第5章

Thirty-oneyearsatthedesk！Andtoshowforitahomeforhiswifeandhimself，adaughterinahomeofherown，asondeadforhiscountry，leavingbehindhimawifeandtwoladstocarrythename——wasitworthwhile？Yes，byJove，itwasworthitalltobeabletogiveamanlikeStephenWickestohiscountry。ForStephenWickeswasafinestalwartlad，agoodsoldier，steadyasarock，withapatient，cheerycouragethatnothingcoulddauntorbreak。

Butforaman’sselfwasitworthwhile？

Jackhadnothoughtofwifeandfamily。TherewasAdrien。Shehadbeenagreatpalbeforethewar，butsincehisreturnshehadseemeddifferent。Everyoneseemeddifferent。Thewarhadleftmanygaps，formerpalshadformedotherties，manyhadgonefromthetown。EvenAdrienhaddriftedawayfromtheoldcurrentsoflife。SheseemedtohavetakenupwithyoungStillwell，whomJackcouldn’tabide。StillwellhadbeenturneddownbytheRecruitingOfficerduringthewar——flatfeet，orsomething。True，hehaddonegreatserviceinRedCross，PatrioticFund，VictoryLoanwork，andthatsortofthing，andapparentlystoodhighintheCommunity。

Hisfatherhaddoubledthesizeofhisstoreandhadbeenagreatforceinallpublicwarwork。Hehadsparedneitherhimselfnorhisson。TheelderStillwell，highupintheProvincialPoliticalworld，sawtoitthathissonwasonallthebigProvincialWarCommittees。Ruperthadalltheshrewdforesightandbusinessabilityofhisfather，whichwassayingagooddeal。Hebegantoassumetheroleofapromisingyoungcapitalist。Thesourcesofhisincomenooneknew——fortunateinvestments，peoplesaid。AndhisHudsonSixstoodattheRectorygateeveryday。Well，notevenforAdrienwouldJackhavechangedplaceswithRupertStillwell。

ForJackMaitlandheldtheextremeand，incertaincircles，unpopularcreedthatthecitizenwhocamericheroutofawarwhichhadlefthiscountrysubmergedindebt，andwhichhaddrainedawayitsbestbloodandleftitpoorerinitsmanhoodbywell-nighseventythousandofitsnoblestyouthleftuponthebattlefieldsofthevariouswarfrontsandbythehundredsofthousandswhowouldgothroughlifeaburdentothemselvesandtothosetowhomtheyshouldhavebeenasupport——thatcitizenwasaccursed。IfAdrienchosetobeafriendofsuchaman，bythatchoicesheclassifiedherselfasimpossibleoffriendshipforJack。Ithadhurtabit。

Butwhatwasonehurtmoreorlesstoonewhomthewarhadleftnumbinheartandbereftofambition？Hewasnotgoingtopityhimself。Hewasluckyindeedtohavehisbodyandnervestillsoundandwhole，buttheyneednotexpecthimtoshowanygreatkeennessinthechaseforafewmorethousandsthatwouldonlyrankhimamongthoseforwhomthewarhadnotdonesobadly。Meantime，forhisfather’ssake，who，thankGod，hadgivenhisbest，hisheart’sbestandthebestofhisbrainandofhissplendidbusinessgeniustohiscountry，hewouldcarryon，withnootherrewardthanthatofservicerendered。

Theystoodtogetherbytheopenfireinthestudy，Jackandhisfather，alikeinmanywaysyetproducingeffectsverydifferent。

Theyoungermanhadthephysicalmakeupoftheolder，thoughofaslightermould。Theyhadthesamehigh，proudlookofconsciousstrength，ofcoolfearlessnessthatnothingcouldfluster。Butthesoulthatlookedoutofthegreyeyesofthesonwasquiteanotherfromthatwhichlookedoutofthedeepblueeyesofthefather——

yet，afterall，thedifferencemaynothavebeeninessencebutonlythattheolderman’ssoulhadlearnedinlife’sexperiencetolookoutonlythroughaveil。

Thesouloftheyouthwaseager，adventurous，stillbelieving，yetwithacertainquestioningandatouchofweariness，aresultoftheaftermathofpeacefollowingthreeyearsofwar。Therewasstill，however，theout-lookingforfarhorizons，theoutreachingimagination，theHeavengivenexpectationoftheInfinite。Intheolderman’seyedweltchieflyreserve。Theveilwasalwaysthereexceptwhenhefounditwiseandusefultodrawitaside。Ifevertheinnerlightflamedforthitwaswhenthemansochose。Self-

mastery，shrewdness，power，knowledge，layinthedarkblueeyes，andallatthesoul’scommand。

Butto-nightasthefather’seyesresteduponhissonwhostoodgazingintoandthroughtheblazingfirethereweretobeseenonlyprideandwistfullove。Butasthesonturnedhiseyestowardhisfathertheveilfellandtheeyesthatansweredwerequiet，shrewd，keenandchieflykind。

Thetalkhadpassedbeyondthecommonplaceoftheday’sdoings。

Theywereamongthebigthings，thefatefulthing——LifeandItsWorth，WorkandItsWages，CreativeIndustryandItsProduct，CapitalandItsPrice，ManandHisRights。

Theywerefrankwitheachother。Thewarhaddonethatforthem。

Foreversincethenightwhenhiseighteen-year-oldboyhadwalkedintohisdenandsaid，“Father，Iameighteen，“andstoodlookingintohiseyesandwaitingforthewordthatcamestraightandunhesitating，“Iknow，boy，youaremysonandyoumustgo，forI

cannot，“eversincethatnight，whichseemednowtobelongtoanotherage，thesetwohadfacedeachotherasmen。Nowtheyweretalkingabouttheyoungman’slifework。

“Frankly，Idon’tlikeit，Dad，“saidtheson。

“Easytoseethat，Jack。“

“I’mreallysorry。I’mafraidanyonecanseeit。ButsomehowI

can’tputmuchpepintoit。“

“Why？“askedthefather，withcurtabruptness。

“Why？Well，Ihardlyknow。Somehowithardlyseemsworthwhile。

Itisnotthegrindoftheoffice，thoughthatisconsiderable。I

couldstickthat，but，afterall，what’stheuse？“

“Whatwouldyouratherdo，Jack？“enquiredhisfatherpatiently，asiftalkingtoachild。“Youtriedforthemedicalprofession，youknow，and——“

“Iknow，Iknow，youarequiterightaboutit。Youmaythinkitpurelaziness。Maybeitis，butIhardlythinkso。PerhapsIwentbacktolecturestoosoonafterthewar。Iwashardlyfit，I

guess，andthewholething，theinsidelife，theinfernalgrindoflectures，theidioticseriousmummeryoftheyoungsters，thoseblessedkidswhoshouldhavebeenspankedbytheirmothers——thewholethingsickenedmeinthreemonths。IfIhadwaitedperhapsI

mighthavedonebetteratthething。Idon’tknow——hardtotell。“

Theboypaused，lookingintothefire。

“Itwasmyfault，boy，“saidthefatherhastily。“Ioughttohavefiguredthethingoutdifferently。But，yousee，Ihadnoknowledgeofwhatyouhadgonethroughandofitseffectuponyou。

Iknowbetternow。Ithoughtthattheharderyouwentintotheworkthebetteritwouldbeforyou。Imadeamistake。“

“Well，youcouldn’ttell，Dad。Howcouldyou？ButeverythingwassodifferentwhenIcameback。Merekidswerecarryingonwherewehadbeen，anddoingitwell，too，byJove，andwedidn’tseemtobeneeded。“

“Needed，boy？“Thefather’svoicewasthick。

“Yes，butIdidn’tseethatthen。Selfish，Ifear。Then，youknow，homewasnotthesame——“

Theoldermanchokedbackagroanandleanedhardagainstthemantel。

“Iknow，Dad，IcanseenowIwasselfish——“

“Selfish？Don’tsaythat，mylad。Selfish？Afterallyouhadgonethrough？No，Ishallneverapplythatwordtoyou，butyou——

youdon’tseemtorealise——“Thefatherhesitatedafewmoments，then，asiftakingaplunge:

“Youdon’trealisejusthowbigathing——howbiganinvestmentthereisinthatbusinessdownthere。“Hishandswepttowardthewindowthroughwhichcouldbeseenthelightsofthatpartofthetownwhichclusteredaboutthevariousmillsandfactoriesofwhichhewasowner。

“Iknowthereisalot，Dad，buthowmuchIdon’tknow。“

“There’s$250，000inplantalone，boy，butthere’smorethanmoney，alotmorethanmoney——“Then，afterapause，asiftohimself，“A

lotmorethanmoney——there’sbrainsweatandheartagonyandprayersandtears——and，yes，life，boy，yourmother’slifeandmine。Weworkedandsavedandprayedandplanned——“

Hesteppedquicklytowardthewindow，drewasidethecurtainandpointedtoadarkmassofheadlandbeyondthetwinklinglights。

“YouseetheBluffthere。FiftyyearsagoIstoodwithmyfatheronthatBluffandwatchedthelogscomedowntherivertothesawmill——hissawmill，intowhichhehadputhistotalcapital，fivehundreddollars。Irememberwellhiswords，’Myson，ifyouliveoutyourlifeyouwillseeonthatflatatownwherethousandsofmenandwomenwillfindhomesand，pleaseGod，happiness。’YourmotherandIwatchedthattowngrowforfortyyears，andwetriedtomakepeoplehappy——atleast，iftheywerenotitwasnofaultofhers。Ofcourse，otherhandshavebeenattheworksincethen，butherhandsandminemorethananyother，andmorethanallotherstogetherwereinit，andherheart，too，wasinitall。“

Theboyturnedfromthewindowandsatdownheavilyinadeeparmchair，hishandscoveringhisface。HisheartwasstillsickwiththeachethathadsmittenitthatdayinfrontofAmienswhentheColonel，hisfather’sfriend，hadsentforhimandreadhimthewirewhichhadbroughttheterriblemessageofhismother’sdeath。

Thelongmonthsofdaysandnightsheavywithwatching，toiling，praying，agonising，forhertwinsons，andforthemanyboyswhohadgoneoutfromthelittletownworeouthernonetoorobuststrength。Then，thesniper’sbulletthathadpiercedtheheartofherboyseemedtoreachtoherheartaswell。Afterthat，thehomethatoncehadbeentoitsdwellersthemostcompletelyheart-

satisfyingspotinalltheworldbecameaplaceofdread，ofhauntingghosts，ofacutelypoignantmemories。Theyusedthehouseforsleepinginandforeatingin，buttherewasnolivinginitlonger。Tothemitwasatomb，thoughneitherwouldacknowledgeitandeachborewithitfortheother’ssake。

“Honestly，Dad，IwishIcouldmakeitgo，foryoursake——“

“Formysake，boy？Why，IhaveallofitIcarefor。Notformysake。Butwhatelsecanwedobutstickit？“

“Isupposeso——butforHeaven’ssakegivemesomethingworthaman’sdoing。IfIcouldtackleajobsuchasyouand“——theboywinced——“youandmothertookonIbelieveI’dtryit。Butthatoffice！Anyfoolcouldsitinmyplaceandcarryon。Itislikethejobtheyusedtogivetothecrocksortheslackersatthebasetodo。Givemeaman’sjob。“

Thefather’skeenblueeyeslookedhissonover。

“Aman’sjob？“hesaid，withagrimsmile，realisingashissondidnothowmuchofaman’sjobitwas。“SupposeyoulearnthisoneasIdid？“

“Whatdoyoumean，Dad，exactly？Howdidyoubegin？“

“I？Atthetailofthesaw。“

“Allright，I’mgame。“

“Boy，youareright——Ibelieveinmysoulyouareright。Youdidaman’sjob’outthere’andyouhaveitinyoutodoaman’sjobagain。“

Thesonshruggedhisshoulders。Nextmorningatseventheyweredownattheplaningmillwheremenweredoingmen’swork。Hewasataman’sjob，atthetailofasaw，anddrawingaman’spay，rubbingshoulderswithmenonequalterms，ashehadinthetrenches。AndforthefirsttimesinceArmisticeDay，ifnothappyorsatisfied，hewascontenttocarryon。

SamWigglesworthhadfinishedwithschool，whichisnotquitethesameassayingthathehadfinishedhiseducation。Anumberofcauseshadcombinedtobringthiseventtopass。First，SamwasbeyondtheageofcompulsoryattendanceatthePublicSchool，theSchoolRegisterrecordinghimassixteenyearsold。Then，Sam’seducationalcareerhadbeenanythingbutbrilliant。Indeed，itmightfairlybedescribedasdull。Allhislifehehadbeenbehindhisclass，thebiggestboyinhisclass，whichfactmighthavebeentoSamaconstantcauseofhumiliationhadhenotheldasoftheslightestmomentmerelyacademicachievements。OneunpleasanteffectwhichthisfacthaduponSam’smoralqualitywasthatittendedtomakehimabully。Hewasphysicallythesuperiorofallinhisclass，andthissuperiorityheexertedforwhathedeemedthedisciplineofyoungerandweakerboys，whoexcelledhiminintellectualattainment。

Furthermore，Sam，whilequitereadytoenforcethecodeofdisciplinewhichheconsideredsuitabletothesmallerandweakerboysinhisclass，resentedandresistedtheattemptsofconstitutedauthoritytoenforcedisciplineinhisowncase，withtheresultthatSam’seducationalcareerwas，aftermuchlongsuffering，abruptlyterminatedbytheactionofthelong-sufferinghead，AlexDay。

“WithgreatregretImustreport，“hislettertotheSchoolBoardran，“thatinthecaseofSamuelWigglesworthIhavesomehowfailedtoinculcatetheelementaryprinciplesofobediencetoschoolregulationsandofadherencetotruthinspeech。Iamfreetoacknowledge，“wentontheletter，“thatthedefectmaybeinmyselfasmuchasintheboy，buthavingfailedinwinninghimtoobedienceandtruth-telling，IfeelthatwhileIremainmasteroftheschoolImustdeclinetoallowtheinfluenceofthisyouthtocontinueintheschool。Awhole-heartedpenitenceforhismanyoffencesandanearnestpurposetoreformwouldinducemetogivehimafurthertrial。IntheabsenceofeitherpenitenceorpurposetoreformImustregretfullyadviseexpulsion。“

JoyfullytheSchoolBoard，whohadformonthsurgeduponthereluctantheadthisaction，acquiescedinthecoursesuggested，andSamuelwasforthwithexpelled，tohisownunmitigatedreliefbuttohisfather’sredandragingindignationatwhathetermedthe“(h)ignorantpersecutionoftheirbettersbythese(h)insolentColonials，“for“’isson’ad’adtheadvantagesofschoolsofthe’igheststandin’in(H)England。“