第19章
“That’stheonlywayweeverwillgo。Youcan’tsitonthebankandthinkaboutit。Youhavetoplunge。That’sthewayI’vealwaysdone，andit’stherightwayforpeoplelikeyouandme。There’snothingsodangerousassittingstill。You’veonlygotonelife，oneyouth，andyoucanletitslipthroughyourfingersifyouwantto；nothingeasier。Mostpeopledothat。
You’dbebetterofftrampingtheroadswithmethanyouarehere。“Nilsheldbackherheadandlookedintohereyes。“ButI’mnotthatkindofatramp，Clara。Youwon’thavetotakeinsewing。I’mwithaNorwegianshippingline；cameoveronbusinesswiththeNewYorkoffices，butnowI’mgoingstraightbacktoBergen。IexpectI’vegotasmuchmoneyastheEricsons。
Fathersentmealittletogetstarted。Theyneverknewaboutthat。There，Ihadn’tmeanttotellyou；Iwantedyoutocomeonyourownnerve。“
Claralookedoffacrossthefields。“Itisn’tthat，Nils，butsomethingseemstoholdme。I’mafraidtopullagainstit。
Itcomesoutoftheground，Ithink。“
“Iknowallaboutthat。Onehastotearloose。You’renotneededhere。Yourfatherwillunderstand；he’smadelikeus。AsforOlaf，Johannawilltakebettercareofhimthaneveryoucould。It’snowornever，ClaraVavrika。Mybag’satthestation；Ismuggleditthereyesterday。“
Claraclungtohimandhidherfaceagainsthisshoulder。
“Nottonight，“shewhispered。“Sithereandtalktometonight。
Idon’twanttogoanywheretonight。Imayneverloveyoulikethisagain。“
Nilslaughedthroughhisteeth。“Youcan’tcomethatonme。
That’snotmyway，ClaraVavrika。Eric’smareisovertherebehindthestacks，andI’moffonthemidnight。It’sgoodbye，oroffacrosstheworldwithme。Mycarriagewon’twait。I’vewrittenalettertoOlaf，I’llmailitintown。Whenhereadsithewon’tbotherus——notifIknowhim。He’dratherhavetheland。Besides，IcoulddemandaninvestigationofhisadministrationofCousinHenrik’sestate，andthatwouldbebadforapublicman。You’venoclothes，Iknow；butyoucansituptonight，andwecangeteverythingontheway。Where’syourolddash，ClaraVavrika？What’sbecomeofyourBohemianblood？Iusedtothinkyouhadcourageenoughforanything。Where’syournerve——whatareyouwaitingfor？“
Claradrewbackherhead，andhesawtheslumberousfireinhereyes。“Foryoutosayonething，NilsEricson。“
“Ineversaythatthingtoanywoman，ClaraVavrika。“Heleanedback，liftedhergentlyfromtheground，andwhisperedthroughhisteeth:“ButI’llnever，neverletyougo，nottoanymanonearthbutme！Doyouunderstandme？Now，waithere。“
Clarasankdownonasheafofwheatandcoveredherfacewithherhands。Shedidnotknowwhatshewasgoingtodo——
whethershewouldgoorstay。Thegreat，silentcountryseemedtolayaspelluponher。Thegroundseemedtoholdherasifbyroots。Herkneesweresoftunderher。Shefeltasifshecouldnotbearseparationfromheroldsorrows，fromherolddiscontent。
Theyweredeartoher，theyhadkeptheralive，theywereapartofher。Therewouldbenothingleftofherifshewerewrenchedawayfromthem。Nevercouldshepassbeyondthatskylineagainstwhichherrestlessnesshadbeatsomanytimes。Shefeltasifhersoulhadbuiltitselfanestthereonthathorizonatwhichshelookedeverymorningandeveryevening，anditwasdeartoher，inexpressiblydear。Shepressedherfingersagainsthereyeballstoshutitout。Besidehersheheardthetrampingofhorsesinthesoftearth。Nilssaidnothingtoher。Heputhishandsunderherarmsandliftedherlightlytohersaddle。Thenheswunghimselfintohisown。
“Weshallhavetoridefasttocatchthemidnighttrain。A
lastgallop，ClaraVavrika。Forward！“
Therewasastart，athudofhoofsalongthemoonlitroad，twodarkshadowsgoingoverthehill；andthenthegreat，stilllandstretcheduntroubledundertheazurenight。Twoshadowshadpassed。
AyearaftertheflightofOlafEricson’swife，thenighttrainwassteamingacrosstheplainsofIowa。Theconductorwashurryingthroughoneofthedaycoaches，hislanternonhisarm，whenalank，fair-hairedboysatupinoneoftheplushseatsandtweakedhimbythecoat。
“Whatisthenextstop，please，sir？“
“RedOak，Iowa。ButyougothroughtoChicago，don’tyou？“
Helookeddown，andnoticedthattheboy’seyeswereredandhisfacewasdrawn，asifhewereintrouble。
“Yes。ButIwaswonderingwhetherIcouldgetoffatthenextplaceandgetatrainbacktoOmaha。“
“Well，Isupposeyoucould。LiveinOmaha？“
“No。InthewesternpartoftheState。HowsoondowegettoRedOak？“
“Fortyminutes。You’dbettermakeupyourmind，soIcantellthebaggagemantoputyourtrunkoff。“
“Oh，nevermindaboutthat！Imean，Ihaven’tgotany，“theboyadded，blushing。
“Runaway，“theconductorthought，asheslammedthecoachdoorbehindhim。
EricEricsoncrumpleddowninhisseatandputhisbrownhandtohisforehead。Hehadbeencrying，andhehadhadnosupper，andhisheadwasachingviolently。“Oh，whatshallIdo？“hethought，ashelookeddullydownathisbigshoes。“Nilswillbeashamedofme；Ihaven’tgotanyspunk。“
EversinceNilshadrunawaywithhisbrother’swife，lifeathomehadbeenhardforlittleEric。HismotherandOlafbothsuspectedhimofcomplicity。Mrs。Ericsonwasharshandfaultfinding，constantlywoundingtheboy’spride；andOlafwasalwayssettingheragainsthim。
JoeVavrikaheardoftenfromhisdaughter。Clarahadalwaysbeenfondofherfather，andhappinessmadeherkinder。ShewrotehimlongaccountsofthevoyagetoBergen，andofthetripsheandNilstookthroughBohemiatothelittletownwhereherfatherhadgrownupandwheresheherselfwasborn。Shevisitedallherkinsmenthere，andsentherfathernewsofhisbrother，whowasapriest；ofhissister，whohadmarriedahorse-breeder——oftheirbigfarmandtheirmanychildren。TheselettersJoealwaysmanagedtoreadtolittleEric。TheycontainedmessagesforEricandHilda。Clarasentpresents，too，whichEricneverdaredtotakehomeandwhichpoorlittleHildaneverevensaw，thoughshelovedtohearErictellaboutthemwhentheywereoutgettingtheeggstogether。ButOlafoncesawEriccomingoutofVavrika’shouse——
theoldmanhadneveraskedtheboytocomeintohissaloon——andOlafwentstraighttohismotherandtoldher。ThatnightMrs。
EricsoncametoEric’sroomafterhewasinbedandmadeaterriblescene。Shecouldbeveryterrifyingwhenshewasreallyangry。
SheforbadehimevertospeaktoVavrikaagain，andafterthatnightshewouldnotallowhimtogototownalone。SoitwasalongwhilebeforeEricgotanymorenewsofhisbrother。ButoldJoesuspectedwhatwasgoingon，andhecarriedClara’slettersaboutinhispocket。OneSundayhedroveouttoseeaGermanfriendofhis，andchancedtocatchsightofEric，sittingbythecattlepondinthebigpasture。TheywenttogetherintoFritzOberlies’barn，andreadthelettersandtalkedthingsover。Ericadmittedthatthingsweregettinghardforhimathome。ThatverynightoldJoesatdownandlaboriouslypennedastatementofthecasetohisdaughter。
ThingsgotnobetterforEric。HismotherandOlaffeltthat，howevercloselyhewaswatched，hestill，astheysaid，“heard。“Mrs。Ericsoncouldnotadmitneutrality。ShehadsentJohannaVavrikapackingbacktoherbrother’s，thoughOlafwouldmuchratherhavekeptherthanAnders’eldestdaughter，whomMrs。
Ericsoninstalledinherplace。Hewasnotsohighhandedashismother，andheoncesulkilytoldherthatshemightbetterhavetaughthergranddaughtertocookbeforeshesentJohannaaway。
Olafcouldhaveborneagooddealforthesakeofprunesspicedinhoney，thesecretofwhichJohannahadtakenawaywithher。
AtlasttwoletterscametoJoeVavrika:onefromNils，enclosingapostalorderformoneytopayEric’spassagetoBergen，andonefromClara，sayingthatNilshadaplaceforEricintheofficesofhiscompany，thathewastolivewiththem，andthattheywereonlywaitingforhimtocome。HewastoleaveNewYorkononeoftheboatsofNils’ownline；thecaptainwasoneoftheirfriends，andEricwastomakehimselfknownatonce。
Nils’directionsweresoexplicitthatababycouldhavefollowedthem，Ericfelt。Andherehewas，nearingRedOak，Iowa，androckingbackwardandforwardindespair。Neverhadhelovedhisbrothersomuch，andneverhadthebigworldcalledtohimsohard。Buttherewasalumpinhisthroatwhichwouldnotgodown。Eversincenightfallhehadbeentormentedbythethoughtofhismother，aloneinthatbighousethathadsentforthsomanymen。Herunkindnessnowseemedsolittle，andherlonelinesssogreat。Herememberedeverythingshehadeverdoneforhim:howfrightenedshehadbeenwhenhetorehishandinthecorn-sheller，andhowshewouldn’tletOlafscoldhim。WhenNilswentawayhedidn’tleavehismotherallalone，orhewouldneverhavegone。Ericfeltsureofthat。