第1章
MYWIFE
CHAPTERI
HOWIcomenottohavealastnameisaquestionthathasalwayshadmoreorlessaggervationmixedupwithit。ImightofhadonejestaswellasnotifOldHankWaltershadn"tbeensoall-fired，infernalbull-headedaboutthingsingineral，andhiswifeElmiraablamesightworse，andbothofemreadytorowataminute"snoticeandsticktoitforevermore。
Hank，hewasconsiderableofalusher。OneSaturdaynight，whenhecomehomefromthevil-
lageinhisusualfix，hestumbledoverabasketthatwassettingonhisfrontsteps。Thenhegotupanddrawedbackhisfootunsteadytokickitplumbintokingdomcome。JestthenhehearnElmiraopeningthedoorbehindhim，andheturnedhisheadsudden。Butthekickwasalreadystartedintotheair，andwhenheturnshecan"tstopit。
AndsoHankgetstwistedandfallsdownandstepsonhimself。Thatbasketletsoutayowl。
“It"skittens，“saysHank，stillsettingdownandstaringatthattherebasket。Allofwhich，youunderstand，Iama-tellingyoufromhearsay，asthelawyersalwaysastsyouincourt。
Elmira，shesingsout：
“Kittens，nothing！It"sababy！”
Andsheopensthebasketandlooksinanditwasme。
“HennereyWalters，“shesays——pickingmeup，andshakingmeathimlikeIwasacrime，“Hen-
nereyWalters，wheredidyougetthisherebaby？”
ShealwayscallshimHennereywhensheisgettingreadytogivehimfits。
Hank，hescratcheshishead，forhe"skindo"
confuddled，andthinksmebbyhereallyhasbroughtthisbasketwithhim。Hetriestothinkofalltheplaceshehasbeenthatnight。Buthecan"tthinkofanyplacebutBillNolan"ssaloon。Sohesays：
“Elmira，honest，Iain"thadbutonedrinkallday。“Andthenhekindo"rousesupalittlebit，andgetssurprisedandsays：
“ThataBABYyougotthere，Elmira？”Andthenhesays，dignified：“Sofurasthat"sconsarned，Elmira，wheredidYOUgetthattherebaby？”
Shelooksathim，andsheseeshedon"treallyknowwhereIcomefrom。OldHankmostlywastruth-
fulwhenlickeredup，furthatmatter，andsheknowedit，furhecouldn"tthinkupnoliesexceptingagineraldenialwhenintoxicateduptothegills。
Elmiralooksintothebasket。Theywasoneofthemlongrubbertubesstringingoutofabottlethatwasinit，andIhadbeensuckingthatbottlewheninterrupted。Andtheywasn"tnothingelseinthatbasketbutabigthickshawlwhichhadbeenwrappedallaroundme，andElmiraoftenworeittomeetingafterward。Shegoesinsideandshelooksatthebottleandmebythelight，andOldHank，hecomesstumblinginafterwardandsetsdowninachairandwaitstogetHailColumbiaforcominghomeinthatshape，so"shecanrowbackagin，liketheydoneeverySaturdaynight。
Blowedintheglassofthebottlewasthename：
“Daniel，DunneandCompany。“Anybodybutthemtwooldignoramusescouldoftoldrightoffthatthatdidn"thavenothingtodowithme，butwasjestthecompanythatmadethemkindofbottles。Butshereadsitoutloudthreeorfourtimes，andthenshesays：
“HisnameisDanielDunne，“shesays。
“AndCompany，“saysHank，feelingrightquarrelsome。
“COMPANYhain"tnoname，“saysshe。
“WHYhain"tit，I"dliketoknow？”saysHank。
“IknowedamanoncetwhosenamewasFarmer，andifafarmer"sanamewhyain"tacompanyanametoo？”
“HisnameisDanielDunne，“saysElmira，quiet-
like，butnotdodgingarow，neither。
“ANDCOMPANY，“saysHank，gettingontohisfeet，likehealwaysdonewhenheseentroublecoming。WhenOldHankwasfulloflickerheknowedjestthewaystoaggervatehertheworst。
Shemightofbangedhimonethesameasusual，andgotherowneyeblackedalso，thesameasusual；butjestthenIletsoutanotherbigyowl，andshegivemesomemilk。
Iguesstheonlyreasontheyeverkep"meatfirstwassotheycouldquarrelaboutmyname。
They"dlivedtogetheragoodmanyyearsandquarrelledabouteverythingelseunderthesun，andwasrunningoutofsubjects。Anewsubjectkindo"briskenedthingsupfurawhile。
Butfinallytheywenttoofarwithitonetime。
IwasabouttwoyearsoldthenandhewasstillcallingmeCompanyandhercallingmeDunne。
Thistimehehitsheralickthatlaysheroutandlikestokillher，anditgetshimscared。Butshegetsaroundaginafterawhile，andtheybothseeithaswenttoofurthattime，andsotheymakesup。
“Elmira，Igivein，“saysHank。“HisnameisDunne。“
“No，“saysshe，tender-like，“youwasright，Hank。HisnameisCompany。“Sotheyprettyneargotintoanotherrowoverthat。ButtheyfinallymadeitupbetweenemIdidn"thavenolastname，andthey"djestcallmeDanny。Whichtheybothdonefaithfuleverafter，asagreed。
OldHank，hewasablacksmith，andheusedtolammmeconsiderable，himandhiswifenothavinganykidsoftheirowntolick。Helammedmewhenhewasdrunk，andhewhaledmewhenhewassober。
Ineverheltitupaginhimmuch，neither，notfuragoodmanyyears，becausehegotmeusedtoityoung，andIhadn"tneverknowednothingelse。
Hank"swife，Elmira，sheusedtolickhimjestaboutasoftenashelickedher，andbosshimjestasmuch。
Sohefellbackonme。Amanhasjestnaturallygottohavesomethingtocussaroundandboss，so"stokeephimselffromfindingouthedon"tamounttonothing。Leastways，mostmenislikethat。AndHank，hedidn"tamounttomuch；andhekindo"knowedit，waydowndeepinhisinmostgizzards，anditwereacomforttohimtohavemearound。
Buttheywasonethingheneversotnostoreby，andIgotalongnowtowhereIholdthatupaginhimmore"nallthelickingsheeverdone。Thatwasbooklearning。Heneverhadnonehimself，andhewassotaginit，andhenevermademegetnone，andifI"deverastedhimforanyhe"dofwhaledmefurthat。Hank"swife，Elmira，hadmarriedbeneathher，andeverybodyinourtownhadcometoseeit，andusedtosympathizewithheraboutitwhenHankwasn"taround。She"dtellem，yes，itwasso。BackinElmira，NewYork，fromwhichherfatherandmothercometoourpartofIllinoiseintheearlydays，herfatherhadkep"ahotel，andtheywasstylishkindo"
folks。WhenshewasbornhermotherwashomesickfurallthatstyleandfurYorkStateways，andsoshenamedherElmira。
ButwhenshemarriedHank，hehadconsiderableland。Hisfatherhadleftittohim，butitwasallswampland，andsoHank"sfather，hehuntedmore"nhefarmed，andHankandhisbrothersdonethesamewhenhewasaboy。ButHank，helearntalittleblacksmithingwhenhewasgrowingup，causehelikedtotinkeraroundandtoshowhowstouthewas。Then，whenhemarriedElmiraAppleton，hehadtogotoworkpractisingthatperfessionreg"lar，becauseheneverlearntnothingaboutfarming。He"dsellfifteenortwentyacres，everynowandthen，andthey"dbehightimestillhe"dspentitup，andmebbyElmirawouldgetsomenewclothes。
ButwhenIwasfoundonthedoorstep，thelandwasallgone，andHankwaspractisingreg"lar，whennotbusycussingoutthefellersthathadboughttheland。Fursomesmartfellershadcomealong，andboughtupallthatswamplandanddreenedit，andnowitwasworthseventyoreightydollarsanacre。Hank，hefiggeredsomeonehadcheatedhim。WhichtheWaltersescouldofdreenedtheirntoo，onlythey"drutherhuntducksandhavefishfrysthantodigditches。AllofwhichIhearnElmiratalkingoverwiththeneighboursmore"noncewhenIwasgrowingup，andtheyallsays：
“Howsaditisyouhavecametothis，Elmira！”
Andthenshe"dkindo"spunkupandsay，thankstoglory，she"dkep"herpride。
Well，theywasworseplacestoliveinthanthattherelittletown，eveniftheywasn"tnorailroadwithineightmiles，andonlythreehundredsolesinthehullcopperation。WhichHank"sshopandourhousesetintheedgeofthewoodsjestoutsidethecopperationline，so"sthecitymarshaldidn"thavenoauthoritytoarresthimafterhecrossedit。
TheywasonethinginthathouseIalwaysadmiredwhenIwasakid。Andthatwasabigcistern。Mostpeoplehastheircisternsoutsidetheirhouse，andtheyisatinpipetakesalltherainwaterofftheroofandscootsitintothem。Ournworkedthesame，butourcisternwasrightinunderourkitchenfloor，andtheywasatrapdoorwithleatherhingesopenedintoitrightbythekitchenstove。Butthatwasn"twhyIwassoproudofit。
Itwasbecausethatcisternwasjestplumbfulloffish——bullheadsandredhorseandsunfishandotherkinds。
Hank"sfatherhadbuiltthatcistern。Andonetimehebrunghomesomelivefishinabucketanddumpedeminthere。Andtheygrowed。Andtheymultipliedinthereandrefurnishedtheearth。
Sothatcisternhadgottobeafamblycustom，whichwaskep"upinthatfamblyforahabit。ItwasagreatcomforttoHank，furallthemWalterseswasgreatfisheaters，thoughitneverwenttobrains。
Wefedemnowandthen，andthrowedbackinthelittleonestilltheywasgrowed，andkep"thedeadonespickedoutsoon"swesmelledanythingwrong，anditneverhurtthewaternone；andwhenIwasakidIwouldn"toftookanythingfurlivinginahouselikethat。
Oncet，whenIwasakidaboutsixyearsold，Hankcomehomefromthebar-room。HegottochasingElmira"scatcausehesaysitwasmakingfacesathim。Thecisterndoorwasopen，andHankfellin。Elmirawasovertotown，andIwasscared。
ShehadalwaystoldmenottofoolaroundtherenonewhenIwasalittlekid，furifIfellinthereI"dbeacorpsequicker"nscatt。
SowhenHankfellin，andIhearnhimsplash，beingonlyalittlefeller，andawfulscaredbecauseElmirahadalwaysmadeitsostrong，Ihadn"tnosortofunbeliefbutwhatHankwasacorpsealready。
SoIslamsthetrapdoorshutoverthattherecisternwithoutlookingin，furIhearnHankfloppingarounddowninthere。Ihadn"tneverhearnacorpseflopbefore，anddidn"tknowbutwhatitmightbesome-
howinjurioustome，andIwasn"tgoingtotakenochances。
SoIwentoutandplayedinthefrontyard，andwaitedfurElmira。ButIcouldn"tseemtogetmymindsettledonplayingIwasahorse，nornothing。
Ikep"thinkingmebbyHank"scorpseisgoingtocomefloppingoutofthatcisternandwhalemesomeunusualway。Ihadn"tneverbeenlickedbyacorpse，anddidn"trightlyknowjestwhatoneis，anyhow，beingyoungandcomparitiveinnocent。
SoIsneaksbackinandsetsalltheflatironsinthehouseontopofthecisternlid。Ihearnsomeflop-
pingandsplashingandspluttering，likeHank"scorpseistryingtojumpupandisfallingbackintothewater，andIhearnHank"svoice，andgotscarederyet。AndwhenElmiracomealongdowntheroad，sheseenmebythegatea-crying，andsheastsmewhy。
“Hankisacorpse，“saysI，blubbering。
“Acorpse！”saysElmira，droppinghercoffeewhichshewascarryinghomefromthegineralstoreandpost-office。“Danny，whatdoyoumean？”
IseenIwastoblamesomehow，andIwishtthenIhadn"tsaidnothingaboutHankbeingacorpse。
AndImadeupmymindIwouldn"tsaynothingmore。SowhenshegrabsholtofmeandastsmeaginwhatdidImeanIblubberedharder，jestthewayakidwill，andsaysnothingelse。IwishtI
hadn"tsetthemflatironsonthatdoor，furitcometomeallatoncetthatevenifHankHASturnedintoacorpseIain"tgotanyrighttokeephiminthatcistern。
JestthenOldMis"Rogers，whichisoneofourneighbours，comesby，whileElmiraisshakingmeandyellingoutwhatdidImeanandhowdidithappenandhadIsawitandwherewasHank"scorpse？
AndMis"Rogersshesays，“What"sDannybeendoingnow，Elmira？”mebeingalwaysuptosome-
thing。
Elmirasheturnedaroundandseenher，andshegivesawhoopandthenhollersout：“Hankisdead！”andthrowsherapernoverherheadandsetsrightdowninthepathandboo-hooslikeababy。AndIbellerslouder。
Mis"Rogers，sheneverwaitedtoastnothingmore。Sheseenshehadapieceofnews，andshe"sboundtobethefirsttospreadit，liketheyisalwaysalotofwomenwantstobeinthemcountrytowns。
SherunrightacrosttheroadtowheretheAlexan-
derseslived。Mis"Alexander，sheseenhercomingandunhookedthescreendoor，andMis"
Rogersshehollersoutbeforeshereachedtheporch：
“HankWaltersisdead。“
Andthenshewentfootingitupthestreet。
Theywasablackplumeonherbunnetwhichnoddedthesameasonahearse，andshewasintoandoutofsevenfrontyardsinfiveminutes。
Mis"Alexander，sherunsacrostthestreettowherewewas，andshekneelsdownandputsherarmaroundElmira，whichwasstillrockingbackandforthinthepath，andshesays：
“Howdoyouknowhe"sdead，Elmira？Iseenhimnotmore"nanhourago。“
“Dannyseenitall，“saysElmira。
Mis"Alexanderturnedtome，andwantstoknowwhathappenedandhowithappenedandwhereithappened。ButIdon"twanttosaynothingaboutthatcistern。SoIbustsoutbelleringfresher"never，andIsays：
“Hewasdrunk，andhecomehomedrunk，andhedoneitthen，andthat"showheconeit，“Isays。
“Andyouseenhim？”shesays。Inodded。
“Whereishe？”sayssheandElmira，bothtooncet。
ButIwasscaredtosaynothingaboutthattherecistern，soIjestbawledsomemore。
“Wasitintheblacksmithshop？”saysMis"
Alexander。Inoddedmyheadaginandletitgoatthat。
“Isheintherenow？”astsMis"Alexander。I
noddedagin。Ihadn"tmeanttogiveoutnountruestories。Butakidwillalwaystellalie，notmeaningtotellone，ifyousortofinvitehimwithquestionslikethat，andgethimscaredthewayyou"reacting。
Besides，Isaystomyself，“solongasHankhasturnedintoacorpseandthatmakeshimdead，what"sthedifferencewhetherhe"sintheblack-
smithshopornot？”FurIhadn"thadanyplainidea，beingsuchalittlekid，thatacorpsemeanttobedead，andwasn"tsurewhatbeingdeadwaslike，neither，excepttheyhadfuneralsoveryouthen。Iknowedbeingacorpsemustbesomesortofabigdisad-
vantagefromthewayElmiraalwayssayskeepawayfromthatcisterndoororI"llbeone。Butiftheywasgoingtobeafuneralinourhouse，I"dfeelkindo"important，too。Theydidn"thaveemeverydayinourtown，andwehadn"tneverhadoneofourown。
SoMis"Alexander，sheledElmiraintothehouse，botha-crying，andMis"Alexandertryingtocomforther，andmeataggingalongbehindholdingontoElmira"sskirtsandsnifflingintothem。AndinafewminutesallthemwomenMis"Rogershastoldcomefilingintothatroom，oneatatime，lookingsad。OnlyOldMis"Primrose，shewasawfullategettingtherebecauseshestoppedtoputonherbunnetshealwaysworetofuneralswiththeblackParislaceonithercousinArmintyWhitehadsentherfromChicago。
WhentheyfoundoutHankhadcomehomewithlickerinhimanddoneithimself，theywasallexcited，andtheyallcrowdsaroundandastsmehow，excepttwoasisholdingontoElmira"shandswhichsetsmoaninginachair。AndtheyallastsmequestionsastowhatIseenhimdo，whichiftheyhadn"tIwouldn"thavetoldemtheliesIdid。
Buttheyeggedmeontoit。
Saysonewoman：“Danny，youseenhimdoitintheblacksmithshop？”
Inodded。
“Buthowdidhegetin？”singsoutanotherwoman。“ThedoorwaslockedontheoutsidewithapadlockjestnowwhenIcomeby。Hecouldn"tofkilledhimselfinthereandlockedthedoorontheoutside。“
Ididn"tseehowhecouldofdonethatmyself，soIbeguntobawlaginandsaidnothingatall。
“Hemustofcrawledthroughthatlittlesidewindow，“saysanotherone。“ItwasopenwhenI
comeby，ifthedoorWASlocked。Didyouseehimcrawlthroughthelittlesidewindow，Danny？”
Inodded。Theywasn"tnothingelsefurmetodo。
“ButYOUhain"ttallenoughtolookthroughthattherewindow，“saysanotheronetome。“Howcouldyouseeintothatshop，Danny？”
Ididn"tknow，soIdidn"tsaynothingatall；I
jestsniffled。
“Theyisastoreboxrightinunderthatwindow，“
saysanotherone。“DannymusthaveclumbontothatstoreboxandlookedinafterheseenHankcomedowntheroadandcrawlthroughthewindow。
Didyouscrambleontothestoreboxandlookin，Danny？”
Ijestnoddedagin。
“Andwhatwasityouseenhimdo？Howdidhekillhimself？”theyallaststooncet。
_I_didn"tknow。SoIjestbellersandboo-hoossomemore。ThingswasgettingpastanythingI
couldseethewayoutof。
“Hemightofhunghimselftooneoftheironringsinthejistsabovetheforge，“saysanotherwoman。“Heclumbontotheforgetotietheropetooneofthemrings，andhetiedtheotherendaroundhisneck，andthenhesteppedoff"ntheforge。
Wasthathowhedoneit，Danny？”
Inodded。AndthenIbelleredlouderthanever。
IknowedHankwasdowninthattherecistern，acorpseandamightywetcorpse，allthistime；buttheykindo"gotmetothinkingmebbyhewashang-
ingoutintheshopbytheforge，too。AndIguessedI"dbettersticktotheshopstory，notwantingtosaynothingaboutthatcisternnosooner"nIcouldhelpit。
Prettysoononewomansays，kindo"shivery：
“Idon"twanttohavethejobofopeningthedoorofthatblacksmithshopthefirstone！”
Andtheyallkindo"shiveredthen，andlookedatElmira。Theysaystoletsomeofthemenopenit。AndMis"Alexander，shesaysshe"llrunhomeandtellherhusbandrightoff。
AndallthetimeElmiraismoaninginthatchair。
OnewomansaysElmiraorterhaveacupo"tea，whichshe"lllayoffherbunnetandgotothekitchenandmakeitfurher。ButElmirasaysno，shecan"ta-beartothinkoftea，withpoorHennereya-hang-
ingoutthereintheshop。Butshewaskindo"
enjoyingallthatfussbeingmadeoverher，too。
Andalltheotherwomensays：
“Poorthing！”Butallthesametheywasmadshesaidshedidn"twantanytea，fortheyallwantedsomeanddidn"tfeelfreewithoutshetookittoo。
Whichshesaidshewouldafterthey"dcoaxedawhileandmadeherseeherduty。
Sotheyallgoesouttothekitchen，bringingalongsomeofthebestroomchairs，Elmiracomingtoo，andmetaggingalongbehind。Andthefirstthingtheynoticedwasthemflatironsontopofthecisterndoor。Mis"Primrose，shesaysthatlooksfunny。
ButanotherwomanspeaksupandsaysDannymustofbeenplayingwiththemwhileElmirawasovertown。Shesays，“Wasyouplayingtheywashorses，Danny？”
Iwasfeelingconsiderablelikealiarbythistime，butIsaysIwasplayinghorseswiththem，furI
couldn"tseenouseinhurryingthingsup。Iwasboundtogetalammingpurtysoonanyhow。WhenIwasakidIcouldalwaysbetonthat。Sotheypicksuptheflatirons，andastheypicksemuptheycomeasplashingnoiseinthecistern。Ithinkstomyself，Hank"scorpse"llbeoutofthereinaminute。
Onewoman，shesays：
“Goodnessgracioussakesalive！What"sthat，Elmira？”
Elmirasaysthatcisternismightyfulloffish，andtheyissomegreatbigonesinthere，anditmustbesomeofthema-floppingaround。Whichiftheyhadn"tofbeenallworkedupandtalkingalltooncetandallthinkingofHank"sbodyhangingoutthereintheblacksmithshoptheymightofsuspicionedsomething。Forthatfloppingkep"upsteady，andalotofsplashingtoo。Imebbyortermentionedsoonerithadbeenadrysummerandtheywasonlythreeorfourfeetofwaterinourcistern，andHankwasn"tinscarcelyuptohisbighairychest。SowhenElmirasaysthecisternisfulloffish，thatwomanopensthetrapdoorandlooksin。Hankthinksit"sElmiracometogethimout。Heallowshe"llkeepquietinthereandmakebelieveheisdrownedandgiveheragoodscareandmakehersorryfurhim。Butwhenthecisterndoorisopened，hehearsalotofclackingtonguesallofasuddenliketheywasahenconventionon。
Heallowsshehastoldsomeoftheneighbours，andhe"llscarethemtoo。SoHank，helaidlow。
Andthewomanaslooksinseesnothing，forit"sasdarkdownthereastheinsidesofthewhalewhatswalleredNoah。Butsheleavesthedooropenandgoesona-makingtea，andtheyain"tskeerclyasoundfromthatcistern，onlylittle，ripplynoiseslikeitmighthavebeenfish。
Prettysoonawomansays：
“Ithasdrawed，Elmira；won"tyouhaveacup？”
Elmirashekickedsomemore，butshetookhern。
Andeachwomantookhern。Andonewoman，a-sippingofhern，shesays：
“Thedepartedhadhisgoodpints，Elmira。“
WhichwasthebestthinghadbeensaidofHankinthattownfuryearsandyears。
OldMis"Primrose，shealwayspridedherselfonbeinghonest，nomatterwhatcome，andsheupsandsays：
“Idon"tbelieveinnohippercriticsatatimelikethis，nomore"nnoothertime。Thedepartedwasn"tnogood，andthehulltownknowedit；andElmiraorterfeellikeit"sgoodriddanceofbadrubbishandthemismysentimentsandthesenti-
mentsofrightfulness。“
Alltheotherwomensingsout：
“W"y，MIS"PRIMROSE！Inever！”Andtheyseemedawfulshocked。Butdowninunderneathmoreofemagreedthanleton。Elmirashewipedhereyesandshesaid：
“Hennereyandmehashadourtroubles。Theyain"tanyuseindenyingthat，Mis"Primrose。Ithasoftenbeengiveandtakebetweenusandbetwixtus。Andthehulltownknowshehasliftedhishandaginmemore"noncet。ButIalwaysstooduptoHennerey，andIfithimback，freeandfairandopen。
Igivehimasgoodashesentonthishereearth，andIain"ttheonetocarrynoannermositiesbe-
yondthegrave。IforgiveHankalltheornerinesshedoneme，andtheywasalotofit，asisbecominguntoachurchmember，whichheneverwas。“
AndallthewomenbutMis"Primrose，theysays：
“ElmiraAppleton，youHAVEgotaChristiansperrit！”Whichdoneheraheapofgood，andshecriedconsiderableharder，leakingouttearsasfastasshepouredteain。EachoneonemtriestofindoutsomethinggoodtosayaboutHank，onlytheywasn"tmuchtheycouldsay。AndHankinthattherecisterna-listeningtoeverywordofit。
Mis"Rogers，shesays：
“Aforehetooktodrinkinglikeafish，HankWalterswasaslikelylookingayoungfellerasI
eversee。“
Mis"White，shesays：
“Well，Hankheneverwasastingyman，nohow。
OftenandoftenWhitehastoldmeaboutseeingHank，afterhe"dsoldapieceofland，treatingthehulltowndowninNolan"sbar-roomjestascome-
easy，go-easyasifitwasn"tmoneyheorterpaidhishonestdebtswith。“
Theysettherethat-a-waytellingofwhatgoodpintstheycouldthinkoffurtenminutes，andHanka-hearingitandgettingmadderandmadderallthetime。ThegineralopinionwasthatHankwasn"tnogoodandwasbetterdonefur，andnomatterwhattheysaidthemfeelingskep"stickingoutthroughthewords。
ByandbyTomAlexandercomebustingintothehouse，andhiswife，Mis"Alexander，waswithhim。
“What"sthematterwithallyoufolks，“hesays。
“Theyain"tnobodyhanginginthatthereblack-
smithshop。Ibrokethedoordownandwentin，anditwasempty。“
Thentheywasaprettyhowdy-do，andtheyallsingsout：
“Where"sthecorpse？”
Andsomethinksmebbysomeonehascutitdownandtookitaway，andallgabblestooncet。ButforaminutenoonethinksmebbylittleDannyhasbeeneggedontotelllies。LittleDannyain"tsayingaword。ButElmirashegrabsmeandshakesmeandshesays：
“Youlittleliar，you，whatdoyoumeanbythattaleyoutold？”
Ithinksthatlammingisaboutduenow。ButwhilstalleyesisturnedonmeandElmira，theycomesavoicefromthatcistern。ItisHank"svoice，andhesingsout：
“TomAlexander，isthatyou？”
Someofthewomenscream，forsomethinksitisHank"sghost。Butonewomansayswhatwouldaghostbedoinginacistern？
TomAlexander，helaughsandhesays：
“Whatinblazesyouwanttojumpintherefur，Hank？”
“Youdernijut！”saysHank，“youquitmockingmeandgetaladder，andwhenIgetout"nhereI"lllearnyoutoastwhatdidIwanttojumpinherefur！”
“Youneverseenthedayyoucoulddoit，“saysTomAlexander，meaningthedayhecouldlickhim。“Andifyoufeelthatwayaboutityoucanstaytherefurallofme。Iguessalittlewaterwon"thurtyounone。“Andheleftthehouse。
“Elmira，“singsoutHank，madandbossy，“yougogetmealadder！”
ButElmira，hertemperrizuptoo，allofasudden。
“Don"tyoudareordermearoundlikeIwasthedirtunderyourfeet，HennereyWalters，“shesays。
AtthatHankfairlyroared，hewassomad。Hesays：
“Elmira，whenIgetout"nhereI"llgiveyouwhatyouwon"tfergitinahurry。Ihearnyoua-forgivingmeanda-weepingoverme，andIwon"tbeforgivenorweepedoverbynoone！Yougoandgetthatladder。“
ButElmiraonlyanswers：
“Youwasn"tsoberwhenyoufellintothere，HennereyWalters。Andnowyoucanjeststayintheretillyougetabettertemperonyou！”Andallthewomensays：“That"sright，Elmira；spunkuptohim！”
Theywasconsiderablesplashingaroundinthewaterfuracoupleofminutes。Andthen，allofasudden，alivefishcomea-whirlingoutofthathole，whichhehadketcheditwithhishands。Itwasabigbullhead，anditswhiskersarounditsmouthwasstiffenedintospikes，anditlandskerplumpintoMis"Rogers"slap，a-wiggling，anditkindo"hornsheronthehands，andsheisthatsurprisedshefaints。
Mis"Primrose，shegetsupandpushesthatfishbackintothecisternwithherfootfromthefloorwhereithadfell，andshesaysrightdecided：
“ElmiraWalters，thatwasElmiraAppleton，ifyouletHankout"nthatcisternbeforehehassignedthepledgeandpromisedtojinethechurchyou"reabiggerfool"nItakeyoutobe。Awomanhasgottomakeastand！”Withthatshemarchesout"nourhouse。
Thenallthewomensingsout：
“SendfurBrotherCartwright！SendfurBrotherCartwright！”
Andtheysentmescootingacrosttowntogethimquick。WhichhewasthepreacheroftheBaptistchurchandlivednexttoit。AndIhadn"tgotnolammingyet！
CHAPTERII
Ineverstoppedtotellbuttwo，threefolksonthewaytoBrotherCartwright"s，buttheymustofspreaditquick。"CausewhenIgotbackhomewithhimitseemedlikethehulltownwasthere。Itwasalongaboutduskbythistime，anditwasaprayer-meetingnightatthechurch。Mr。Cartwrighttoldhiswifetotellthefolkswhatcometotheprayer-meetinghe"dbebackbeforelong，andtowaitfurhim。Whichshereallytoldthemwherehehadwent，andwhatfur。
Mr。Cartwrightmarchesrightintothekitchen。
Allthechairsinourhousewasintothekitchen，andthewomenwasa-talkinganda-laughing，andtheyhadsentovertoAlexandersesfortheirchairsandtoRogersesfortheirn。Everyoncetinawhiletheywouldbeaawfulbustoflanguagecomeupfromthatholewherethatunreginerateoldsinnerwascoopedupin。
Ihavetravelledaroundconsiderablesincethemdays，andIhavemixedupalongofmanykindsofpeopleinmanydifferentplaces，andsomeof"emwascusserstoadmire。ButIneverhearnsuchcussingbeforeorsinceasoldHankdonethatnight。
Hebustedhisownrecordsandrizhigher"nhisownwatermarksforprevioustimes。Iwasn"tnothingbutalittlekidthen，andskeerclyfittenfurtoad-
mirethefullbeautyofit。Theywasdeepdowncusses，thatcomefromtheheart。Lookingbackatitafteralltheseyears，IcanbelievewhatBrotherCartwrightsaidhimselfthatnight，thatitwasn"tnatcheralcussingandsomehigherpower，likeademonoraevilsperrit，mustofenteredintoHank"shumancarkisandgivethatturribleeloquencetohisremarks。Itbustedouteveryfewminutes，andthewomenwouldputtheirfingersintotheirearstillaspellwasover。Anditwaspersonal，too。
Hank，hewouldlistenuntilhehearnawoman"svoicethatheknowed，andthenhewouldletlooseonherfambly，goingbackwardstohergrandfathersanddownwardstoherchildren"schildren。Ifherfatherhadoncestolenahog，orherhusbanddoneanydisgracethatgotfoundoutonhim，Hankwouldputitallintohisgineralremarks，withtrimmingsontoit。
BrotherCartwright，hestepsuptotheholeinthefloorwhenhefirstcomesinandhesays，gentle-
likeandsoothing，likeaundertakerwhenhetellsyouwheretosetatahomefuneral：
“BrotherWalters。“
“Brother！”Hankyellsout，“don"tyebrotherme，yousniffling，psalm-singing，yaller-faced，pigeon-toedhippercrit，you！Getmealadder，goldernyou，andI"llcomeout"nhereandlearnyoutobrotherme，Iwill。“Onlythatwasn"tnothingtowhatHankreallysaidtothatpreacher；
nomorelikeitthanalittleyaller，fluffycanaryislikeabuzzard。
“BrotherWalters，“saysthepreacher，ca"ambutfirm，“wehavealldecidedthatyouain"tgoingtocomeoutofthatcisterntillyousignthepledge。“
AndHanktellshimwhathethinksofpledgesandhimandchurchdoings，anditwasn"tpurty。Andhesaysifhewasasdeepineternalfireaswhathenowisinrain-water，andeveryfishthatnibblesathistoeswasapreacherwithared-hotpitchforka-jabbingathim，theycouldjabtillthehullhere-
afterturnedintosnowaforehe"deversignnothingamanlikeMr。Cartwrightgivehimtosign。Hankwasstubbornerthananymuleheevernailedshoesonto，andproudofbeingthatstubborn。Thattownwasaawfulreligioustown，andHankheknowedhewascalledthemostonreligiousmaninit，andhewasproudofthattoo；andifanyonecalledhimaheathenitjestplumbtickledhimallover。
“BrotherWalters，“saysthatpreacher，“wearegoingtoprayforyou。“
Andtheydoneit。Theybroughtallthemchairscloseuparoundthatcistern，inaring，andtheyallkneeleddownthere，withtheirheadson"em，andtheyprayedfurHank"ssalvation。Theydoneitupinstyle，too，oneatatime，andtheotherssingingout，“Amen！”everynowandthen，andtheyshedtearsdownontoHank。Thefrontyardwascrowdedwithmen，alla-laughinganda-talkingandchawingandspittingtobaccoandbettinghowlongHankwouldholdout。OldSiEmery，thatwasthecitymarshal，andalwaysworeabignickel-
platedstar，wasouttherewith"em。Siwasinasweat，"causeBillNolan，thatrunthebar-room，andsomemoreofHank"sfriends，orasnearfriendsashehad，wasoutintheroad。TheysaystoSihemustarrestthatpreacher，furHankisbeinggradualmurderedinthattherewater，andhe"lldieifhe"shelttheretoolong，anditwillbeacrime。
Onlytheydidn"tcomeintotheyardtosayitamongstusreligiousfolks。ButSi，hesayshedassentarrestnoonebecauseitisoutsidethetowncopperation；buthe"sconsiderableworriedtooaboutwhathisdutyorterbe。
PrettysoonthegangthatMrs。Cartwrighthasroundedupattheprayer-meetingcomesstringingalongin。Theyhadallbrungtheirhymnbookswiththem，andtheysung。Thehulltownwastherethen，andtheyallsung，andtheysungre-
vivalhymnsoverHank。AndHankhewouldjestcussandcuss。Everytimehebustedoutintoanothercussingspelltheywouldstartanotherhymn。Finallythemenoutinthefrontyardgotwarmeduptoo，andbeguntosing，allbutBillNolan"scrowd，andtheygiveHankupforlostandwentawaydisgusted。
Thefirstthingyouknowedtheywasareg"larrevivalmeetingthere，andthatpreacherwaspreachingareg"larrevivalsermon。Ibeentomore"nonecampmeeting，butfurjestnatcherallytakingholtofthehullhumanracebytheslackofitspantsanddanglingofitoverhell-fire，Ineverhearnnothingcouldcomeuptothattheresermon。
Twoorthreeoldbackslidersinthecrowdcomerightupandrepentedalloveraginonthespot。Thehullkitandbilingof"emgotthepowergoodandhard，liketheydoesatcampmeetingsandrevivals。
ButHank，heonlycussed。Hewasobstinate，Hankwas，andhisprideanddanderhadrizup。
Finallyhesays：
“You"retakingaornery，low-downadvantageo"me，youare。Letmeout"nthisherecisternandI"llshowyouwho"llstickitoutlongestondryland，dernyourreligioushides！”
Someofthefolkstherehadn"thadnosuppers，soafteralltheothersinnersbutHankhadeithergotconvertedorelsesneakedaway，someofthewomensayswhynotmakeakindoflovefeastoutofit，andbringsomevittles，liketheydoestochurchsociables。BecauseitseemslikelySatanisgoingtowrastleallnightlong，likehedonewiththeangelJacob，andtheyoughttobeprepared。
Sotheydoneit。TheywentandtheycomebackwithvittlesandtheymadeuphotcoffeeandtheyfeastedthatpreacherandtheirselvesandElmiraandme，allrightinHank"shearing。
AndHankwasgettinghungryhimself。Andhewascoldinthatwater。Andthefishwasnibblingathim。Andhewasgettingcussedoutandweakandsoakedfullofdespair。Andtheywasn"tnowayfurhimtosetdownandrest。Andhewasscaredofgettingacrampinhislegs，andsinkingdownwithhisheadunderwaterandbeingdrownded。
Hesaidafterwardhe"dofdonethelastwithpleasureiftheywasanywayofsuingthatcrowdfurmurder。
Soalongaboutteno"clockhesingsout：
“Igivein，goshdernye！Igivein。LetmeoutandI"llsignyourpeskypledge！”
BrotherCartwrightwasfurgettingaladderandlettinghimclimboutrightaway。ButElmira，shesays：
“Don"tyoudoit，BrotherCartwright；don"tyoudoit。Youdon"tknowHankWalterslikeI
does。Ifheoncetgetsouto"therebeforehe"ssignedthatpledge，hewon"tneversignit。“
SotheyfixeditupthatBrotherCartwrightwastowriteoutapledgeontheinsideleafoftheBible，andtietheBibleontoastring，andaleadpencilontoanotherstring，andletthestringsdowntoHank，andhewastomakehismark，furhecouldn"twrite，andtheywastobepulledupagin。Hank，hesaysallright，andtheydoneit。ButjestasHankwasmakinghismarkontheleafofthebook，thatpreacherdonewhatIhasalwaysthoughtwasameantrick。Hewaslyingonthefloorwithhisheadandshouldersintothatholeasfurashecould，holdingalanternwaydownintoit，soasHankcouldsee。AndjestasHankmadethatmarkhespokesomewordsoverhim，andthenhesays：
“Now，HenryWalters，Ihavebaptizedyou，andyouareamemberofthechurch。“
You"dathoughtHankwouldofbrokeoutcussingaginatbeingtookunexpectedthat-a-way，furhehadn"treallyagreedtonothingbutsigningthepledge。Butnaryacuss。Hejestsays：“Now，yougetthatladder。“
Theygotit，andheclumbupintothekitchen，drippingandshivering。
“Youwentandbaptizedmeinthatwater？”
heaststhepreacher。Thepreachersayshehas。
“Then，“saysHank，“youdonealow-downtrickonme。YouknowedIhasmademybragsIneverjinednochurchnorneverwouldjine。YouknowedIwasproudofthat。Youknowedthatitwasmyglorytotellofit，andthatIsetaheapofstorebyitineveryway。Andnowyou"vewentandtookitawayfromme！Youneverfoughtitoutfairandsquare，neither，manplayingtooutlastman，likeyoudonewiththisherepledge，butyousneakeditinonmewhenIwasn"tlooking。“
Theywasalotofmeninthatcrowdthatthoughtthepreacherhadwenttoofar，andsympathizedwithHank。ThewayhedoneaboutthathurtBrotherCartwrightinourtown，andtheywasasplitinthechurch，becausesomesaiditwasn"treg"larandwasn"tbinding。Helosthisjobafterawhileandbecomeanevangelist。Whichitdon"tmakenodifferencewhatoneofthemdoes，nohow。
ButHank，healwaysthoughthehadbeenbap-
tizedreg"lar。Andheneverwasthesameafter-
ward。Hehadmadehislife-longbrags，andhispridewasbrokeinthatthereonepertic"lerspot。
Andhesorreredandgrievedoveritagood"eal，andgotgrouchierandgrouchierandmeanerandmeaner，andlickeredoftener，ifanything。Signingthepledgecouldn"tholdHank。Hewasworseineverywayafterthatnightinthecistern，andtooktolammingmeharderandharder。
CHAPTERIII
Well，allthelammingsHanklaidonneverdonemeanygood。ItseemedlikeIwasjestnatcherallycutouttohavenosuccessinlife，andnoamountofwhalingcouldchangeit，thoughHank，hewasfaithful。BeforeIwastwelveyearsoldthehulltownhadseenit，andtheywasn"tnothingelseexpectedofmeexceptnottobeanygood。
Thathaditshandysidestoit，too。Theywaslotsofkidstherethathadtogotoschool，butHank，heneverwouldofletmedonethatifIhadasthim，andIneverasted。Andtheywaslotsofkidsconsiderablybotheredallthetimewiththeirparentsandrelations。Theymade"emgotoSundaySchool，andwashupreg"laralloveronSaturdaynights，andputonshoesandstockingspartofthetime，eveninthesummer，andsomeof"emhadtoasttogoinswimming，andthehullthingwasacontinuoustroubleandprivationto"em。
Buttheywasn"tnothingperdictedofme，andI
donelikeitwasperdicted。Everybody"lowedfromthestartthatHankwouldofmadetrashout"nme，evenifIhadn"tshowedallthesignsofbeingtrashanyhow。Andiftheywasdevilmentanywhereaboutthattowntheyallsays，“Danny，hedoneit。“AndlikeasnotIhas。SoIgetstobewhatyoumightcallanoutcast。Allthekidswhosefolksain"ttrash，theirmotherstells"emnottorunwithmenomore。Whichtheydoneitallthemorefurthatreason，onthesly，anditmakesmemoreimportantwiththem。
ButwhenIgetsalittlebigger，allthatmakesmefeelkindo"badsometimes。Itain"tsohandythen。Furfolksgetstosaying，whenIwouldcomearound：
“Danny，whatdoYOUwant？”
AndifIsays，“Nothing，“theywouldsay：
“Well，then，yougetouto"here！”
Whichtheyneedn"tofbeensuspicioningnothingliketheypertendedtheydid，furIneverstolenothingmore"nwortermillionsandmushmillionsandsuchtruck，andmebbynowandthenachickenuskidsusetoroastinthewoodsonSundays，andjestaslikeasnotitwasoneofHank"shensthen，whichIfiggeredI"dearntit。
FurHank，hehadstreakswhenhe"dworkmeconsiderablehard。Henevergivemeanymoneyfurit。Heloafedalottoo，andwhenhe"dloafI"dloaf。ButIdidpickuprightsmartofhandinesswithtoolsaroundthatthereshopofhis"n，andifhe"deverofusedmerightImightofturnedintoapurtyfairblacksmith。Butitwasn"tnousetryingtoworkfurHank。WhenIwasaboutfifteen，timesisrightbadaroundthehousefuraspell，andElmiraisworkingpurtyhard，andIthinkstomyself：
“Well，thesefolkshaskindo"brungyouup，andyouain"tneverdonemore"nHankmadeyoudo。Mebbyyouortersticktoworkalittlemorewhenthey"sajobintheshop，evenifHankdon"t。“
WhichItrieditfurabouttwoorthreeyears，doingasmuchworkaroundtheshopasHankdoneandmebbymore。Butitwasn"tnouse。OnedaywhenI"mabouteighteen，IseenawfulplainI"llhavetolightoutfromthere。Theywasacircuscometotownthatday。IsaystoHank：
“Hank，theyisacircusthisafternoonandaginto-night。“
“SoIhashearn，“saysHank。
“Areyougoingtoit？”saysI。
“Imout，“saysHank，“andthenaginImoutn"t。
Idon"tseeasit"snoconsarnsofyourn，nohow。“
Iknowedhewasgoing，though。Hank，henevermissedacircus。
“Well，“Isays，“theywasn"tnoharmtoast，wasthey？”
“Well，you"veasted，ain"tyou？”saysHank。
“Well，then，“saysI，“I"dliketogotothattherecircusmyself。“
“Theyain"tnouseinmesayingfuryounottogo，“saysHank，“furyouwouldgoanyhow。Youalwaysdoesgooffwhenyouisneeded。“
“ButIain"tgotnomoney，“Isays，“andIwasgoingtoastyoucouldyousparemehalfadollar？”
“GreatJehosephat！”saysHank，“butain"tyougettingstuckup！What"sthematterofyoucrawlinginunderthetentlikeyoualwaysdone？
FirstthingIknowyou"llbewantingapairofthesehereyallershoesandastove-pipehat。“
“No，“saysI，“Iain"tnodude，Hank，andyouknowit。Buttheyisalwaysthingsaboutacircustospendmoneyonbesidesjestthecircusherself。
Theyisthesideshow，furinstance，andtheyisthegrandconcertafterward。IcalkelatedI"dtake"emallinthisyear——thehulldernthing，jestfuroncet。“
Hank，helooksatmelikeI"dastedfurahouse"n"
lot，oramilliondollars，orsomethinglikethat。Buthedon"tsaynothing。Hejestsnorts。
“Hank，“Isays，“Ibeendoingrightsmartworkaroundtheshopfurtwo，threeyearsnow。Ifyouwasn"tloafingsomuchyou"danoticeditmore。
AndIain"tneverastfuracentofpayfurit，nor——“
“Youain"twuthnopay，“saysHank。“Youain"twuthnothingbuttoeatvittlesandwearoutclothes。“
“Well，“Isays，“IfiggerIearnmyvittlesandagood"ealmore。Andasfurasclothesgoes，IneverhadnonebutwhatElmiramadeout"nyourn。“
“Whobrungyouup？”astsHank。
“Youdoneit，“saysI，“andbyyourownsay-soyoudoneadernpoorjobatit。“
“Yougotothattherecircus，“saysHank，a-flaringup，“andI"lllambasteyouuptoainchofyourlife。
Sofurashandingoutmoneyfuryoutoslingittothedogs，Iain"tnobank，andifIwasIain"tnoijut。Butyoujestletmehearofyouevengoingnighthatcircuslotandallthelammingsyouhasevergot，rolledintoone，won"tbeameaslylittlesarcumstancetowhatyouWILLget。Theyain"tnoleather-facedyoungupstartwithweepin"-willowhailgoingtothrowuptomehowIbrunghimup。
That"sgratitoodfuryou，thatis！”saysHank。“Ifithadn"tofbeenfurmegivingyouahomewhenI
foundyoufirst，wherewouldyouofbeennow？”
“Well，“Isays，“Imightofbeenagood"ealbetteroff。Ifyouhadn"toftookmeintheAlexan-
derseswouldof，andthenIwouldn"tofbeenkep"outofschoolandgrowedupaignoramuslikeyouis。“
“Ineverhadnotroublekeepingyouawayfromschool，Inotice，“saysHank，withasnort。“ThisisthefirstIeverhearnofyouwantingtogothere。“
Whichwastrueinoneway，andalieinanother。
Ihadn"tneverwantedtogotilllately，buthe"doflammedmeifIhadofwantedto。Healwayssaidhewould。AndnowIwastoobigandknowedit。
Well，Hank，henevergivemenomoney，soI
watchesmychancetthatafternoonandslipsinunderthetentthesameasalways。AndIlayslowunderthemgreenbenchesandwiggledthroughwhenIseenagoodchancet。ThefirstpersonI
seenwasHank。Ofcourseheseenme，andheshookhisfistatmeinapromisingkindofway，andtheywasn"tnotroublefiggeringoutwhathemeant。FurawhileIdidn"tenjoythatcircustonoextent。FurIwasthinkingthatifHanktriestolickmefuritI"llfighthimbackthistime，whichIhadn"tneverfithimbackmuchyetfurfearhe"dpickupsomethingironaroundtheshopandjestnatcherallylaymecoldwithit。
IgothomebeforeHankdid。Itwasnighsun-
down，andIwaswaitinginthedooroftheshopfurElmiratohollervittlesisready，andHankcomealong。Hedidn"twastenotime。Hestepsinsidetheshopandhetakesdownastrapandhesays：
“Youcomehereandtakeoffyourshirt。“
ButIjestmovesaway。Hank，herunsinonme，andheswingshisstrap。Ithrowedupmyarm，anditcutmeacrosttheknuckles。Iruninonhim，andhedroppedthestrapandfetchedmeanopen-
handedsmackplumbonthemouththatjarredmyheadbackandliketoofbusteditloose。ThenI
gotrightmad，andIruninonhimagin，andthistimeIgottohim，andwrastledwithhim。
Well，sir，Ineverwassosurprisedinallmylifebefore。FurIhadn"thadholtonhimmore"naminutebeforeIseenI"mstrongerthanHankis。
Ithrowedhim，andhehitthegroundwithcon-
siderableofajar，andthenIputmykneeinthepitofhisstomachandchurneditacouple。AndIthinkstomyselfwhatafoolImustofbeenfurbetter"nayear，becauseImightofdonethisanytime。IgothimbytheearsandIslammedhisheadintothegravelafewtimes，hima-reachingfurmythroat，anda-poundingmewithhisfists，butmea-takingthelicksandkeepingholt。AndIhadamightycontentedtimefurafewminutesthereontopofHank，chucklingtomyself，andbattinghimoneeverynowandthenfurluck，andtryingtomakehimhollerit"senough。ButHankisstubbornandhewon"tholler。AndpurtysoonIthinks，whatamIgoingtodo？FurHankwillbesomadwhenIlethimuphe"lljestnatcherallykillme，withoutIkillhim。AndIwasscared，becauseIdon"twantneitheroneofthemthingstohappen。WhilstIwasthinkingitover，andgettingscarederandscareder，andbangingHank"sheadharderandharder，someonegrabsmefrombehind。
Theywastwoofthem，andonegetsmycollarandonegetstheseatofmypants，andtheydrugmeoff"nhim。Hank，hegetsup，andthenhesetsdownsuddenonahorseblockandwipeshisfaceonhissleeve，whichtheywasconsiderablebloodcomeontothesleeve。
Ilooksaroundtoseewhohashadholtofme，anditistwomen。Oneofthemlooksaboutsevenfeettall，onaccountofabigplughatandalongwhitelinenduster，andhasabeautifulredbeard。Intheroadtheyisabigstoutroadwagon，withacanopytopoverit，pulledbytwohosses，andonthewagonboxtheyisastripofcanvas。WhichIcouldn"treadthenwhatwaswroteonthecanvas，butI
learntlateritsaid，inbigprint：
SIWASHINDIANSAGRAW。
NATURE"SUNIVERSALMEDICINALSPECIFIC。
DISCOVEREDBYDR。HARTLEYL。KIRBY
AMONGTHEABORIGINESOFOREGON。
Onaccountofbeingsobusy，neitherHanknormehadhearnthewagoncomealongtheroadandstop。Thebigmanintheplughat，hesays，ortheywaswordstothateffect，jestasserious：
“Whyareyoumaulingtheagedgent？”
“Well，“saysI，“heneededitconsiderable。“
“But，“sayshe，stillmoresolemn，“thegoodbooksaystohonourthyfatherandthymother。“
“Well，“Isays，“mebbyitdoesandmebbyitdon"t。ButHEain"tmyfather，nohow。Andheain"tbeengettingnomore"nhiscome-uppings。“
“Vengeanceismine，saiththeLord，“thebigmanremarks，veryserious。Hank，herizupthen，andhesays：
“Mister，beyouapreacher？"Causeifyoube，thesooneryouhavedruvon，thebetterfurye。
Igotagrudgeaginallpreachers。“
Thatfeller，hejestlooksHankoverca"amandeasyandslowbeforeheanswers，andhewrinklesuphisfacelikeheneverseenanythinglikeHankbefore。Thenhefetchesakindo"aggervatingsmile，andhesays：
“BeneathashadychestnuttreeThevillageblacksmithstands。
Thesmith，apleasantsoulisheWithwartsuponhishands——“
HestaresatHankhardandsolemnandseriouswhileheissayingthatpoetryathim。Hankfidgetsandturnshiseyesaway。Butthefellertoucheshimonthebreastwithhisfinger，andmakeshimlookathim。
“Myhonestfriend，“saysthefeller，“IamNOT
apreacher。Notrightnow，anyhow。No！Mymissionisspreadingthegladtidingsofgoodhealth。
Lookatme，“andheswellshischestup，andkeepsa-holtofHank"seyeswithhis"n。“Youbeholdbeforeyouthediscoverer，manufacturer，andproprietorofSiwashIndianSagraw，nature"sownremedyforBright"sDisease，rheumatism，liverandkidneytrouble，catarrh，consumption，bronchitis，ring-worm，erysipelas，lungfever，typhoid，croup，dandruff，stomachtrouble，dyspepsia——“Andtheywasalotmoreof"em。
“Well，“saysHank，sorto"backingupasthebigmancomenearerandnearertohim，jestnatcherallybully-ragginghimwiththemeyes，“Igotnoneofthemtherecomplaints。“
Thedoctorhekindo"snarls，andhebringshishanddownhardonHank"sshoulder，andhesays：
“TherearemorethingsbetwixtDanandBeer-
shebathanwaseverdreamtofinthysagacity，Romeo！”Ortheywaswordstothateffect，furthatdoctorwasjestplumbfullofScripterquota-
tions。Andhesingsoutsudden，givingHankashovethatnearlypusheshimover：“Manalive！”
heyells，“youDON"TKNOWwhatdiseaseyoumayhave！
Many"sthestrongmanI"veseenrejoicinginhisstrengthatthedawnofdaycutdownlikethegrassinthefieldbeforesunset，“hesays。
Hank，he"stryingtolooktheotherway，butthatdoctorwon"tlethiseyeswiggleawayfromhis"n。
Hesaysverysharp：
“Stickoutyourtongue！”
Hank，hesticksherout。
Thedoctor，hetakessomeglassesout"nhispocketandputs"emon，andhefetchesalonglookather。
Thenheopenshismouthlikehewasgoingtosaysomething，andshutsitaginlikehisfeelingswon"tlethim。HeputshisarmacrossHank"sshoulderaffectionateandsad，andthenheturnshisheadawayliketheywassomeonedeadinthefambly。
Finally，hesays：
“Ithoughtso。Isawit。IsawitinyoureyeswhenIfirstdroveup。Ihope，“hesays，verymournful，“Ihaven"tcometoolate！”
Hank，heturnspale。IwasgettingsorryfurHankmyself。IseennowwhyIlickedhimsoeasy。Anyonecouldoftoldfromthatdoctor"sactionsHankwasasgoodasadeadmanalready。
ButHank，hemakesabigeffort，andhesays：
“Shucks！I"msixty-eightyearsold，doctor，andIhain"tneverhadasickdayinmylife。“Buthewasawfuluneasytoo。
Thedoctor，hesaystothefellerwithhim：
“Looey，bringmeoneofthesamplesize。“
Looeybrungit，thedoctornevertakinghiseyesoff"nHank。HehandedittoHank，andhesays：
“Awhiskeyglassfullthreetimesaday，myfriend，andthereisagoodchanceforevenyou。
Igiveittoyou，withoutmoneyandwithoutprice。“
“ButwhathaveIgot？”astsHank。
“Youhavespinalmeningitis，“saysthedoctor，neverbattinganeye。
“Willthisherecureme？”saysHank。
“It"llcureANYTHING，“saysthedoctor。
Hankhesays，“Shucks，“agin，buthetookthebottleandpulledthecorkoutandsmeltit，rightthoughtful。Andwhatthemfellershadstoppedatourplacefurwastohavetheshoeofthenighhoss"soffhindfootnailedon，whichitwasmostreadytodropoff。Hank，hedoneitfuraregula-
tion，dollar-sizebottleandtheydruvonintothevillage。
RightaftersupperIgoesdowntown。TheywasinfrontofSmith"sPalaceHotel。TheywasjeststartingupwhenIgotthere。Well，sir，thatdoctorwasasight。Hedidn"thavehisdusterontohim，buthisstove-pipehatwas，andoneofthemlongPrinceAlferdcoatsnearlytohisknees，andshinyshoes，buthisvestwascutouthollerfurtoshowhisbiledshirt，anditwasthepinkestshirtIeversee，andinthemiddleofthattheywasadia-
mondasbigasUnclePatHickey"swen，whatwasoneofthetownsights。No，sir；theyneverwasamanwithmoregenuinefashionablenessstickingoutalloverhimthanDoctorKirby。Hejestfairlywalleredinit。