第4章
But，come！Thesunishasteningwestward，whilethemarchofhumanlife，thatneverpausedbefore，isdelayedbyourattempttorearrangeitsorder。Itisdesirabletofindsomecomprehensiveprinciple，thatshallrenderourtaskeasierbybringingthousandsintotherankswherehithertowehavebroughtone。Thereforeletthetrumpet，ifpossible，splititsbrazenthroatwithaloudernotethanever，andtheheraldsummonallmortals，who，fromwhatevercause，havelost，orneverfound，theirproperplacesinthewold。
Obedienttothiscall，agreatmultitudecometogether，mostofthemwithalistlessgait，betokeningwearinessofsoul，yetwithagleamofsatisfactionintheirfaces，ataprospectofatlengthreachingthosepositionswhich，hitherto，theyhavevainlysought。Butherewillbeanotherdisappointment；forwecanattemptnomorethanmerelytoassociateinonefraternityallwhoareafflictedwiththesamevaguetrouble。Somegreatmistakeinlifeisthechiefconditionofadmittanceintothisclass。
Herearemembersofthelearnedprofessions，whomProvidenceendowedwithspecialgiftsfortheplough，theforge，andthewheelbarrow，orfortheroutineofunintellectualbusiness。Wewillassigntothem，aspartnersinthemarch，thoselowlylaborersandhandicraftsmen，whohavepined，aswithadyingthirst，aftertheunattainablefountainsofknowledge。Thelatterhavelostlessthantheircompanions；yetmore，becausetheydeemitinfinite。Perchancethetwospeciesofunfortunatesmaycomfortoneanother。HereareQuakerswiththeinstinctofbattleinthem；andmenofwarwhoshouldhavewornthebroadbrim。
AuthorsshallberankedherewhomsomefreakofNature，makinggameofherpoorchildren，hadimbuedwiththeconfidenceofgeniusandstrongdesireoffame，buthasfavoredwithnocorrespondingpower；andothers，whoseloftygiftswereunaccompaniedwiththefacultyofexpression，oranyofthatearthlymachinerybywhichetherealendowmentsmustbemanifestedtomankind。Allthese，therefore，aremelancholylaughing-stocks。
Next，herearehonestandwellintentionedpersons，whobyawantoftact——byinaccurateperceptions——byadistortingimagination——havebeenkeptcontinuallyatcrosspurposeswiththeworldandbewildereduponthepathoflife。Letusseeiftheycanconfinethemselveswithinthelineofourprocession。Inthisclass，likewise，wemustassignplacestothosewhohaveencounteredthatworstofillsuccess，ahigherfortunethantheirabilitiescouldvindicate；writers，actors，painters，thepetsofaday，butwhoselaurelswitherunrenewedamidtheirhoaryhair；politicians，whomsomemaliciouscontingencyofaffairshasthrustintoconspicuousstation，where，whiletheworldstandsgazingatthem，thedrearyconsciousnessofimbecilitymakesthemcursetheirbirthhour。Tosuchmen，wegiveforacompanionhimwhoseraretalents，whichperhapsrequireaRevolutionfortheirexercise，areburiedinthetombofsluggishcircumstances。
Notfarfromthese，wemustfindroomforonewhosesuccesshasbeenofthewrongkind；themanwhoshouldhavelingeredinthecloistersofauniversity，diggingnewtreasuresoutoftheHerculaneumofantiquelore，diffusingdepthandaccuracyofliteraturethroughouthiscountry，andthusmakingforhimselfagreatandquietfame。Buttheoutwardtendenciesaroundhimhaveprovedtoopowerfulforhisinwardnature，andhavedrawnhimintothearenaofpoliticaltumult，theretocontendatdisadvantage，whetherfronttofront，orsidebyside，withthebrawnygiantsofactuallife。Hebecomes，itmaybe，anameforbrawlingpartiestobandytoandfro，alegislatoroftheUnion；
agovernorofhisnativestate；anambassadortothecourtsofkingsorqueens；andtheworldmaydeemhimamanofhappystars。
Butnotsothewise；andnotsohimself，whenhelooksthroughhisexperience，andsighstomissthatfitness，theoneinvaluabletouchwhichmakesallthingstrueandreal。Somuchachieved，yethowabortiveishislife！Whomshallwechooseforhiscompanion？Someweakframedblacksmith，perhaps，whosedelicacyofmusclemighthavesuitedatailor"sshopboardbetterthantheanvil。
Shallwebidthetrumpetsoundagain？Itishardlyworththewhile。Thereremainafewidlemenoffortune，tavernandgrog-shoploungers，lazzaroni，oldbachelors，decayingmaidens，andpeopleofcrookedintellectortemper，allofwhommayfindtheirlike，orsometolerableapproachtoit，intheplentifuldiversityofourlatterclass。Theretoo，ashisultimatedestiny，mustwerankthedreamer，who，allhislifelong，hascherishedtheideathathewaspeculiarlyaptforsomething，butnevercoulddeterminewhatitwas；andtherethemostunfortunateofmen，whosepurposeithasbeentoenjoylife"spleasures，buttoavoidamanfulstrugglewithitstoilandsorrow。Theremainder，ifany，mayconnectthemselveswithwhateverrankoftheprocessiontheyshallfindbestadaptedtotheirtastesandconsciences。Theworstpossiblefatewouldbetoremainbehind，shiveringinthesolitudeoftime，whilealltheworldisonthemovetowardseternity。Ourattempttoclassifysocietyisnowcomplete。Theresultmaybeanythingbutperfect；yetbetter——togiveittheverylowestpraise——thantheantiqueruleoftheherald"soffice，orthemodernoneofthetax-gatherer，wherebytheaccidentsandsuperficialattributeswithwhichtherealnatureofindividualshasleasttodo，areacteduponasthedeepestcharacteristicsofmankind。Ourtaskisdone！Nowletthegrandprocessionmove！
Yetpauseawhile！WehadforgottentheChiefMarshal。
Hark！Thatworld-wideswellofsolemnmusic，withtheclangofamightybellbreakingforththroughitsregulateduproar，announceshisapproach。Hecomes；asevere，sedate，immovable，darkrider，wavinghistruncheonofuniversalsway，ashepassesalongthelengthenedline，onthepalehorseoftheRevelation。
ItisDeath！Whoelsecouldassumetheguidanceofaprocessionthatcomprehendsallhumanity？Andifsome，amongthesemanymillions，shoulddeemthemselvesclassedamiss，yetletthemtaketotheirheartsthecomfortabletruththatDeathlevelsusallintoonegreatbrotherhood，andthatanotherstateofbeingwillsurelyrectifythewrongofthis。Thenbreathethywailupontheearth"swailingwind，thoubandofmelancholymusic，madeupofeverysighthatthehumanheart，unsatisfied，hasuttered！Thereisyettriumphinthytones。Andnowwemove！Beggarsintheirrags，andKingstrailingtheregalpurpleinthedust；theWarrior"sgleaminghelmet；thePriestinhissablerobe；thehoaryGrandsire，whohasrunlife"scircleandcomebacktochildhood；theruddySchool-boywithhisgoldencurls，friskingalongthemarch；theArtisan"sstuffjacket；theNoble"sstar-decoratedcoat；——thewholepresentingamotleyspectacle，yetwithaduskygrandeurbroodingoverit。Onward，onward，intothatdimnesswherethelightsofTimewhichhaveblazedalongtheprocession，areflickeringintheirsockets！Andwhither！Weknownot；andDeath，hithertoourleader，desertsusbythewayside，asthetrampofourinnumerablefootstepsechoesbeyondhissphere。Heknowsnot，morethanwe，ourdestinedgoal。ButGod，whomadeus，knows，andwillnotleaveusonourtoilsomeanddoubtfulmarch，eithertowanderininfiniteuncertainty，orperishbytheway！
FEATHERTOP:AMORALIZEDLEGEND
“Dickon，“criedMotherRigby，“acoalformypipe！“
Thepipewasintheolddame"smouthwhenshesaidthesewords。
Shehadthrustitthereafterfillingitwithtobacco，butwithoutstoopingtolightitatthehearth，whereindeedtherewasnoappearanceofafirehavingbeenkindledthatmorning。
Forthwith，however，assoonastheorderwasgiven，therewasanintenseredglowoutofthebowlofthepipe，andawhiffofsmokecamefromMotherRigby"slips。Whencethecoalcame，andhowbroughtthitherbyaninvisiblehand，Ihaveneverbeenabletodiscover。
“Good！“quothMotherRigby，withanodofherhead。“Thankye，Dickon！Andnowformakingthisscarecrow。Bewithincall，Dickon，incaseIneedyouagain。“
Thegoodwomanhadrisenthusearly(forasyetitwasscarcelysunrise)inordertosetaboutmakingascarecrow，whichsheintendedtoputinthemiddleofhercorn-patch。ItwasnowthelatterweekofMay，andthecrowsandblackbirdshadalreadydiscoveredthelittle，green，rolledupleafoftheIndiancornjustpeepingoutofthesoil。Shewasdetermined，therefore，tocontriveaslifelikeascarecrowaseverwasseen，andtofinishitimmediately，fromtoptotoe，sothatitshouldbeginitssentinel"sdutythatverymorning。NowMotherRigby(aseverybodymusthaveheard)wasoneofthemostcunningandpotentwitchesinNewEngland，andmight，withverylittletrouble，havemadeascarecrowuglyenoughtofrightentheministerhimself。
Butonthisoccasion，asshehadawakenedinanuncommonlypleasanthumor，andwasfurtherdulcifiedbyherpipetobacco，sheresolvedtoproducesomethingfine，beautiful，andsplendid，ratherthanhideousandhorrible。
“Idon"twanttosetupahobgoblininmyowncorn-patch，andalmostatmyowndoorstep，“saidMotherRigbytoherself，puffingoutawhiffofsmoke；“IcoulddoitifIpleased，butI"mtiredofdoingmarvellousthings，andsoI"llkeepwithintheboundsofevery-daybusinessjustforvariety"ssake。Besides，thereisnouseinscaringthelittlechildrenforamileroundabout，though"tistrueI"mawitch。“
Itwassettled，therefore，inherownmind，thatthescarecrowshouldrepresentafinegentlemanoftheperiod，sofarasthematerialsathandwouldallow。Perhapsitmaybeaswelltoenumeratethechiefofthearticlesthatwenttothecompositionofthisfigure。
Themostimportantitemofall，probably，althoughitmadesolittleshow，wasacertainbroomstick，onwhichMotherRigbyhadtakenmanyanairygallopatmidnight，andwhichnowservedthescarecrowbywayofaspinalcolumn，or，astheunlearnedphraseit，abackbone。OneofitsarmswasadisabledflailwhichusedtobewieldedbyGoodmanRigby，beforehisspouseworriedhimoutofthistroublesomeworld；theother，ifImistakenot，wascomposedofthepuddingstickandabrokenrungofachair，tiedlooselytogetherattheelbow。Asforitslegs，therightwasahoehandle，andtheleftanundistinguishedandmiscellaneousstickfromthewoodpile。Itslungs，stomach，andotheraffairsofthatkindwerenothingbetterthanamealbagstuffedwithstraw。
Thuswehavemadeouttheskeletonandentirecorporosityofthescarecrow，withtheexceptionofitshead；andthiswasadmirablysuppliedbyasomewhatwitheredandshrivelledpumpkin，inwhichMotherRigbycuttwoholesfortheeyesandaslitforthemouth，leavingabluish-coloredknobinthemiddletopassforanose。
Itwasreallyquitearespectableface。
“I"veseenworseonesonhumanshoulders，atanyrate，“saidMotherRigby。“Andmanyafinegentlemanhasapumpkinhead，aswellasmyscarecrow。“
Buttheclothes，inthiscase，weretobethemakingoftheman。
Sothegoodoldwomantookdownfromapeganancientplum-coloredcoatofLondonmake，andwithrelicsofembroideryonitsseams，cuffs，pocket-flaps，andbutton-holes，butlamentablywornandfaded，patchedattheelbows，tatteredattheskirts，andthreadbareallover。Ontheleftbreastwasaroundhole，whenceeitherastarofnobilityhadbeenrentaway，orelsethehotheartofsomeformerwearerhadscorcheditthroughandthrough。TheneighborssaidthatthisrichgarmentbelongedtotheBlackMan"swardrobe，andthathekeptitatMotherRigby"scottagefortheconvenienceofslippingitonwheneverhewishedtomakeagrandappearanceatthegovernor"stable。Tomatchthecoattherewasavelvetwaistcoatofveryamplesize，andformerlyembroideredwithfoliagethathadbeenasbrightlygoldenasthemapleleavesinOctober，butwhichhadnowquitevanishedoutofthesubstanceofthevelvet。Nextcameapairofscarletbreeches，oncewornbytheFrenchgovernorofLouisbourg，andthekneesofwhichhadtouchedthelowerstepofthethroneofLouisleGrand。TheFrenchmanhadgiventhesesmall-clothestoanIndianpowwow，whopartedwiththemtotheoldwitchforagillofstrongwaters，atoneoftheirdancesintheforest。Furthermore，MotherRigbyproducedapairofsilkstockingsandputthemonthefigure"slegs，wheretheyshowedasunsubstantialasadream，withthewoodenrealityofthetwosticksmakingitselfmiserablyapparentthroughtheholes。
Lastly，sheputherdeadhusband"swigonthebarescalpofthepumpkin，andsurmountedthewholewithadustythree-corneredhat，inwhichwasstuckthelongesttailfeatherofarooster。
Thentheolddamestoodthefigureupinacornerofhercottageandchuckledtobeholditsyellowsemblanceofavisage，withitsnobbylittlenosethrustintotheair。Ithadastrangelyself-satisfiedaspect，andseemedtosay，“Comelookatme！“
“Andyouarewellworthlookingat，that"safact！“quothMotherRigby，inadmirationatherownhandiwork。“I"vemademanyapuppetsinceI"vebeenawitch，butmethinksthisisthefinestofthemall。"Tisalmosttoogoodforascarecrow。And，bytheby，I"lljustfillafreshpipeoftobaccoandthentakehimouttothecorn-patch。“
Whilefillingherpipetheoldwomancontinuedtogazewithalmostmotherlyaffectionatthefigureinthecorner。Tosaythetruth，whetheritwerechance，orskill，ordownrightwitchcraft，therewassomethingwonderfullyhumaninthisridiculousshape，bedizenedwithitstatteredfinery；andasforthecountenance，itappearedtoshrivelitsyellowsurfaceintoagrin——afunnykindofexpressionbetwixtscornandmerriment，asifitunderstooditselftobeajestatmankind。ThemoreMotherRigbylookedthebettershewaspleased。
“Dickon，“criedshesharply，“anothercoalformypipe！“
Hardlyhadshespoken，than，justasbefore，therewasared-glowingcoalonthetopofthetobacco。Shedrewinalongwhiffandpuffeditforthagainintothebarofmorningsunshinewhichstruggledthroughtheonedustypaneofhercottagewindow。
MotherRigbyalwayslikedtoflavorherpipewithacoaloffirefromtheparticularchimneycornerwhencethishadbeenbrought。
Butwherethatchimneycornermightbe，orwhobroughtthecoalfromit，——furtherthanthattheinvisiblemessengerseemedtorespondtothenameofDickon，——Icannottell。
“Thatpuppetyonder，“thoughtMotherRigby，stillwithhereyesfixedonthescarecrow，“istoogoodapieceofworktostandallsummerinacorn-patch，frighteningawaythecrowsandblackbirds。He"scapableofbetterthings。Why，I"vedancedwithaworseone，whenpartnershappenedtobescarce，atourwitchmeetingsintheforest！WhatifIshouldlethimtakehischanceamongtheothermenofstrawandemptyfellowswhogobustlingabouttheworld？“
Theoldwitchtookthreeorfourmorewhiffsofherpipeandsmiled。
“He"llmeetplentyofhisbrethrenateverystreetcorner！“
continuedshe。“Well；Ididn"tmeantodabbleinwitchcraftto-day，furtherthanthelightingofmypipe，butawitchIam，andawitchI"mlikelytobe，andthere"snousetryingtoshirkit。I"llmakeamanofmyscarecrow，wereitonlyforthejoke"ssake！“
Whilemutteringthesewords，MotherRigbytookthepipefromherownmouthandthrustitintothecrevicewhichrepresentedthesamefeatureinthepumpkinvisageofthescarecrow。
“Puff，darling，puff！“saidshe。“Puffaway，myfinefellow！yourlifedependsonit！“
Thiswasastrangeexhortation，undoubtedly，tobeaddressedtoamerethingofsticks，straw，andoldclothes，withnothingbetterthanashrivelledpumpkinforahead，——asweknowtohavebeenthescarecrow"scase。Nevertheless，aswemustcarefullyholdinremembrance，MotherRigbywasawitchofsingularpoweranddexterity；and，keepingthisfactdulybeforeourminds，weshallseenothingbeyondcredibilityintheremarkableincidentsofourstory。Indeed，thegreatdifficultywillbeatoncegotover，ifwecanonlybringourselvestobelievethat，assoonastheolddamebadehimpuff，therecameawhiffofsmokefromthescarecrow"smouth。Itwastheveryfeeblestofwhiffs，tobesure；butitwasfollowedbyanotherandanother，eachmoredecidedthantheprecedingone。
“Puffaway，mypet！puffaway，myprettyone！“MotherRigbykeptrepeating，withherpleasantestsmile。“Itisthebreathoflifetoye；andthatyoumaytakemywordfor。“
Beyondallquestionthepipewasbewitched。Theremusthavebeenaspelleitherinthetobaccoorinthefiercely-glowingcoalthatsomysteriouslyburnedontopofit，orinthepungently-aromaticsmokewhichexhaledfromthekindledweed。Thefigure，afterafewdoubtfulattemptsatlengthblewforthavolleyofsmokeextendingallthewayfromtheobscurecornerintothebarofsunshine。Thereiteddiedandmeltedawayamongthemotesofdust。Itseemedaconvulsiveeffort；forthetwoorthreenextwhiffswerefainter，althoughthecoalstillglowedandthrewagleamoverthescarecrow"svisage。Theoldwitchclappedherskinnyhandstogether，andsmiledencouraginglyuponherhandiwork。Shesawthatthecharmworkedwell。Theshrivelled，yellowface，whichheretoforehadbeennofaceatall，hadalreadyathin，fantastichaze，asitwereofhumanlikeness，shiftingtoandfroacrossit；sometimesvanishingentirely，butgrowingmoreperceptiblethaneverwiththenextwhifffromthepipe。Thewholefigure，inlikemanner，assumedashowoflife，suchasweimparttoill-definedshapesamongtheclouds，andhalfdeceiveourselveswiththepastimeofourownfancy。
Ifwemustneedsprycloselyintothematter，itmaybedoubtedwhethertherewasanyrealchange，afterall，inthesordid，wornoutworthless，andill-jointedsubstanceofthescarecrow；
butmerelyaspectralillusion，andacunningeffectoflightandshadesocoloredandcontrivedastodeludetheeyesofmostmen。
Themiraclesofwitchcraftseemalwaystohavehadaveryshallowsubtlety；and，atleast，iftheaboveexplanationdonothitthetruthoftheprocess，Icansuggestnobetter。
“Wellpuffed，myprettylad！“stillcriedoldMotherRigby。
“Come，anothergoodstoutwhiff，andletitbewithmightandmain。Puffforthylife，Itellthee！Puffoutoftheverybottomofthyheart，ifanyheartthouhast，oranybottomtoit！Welldone，again！Thoudidstsuckinthatmouthfulasifforthepureloveofit。“
Andthenthewitchbeckonedtothescarecrow，throwingsomuchmagneticpotencyintohergesturethatitseemedasifitmustinevitablybeobeyed，likethemysticcalloftheloadstonewhenitsummonstheiron。
“Whylurkestthouinthecorner，lazyone？“saidshe。“Stepforth！Thouhasttheworldbeforethee！“
Uponmyword，ifthelegendwerenotonewhichIheardonmygrandmother"sknee，andwhichhadestablisheditsplaceamongthingscrediblebeforemychildishjudgmentcouldanalyzeitsprobability，IquestionwhetherIshouldhavethefacetotellitnow。
InobediencetoMotherRigby"sword，andextendingitsarmasiftoreachheroutstretchedhand，thefiguremadeastepforward——akindofhitchandjerk，however，ratherthanastep——thentotteredandalmostlostitsbalance。Whatcouldthewitchexpect？Itwasnothing，afterall，butascarecrowstuckupontwosticks。Butthestrong-willedoldbeldamscowled，andbeckoned，andflungtheenergyofherpurposesoforciblyatthispoorcombinationofrottenwood，andmustystraw，andraggedgarments，thatitwascompelledtoshowitselfaman，inspiteoftherealityofthings。Soitsteppedintothebarofsunshine。Thereitstood，poordevilofacontrivancethatitwas！——withonlythethinnestvestureofhumansimilitudeaboutit，throughwhichwasevidentthestiff，rickety，incongruous，faded，tattered，good-for-nothingpatchworkofitssubstance，readytosinkinaheapuponthefloor，asconsciousofitsownunworthinesstobeerect。ShallIconfessthetruth？Atitspresentpointofvivification，thescarecrowremindsmeofsomeofthelukewarmandabortivecharacters，composedofheterogeneousmaterials，usedforthethousandthtime，andneverworthusing，withwhichromancewriters(andmyself，nodoubt，amongtherest)havesooverpeopledtheworldoffiction。
Butthefierceoldhagbegantogetangryandshowaglimpseofherdiabolicnature(likeasnake"shead，peepingwithahissoutofherbosom)，atthispusillanimousbehaviorofthethingwhichshehadtakenthetroubletoputtogether。
“Puffaway，wretch！“criedshe，wrathfully。“Puff，puff，puff，thouthingofstrawandemptiness！thouragortwo！thoumealbag！thoupumpkinhead！thounothing！WhereshallIfindanamevileenoughtocalltheeby？Puff，Isay，andsuckinthyfantasticlifewiththesmoke！elseIsnatchthepipefromthymouthandhurltheewherethatredcoalcamefrom。“
Thusthreatened，theunhappyscarecrowhadnothingforitbuttopuffawayfordearlife。Asneedwas，therefore，itapplieditselflustilytothepipe，andsentforthsuchabundantvolleysoftobaccosmokethatthesmallcottagekitchenbecameallvaporous。Theonesunbeamstruggledmistilythrough，andcouldbutimperfectlydefinetheimageofthecrackedanddustywindowpaneontheoppositewall。MotherRigby，meanwhile，withonebrownarmakimboandtheotherstretchedtowardsthefigure，loomedgrimlyamidtheobscuritywithsuchportandexpressionaswhenshewaswonttoheaveaponderousnightmareonhervictimsandstandatthebedsidetoenjoytheiragony。Infearandtremblingdidthispoorscarecrowpuff。Butitsefforts，itmustbeacknowledged，servedanexcellentpurpose；for，witheachsuccessivewhiff，thefigurelostmoreandmoreofitsdizzyandperplexingtenuityandseemedtotakedensersubstance。Itsverygarments，moreover，partookofthemagicalchange，andshonewiththeglossofnoveltyandglistenedwiththeskilfullyembroideredgoldthathadlongagobeenrentaway。And，halfrevealedamongthesmoke，ayellowvisagebentitslustrelesseyesonMotherRigby。
Atlasttheoldwitchclinchedherfistandshookitatthefigure。Notthatshewaspositivelyangry，butmerelyactingontheprinciple——perhapsuntrue，ornottheonlytruth，thoughashighaoneasMotherRigbycouldbeexpectedtoattain——thatfeebleandtorpidnatures，beingincapableofbetterinspiration，mustbestirredupbyfear。Butherewasthecrisis。Shouldshefailinwhatshenowsoughttoeffect，itwasherruthlesspurposetoscatterthemiserablesimulacreintoitsoriginalelements。
“Thouhastaman"saspect，“saidshe，sternly。“Havealsotheechoandmockeryofavoice！Ibidtheespeak！“
Thescarecrowgasped，struggled，andatlengthemittedamurmur，whichwassoincorporatedwithitssmokybreaththatyoucouldscarcelytellwhetheritwereindeedavoiceoronlyawhiffoftobacco。SomenarratorsofthislegendholdtheopinionthatMotherRigby"sconjurationsandthefiercenessofherwillhadcompelledafamiliarspiritintothefigure，andthatthevoicewashis。
“Mother，“mumbledthepoorstifledvoice，“benotsoawfulwithme！Iwouldfainspeak；butbeingwithoutwits，whatcanIsay？“
“Thoucanstspeak，darling，canstthou？“criedMotherRigby，relaxinghergrimcountenanceintoasmile。“Andwhatshaltthousay，quoth-a！Say，indeed！Artthouofthebrotherhoodoftheemptyskull，anddemandestofmewhatthoushaltsay？Thoushaltsayathousandthings，andsayingthemathousandtimesover，thoushaltstillhavesaidnothing！Benotafraid，Itellthee！
Whenthoucomestintotheworld(whitherIpurposesendingtheeforthwith)thoushaltnotlackthewherewithaltotalk。Talk！
Why，thoushallbabblelikeamill-stream，ifthouwilt。Thouhastbrainsenoughforthat，Itrow！“
“Atyourservice，mother，“respondedthefigure。
“Andthatwaswellsaid，myprettyone，“answeredMotherRigby。
“Thenthouspeakestlikethyself，andmeantnothing。Thoushalthaveahundredsuchsetphrases，andfivehundredtothebootofthem。Andnow，darling，Ihavetakensomuchpainswiththeeandthouartsobeautiful，that，bymytroth，Ilovetheebetterthananywitch"spuppetintheworld；andI"vemadethemofallsorts——clay，wax，straw，sticks，nightfog，morningmist，seafoam，andchimneysmoke。Butthouarttheverybest。SogiveheedtowhatIsay。“
“Yes，kindmother，“saidthefigure，“withallmyheart！“
“Withallthyheart！“criedtheoldwitch，settingherhandstohersidesandlaughingloudly。“Thouhastsuchaprettywayofspeaking。Withallthyheart！Andthoudidstputthyhandtotheleftsideofthywaistcoatasifthoureallyhadstone！“
Sonow，inhighgoodhumorwiththisfantasticcontrivanceofhers，MotherRigbytoldthescarecrowthatitmustgoandplayitspartinthegreatworld，wherenotonemaninahundred，sheaffirmed，wasgiftedwithmorerealsubstancethanitself。And，thathemightholduphisheadwiththebestofthem，sheendowedhim，onthespot，withanunreckonableamountofwealth。ItconsistedpartlyofagoldmineinEldorado，andoftenthousandsharesinabrokenbubble，andofhalfamillionacresofvineyardattheNorthPole，andofacastleintheair，andachateauinSpain，togetherwithalltherentsandincometherefromaccruing。Shefurthermadeovertohimthecargoofacertainship，ladenwithsaltofCadiz，whichsheherself，byhernecromanticarts，hadcausedtofounder，tenyearsbefore，inthedeepestpartofmid-ocean。Ifthesaltwerenotdissolved，andcouldbebroughttomarket，itwouldfetchaprettypennyamongthefishermen。Thathemightnotlackreadymoney，shegavehimacopperfarthingofBirminghammanufacture，beingallthecoinshehadabouther，andlikewiseagreatdealofbrass，whichsheappliedtohisforehead，thusmakingityellowerthanever。
“Withthatbrassalone，“quothMotherRigby，“thoucanstpaythywayallovertheearth。Kissme，prettydarling！Ihavedonemybestforthee。“
Furthermore，thattheadventurermightlacknopossibleadvantagetowardsafairstartinlife，thisexcellentolddamegavehimatokenbywhichhewastointroducehimselftoacertainmagistrate，memberofthecouncil，merchant，andelderofthechurch(thefourcapacitiesconstitutingbutoneman)，whostoodattheheadofsocietyintheneighboringmetropolis。Thetokenwasneithermorenorlessthanasingleword，whichMotherRigbywhisperedtothescarecrow，andwhichthescarecrowwastowhispertothemerchant。
“Goutyastheoldfellowis，he"llrunthyerrandsforthee，whenoncethouhastgivenhimthatwordinhisear，“saidtheoldwitch。“MotherRigbyknowstheworshipfulJusticeGookin，andtheworshipfulJusticeknowsMotherRigby！“
Herethewitchthrustherwrinkledfaceclosetothepuppet"s，chucklingirrepressibly，andfidgetingallthroughhersystem，withdelightattheideawhichshemeanttocommunicate。
“TheworshipfulMasterGookin，“whisperedshe，“hathacomelymaidentohisdaughter。Andharkye，mypet！Thouhastafairoutside，andaprettywitenoughofthineown。Yea，aprettywitenough！Thouwiltthinkbetterofitwhenthouhastseenmoreofotherpeople"swits。Now，withthyoutsideandthyinside，thouarttheverymantowinayounggirl"sheart。Neverdoubtit！I
telltheeitshallbeso。Putbutaboldfaceonthematter，sigh，smile，flourishthyhat，thrustforththyleglikeadancing-master，putthyrighthandtotheleftsideofthywaistcoat，andprettyPollyGookinisthineown！“
Allthiswhilethenewcreaturehadbeensuckinginandexhalingthevaporyfragranceofhispipe，andseemednowtocontinuethisoccupationasmuchfortheenjoymentitaffordedasbecauseitwasanessentialconditionofhisexistence。Itwaswonderfultoseehowexceedinglylikeahumanbeingitbehaved。Itseyes(foritappearedtopossessapair)werebentonMotherRigby，andatsuitablejuncturesitnoddedorshookitshead。Neitherdiditlackwordsproperfortheoccasion:“Really！Indeed！Praytellme！Isitpossible！Uponmyword！Bynomeans！Oh！Ah！Hem！“andothersuchweightyutterancesasimplyattention，inquiry，acquiescence，ordissentonthepartoftheauditor。Evenhadyoustoodbyandseenthescarecrowmade，youcouldscarcelyhaveresistedtheconvictionthatitperfectlyunderstoodthecunningcounselswhichtheoldwitchpouredintoitscounterfeitofanear。Themoreearnestlyitapplieditslipstothepipe，themoredistinctlywasitshumanlikenessstampedamongvisiblerealities，themoresagaciousgrewitsexpression，themorelifelikeitsgesturesandmovements，andthemoreintelligiblyaudibleitsvoice。Itsgarments，too，glistenedsomuchthebrighterwithanillusorymagnificence。Theverypipe，inwhichburnedthespellofallthiswonderwork，ceasedtoappearasasmoke-blackenedearthenstump，andbecameameerschaum，withpaintedbowlandambermouthpiece。
Itmightbeapprehended，however，thatasthelifeoftheillusionseemedidenticalwiththevaporofthepipe，itwouldterminatesimultaneouslywiththereductionofthetobaccotoashes。Butthebeldamforesawthedifficulty。
“Holdthouthepipe，mypreciousone，“saidshe，“whileIfillitfortheeagain。
ItwassorrowfultobeholdhowthefinegentlemanbegantofadebackintoascarecrowwhileMotherRigbyshooktheashesoutofthepipeandproceededtoreplenishitfromhertobacco-box。
“Dickon，“criedshe，inherhigh，sharptone，“anothercoalforthispipe！“
Nosoonersaidthantheintenselyredspeckoffirewasglowingwithinthepipe-bowl；andthescarecrow，withoutwaitingforthewitch"sbidding，appliedthetubetohislipsanddrewinafewshort，convulsivewhiffs，whichsoon，however，becameregularandequable。
“Now，mineownheart"sdarling，“quothMotherRigby，“whatevermayhappentothee，thoumuststicktothypipe。Thylifeisinit；andthat，atleast，thouknowestwell，ifthouknowestnoughtbesides。Sticktothypipe，Isay！Smoke，puff，blowthycloud；
andtellthepeople，ifanyquestionbemade，thatitisforthyhealth，andthatsothephysicianorderstheetodo。And，sweetone，whenthoushaltfindthypipegettinglow，goapartintosomecorner，and(firstfillingthyselfwithsmoke)crysharply，"Dickon，afreshpipeoftobacco！"and，"Dickon，anothercoalformypipe！"andhaveitintothyprettymouthasspeedilyasmaybe。Else，insteadofagallantgentlemaninagold-lacedcoat，thouwiltbebutajumbleofsticksandtatteredclothes，andabagofstraw，andawitheredpumpkin！Nowdepart，mytreasure，andgoodluckgowiththee！“
“Neverfear，mother！“saidthefigure，inastoutvoice，andsendingforthacourageouswhiffofsmoke，“Iwillthrive，ifanhonestmanandagentlemanmay！“
“Oh，thouwiltbethedeathofme！“criedtheoldwitch，convulsedwithlaughter。“Thatwaswellsaid。Ifanhonestmanandagentlemanmay！Thouplayestthyparttoperfection。Getalongwiththeeforasmartfellow；andIwillwageronthyhead，asamanofpithandsubstance，withabrainandwhattheycallaheart，andallelsethatamanshouldhave，againstanyotherthingontwolegs。Iholdmyselfabetterwitchthanyesterday，forthysake。DidnotImakethee？AndIdefyanywitchinNewEnglandtomakesuchanother！Here；takemystaffalongwiththee！“
Thestaff，thoughitwasbutaplainoakenstick，immediatelytooktheaspectofagold-headedcane。
“Thatgoldheadhasasmuchsenseinitasthineown，“saidMotherRigby，“anditwillguidetheestraighttoworshipfulMasterGookin"sdoor。Gettheegone，myprettypet，mydarling，mypreciousone，mytreasure；andifanyaskthyname，itisFeathertop。Forthouhastafeatherinthyhat，andIhavethrustahandfuloffeathersintothehollowofthyhead，andthywig，too，isofthefashiontheycallFeathertop，——sobeFeathertopthyname！“
And，issuingfromthecottage，Feathertopstrodemanfullytowardstown。MotherRigbystoodatthethreshold，wellpleasedtoseehowthesunbeamsglistenedonhim，asifallhismagnificencewerereal，andhowdiligentlyandlovinglyhesmokedhispipe，andhowhandsomelyhewalked，inspiteofalittlestiffnessofhislegs。Shewatchedhimuntiloutofsight，andthrewawitchbenedictionafterherdarling，whenaturnoftheroadsnatchedhimfromherview。
Betimesintheforenoon，whentheprincipalstreetoftheneighboringtownwasjustatitsacmeoflifeandbustle，astrangerofverydistinguishedfigurewasseenonthesidewalk。
Hisportaswellashisgarmentsbetokenednothingshortofnobility。Heworearichly-embroideredplum-coloredcoat，awaistcoatofcostlyvelvet，magnificentlyadornedwithgoldenfoliage，apairofsplendidscarletbreeches，andthefinestandglossiestofwhitesilkstockings。Hisheadwascoveredwithaperuke，sodaintilypowderedandadjustedthatitwouldhavebeensacrilegetodisorderitwithahat；which，therefore(anditwasagold-lacedhat，setoffwithasnowyfeather)，hecarriedbeneathhisarm。Onthebreastofhiscoatglistenedastar。Hemanagedhisgold-headedcanewithanairygrace，peculiartothefinegentlemenoftheperiod；and，togivethehighestpossiblefinishtohisequipment，hehadlacerufflesathiswrist，ofamostetherealdelicacy，sufficientlyavouchinghowidleandaristocraticmustbethehandswhichtheyhalfconcealed。
Itwasaremarkablepointintheaccoutrementofthisbrilliantpersonagethatheheldinhislefthandafantastickindofapipe，withanexquisitelypaintedbowlandanambermouthpiece。
Thisheappliedtohislipsasoftenaseveryfiveorsixpaces，andinhaledadeepwhiffofsmoke，which，afterbeingretainedamomentinhislungs，mightbeseentoeddygracefullyfromhismouthandnostrils。
Asmaywellbesupposed，thestreetwasallastirtofindoutthestranger"sname。
“Itissomegreatnobleman，beyondquestion，“saidoneofthetownspeople。“Doyouseethestarathisbreast？“
“Nay；itistoobrighttobeseen，“saidanother。“Yes；hemustneedsbeanobleman，asyousay。Butbywhatconveyance，thinkyou，canhislordshiphavevoyagedortravelledhither？Therehasbeennovesselfromtheoldcountryforamonthpast；andifhehavearrivedoverlandfromthesouthward，praywherearehisattendantsandequipage？“
“Heneedsnoequipagetosetoffhisrank，“remarkedathird。“Ifhecameamongusinrags，nobilitywouldshinethroughaholeinhiselbow。Ineversawsuchdignityofaspect。HehastheoldNormanbloodinhisveins，Iwarranthim。“
“IrathertakehimtobeaDutchman，oroneofyourhighGermans，“saidanothercitizen。“Themenofthosecountrieshavealwaysthepipeattheirmouths。“
“AndsohasaTurk，“answeredhiscompanion。“But，inmyjudgment，thisstrangerhathbeenbredattheFrenchcourt，andhaththerelearnedpolitenessandgraceofmanner，whichnoneunderstandsowellasthenobilityofFrance。Thatgait，now！A
vulgarspectatormightdeemitstiff——hemightcallitahitchandjerk——but，tomyeye，ithathanunspeakablemajesty，andmusthavebeenacquiredbyconstantobservationofthedeportmentoftheGrandMonarque。Thestranger"scharacterandofficeareevidentenough。HeisaFrenchambassador，cometotreatwithourrulersaboutthecessionofCanada。“
“MoreprobablyaSpaniard，“saidanother，“andhencehisyellowcomplexion；or，mostlikely，heisfromtheHavana，orfromsomeportontheSpanishmain，andcomestomakeinvestigationaboutthepiracieswhichourgovernmentisthoughttoconniveat。ThosesettlersinPeruandMexicohaveskinsasyellowasthegoldwhichtheydigoutoftheirmines。“
“Yellowornot，“criedalady，“heisabeautifulman！——sotall，soslender！suchafine，nobleface，withsowell-shapedanose，andallthatdelicacyofexpressionaboutthemouth！And，blessme，howbrighthisstaris！Itpositivelyshootsoutflames！“
“Sodoyoureyes，fairlady，“saidthestranger，withabowandaflourishofhispipe；forhewasjustpassingattheinstant。
“Uponmyhonor，theyhavequitedazzledme。“
“Waseversooriginalandexquisiteacompliment？“murmuredthelady，inanecstasyofdelight。
Amidthegeneraladmirationexcitedbythestranger"sappearance，therewereonlytwodissentingvoices。Onewasthatofanimpertinentcur，which，aftersnuffingattheheelsoftheglisteningfigure，putitstailbetweenitslegsandskulkedintoitsmaster"sbackyard，vociferatinganexecrablehowl。Theotherdissentientwasayoungchild，whosqualledatthefulleststretchofhislungs，andbabbledsomeunintelligiblenonsenseaboutapumpkin。
Feathertopmeanwhilepursuedhiswayalongthestreet。Exceptforthefewcomplimentarywordstothelady，andnowandthenaslightinclinationoftheheadinrequitaloftheprofoundreverencesofthebystanders，heseemedwhollyabsorbedinhispipe。Thereneedednootherproofofhisrankandconsequencethantheperfectequanimitywithwhichhecomportedhimself，whilethecuriosityandadmirationofthetownswelledalmostintoclamoraroundhim。Withacrowdgatheringbehindhisfootsteps，hefinallyreachedthemansion-houseoftheworshipfulJusticeGookin，enteredthegate，ascendedthestepsofthefrontdoor，andknocked。Intheinterim，beforehissummonswasanswered，thestrangerwasobservedtoshaketheashesoutofhispipe。
“Whatdidhesayinthatsharpvoice？“inquiredoneofthespectators。
“Nay，Iknownot，“answeredhisfriend。“Butthesundazzlesmyeyesstrangely。Howdimandfadedhislordshiplooksallofasudden！Blessmywits，whatisthematterwithme？“
“Thewonderis，“saidtheother，“thathispipe，whichwasoutonlyaninstantago，shouldbeallalightagain，andwiththereddestcoalIeversaw。Thereissomethingmysteriousaboutthisstranger。Whatawhiffofsmokewasthat！Dimandfadeddidyoucallhim？Why，asheturnsaboutthestaronhisbreastisallablaze。“
“Itis，indeed，“saidhiscompanion；“anditwillgoneartodazzleprettyPollyGookin，whomIseepeepingatitoutofthechamberwindow。“
Thedoorbeingnowopened，Feathertopturnedtothecrowd，madeastatelybendofhisbodylikeagreatmanacknowledgingthereverenceofthemeanersort，andvanishedintothehouse。Therewasamysteriouskindofasmile，ifitmightnotbetterbecalledagrinorgrimace，uponhisvisage；but，ofallthethrongthatbeheldhim，notanindividualappearstohavepossessedinsightenoughtodetecttheillusivecharacterofthestrangerexceptalittlechildandacurdog。
Ourlegendherelosessomewhatofitscontinuity，and，passingoverthepreliminaryexplanationbetweenFeathertopandthemerchant，goesinquestoftheprettyPollyGookin。Shewasadamselofasoft，roundfigure，withlighthairandblueeyes，andafair，rosyface，whichseemedneitherveryshrewdnorverysimple。Thisyoungladyhadcaughtaglimpseoftheglisteningstrangerwhilestandingonthethreshold，andhadforthwithputonalacedcap，astringofbeads，herfinestkerchief，andherstiffestdamaskpetticoatinpreparationfortheinterview。
Hurryingfromherchambertotheparlor，shehadeversincebeenviewingherselfinthelargelooking-glassandpractisingprettyairs-nowasmile，nowaceremoniousdignityofaspect，andnowasoftersmilethantheformer，kissingherhandlikewise，tossingherhead，andmanagingherfan；whilewithinthemirroranunsubstantiallittlemaidrepeatedeverygestureanddidallthefoolishthingsthatPollydid，butwithoutmakingherashamedofthem。Inshort，itwasthefaultofprettyPolly"sabilityratherthanherwillifshefailedtobeascompleteanartificeastheillustriousFeathertophimself；and，whenshethustamperedwithherownsimplicity，thewitch"sphantommightwellhopetowinher。
NosoonerdidPollyhearherfather"sgoutyfootstepsapproachingtheparlordoor，accompaniedwiththestiffclatterofFeathertop"shigh-heeledshoes，thansheseatedherselfboltuprightandinnocentlybeganwarblingasong。
“Polly！daughterPolly！“criedtheoldmerchant。“Comehither，child。“
MasterGookin"saspect，asheopenedthedoor，wasdoubtfulandtroubled。
“Thisgentleman，“continuedhe，presentingthestranger，“istheChevalierFeathertop，——nay，Ibeghispardon，myLordFeathertop，——whohathbroughtmeatokenofremembrancefromanancientfriendofmine。Payyourdutytohislordship，child，andhonorhimashisqualitydeserves。“
Afterthesefewwordsofintroduction，theworshipfulmagistrateimmediatelyquittedtheroom。But，eveninthatbriefmoment，hadthefairPollyglancedasideatherfatherinsteadofdevotingherselfwhollytothebrilliantguest，shemighthavetakenwarningofsomemischiefnighathand。Theoldmanwasnervous，fidgety，andverypale。Purposingasmileofcourtesy，hehaddeformedhisfacewithasortofgalvanicgrin，which，whenFeathertop"sbackwasturned，heexchangedforascowl，atthesametimeshakinghisfistandstampinghisgoutyfoot——anincivilitywhichbroughtitsretributionalongwithit。ThetruthappearstohavebeenthatMotherRigby"swordofintroduction，whateveritmightbe，hadoperatedfarmoreontherichmerchant"sfearsthanonhisgoodwill。Moreover，beingamanofwonderfullyacuteobservation，hehadnoticedthatthesepaintedfiguresonthebowlofFeathertop"spipewereinmotion。Lookingmorecloselyhebecameconvincedthatthesefigureswereapartyoflittledemons，eachdulyprovidedwithhornsandatail，anddancinghandinhand，withgesturesofdiabolicalmerriment，roundthecircumferenceofthepipebowl。Asiftoconfirmhissuspicions，whileMasterGookinusheredhisguestalongaduskypassagefromhisprivateroomtotheparlor，thestaronFeathertop"sbreasthadscintillatedactualflames，andthrewaflickeringgleamuponthewall，theceiling，andthefloor。
Withsuchsinisterprognosticsmanifestingthemselvesonallhands，itisnottobemarvelledatthatthemerchantshouldhavefeltthathewascommittinghisdaughtertoaveryquestionableacquaintance。Hecursed，inhissecretsoul，theinsinuatingeleganceofFeathertop"smanners，asthisbrilliantpersonagebowed，smiled，puthishandonhisheart，inhaledalongwhifffromhispipe，andenrichedtheatmospherewiththesmokyvaporofafragrantandvisiblesigh。GladlywouldpoorMasterGookinhavethrusthisdangerousguestintothestreet；buttherewasaconstraintandterrorwithinhim。Thisrespectableoldgentleman，wefear，atanearlierperiodoflife，hadgivensomepledgeorothertotheevilprinciple，andperhapswasnowtoredeemitbythesacrificeofhisdaughter。
Itsohappenedthattheparlordoorwaspartlyofglass，shadedbyasilkencurtain，thefoldsofwhichhungalittleawry。Sostrongwasthemerchant"sinterestinwitnessingwhatwastoensuebetweenthefairPollyandthegallantFeathertopthat，afterquittingtheroom，hecouldbynomeansrefrainfrompeepingthroughthecreviceofthecurtain。
Buttherewasnothingverymiraculoustobeseen；nothing——exceptthetriflespreviouslynoticed——toconfirmtheideaofasupernaturalperilenvironingtheprettyPolly。Thestrangeritistruewasevidentlyathoroughandpractisedmanoftheworld，systematicandself-possessed，andthereforethesortofapersontowhomaparentoughtnottoconfideasimple，younggirlwithoutduewatchfulnessfortheresult。Theworthymagistratewhohadbeenconversantwithalldegreesandqualitiesofmankind，couldnotbutperceiveeverymotionandgestureofthedistinguishedFeathertopcameinitsproperplace；nothinghadbeenleftrudeornativeinhim；awell-digestedconventionalismhadincorporateditselfthoroughlywithhissubstanceandtransformedhimintoaworkofart。Perhapsitwasthispeculiaritythatinvestedhimwithaspeciesofghastlinessandawe。Itistheeffectofanythingcompletelyandconsummatelyartificial，inhumanshape，thatthepersonimpressesusasanunrealityandashavinghardlypithenoughtocastashadowuponthefloor。AsregardedFeathertop，allthisresultedinawild，extravagant，andfantasticalimpression，asifhislifeandbeingwereakintothesmokethatcurledupwardfromhispipe。
ButprettyPollyGookinfeltnotthus。Thepairwerenowpromenadingtheroom:Feathertopwithhisdaintystrideandnolessdaintygrimace，thegirlwithanativemaidenlygrace，justtouched，notspoiled，byaslightlyaffectedmanner，whichseemedcaughtfromtheperfectartificeofhercompanion。Thelongertheinterviewcontinued，themorecharmedwasprettyPolly，until，withinthefirstquarterofanhour(astheoldmagistratenotedbyhiswatch)，shewasevidentlybeginningtobeinlove。Norneedithavebeenwitchcraftthatsubduedherinsuchahurry；
thepoorchild"sheart，itmaybe，wassoveryferventthatitmeltedherwithitsownwarmthasreflectedfromthehollowsemblanceofalover。NomatterwhatFeathertopsaid，hiswordsfounddepthandreverberationinherear；nomatterwhathedid，hisactionwasheroictohereye。AndbythistimeitistobesupposedtherewasablushonPolly"scheek，atendersmileabouthermouthandaliquidsoftnessinherglance；whilethestarkeptcoruscatingonFeathertop"sbreast，andthelittledemonscareeredwithmorefranticmerrimentthaneveraboutthecircumferenceofhispipebowl。OprettyPollyGookin，whyshouldtheseimpsrejoicesomadlythatasillymaiden"sheartwasabouttobegiventoashadow！Isitsounusualamisfortune，sorareatriumph？
ByandbyFeathertoppaused，andthrowinghimselfintoanimposingattitude，seemedtosummonthefairgirltosurveyhisfigureandresisthimlongerifshecould。Hisstar，hisembroidery，hisbucklesglowedatthatinstantwithunutterablesplendor；thepicturesquehuesofhisattiretookaricherdepthofcoloring；therewasagleamandpolishoverhiswholepresencebetokeningtheperfectwitcheryofwell-orderedmanners。Themaidenraisedhereyesandsufferedthemtolingeruponhercompanionwithabashfulandadmiringgaze。Then，asifdesirousofjudgingwhatvalueherownsimplecomelinessmighthavesidebysidewithsomuchbrilliancy，shecastaglancetowardsthefull-lengthlooking-glassinfrontofwhichtheyhappenedtobestanding。Itwasoneofthetruestplatesintheworldandincapableofflattery。NosoonerdidtheimagesthereinreflectedmeetPolly"seyethansheshrieked，shrankfromthestranger"sside，gazedathimforamomentinthewildestdismay，andsankinsensibleuponthefloor。Feathertoplikewisehadlookedtowardsthemirror，andtherebeheld，nottheglitteringmockeryofhisoutsideshow，butapictureofthesordidpatchworkofhisrealcompositionstrippedofallwitchcraft。
Thewretchedsimulacrum！Wealmostpityhim。Hethrewuphisarmswithanexpressionofdespairthatwentfurtherthananyofhispreviousmanifestationstowardsvindicatinghisclaimstobereckonedhuman，forperchancetheonlytimesincethissooftenemptyanddeceptivelifeofmortalsbeganitscourse，anillusionhadseenandfullyrecognizeditself。
MotherRigbywasseatedbyherkitchenhearthinthetwilightofthiseventfulday，andhadjustshakentheashesoutofanewpipe，whensheheardahurriedtrampalongtheroad。Yetitdidnotseemsomuchthetrampofhumanfootstepsastheclatterofsticksortherattlingofdrybones。
“Ha！“thoughttheoldwitch，“whatstepisthat？Whoseskeletonisoutofitsgravenow，Iwonder？“
Afigureburstheadlongintothecottagedoor。ItwasFeathertop！
Hispipewasstillalight；thestarstillflameduponhisbreast；
theembroiderystillgloweduponhisgarments；norhadhelost，inanydegreeormannerthatcouldbeestimated，theaspectthatassimilatedhimwithourmortalbrotherhood。Butyet，insomeindescribableway(asisthecasewithallthathasdeludeduswhenoncefoundout)，thepoorrealitywasfeltbeneaththecunningartifice。
“Whathasgonewrong？“demandedthewitch。“Didyondersnifflinghypocritethrustmydarlingfromhisdoor？Thevillain！I"llsettwentyfiendstotormenthimtillheoffertheehisdaughteronhisbendedknees！“
“No，mother，“saidFeathertopdespondingly；“itwasnotthat。“
“Didthegirlscornmypreciousone？“askedMotherRigby，herfierceeyesglowingliketwocoalsofTophet。“I"llcoverherfacewithpimples！Hernoseshallbeasredasthecoalinthypipe！Herfrontteethshalldropout！Inaweekhencesheshallnotbeworththyhaving！“
“Letheralone，mother，“answeredpoorFeathertop；“thegirlwashalfwon；andmethinksakissfromhersweetlipsmighthavemademealtogetherhuman。But，“headded，afterabriefpauseandthenahowlofself-contempt，“I"veseenmyself，mother！I"veseenmyselfforthewretched，ragged，emptythingIam！I"llexistnolonger！“
Snatchingthepipefromhismouth，heflungitwithallhismightagainstthechimney，andatthesameinstantsankuponthefloor，amedleyofstrawandtatteredgarments，withsomesticksprotrudingfromtheheap，andashrivelledpumpkininthemidst。
Theeyeholeswerenowlustreless；buttherudely-carvedgap，thatjustbeforehadbeenamouthstillseemedtotwistitselfintoadespairinggrin，andwassofarhuman。
“Poorfellow！“quothMotherRigby，witharuefulglanceattherelicsofherill-fatedcontrivance。“Mypoor，dear，prettyFeathertop！Therearethousandsuponthousandsofcoxcombsandcharlatansintheworld，madeupofjustsuchajumbleofwornout，forgotten，andgood-for-nothingtrashashewas！Yettheyliveinfairrepute，andneverseethemselvesforwhattheyare。Andwhyshouldmypoorpuppetbetheonlyonetoknowhimselfandperishforit？“
Whilethusmuttering，thewitchhadfilledafreshpipeoftobacco，andheldthestembetweenherfingers，asdoubtfulwhethertothrustitintoherownmouthorFeathertop"s。
“PoorFeathertop！“shecontinued。“Icouldeasilygivehimanotherchanceandsendhimforthagaintomorrow。Butno；hisfeelingsaretootender，hissensibilitiestoodeep。Heseemstohavetoomuchhearttobustleforhisownadvantageinsuchanemptyandheartlessworld。Well！well！I"llmakeascarecrowofhimafterall。"Tisaninnocentandusefulvocation，andwillsuitmydarlingwell；and，ifeachofhishumanbrethrenhadasfitaone，"twouldbethebetterformankind；andasforthispipeoftobacco，Ineeditmorethanhe。“
SosayingMotherRigbyputthestembetweenherlips。“Dickon！“
criedshe，inherhigh，sharptone，“anothercoalformypipe！“
EGOTISM[1]
OR，THEBOSOMSERPENT
[1]Thephysicalfact，towhichitishereattemptedtogiveamoralsignification，hasbeenknowntooccurinmorethanoneinstance。
“Herehecomes！“shoutedtheboysalongthestreet。“Herecomesthemanwithasnakeinhisbosom！“
Thisoutcry，salutingHerkimer"searsashewasabouttoentertheirongateoftheEllistonmansion，madehimpause。Itwasnotwithoutashudderthathefoundhimselfonthepointofmeetinghisformeracquaintance，whomhehadknowninthegloryofyouth，andwhomnowafteranintervaloffiveyears，hewastofindthevictimeitherofadiseasedfancyorahorriblephysicalmisfortune。
“Asnakeinhisbosom！“repeatedtheyoungsculptortohimself。
“Itmustbehe。Nosecondmanonearthhassuchabosomfriend。
Andnow，mypoorRosina，Heavengrantmewisdomtodischargemyerrandaright！Woman"sfaithmustbestrongindeedsincethinehasnotyetfailed。“
Thusmusing，hetookhisstandattheentranceofthegateandwaiteduntilthepersonagesosingularlyannouncedshouldmakehisappearance。Afteraninstantortwohebeheldthefigureofaleanman，ofunwholesomelook，withglitteringeyesandlongblackhair，whoseemedtoimitatethemotionofasnake；for，insteadofwalkingstraightforwardwithopenfront，heundulatedalongthepavementinacurvedline。Itmaybetoofancifultosaythatsomething，eitherinhismoralormaterialaspect，suggestedtheideathatamiraclehadbeenwroughtbytransformingaserpentintoaman，butsoimperfectlythatthesnakynaturewasyethidden，andscarcelyhidden，underthemereoutwardguiseofhumanity。Herkimerremarkedthathiscomplexionhadagreenishtingeoveritssicklywhite，remindinghimofaspeciesofmarbleoutofwhichhehadoncewroughtaheadofEnvy，withhersnakylocks。
Thewretchedbeingapproachedthegate，but，insteadofentering，stoppedshortandfixedtheglitterofhiseyefulluponthecompassionateyetsteadycountenanceofthesculptor。
“Itgnawsme！Itgnawsme！“heexclaimed。
Andthentherewasanaudiblehiss，butwhetheritcamefromtheapparentlunatic"sownlips，orwastherealhissofaserpent，mightadmitofadiscussion。Atallevents，itmadeHerkimershuddertohisheart"score。
“Doyouknowme，GeorgeHerkimer？“askedthesnake-possessed。
Herkimerdidknowhim；butitdemandedalltheintimateandpracticalacquaintancewiththehumanface，acquiredbymodellingactuallikenessesinclay，torecognizethefeaturesofRoderickEllistoninthevisagethatnowmetthesculptor"sgaze。Yetitwashe。ItaddednothingtothewondertoreflectthattheoncebrilliantyoungmanhadundergonethisodiousandfearfulchangeduringthenomorethanfivebriefyearsofHerkimer"sabodeatFlorence。Thepossibilityofsuchatransformationbeinggranted，itwasaseasytoconceiveiteffectedinamomentasinanage。
Inexpressiblyshockedandstartled，itwasstillthekeenestpangwhenHerkimerrememberedthatthefateofhiscousinRosina，theidealofgentlewomanhood，wasindissolublyinterwovenwiththatofabeingwhomProvidenceseemedtohaveunhumanized。
“Elliston！Roderick！“criedhe，“Ihadheardofthis；butmyconceptioncamefarshortofthetruth。Whathasbefallenyou？
WhydoIfindyouthus？“
“Oh，"tisamerenothing！Asnake！Asnake！Thecommonestthingintheworld。Asnakeinthebosom——that"sall，“answeredRoderickElliston。“Buthowisyourownbreast？“continuedhe，lookingthesculptorintheeyewiththemostacuteandpenetratingglancethatithadeverbeenhisfortunetoencounter。“Allpureandwholesome？Noreptilethere？Bymyfaithandconscience，andbythedevilwithinme，hereisawonder！A
manwithoutaserpentinhisbosom！“
“Becalm，Elliston，“whisperedGeorgeHerkimer，layinghishandupontheshoulderofthesnake-possessed。“Ihavecrossedtheoceantomeetyou。Listen！Letusbeprivate。IbringamessagefromRosina——fromyourwife！“
“Itgnawsme！Itgnawsme！“mutteredRoderick。
Withthisexclamation，themostfrequentinhismouth，theunfortunatemanclutchedbothhandsuponhisbreastasifanintolerablestingortortureimpelledhimtorenditopenandletoutthelivingmischief，evenshoulditbeintertwinedwithhisownlife。HethenfreedhimselffromHerkimer"sgraspbyasubtlemotion，and，glidingthroughthegate，tookrefugeinhisantiquatedfamilyresidence。Thesculptordidnotpursuehim。Hesawthatnoavailableintercoursecouldbeexpectedatsuchamoment，andwasdesirous，beforeanothermeeting，toinquirecloselyintothenatureofRoderick"sdiseaseandthecircumstancesthathadreducedhimtosolamentableacondition。
Hesucceededinobtainingthenecessaryinformationfromaneminentmedicalgentleman。
ShortlyafterElliston"sseparationfromhiswife——nownearlyfouryearsago——hisassociateshadobservedasingulargloomspreadingoverhisdailylife，likethosechill，graymiststhatsometimesstealawaythesunshinefromasummer"smorning。Thesymptomscausedthemendlessperplexity。Theyknewnotwhetherillhealthwererobbinghisspiritsofelasticity，orwhetheracankerofthemindwasgraduallyeating，assuchcankersdo，fromhismoralsystemintothephysicalframe，whichisbuttheshadowoftheformer。Theylookedfortherootofthistroubleinhisshatteredschemesofdomesticbliss，——wilfullyshatteredbyhimself，——butcouldnotbesatisfiedofitsexistencethere。Somethoughtthattheironcebrilliantfriendwasinanincipientstageofinsanity，ofwhichhispassionateimpulseshadperhapsbeentheforerunners；othersprognosticatedageneralblightandgradualdecline。FromRoderick"sownlipstheycouldlearnnothing。Morethanonce，itistrue，hehadbeenheardtosay，clutchinghishandsconvulsivelyuponhisbreast，——“Itgnawsme！
Itgnawsme！“——but，bydifferentauditors，agreatdiversityofexplanationwasassignedtothisominousexpression。WhatcoulditbethatgnawedthebreastofRoderickElliston？Wasitsorrow？
Wasitmerelythetoothofphysicaldisease？Or，inhisrecklesscourse，oftenverginguponprofligacy，ifnotplungingintoitsdepths，hadhebeenguiltyofsomedeedwhichmadehisbosomapreytothedeadlierfangsofremorse？Therewasplausiblegroundforeachoftheseconjectures；butitmustnotbeconcealedthatmorethanoneelderlygentleman，thevictimofgoodcheerandslothfulhabits，magisteriallypronouncedthesecretofthewholemattertobeDyspepsia！
Meanwhile，Roderickseemedawarehowgenerallyhehadbecomethesubjectofcuriosityandconjecture，and，withamorbidrepugnancetosuchnotice，ortoanynoticewhatsoever，estrangedhimselffromallcompanionship。Notmerelytheeyeofmanwasahorrortohim；notmerelythelightofafriend"scountenance；
buteventheblessedsunshine，likewise，whichinitsuniversalbeneficencetypifiestheradianceoftheCreator"sface，expressinghisloveforallthecreaturesofhishand。TheduskytwilightwasnowtootransparentforRoderickElliston；theblackestmidnightwashischosenhourtostealabroad；andifeverhewereseen，itwaswhenthewatchman"slanterngleameduponhisfigure，glidingalongthestreet，withhishandsclutcheduponhisbosom，stillmuttering，“Itgnawsme！Itgnawsme！“Whatcoulditbethatgnawedhim？
Afteratime，itbecameknownthatEllistonwasinthehabitofresortingtoallthenotedquacksthatinfestedthecity，orwhommoneywouldtempttojourneythitherfromadistance。Byoneofthesepersons，intheexultationofasupposedcure，itwasproclaimedfarandwide，bydintofhandbillsandlittlepamphletsondingypaper，thatadistinguishedgentleman，RoderickElliston，Esq。，hadbeenrelievedofaSNAKEinhisstomach！Soherewasthemonstroussecret，ejectedfromitslurkingplaceintopublicview，inallitshorribledeformity。
Themysterywasout；butnotsothebosomserpent。He，ifitwereanythingbutadelusion，stilllaycoiledinhislivingden。Theempiric"scurehadbeenasham，theeffect，itwassupposed，ofsomestupefyingdrugwhichmorenearlycausedthedeathofthepatientthanoftheodiousreptilethatpossessedhim。WhenRoderickEllistonregainedentiresensibility，itwastofindhismisfortunethetowntalk——themorethanninedays"wonderandhorror——while，athisbosom，hefeltthesickeningmotionofathingalive，andthegnawingofthatrestlessfangwhichseemedtogratifyatonceaphysicalappetiteandafiendishspite。
Hesummonedtheoldblackservant，whohadbeenbredupinhisfather"shouse，andwasamiddle-agedmanwhileRodericklayinhiscradle。
“Scipio！“hebegan；andthenpaused，withhisarmsfoldedoverhisheart。“Whatdopeoplesayofme，Scipio。“
“Sir！mypoormaster！thatyouhadaserpentinyourbosom，“
answeredtheservantwithhesitation。
“Andwhatelse？“askedRoderick，withaghastlylookattheman。
“Nothingelse，dearmaster，“repliedScipio，“onlythatthedoctorgaveyouapowder，andthatthesnakeleapedoutuponthefloor。“
“No，no！“mutteredRodericktohimself，asheshookhishead，andpressedhishandswithamoreconvulsiveforceuponhisbreast，“Ifeelhimstill。Itgnawsme！Itgnawsme！“
Fromthistimethemiserablesuffererceasedtoshuntheworld，butrathersolicitedandforcedhimselfuponthenoticeofacquaintancesandstrangers。Itwaspartlytheresultofdesperationonfindingthatthecavernofhisownbosomhadnotproveddeepanddarkenoughtohidethesecret，evenwhileitwassosecureafortressfortheloathsomefiendthathadcreptintoit。Butstillmore，thiscravingfornotorietywasasymptomoftheintensemorbidnesswhichnowpervadedhisnature。Allpersonschronicallydiseasedareegotists，whetherthediseasebeofthemindorbody；whetheritbesin，sorrow，ormerelythemoretolerablecalamityofsomeendlesspain，ormischiefamongthecordsofmortallife。Suchindividualsaremadeacutelyconsciousofaself，bythetortureinwhichitdwells。Self，therefore，growstobesoprominentanobjectwiththemthattheycannotbutpresentittothefaceofeverycasualpasser-by。Thereisapleasure——perhapsthegreatestofwhichthesuffererissusceptible——indisplayingthewastedorulceratedlimb，orthecancerinthebreast；andthefoulerthecrime，withsomuchthemoredifficultydoestheperpetratorpreventitfromthrustingupitssnake-likeheadtofrightentheworld；foritisthatcancer，orthatcrime，whichconstitutestheirrespectiveindividuality。
RoderickElliston，who，alittlewhilebefore，hadheldhimselfsoscornfullyabovethecommonlotofmen，nowpaidfullallegiancetothishumiliatinglaw。Thesnakeinhisbosomseemedthesymbolofamonstrousegotismtowhicheverythingwasreferred，andwhichhepampered，nightandday，withacontinualandexclusivesacrificeofdevilworship。
Hesoonexhibitedwhatmostpeopleconsideredindubitabletokensofinsanity。Insomeofhismoods，strangetosay，hepridedandgloriedhimselfonbeingmarkedoutfromtheordinaryexperienceofmankind，bythepossessionofadoublenature，andalifewithinalife。Heappearedtoimaginethatthesnakewasadivinity，——notcelestial，itistrue，butdarklyinfernal，——andthathethencederivedaneminenceandasanctity，horrid，indeed，yetmoredesirablethanwhateverambitionaimsat。Thushedrewhismiseryaroundhimlikearegalmantle，andlookeddowntriumphantlyuponthosewhosevitalsnourishednodeadlymonster。Oftener，however，hishumannatureasserteditsempireoverhimintheshapeofayearningforfellowship。Itgrewtobehiscustomtospendthewholedayinwanderingaboutthestreets，aimlessly，unlessitmightbecalledanaimtoestablishaspeciesofbrotherhoodbetweenhimselfandtheworld。Withcankeredingenuity，hesoughtouthisowndiseaseineverybreast。Whetherinsaneornot，heshowedsokeenaperceptionoffrailty，error，andvice，thatmanypersonsgavehimcreditforbeingpossessednotmerelywithaserpent，butwithanactualfiend，whoimpartedthisevilfacultyofrecognizingwhateverwasugliestinman"sheart。
Forinstance，hemetanindividual，who，forthirtyyears，hadcherishedahatredagainsthisownbrother。Roderick，amidstthethrongofthestreet，laidhishandonthisman"schest，andlookingfullintohisforbiddingface，“Howisthesnaketo-day？“
heinquired，withamockexpressionofsympathy。
“Thesnake！“exclaimedthebrotherhater——“whatdoyoumean？“
“Thesnake！Thesnake！Doesitgnawyou？“persistedRoderick。
“Didyoutakecounselwithhimthismorningwhenyoushouldhavebeensayingyourprayers？Didhesting，whenyouthoughtofyourbrother"shealth，wealth，andgoodrepute？Didhecaperforjoy，whenyourememberedtheprofligacyofhisonlyson？Andwhetherhestung，orwhetherhefrolicked，didyoufeelhispoisonthroughoutyourbodyandsoul，convertingeverythingtosournessandbitterness？Thatisthewayofsuchserpents。Ihavelearnedthewholenatureofthemfrommyown！“
“Whereisthepolice？“roaredtheobjectofRoderick"spersecution，atthesametimegivinganinstinctiveclutchtohisbreast。“Whyisthislunaticallowedtogoatlarge？“
“Ha，ha！“chuckledRoderick，releasinghisgraspoftheman——
“Hisbosomserpenthasstunghimthen！“
Oftenitpleasedtheunfortunateyoungmantovexpeoplewithalightersatire，yetstillcharacterizedbysomewhatofsnake-likevirulence。Onedayheencounteredanambitiousstatesman，andgravelyinquiredafterthewelfareofhisboaconstrictor；forofthatspecies，Roderickaffirmed，thisgentleman"sserpentmustneedsbe，sinceitsappetitewasenormousenoughtodevourthewholecountryandconstitution。Atanothertime，hestoppedaclose-fistedoldfellow，ofgreatwealth，butwhoskulkedaboutthecityintheguiseofascarecrow，withapatchedbluesurtout，brownhat，andmouldyboots，scrapingpencetogether，andpickinguprustynails。Pretendingtolookearnestlyatthisrespectableperson"sstomach，Roderickassuredhimthathissnakewasacopper-headandhadbeengeneratedbytheimmensequantitiesofthatbasemetalwithwhichhedailydefiledhisfingers。Again，heassaultedamanofrubicundvisage，andtoldhimthatfewbosomserpentshadmoreofthedevilinthemthanthosethatbreedinthevatsofadistillery。ThenextwhomRoderickhonoredwithhisattentionwasadistinguishedclergyman，whohappenedjustthentobeengagedinatheologicalcontroversy，wherehumanwrathwasmoreperceptiblethandivineinspiration。
“Youhaveswallowedasnakeinacupofsacramentalwine，“quothhe。
“Profanewretch！“exclaimedthedivine；but，nevertheless，hishandstoletohisbreast。
Hemetapersonofsicklysensibility，who，onsomeearlydisappointment，hadretiredfromtheworld，andthereafterheldnointercoursewithhisfellow-men，butbroodedsullenlyorpassionatelyovertheirrevocablepast。Thisman"sveryheart，ifRoderickmightbebelieved，hadbeenchangedintoaserpent，whichwouldfinallytormentbothhimanditselftodeath。
Observingamarriedcouple，whosedomestictroubleswerematterofnotoriety，hecondoledwithbothonhavingmutuallytakenahouseaddertotheirbosoms。Toanenviousauthor，whodepreciatedworkswhichhecouldneverequal，hesaidthathissnakewastheslimiestandfilthiestofallthereptiletribe，butwasfortunatelywithoutasting。Amanofimpurelife，andabrazenface，askingRoderickiftherewereanyserpentinhisbreast，hetoldhimthattherewas，andofthesamespeciesthatoncetorturedDonRodrigo，theGoth。Hetookafairyounggirlbythehand，andgazingsadlyintohereyes，warnedherthatshecherishedaserpentofthedeadliestkindwithinhergentlebreast；andtheworldfoundthetruthofthoseominouswords，when，afewmonthsafterwards，thepoorgirldiedofloveandshame。Twoladies，rivalsinfashionablelifewhotormentedoneanotherwithathousandlittlestingsofwomanishspite，weregiventounderstandthateachoftheirheartswasanestofdiminutivesnakes，whichdidquiteasmuchmischiefasonegreatone。
ButnothingseemedtopleaseRoderickbetterthantolayholdofapersoninfectedwithjealousy，whichherepresentedasanenormousgreenreptile，withanice-coldlengthofbody，andthesharpeststingofanysnakesaveone。
“Andwhatoneisthat？“askedaby-stander，overhearinghim。
Itwasadark-browedmanwhoputthequestion；hehadanevasiveeye，whichinthecourseofadozenyearshadlookednomortaldirectlyintheface。Therewasanambiguityaboutthisperson"scharacter，——astainuponhisreputation，——yetnonecouldtellpreciselyofwhatnature，althoughthecitygossips，maleandfemale，whisperedthemostatrocioussurmises。Untilarecentperiodhehadfollowedthesea，andwas，infact，theveryshipmasterwhomGeorgeHerkimerhadencountered，undersuchsingularcircumstances，intheGrecianArchipelago。
“Whatbosomserpenthasthesharpeststing？“repeatedthisman；
butheputthequestionasifbyareluctantnecessity，andgrewpalewhilehewasutteringit。
“Whyneedyouask？“repliedRoderick，withalookofdarkintelligence。“Lookintoyourownbreast。Hark！myserpentbestirshimself！Heacknowledgesthepresenceofamasterfiend！“
Andthen，astheby-standersafterwardsaffirmed，ahissingsoundwasheard，apparentlyinRoderickElliston"sbreast。Itwassaid，too，thatanansweringhisscamefromthevitalsoftheshipmaster，asifasnakewereactuallylurkingthereandhadbeenarousedbythecallofitsbrotherreptile。Iftherewereinfactanysuchsound，itmighthavebeencausedbyamaliciousexerciseofventriloquismonthepartofRoderick。
Thusmakinghisownactualserpent——ifaserpentthereactuallywasinhisbosom——thetypeofeachman"sfatalerror，orhoardedsin，orunquietconscience，andstrikinghisstingsounremorsefullyintothesorestspot，wemaywellimaginethatRoderickbecamethepestofthecity。Nobodycouldeludehim——nonecouldwithstandhim。Hegrappledwiththeugliesttruththathecouldlayhishandon，andcompelledhisadversarytodothesame。Strangespectacleinhumanlifewhereitistheinstinctiveeffortofoneandalltohidethosesadrealities，andleavethemundisturbedbeneathaheapofsuperficialtopicswhichconstitutethematerialsofintercoursebetweenmanandman！ItwasnottobetoleratedthatRoderickEllistonshouldbreakthroughthetacitcompactbywhichtheworldhasdoneitsbesttosecurereposewithoutrelinquishingevil。Thevictimsofhismaliciousremarks，itistrue，hadbrothersenoughtokeepthemincountenance；for，byRoderick"stheory，everymortalbosomharboredeitherabroodofsmallserpentsoroneovergrownmonsterthathaddevouredalltherest。Stillthecitycouldnotbearthisnewapostle。Itwasdemandedbynearlyall，andparticularlybythemostrespectableinhabitants，thatRoderickshouldnolongerbepermittedtoviolatethereceivedrulesofdecorumbyobtrudinghisownbosomserpenttothepublicgaze，anddraggingthoseofdecentpeoplefromtheirlurkingplaces。
Accordingly，hisrelativesinterferedandplacedhiminaprivateasylumfortheinsane。Whenthenewswasnoisedabroad，itwasobservedthatmanypersonswalkedthestreetswithfreercountenancesandcoveredtheirbreastslesscarefullywiththeirhands。
Hisconfinement，however，althoughitcontributednotalittletothepeaceofthetown，operatedunfavorablyuponRoderickhimself。Insolitudehismelancholygrewmoreblackandsullen。