第5章
IseewhatHEwasupto；butIneversaidnothing，ofcourse。WhenI
gotbackwiththedukewehidthecanoe，andthentheysetdownonalog，andthekingtoldhimeverything，justliketheyoungfellowhadsaidit——everylastwordofit。Andallthetimehewasa-doingithetriedtotalklikeanEnglishman；andhedoneitprettywell，too，foraslouch。
Ican”timitatehim，andsoIain”ta-goingtotryto；buthereallydoneitprettygood。Thenhesays：
“Howareyouonthedeefanddumb，Bilgewater？“
Thedukesaid，leavehimaloneforthat；saidhehadplayedadeefanddumbpersononthehistronicboards。Sothentheywaitedforasteamboat。
Aboutthemiddleoftheafternoonacoupleoflittleboatscomealong，buttheydidn”tcomefromhighenoughuptheriver；butatlasttherewasabigone，andtheyhailedher。Shesentoutheryawl，andwewentaboard，andshewasfromCincinnati；andwhentheyfoundweonlywantedtogofourorfivemiletheywasboomingmad，andgaveusacussing，andsaidtheywouldn”tlandus。Butthekingwasca”m。Hesays：
“Ifgentlemenkinaffordtopayadollaramileapiecetobetookonandputoffinayawl，asteamboatkinaffordtocarry”em，can”tit？“
Sotheysofteneddownandsaiditwasallright；andwhenwegottothevillagetheyyawledusashore。Abouttwodozenmenflockeddownwhentheyseetheyawla-coming，andwhenthekingsays：
“Kinanyofyougentlementellmewher”Mr。PeterWilkslives？“theygiveaglanceatoneanother，andnoddedtheirheads，asmuchastosay，“Whatd”Itellyou？“Thenoneofthemsays，kindofsoftandgentle：
“I”msorry。sir，butthebestwecandoistotellyouwhereheDID
liveyesterdayevening。”
Suddenaswinkingtheorneryoldcreturwentantosmash，andfellupagainsttheman，andputhischinonhisshoulder，andcrieddownhisback，andsays：
“Alas，alas，ourpoorbrother——gone，andwenevergottoseehim；
oh，it”stoo，toohard！“
Thenheturnsaround，blubbering，andmakesalotofidioticsignstothedukeonhishands，andblamedifhedidn”tdropacarpet-bagandbustouta-crying。Iftheywarn”tthebeatenestlot，themtwofrauds，thateverIstruck。
Well，themengatheredaroundandsympathizedwiththem，andsaidallsortsofkindthingstothem，andcarriedtheircarpet-bagsupthehillforthem，andletthemleanonthemandcry，andtoldthekingallabouthisbrother”slastmoments，andthekinghetolditalloveragainonhishandstotheduke，andbothofthemtookonaboutthatdeadtannerlikethey”dlostthetwelvedisciples。Well，ifeverIstruckanythinglikeit，I”manigger。Itwasenoughtomakeabodyashamedofthehumanrace。
TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn-Chapter25Chapter25THEnewswasallovertownintwominutes，andyoucouldseethepeopletearingdownontherunfromeverywhichway，someofthemputtingontheircoatsastheycome。Prettysoonwewasinthemiddleofacrowd，andthenoiseofthetrampingwaslikeasoldiermarch。Thewindowsanddooryardswasfull；andeveryminutesomebodywouldsay，overafence：
“IsitTHEM？“
Andsomebodytrottingalongwiththegangwouldanswerbackandsay：
“Youbetitis。”
Whenwegottothehousethestreetinfrontofitwaspacked，andthethreegirlswasstandinginthedoor。MaryJaneWASred-headed，butthatdon”tmakenodifference，shewasmostawfulbeautiful，andherfaceandhereyeswasalllituplikeglory，shewassogladheruncleswascome。
Thekinghespreadhisarms，andMarsyJaneshejumpedforthem，andthehare-lipjumpedfortheduke，andtheretheyHADit！Everybodymost，leastwayswomen，criedforjoytoseethemmeetagainatlastandhavesuchgoodtimes。
Thenthekinghehunchedthedukeprivate——Iseehimdoit——andthenhelookedaroundandseethecoffin，overinthecornerontwochairs；
sothenhimandtheduke，withahandacrosseachother”sshoulder，andt”otherhandtotheireyes，walkedslowandsolemnoverthere，everybodydroppingbacktogivethemroom，andallthetalkandnoisestopping，peoplesaying“Sh！“andallthementakingtheirhatsoffanddroopingtheirheads，soyoucouldaheardapinfall。Andwhentheygottheretheybentoverandlookedinthecoffin，andtookonesight，andthentheybustouta-cryingsoyoucouldaheardthemtoOrleans，most；andthentheyputtheirarmsaroundeachother”snecks，andhungtheirchinsovereachother”sshoulders；
andthenforthreeminutes，ormaybefour，Ineverseetwomenleakthewaytheydone。And，mindyou，everybodywasdoingthesame；andtheplacewasthatdampIneverseeanythinglikeit。Thenoneofthemgotononesideofthecoffin，andt”otheront”otherside，andtheykneeleddownandrestedtheirforeheadsonthecoffin，andletontoprayalltothemselves。
Well，whenitcometothatitworkedthecrowdlikeyouneverseeanythinglikeit，andeverybodybrokedownandwenttosobbingrightoutloud——
thepoorgirls，too；andeverywoman，nearly，wentuptothegirls，withoutsayingaword，andkissedthem，solemn，ontheforehead，andthenputtheirhandontheirhead，andlookeduptowardsthesky，withthetearsrunningdown，andthenbustedoutandwentoffsobbingandswabbing，andgivethenextwomanashow。Ineverseeanythingsodisgusting。
Well，byandbythekinghegetsupandcomesforwardalittle，andworkshimselfupandslobbersoutaspeech，allfulloftearsandflapdoodleaboutitsbeingasoretrialforhimandhispoorbrothertolosethediseased，andtomissseeingdiseasedaliveafterthelongjourneyoffourthousandmile，butit”satrialthat”ssweetenedandsanctifiedtousbythisdearsympathyandtheseholytears，andsohethanksthemoutofhisheartandoutofhisbrother”sheart，becauseoutoftheirmouthstheycan”t，wordsbeingtooweakandcold，andallthatkindofrotandslush，tillitwasjustsickening；andthenheblubbersoutapiousgoody-goodyAmen，andturnshimselflooseandgoestocryingfittobust。
Andtheminutethewordswereoutofhismouthsomebodyoverinthecrowdstruckupthedoxolojer，andeverybodyjoinedinwithalltheirmight，anditjustwarmedyouupandmadeyoufeelasgoodaschurchlettingout。
Musicisagoodthing；andafterallthatsoul-butterandhogwashIneverseeitfreshenupthingsso，andsoundsohonestandbully。
Thenthekingbeginstoworkhisjawagain，andsayshowhimandhisnieceswouldbegladifafewofthemainprincipalfriendsofthefamilywouldtakesupperherewiththemthisevening，andhelpsetupwiththeashesofthediseased；andsaysifhispoorbrotherlayingyondercouldspeakheknowswhohewouldname，fortheywasnamesthatwasverydeartohim，andmentionedofteninhisletters；andsohewillnamethesame，towit，asfollows，vizz。：——Rev。Mr。Hobson，andDeaconLotHovey，andMr。BenRucker，andAbnerShackleford，andLeviBell，andDr。Robinson，andtheirwives，andthewidowBartley。
Rev。HobsonandDr。Robinsonwasdowntotheendofthetowna-huntingtogether——thatis，Imeanthedoctorwasshippingasickmantot”otherworld，andthepreacherwaspintinghimright。LawyerBellwasawayuptoLouisvilleonbusiness。Buttherestwasonhand，andsotheyallcomeandshookhandswiththekingandthankedhimandtalkedtohim；andthentheyshookhandswiththedukeanddidn”tsaynothing，butjustkepta-smilingandbobbingtheirheadslikeapasselofsapheadswhilsthemadeallsortsofsignswithhishandsandsaid“Goo-goo——goo-goo-goo“allthetime，likeababythatcan”ttalk。
Sothekingheblatteredalong，andmanagedtoinquireaboutprettymucheverybodyanddogintown，byhisname，andmentionedallsortsoflittlethingsthathappenedonetimeoranotherinthetown，ortoGeorge”sfamily，ortoPeter。AndhealwaysletonthatPeterwrotehimthethings；
butthatwasalie：hegoteveryblessedoneofthemoutofthatyoungflatheadthatwecanoeduptothesteamboat。
ThenMaryJaneshefetchedtheletterherfatherleftbehind，andthekinghereaditoutloudandcriedoverit。Itgivethedwelling-houseandthreethousanddollars，gold，tothegirls；anditgivethetanyard(whichwasdoingagoodbusiness)，alongwithsomeotherhousesandland(worthaboutseventhousand)，andthreethousanddollarsingoldtoHarveyandWilliam，andtoldwherethesixthousandcashwashiddowncellar。
Sothesetwofraudssaidthey”dgoandfetchitup，andhaveeverythingsquareandaboveboard；andtoldmetocomewithacandle。Weshutthecellardoorbehindus，andwhentheyfoundthebagtheyspiltitoutonthefloor，anditwasalovelysight，allthemyaller-boys。My，thewaytheking”seyesdidshine！Heslapsthedukeontheshoulderandsays：
“Oh，THISain”tbullynornoth”n！Oh，no，Ireckonnot！Why，Biljy，itbeatstheNonesuch，DON”Tit？“
Thedukealloweditdid。Theypawedtheyallerboys，andsiftedthemthroughtheirfingersandletthemjingledownonthefloor；andthekingsays：
“Itain”tnousetalkin”；bein”brotherstoarichdeadmanandrepresentativesoffurrinheirsthat”sgotleftisthelineforyouandme，Bilge。Thishyercomesoftrust”ntoProvidence。It”sthebestway，inthelongrun。
I”vetried”emall，andther”ain”tnobetterway。”
Mosteverybodywouldabeensatisfiedwiththepile，andtookitontrust；butno，theymustcountit。Sotheycountsit，anditcomesoutfourhundredandfifteendollarsshort。Saystheking：
“Dernhim，Iwonderwhathedonewiththatfourhundredandfifteendollars？“
Theyworriedoverthatawhile，andransackedallaroundforit。Thenthedukesays：
“Well，hewasaprettysickman，andlikelyhemadeamistake——Ireckonthat”sthewayofit。Thebestway”stoletitgo，andkeepstillaboutit。Wecanspareit。”
“Oh，shucks，yes，wecanSPAREit。Idon”tk”yernoth”n”boutthat——
it”stheCOUNTI”mthinkin”about。Wewanttobeawfulsquareandopenandabove-boardhere，youknow。Wewanttolugthish-yermoneyupstairsandcountitbeforeeverybody——thenther”ain”tnoth”nsuspicious。Butwhenthedeadmansaysther”ssixthous”ndollars，youknow，wedon”twantto”
“Holdon，“saystheduke。“Le”smakeupthedeffisit，“andhebeguntohauloutyaller-boysoutofhispocket。
“It”samostamaz”n”goodidea，duke——youHAVEgotarattlin”cleverheadonyou，“saystheking。“BlestiftheoldNonesuchain”taheppin”
usoutagin，“andHEbeguntohauloutyaller-jacketsandstackthemup。
Itmostbustedthem，buttheymadeupthesixthousandcleanandclear。
“Say，“saystheduke，“Igotanotheridea。Le”sgoupstairsandcountthismoney，andthentakeandGIVEITTOTHEGIRLS。”
“Goodland，duke，lemmehugyou！It”sthemostdazzlingidea”ateveramanstruck。Youhavecert”nlygotthemostastonishin”headIeversee。
Oh，thisisthebossdodge，ther”ain”tnomistake”boutit。Let”emfetchalongtheirsuspicionsnowiftheywantto——this”lllay”emout。”
Whenwegotup-stairseverybodygetheredaroundthetable，andthekinghecounteditandstackeditup，threehundreddollarsinapile——twentyelegantlittlepiles。Everybodylookedhungryatit，andlickedtheirchops。
Thentheyrakeditintothebagagain，andIseethekingbegintoswellhimselfupforanotherspeech。Hesays：
“Friendsall，mypoorbrotherthatlaysyonderhasdonegenerousbythemthat”sleftbehindinthevaleofsorrers。Hehasdonegenerousbytheseyerpoorlittlelambsthathelovedandsheltered，andthat”sleftfatherlessandmotherless。Yes，andwethatknowedhimknowsthathewouldadoneMOREgenerousby”emifhehadn”tbenafeardo”woundin”hisdearWilliamandme。Now，WOULDN”The？Ther”ain”tnoquestion”boutitinMY
mind。Well，then，whatkindo”brotherswoulditbethat”dstandinhiswayatsechatime？Andwhatkindo”uncleswoulditbethat”drob——
yes，ROB——sechpoorsweetlambsasthese”athelovedsoatsechatime？
IfIknowWilliam——andITHINKIdo——he——well，I”lljestaskhim。”
Heturnsaroundandbeginstomakealotofsignstothedukewithhishands，andthedukehelooksathimstupidandleatherheadedawhile；thenallofasuddenheseemstocatchhismeaning，andjumpsfortheking，goo-gooingwithallhismightforjoy，andhugshimaboutfifteentimesbeforeheletsup。Thenthekingsays，“Iknowedit；IreckonTHAT”llconvinceanybodythewayHEfeelsaboutit。Here，MaryJane，Susan，Joanner，takethemoney——takeitALL。It”sthegiftofhimthatlaysyonder，coldbutjoyful。”
MaryJaneshewentforhim，Susanandthehare-lipwentfortheduke，andthensuchanotherhuggingandkissingIneverseeyet。Andeverybodycrowdedupwiththetearsintheireyes，andmostshookthehandsoffofthemfrauds，sayingallthetime：
“YouDEARgoodsouls！——howLOVELY！——howCOULDyou！“
Well，then，prettysoonallhandsgottotalkingaboutthediseasedagain，andhowgoodhewas，andwhatalosshewas，andallthat；andbeforelongabigiron-jawedmanworkedhimselfintherefromoutside，andstooda-listeningandlooking，andnotsayinganything；andnobodysayinganythingtohimeither，becausethekingwastalkingandtheywasallbusylistening。
Thekingwassaying——inthemiddleofsomethinghe”dstartedinon——
“——theybein”particklerfriendso”thediseased。That”swhythey”reinvitedherethisevenin”；buttomorrowwewantALLtocome——everybody；
forherespectedeverybody，helikedeverybody，andsoit”sfittenthathisfuneralorgiessh”dbepublic。”
Andsohewenta-mooningonandon，likingtohearhimselftalk，andeverylittlewhilehefetchedinhisfuneralorgiesagain，tillthedukehecouldn”tstanditnomore；sohewritesonalittlescrapofpaper，“OBSEQUIES，youoldfool，“andfoldsitup，andgoestogoo-gooingandreachingitoverpeople”sheadstohim。Thekinghereadsitandputsitinhispocket，andsays：
“PoorWilliam，afflictedasheis，hisHEART”Saluzright。Asksmetoinviteeverybodytocometothefuneral——wantsmetomake”emallwelcome。
Butheneedn”taworried——itwasjestwhatIwasat。”
Thenheweavesalongagain，perfectlyca”m，andgoestodroppinginhisfuneralorgiesagaineverynowandthen，justlikehedonebefore。
Andwhenhedoneitthethirdtimehesays：
“Isayorgies，notbecauseit”sthecommonterm，becauseitain”t——
obsequiesbein”thecommonterm——butbecauseorgiesistherightterm。
Obsequiesain”tusedinEnglandnomorenow——it”sgoneout。WesayorgiesnowinEngland。Orgiesisbetter，becauseitmeansthethingyou”reaftermoreexact。It”sawordthat”smadeupout”ntheGreekORGO，outside，open，abroad；andtheHebrewJEESUM，toplant，coverup；henceinTER。So，yousee，funeralorgiesisanopenerpublicfuneral。”
HewastheWORSTIeverstruck。Well，theironjawedmanhelaughedrightinhisface。Everybodywasshocked。Everybodysays，“Why，DOCTOR！“andAbnerShacklefordsays：
“Why，Robinson，hain”tyouheardthenews？ThisisHarveyWilks。”
Thekinghesmiledeager，andshovedouthisflapper，andsays：
“Isitmypoorbrother”sdeargoodfriendandphysician？I”
“Keepyourhandsoffofme！“saysthedoctor。“YOUtalklikeanEnglishman，DON”Tyou？It”stheworstimitationIeverheard。YOUPeterWilks”sbrother！
You”reafraud，that”swhatyouare！“
Well，howtheyalltookon！Theycrowdedaroundthedoctorandtriedtoquiethimdown，andtriedtoexplaintohimandtellhimhowHarvey”dshowedinfortywaysthatheWASHarvey，andknowedeverybodybyname，andthenamesoftheverydogs，andbeggedandBEGGEDhimnottohurtHarvey”sfeelingsandthepoorgirl”sfeelings，andallthat。Butitwarn”tnouse；
hestormedrightalong，andsaidanymanthatpretendedtobeanEnglishmanandcouldn”timitatethelingonobetterthanwhathedidwasafraudandaliar。Thepoorgirlswashangingtothekingandcrying；andallofasuddenthedoctorupsandturnsonTHEM。Hesays：
“Iwasyourfather”sfriend，andI”myourfriend；andIwarnyouasafriend，andanhonestonethatwantstoprotectyouandkeepyououtofharmandtrouble，toturnyourbacksonthatscoundrelandhavenothingtodowithhim，theignoranttramp，withhisidioticGreekandHebrew，ashecallsit。Heisthethinnestkindofanimpostor——hascomeherewithalotofemptynamesandfactswhichhepickedupsomewheres，andyoutakethemforPROOFS，andarehelpedtofoolyourselvesbythesefoolishfriendshere，whooughttoknowbetter。MaryJaneWilks，youknowmeforyourfriend，andforyourunselfishfriend，too。Nowlistentome；turnthispitifulrascalout——IBEGyoutodoit。Willyou？“
MaryJanestraightenedherselfup，andmy，butshewashandsome！Shesays：
“HEREismyanswer。”Shehoveupthebagofmoneyandputitintheking”shands，andsays，“Takethissixthousanddollars，andinvestformeandmysistersanywayyouwantto，anddon”tgiveusnoreceiptforit。”
Thensheputherarmaroundthekingononeside，andSusanandthehare-lipdonethesameontheother。Everybodyclappedtheirhandsandstompedonthefloorlikeaperfectstorm，whilstthekinghelduphisheadandsmiledproud。Thedoctorsays：
“Allright；IwashMYhandsofthematter。ButIwarnyouallthatatime”scomingwhenyou”regoingtofeelsickwheneveryouthinkofthisday。”Andawayhewent。
“Allright，doctor，“saystheking，kindermockinghim；“we”lltryandget”emtosendforyou；“whichmadethemalllaugh，andtheysaiditwasaprimegoodhit。
TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn-Chapter26Chapter26WELL，whentheywasallgonethekingheasksMaryJanehowtheywasoffforsparerooms，andshesaidshehadonespareroom，whichwoulddoforUncleWilliam，andshe”dgiveherownroomtoUncleHarvey，whichwasalittlebigger，andshewouldturnintotheroomwithhersistersandsleeponacot；andupgarretwasalittlecubby，withapalletinit。Thekingsaidthecubbywoulddoforhisvalley——meaningme。
SoMaryJanetookusup，andsheshowedthemtheirrooms，whichwasplainbutnice。Shesaidshe”dhaveherfrocksandalotofothertrapstookoutofherroomiftheywasinUncleHarvey”sway，buthesaidtheywarn”t。Thefrockswashungalongthewall，andbeforethemwasacurtainmadeoutofcalicothathungdowntothefloor。Therewasanoldhairtrunkinonecorner，andaguitar-boxinanother，andallsortsoflittleknickknacksandjimcracksaround，likegirlsbriskenuparoomwith。Thekingsaiditwasallthemorehomelyandmorepleasanterforthesefixings，andsodon”tdisturbthem。Theduke”sroomwasprettysmall，butplentygoodenough，andsowasmycubby。
Thatnighttheyhadabigsupper，andallthemmenandwomenwasthere，andIstoodbehindthekingandtheduke”schairsandwaitedonthem，andtheniggerswaitedontherest。MaryJaneshesetattheheadofthetable，withSusanalongsideofher，andsaidhowbadthebiscuitswas，andhowmeanthepreserveswas，andhoworneryandtoughthefriedchickenswas——andallthatkindofrot，thewaywomenalwaysdofortoforceoutcompliments；
andthepeopleallknowedeverythingwastiptop，andsaidso——said“HowDOyougetbiscuitstobrownsonice？“and“Where，fortheland”ssake，DIDyougettheseamaz”npickles？“andallthatkindofhumbugtalky-talk，justthewaypeoplealwaysdoesatasupper，youknow。
Andwhenitwasalldonemeandthehare-liphadsupperinthekitchenoffoftheleavings，whilsttheotherswashelpingtheniggerscleanupthethings。Thehare-lipshegottopumpingmeaboutEngland，andblestifIdidn”tthinktheicewasgettingmightythinsometimes。Shesays：
“Didyoueverseetheking？“
“Who？WilliamFourth？Well，IbetIhave——hegoestoourchurch。”
Iknowedhewasdeadyearsago，butIneverleton。SowhenIsayshegoestoourchurch，shesays：
“What——regular？“
“Yes——regular。Hispew”srightoveroppositeourn——ont”othersidethepulpit。”
“IthoughthelivedinLondon？“
“Well，hedoes。WhereWOULDhelive？“
“ButIthoughtYOUlivedinSheffield？“
IseeIwasupastump。Ihadtoletontogetchokedwithachickenbone，soastogettimetothinkhowtogetdownagain。ThenIsays：
“Imeanhegoestoourchurchregularwhenhe”sinSheffield。That”sonlyinthesummertime，whenhecomestheretotaketheseabaths。”
“Why，howyoutalk——Sheffieldain”tonthesea。”
“Well，whosaiditwas？“
“Why，youdid。”
“IDIDN”Tnuther。”
“Youdid！“
“Ididn”t。”
“Youdid。”
“Ineversaidnothingofthekind。”
“Well，whatDIDyousay，then？“
“SaidhecometotaketheseaBATHS——that”swhatIsaid。”
“Well，then，how”shegoingtotaketheseabathsifitain”tonthesea？“
“Lookyhere，“Isays；“didyoueverseeanyCongress-water？“
“Yes。”
“Well，didyouhavetogotoCongresstogetit？“
“Why，no。”
“Well，neitherdoesWilliamFourthhavetogototheseatogetaseabath。”
“Howdoeshegetit，then？“
“GetsitthewaypeopledownheregetsCongresswater——inbarrels。
ThereinthepalaceatSheffieldthey”vegotfurnaces，andhewantshiswaterhot。Theycan”tbilethatamountofwaterawayoffthereatthesea。
Theyhaven”tgotnoconveniencesforit。”
“Oh，Isee，now。Youmightasaidthatinthefirstplaceandsavedtime。”
WhenshesaidthatIseeIwasoutofthewoodsagain，andsoIwascomfortableandglad。Next，shesays：
“Doyougotochurch，too？“
“Yes——regular。”
“Wheredoyouset？“
“Why，inourpew。”
“WHOSEpew？“
“Why，OURN——yourUncleHarvey”s。”
“His”n？WhatdoesHEwantwithapew？“
“Wantsittosetin。WhatdidyouRECKONhewantedwithit？“
“Why，Ithoughthe”dbeinthepulpit。”
Rothim，Iforgothewasapreacher。IseeIwasupastumpagain，soIplayedanotherchickenboneandgotanotherthink。ThenIsays：
“Blameit，doyousupposethereain”tbutonepreachertoachurch？“
“Why，whatdotheywantwithmore？“
“What！——topreachbeforeaking？Ineverdidseesuchagirlasyou。
Theydon”thavenolessthanseventeen。”
“Seventeen！Myland！Why，Iwouldn”tsetoutsuchastringasthat，notifINEVERgottoglory。Itmusttake”emaweek。”
“Shucks，theydon”tALLof”empreachthesameday——onlyONEof”em。”
“Well，then，whatdoestherestof”emdo？“
“Oh，nothingmuch。Lollaround，passtheplate——andonethingoranother。
Butmainlytheydon”tdonothing。”
“Well，then，whataretheyFOR？“
“Why，they”reforSTYLE。Don”tyouknownothing？“
“Well，Idon”tWANTtoknownosuchfoolishnessasthat。HowisservantstreatedinEngland？Dotheytreat”embetter”nwetreatourniggers？“
“NO！Aservantain”tnobodythere。Theytreatthemworsethandogs。”
“Don”ttheygive”emholidays，thewaywedo，ChristmasandNewYear”sweek，andFourthofJuly？“
“Oh，justlisten！AbodycouldtellYOUhain”teverbeentoEnglandbythat。Why，Hare-l——why，Joanna，theyneverseeaholidayfromyear”sendtoyear”send；nevergotothecircus，northeater，norniggershows，nornowheres。”
“Norchurch？“
“Norchurch。”
“ButYOUalwayswenttochurch。”
Well，Iwasgoneupagain。IforgotIwastheoldman”sservant。ButnextminuteIwhirledinonakindofanexplanationhowavalleywasdifferentfromacommonservantandHADtogotochurchwhetherhewantedtoornot，andsetwiththefamily，onaccountofitsbeingthelaw。ButIdidn”tdoitprettygood，andwhenIgotdoneIseeshewarn”tsatisfied。Shesays：
“Honestinjun，now，hain”tyoubeentellingmealotoflies？“
“Honestinjun，“saysI。
“Noneofitatall？“
“Noneofitatall。Notalieinit，“saysI。
“Layyourhandonthisbookandsayit。”
Iseeitwarn”tnothingbutadictionary，soIlaidmyhandonitandsaidit。Sothenshelookedalittlebettersatisfied，andsays：
“Well，then，I”llbelievesomeofit；butIhopetograciousifI”llbelievetherest。”
“Whatisityouwon”tbelieve，Joe？“saysMaryJane，steppinginwithSusanbehindher。“Itain”trightnorkindforyoutotalksotohim，andhimastrangerandsofarfromhispeople。Howwouldyouliketobetreatedso？“
“That”salwaysyourway，Maim——alwayssailingintohelpsomebodybeforethey”rehurt。Ihain”tdonenothingtohim。He”stoldsomestretchers，Ireckon，andIsaidIwouldn”tswallowitall；andthat”severybitandgrainIDIDsay。Ireckonhecanstandalittlethinglikethat，can”the？“
“Idon”tcarewhether”twaslittleorwhether”twasbig；he”shereinourhouseandastranger，anditwasn”tgoodofyoutosayit。Ifyouwasinhisplaceitwouldmakeyoufeelashamed；andsoyououghtn”ttosayathingtoanotherpersonthatwillmakeTHEMfeelashamed。”
“Why，Maim，hesaid”
“Itdon”tmakenodifferencewhatheSAID——thatain”tthething。ThethingisforyoutotreathimKIND，andnotbesayingthingstomakehimrememberheain”tinhisowncountryandamongsthisownfolks。”
Isaystomyself，THISisagirlthatI”mlettingthatoldreptlerobherofhermoney！
ThenSusanSHEwaltzedin；andifyou”llbelieveme，shedidgiveHare-lipharkfromthetomb！
SaysItomyself，andthisisANOTHERonethatI”mlettinghimrobherofhermoney！
ThenMaryJaneshetookanotherinning，andwentinsweetandlovelyagain——whichwasherway；butwhenshegotdonetherewarn”thardlyanythinglefto”poorHare-lip。Soshehollered。
“Allright，then，“saystheothergirls；“youjustaskhispardon。”
Shedoneit，too；andshedoneitbeautiful。Shedoneitsobeautifulitwasgoodtohear；andIwishedIcouldtellherathousandlies，soshecoulddoitagain。
Isaystomyself，thisisANOTHERonethatI”mlettinghimrobherofhermoney。AndwhenshegotthroughtheyalljestlaidtheirselvesouttomakemefeelathomeandknowIwasamongstfriends。IfeltsoorneryandlowdownandmeanthatIsaystomyself，mymind”smadeup；I”llhivethatmoneyforthemorbust。
SothenIlitout——forbed，Isaid，meaningsometimeoranother。
WhenIgotbymyselfIwenttothinkingthethingover。Isaystomyself，shallIgotothatdoctor，private，andblowonthesefrauds？No——thatwon”tdo。Hemighttellwhotoldhim；thenthekingandthedukewouldmakeitwarmforme。ShallIgo，private，andtellMaryJane？No——Idasn”tdoit。Herfacewouldgivethemahint，sure；they”vegotthemoney，andthey”dsliderightoutandgetawaywithit。IfshewastofetchinhelpI”dgetmixedupinthebusinessbeforeitwasdonewith，Ijudge。No；
thereain”tnogoodwaybutone。Igottostealthatmoney，somehow；andIgottostealitsomewaythattheywon”tsuspicionthatIdoneit。They”vegotagoodthinghere，andtheyain”ta-goingtoleavetillthey”veplayedthisfamilyandthistownforallthey”reworth，soI”llfindachancetimeenough。I”llstealitandhideit；andbyandby，whenI”mawaydowntheriver，I”llwritealetterandtellMaryJanewhereit”shid。ButI
betterhiveittonightifIcan，becausethedoctormaybehasn”tletupasmuchasheletsonhehas；hemightscarethemoutofhereyet。
So，thinksI，I”llgoandsearchthemrooms。Upstairsthehallwasdark，butIfoundtheduke”sroom，andstartedtopawarounditwithmyhands；
butIrecollecteditwouldn”tbemuchlikethekingtoletanybodyelsetakecareofthatmoneybuthisownself；sothenIwenttohisroomandbeguntopawaroundthere。ButIseeIcouldn”tdonothingwithoutacandle，andIdasn”tlightone，ofcourse。SoIjudgedI”dgottodotheotherthing——layforthemandeavesdrop。AboutthattimeIhearstheirfootstepscoming，andwasgoingtoskipunderthebed；Ireachedforit，butitwasn”twhereIthoughtitwouldbe；butItouchedthecurtainthathidMaryJane”sfrocks，soIjumpedinbehindthatandsnuggledinamongstthegowns，andstoodthereperfectlystill。
Theycomeinandshutthedoor；andthefirstthingthedukedonewastogetdownandlookunderthebed。ThenIwasgladIhadn”tfoundthebedwhenIwantedit。Andyet，youknow，it”skindofnaturaltohideunderthebedwhenyouareuptoanythingprivate。Theysetsdownthen，andthekingsays：
“Well，whatisit？Andcutitmiddlin”short，becauseit”sbetterforustobedowntherea-whoopin”upthemournin”thanupheregivin””emachancetotalkusover。”
“Well，thisisit，Capet。Iain”teasy；Iain”tcomfortable。Thatdoctorlaysonmymind。Iwantedtoknowyourplans。I”vegotanotion，andI
thinkit”sasoundone。”
“Whatisit，duke？“
“Thatwebetterglideoutofthisbeforethreeinthemorning，andclipitdowntheriverwithwhatwe”vegot。Specially，seeingwegotitsoeasy——GIVENbacktous，flungatourheads，asyoumaysay，whenofcourseweallowedtohavetostealitback。I”mforknockingoffandlightingout。”
Thatmademefeelprettybad。Aboutanhourortwoagoitwouldabeenalittledifferent，butnowitmademefeelbadanddisappointed，Thekingripsoutandsays：
“What！Andnotsellouttheresto”theproperty？Marchofflikeapasseloffoolsandleaveeightorninethous”n”dollars”wortho”propertylayin”
aroundjestsufferin”tobescoopedin？——andallgood，salablestuff，too。”
Thedukehegrumbled；saidthebagofgoldwasenough，andhedidn”twanttogonodeeper——didn”twanttorobalotoforphansofEVERYTHING
theyhad。
“Why，howyoutalk！“saystheking。“Wesha”n”trob”emofnothingatallbutjestthismoney。ThepeoplethatBUYSthepropertyisthesuff”rers；
becauseassoon”sit”sfoundout”atwedidn”townit——whichwon”tbelongafterwe”veslid——thesalewon”tbevalid，andit”llallgobacktotheestate。Theseyerorphans”llgittheirhousebackagin，andthat”senoughforTHEM；they”reyoungandspry，andk”neasyearnalivin”。THEY
ain”ta-gointosuffer。Why，jestthink——there”sthous”n”sandthous”n”sthatain”tnighsowelloff。Blessyou，THEYain”tgotnoth”n”tocomplainof。”
Well，thekinghetalkedhimblind；soatlasthegivein，andsaidallright，butsaidhebelieveditwasblamedfoolishnesstostay，andthatdoctorhangingoverthem。Butthekingsays：
“Cussthedoctor！Whatdowek”yerforHIM？Hain”twegotallthefoolsintownonourside？Andain”tthatabigenoughmajorityinanytown？“
Sotheygotreadytogodownstairsagain。Thedukesays：
“Idon”tthinkweputthatmoneyinagoodplace。”
Thatcheeredmeup。I”dbeguntothinkIwarn”tgoingtogetahintofnokindtohelpme。Thekingsays：
“Why？“
“BecauseMaryJane”llbeinmourningfromthisout；andfirstyouknowtheniggerthatdoesuptheroomswillgetanordertoboxthesedudsupandput”emaway；anddoyoureckonaniggercanrunacrossmoneyandnotborrowsomeofit？“
“Yourhead”slevelagin，duke，“saystheking；andhecomesa-fumblingunderthecurtaintwoorthreefootfromwhereIwas。Istucktighttothewallandkeptmightystill，thoughquivery；andIwonderedwhatthemfellowswouldsaytomeiftheycatchedme；andItriedtothinkwhatI”dbetterdoiftheydidcatchme。ButthekinghegotthebagbeforeIcouldthinkmorethanaboutahalfathought，andheneversuspicionedIwasaround。Theytookandshovedthebagthrougharipinthestrawtickthatwasunderthefeather-bed，andcrammeditinafootortwoamongstthestrawandsaiditwasallrightnow，becauseaniggeronlymakesupthefeather-bed，anddon”tturnoverthestrawtickonlyabouttwiceayear，andsoitwarn”tinnodangerofgettingstolenow。
ButIknowedbetter。Ihaditoutoftherebeforetheywashalf-waydownstairs。Igropedalonguptomycubby，andhidittheretillIcouldgetachancetodobetter。IjudgedIbetterhideitoutsideofthehousesomewheres，becauseiftheymissedittheywouldgivethehouseagoodransacking：Iknowedthatverywell。ThenIturnedin，withmyclothesallon；butIcouldn”tagonetosleepifI”dawantedto，Iwasinsuchasweattogetthroughwiththebusiness。ByandbyIheardthekingandthedukecomeup；soIrolledoffmypalletandlaidwithmychinatthetopofmyladder，andwaitedtoseeifanythingwasgoingtohappen。Butnothingdid。
SoIheldontillallthelatesoundshadquitandtheearlyoneshadn”tbegunyet；andthenIslippeddowntheladder。
TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn-Chapter27Chapter27ICREPTtotheirdoorsandlistened；theywassnoring。SoItiptoedalong，andgotdownstairsallright。Therewarn”tasoundanywheres。Ipeepedthroughacrackofthedining-roomdoor，andseethementhatwaswatchingthecorpseallsoundasleepontheirchairs。Thedoorwasopenintotheparlor，wherethecorpsewaslaying，andtherewasacandleinbothrooms。
Ipassedalong，andtheparlordoorwasopen；butIseetherewarn”tnobodyintherebuttheremaindersofPeter；soIshovedonby；butthefrontdoorwaslocked，andthekeywasn”tthere。JustthenIheardsomebodycomingdownthestairs，backbehindme。Irunintheparlorandtookaswiftlookaround，andtheonlyplaceIseetohidethebagwasinthecoffin。Thelidwasshovedalongaboutafoot，showingthedeadman”sfacedowninthere，withawetclothoverit，andhisshroudon。Ituckedthemoneybaginunderthelid，justdownbeyondwherehishandswascrossed，whichmademecreep，theywassocold，andthenIrunbackacrosstheroomandinbehindthedoor。
ThepersoncomingwasMaryJane。Shewenttothecoffin，verysoft，andkneeleddownandlookedin；thensheputupherhandkerchief，andI
seeshebeguntocry，thoughIcouldn”thearher，andherbackwastome。
Islidout，andasIpassedthedining-roomIthoughtI”dmakesurethemwatchershadn”tseenme；soIlookedthroughthecrack，andeverythingwasallright。Theyhadn”tstirred。
Islippeduptobed，feelingrutherblue，onaccountsofthethingplayingoutthatwayafterIhadtooksomuchtroubleandrunsomuchreskaboutit。SaysI，ifitcouldstaywhereitis，allright；becausewhenwegetdowntheriverahundredmileortwoIcouldwritebacktoMaryJane，andshecoulddighimupagainandgetit；butthatain”tthethingthat”sgoingtohappen；thethingthat”sgoingtohappenis，themoney”llbefoundwhentheycometoscrewonthelid。Thentheking”llgetitagain，andit”llbealongdaybeforehegivesanybodyanotherchancetosmouchitfromhim。OfcourseIWANTEDtoslidedownandgetitoutofthere，butIdasn”ttryit。Everyminuteitwasgettingearliernow，andprettysoonsomeofthemwatcherswouldbegintostir，andImightgetcatched——catchedwithsixthousanddollarsinmyhandsthatnobodyhadn”thiredmetotakecareof。Idon”twishtobemixedupinnosuchbusinessasthat，Isaystomyself。
WhenIgotdownstairsinthemorningtheparlorwasshutup，andthewatcherswasgone。Therewarn”tnobodyaroundbutthefamilyandthewidowBartleyandourtribe。Iwatchedtheirfacestoseeifanythinghadbeenhappening，butIcouldn”ttell。
Towardsthemiddleofthedaytheundertakercomewithhisman，andtheysetthecoffininthemiddleoftheroomonacoupleofchairs，andthensetallourchairsinrows，andborrowedmorefromtheneighborstillthehallandtheparlorandthedining-roomwasfull。Iseethecoffinlidwasthewayitwasbefore，butIdasn”tgotolookinunderit，withfolksaround。
Thenthepeoplebeguntoflockin，andthebeatsandthegirlstookseatsinthefrontrowattheheadofthecoffin，andforahalfanhourthepeoplefiledaroundslow，insinglerank，andlookeddownatthedeadman”sfaceaminute，andsomedroppedinatear，anditwasallverystillandsolemn，onlythegirlsandthebeatsholdinghandkerchiefstotheireyesandkeepingtheirheadsbent，andsobbingalittle。Therewarn”tnoothersoundbutthescrapingofthefeetonthefloorandblowingnoses——becausepeoplealwaysblowsthemmoreatafuneralthantheydoatotherplacesexceptchurch。
Whentheplacewaspackedfulltheundertakerheslidaroundinhisblackgloveswithhissoftysootheringways，puttingonthelasttouches，andgettingpeopleandthingsallship-shapeandcomfortable，andmakingnomoresoundthanacat。Heneverspoke；hemovedpeoplearound，hesqueezedinlateones，heopeneduppassageways，anddoneitwithnods，andsignswithhishands。Thenhetookhisplaceoveragainstthewall。Hewasthesoftest，glidingest，stealthiestmanIeversee；andtherewarn”tnomoresmiletohimthanthereistoaham。
Theyhadborrowedamelodeum——asickone；andwheneverythingwasreadyayoungwomansetdownandworkedit，anditwasprettyskreekyandcolicky，andeverybodyjoinedinandsung，andPeterwastheonlyonethathadagoodthing，accordingtomynotion。ThentheReverendHobsonopenedup，slowandsolemn，andbeguntotalk；andstraightoffthemostoutrageousrowbustedoutinthecellarabodyeverheard；itwasonlyonedog，buthemadeamostpowerfulracket，andhekeptituprightalong；theparsonhehadtostandthere，overthecoffin，andwait——youcouldn”thearyourselfthink。Itwasrightdownawkward，andnobodydidn”tseemtoknowwhattodo。Butprettysoontheyseethatlong-leggedundertakermakeasigntothepreacherasmuchastosay，“Don”tyouworry——justdependonme。”
Thenhestoopeddownandbeguntoglidealongthewall，justhisshouldersshowingoverthepeople”sheads。Soheglidedalong，andthepowwowandracketgettingmoreandmoreoutrageousallthetime；andatlast，whenhehadgonearoundtwosidesoftheroom，hedisappearsdowncellar。Theninabouttwosecondsweheardawhack，andthedoghefinishedupwithamostamazinghowlortwo，andtheneverythingwasdeadstill，andtheparsonbegunhissolemntalkwhereheleftoff。Inaminuteortwoherecomesthisundertaker”sbackandshouldersglidingalongthewallagain；
andsoheglidedandglidedaroundthreesidesoftheroom，andthenroseup，andshadedhismouthwithhishands，andstretchedhisneckouttowardsthepreacher，overthepeople”sheads，andsays，inakindofacoarsewhisper，“HEHADARAT！“Thenhedroopeddownandglidedalongthewallagaintohisplace。Youcouldseeitwasagreatsatisfactiontothepeople，becausenaturallytheywantedtoknow。Alittlethinglikethatdon”tcostnothing，andit”sjustthelittlethingsthatmakesamantobelookeduptoandliked。Therewarn”tnomorepopularmanintownthanwhatthatundertakerwas。
Well，thefuneralsermonwasverygood，butpisonlongandtiresome；
andthenthekingheshovedinandgotoffsomeofhisusualrubbage，andatlastthejobwasthrough，andtheundertakerbeguntosneakuponthecoffinwithhisscrew-driver。Iwasinasweatthen，andwatchedhimprettykeen。Buthenevermeddledatall；justslidthelidalongassoftasmush，andscreweditdowntightandfast。SothereIwas！Ididn”tknowwhetherthemoneywasinthereornot。So，saysI，s”posesomebodyhashoggedthatbagonthesly？——nowhowdoIknowwhethertowritetoMaryJaneornot？
S”poseshedughimupanddidn”tfindnothing，whatwouldshethinkofme？Blameit，Isays，Imightgethuntedupandjailed；I”dbetterlaylowandkeepdark，andnotwriteatall；thething”sawfulmixednow；tryingtobetterit，I”veworseneditahundredtimes，andIwishtogoodnessI”djustletitalone，dadfetchthewholebusiness！
Theyburiedhim，andwecomebackhome，andIwenttowatchingfacesagain——Icouldn”thelpit，andIcouldn”tresteasy。Butnothingcomeofit；thefacesdidn”ttellmenothing。
Thekinghevisitedaroundintheevening，andsweetenedeverybodyup，andmadehimselfeversofriendly；andhegiveouttheideathathiscongregationoverinEnglandwouldbeinasweatabouthim，sohemusthurryandsettleuptheestaterightawayandleaveforhome。Hewasverysorryhewassopushed，andsowaseverybody；theywishedhecouldstaylonger，buttheysaidtheycouldseeitcouldn”tbedone。AndhesaidofcoursehimandWilliamwouldtakethegirlshomewiththem；andthatpleasedeverybodytoo，becausethenthegirlswouldbewellfixedandamongsttheirownrelations；
anditpleasedthegirls，too——tickledthemsotheycleanforgottheyeverhadatroubleintheworld；andtoldhimtoselloutasquickashewantedto，theywouldbeready。Thempoorthingswasthatgladandhappyitmademyheartachetoseethemgettingfooledandliedtoso，butI
didn”tseenosafewayformetochipinandchangethegeneraltune。
Well，blamedifthekingdidn”tbillthehouseandtheniggersandallthepropertyforauctionstraightoff——saletwodaysafterthefuneral；
butanybodycouldbuyprivatebeforehandiftheywantedto。
Sothenextdayafterthefuneral，alongaboutnoontime，thegirls”
joygotthefirstjolt。Acoupleofniggertraderscomealong，andthekingsoldthemtheniggersreasonable，forthree-daydraftsastheycalledit，andawaytheywent，thetwosonsuptherivertoMemphis，andtheirmotherdowntherivertoOrleans。Ithoughtthempoorgirlsandthemniggerswouldbreaktheirheartsforgrief；theycriedaroundeachother，andtookonsoitmostmademedownsicktoseeit。Thegirlssaidtheyhadn”teverdreamedofseeingthefamilyseparatedorsoldawayfromthetown。Ican”tevergetitoutofmymemory，thesightofthempoormiserablegirlsandniggershangingaroundeachother”snecksandcrying；andIreckonIcouldn”tastooditall，butwouldahadtobustoutandtellonourgangifIhadn”tknowedthesalewarn”tnoaccountandtheniggerswouldbebackhomeinaweekortwo。
Thethingmadeabigstirinthetown，too，andagoodmanycomeoutflatfootedandsaiditwasscandaloustoseparatethemotherandthechildrenthatway。Itinjuredthefraudssome；buttheoldfoolhebulledrightalong，spiteofallthedukecouldsayordo，andItellyouthedukewaspowerfuluneasy。
Nextdaywasauctionday。Aboutbroaddayinthemorningthekingandthedukecomeupinthegarretandwokemeup，andIseebytheirlookthattherewastrouble。Thekingsays：
“Wasyouinmyroomnightbeforelast？“
“No，yourmajesty“——whichwasthewayIalwayscalledhimwhennobodybutourgangwarn”taround。
“Wasyouinthereyisterdayerlastnight？“
“No，yourmajesty。”
“Honorbright，now——nolies。”
“Honorbright，yourmajesty，I”mtellingyouthetruth。Ihain”tbeena-nearyourroomsinceMissMaryJanetookyouandthedukeandshowedittoyou。”
Thedukesays：
“Haveyouseenanybodyelsegointhere？“
“No，yourgrace，notasIremember，Ibelieve。”
“Stopandthink。”
Istudiedawhileandseemychance；thenIsays：
“Well，Iseetheniggersgointhereseveraltimes。”
Bothofthemgavealittlejump，andlookedliketheyhadn”teverexpectedit，andthenliketheyHAD。Thenthedukesays：
“What，allofthem？“
“No——leastways，notallatonce——thatis，Idon”tthinkIeverseethemallcomeOUTatoncebutjustonetime。”
“Hello！Whenwasthat？“
“Itwasthedaywehadthefuneral。Inthemorning。Itwarn”tearly，becauseIoverslept。Iwasjuststartingdowntheladder，andIseethem。”
“Well，goon，GOon！Whatdidtheydo？How”dtheyact？“
“Theydidn”tdonothing。Andtheydidn”tactanywaymuch，asfurasIsee。Theytiptoedaway；soIseen，easyenough，thatthey”dshovedintheretodoupyourmajesty”sroom，orsomething，s”posingyouwasup；
andfoundyouWARN”Tup，andsotheywashopingtoslideoutofthewayoftroublewithoutwakingyouup，iftheyhadn”talreadywakedyouup。”
“Greatguns，THISisago！“saystheking；andbothofthemlookedprettysickandtolerablesilly。Theystoodtherea-thinkingandscratchingtheirheadsaminute，andthedukehebustintoakindofalittleraspychuckle，andsays：
“Itdoesbeatallhowneattheniggersplayedtheirhand。TheyletontobeSORRYtheywasgoingoutofthisregion！AndIbelievedtheyWAS
sorry，andsodidyou，andsodideverybody。Don”tevertellMEanymorethataniggerain”tgotanyhistrionictalent。Why，thewaytheyplayedthatthingitwouldfoolANYBODY。Inmyopinion，there”safortunein”em。
IfIhadcapitalandatheater，Iwouldn”twantabetterlay-outthanthat——andherewe”vegoneandsold”emforasong。Yes，andain”tprivilegedtosingthesongyet。Say，whereISthatsong——thatdraft？“
“Inthebankfortobecollected。WhereWOULDitbe？“
“Well，THAT”Sallrightthen，thankgoodness。”
SaysI，kindoftimid-like：
“Issomethinggonewrong？“
Thekingwhirlsonmeandripsout：
“Noneo”yourbusiness！Youkeepyourheadshet，andmindy”rownaffairs——ifyougotany。Longasyou”reinthistowndon”tyouforgitTHAT——
youhear？“Thenhesaystotheduke，“Wegottojestswalleritandsaynoth”n”：mum”sthewordforUS。”
Astheywasstartingdowntheladderthedukehechucklesagain，andsays：
“QuicksalesANDsmallprofits！It”sagoodbusiness——yes。”
Thekingsnarlsaroundonhimandsays：
“Iwastryingtodoforthebestinsellin””emoutsoquick。Iftheprofitshasturnedouttobenone，lackin”considable，andnonetocarry，isitmyfaultanymore”nit”syourn？“
“Well，THEY”DbeinthishouseyetandweWOULDN”TifIcouldagotmyadvicelistenedto。”
Thekingsassedbackasmuchaswassafeforhim，andthenswappedaroundandlitintoMEagain。HegivemedownthebanksfornotcomingandTELLING
himIseetheniggerscomeoutofhisroomactingthatway——saidanyfoolwouldaKNOWEDsomethingwasup。AndthenwaltzedinandcussedHIMSELF
awhile，andsaiditallcomeofhimnotlayinglateandtakinghisnaturalrestthatmorning，andhe”dbeblamedifhe”deverdoitagain。Sotheywentoffa-jawing；andIfeltdreadfulgladI”dworkeditalloffontotheniggers，andyethadn”tdonetheniggersnoharmbyit。
TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn-Chapter28Chapter28BYandbyitwasgetting-uptime。SoIcomedowntheladderandstartedfordown-stairs；butasIcometothegirls”roomthedoorwasopen，andIseeMaryJanesettingbyheroldhairtrunk，whichwasopenandshe”dbeenpackingthingsinit——gettingreadytogotoEngland。Butshehadstoppednowwithafoldedgowninherlap，andhadherfaceinherhands，crying。Ifeltawfulbadtoseeit；ofcourseanybodywould。Iwentinthereandsays：
“MissMaryJane，youcan”ta-beartoseepeopleintrouble，andIcan”t——mostalways。Tellmeaboutit。”
Soshedoneit。Anditwastheniggers——Ijustexpectedit。ShesaidthebeautifultriptoEnglandwasmostaboutspoiledforher；shedidn”tknowHOWshewasevergoingtobehappythere，knowingthemotherandthechildrenwarn”tevergoingtoseeeachothernomore——andthenbustedoutbittererthanever，andflungupherhands，andsays：
“Oh，dear，dear，tothinktheyain”tEVERgoingtoseeeachotheranymore！“
“ButtheyWILL——andinsideoftwoweeks——andIKNOWit！“saysI。
Laws，itwasoutbeforeIcouldthink！AndbeforeIcouldbudgeshethrowsherarmsaroundmyneckandtoldmetosayitAGAIN，sayitAGAIN，sayitAGAIN！
IseeIhadspoketoosuddenandsaidtoomuch，andwasinacloseplace。
Iaskedhertoletmethinkaminute；andshesetthere，veryimpatientandexcitedandhandsome，butlookingkindofhappyandeased-up，likeapersonthat”shadatoothpulledout。SoIwenttostudyingitout。I
saystomyself，Ireckonabodythatupsandtellsthetruthwhenheisinatightplaceistakingconsiderablemanyresks，thoughIain”thadnoexperience，andcan”tsayforcertain；butitlookssotome，anyway；
andyethere”sacasewhereI”mblestifitdon”tlooktomelikethetruthisbetterandactulySAFERthanalie。Imustlayitbyinmymind，andthinkitoversometimeorother，it”ssokindofstrangeandunregular。
Ineverseenothinglikeit。Well，Isaystomyselfatlast，I”ma-goingtochanceit；I”llupandtellthetruththistime，thoughitdoesseemmostlikesettingdownonakagofpowderandtouchingitoffjusttoseewhereyou”llgoto。ThenIsays：
“MissMaryJane，isthereanyplaceoutoftownalittlewayswhereyoucouldgoandstaythreeorfourdays？“
“Yes；Mr。Lothrop”s。Why？“
“Nevermindwhyyet。IfI”lltellyouhowIknowtheniggerswillseeeachotheragaininsideoftwoweeks——hereinthishouse——andPROVE
howIknowit——willyougotoMr。Lothrop”sandstayfourdays？“
“Fourdays！“shesays；“I”llstayayear！“
“Allright，“Isays，“Idon”twantnothingmoreoutofYOUthanjustyourword——Idrutherhaveitthananotherman”skiss-the-Bible。”Shesmiledandreddenedupverysweet，andIsays，“Ifyoudon”tmindit，I”llshutthedoor——andboltit。”
ThenIcomebackandsetdownagain，andsays：
“Don”tyouholler。Justsetstillandtakeitlikeaman。Igottotellthetruth，andyouwanttobraceup，MissMary，becauseit”sabadkind，andgoingtobehardtotake，butthereain”tnohelpforit。Theseunclesofyournain”tnounclesatall；they”reacoupleoffrauds——regulardead-beats。There，nowwe”reovertheworstofit，youcanstandtherestmiddlingeasy。”
Itjoltedheruplikeeverything，ofcourse；butIwasovertheshoalwaternow，soIwentrightalong，hereyesa-blazinghigherandhigherallthetime，andtoldhereveryblamething，fromwherewefirststruckthatyoungfoolgoinguptothesteamboat，clearthroughtowheresheflungherselfontotheking”sbreastatthefrontdoorandhekissedhersixteenorseventeentimes——andthenupshejumps，withherfaceafirelikesunset，andsays：
“Thebrute！Come，don”twasteaminute——notaSECOND——we”llhavethemtarredandfeathered，andflungintheriver！“
SaysI：
“Cert”nly。ButdoyoumeanBEFOREyougotoMr。Lothrop”s，or”
“Oh，“shesays，“whatamITHINKINGabout！“shesays，andsetrightdownagain。“Don”tmindwhatIsaid——pleasedon”t——youWON”T，now，WILLyou？“LayinghersilkyhandonmineinthatkindofawaythatIsaidIwoulddiefirst。“Ineverthought，Iwassostirredup，“shesays；“nowgoon，andIwon”tdosoanymore。Youtellmewhattodo，andwhateveryousayI”lldoit。”
“Well，“Isays，“it”saroughgang，themtwofrauds，andI”mfixedsoIgottotravelwiththemawhilelonger，whetherIwanttoornot——I
druthernottellyouwhy；andifyouwastoblowonthemthistownwouldgetmeoutoftheirclaws，andI”dbeallright；butthere”dbeanotherpersonthatyoudon”tknowaboutwho”dbeinbigtrouble。Well，wegottosaveHIM，hain”twe？Ofcourse。Well，then，wewon”tblowonthem。”
Sayingthemwordsputagoodideainmyhead。IseehowmaybeIcouldgetmeandJimridofthefrauds；getthemjailedhere，andthenleave。
ButIdidn”twanttoruntheraftinthedaytimewithoutanybodyaboardtoanswerquestionsbutme；soIdidn”twanttheplantobeginworkingtillprettylateto-night。Isays：
“MissMaryJane，I”lltellyouwhatwe”lldo，andyouwon”thavetostayatMr。Lothrop”ssolong，nuther。Howfurisit？“
“Alittleshortoffourmiles——rightoutinthecountry，backhere。”
“Well，that”llanswer。Nowyougoalongoutthere，andlaylowtillnineorhalf-pastto-night，andthengetthemtofetchyouhomeagain——
tellthemyou”vethoughtofsomething。Ifyougetherebeforeelevenputacandleinthiswindow，andifIdon”tturnupwaitTILLeleven，andTHEN
ifIdon”tturnupitmeansI”mgone，andoutoftheway，andsafe。Thenyoucomeoutandspreadthenewsaround，andgetthesebeatsjailed。”
“Good，“shesays，“I”lldoit。”
“AndifitjusthappenssothatIdon”tgetaway，butgettookupalongwiththem，youmustupandsayItoldyouthewholethingbeforehand，andyoumuststandbymeallyoucan。”
“Standbyyou！indeedIwill。Theysha”n”ttouchahairofyourhead！“
shesays，andIseehernostrilsspreadandhereyessnapwhenshesaidit，too。
“IfIgetawayIsha”n”tbehere，“Isays，“toprovetheserapscallionsain”tyouruncles，andIcouldn”tdoitifIWAShere。Icouldsweartheywasbeatsandbummers，that”sall，thoughthat”sworthsomething。Well，there”sotherscandothatbetterthanwhatIcan，andthey”repeoplethatain”tgoingtobedoubtedasquickasI”dbe。I”lltellyouhowtofindthem。Gimmeapencilandapieceofpaper。There——”RoyalNonesuch，Bricksville。”
Putitaway，anddon”tloseit。Whenthecourtwantstofindoutsomethingaboutthesetwo，letthemsenduptoBricksvilleandsaythey”vegotthementhatplayedtheRoyalNonesuch，andaskforsomewitnesses——why，you”llhavethatentiretowndownherebeforeyoucanhardlywink，MissMary。Andthey”llcomea-biling，too。”
Ijudgedwehadgoteverythingfixedaboutrightnow。SoIsays：
“Justlettheauctiongorightalong，anddon”tworry。Nobodydon”thavetopayforthethingstheybuytillawholedayaftertheauctiononaccountsoftheshortnotice，andtheyain”tgoingoutofthistilltheygetthatmoney；andthewaywe”vefixeditthesaleain”tgoingtocount，andtheyain”tgoingtogetnomoney。It”sjustlikethewayitwaswiththeniggers——itwarn”tnosale，andtheniggerswillbebackbeforelong。Why，theycan”tcollectthemoneyfortheNIGGERSyet——they”reintheworstkindofafix，MissMary。”
“Well，“shesays，“I”llrundowntobreakfastnow，andthenI”llstartstraightforMr。Lothrop”s。”
“”Deed，THATain”ttheticket，MissMaryJane，“Isays，“bynomannerofmeans；goBEFOREbreakfast。”
“Why？“
“WhatdidyoureckonIwantedyoutogoatallfor，MissMary？“
“Well，Ineverthought——andcometothink，Idon”tknow。Whatwasit？“
“Why，it”sbecauseyouain”toneoftheseleatherfacepeople。Idon”twantnobetterbookthanwhatyourfaceis。Abodycansetdownandreaditofflikecoarseprint。Doyoureckonyoucangoandfaceyouruncleswhentheycometokissyougoodmorning，andnever”
“There，there，don”t！Yes，I”llgobeforebreakfast——I”llbegladto。Andleavemysisterswiththem？“
“Yes；nevermindaboutthem。They”vegottostandityetawhile。Theymightsuspicionsomethingifallofyouwastogo。Idon”twantyoutoseethem，noryoursisters，nornobodyinthistown；ifaneighborwastoaskhowisyourunclesthismorningyourfacewouldtellsomething。
No，yougorightalong，MissMaryJane，andI”llfixitwithallofthem。
I”lltellMissSusantogiveyourlovetoyourunclesandsayyou”vewentawayforafewhoursfortogetalittlerestandchange，ortoseeafriend，andyou”llbebackto-nightorearlyinthemorning。”
“Gonetoseeafriendisallright，butIwon”thavemylovegiventothem。”
“Well，then，itsha”n”tbe。”ItwaswellenoughtotellHERso——noharminit。Itwasonlyalittlethingtodo，andnotrouble；andit”sthelittlethingsthatsmoothspeople”sroadsthemost，downherebelow；
itwouldmakeMaryJanecomfortable，anditwouldn”tcostnothing。ThenIsays：“There”sonemorething——thatbagofmoney。”
“Well，they”vegotthat；anditmakesmefeelprettysillytothinkHOWtheygotit。”
“No，you”reout，there。Theyhain”tgotit。”
“Why，who”sgotit？“
“IwishIknowed，butIdon”t。IHADit，becauseIstoleitfromthem；
andIstoleittogivetoyou；andIknowwhereIhidit，butI”mafraiditain”ttherenomore。I”mawfulsorry，MissMaryJane，I”mjustassorryasIcanbe；butIdonethebestIcould；Ididhonest。Icomenighgettingcaught，andIhadtoshoveitintothefirstplaceIcometo，andrun——
anditwarn”tagoodplace。”
“Oh，stopblamingyourself——it”stoobadtodoit，andIwon”tallowit——youcouldn”thelpit；itwasn”tyourfault。Wheredidyouhideit？“
Ididn”twanttosethertothinkingabouthertroublesagain；andI
couldn”tseemtogetmymouthtotellherwhatwouldmakeherseethatcorpselayinginthecoffinwiththatbagofmoneyonhisstomach。SoforaminuteIdidn”tsaynothing；thenIsays：
“I”druthernotTELLyouwhereIputit，MissMaryJane，ifyoudon”tmindlettingmeoff；butI”llwriteitforyouonapieceofpaper，andyoucanreaditalongtheroadtoMr。Lothrop”s，ifyouwantto。Doyoureckonthat”lldo？“
“Oh，yes。”
SoIwrote：“Iputitinthecoffin。Itwasintherewhenyouwascryingthere，awayinthenight。Iwasbehindthedoor，andIwasmightysorryforyou，MissMaryJane。”
Itmademyeyeswateralittletorememberhercryingthereallbyherselfinthenight，andthemdevilslayingthererightunderherownroof，shamingherandrobbingher；andwhenIfoldeditupandgiveittoherIseethewatercomeintohereyes，too；andsheshookmebythehand，hard，andsays：
“GOOD-bye。I”mgoingtodoeverythingjustasyou”vetoldme；andifIdon”teverseeyouagain，Isha”n”teverforgetyou。andI”llthinkofyouamanyandamanyatime，andI”llPRAYforyou，too！“——andshewasgone。
Prayforme！Ireckonedifsheknowedmeshe”dtakeajobthatwasmorenearerhersize。ButIbetshedoneit，justthesame——shewasjustthatkind。ShehadthegrittoprayforJudusifshetookthenotion——therewarn”tnoback-downtoher，Ijudge。Youmaysaywhatyouwantto，butinmyopinionshehadmoresandinherthananygirlIeversee；inmyopinionshewasjustfullofsand。Itsoundslikeflattery，butitain”tnoflattery。Andwhenitcomestobeauty——andgoodness，too——shelaysoverthemall。Ihain”teverseenhersincethattimethatIseehergooutofthatdoor；no，Ihain”teverseenhersince，butIreckonI”vethoughtofheramanyandamanyamilliontimes，andofhersayingshewouldprayforme；andifeverI”dathoughtitwoulddoanygoodformetoprayforHER，blamedifIwouldn”tadoneitorbust。
Well，MaryJaneshelitoutthebackway，Ireckon；becausenobodyseehergo。WhenIstruckSusanandthehare-lip，Isays：
“What”sthenameofthempeopleoveront”othersideoftheriverthatyouallgoestoseesometimes？“
Theysays：
“There”sseveral；butit”stheProctors，mainly。”
“That”sthename，“Isays；“Imostforgotit。Well，MissMaryJaneshetoldmetotellyoushe”sgoneoverthereinadreadfulhurry——oneofthem”ssick。”
“Whichone？“
“Idon”tknow；leastways，Ikinderforget；butIthinksit”s”
“Sakesalive，Ihopeitain”tHANNER？“
“I”msorrytosayit，“Isays，“butHanner”stheveryone。”
“Mygoodness，andshesowellonlylastweek！Isshetookbad？“
“Itain”tnonameforit。Theysetupwithherallnight，MissMaryJanesaid，andtheydon”tthinkshe”lllastmanyhours。”
“Onlythinkofthat，now！What”sthematterwithher？“
Icouldn”tthinkofanythingreasonable，rightoffthatway，soIsays：
“Mumps。”
“Mumpsyourgranny！Theydon”tsetupwithpeoplethat”sgotthemumps。”
“Theydon”t，don”tthey？YoubetterbettheydowithTHESEmumps。Thesemumpsisdifferent。It”sanewkind，MissMaryJanesaid。”
“How”sitanewkind？“
“Becauseit”smixedupwithotherthings。”
“Whatotherthings？“
“Well，measles，andwhooping-cough，anderysiplas，andconsumption，andyallerjanders，andbrain-fever，andIdon”tknowwhatall。”
“Myland！AndtheycallittheMUMPS？“
“That”swhatMissMaryJanesaid。”
“Well，whatinthenationdotheycallittheMUMPSfor？“
“Why，becauseitISthemumps。That”swhatitstartswith。”
“Well，ther”ain”tnosenseinit。Abodymightstumphistoe，andtakepison，andfalldownthewell，andbreakhisneck，andbusthisbrainsout，andsomebodycomealongandaskwhatkilledhim，andsomenumskullupandsay，”Why，hestumpedhisTOE。”Wouldther”beanysenseinthat？
NO。Andther”ain”tnosenseinTHIS，nuther。Isitketching？“
“IsitKETCHING？Why，howyoutalk。IsaHARROWcatching——inthedark？
Ifyoudon”thitchontoonetooth，you”reboundtoonanother，ain”tyou？
Andyoucan”tgetawaywiththattoothwithoutfetchingthewholeharrowalong，canyou？Well，thesekindofmumpsisakindofaharrow，asyoumaysay——anditain”tnoslouchofaharrow，nuther，youcometogetithitchedongood。”
“Well，it”sawful，Ithink，“saysthehare-lip。“I”llgotoUncleHarveyand”
“Oh，yes，“Isays，“IWOULD。OfCOURSEIwould。Iwouldn”tlosenotime。”
“Well，whywouldn”tyou？“
“Justlookatitaminute，andmaybeyoucansee。Hain”tyourunclesobleegdtogetalonghometoEnglandasfastastheycan？Anddoyoureckonthey”dbemeanenoughtogooffandleaveyoutogoallthatjourneybyyourselves？YOUknowthey”llwaitforyou。Sofur，sogood。YouruncleHarvey”sapreacher，ain”the？Verywell，then；isaPREACHERgoingtodeceiveasteamboatclerk？ishegoingtodeceiveaSHIPCLERK？——soastogetthemtoletMissMaryJanegoaboard？NowYOUknowheain”t。WhatWILLhedo，then？Why，he”llsay，”It”sagreatpity，butmychurchmattershasgottogetalongthebestwaytheycan；formyniecehasbeenexposedtothedreadfulpluribus-unummumps，andsoit”smyboundendutytosetdownhereandwaitthethreemonthsittakestoshowonherifshe”sgotit。”Butnevermind，ifyouthinkit”sbesttotellyouruncleHarvey”
“Shucks，andstayfoolingaroundherewhenwecouldallbehavinggoodtimesinEnglandwhilstwewaswaitingtofindoutwhetherMaryJane”sgotitornot？Why，youtalklikeamuggins。”
“Well，anyway，maybeyou”dbettertellsomeoftheneighbors。”
“Listenatthat，now。Youdobeatallfornaturalstupidness。Can”tyouSEEthatTHEY”Dgoandtell？Ther”ain”tnowaybutjusttonottellanybodyatALL。”
“Well，maybeyou”reright——yes，IjudgeyouAREright。”
“ButIreckonweoughttotellUncleHarveyshe”sgoneoutawhile，anyway，sohewon”tbeuneasyabouther？“
“Yes，MissMaryJaneshewantedyoutodothat。Shesays，”TellthemtogiveUncleHarveyandWilliammyloveandakiss，andsayI”verunovertherivertoseeMr。”——Mr——whatISthenameofthatrichfamilyyourunclePeterusedtothinksomuchof？——Imeantheonethat”
“Why，youmustmeantheApthorps，ain”tit？“
“Ofcourse；botherthemkindofnames，abodycan”teverseemtorememberthem，halfthetime，somehow。Yes，shesaid，sayshehasrunoverfortoasktheApthorpstobesureandcometotheauctionandbuythishouse，becausesheallowedherunclePeterwouldruthertheyhaditthananybodyelse；andshe”sgoingtosticktothemtilltheysaythey”llcome，andthen，ifsheain”ttootired，she”scominghome；andifsheis，she”llbehomeinthemorninganyway。Shesaid，don”tsaynothingabouttheProctors，butonlyabouttheApthorps——which”llbeperfectlytrue，becausesheisgoingtheretospeakabouttheirbuyingthehouse；Iknowit，becauseshetoldmesoherself。”
“Allright，“theysaid，andclearedouttolayfortheiruncles，andgivethemtheloveandthekisses，andtellthemthemessage。
Everythingwasallrightnow。Thegirlswouldn”tsaynothingbecausetheywantedtogotoEngland；andthekingandthedukewouldrutherMaryJanewasoffworkingfortheauctionthanaroundinreachofDoctorRobinson。
Ifeltverygood；IjudgedIhaddoneitprettyneat——IreckonedTomSawyercouldn”tadoneitnoneaterhimself。Ofcoursehewouldathrowedmorestyleintoit，butIcan”tdothatveryhandy，notbeingbrunguptoit。
Well，theyheldtheauctioninthepublicsquare，alongtowardstheendoftheafternoon，anditstrungalong，andstrungalong，andtheoldmanhewasonhandandlookinghislevelpisonest，uptherelongsideoftheauctioneer，andchippinginalittleScripturenowandthen，oralittlegoody-goodysayingofsomekind，andthedukehewasaroundgoo-gooingforsympathyallheknowedhow，andjustspreadinghimselfgenerly。
Butbyandbythethingdraggedthrough，andeverythingwassold——
everythingbutalittleoldtriflinglotinthegraveyard。Sothey”dgottoworkthatoff——IneverseesuchagirafftasthekingwasforwantingtoswallowEVERYTHING。Well，whilsttheywasatitasteamboatlanded，andinabouttwominutesupcomesacrowda-whoopingandyellingandlaughingandcarryingon，andsingingout：
“HERE”Syouroppositionline！here”syourtwosetso”heirstooldPeterWilks——andyoupaysyourmoneyandyoutakesyourchoice！“
TheAdventuresofHuckleberryFinn-Chapter29Chapter29THEYwasfetchingaverynice-lookingoldgentlemanalong，andanice-lookingyoungerone，withhisrightarminasling。And，mysouls，howthepeopleyelledandlaughed，andkeptitup。ButIdidn”tseenojokeaboutit，andIjudgeditwouldstrainthedukeandthekingsometoseeany。Ireckonedthey”dturnpale。Butno，naryapaledidTHEYturn。Thedukeheneverletonhesuspicionedwhatwasup，butjustwentagoo-gooingaround，happyandsatisfied，likeajugthat”sgooglingoutbuttermilk；andasfortheking，hejustgazedandgazeddownsorrowfulonthemnew-comerslikeitgivehimthestomach-acheinhisveryhearttothinktherecouldbesuchfraudsandrascalsintheworld。Oh，hedoneitadmirable。Lotsoftheprincipalpeoplegetheredaroundtheking，tolethimseetheywasonhisside。Thatoldgentlemanthathadjustcomelookedallpuzzledtodeath。
Prettysoonhebeguntospeak，andIseestraightoffhepronouncedLIKE
anEnglishman——nottheking”sway，thoughtheking”sWASprettygoodforanimitation。Ican”tgivetheoldgent”swords，norIcan”timitatehim；butheturnedaroundtothecrowd，andsays，aboutlikethis：
“ThisisasurprisetomewhichIwasn”tlookingfor；andI”llacknowledge，candidandfrank，Iain”tverywellfixedtomeetitandanswerit；formybrotherandmehashadmisfortunes；he”sbrokehisarm，andourbaggagegotputoffatatownaboveherelastnightinthenightbyamistake。
IamPeterWilks”brotherHarvey，andthisishisbrotherWilliam，whichcan”thearnorspeak——andcan”tevenmakesignstoamounttomuch，now”the”sonlygotonehandtoworkthemwith。Wearewhowesayweare；andinadayortwo，whenIgetthebaggage，Icanproveit。ButuptillthenIwon”tsaynothingmore，butgotothehotelandwait。”
Sohimandthenewdummystartedoff；andthekinghelaughs，andblethersout：
“Brokehisarm——VERYlikely，AIN”Tit？——andveryconvenient，too，forafraudthat”sgottomakesigns，andain”tlearnthow。Losttheirbaggage！That”sMIGHTYgood！——andmightyingenious——undertheCIRCUMSTANCES！
Sohelaughedagain；andsodideverybodyelse，exceptthreeorfour，ormaybehalfadozen。Oneofthesewasthatdoctor；anotheronewasasharplookinggentleman，withacarpet-bagoftheoldfashionedkindmadeoutofcarpet-stuff，thathadjustcomeoffofthesteamboatandwastalkingtohiminalowvoice，andglancingtowardsthekingnowandthenandnoddingtheirheads——itwasLeviBell，thelawyerthatwasgoneuptoLouisville；
andanotheronewasabigroughhuskythatcomealongandlistenedtoalltheoldgentlemansaid，andwaslisteningtothekingnow。Andwhenthekinggotdonethishuskyupandsays：
“Say，lookyhere；ifyouareHarveyWilks，when”dyoucometothistown？“
“Thedaybeforethefuneral，friend，“saystheking。
“Butwhattimeo”day？“
“Intheevenin”——”boutanhourertwobeforesundown。”
“HOW”Dyoucome？“
“IcomedownontheSusanPowellfromCincinnati。”
“Well，then，how”dyoucometobeupatthePintintheMORNIN”——inacanoe？“
“Iwarn”tupatthePintinthemornin”。”
“It”salie。”
Severalofthemjumpedforhimandbeggedhimnottotalkthatwaytoanoldmanandapreacher。
“Preacherbehanged，he”safraudandaliar。HewasupatthePintthatmornin”。Iliveupthere，don”tI？Well，Iwasupthere，andhewasupthere。Iseehimthere。Hecomeinacanoe，alongwithTimCollinsandaboy。”
Thedoctorheupandsays：
“Wouldyouknowtheboyagainifyouwastoseehim，Hines？“
“IreckonIwould，butIdon”tknow。Why，yonderheis，now。Iknowhimperfectlyeasy。”
Itwasmehepointedat。Thedoctorsays：
“Neighbors，Idon”tknowwhetherthenewcoupleisfraudsornot；butifTHESEtwoain”tfrauds，Iamanidiot，that”sall。Ithinkit”sourdutytoseethattheydon”tgetawayfromheretillwe”velookedintothisthing。Comealong，Hines；comealong，therestofyou。We”lltakethesefellowstothetavernandaffrontthemwitht”othercouple，andIreckonwe”llfindoutSOMETHINGbeforewegetthrough。”
Itwasnutsforthecrowd，thoughmaybenotfortheking”sfriends；
soweallstarted。Itwasaboutsundown。Thedoctorheledmealongbythehand，andwasplentykindenough，butheneverletgomyhand。
Weallgotinabigroominthehotel，andlitupsomecandles，andfetchedinthenewcouple。First，thedoctorsays：
“Idon”twishtobetoohardonthesetwomen，butIthinkthey”refrauds，andtheymayhavecomplicesthatwedon”tknownothingabout。Iftheyhave，won”tthecomplicesgetawaywiththatbagofgoldPeterWilksleft？Itain”tunlikely。Ifthesemenain”tfrauds，theywon”tobjecttosendingforthatmoneyandlettinguskeepittilltheyprovethey”reallright——ain”tthatso？“
Everybodyagreedtothat。SoIjudgedtheyhadourganginaprettytightplacerightattheoutstart。Butthekingheonlylookedsorrowful，andsays：
“Gentlemen，Iwishthemoneywasthere，forIain”tgotnodispositiontothrowanythinginthewayofafair，open，out-and-outinvestigationo”thismisablebusiness；but，alas，themoneyain”tthere；youk”nsendandsee，ifyouwantto。”
“Whereisit，then？“
“Well，whenmyniecegiveittometokeepforherItookandhiditinsideo”thestrawticko”mybed，notwishin”tobankitforthefewdayswe”dbehere，andconsiderin”thebedasafeplace，wenotbein”usedtoniggers，andsuppos”n””emhonest，likeservantsinEngland。Theniggersstoleittheverynextmornin”afterIhadwentdownstairs；andwhenI
sold”emIhadn”tmissedthemoneyyit，sotheygotcleanawaywithit。
Myservantherek”ntellyou”boutit，gentlemen。”
Thedoctorandseveralsaid“Shucks！“andIseenobodydidn”taltogetherbelievehim。OnemanaskedmeifIseetheniggersstealit。Isaidno，butIseethemsneakingoutoftheroomandhustlingaway，andIneverthoughtnothing，onlyIreckonedtheywasafraidtheyhadwakedupmymasterandwastryingtogetawaybeforehemadetroublewiththem。Thatwasalltheyaskedme。Thenthedoctorwhirlsonmeandsays：
“AreYOUEnglish，too？“