第13章

III

1

Noel’sfirstencounterwithOpiniontookplacethefollowingday。

Thebabyhadjustcomeinfromitsairing;shehadseenitcomfortablysnoozing，andwasonherwaydownstairs，whenavoicefromthehallsaid:

"Howdoyoudo？"andshesawthekhaki—cladfigureofAdrianLauder，herfather’scurate！Hesitatingjustamoment，shefinishedherdescent，andputherfingersinhis。Hewasaratherheavy，dough—

colouredyoungmanofnearlythirty，unsuitedbykhaki，witharoundwhitecollarbuttonedbehind;buthisaspiringeyesredeemedhim，proclaimingthebestintentionsintheworld，andaninclinationtowardssentimentinthepresenceofbeauty。

"Ihaven’tseenyouforages，"hesaidratherfatuously，followingherintoherfather’sstudy。

"No，"saidNoel。"How——doyoulikebeingattheFront？"

"Ah！"hesaid，"they’rewonderful！"Andhiseyesshone。"It’ssonicetoseeyouagain。"

"Isit？"

Heseemedpuzzledbythatanswer;stammered，andsaid:

"Ididn’tknowyoursisterhadababy。Ajollybaby。"

"Shehasn’t。"

Lauder’smouthopened。’Asillymouth，’shethought。

"Oh！"hesaid。"Isitaprotegee——Belgianorsomething？"

"No，it’smine;myown。"And，turninground，sheslippedthelittleringoffherfinger。Whensheturnedbacktohim，hisfacehadnotrecoveredfromherwords。Ithadahaplesslook，asofonetowhomsuchathingoughtnottohavehappened。

"Don’tlooklikethat，"saidNoel。"Didn’tyouunderstand？It’smine—mine。"Sheputoutherlefthand。"Look！There’snoring。"

Hestammered:"Isay，yououghtn’tto——yououghtn’tto——！"

"What？"

"Jokeabout——aboutsuchthings;oughtyou？"

"Onedoesn’tjokeifone’shadababywithoutbeingmarried，youknow。"

Lauderwentsuddenlyslack。Ashellmighthaveburstafewpacesfromhim。Andthen，justasonewouldinsuchacase，hemadeaneffort，bracedhimself，andsaidinacuriousvoice，bothstiffandheavy:"Ican’t——onedoesn’t——it’snot——"

"Itis，"saidNoel。"Ifyoudon’tbelieveme，askDaddy。"

Heputhishanduptohisroundcollar;andwiththewildthoughtthathewasgoingtotearitoff，shecried:"Don’t！"

"You！"hesaid。"You！But——"

Noelturnedawayfromhimtothewindow:Shestoodlookingout，butsawnothingwhatever。

"Idon’twantithidden，"shesaidwithoutturninground，"Iwanteveryonetoknow。It’sstupidasitis——stupid！"andshestampedherfoot。"Can’tyouseehowstupiditis——everybody’smouthfallingopen！"

Heutteredalittlesoundwhichhadpaininit，andshefeltarealpangofcompunction。Hehadgrippedthebackofachair;hisfacehadlostitsheaviness。Adullflushcolouredhischeeks。Noelhadafeeling，asifshehadbeenconvictedoftreachery。Itwashissilence，thecuriouslookofanimpersonalpainbeyondpowerofwords;shefeltinhimsomethingmuchdeeperthanmeredisapproval——

somethingwhichechoedwithinherself。Shewalkedquicklypasthimandescaped。Sheranupstairsandthrewherselfonherbed。Hewasnothing:itwasnotthat！Itwasinherself，theawfulfeeling，forthefirsttimedevelopedandpoignant，thatshehadbetrayedhercaste，forfeitedtherighttobethoughtalady，betrayedhersecretreserveandrefinement，repaidwithblackingratitudethelovelavishedonherupbringing，bybehavinglikeanyuncared—forcommongirl。Shehadneverfeltthisbefore——notevenwhenGratianfirstheardofit，andtheyhadstoodoneateachendofthehearth，unabletospeak。Thenshestillhadherpassion，andhergriefforthedead。Thatwasgonenowasifithadneverbeen;andshehadnodefence，nothingbetweenherandthiscrushinghumiliationandchagrin。Shehadbeenmad！Shemusthavebeenmad！TheBelgianBarrawasright:"Allalittlemad"inthis"forcing—house"ofawar！

Sheburiedherfacedeepinthepillow，tillitalmoststoppedherpowerofbreathing;herheadandcheeksandearsseemedtobeonfire。Ifonlyhehadshowndisgust，donesomethingwhichrousedhertemper，hersenseofjustice，herfeelingthatFatehadbeentoocrueltoher;，buthehadjuststoodthere，bewildermentincarnate，likeacreaturewithsomeverydeepillusionshattered。Itwashorrible！Then，feelingthatshecouldnotstaystill，mustwalk，run，getawaysomehowfromthisfeelingoftreacheryandbetrayal，shesprangup。Allwasquietbelow，andsheslippeddownstairsandout，speedingalongwithnoknowledgeofdirection，takingthewayshehadtakendayafterdaytoherhospital。ItwasthelastofApril，treesandshrubswerelusciouswithblossomandleaf;thedogsrangaily;peoplehadalmosthappyfacesinthesunshine。’IfI

couldgetawayfrommyself，Iwouldn’tcare，’shethought。Easytogetawayfrompeople，fromLondon，evenfromEnglandperhaps;butfromoneself——impossible！Shepassedherhospital;andlookedatitdully，attheRedCrossflagagainstitsstuccowall，andasoldierinhisblueslopsandredtie，comingout。Shehadspentmanymiserablehoursthere，butnonequitesomiserableasthis。ShepassedthechurchoppositetotheflatswhereLeilalived，andrunningsuddenlyintoatallmancomingroundthecorner，sawFort。

Shebentherhead，andtriedtohurrypast。Buthishandwasheldout，shecouldnothelpputtinghersintoit;andlookinguphardily，shesaid:

"Youknowaboutme，don’tyou？"

Hisface，naturallysofrank，seemedtoclenchup，asifhewereridingatafence。’He’lltellalie，’shethoughtbitterly。Buthedidnot。

"Yes，Leilatoldme。"

Andshethought:’Isupposehe’lltryandpretendthatI’venotbeenabeast！’

"Iadmireyourpluck，"hesaid。

"Ihaven’tany。"

"Weneverknowourselves，dowe？Isupposeyouwouldn’twalkmypaceaminuteortwo，wouldyou？I’mgoingthesameway。"

"Idon’tknowwhichwayI’mgoing。"

"Thatismycase，too。"

Theywalkedoninsilence。

"IwishtoGodIwerebackinFrance，"saidFortabruptly。"Onedoesn’tfeelcleanhere。"

Noel’sheartapplauded。

Ah！togetaway——awayfromoneself！Butatthethoughtofherbaby，herheartfellagain。"Isyourlegquitehopeless？"shesaid。

"Quite。"

"Thatmustbehorrid。"

"Hundredsofthousandswouldlookonitassplendidluck;andsoitisifyoucountitbettertobealivethandead，whichIdo，inspiteoftheblues。"

"HowisCousinLeila？"

"Verywell。Shegoesonpeggingawayatthehospital;she’sabrick。"Buthedidnotlookather，andagaintherewassilence，tillhestoppedbyLord’sCricket—ground。

"Imustn’tkeepyoucrawlingalongatthispace。"

"Oh，Idon’tmind！"

"IonlywantedtosaythatifIcanbeofanyservicetoyouatanytimeinanywaywhatever，pleasecommandme。"

Hegaveherhandasqueeze，tookhishatoff;andNoelwalkedslowlyon。Thelittleinterview，withitssuppressions，anditsimplications，hadbutexasperatedherrestlessness，andyet，inaway，ithadsoothedthesorenessofherheart。CaptainFortatalleventsdidnotdespiseher;andhewasintroublelikeherself。Shefeltthatsomehowbythelookofhisface，andthetoneofhisvoicewhenhespokeofLeila。Shequickenedherpace。George’swordscamebacktoher:"Ifyou’renotashamedofyourself，noonewillbeofyou！"Howeasytosay！Theolddays，herschool，thelittlehalfgrown—updancessheusedtogoto，wheneverythingwashappy。Gone！

Allgone！

ButhermeetingswithOpinionwerenotoverfortheday，forturningagainatlastintothehomeSquare，tiredoutbyherthreehours’

ramble，shemetanoldladywhomsheandGratianhadknownfrombabyhood——ahandsomedame，thewidowofanofficial，whospentherdays，whichshowednosymptomofdeclining，inadmirableworks。Herdaughter，thewidowofanofficerkilledattheMarne，waswithher，andthetwogreetedNoelwithashowerofcordialquestions:Soshewasbackfromthecountry，andwasshequitewellagain？Andworkingatherhospital？Andhowwasherdearfather？Theyhadthoughthimlookingverythinandworn。ButnowGratianwasathome——Howdreadfullythewarkepthusbandsandwivesapart！Andwhosewasthedearlittlebabytheyhadinthehouse？

"Mine，"saidNoel，walkingstraightpastthemwithherheadup。Ineveryfibreofherbeingshecouldfeelthehurt，startled，utterlybewilderedlooksofthosefirmfriendlypersonsleftthereonthepavementbehindher;couldfeelthewaytheywouldgatherthemselvestogether，andwalkon，perhapswithoutaword，andthenroundthecornerbegin:"WhathascometoNoel？Whatdidshemean？"Andtakingthelittlegoldhoopoutofherpocket，sheflungitwithallhermightintotheSquareGarden。Theactionsavedherfromabreakdown;andshewentincalmly。Lunchwaslongover，butherfatherhadnotgoneout，forhemetherinthehallanddrewherintothedining—room。

"Youmusteat，mychild，"hesaid。Andwhileshewasswallowingdownwhathehadcausedtobekeptbackforher，hestoodbythehearthinthatfavouriteattitudeofhis，onefootonthefender，andonehandgripping。themantel—shelf。

"You’vegotyourwish，Daddy，"shesaiddully:"Everybodyknowsnow。

I’vetoldMr。Lauder，andMonsieur，andtheDinnafords。"

Shesawhisfingersuncrisp，thengriptheshelfagain。"I’mglad，"

hesaid。

"AuntThirzagavemearingtowear，butI’vethrownitaway。"

"Mydearestchild，"hebegan，butcouldnotgoon，forthequiveringofhislips。

"Iwantedtosayoncemore，Daddy，thatI’mfearfullysorryaboutyou。AndIamashamedofmyself;IthoughtIwasn’t，butIam——only，Ithinkitwascruel，andI’mnotpenitenttoGod;andit’snogoodtryingtomakeme。"

Piersonturnedandlookedather。Foralongtimeafter，shecouldnotgetthatlookoutofhermemory。

JimmyForthadturnedawayfromNoelfeelingparticularlywretched。

EversincethedaywhenLeilahadtoldhimofthegirl’smisfortunehehadbeenawarethathisliaisonhadnodecentfoundation，saveasortofpity。Oneday，inaqueeraccessofcompunction，hehadmadeLeilaanofferofmarriage。Shehadrefused;andhehadrespectedherthemore，realisingbythequiverinhervoiceandthelookinhereyesthatsherefusedhim，notbecauseshedidnotlovehimwellenough，butbecauseshewasafraidoflosinganyofhisaffection。

Shewasawomanofgreatexperience。

To—dayhehadtakenadvantageoftheluncheonintervaltobringhersomeflowers，withanotetosaythathecouldnotcomethatevening。

Lettinghimselfinwithhislatchkey，hehadcarefullyputthoseJapaneseazaleasinthebowl"FamilleRose，"takingwaterfromherbedroom。Thenhehadsatdownonthedivanwithhisheadinhishands。

Thoughhehadrolledsomuchabouttheworld，hehadneverhadmuchtodowithwomen。AndtherewasnothinginhimoftheFrenchman，whotakeswhatlifeputsinhiswayassomuchenjoymentonthecreditside，andacceptstheendsofsuchaffairsastheynaturallyandratherrapidlyarrive。Ithadbeenapleasure，andwasnolongerapleasure;butthisapparentlydidnotdissolveit，orabsolvehim。

Hefelthimselfboundbyanobscurebutdeepinstincttogoonpretendingthathewasnottiredofher，solongasshewasnottiredofhim。Andhesattheretryingtorememberanysign，howeversmall，ofsuchaconsummation，quitewithoutsuccess。Onthecontrary，hehadeventhewretchedfeelingthatifonlyhehadlovedher，shewouldhavebeenmuchmorelikelytohavetiredofhimbynow。Forherhewasstilltheunconquered，inspiteofhisloyalendeavourtoseemconquered。Hehadmadeafatalmistake，thateveningaftertheconcertatQueen’sHall，tolethimselfgo，onamixedtideofdesireandpity！

HisfollycametohimwithincreasedpoignancyafterhehadpartedfromNoel。Howcouldhehavebeensuchabasefool，astohavecommittedhimselftoLeilaonaneveningwhenhehadactuallybeeninthecompanyofthatchild？Wasitthevague，unseizablelikenessbetweenthemwhichhadpushedhimovertheedge？’I’vebeenanass，’

hethought;’ahorribleass。’IwouldalwayshavegiveneveryhourI’veeverspentwithLeila，foronerealsmilefromthatgirl。’

ThissuddensightofNoelaftermonthsduringwhichhehadtriedloyallytoforgetherexistence，andnotsucceededatall，madehimrealiseasheneverhadyetthathewasinlovewithher;soverymuchinlovewithherthatthethoughtofLeilawasbecomenauseating。Andyettheinstinctsofagentlemanseemedtoforbidhimtobetraythatsecrettoeitherofthem。Itwasanaccursedcoil！Hehailedacab，forhewaslate;andallthewaybacktotheWarOfficehecontinuedtoseethegirl’sfigureandherfacewithitsshorthair。Andafearfultemptationrosewithinhim。Wasitnotshewhowasnowtherealobjectforchivalryandpity？Hadhenottherighttoconsecratehimselftochampionshipofoneinsuchadeplorableposition？Leilahadlivedherlife;butthischild’slife——prettywellwrecked——wasallbeforeher。Andthenhegrinnedfromsheerdisgust。ForheknewthatthiswasJesuitry。Notchivalrywasmovinghim，butlove！Love！Loveoftheunattainable！

Andwithaheavyheart，indeed，heenteredthegreatbuilding，where，inasmallroom，companionedbythetelephone，andsurroundedbysheetsofpapercoveredwithfigures，hepassedhisdays。Thewarmadeeverythingseemdreary，hopeless。Nowonderhehadcaughtatanydistractionwhichcamealong——caughtatit，tillithadcaughthim！

IV

1

Tofindouttheworstis，forhumannature，onlyaquestionoftime。

Butwherethe"worst"isattachedtoafamilyhaloed，asitwere，bytheauthorityandreputationofaninstitutionliketheChurch，theprocessofdiscoveryhastobreakthroughmanyalittlehedge。Sheerunlikelihood，genuinerespect，thedefensiveinstinctinthoseidentifiedwithaninstitution，whowillthemselvesfeelweakerifitsstrengthbediminished，thefeelingthatthescandalistoogoodtobetrue——alltheselittlehedges，andmore，hadtobebrokenthrough。TotheDinnafords，theunholyimportanceofwhatNoelhadsaidtothemwouldhavecontinuedtokeepthemdumb，outofself—

protection;butitsmonstrosityhadgiventhemthefeelingthattheremustbesomemistake，thatthegirlhadbeenovertakenbyawilddesireto"pulltheirlegs"asdearCharliewouldsay。Withthehopeofgettingthisviewconfirmed，theylayinwaitfortheoldnursewhotookthebabyout，andobtainedtheinformation，shortlyimparted:"Oh，yes;MissNoel’s。Her’usbandwaskilled——poorlamb！"

Andtheyfeltrewarded。Theyhadbeensuretherewassomemistake。

Thereliefofhearingthatword"’usband"wasintense。Oneofthesehastywarmarriages，ofwhichthedearVicarhadnotapproved，andsoithadbeenkeptdark。Quiteintelligible，butsosad！Enoughmisgivinghoweverremainedintheirminds，topreventtheirgoingtocondolewiththedearVicar;butnotenoughtopreventtheirroundlycontradictingtherumoursandgossipalreadycomingtotheirears。

Andthenoneday，whentheirfriendMrs。Curtishadsaidtoopositively:"Well，shedoesn’twearawedding—ring，thatI’llswear，becauseItookverygoodcaretolook！"theydeterminedtoaskMr。

Lauder。Hewould——indeedmust——know;and，ofcourse，wouldnottellastory。Whentheyaskedhimitwassomanifestthathedidknow，thattheyalmostwithdrewthequestion。Thepooryoungmanhadgonethecolourofatomato。

"Iprefernottoanswer，"hesaid。Therestofaveryshortinterviewwaspassedinexquisitediscomfort。Indeeddiscomfort，exquisiteandotherwise，withinafewweeksofNoel’sreturn，hadbeguntopervadeallthehabitualcongregationofPierson’schurch。

ItwasnoticedthatneitherofthetwosistersattendedServicenow。

CertainpeoplewhowentinthesincerehopeofseeingNoel，onlyfelloffagainwhenshedidnotappear。Afterall，shewouldnothavetheface！AndGratianwastooashamed，nodoubt。ItwasconstantlyremarkedthattheVicarlookedverygraveandthin，evenforhim。Astherumourshardenedintocertainty，thefeelingtowardshimbecameacuriousmedleyofsympathyandcondemnation。TherewasaboutthewholebusinessthatwhichEnglishpeopleespeciallyresent。BytheveryfactofhispresencebeforethemeverySunday，andhispublicministrations，hewasexhibitingtothem，asitwere，theseamedandblushingfaceofhisdaughter’sprivatelife，besidesaffordingonelongandglaringdemonstrationofthefailureoftheChurchtoguideitsflock:Ifamancouldnotkeephisowndaughterinthestraightpath——whomcouldhe？Resign！Thewordbegantobethoughtabout，butnotyetspoken。Hehadbeentheresolong;hehadspentsomuchmoneyonthechurchandtheparish;hisgentledreamymannerwasgreatlyliked。Hewasagentleman;andhadhelpedmanypeople;and，thoughhisloveofmusicandvestmentshadalwayscausedheart—

burnings，yetithadgivenacertaincachettothechurch。Thewomen，atanyrate，werealwaysgladtoknowthatthechurchtheywenttowascapableofdrawingtheirfellowwomenawayfromotherchurches。Besides，itwaswar—time，andmoraldelinquencywhichintimeofpeacewouldhavebulkedtoolargetoneglect，wasnowlessinsistentlydwelton，bymindspreoccupiedbyfoodandair—raids。

Things，ofcourse，couldnotgoonastheywere;butasyettheydidgoon。

Thetalked—aboutisalwaysthelasttohearthetalk;andnothingconcreteortangiblecamePierson’sway。Hewentabouthisusualroutinewithoutseemingchange。Andyettherewasachange，secretandcreeping。Woundedalmosttodeathhimself，hefeltasthoughsurroundedbyonegreatwoundinothers;butitwassomeweeksbeforeanythingoccurredtorousewithinhimtheweaponofangerortheprotectiveimpulse。

Andthenonedayalittleswiftbrutalityshookhimtotheverysoul。

Hewascominghomefromalongparishround，andhadturnedintotheSquare，whenalowvoicebehindhimsaid:

"Wotpricethelittlebarstard？"

Acold，sickfeelingstifledhisverybreathing;hegasped，andspunround，toseetwobigloutishboyswalkingfastaway。Withswiftandstealthypassionhesprangafterthem，andputtinghishandsontheirtwoneighbouringshoulders，wrenchedthemroundsothattheyfacedhim，withmouthsfallenopeninalarm。Shakingthemwithallhisforce，hesaid:

"Howdareyou——howdareyouusethatword？"Hisfaceandvoicemusthavebeenratherterrible，forthescareintheirfacesbroughthimtosuddenconsciousnessofhisownviolence，andhedroppedhishands。Intwosecondstheywereatthecorner。Theystoppedthereforasecond;oneofthemshouted"Gran’pa";thentheyvanished。Hewasleftwithlipsandhandsquivering，andafeelingthathehadnotknownforyears——theweakwhiteemptyfeelingonehasafteryieldingutterlytosuddenmurderousrage。Hecrossedover，andstoodleaningagainsttheGardenrailings，withthethought:’Godforgiveme！I

couldhavekilledthem——Icouldhavekilledthem！’Therehadbeenadevilinhim。Ifhehadhadsomethinginhishand，hemightnowhavebeenamurderer:Howawful！Onlyonehadspoken;buthecouldhavekilledthemboth！Andthewordwastrue，andwasinallmouths——alllowcommonmouths，dayafterday，ofhisowndaughter’schild！Theghastlinessofthisthought，broughthomesoutterly，madehimwrithe，andgrasptherailingsasifhewouldhavebentthem。

>Fromthatdayon，acreepingsensationofbeingrejectedofmen，neverlefthim;thesenseofidentificationwithNoelandhertinyoutcastbecameevermorepoignant，morereal;thedesiretoprotectthemevermorepassionate;andthefeelingthatroundabouttherewerewhisperingvoices，pointingfingers，andagrowingmalevolencewasevermoresickening。Hewasbeginningtootorealisethedeepandhiddentruth:Howeasilythebreathofscandaldestroystheinfluenceandsanctityofthoseendowedtherewithbyvocation;howinvaluableitistofeeluntarnished，andhowdifficulttofeelthatwhenothersthinkyoutarnished。

HetriedtobewithNoelasmuchaspossible;andintheeveningstheysometimeswentwalkstogether，withoutevertalkingofwhatwasalwaysintheirminds。BetweensixandeightthegirlwasgivingsittingstoLavendieinthedrawing—room，andsometimesPiersonwouldcomethereandplaytothem。HewasalwayspossessednowbyasenseofthedangerNoelranfromcompanionshipwithanyman。Onthreeoccasions，JimmyFortmadehisappearanceafterdinner。Hehadsolittletosaythatitwasdifficulttounderstandwhyhecame;but，sharpenedbythisnewdreadforhisdaughter，Piersonnoticedhiseyesalwaysfollowingher。’Headmiresher，’hethought;andoftenhewouldtryhisutmosttograspthecharacterofthisman，whohadlivedsucharovinglife。’Ishe——canhebethesortofmanIwouldtrustNollieto？’hewouldthink。’Oh，thatIshouldhavetohopelikethisthatsomegoodmanwouldmarryher——mylittleNollie，achildonlytheotherday！’

Inthesesad，painful，lonelyweekshefoundaspotofsomethinglikerefugeinLeila’ssitting—room，andwouldgothereoftenforhalfanhourwhenshewasbackfromherhospital。Thatlittleblack—walledroomwithitsJapaneseprintsanditsflowers，soothedhim。AndLeilasoothedhim，innocentashewasofanyknowledgeofherlatestaberration，andperhapsconsciousthatsheherselfwasnottoohappy。

Towatchherarrangingflowers，singingherlittleFrenchsongs，ortofindherbesidehim，listeningtohisconfidences，wastheonlyrealpleasureheknewinthesedays。AndLeila，inturn，wouldwatchhimandthink:’PoorEdward！Hehasneverlived;andneverwill;

now！’Butsometimesthethoughtwouldshootthroughher:’Perhapshe’stobeenvied。Hedoesn’tfeelwhatIfeel，anyway。WhydidI

fallinloveagain？’

TheydidnotspeakofNoelasarule，butoneeveningsheexpressedherviewsroundly。

"ItwasagreatmistaketomakeNoelcomeback。Edward。ItwasQuixotic。You’llbeluckyifrealmischiefdoesn’tcomeofit。

She’snotapatientcharacter;onedayshe’lldosomethingrash。

And，mindyou，she’llbemuchmorelikelytobreakoutifsheseestheworldtreatingyoubadlythanifithappenstoherself。Ishouldsendherbacktothecountry，beforeshemakesbadworse。"

"Ican’tdothat，Leila。Wemustliveitdowntogether。"

"Wrong，Edward。Youshouldtakethingsastheyare。"

WithaheavysighPiersonanswered:

"IwishIcouldseeherfuture。She’ssoattractive。Andherdefencesaregone。She’slostfaith，andbeliefinallthatagoodwomanshouldbe。Thedayaftershecamebackshetoldmeshewasashamedofherself。Butsince——she’snotgivenasign。She’ssoproud——mypoorlittleNollie。Iseehowmenadmireher，too。OurBelgianfriendispaintingher。He’sagoodman;buthefindsherbeautiful，andwhocanwonder。AndyourfriendCaptainFort。

Fathersaresupposedtobeblind，buttheyseeveryclearsometimes。"

Leilaroseanddrewdownablind。

"Thissun，"shesaid。"DoesJimmyFortcometoyou——often？"

"Oh！no;veryseldom。Butstill——Icansee。"

’Youbat——youblunderer！’thoughtLeila:’See！Youcan’tevenseethisbesideyou！’

"Iexpecthe’ssorryforher，"shesaidinaqueervoice。

"Whyshouldhebesorry？Hedoesn’tknow:"

"Oh，yes！Heknows;Itoldhim。"

"Youtoldhim！"

"Yes，"Leilarepeatedstubbornly;"andhe’ssorryforher。"

Andeventhen"thismonk"besideherdidnotsee，andwentblunderingon。

"No，no;it’snotmerelythathe’ssorry。Bythewayhelooksather，IknowI’mnotmistaken。I’vewondered——whatdoyouthink，Leila。He’stoooldforher;butheseemsanhonourable，kindman。"

"Oh！amosthonourable，kindman。"Butonlybypressingherhandagainstherlipshadshesmotheredaburstofbitterlaughter。He，whosawnothing，couldyetnoticeFort’seyeswhenhelookedatNoel，andbepositivethathewasinlovewithher！Howplainlythoseeyesmustspeak！Hercontrolgaveway。

"Allthisisveryinteresting，"shesaid，spurningherwordslikeNoel，"consideringthathe’smorethanmyfriend，Edward。"Itgaveherasortofpleasuretoseehimwince。’Theseblindbats！’shethought，terriblystungthatheshouldsoclearlyassumeheroutoftherunning。Thenshewassorry，hisfacehadbecomesostillandwistful。Andturningaway，shesaid:

"Oh！Ishan’tbreakmyheart;I’magoodloser。AndI’magoodfighter，too;perhapsIshan’tlose。"Andsnappingoffasprigofgeranium，shepressedittoherlips。

"Forgiveme，"saidPiersonslowly;"Ididn’tknow。I’mstupid。I

thoughtyourloveforyourpoorsoldiershadleftnoroomforotherfeelings。"

Leilautteredashrilllaugh。"Whathavetheytodowitheachother？

Didyouneverhearofpassion，Edward？Oh！Don’tlookatmelikethat。Doyouthinkawomancan’tfeelpassionatmyage？Asmuchasever，morethanever，becauseit’sallslippingaway。"

Shetookherhandfromherlips，butageraniumpetalwasleftclingingthere，likeabloodstain。"Whathasyourlifebeenalltheseyears，"shewentonvehemently——"suppressionofpassion，nothingelse！YoumonkstwistNatureupwithholywords，andtrytodisguisewhattheeeriestsimpletoncansee。Well，Ihaven’tsuppressedpassion，Edward。That’sall。"

"Andareyouhappierforthat？"

"Iwas;andIshallbeagain。"

AlittlesmilecurledPierson’slips。"Shallbe？"hesaid。"Ihopeso。It’sjusttwowaysoflookingatthings，Leila。"

"Oh，Edward！Don’tbesogentle！Isupposeyoudon’tthinkapersonlikemecaneverreallylove？"

Hewasstandingbeforeherwithhisheaddown，andasensethat，naiveandbat—likeashewas，therewassomethinginhimshecouldnotreachorunderstand，madehercryout:

"I’venotbeennicetoyou。Forgiveme，Edward！I’msounhappy。"

"TherewasaGreekwhousedtosay:’Godisthehelpingofmanbyman。’Itisn’ttrue，butit’sbeautiful。Good—bye，dearLeila，anddon’tbesorrowful"

Shesqueezedhishand，andturnedtothewindow。

Shestoodtherewatchinghisblackfigurecrosstheroadinthesunshine，andpassroundthecornerbytherailingsofthechurch。

Hewalkedquickly，veryupright;therewassomethingunseeingevenaboutthatbackviewofhim;orwasitthathesaw—anotherworld？

Shehadneverlostthementalhabitsofherorthodoxgirlhood，andinspiteofallimpatience，recognisedhissanctity。Whenhehaddisappearedshewentintoherbedroom。Whathehadsaid，indeed，wasnodiscovery。Shehadknown。Oh！Shehadknown。’Whydidn’tI

acceptJimmy’soffer？Whydidn’tImarryhim？Isittoolate？’shethought。’CouldI？Wouldhe——evennow？’Butthenshestartedawayfromherownthought。Marryhim！knowinghisheartwaswiththisgirl？