第16章

"There’smoney，butnofaithinthings。Wedon’tlaybyforthefuture。Theseyoungsters——it’sallashortlifeandamerryonewiththem。"

"There’sahat！"saidWinifred。"Idon’tknow——whenyoucometothinkofthepeoplekilledandallthatintheWar，it’sratherwonderful，Ithink。There’snoothercountry——Prospersaystherestareallbankrupt，exceptAmerica;andofcoursehermenalwaystooktheirstyleindressfromus。"

"Isthatchap，"saidSoames，"reallygoingtotheSouthSeas？"

"Oh！oneneverknowswhereProsper’sgoing！"

"He’sasignofthetimes，"mutteredSoames，"ifyoulike。"

Winifred’shandgrippedhisarm。

"Don’tturnyourhead，"shesaidinalowvoice，"butlooktoyourrightinthefrontrowoftheStand。"

Soameslookedasbesthecouldunderthatlimitation。Amaninagreytophat，grey—bearded，withthinbrown，foldedcheeks，andacertaineleganceofposture，sattherewithawomaninalawn—

colouredfrock，whosedarkeyeswerefixedonhimself。Soameslookedquicklyathisfeet。Howfunnilyfeetmoved，oneaftertheotherlikethat！Winifred’svoicesaidinhisear:

"Jolyonlooksveryill;buthealwayshadstyle。Shedoesn’tchange—

—exceptherhair。"

"WhydidyoutellFleuraboutthatbusiness？"

"Ididn’t;shepickeditup。Ialwaysknewshewould。"

"Well，it’samess。She’ssetherheartupontheirboy。"

"Thelittlewretch，"murmuredWinifred。"Shetriedtotakemeinaboutthat。Whatshallyoudo，Soames？"

"Beguidedbyevents。"

Theymovedon，silent，inthealmostsolidcrowd。

"Really，"saidWinifredsuddenly;"italmostseemslikeFate。Onlythat’ssoold—fashioned。Look！thereareGeorgeandEustace！"

GeorgeForsyte’sloftybulkhadhaltedbeforethem。

"Hallo，Soames！"hesaid。"JustmetProfondandyourwife。You’llcatch’emifyouputonpace。DidyouevergotoseeoldTimothy？"

Soamesnodded，andthestreamsforcedthemapart。

"IalwayslikedoldGeorge，"saidWinifred。"He’ssodroll。"

"Ineverdid，"saidSoames。"Where’syourseat？Ishallgotomine。

Fleurmaybebackthere。"

HavingseenWinifredtoherseat，heregainedhisown，consciousofsmall，white，distantfiguresrunning，theclickofthebat，thecheersandcounter—cheers。NoFleur，andnoAnnette！Youcouldexpectnothingofwomennowadays！Theyhadthevote。Theywere"emancipated，"andmuchgooditwasdoingthem！SoWinifredwouldgoback，wouldshe，andputupwithDartiealloveragain？Tohavethepastoncemore——tobesittinghereashehadsatin’83and’84，beforehewascertainthathismarriagewithIrenehadgoneallwrong，beforeherantagonismhadbecomesoglaringthatwiththebestwillintheworldhecouldnotoverlookit。Thesightofherwiththatfellowhadbroughtallmemoryback。Evennowhecouldnotunderstandwhyshehadbeensoimpracticable。Shecouldloveothermen;shehaditinher！Tohimself，theonepersonsheoughttohaveloved，shehadchosentorefuseherheart。Itseemedtohim，fantastically，ashelookedback，thatallthismodernrelaxationofmarriage——thoughitsformsandlawswerethesameaswhenhemarriedher——thatallthismodernloosenesshadcomeoutofherrevolt;itseemedtohim，fantastically，thatshehadstartedit，tillalldecentownershipofanythinghadgone，orwasonthepointofgoing。

Allcamefromher！Andnow——aprettystateofthings！Homes！Howcouldyouhavethemwithoutmutualownership？Notthathehadeverhadarealhome！Buthadthatbeenhisfault？Hehaddonehisbest。

Andhisrewardswere——thosetwosittinginthatStand，andthisaffairofFleur’s！

Andovercomebylonelinesshethought:’Shan’twaitanylonger！Theymustfindtheirownwaybacktothehotel——iftheymeantocome！’

Hailingacaboutsidetheground，hesaid:

"DrivemetotheBayswaterRoad。"Hisoldauntshadneverfailedhim。Tothemhehadmeantanever—welcomevisitor。Thoughtheyweregone，there，still，wasTimothy！

Smitherwasstandingintheopendoorway。

"Mr。Soames！Iwasjusttakingtheair。Cookwillbesopleased。"

"HowisMr。Timothy？"

"Nothimselfatalltheselastfewdays，sir;he’sbeentalkingagreatdeal。Onlythismorninghewassaying:’MybrotherJames，he’sgettingold。’Hismindwanders，Mr。Soames，andthenhewilltalkofthem。Hetroublesabouttheirinvestments。Theotherdayhesaid:

’There’smybrotherJolyonwon’tlookatConsols’——heseemedquitedownaboutit。Comein，Mr。Soames，comein！It’ssuchapleasantchange！"

"Well，"saidSoames，"justforafewminutes。"

"No，"murmuredSmitherinthehall，wheretheairhadthesingularfreshnessoftheoutsideday，"wehaven’tbeenverysatisfiedwithhim，notallthisweek。He’salwaysbeenonetoleaveatitbittotheend;buteversinceMondayhe’sbeeneatingitfirst。Ifyounoticeadog，Mr。Soames，atitsdinner，iteatsthemeatfirst。

We’vealwaysthoughtitsuchagoodsignofMr。Timothyathisagetoleaveittothelast，butnowheseemstohavelostallhisself—

control;and，ofcourse，itmakeshimleavetherest。Thedoctordoesn’tmakeanythingofit，but"——Smithershookherhead——"heseemstothinkhe’sgottoeatitfirst，incaseheshouldn’tgettoit。

Thatandhistalkingmakesusanxious。"

"Hashesaidanythingimportant？"

"Ishouldn’tliketosaythat，Mr。Soames;buthe’sturnedagainsthisWill。Hegetsquitepettish——andafterhavinghaditouteverymorningforyears，itdoesseemfunny。Hesaidtheotherday:’Theywantmymoney。’Itgavemesuchaturn，because，asIsaidtohim，nobodywantshismoney，I’msure。Anditdoesseemapityheshouldbethinkingaboutmoneyathistimeoflife。Itookmycourageinmy’ands。’Youknow，Mr。Timothy，’Isaid，’mydearmistress’——that’sMissForsyte，Mr。Soames，MissAnnthattrainedme——’sheneverthoughtaboutmoney，’Isaid，’itwasallcharacterwithher。’Helookedatme，Ican’ttellyouhowfunny，andhesaidquitedry:

’Nobodywantsmycharacter。’Thinkofhissayingathinglikethat！

Butsometimeshe’llsaysomethingassharpandsensibleasanything。"

Soames，whohadbeenstaringatanoldprintbythehat—rack，thinking，’That’sgotvalue！’murmured:"I’llgoupandseehim，Smither。"

"Cook’swithhim，"answeredSmitherabovehercorsets;"shewillbepleasedtoseeyou。"

Hemountedslowly，withthethought:’Shan’tcaretolivetobethatage。’

Onthesecondfloor，hepaused，andtapped。Thedoorwasopened，andhesawtheroundhomelyfaceofawomanaboutsixty。

"Mr。Soames！"shesaid:"Why！Mr。Soames！"

Soamesnodded。"Allright，Cook！"andentered。

Timothywasproppedupinbed，withhishandsjoinedbeforehischest，andhiseyesfixedontheceiling，whereaflywasstandingupsidedown。Soamesstoodatthefootofthebed，facinghim。

"UncleTimothy，"hesaid，raisinghisvoice。"UncleTimothy！"

Timothy’seyesleftthefly，andlevelledthemselvesonhisvisitor。

Soamescouldseehispaletonguepassingoverhisdarkishlips。

"UncleTimothy，"hesaidagain，"isthereanythingIcandoforyou？

Isthereanythingyou’dliketosay？"

"Ha！"saidTimothy。

"I’vecometolookyouupandseethateverything’sallright。"

Timothynodded。Heseemedtryingtogetusedtotheapparitionbeforehim。

"Haveyougoteverythingyouwant？"

"No，"saidTimothy。

"CanIgetyouanything？"

"No，"saidTimothy。

"I’mSoames，youknow;yournephew，SoamesForsyte。YourbrotherJames’son。"

Timothynodded。

"IshallbedelightedtodoanythingIcanforyou。"

Timothybeckoned。Soameswentclosetohim:

"You——"saidTimothyinavoicewhichseemedtohaveoutlivedtone，"youtellthemallfromme——youtellthemall——"andhisfingertappedonSoames’arm，"toholdon——holdon——Consolsaregoin’up，"

andhenoddedthrice。

"Allright！"saidSoames;"Iwill。"

"Yes，"saidTimothy，and，fixinghiseyesagainontheceiling，headded:"Thatfly！"

Strangelymoved，SoameslookedattheCook’spleasantfattishface，alllittlepuckersfromstaringatfires。

"That’lldohimaworldofgood，sir，"shesaid。

AmuttercamefromTimothy，buthewasclearlyspeakingtohimself，andSoameswentoutwiththecook。

"IwishIcouldmakeyouapinkcream，Mr。Soames，likeinolddays;

youdidsorelishthem。Good—bye，sir;ithasbeenapleasure。"

"Takecareofhim，Cook，heisold。"

And，shakinghercrumpledhand，hewentdown—stairs。Smitherwasstilltakingtheairinthedoorway。

"Whatdoyouthinkofhim，Mr。Soames？"

"H’m！"Soamesmurmured:"He’slosttouch。"

"Yes，"saidSmither，"Iwasafraidyou’dthinkthatcomingfreshoutoftheworldtoseehimlike。"

"Smither，"saidSoames，"we’reallindebtedtoyou。"

"Oh，no，Mr。Soames，don’tsaythat！It’sapleasure——he’ssuchawonderfulman。"

"Well，good—bye！"saidSoames，andgotintohistaxi。

’Goingup！’hethought;’goingup！’

ReachingthehotelatKnightsbridgehewenttotheirsitting—room，andrangfortea。Neitherofthemwerein。Andagainthatsenseoflonelinesscameoverhim。Thesehotels。Whatmonstrousgreatplacestheywerenow！HecouldrememberwhentherewasnothingbiggerthanLong’sorBrown’s，Morley’sortheTavistock，andtheheadsthatwereshakenovertheLanghamandtheGrand。HotelsandClubs——ClubsandHotels;noendtothemnow！AndSoames，whohadjustbeenwatchingatLord’samiracleoftraditionandcontinuity，fellintoreverieoverthechangesinthatLondonwherehehadbeenbornfive—and—sixtyyearsbefore。WhetherConsolsweregoingupornot，Londonhadbecomeaterrificproperty。Nosuchpropertyintheworld，unlessitwereNewYork！Therewasalotofhysteriainthepapersnowadays;

butanyonewho，likehimself，couldrememberLondonsixtyyearsago，andseeitnow，realisedthefecundityandelasticityofwealth。

Theyhadonlytokeeptheirheads，andgoatitsteadily。Why！herememberedcobblestones，andstinkingstrawonthefloorofyourcab。

AndoldTimothy——whatcouldbenothavetoldthem，ifhehadkepthismemory！Thingswereunsettled，peopleinafunkorinahurry，butherewereLondonandtheThames，andouttheretheBritishEmpire，andtheendsoftheearth。"Consolsaregoin’up！"Heshouldn’tbeabitsurprised。Itwasthebreedthatcounted。Andallthatwasbull—doggedinSoamesstaredforamomentoutofhisgreyeyes，tilldivertedbytheprintofaVictorianpictureonthewalls。Thehotelhadboughtthreedozenofthatlittlelot！Theoldhuntingor"Rake’sProgress"printsintheoldinnswereworthlookingat——butthissentimentalstuff——well，Victorianismhadgone！"Tellthemtoholdon！"oldTimothyhadsaid。Buttowhatweretheytoholdoninthismodernwelterofthe"democraticprinciple"？Why，evenprivacywasthreatened！Andatthethoughtthatprivacymightperish，Soamespushedbackhisteacupandwenttothewindow。FancyowningnomoreofNaturethanthecrowdoutthereownedoftheflowersandtreesandwatersofHydePark！No，no！Privatepossessionunderlayeverythingworthhaving。Theworldhadslippeditssanityabit，asdogsnowandagainatfullmoonslippedtheirsandwentoffforanight’srabbiting;buttheworld，likethedog，knewwhereitsbreadwasbutteredanditsbedwarm，andwouldcomebacksureenoughtotheonlyhomeworthhaving——toprivateownership。Theworldwasinitssecondchildhoodforthemoment，likeoldTimothy——eatingitstitbitfirst！

Heheardasoundbehindhim，andsawthathiswifeanddaughterhadcomein。

"Soyou’reback！"hesaid。

Fleurdidnotanswer;shestoodforamomentlookingathimandhermother，thenpassedintoherbedroom。Annettepouredherselfoutacupoftea。

"IamgoingtoParis，tomymother，Soames。""Oh！Toyourmother？"

"Yes。"

"Forhowlong？"

"Idonotknow。"

"Andwhenareyougoing？"

"OnMonday。"

Wasshereallygoingtohermother？Odd，howindifferenthefelt！

Odd，howclearlyshehadperceivedtheindifferencehewouldfeelsolongastherewasnoscandal。Andsuddenlybetweenherandhimselfhesawdistinctlythefacehehadseenthatafternoon——Irene’s。

"Willyouwantmoney？"

"Thankyou;Ihaveenough。"

"Verywell。Letusknowwhenyouarecomingback。"

Annetteputdownthecakeshewasfingering，and，lookingupthroughdarkenedlashes，said:

"ShallIgiveMamananymessage？"

"Myregards。"

Annettestretchedherself，herhandsonherwaist，andsaidinFrench:

"Whatluckthatyouhaveneverlovedme，Soames！"Thenrising，shetoolefttheroom。SoameswasgladshehadspokenitinFrench——itseemedtorequirenodealingwith。Againthatotherface——pale，dark—eyed，beautifulstill！Andtherestirredfardownwithinhimtheghostofwarmth，asfromsparkslingeringbeneathamoundofflakyash。AndFleurinfatuatedwithherboy！Queerchance！Yet，wastheresuchathingaschance？Amanwentdownastreet，abrickfellonhishead。Ah！thatwaschance，nodoubt。Butthis！

"Inherited，"hisgirlhadsaid。She——shewas"holdingon"！

PARTIII

I

OLDJOLYONWALKS

TwofoldimpulsehadmadeJolyonsaytohiswifeatbreakfast"Let’sgouptoLord’s！"

"Wanted"——somethingtoabatetheanxietyinwhichthosetwohadlivedduringthesixtyhourssinceJonhadbroughtFleurdown。"Wanted"——

too，thatwhichmightassuagethepangsofmemoryinonewhoknewhemightlosethemanyday！

Fifty—eightyearsagoJolyonhadbecomeanEtonboy，foroldJolyon’swhimhadbeenthatheshouldbecanonisedatthegreatestpossibleexpense。YearafteryearhehadgonetoLord’sfromStanhopeGatewithafatherwhoseyouthintheeighteen—twentieshadbeenpassedwithoutpolishinthegameofcricket。OldJolyonwouldspeakquiteopenlyofswipes，fulltosses，halfandthree—quarterballs;andyoungJolyonwiththeguilelesssnobberyofyouthhadtrembledlesthissireshouldbeoverheard。Onlyinthissupremematterofcrickethehadbeennervous，forhisfather——inCrimeanwhiskersthen——hadeverimpressedhimasthebeauideal。Thoughnevercanonisedhimself，OldJolyon’snaturalfastidiousnessandbalancehadsavedhimfromtheerrorsofthevulgar。Howdelicious，afterhowlinginatophatandaswelteringheat，togohomewithhisfatherinahansomcab，bathe，dress，andforthtothe"Disunion"Club，todineoffwhitebait，cutlets，andatart，andgo——two"swells，"oldandyoung，inlavenderkidgloves——totheoperaorplay。AndonSunday，whenthematchwasover，andhistophatdulybroken，downwithhisfatherinaspecialhansomtothe"CrownandSceptre，"andtheterraceabovetheriver——thegoldensixtieswhentheworldwassimple，dandiesglamorous，Democracynotborn，andthebooksofWhyteMelvillecomingthickandfast。

Agenerationlater，withhisownboy，Jolly，Harrow—buttonholedwithcorn—flowers——byoldJolyon’swhimhisgrandsonhadbeencanonisedatatriflelessexpense——againJolyonhadexperiencedtheheatandcounter—passionsoftheday，andcomebacktothecoolandthestrawberrybedsofRobinHill，andbilliardsafterdinner，hisboymakingthemostheart—breakingflukesandtryingtoseemlanguidandgrown—up。Thosetwodayseachyearheandhissonhadbeenalonetogetherintheworld，oneoneachside——andDemocracyjustborn！

Andso，hehadunearthedagreytophat，borrowedatinybitoflight—blueribbonfromIrene，andgingerly，keepingcool，bycarandtrainandtaxi，hadreachedLord’sGround。There，besideherinalawn—colouredfrockwithnarrowblackedges，hehadwatchedthegame，andfelttheoldthrillstirwithinhim。

WhenSoamespassed，thedaywasspoiled。Irene’sfacewasdistortedbycompressionofthelips。NogoodtogoonsittingherewithSoamesorperhapshisdaughterrecurringinfrontofthem，likedecimals。Andhesaid:

"Well，dear，ifyou’vehadenough——let’sgo！"

ThateveningJolyonfeltexhausted。Notwantinghertoseehimthus，hewaitedtillshehadbeguntoplay，andstoleofftothelittlestudy。Heopenedthelongwindowforair，andthedoor，thathemightstillhearhermusicdriftingin;and，settledinhisfather’soldarmchair，closedhiseyes，withhisheadagainstthewornbrownleather。LikethatpassageoftheCesarFranckSonata——sohadbeenhislifewithher，adivinethirdmovement。AndnowthisbusinessofJon’s——thisbadbusiness！Driftedtotheedgeofconsciousness，hehardlyknewifitwereinsleepthathesmelledthescentofacigar，andseemedtoseehisfatherintheblacknessbeforehisclosedeyes。

Thatshapeformed，went，andformedagain;asifintheverychairwherehehimselfwassitting，hesawhisfather，black—coated，with。

kneescrossed，glassesbalancedbetweenthumbandfinger;sawthebigwhitemoustaches，andthedeepeyeslookingupbelowadomeofforeheadandseemingtosearchhisown，seemingtospeak。"Areyoufacingit，Jo？It’sforyoutodecide。She’sonlyawoman！"Ah！

howwellheknewhisfatherinthatphrase;howalltheVictorianAgecameupwithit！Andhisanswer"No，I’vefunkedit——funkedhurtingherandJonandmyself。I’vegotaheart;I’vefunkedit。"Buttheoldeyes，somucholder，somuchyoungerthanhisown，keptatit;

"It’syourwife，yourson;yourpast。Tackleit，myboy！"Wasitamessagefromwalkingspirit;orbuttheinstinctofhissirelivingonwithinhim？Andagaincamethatscentofcigarsmoke—fromtheoldsaturatedleather。Well！hewouldtackleit，writetoJon，andputthewholethingdowninblackandwhite！Andsuddenlyhebreathedwithdifficulty，withasenseofsuffocation，asifhisheartwereswollen。Hegotupandwentoutintotheair。Thestarswereverybright。Hepassedalongtheterraceroundthecornerofthehouse，till，throughthewindowofthemusic—room，hecouldseeIreneatthepiano，withlamp—lightfallingonherpowderyhair;withdrawnintoherselfsheseemed，herdarkeyesstaringstraightbeforeher，herhandsidle。Jolyonsawherraisethosehandsandclaspthemoverherbreast。’It’sJon，withher，’hethought;’allJon！I’mdyingoutofher——it’snatural！’

And，carefulnottobeseen，hestoleback。

Nextday，afterabadnight，hesatdowntohistask。Hewrotewithdifficultyandmanyerasures。

"MYDEARESTBOY，"Youareoldenoughtounderstandhowverydifficultitisforelderstogivethemselvesawaytotheiryoung。Especiallywhen——likeyourmotherandmyself，thoughIshallneverthinkofherasanythingbutyoung——theirheartsarealtogethersetonhimtowhomtheymustconfess。Icannotsayweareconsciousofhavingsinnedexactly——

peopleinreallifeveryseldomare，Ibelieve——butmostpersonswouldsaywehad，andatalleventsourconduct，righteousornot，hasfoundusout。Thetruthis，mydear，webothhavepasts，whichitisnowmytasktomakeknowntoyou，becausetheysogrievouslyanddeeplyaffectyourfuture。Many，verymanyyearsago，asfarbackindeedas1883，whenshewasonlytwenty，yourmotherhadthegreatandlastingmisfortunetomakeanunhappymarriage——no，notwithme，Jon。Withoutmoneyofherown，andwithonlyastepmother——

closelyrelatedtoJezebel——shewasveryunhappyinherhomelife。

ItwasFleur’sfatherthatshemarried，mycousinSoamesForsyte。Hehadpursuedherverytenaciouslyandtodohimjusticewasdeeplyinlovewithher。Withinaweeksheknewthefearfulmistakeshehadmade。Itwasnothisfault;itwashererrorofjudgment——hermisfortune。"

SofarJolyonhadkeptsomesemblanceofirony，butnowhissubjectcarriedhimaway。

"Jon，IwanttoexplaintoyouifIcan——andit’sveryhard——howitisthatanunhappymarriagesuchasthiscansoeasilycomeabout。

Youwillofcoursesay:’Ifshedidn’treallylovehimhowcouldsheeverhavemarriedhim？’Youwouldberightifitwerenotforoneortworatherterribleconsiderations。Fromthisinitialmistakeofhersallthesubsequenttrouble，sorrow，andtragedyhavecome，andsoImustmakeitcleartoyouifIcan。Yousee，Jon，inthosedaysandeventothisday——indeed，Idon’tsee，forallthetalkofenlightenment，howitcanwellbeotherwise——mostgirlsaremarriedignorantofthesexualsideoflife。Eveniftheyknowwhatitmeanstheyhavenotexperiencedit。That’sthecrux。Itisthisactuallackofexperience，whateververbalknowledgetheyhave，whichmakesallthedifferenceandallthetrouble。Inavastnumberofmarriages—andyourmother’swasone——girlsarenotandcannotbecertainwhethertheylovethemantheymarryornot;theydonotknowuntilafterthatactofunionwhichmakestherealityofmarriage。

Now，inmany，perhapsinmostdoubtfulcases，thisactcementsandstrengthenstheattachment，butinothercases，andyourmother’swasone，itisarevelationofmistake，adestructionofsuchattractionastherewas。Thereisnothingmoretragicinawoman’slifethansucharevelation，growingdaily，nightlyclearer。

Coarse—grainedandunthinkingpeopleareapttolaughatsuchamistake，andsay，’Whatafussaboutnothing！’Narrowandself—

righteouspeople，onlycapableofjudgingthelivesofothersbytheirown，areapttocondemnthosewhomakethistragicerror，tocondemnthemforlifetothedungeonstheyhavemadeforthemselves。

Youknowtheexpression:’Shehasmadeherbed，shemustlieonit！’

Itisahard—mouthedsaying，quiteunworthyofagentlemanorladyinthebestsenseofthosewords;andIcanusenostrongercondemnation。Ihavenotbeenwhatiscalledamoralman，butIwishtousenowordstoyou，mydear，whichwillmakeyouthinklightlyoftiesorcontractsintowhichyouenter。Heavenforbid！ButwiththeexperienceofalifebehindmeIdosaythatthosewhocondemnthevictimsofthesetragicmistakes，condemnthemandholdoutnohandstohelpthem，areinhuman，orrathertheywouldbeiftheyhadtheunderstandingtoknowwhattheyaredoing。Buttheyhaven’t！Letthemgo！TheyareasmuchanathematomeasI，nodoubt，amtothem。

Ihavehadtosayallthis，becauseIamgoingtoputyouintoapositiontojudgeyourmother，andyouareveryyoung，withoutexperienceofwhatlifeis。Togoonwiththestory。Afterthreeyearsofefforttosubduehershrinking——Iwasgoingtosayherloathingandit’snottoostrongaword，forshrinkingsoonbecomesloathingundersuchcircumstances——threeyearsofwhattoasensitive，beauty—lovingnaturelikeyourmother’s，Jon，wastorment，shemetayoungmanwhofellinlovewithher。Hewasthearchitectofthisveryhousethatweliveinnow，hewasbuildingitforherandFleur’sfathertolivein，anewprisontoholdher，inplaceoftheonesheinhabitedwithhiminLondon。Perhapsthatfactplayedsomepartinwhatcameofit。Butinanycaseshe，too，fellinlovewithhim。Iknowit’snotnecessarytoexplaintoyouthatonedoesnotpreciselychoosewithwhomonewillfallinlove。Itcomes。

Verywell！Itcame。Icanimagine——thoughsheneversaidmuchtomeaboutit——thestrugglethatthentookplaceinher，because，Jon，shewasbroughtupstrictlyandwasnotlightinherideas——notatall。

However，thiswasanoverwhelmingfeeling，anditcametopassthattheylovedindeedaswellasinthought。Thencameafearfultragedy。ImusttellyouofitbecauseifIdon’tyouwillneverunderstandtherealsituationthatyouhavenowtoface。Themanwhomshehadmarried——SoamesForsyte，thefatherofFleuronenight，attheheightofherpassionforthisyoungman，forciblyreassertedhisrightsoverher。Thenextdayshemetherloverandtoldhimofit。Whetherhecommittedsuicideorwhetherhewasaccidentallyrunoverinhisdistraction，weneverknew;butsoitwas。Thinkofyourmotherasshewasthateveningwhensheheardofhisdeath。I

happenedtoseeher。YourgrandfathersentmetohelpherifI

could。Ionlyjustsawher，beforethedoorwasshutagainstmebyherhusband。ButIhaveneverforgottenherface，Icanseeitnow。

Iwasnotinlovewithherthen，notfortwelveyearsafter，butI

haveneverforgotten。Mydearboy——itisnoteasytowritelikethis。Butyousee，Imust。Yourmotheriswrappedupinyou，utterly，devotedly。Idon’twishtowriteharshlyofSoamesForsyte。

Idon’tthinkharshlyofhim。Ihavelongbeensorryforhim;

perhapsIwassorryeventhen。Astheworldjudgesshewasinerror，hewithinhisrights。Helovedher——inhisway。Shewashisproperty。Thatistheviewheholdsoflife——ofhumanfeelingsandhearts——property。It’snothisfault——sowasheborn。Tomeitisaviewthathasalwaysbeenabhorrent——sowasIborn！KnowingyouasI

do，Ifeelitcannotbeotherwisethanabhorrenttoyou。Letmegoonwiththestory。Yourmotherfledfromhishousethatnight;fortwelveyearsshelivedquietlyalonewithoutcompanionshipofanysort，untilin1899herhusband——yousee，hewasstillherhusband，forhedidnotattempttodivorceher，andsheofcoursehadnorighttodivorcehim——becameconscious，itseems，ofthewantofchildren，andcommencedalongattempttoinducehertogobacktohimandgivehimachild。Iwashertrusteethen，underyourGrandfather’sWill，andIwatchedthisgoingon。Whilewatching，Ibecameattachedtoher，devotedlyattached。Hispressureincreased，tillonedayshecametomehereandpracticallyputherselfundermyprotection。Herhusband，whowaskeptinformedofallhermovements，attemptedtoforceusapartbybringingadivorcesuit，orpossiblyhereallymeantit，Idon’tknow;butanywayournameswerepubliclyjoined。