第5章

Sometimes，"sheepishly，"I’vetrieditmyself——p’rapsit’strue。Ididitthismornin’whenIsatdownan’

pulledmesackoverme’eadonthebridge。Polly’dbeencryin’soloudallnightI’dgotabitlowinmestummickan’——"ShestoppedsuddenlyandturnedonDartasiflighthadflashedacrosshermind。"Dunnonothin’aboutit，"shestammered，"butISAIDit——justlikeshedoes。

an’YOUcome！"

Plainlyshehadutteredwhateverwordsshehadusedintheformofasortofincantation，andherewastheresultinthelivingbodyofthismansittingbeforeher。Shestaredhardathim，repeatingherwords:"YOU

come。Yes，youdid。"

"Itwastheanswer，"saidMissMontaubyn，withentiresimplicityasshebitoffherthread，"that’swotitwas。"

AntonyDartliftedhisheavyhead。

"Youbelieveit，"hesaid。

"I’mlivin’onbelievin’it，"shesaidconfidingly。"Iain’tgotnothin’else。An’answerskeepscomin’andcomin’。"

"Whatanswers？"

"Bitso’work——an’thingsas’elps。Gladthere，she’sone。"

"Aw，"saidGlad，"Iain’tnothin’。

Ilikesto’earyertellaboutit。Sheses，"toDartagain，alittleslowly，asshewatchedhisfacewithcuriouslyquestioningeyes——"sheses’E’Sintheroom——sameas’E’severywhere——inthis’ereroom。Sometimesshetalksoutloudto’Im。"

"What！"criedDart，startledagain。

ThestrangeMajesticAwfulIdea——theDeityoftheAges——tobespokenofasamereunfearedReality！

Andevenasthevaguelyformedthoughtspranginhisbrainhestartedoncemore，suddenlyconfrontedbythemeaninghissenseofshockimplied。WhathadallthesermonsofallthecenturiesbeenpreachingbutthatitwasReality？WhathadalltheinfidelsofeveryagecontendedbutthatitwasUnreal，andthefollyofadream？Hehadneverthoughtofhimselfasaninfidel;perhapsitwouldhaveshockedhimtobecalledone，thoughhewasnotquitesure。

Butthatalittlesuperannuateddanceratmusic—halls，batteredandwornbyanunlawfullife，shouldsitandsmileinabsolutefaithatsucha——asuperstitionasthis，stirredsomethinglikeaweinhim。

Forshewassmilinginentireacquiescence。

"It’swhatthecurickses，"sheenlargedradiantly。"Though’edontbelieveit，poreyoungman;’eon’ythinks’edoes。`It’sfor’ighan’

low，’’eses，`foryouan’measwellasforthemasisroyalfambleys。

TheAlmighty’E’sEVERYWHERE！’

`Yes，’sesI，`I’vefelt’Im’ere——asnearasy’areyerself，sir，I’ave——an’

I’vespoketo’Im。"’

"Whatdidthecuratesay？"Dartasked，amazed。

"Seemedlikeitfrightened’imabit。`Wemustn’tbetoobold，MissMontaubyn，mydear，’’eses，for’e’sakindyoungmanaseverlived，an’

oftenses`mydear’tothem’e’scomfortin’。Butyerseethelidy’adgavemeaBibleo’meownan’I’dset’erean’readit，an’readitan’learnedversestosaytomeselfwhenIwasinbed——an’I’dgotterfeellikeitwassomeonetalkin’tomean’makin’meunderstand。SoIses，`’Tain’tboldnesswe’rewarnedagainst;it’snotlovin’an’trustin’enough，an’notaskin’an’believin’TRUE。Don’tyerrememberwotitses:"I，evenI，am’ethatcomfortethyer。Whoartthouthatthouartafraidofmanthatshalldiean’thesonofmanthatshallbemadeasgrass，an’forgettethJehovahthyCreator，thatstretchedforththe’eavensan’laidthefoundationsoftheearth？"an’"I’vecoveredtheewiththeshadderofme’and，"itses;an’"Iwillgobeforetheean’maketheroughplacessmooth;"an’"’Ithertoye’aveaskednothin’inmyname;askthereforethatyemayreceive，an’yerjoymaybemadefull。"’An’’elookeddownonthefloorasif’ewasdoin’some’ardthinkin’，poreyoungman，an’’eses，quitesuddenan’shaky，`Lord，I

believe，’elpthoumyunbelief，’an’’esesitasif’ewasintroublean’didn’tknow’e’dspokeoutloud。"

"Where——howdidyoucomeuponyourverses？"saidDart。"Howdidyoufindthem？"

"Ah，"triumphantly，"theywasallanswers——theywasthefirstanswersIever’ad。WhenIfirstcome’omean’itseemedasifIwasgoin’

tobeswep’awayinthedirto’thestreet——onedaywhenIwasneardrovewildwithcoldan’’unger，I

setdownontheflooran’IdraggedtheBibletomean’Ises:`Thereain’tnothin’onearthorin’ellas’ll’elpme。I’mgoin’todowotthelidysaid——madornot。’An’I’eldthebook——an’I’eldmybreath，too，’cositwaslikewaitin’fortheendo’

theworld——an’afterabitI’earsmyselfcalloutina’ollerwhisper，`Speak，Lord，thyservant’eareth。

Showmea’ope。’An’Iwastremblin’

alloverwhenIopenedthebook。An’thereitwas！`Iwillgobeforetheean’maketheroughplacessmooth，Iwillbreakinpiecesthedoorsofbrassandwillcutinsunderthebarsofiron。’An’I

knoweditwasaanswer。"

"You——knew——it——wasananswer？"

"Wotelsewasit？"withashiningface。"I’darstforit，an’thereitwas。An’inaboutahourGladcomerunnin’up’ere，an’she’d’adabito’luck——"

"’Twasn’tnothin’much，"Gladbrokeindeprecatingly，"on’yI’dgotsomethin’toeatan’abito’fire。"

"An’shemademegoan’’avea’eartymeal，an’setan’warmmeself。

An’shewasthatcheerflean’fullo’

pluck，she’elpedmetoforgetaboutthethingsthatwasmakin’meintoamadwoman。SHEwastheanswer——

sameasthebook’adpromised。Theycomesindifferentwyestheanswersdoes。Blessyer，theydon’tcomeinclapsofthunderan’streakso’lightenin’——

theyjustcomeseasyan’natural——

so’ssometimesyerdon’tthinkforaminitortwothatthey’reanswersatall。Butitcomestoyerinabitan’yer’eartstandsstillforjoy。

An’eversincethenIjustgotomebookan’arst。P’raps，"hersmileanilluminatingthing，"mebein’thelowan’poreinspiritatthebeginnin’，an’settin’’ereallalonebyme—

selfdayinan’dayout，justthinkin’

itallover——an’arstin’——an’waitin’

——p’rapslightwasgaveme’cosI

wasinsuchalittleplacean’inthedark。ButIain’tporeinspiritnow。

Lor’，no，yercan’tbewhenyer’veon’ygottobelieve。`An’’ithertoye’avearstnothin’inmyname;

arstthereforethatyemayreceivean’yerjoybemadefull。’"

"AmIsittingherelisteningtoanoldfemalereprobate’sdisquisitiononreligion？"passedthroughAntonyDart’smind。"WhyamIlistening？

IamdoingitbecausehereisacreaturewhoBELIEVES——knowingnodoctrine，knowingnochurch。

SheBELIEVES——shethinkssheKNOWS

herDeityisbyherside。Sheisnotafraid。TohersimplenesstheawfulUnknownistheKnown——andWITH

her。"

"Supposeitweretrue，"heutteredaloud，inresponsetoasenseofinwardtremor，"suppose——it——were——TRUE？"Andhewasnotspeakingeithertothewomanorthegirl，andhisforeheadwasdamp。

"Gawd！"saidGlad，herchinalmostonherknees，hereyesstaringfearsomely。"S’poseitwas——an’ussittin’’erean’notknowin’it——an’

nooneknowin’it——norgettin’thegoodofit。Simeasif——"ponderinghardinsearchofsimile，"simeasifnoone’adneverknowedabout’lectricity，an’therewasn’tno’lectriclightsnorno’lectricnothin’。Onctnobodyknowed，an’allthesimeitwasthere——jestwaitin’。"

Herfantasticlaughendedforherwithalittlechoking，vaguelyhystericsound。

"Blimme，"shesaid。"Ain’titqueer，usnotknowin’——IFIT’STRUE。"

AntonyDartbentforwardinhischair。Helookedfarintotheeyesoftheex—dancerasifsomeunseenthingwithinthemmightanswerhim。MissMontaubynherselfforthemomenthedidnotsee。

"What，"hestammeredhoarsely，hisvoicebrokenwithawe，"whatofthehideouswrongs——thewoesandhorrors——andhideouswrongs？"

"Therewouldn’tbenoneifWE

wasright——ifweneverthoughtnothin’

but`Good’scomin’——good’s’ere。’Ifweeveryoneofusthoughtit——everyminitofeveryday。"

Shedidnotknowshewasspeakingofamillennium——theendoftheworld。Shesatbyheronecandle，threadingherneedleandbelievingshewasspeakingofTo—day。

Helaughedahollowlaugh。

"Ifwewereright！"hesaid。"Itwouldtakelong——long——long——tomakeusallso。"

"Itwouldbeslowp’raps。Well，soitwould——butgoodcomesquickforthemasbeginscallin’it。It’sbeenquickforME，"drawingherthreadthroughtheneedle’seyetriumphantly。"Lor’，yes，melegsisbetter——meluck’sbetter——people’sbetter。Blessyer，yes！"

"It’strue，"saidGlad;"shegetsonsomehow。Thingscomes。Sheneverwantsnodrink。Menow，"

sheappliedtoMissMontaubyn，"ifItookitupsameasyou——wot’dcometoagallikeme？"

"Wotudyerwanttercome？"

Dartsawthatinhermindwasanabsolutelackofanypremonitionofobstacle。"Wot’dyerarstferinyerownmind？"

Gladreflectedprofoundly。

"Polly，"shesaid，"shewantstogo’ometo’ermotheran’tothecountry。

Iain’tgotnomotheran’wotI

’earofthecountryseemslikeI’dgettiredofit。Nothin’butquietan’

lambsan’birdsan’thingsgrowin。’

Me，Ilikesthingsgoin’on。Ilikespeoplean’’andorgansan’’buses。I’dstay’ere——sameasItoldYOU，"withajerkofherhandtowardDart。

"An’dothingsinthecourt——ifI’adabito’money。Idon’twanttolivenogaylifewhenI’mawoman。

It’stoo’ard。Usporeunsendstoobad。WishtIknowedIcouldgetonsome’ow。"

"Good’llcome，"saidMissMontaubyn。"Justyousaythesameasmeeverymornin’——`Good’sfillin’

theworld，an’someofit’scomin’tome。It’sbein’sent——an’I’mgoin’

tomeetit。It’scomin’——it’scomin’。’"Shebentforwardandtouchedthegirl’sshoulderwithherastonishingeyesalight。"Blessyer，wot’sinmyroom’sinyours;Lor’，yes。"

Glad’seyesstaredintohers，theybecamemysteriously，almostawesomely，astonishingalso。

"Isit？"shebreathedinahushedvoice。

"Yes，Lor’，yes！Whenyergetupinthemornin’youjuststandstillan’ARSTit。`Speak，Lord，’sesyou;

`speak，Lord——’"

"Thyservant’eareth，"endedGlad’shushedspeech。"Blimme，butI’mgoin’totryit！"

Perhapsthebrainofhersawitstillasanincantation，perhapsthesoulofher，calledupstrangelyoutofthedarkandstillnew—bornandblindandvague，sawitvaguelyandhalfblindlyassomethingelse。

Dartwaswonderingwhichofthesethingsweretrue。

"We’veneverbeenexpectin’

nothin’that’sgood，"saidMissMontaubyn。"We’reallusexpectin’

theother。Whoisn’t？Iwasallusexpectin’rheumatizan’’ungeran’

coldan’starvin’oldage。Wotwasyoulookin’for？"toDart。

Helookeddownonthefloorandansweredheavily。

"Failingbrain——failinglife——

despair——death！"

"Noneof’em’scomin’——ifyerdon’tcall’em。Standstillan’listenfortheother。It’stheotherthat’sTRUE。"

Shewaswithoutdoubtamazing。

Shechirpedlikeabirdsingingonabough，rejoicingintokenoftheshiningofthesun。

"It’swotyercanworkon——

this，"saidGlad。"Thecurick——

’e’sagoodsortan’no’’armin’im——but’eses:`Troublean’’ungeristerteachyertersubmit。Accidentsan’coughsastearsyerlungsissentyoutoprepareyerfor’eaven。Ifyerloves’Imassends’em，yer’llgothere。’`’Aveyereverbin？’sesI。

`’Aveyereversawanyonethat’sbin？’Aveyereversawanyonethat’ssawanyonethat’sbin？’

`No，’’eses。`Don’t，megirl，don’t！’

`Garn，’Ises;`tellmesomethin’

as’lldomesomegoodaforeI’mdead！’Eaven’stoofaroff。’"

"Thekingdomof’eavenisat’and，"saidMissMontaubyn。"Blessyer，yes，just’ere。"

AntonyDartglancedroundtheroom。Itwasastrangeplace。ButsomethingWAShere。Magic，wasit？Frenzy——dreams——what？

Heheardfrombelowasuddenmurmurandcryingoutinthestreet。MissMontaubynhearditandstoppedinhersewing，holdingherneedleandthreadextended。

Gladhearditandsprangtoherfeet。

"Somethin’s’appened，"shecriedout。"Someone’s’urt。"

Shewasoutoftheroominabreath’sspace。Shestoodoutsidelisteningafewsecondsanddartedbacktotheopendoor，speakingthroughit。Theycouldhearbelowcommotion，exclamations，thewailofachild。

"Somethin’s’appenedtoBet！"

shecriedoutagain。"Ican’earthechild。"

Shewasgoneandflyingdownthestaircase;AntonyDartandMissMontaubynrosetogether。Thetumultwasincreasing;peoplewererunningaboutinthecourt，anditwasplainacrowdwasformingbythemagicwhichcallsupcrowdsasfromnowhereaboutthedoor。Thechild’sscreamsroseshrillabovethenoise。Itwasnosmallthingwhichhadoccurred。

"Imustgo，"saidMissMontaubyn，limpingawayfromhertable。"P’rapsIcan’elp。P’rapsyoucan’elp，too，"ashefollowedher。

TheyweremetbyGladatthethreshold。Shehadshotbacktothem，panting。

"Shewasblinddrunk，"shesaid，"an’shewentouttogetmore。Shetriedtocrossthestreetan’fellunderacar。She’llbedeadinfiveminits。

I’mgoin’forthebiby。"

DartsawMissMontaubynstepbackintoherroom。Heturnedinvoluntarilytolookather。

Shestoodstillasecond——sostillthatitseemedasifshewasnotdrawingmortalbreath。Herastonishing，expectanteyesclosedthemselves，andyetinclosingspokeexpectancystill。

"Speak，Lord，"shesaidsoftly，butasifshespoketoSomethingwhosenearnesstoherwassuchthatherhandmighthavetouchedit。"Speak，Lord，thyservant’eareth。"

AntonyDartalmostfelthishairrise。Hequakedasshecamenear，herpoorclothesbrushingagainsthim。Hedrewbacktoletherpassfirst，andfollowedherleading。

Thecourtwasfilledwithmen，women，andchildren，whosurgedaboutthedoorway，talking，crying，andprotestingagainsteachother’scrowding。Dartcaughtaglimpseofapolicemanfightinghiswaythroughwithadoctor。Adishevelledwomanwithachildatherdirty，barebreasthadgotinandwastalkingloudly。

"Justoutsidethecourtitwas，"

sheproclaimed，"an’Isawit。Ifshe’dbin’erselfitcouldn’t’ave’appened。`Notimefor’osspitles，’

sesI。She’snottwentybreathstodror;let’erdiein’erownbed，porething！"Andbothsheandherbabybreakingintowailsatoneandthesametime，otherwomen，somehysteric，somemaudlinwithgin，joinedtheminaterrifiedoutburst。

"Getout，youwomen，"commandedthedoctor，whohadforcedhiswayacrossthethreshold。"Sendthemaway，officer，"tothepoliceman。

Therewereotherstoturnoutoftheroomitself，whichwascrowdedwithmorbidorterrifiedcreatures，allmakingforconfusion。Gladhadseizedthechildandwasforcingherwayoutintosuchairastherewasoutside。

Thebed——astrangeandloathlything——stoodbytheempty，rustyfireplace。DrunkenBetlayonit，abundleofclothingoverwhichthedoctorbentforbutafewminutesbeforeheturnedaway。

AntonyDart，standingnearthedoor，heardMissMontaubynspeaktohiminawhisper。

"MayIgoto’er？"andthedoctornodded。

Shelimpedlightlyforwardandhersmallfacewaswhite，butexpectantstill。Whatcouldsheexpectnow——OLord，what？

Anextraordinarythinghappened。

Anabnormalsilencefell。Theownersofsuchfacesasonstretchedneckscaughtsightofherseemedinaflashtocommunicatewithothersinthecrowd。

"JinnyMontaubyn！"someonewhispered。And"JinnyMontaubyn"

waspassedalong，leavinganawedstirringinitswake。Thosewhomthepressureoutsidehadcrushedagainstthewallnearthewindowinapassionatehurry，breathedonandrubbedthepanesthattheymightlaytheirfacestothem。Onetoreouttheragsstuffedinabrokenplaceandlistenedbreathlessly。

JinnyMontaubynwaskneelingdownandlayinghersmalloldhandonthemuddiedforehead。ShehelditthereasecondorsoandspokeinavoicewhoselowclearnessbroughtbackatoncetoDartthevoiceinwhichshehadspokentotheSomethingupstairs。

"Bet，"shesaid，"Bet。"Andthenmoresoftstillandyetmoreclear，"Bet，mydear。"

Itseemedincredible，butitwasafact。Slowlythelidsofthewoman’seyesliftedandthepupilsfixedthemselvesonJinnyMontaubyn，wholeanedstillcloserandspokeagain。

"’Tain’ttrue，"shesaid。"Notthis。’Tain’tTRUE。ThereISNO

DEATH，"slowandsoft，butpassionatelydistinct。"THERE——IS——NO——DEATH。"

Themusclesofthewoman’sfacetwisteditintoaruefulsmile。ThethreewordsshedraggedoutweresofaintthatperhapsnonebutDart’sstrainedearsheardthem。

"Wot——price——ME？"

Thesoulofherwaslooseningfastandstrainingaway，butJinnyMontaubynfollowedit。

"THERE——IS——NO——DEATH，"andherlowvoicehadthetoneofaslendersilvertrumpet。"Inaminityer’llknow——inaminit。Lord，"liftingherexpectantface，"showherthewye。"

Mysteriouslythecloudswereclearingfromthesoddenface——mysteri—

ously。MissMontaubynwatchedthemastheyweresweptaway！A

minute——twominutes——andtheyweregone。Thensherosenoiselesslyandstoodlookingdown，speakingquitesimplyasiftoherself。

"Ah，"shebreathed，"sheDOES

knownow——fersurean’certain。"

ThenAntonyDart，turningslightly，realizedthatamanwhohadenteredthehouseandbeenstandingnearhim，breathingwithlightquickness，sincethemomentMissMontaubynhadknelt，wasplainlythepersonGladhadcalledthe"curick，"andthathehadbowedhisheadandcoveredhiseyeswithahandwhichtrembled。

IV

Hewasayoungmanwithaneagersoul，andhisworkinAppleBlossomCourtandplaceslikeithadtornhimmanyways。Religiousconventionsestablishedthroughcenturiesofcustomhadnotpreparedhimforlifeamongthesubmerged。

Hehadstruggledandbeenappalled，hehadwrestledinprayerandfelthimselfunanswered，andinrepentanceofthefeelinghadscourgedhimselfwiththorns。MissMontaubyn，returningfromthehospital，hadfilledhimatfirstwithhorrorandprotest。

"Butwhoknows——whoknows？"

hesaidtoDart，astheystoodandtalkedtogetherafterward，"Faithasalittlechild。Thatisliterallyhers。

AndIwasshockedbyit——andtriedtodestroyit，untilIsuddenlysawwhatIwasdoing。Iwas——inmycloddishegotism——tryingtoshowherthatshewasirreverentBECAUSE

shecouldbelievewhatinmysoulI

donot，thoughIdarenotadmitsomucheventomyself。Shetookfromsomestrangepassingvisitortohertorturedbedsidewhatwastoherarevelation。Shehearditfirstasachildhearsastoryofmagic。Whenshecameoutofthehospital，shetolditasifitwasone。I——I——"hebithislipsandmoistenedthem，"arguedwithherandreproachedher。ChristtheMerciful，forgiveme！Shesatinhersqualidlittleroomwithhermagic——sometimesinthedark——sometimeswithoutfire，andsheclungtoit，andloveditandaskedittohelpher，asachildasksitsfatherforbread。Whenshewasanswered——andGodforgivemeagainfordoubtingthatthesimplegoodthatcametoherWASananswer——whenanysmallhelpcametoher，shewasaradiantthing，andwithoutashadowofdoubtinhereyestoldmeofitasproof——proofthatshehadbeenheard。Whenthingswentwrongforadayandthefirewasoutagainandtheroomdark，shesaid，`I

’aven’tkeptnearenough——I’aven’ttrustedTRUE。Itwillbegavemesoon，’andwhenonceatsuchatimeIsaidtoher，`Wemustlearntosay，Thywillbedone，’shesmiledupatmelikeahappybabyandanswered:

`ThywillbedoneonearthASITISIN

’EAVEN。Lor’，there’snocoldthere，norno’ungernornocryin’norpain。