第4章

Icamehereonewinter’sdaywhenthemiddaysunshonehotonthebricksoftheRomanroad。Iwasweary，andthewayseemedsteep。Iwalkedintothechapeltothebrokenwindow，andlookedoutacrossthebay。Faroff，acrosstheblue，bluewater，weretownsandvillages，hangingwhiteandreddots，uponthemountain—sides，andthebluemountainsroseupintothesky，andnowstoodoutfromitandnowmeltedbackagain。

Themountainsseemedcallingtome，butIknewtherewouldneverbeabridgebuiltfromthemtome;never，never，never！Ishadedmyeyeswithmyhandandturnedaway。Icouldnotbeartolookatthem。

IwalkedthroughtheruinedChapel，andlookedattheChristinredcarryinghiscross，andtheBlessedrubbed—outBambino，andtheRomansoldiers，andthefoldedhands，andthereed;andIwentandsatdownintheopenporchuponastone。Atmyfeetwasthesmallbay，withitswhiterowofhousesburiedamongtheolivetrees;thewaterbrokeinalong，thin，whitelineoffoamalongtheshore;andIleanedmyelbowsonmyknees。Iwastired，verytired;tiredwithatirednessthatseemedolderthantheheatofthedayandtheshiningofthesunonthebricksoftheRomanroad;andIlaymyheaduponmyknees;Iheardthebreakingofthewaterontherocksthreehundredfeetbelow，andtherustlingofthewindamongtheolivetreesandtheruinedarches，andthenIfellasleepthere。

Ihadadream。

AmancrieduptoGod，andGodsentdownanangeltohelphim;andtheangelcamebackandsaid，"Icannothelpthatman。"

Godsaid，"Howisitwithhim？"

Andtheangelsaid，"Hecriesoutcontinuallythatonehasinjuredhim;andhewouldforgivehimandhecannot。"

Godsaid，"Whathaveyoudoneforhim？"

Theangelsaid，"All——。Itookhimbythehand，andIsaid，’See，whenothermenspeakillofthatmandoyouspeakwellofhim;secretly，inwaysheshallnotknow，servehim;ifyouhaveanythingyouvalueshareitwithhim，so，servinghim，youwillatlastcometofeelpossessioninhim，andyouwillforgive。’Andhesaid，’Iwilldoit。’Afterwards，asIpassedbyinthedarkofnight，Iheardonecryingout，’Ihavedoneall。Ithelpsnothing！Myspeakingwellofhimhelpsmenothing！IfIsharemyheart’sbloodwithhim，istheburningwithinmeless？Icannotforgive;I

cannotforgive！Oh，God，Icannotforgive！’

"Isaidtohim，’Seehere，lookbackonallyourpast。Seefromyourchildhoodallsmallness，allindirectnessthathasbeenyours;lookwellatit，andinitslightdoyounotseeeverymanyourbrother？Areyousosinlessyouhaverighttohate？’

"Helooked，andsaid，’Yes，youareright;Itoohavefailed，andIforgivemyfellow。Go，Iamsatisfied;Ihaveforgiven;’andhelaidhimdownpeacefullyandfoldedhishandsonhisbreast，andIthoughtitwaswellwithhim。ButscarcelyhadmywingsrustledandIturnedtocomeuphere，whenIheardonecryingoutonearthagain，’Icannotforgive！Icannotforgive！Oh，God，God，Icannotforgive！Itisbettertodiethantohate！Icannotforgive！Icannotforgive！’AndIwentandstoodoutsidehisdoorinthedark，andIheardhimcry，’Ihavenotsinnedso，notso！

IfIhavetornmyfellows’flesheversolittle，Ihavekneeleddownandkissedthewoundwithmymouthtillitwashealed。Ihavenotwilledthatanysoulshallbelostthroughhateofme。IftheyhavebutfanciedthatI

wrongedthemIhavelaindownonthegroundbeforethemthattheymighttreadonme，andso，seeingmyhumiliation，forgiveandnotbelostthroughhatingme;theyhavenotcaredthatmysoulshouldbelost;theyhavenotwilledtosaveme;theyhavenottriedthatIshouldforgivethem！’

"Isaidtohim，’Seehere，bethoucontent;donotforgive:forgetthissoulanditsinjury;goonyourway。Inthenextworldperhaps——’

"Hecried，’Gofromme，youunderstandnothing！Whatisthenextworldtome！Iamlostnow，today。Icannotseethesunlightshine，thedustisinmythroat，thesandisinmyeyes！Gofromme，youknownothing！Oh，onceagainbeforeIdietoseethattheworldisbeautiful！Oh，God，God，I

cannotliveandnotlove。Icannotliveandhate。Oh，God，God，God！’SoIlefthimcryingoutandcamebackhere。"

Godsaid，"Thisman’ssoulmustbesaved。"

Andtheangelsaid"How？"

Godsaid，"Godownyou，andsaveit。"

Theangelsaid，"WhatmoreshallIdo？"

ThenGodbentdownandwhisperedintheangel’sear，andtheangelspreadoutitswingsandwentdowntoearth。

AndpartlyIwoke，sittingthereuponthebrokenstonewithmyheadonmyknee;butIwastoowearytorise。Iheardthewindroamthroughtheolivetreesandamongtheruinedarches，andthenIsleptagain。

Theangelwentdownandfoundthemanwiththebitterheartandtookhimbythehand，andledhimtoacertainspot。

Nowthemanwistnotwhereitwastheangelwouldtakehimnorwhathewouldshowhimthere。Andwhentheycametheangelshadedtheman’seyeswithhiswing，andwhenhemoveditthemansawsomewhatontheearthbeforethem。ForGodhadgivenittothatangeltounclotheahumansoul;

totakefromitallthoseoutwardattributesofform，andcolour，andage，andsex，wherebyonemanisknownfromamonghisfellowsandismarkedofffromtherest，andthesoullaybeforethem，bare，asamanturninghiseyeinwardsbeholdshimself。

Theysawitspast，itschildhood，thetinylifewiththedewuponit;theysawitsyouthwhenthedewwasmelting，andthecreatureraiseditsLilliputianmouthtodrinkfromacuptoolargeforit，andtheysawhowthewaterspilt;theysawitshopesthatwereneverrealized;theysawitshoursofintellectualblindness，mencallsin;theysawitshoursofall—

radiatinginsight，whichmencallrighteousness;theysawitshourofstrength，whenitleapedtoitsfeetcrying，"Iamomnipotent;"itshourofweakness，whenitfelltotheearthandgraspeddustonly;theysawwhatitmighthavebeen，butneverwouldbe。

Themanbentforward。

Andtheangelsaid，"Whatisit？"

Heanswered，"ItisI！itismyself！"Andhewentforwardasifhewouldhavelainhisheartagainstit;buttheangelheldhimbackandcoveredhiseyes。

NowGodhadgivenpowertotheangelfurthertounclothethatsoul，totakefromitallthoseoutwardattributesoftimeandplaceandcircumstancewherebytheindividuallifeismarkedofffromthelifeofthewhole。

Againtheangeluncoveredtheman’seyes，andhelooked。Hesawbeforehimthatwhichinitstinydropreflectsthewholeuniverse;hesawthatwhichmarkswithinitselfthestepofthefurtheststar，andtellshowthecrystalgrowsundergroundwherenoeyehasseenit;thatwhichiswherethegermintheeggstirs;whichmovestheoutstretchedfingersofthelittlenewbornbabe，andkeepstheleavesofthetreespointingupward;

whichmoveswherethejelly—fishsailaloneonthesunnyseas，andiswherethelichensformonthemountains’rocks。

Andthemanlooked。

Andtheangeltouchedhim。

Butthemanbowedhisheadandshuddered。Hewhispered——"ItisGod！"

Andtheangelre—coveredtheman’seyes。Andwhenheuncoveredthemtherewasonewalkingfromthemalittlewayoff;——fortheangelhadre—clothedthesoulinitsoutwardformandvesture——andthemanknewwhoitwas。

Andtheangelsaid，"Doyouknowhim？"

Andthemansaid，"Iknowhim，"andhelookedafterthefigure。

Andtheangelsaid，"Haveyouforgivenhim？"

Butthemansaid，"Howbeautifulmybrotheris！"

Andtheangellookedintotheman’seyes，andheshadedhisownfacewithhiswingfromthelight。HelaughedsoftlyandwentuptoGod。

Butthemenweretogetheronearth。

Iawoke。

Theblue，blueskywasovermyhead，andthewaveswerebreakingbelowontheshore。Iwalkedthroughthelittlechapel，andIsawtheMadonnainblueandred，andtheChristcarryinghiscross，andtheRomansoldierswiththerod，andtheBlessedBambinowithitsbrokenface;andthenI

walkeddowntheslopingrocktothebrickpathway。Theolivetreesstooduponeithersideoftheroad，theirblackberriesandpale—greenleavesstoodoutagainstthesky;andthelittleice—plantshungfromthecrevicesinthestonewall。ItseemedtomeasifitmusthaverainedwhileIwasasleep。IthoughtIhadneverseentheheavensandtheearthlooksobeautifulbefore。Iwalkeddowntheroad。Theold，old，oldtirednesswasgone。

Presentlytherecameapeasantboydownthepathleadinghisass;shehadtwolargepanniersfastenedtohersides;andtheywentdowntheroadbeforeme。

Ihadneverseenhimbefore;butIshouldhavelikedtowalkbyhimandtohaveheldhishand——only，hewouldnothaveknownwhy。

Alassio，Italy。

VIII。LIFE’SGIFTS。

Isawawomansleeping。InhersleepshedreamtLifestoodbeforeher，andheldineachhandagift——intheoneLove，intheotherFreedom。Andshesaidtothewoman，"Choose！"

Andthewomanwaitedlong:andshesaid，"Freedom！"

AndLifesaid，"Thouhastwellchosen。Ifthouhadstsaid，’Love，’Iwouldhavegiventheethatthoudidstaskfor;andIwouldhavegonefromthee，andreturnedtotheenomore。Now，thedaywillcomewhenIshallreturn。

InthatdayIshallbearbothgiftsinonehand。"

Iheardthewomanlaughinhersleep。

London。

IX。THEARTIST’SSECRET。

Therewasanartistonce，andhepaintedapicture。Otherartistshadcoloursricherandrarer，andpaintedmorenotablepictures。Hepaintedhiswithonecolour，therewasawonderfulredglowonit;andthepeoplewentupanddown，saying，"Welikethepicture，weliketheglow。"

Theotherartistscameandsaid，"Wheredoeshegethiscolourfrom？"Theyaskedhim;andhesmiledandsaid，"Icannottellyou";andworkedonwithhisheadbentlow。

AndonewenttothefarEastandboughtcostlypigments，andmadeararecolourandpainted，butafteratimethepicturefaded。Anotherreadintheoldbooks，andmadeacolourrichandrare，butwhenhehadputitonthepictureitwasdead。

Buttheartistpaintedon。Alwaystheworkgotredderandredder，andtheartistgrewwhiterandwhiter。Atlastonedaytheyfoundhimdeadbeforehispicture，andtheytookhimuptoburyhim。Theothermenlookedaboutinallthepotsandcrucibles，buttheyfoundnothingtheyhadnot。

Andwhentheyundressedhimtoputhisgrave—clothesonhim，theyfoundabovehisleftbreastthemarkofawound——itwasanold，oldwound，thatmusthavebeenthereallhislife，fortheedgeswereoldandhardened;butDeath，whosealsallthings，haddrawntheedgestogether，andcloseditup。

Andtheyburiedhim。Andstillthepeoplewentaboutsaying，"Wheredidhefindhiscolourfrom？"

Anditcametopassthatafterawhiletheartistwasforgotten——buttheworklived。

St。Leonards—on—Sea。

X。"ITHOUGHTISTOOD。"

IthoughtIstoodinHeavenbeforeGod’sthrone，andGodaskedmewhatI

hadcomefor。IsaidIhadcometoarraignmybrother，Man。

Godsaid，"Whathashedone？"

Isaid，"Hehastakenmysister，Woman，andhasstrickenher，andwoundedher，andthrustheroutintothestreets;sheliesthereprostrate。Hishandsareredwithblood。Iamheretoarraignhim;thatthekingdombetakenfromhim，becauseheisnotworthy，andgivenuntome。Myhandsarepure。"

Ishowedthem。

Godsaid，"Thyhandsarepure。——Liftupthyrobe。"

Iraisedit;myfeetwerered，blood—red，asifIhadtroddeninwine。

Godsaid，"Howisthis？"

Isaid，"DearLord，thestreetsoneartharefullofmire。IfIshouldwalkstraightoninthemmyouterrobemightbebespotted，youseehowwhiteitis！ThereforeIpickmyway。"

Godsaid，"Onwhat？"

Iwassilent，andIletmyrobefall。Iwrappedmymantleaboutmyhead。

Iwentoutsoftly。Iwasafraidthattheangelswouldseeme。

II。

OncemoreIstoodatthegateofHeaven，Iandanother。Weheldfastbyoneanother;wewereverytired。Welookedupatthegreatgates;theangelsopenedthem，andwewentin。Themudwasonourgarments。Wewalkedacrossthemarblefloor，anduptothegreatthrone。Thentheangelsdividedus。Her，theysetuponthetopstep，butme，uponthebottom;for，theysaid，"Lasttimethiswomancameheresheleftredfoot—

marksonthefloor;wehadtowashthemoutwithourtears。Lethernotgoup。"

Thenshe，withwhomIcame，lookedback，andstretchedoutherhandtome;

andIwentandstoodbesideher。Andtheangels，they，theshiningoneswhoneversinnedandneversuffered，walkedbyustoandfroandupanddown;Ithinkweshouldhavefeltalittlelonelythereifithadnotbeenforoneanother，theangelsweresobright。

GodaskedmewhatIhadcomefor;andIdrewmysisterforwardalittlethathemightseeher。

Godsaid，"Howisityouareheretogethertoday？"

Isaid，"Shewasuponthegroundinthestreet，andtheypassedoverher;I

laydownbyher，andsheputherarmsaroundmyneck，andsoIliftedher，andwetworosetogether。"

Godsaid，"Whomareyounowcometoaccusebeforeme？"

Isaid，"Wearecometoaccusenoman。"

AndGodbent，andsaid，"Mychildren——whatisitthatyeseek？"

AndshebesidemedrewmyhandthatIshouldspeakforboth。

Isaid，"WehavecometoaskthatthoushouldstspeaktoMan，ourbrother，andgiveusamessageforhimthathemightunderstand，andthathemight——"

Godsaid，"Go，takethemessagedowntohim！"

Isaid，"Butwhatisthemessage？"

Godsaid，"Uponyourheartsitiswritten;takeitdowntohim。"

Andweturnedtogo;theangelswentwithustothedoor。Theylookedatus。

Andonesaid——"Ai！buttheirdressesarebeautiful！"

Andtheothersaid，"Ithoughtitwasmirewhentheycamein，butsee，itisallgolden！"

Butanothersaid，"Hush，itisthelightfromtheirfaces！"

Andwewentdowntohim。

Alassio，Italy。

XI。THESUNLIGHTLAYACROSSMYBED。

InthedarkonenightIlayuponmybed。Iheardthepoliceman’sfeetbeatonthepavement;Iheardthewheelsofcarriagesrollhomefromhousesofentertainment;Iheardawoman’slaughbelowmywindow——andthenIfellasleep。AndinthedarkIdreamtadream。IdreamtGodtookmysoultoHell。

Hellwasafairplace;thewaterofthelakewasblue。

IsaidtoGod，"Ilikethisplace。"

Godsaid，"Ay，dostthou！"

Birdssang，turfcametothewater—edge，andtreesgrewfromit。AwayoffamongthetreesIsawbeautifulwomenwalking。Theirclotheswereofmanydelicatecoloursandclungtothem，andtheyweretallandgracefulandhadyellowhair。Theirrobestrailedoverthegrass。Theyglidedinandoutamongthetrees，andovertheirheadshungyellowfruitlikelargepearsofmeltedgold。

Isaid，"Itisveryfair;Iwouldgoupandtastethe——"

Godsaid，"Wait。"

AndafterawhileInoticedaveryfairwomanpass:shelookedthiswayandthat，anddrewdownabranch，anditseemedshekissedthefruituponitsoftly，andwentonherway，andherdressmadenorustleasshepassedoverthegrass。AndwhenIsawhernomore，fromamongthestemscameanotherwomanfairasshehadbeen，inadelicatetintedrobe;shelookedthiswayandthat。Whenshesawnoonethereshedrewdownthefruit，andwhenshehadlookedoverittofindaplace，sheputhermouthtoitsoftly，andwentaway。AndIsawotherandotherwomencome，makingnonoise，andtheyglidedawayalsooverthegrass。

AndIsaidtoGod，"Whataretheydoing？"

Godsaid，"Theyarepoisoning。"