第19章

"Well,onedayIan"oleDocGurney,wewereinthere,andIundertooktoshowBibbshowtorunhismachine。Hetoldmetolookout,butIwouldn"tlisten,andIdidn"tlookout——andthat"showIgotmyhandhurt,tryin"toshowBibbshowtodosomethingheknewhowtodoandIdidn"t。MademesomadIjustwouldn"tevenadmittomyselfitWAShurt——andso,byandby,oleDocGurneyhadtotakekindo"radicalmeasureswithme。He"sarightgooddoctor,too。

Don"tyouthinkso,MissVertrees？"

"Yes。"

"Yes,heisso！"Sheridannowhadtheairofaramblingtalkerandgossipwithalldayonhishands。"TakehimonBibbs"scase。Iwastalkin"aboutBibbs"scasewithhimthismorning。Well,you"dlaughtohearthewayoleGurneytalksaboutTHAT！"CourseheISjustasmuchafriendasheisdoctor——andhetakesasmuchinterestinBibbsasifhewasinthefamily。HesaysBibbsisn"tanywaysbadoffYET;andhethinkshecouldstandthepaceandgetfatonitif——well,thisiswhat"dmadeYOUlaughifyou"dbeenthere,MissVertrees——honestitwould！"Hepausedtochuckle,andstoleaglanceather。Shewasgazingstraightbeforeheratthewall;herlipswereparted,and——visibly——shewasbreathingheavilyandquickly。Hefearedthatshewasgrowingfuriouslyangry;buthehadledtowhathewantedtosay,andhewenton,determinednowtosayitall。Heleanedforwardandalteredhisvoicetooneofconfidentialfriendliness,thoughinithestillmaintainedatonewhichindicatedthatoleDocGurney"sopinionwasonlyajokehesharedwithher。"Yes,sir,youcertainlywould"a"laughed！Why,thatolemanthinksYOUgotsomethingtodowithit。You"llhavetoblameitonhim,younglady,ifitmakesyoufeellikestartin"outtowhipsomebody！He"sactuallygotTHIStheory:hesaysBibbsgottogettin"betterwhileheworkedoverthereattheshopbecauseyoukepthimcheeredupandfeelin"good。Andhesaysifyoucouldmanagetojuststandhimhangin"aroundalittle——maybenotmuch,butjustSOMEtimes——again,hebelievedit"ddoBibbsamightyloto"good。

"Course,that"sonlywhatthedoctorsaid。Me,Idon"tknowanythingaboutthat;butIcansaythismuch——IneversawanysuchaMENTALimprovementinanybodyinmylifeasIhavelatelyinBibbs。Iexpectyou"dfindhimagooddealmoreentertainingthanwhatheusedtobe——andIknowit"sakindofembarrassingthingtosuggestafterthewayhepiledinoverherethatdaytoaskyoutostandupbeforethepreacherwithhim,butaccordin"tooleDocGURNEY,he"sgotyouonhisbrainsobad——"

Maryjumped。"Mr。Sheridan！"sheexclaimed。

Hesighedprofoundly。"There！Inoticedyouweregettin"mad。Ididn"t——"

"No,no,no！"shecried。"ButIdon"tunderstand——andIthinkyoudon"t。

Whatisityouwantmetodo？"

Hesighedagain,butthistimewithrelief。"Well,well！"hesaid。"You"reright。It"llbeeasiertotalkplain。IoughttoknownIcouldwithyou,allthetime。Ijusthopedyou"dletthatboycomeandseeyousometimes,oncemore。Couldyou？"

"Youdon"tunderstand。"Sheclaspedherhandstogetherinasorrowfulgesture。"Yes,wemusttalkplain。BibbsheardthatI"dtriedtomakeyouroldestsoncareformebecauseIwaspoor,andsoBibbscameandaskedmetomarryhim——becausehewassorryforme。AndICAN"Tseehimanymore,"shecriedindistress。"ICAN"T！"

Sheridanclearedhisthroatuncomfortably。"Youmeanbecausehethoughtthataboutyou？"

"No,no！WhathethoughtwasTRUE！"

"Well——youmeanhewassomuchin——youmeanhethoughtsomuchofyou——"ThewordswereinconceivablyawkwarduponSheridan"stongue;heseemedtobeindoubtevenaboutpronouncingthem,butafteraghastlypausehebravelyrepeatedthem。"Youmeanhethoughtsomuchofyouthatyoujustcouldn"tstandhimaround？"

"NO！Hewassorryforme。Hecaredforme;hewasfondofme;andhe"drespectedme——toomuch！Inthefinestwayhelovedme,ifyoulike,andhe"dhavedoneanythingonearthforme,asIwouldforhim,andasheknewI

would。Itwasbeautiful,Mr。Sheridan,"shesaid。"Butthecheap,badthingsonehasdoneseemalwaystocomeback——theywait,andpullyoudownwhenyou"rehappiest。Bibbsfoundmeout,yousee;andhewasn"t"inlove"withmeatall。"

"Hewasn"t？Well,itseemstomehegaveupeverythinghewantedtodo——itwasfoolstuff,buthecertainlywanteditmightybad——hejustthrewitawayandwalkedrightupandtookthejobhesworeheneverwould——justforyou。

Anditlookstomeasifamanthat"ddothatmustthinkquiteaheapo"thegirlhedoesitfor！Yousayitwasonlybecausehewassorry,butletmetellyouthere"sonlyONEgirlhecouldfeelTHATsorryfor！Yes,sir！"

"No,no,"shesaid。"Bibbsisn"tlikeothermen——hewoulddoanythingforanybody。"

Sheridangrinned。"Perhapsnotsomuchasyouthink,nowadays,"hesaid。"Forinstance,Igotkindofasuspicionhedoesn"tbelievein"sentimentinbusiness。"Butthat"sneitherherenorthere。Whathewantedwas,justplainandsimple,foryoutomarryhim。Well,Iwasafraidhisthinkin"somuchOF

youhadkindo"sickenedyouofhim——thewayitdoessometimes。Butfromthewayyoutalk,Iunderstandthatain"tthetrouble。"Hecoughed,andhisvoicetrembledalittle。"Nowhere,MissVertrees,Idon"thavetotellyou——becauseyouseethingseasy——IknowIgotnobusinesscomin"toyoulikethis,butIhadtomakeBibbsgomywayinsteadofhisown——Ihadtodoitforthesakeo"mybusinessandonhisownaccount,too——andIexpectyougotsomeideahowithurthimtogiveup。Well,he"smadegood。Hedidn"tcomeinhalf—heartedormean;hecamein——alltheway！Butthereisn"tanythinginittohim;youcanseehe"sjustshuthisteethonitandgoin"aheadwithdustinhismouth。Yousee,onewayoflookin"atit,he"sgotnothin"toworkFOR。Anditseemstomelikeitcosthimyourfriendship,andIbelieve——honest——that"swhathurthimtheworst。Nowyousaidwe"dtalkplain。Whycan"tyoulethimcomeback？"

Shecoveredherfacedesperatelywithherhands。"Ican"t！"

Herose,defeated,andlookingit。

"Well,Imustn"tpressyou,"hesaid,gently。

Atthatshecriedout,anddroppedherhandsandlethimseeherface。"Ah！

Hewasonlysorryforme！"

Hegazedatherintently。Marywasproud,butshehadafatalhonesty,anditconfessedthetruthofhernow;shewashelpless。ItwassoclearthatevenSheridan,marvelingandamazed,wasabletoseeit。Thenachangecameoverhim;gloomfellfromhim,andhegrewradient。

"Don"t！Don"t"shecried。"Youmustn"t——"

"Iwon"ttellhim,"saidSheridan,fromthedoorway。"Iwon"ttellanybodyanything！"

Therewasaheavytown—fogthatafternoon,asmoke—mist,densestinthesanctuaryofthetemple。Thepeoplewentaboutinit,busyanddirty,thickeningtheiroutsideandinsideliningsofcoal—tar,asphalt,sulphurousacid,oilofvitriol,andtheotherfamiliarthingsthemenlikedtobreatheandtohaveupontheirskinsandgarmentsandupontheirwivesandbabiesandsweethearts。Thegrowthofthecitywasvisibleinthesmokeandthenoiseandtherush。TherewasmoresmokethantherehadbeenthisdayofFebruaryayearearlier;therewasmorenoise;andthecrowdswerethicker——yetquickerinspiteofthat。Thetrafficpolicemanhadahardtime,forthepeoplewereindependent——theyretainedsomehabitsoftheoldmarket—townperiod,andwouldcrossthestreetanywhereandanyhow,whichnotonlygotthemkilledmorefrequentlythaniftheyclungtothelegalcrossings,butkeptthemotormen,thechauffeurs,andthetruck—driversinastewofprofanenervousness。Sothetrafficpolicemenledharriedlives;theythemselveswerekilled,ofcourse,withacertainperiodicity,buttheirmaintroublewasthattheycouldnotmakethecitizensrealizethatitwasactuallyandmortallyperiloustogoabouttheircity。Itwasstrange,fortherewereprobablynocitizensofanylengthofresidencewhohadnotpersonallyknowneithersomeonewhohadbeenkilledorinjuredinanaccident,orsomeonewhohadaccidentallykilledorinjuredothers。Andyet,perhapsitwasnotstrange,seeingthesharppreoccupationofthefaces——thepeoplehadsomethingontheirminds;theycouldnotstoptobotheraboutdirtanddanger。

MaryVertreeswasnotoftendown—town;shehadneverseenanaccidentuntilthisafternoon。Shehadcomeuponerrandsforhermotherconnectedwithatimorousrefurbishment;andasshedidthese,inandoutofthedepartmentstores,shehadaninsistentconsciousnessoftheSheridanBuilding。Fromthestreet,anywhere,itwasalmostalwaysinsight,likesomemonstrousgeometricalshadow,murk—coloredandrisinglimitlesslyintotheswimmingheightsofthesmoke—mist。Itwasgauntandgrimyandrepellent;ithadnothingbutstrengthandsize——butinthatconsciousnessofMary"sthegreatstructuremayhavepartakenofbeauty。Sheridanhadmadesomeofthethingshesaidemphaticenoughttoremainwithher。Shewentoverandoverthem——andtheybegantoseemtrue:"OnlyONEgirlhecouldfeelTHATsorryfor！"

"Gurneysayshe"sgotyouonhisbrainsobad——"Theman"sclumsytalkbegantosinginherheart。Thesongwasbeguntherewhenshesawtheaccident。

ShewasdirectlyoppositetheSheridanBuildingthen,waitingforthetraffictothinbeforeshecrossed,thoughotherpeoplewereriskingthepassage,dartingandhaltinganddodgingparlously。Twomencamefromthecrowdbehindher,talkingearnestly,andstartedacross。Bothworeblack;onewastallandbroadandthick,andtheotherwastaller,butnoticeablyslender。AndMarycaughtherbreath,fortheywereBibbsandhisfather。Theydidnotseeher,andshecaughtaphraseinBibbs"smellowvoice,whichhadtakenacrisperring:"Sixty—eightthousanddollars？Notsixty—eightthousandbuttons！"Itstartledherqueerly,andastherewasaglimpseofhisprofileshesawforthefirsttimearesemblancetohisfather。

Shewatchedthem。InthemiddleofthestreetBibbshadtostepaheadofhisfather,andthetwowereseparated。Buttherecklesspassingofatruck,beyondthesecondlineofrails,frightenedagroupofcountrywomenwhowereincourseofpassage;theywerejustinfrontofBibbs,andshovedbackwarduponhimviolently。Toextricatehimselffromthemhesteppedback,directlyinfrontofamovingtrolley—car——noplaceforabsent—mindedness,butBibbswasstillabsorbedinthoughtsconcernedwithwhathehadbeensayingtohisfather。Therewereshrieksandyells;Bibbslookedthewrongway——andthenMarysawtheheavyfigureofSheridanplungestraightforwardinfrontofthecar。Withabsolutedisregardofhisownlife,hehurledhimselfatBibbslikeafootball—playershuntingoffanopponent,andtoMaryitseemedthattheybothwentdowntogether。Butthatwasallshecouldsee——automobiles,trucks,andwagonsclosedinbetween。Shemadeoutthatthetrolley—carstoppedjerkily,andshesawapolicemanbreakinghiswaythroughtheinstantlycondensingcrowd,whilethetrafficcametoastandstill,andpeoplestoodupinautomobilesorclimbeduponthehubsandtiresofwheels,nottomissachanceofseeinganythinghorrible。

Marytriedtogetthrough;itwasimpossible。Otherpolicemencametohelpthefirst,andinaminuteortwothetrafficwasinmotionagain。Thecrowdbecamepliant,dispersing——therewasnofigureupontheground,andnoambulancecame。Butoneofthepolicemenwasdetainedbytheclingingandbeseechingofaglovedhand。

"WhatISthematter,lady？"

"Wherearethey？"Marycried。

"Who？OlemanSheridan？IreckonHEwasn"tmuchhurt！"

"HisSON——"

"Wasthatwhotheotheronewas？Iseenhimknockhim——oh,he"snotbadoff,Iguess,lady。Theolemangothimoutofthewayallright。Thefendershovedtheolemanaroundsome,butIreckonheonlygotshookup。TheybothwentonintheSheridanBuildingwithoutanyhelp。Excuseme,lady。"

SheridanandBibbs,infact,wereatthatmomentintheelevator,ascending。

"Whisk—broomupintheoffice,"Sheridanwassaying。"Yougottolookoutonthosecornersnowadays,Itellyou。Idon"tknowIgotanycalltoblow,though——becauseItriedtocrossafteryoudid。That"showIhappenedtorunintoyou。Well,youwantremembertolookoutafterthis。Weweretalkin"

aboutMurtrie"saskin"sixty—eightthousandflatforthatninety—nine—yearlease。It"shislookoutifhe"drathertakeitthatway,andIdon"tknowbut——"

"No,"saidBibbs,emphatically,astheelevatorstopped;"hewon"tgetit。NotfromUs,hewon"t,andI"llshowyouwhy。Icanconvinceyouinfiveminutes。"Hefollowedhisfatherintotheofficeanteroom——andconvincedhim。

Then,havingbeendiligentlybrushedbyayouthofcolor,Bibbswentintohisownroomandclosedthedoor。

Hewasmoreshakenthanhehadallowedhisfathertoperceive,andhissidewassorewhereSheridanhadstruckhim。Hedesiredtobealone;hewantedtorubhimselfand,foronce,todosomeuselessthinkingagain。Heknewthathisfatherhadnot"happened"torunintohim;heknewthatSheridanhadinstantly——andinstinctively——provedthatheheldhisownlifeofnoaccountwhatevercomparedtothatofhissonandheir。Bibbshadbeenunabletospeakofthat,ortoseemtoknowit;forSheridan,justasinstinctively,hadsweptthematteraside——asofnoimportance,sinceallwaswell——revertingimmediatelytobusiness。

Bibbsbegantothinkintentlyofhisfather。Heperceived,ashehadneverperceivedbefore,theshadowingofsomethingenormousandindomitable——andlawless;nottobedauntedbythewillofnature"sveryself;laughingatthelightningandatwoundsandmutilation;conquering,irresistible——andblindlynoble。ForthefirsttimeinhislifeBibbsbegantounderstandthemeaningofbeingtrulythisman"sson。

Hewouldbethemoretrulyhissonhenceforth,though,asSheridansaid,Bibbshadnotcomedown—townwithhimmeanlyorhalf—heartedly。Hehadgivenhiswordbecausehehadwantedthemoney,simply,forMaryVertreesinherneed。

Andheshiveredwithhorrorofhimself,thinkinghowhehadgonetohertoofferit,askinghertomarryhim——withhisheadonhisbreastinshamefulfearthatshewouldaccepthim！Hehadnotknownher;theknowinghadlosthertohim,andthishadbeenhisrealawakening;forheknewnowhowdeephadbeenthatslumberwhereinhedreamilycelebratedthesuperiorityof"friendship"！Thesleep—walkerhadwakenedtobitterknowledgeofloveandlife,findinghimselfafailureinboth。Hehadmadeaburntofferingofhisdreams,andthesacrificehadbeenanunforgivablehurttoMary。Allthatwasleftforhimwastheworkhehadnotchosen,butatleasthewouldnotfailinthat,thoughitwasindeednomorethan"dustinhismouth。"Iftherehadbeenanything"toworkfor——"

Hewenttothewindow,raisedit,andletintheuproarofthestreetsbelow。

Helookeddownattheblurred,hurryingswarms——andhelookedacross,overtheroofswiththeirpantingjetsofvapor,intothevast,foggyheartofthesmoke。Dizzytraceriesofsteelwererisingdimlyagainstit,chatteringwithsteelonsteel,andscreechinginsteam,whiletinyfiguresofmenwalkedonthreadsinthedullsky。BuildingswouldovertoptheSheridan。Bignesswasbeingserved。

Butwhatfor？TheoldquestioncametoBibbswithanewdespair。Here,wherehiseyesfell,hadoncebeengreenfieldsandrunningbrooks,andhowhadthekindearthbeendespoiledanddisfigured！Thepioneershadbegunthework,butintheiroldagetheiroratorshadsaidforthemthattheyhadtoiledandriskedandsacrificedthattheirposteritymightliveinpeaceandwisdom,enjoyingthefruitsoftheearth。Well,theirposteritywashere——andtherewasonlyturmoil。Wherewasthepromisedland？Ithadbeenpromisedbythesoldiersofallthewars;ithadbeenpromisedtothisgenerationbythepioneers;butherewastheveryposteritytowhomithadbeenpromised,toilingandriskingandsacrificinginturn——forwhat？

Theharshroarofthecitycameinthroughtheopenwindow,continuouslybeatinguponBibbs"searuntilhebegantodistinguishapulsationinit——abrokenandirregularcadence。Itseemedtohimthatitwaslikeatitanicvoice,discordant,hoarse,rustilymetallic——thevoiceofthegod,Bigness。

AndthevoicesummonedBibbsasitsummonedallitsservants。

"Comeandwork！"itseemedtoyell。"ComeandworkforMe,allmen！ByyouryouthandyourhopeIsummonyou！ByyourageandyourdespairIsommonyoutoworkforMeyetalittle,withwhatstrengthyouhave。ByyourloveofhomeIsummonyou！ByyourloveofwomanIsummonyou！ByyourhopeofchildrenIsummonyou！

"YoushallbeblindslavesofMine,blindtoeverythingbutMe,youMasterandDriver！Foryourrewardyoushallgazeonlyuponmyugliness。Youshallgiveyourtoilandyourlives,youshallgomadforloveandworshipofmyugliness！YoushallperishstillworshippingMe,andyourchildrenshallperishknowingnoothergod！"

Andthen,asBibbsclosedthewindowdowntight,heheardhisfather"svoiceboominginthenextroom;hecouldnotdistinguishthewords,butthetonewasexultant——andtherecametheTHUMP！THUMP！ofthemaimedhand。BibbsguessedthatSheridanwasbraggingofthecityandofBignesstosomevisitorfromout—of—town。

AndhethoughthowtrulySheridanwasthehighpriestofBigness。Butwiththeold,oldthoughtagain,,"Whatfor？"Bibbscaughtaglimmeroffar,faintlight。HesawthatSheridanhadallhislifestruggledandconquered,andmustallhislifegoonstrugglingandinevitablyconquering,aspartofavastimpulsenothisown。Sheridanservedblindly——butwastheimpulseblind？

Bibbsaskedhimselfifitwasnothewhohadbeeninthegreaterhurry,afterall。Thekilnmustbefiredbeforethevaseisglazed,andtheAcropoliswasnotcrownedwithmarbleinaday。

Thenthevoicecametohimagain,buttherewasastraininitasofsomehughmusicstrugglingtobebornoftheturmoil。"UglyIam,"itseemedtosaytohim,"butneverforgetthatIAMagod！"Andthevoicegrewinsonorousnessandindignity。"Thehighestshouldserve,butsolongasyouworshipmeformyownsakeIwillnotserveyou。Itismanwhomakesmeugly,byhisworshipofme。Ifmanwouldletmeservehim,Ishouldbebeautiful！"

Lookingoncemorefromthewindow,Bibbssculpturedforhimself——inthevaguecontortionsofthesmokeandfogabovetheroofs——agiganitcfigurewithfeetpedestaleduponthegreatbuildingsandshouldersdisappearingintheclouds,acolossusofsteelandwhollyblackenedwithsoot。ButBibbscarriedhisfancyfurther——fortherewasstillalittlepoetlingeringinthebackofhishead——andhethoughtthatupovertheclouds,unseenfrombelow,thegiantlaboredwithhishandsinthecleansunshine;andBibbshadaglimpseofwhathemadethere——perhapsforafellowshipofthechildrenofthechildrenthatwerechildrennow——anobleandjoyouscity,unbelievablywhite——"

Itwasthetelephonethatcalledhimfromhisvision。Itrangfiercely。

Heliftedthethingfromhisdeskandanswered——andasthesmallvoiceinsideitspokehedroppedthereceiverwithacrash。Hetrembledviolentlyashepickeditup,buthetoldhimselfhewaswrong——hehadbeenmistaken——yetitwasastartlinglybeautifulvoice;startlinglykind,too,andineffablyliketheonehehungeredmosttohear。

"Who？"hesaid,hisownvoiceshaking——likehishand。

"Mary。"

Herespondedwithtwohushedandincredulouswords:"ISIT？"

Therewasalittlethrillofpathetichalf—laughterintheinstrument。

"Bibbs——Iwantedto——justtoseeifyou——"

"Yes——Mary？"

"Iwaslookingwhenyouweresonearlyrunover。Isawit,Bibbs。Theysaidyouhadn"tbeenhurt,theythought,butIwantedtoknowformyself。"

"No,no,Iwasn"thurtatall——Mary。Itwasfatherwhocamenearerit。Hesavedme。"

"Yes,Isaw;butyouhadfallen。Icouldn"tgetthroughthecrowduntilyouhadgone。AndIwantedtoKNOW。"

"Mary——wouldyou——haveminded？"hesaid。

Therewasalongintervalbeforesheanswered。

"Yes。"

"Thenwhy——"

"Yes,Bibbs？"

"Idon"tknowwhattosay,"hecried。"It"ssowonderfultohearyourvoiceagain——I"mshaking,Mary——I——Idon"tknow——Idon"tknowanythingexceptthatI

AMtalkingtoyou！ItISyou——Mary？"

"Yes,Bibbs！"

"Mary——I"veseenyoufrommywindowathome——onlyfivetimessinceI——sincethen。Youlooked——oh,howcanItellyou？Itwaslikeamanchainedinacavecatchingaglimpseofthebluesky,Mary。Mary,won"tyou——letmeseeyouagain——near？IthinkIcouldmakeyoureallyforgiveme——you"dhaveto——"

"IDID——then。"

"No——notreally——oryouwouldn"thavesaidyoucouldn"tseemeanymore。"

"Thatwasn"tthereason。"Thevoicewasverylow。

"Mary,"hesaid,evenmoretremulouslythanbefore,"Ican"t——youCOULDN"T

meanitwasbecause——youcan"tmeanitwasbecauseyou——care？"

Therewasnoanswer。

"Mary？"hecalled,huskily。"IfyoumeanTHAT——you"dletmeseeyou——

wouldn"tyou？"

Andnowthevoicewassolowhecouldnotbesureitspokeatall,butifitdid,thewordswere,"Yes,Bibbs——dear。"

Butthevoicewasnotintheinstrument——itwassogentleandsolight,soalmostnothing,itseemedtobemadeofair——anditcamefromtheair。

Slowlyandincredulouslyheturned——andgloryfelluponhisshiningeyes。Thedoorofhisfather"sroomhadopened。

Marystooduponthethreshold。