第15章

"I"vereadbits,andlikethem­theyaresooriginalandfreshandsometimesdroll,"saidRose,smilingtoseewhatnaturalandappropriatemarksofapprobationtheelementsseemedtosetuponthepagesMacwasturningeagerly,foronehadevidentlybeenrainedon,acrushedberrystainedanother,someappreciativefield—mouseorsquirrelhadnibbledonecorner,andthecoverwasfadedwiththesunshine,whichseemedtohavefilteredthroughtothethoughtswithin。

"Here"sacharacteristicbitforyou:"Iwouldrathersitonapumpkin,andhaveitalltomyself,thanbecrowdedonavelvetcushion。Iwouldratherrideonearthinanoxcart,withfreecirculation,thangotoheaveninthefancycarofanexcursiontrain,andbreathemalariaalltheway。"

"I"vetriedbothandquiteagreewithhim,"laughedMac,andskimmingdownanotherpage,gaveheraparagraphhereandthere。

""Readthebestbooksfirst,oryoumaynothaveachancetoreadthematall。"

""Wedonotlearnmuchfromlearnedbooks,butfromsincerehumanbooks:

frank,honestbiographies。"

""Atleastletushavehealthybooks。Letthepoetbeasvigorousasthesugarmaple,withsapenoughtomaintainhisownverdure,besideswhatrunsintothetrough;andnotlikeavinewhich,beingcutinthespring,bearsnofruit,butbleedstodeathintheendeavortohealitswounds。"

"

"Thatwilldoforyou,"saidRose,stillthinkingofthenewsuspicionwhichpleasedherbyitsveryimprobability。

Macflashedaquicklookatherandshutthebook,sayingquietly,althoughhiseyesshone,andaconscioussmilelurkedabouthismouth:"Weshallsee,andnooneneedmeddle,for,asmyThoreausays,"Whate"erweleavetoGod,GoddoesAndblessesus:

TheworkwechooseshouldbeourownGodletsalone。"Rosesatsilent,asifconsciousthatshedeservedhispoeticalreproof。

"Come,youhavecatechizedmeprettywell;nowI"lltakemyturnandaskyouwhyyoulook"uplifted,"asyoucallit。Whathaveyoubeendoingtomakeyourselfmorelikeyournamesakethanever？"askedMac,carryingwarintotheenemy"scampwiththesuddenquestion。

"Nothingbutlive,andenjoydoingit。Iactuallysithere,dayafterday,ashappyandcontentedwithlittlethingsasDulceisandfeelasifIwasn"tmucholderthanshe,"answeredthegirl,feelingasifsomechangewasgoingoninthatpleasantsortofpausebutunabletodescribeit。"Asifaroseshouldshutandbeabudagain,"

murmuredMac,borrowingfromhisbelovedKeats。

"Ah,butIcan"tdothat！ImustgoonbloomingwhetherIlikeitornot,andtheonlytroubleIhaveistoknowwhatleafIoughttounfoldnext,"saidRose,playfullysmoothingoutthewhitegown,inwhichshelookedverylikeadaisyamongthegreen。

"Howfarhaveyougot？"askedMac,continuinghiscatechismasifthefancysuitedhim。

"Letmesee。SinceIcamehomelastyear,I"vebeengay,thensad,thenbusy,andnowIamsimplyhappy。Idon"tknowwhy,butseemtobewaitingforwhatistocomenextandgettingreadyforit,perhapsunconsciously,"

shesaid,lookingdreamilyawaytothehillsagain,isifthenewexperiencewascomingtoherfromafar。

Macwatchedherthoughtfullyforaminute,wonderinghowmanymoreleavesmustunfoldbeforethegoldenheartofthishumanflowerwouldlieopentothesun。Hefeltacuriousdesiretohelpinsomeway,andcouldthinkofnonebetterthantoofferherwhathehadfoundmosthelpfultohimself。

Pickingupanotherbook,heopeneditataplacewhereanoakleaflayand,handingittoher,said,asifpresentingsomethingveryexcellentandprecious:"Ifyouwanttobereadytotakewhatevercomesinabraveandnobleway,readthat,andtheonewherethepageisturneddown。"

Rosetookit,sawthewords"Self—Reliance,"

andturningtheleaves,readhereandthereapassagewhichwasmarked:

""Mylifeisforitself,andnotforaspectacle。"

""Insistonyourself:neverimitate。Thatwhicheachcandobest,nonebuthisMakercanteachhim。"

""Dothatwhichisassignedtoyou,andyoucannothopeordaretoomuch。""

Then,comingtothefoldedpage,whosetitlewas"Heroism,"sheread,andbrightenedassheread:

""Letthemaiden,witherectsoul,walkserenelyonherway;acceptthehintofeachnewexperience;searchinturnalltheobjectsthatsolicithereye,thatshemaylearnthepowerandthecharmofhernewbornbeing。"

""Thefairgirlwhorepelsinterferencebyadecidedandproudchoiceofinfluencesinspireseverybeholderwithsomethingofherownnobleness;

andthesilentheartencouragesher。Ofriend,neverstrikesailtoafear！

Comeintoportgreatly,orsailwithGodtheseas。""

"Youunderstandthat,don"tyou？"askedMacassheglancedupwiththelookofonewhohadfoundsomethingsuitedtohertasteandneed。

"Yes,butIneverdaredtoreadtheseEssays,becauseIthoughttheyweretoowiseforme。"

"Thewisestthingsaresometimesthesimplest,Ithink。Everyonewelcomeslightandair,andcannotdowithoutthem,yetveryfewcouldexplainthemtruly。Idon"taskyoutoreadorunderstandallofthat­don"tmyself­butIdorecommendthetwoessaysI"vemarked,aswellas"Love"

and"Friendship。"

Trythem,andletmeknowhowtheysuit。I"llleaveyouthebook。"

"Thanks。Iwantedsomethingfinetoreaduphereand,judgingbywhatIsee,Ifancythiswillsuit。OnlyAuntJessiemaythinkI"mputtingonairsifItryEmerson。"

"Whyshouldshe？Hehasdonemoretosetyoungmenandwomenthinkingthananymaninthiscenturyatleast。Don"tyoubeafraid­ifitiswhatyouwant,takeit,andgoaheadashetellsyou­"Withouthalting,withoutrest,LiftingBetteruptoBest。""I"lltry,"saidRosemeekly,feelingthatMachadbeengoingaheadhimselfmuchfasterthanshehadanysuspicion。

Hereavoiceexclaimed"Hallo！"and,lookingaround,Jamiewasdiscoveredsurveyingthemcriticallyashestoodinanindependentattitude,likeasmallColossusofRhodesinbrownlinen,withabundleofmolassescandyinonehand,severalnewfishhookscherishedcarefullyintheother,andhishatwellonthebackofhishead,displayingasmanyfrecklesasonesomewhatlimitednosecouldreasonablyaccommodate。

"Howareyou,youngone？"saidMac,nodding。

"Tip—top。Gladit"syou。ThoughtArchiemighthaveturnedupagain,andhe"snofun。Wheredidyoucomefrom？Whatdidyoucomefor？Howlongareyougoingtostay？Wantabit？It"sjollygood。"

WithwhichvariedremarksJamieapproached,shookhandsinamanlyway,and,sittingdownbesidehislongcousin,hospitablyofferedsticksofcandyallaround。

"Didyougetanyletters？"askedRose,decliningthestickytreat。

"Lots,butMamaforgottogive"emtome,andIwasratherinahurry,forMrs。AtkinsonsaidsomebodyhadcomeandIcouldn"twait,"explainedJamie,reposingluxuriouslywithhisheadonMac"slegsandhismouthfull。

"I"llstepandgetthem。Auntymustbetired,andweshouldenjoyreadingthenewstogether。"

"Sheisthemostconvenientgirlthateverwas,"observedJamieasRosedeparted,thinkingMacmightlikesomemoresubstantialrefreshmentthansweetmeats。

"Ishouldthinkso,ifyouletherrunyourerrands,youlazylittlescamp,"answeredMac,lookingafterherasshewentupthegreenslope,fortherewassomethingveryattractivetohimabouttheslenderfigureinaplainwhitegownwithablacksashaboutthewaistandallthewavyhairgatheredtothetopoftheheadwithalittleblackbow。

"Sortofpre—Raphaelite,andquiterefreshingafterthefurbelowedcreaturesatthehotels,"hesaidtohimselfasshevanishedunderthearchofscarletrunnersoverthegardengate。

"Oh,well！Shelikesit。Roseisfondofme,andI"mverygoodtoherwhenIhavetime,"continuedJamie,calmlyexplaining。"Ilethercutoutafishhook,whenitcaughtinmyleg,withasharppenknife,andyou"dbetterbelieveithurt,butIneversquirmedabit,andshesaidIwasabraveboy。Andthen,onedayIgotleftonmydesertisland­outinthepond,youknow­theboatfloatedoff,andthereIwasforasmuchasanhourbeforeIcouldmakeanyonehear。ButRosethoughtImightbethere,anddownshecame,andtoldmetoswimashore。Itwasn"tfar,butthewaterwashorridcold,andIdidn"tlikeit。Istartedthough,justasshesaid,andgotonallright,tillabouthalfway,thencramporsomethingmademeshutupandhowl,andshecameaftermeslapdash,andpulledmeashore。Yes,sir,aswetasaturtle,andlookedsofunny,Ilaughed,andthatcuredthecramp。Wasn"tIgoodtomindwhenshesaid,"Comeon"？"

"Shewas,todiveaftersuchascapegrace。Iguessyouleadheralifeofit,andI"dbettertakeyouhomewithmeinthemorning,"suggestedMac,rollingtheboyoverandgivinghimagood—naturedpummelingonthehaycockwhileDulceapplaudedfromhernest。

WhenRosereturnedwithice—coldmilk,gingerbread,andletters,shefoundthereaderofEmersonupinthetree,peltingandbeingpeltedwithgreenapplesasJamievainlyendeavoredtogetathim。ThesiegeendedwhenAuntJessieappeared,andtherestoftheafternoonwasspentinchatabouthomeaffairs。

EarlythenextmorningMacwasoff,andRosewentasfarastheoldchurchwithhim。

"Shallyouwalkalltheway？"sheaskedashestrodealongbesideherinthedewyfreshnessoftheyoungday。

"Onlyabouttwentymiles,thentakecarandwhiskbacktomywork,"

heanswered,breakingadelicatefernforher。

"Areyouneverlonely？"

"Never。Itakemybestfriendsalong,youknow,"andhegaveaslaptothepocketfromwhichpeepedthevolumeofThoreau。

"I"mafraidyouleaveyourverybestbehindyou,"saidRose,alludingtothebookhehadlentheryesterday。

"I"mgladtoshareitwithyou。Ihavemuchofithere,andalittlegoesagreatway,asyouwillsoondiscover,"heanswered,tappinghishead。

"Ihopethereadingwilldoasmuchformeasitseemstohavedoneforyou。I"mhappy,butyouarewiseandgood­Iwanttobealso。"

"Readaway,anddigestitwell,thenwriteandtellmewhatyouthinkofit。Willyou？"heaskedastheypausedwherethefourroadsmet。

"Ifyouwillanswer。Shallyouhavetimewithallyourotherwork？Poetry­I

begpardon­medicineisveryabsorbing,youknow,"answeredRosemischievously,forjustthen,ashestoodbareheadedintheshadowsoftheleavesplayingoverhisfineforehead,sherememberedthechatamongthehaycocks,andhedidnotlookatalllikeanM。D。

"I"llmaketime。"

"Good—bye,Milton。"

"Good—bye,Sabrina。"Chapter18。Chapter18。18WHICHWASIT？Rosedidreadanddigest,andfoundherdaysmuchricherforthegoodcompanyshekept,foranintroductiontosomuchthatwaswise,beautiful,andtruecouldnotbutmakethatmonthamemorableone。Itisnotstrangethatwhiletheyoungmanmostadmired"Heroism"and"Self—Reliance,"thegirlpreferred"Love"and"Friendship,"readingthemoverandoverlikeprosepoems,astheyare,tothefittingaccompanimentofsunshine,solitude,andsympathy,forletterswenttoandfrowithpraiseworthyregularity。

Rosemuchenjoyedthiscorrespondence,andfoundherselfregrettingthatitwasatanendwhenshewenthomeinSeptember,forMacwrotebetterthanhetalked,thoughhecoulddothatremarkablywellwhenhechose。

Butshehadnochancetoexpresseitherpleasureorregret,forthefirsttimeshesawhimafterherreturnthegreatchangeinhisappearancemadeherforgeteverythingelse。Somewhimhadseizedhimtobeshavenandshorn,andwhenhepresentedhimselftowelcomeRose,shehardlyknewhim。Theshaggyhairwasnicelytrimmedandbrushed,thecherishedbrownbeardentirelygone,showingawell—cutmouthandhandsomechinandgivinganewexpressiontothewholeface。

"AreyoutryingtolooklikeKeats？"sheasked,afteracriticalglance,whichleftherundecidedwhetherthechangewasanimprovementornot。

"IamtryingnottolooklikeUncle,"answeredMaccoolly。

"Andwhy,ifyouplease？"demandedRoseingreatsurprise。

"BecauseIprefertolooklikemyself,andnotresembleanyotherman,nomatterhowgoodorgreathemaybe。"

"Youhaven"tsucceededthen,foryoulooknowverymuchliketheyoungAugustus,"returnedRose,ratherpleasedonthewholetoseewhatafinelyshapedheadappearedaftertheroughthatchwasoff。

"Trustawomantofindacomparisonforeverythingunderthesun！"laughedMac,notatallflatteredbytheonejustmade。"Whatdoyouthinkofme,onthewhole？"heaskedaminutelater,ashefoundRosestillscrutinizinghimwithameditativeair。

"Haven"tmadeupmymind。Itissuchanentirechange,Idon"tknowyou,andfeelasifIoughttobeintroduced。Youcertainlylookmuchmoretidy,andIfancyIshalllikeitwhenI"musedtoseeingasomewhatdistinguished—lookingmanaboutthehouseinsteadofmyoldfriendOrson,"

answeredRose,withherheadononesidetogetaprofileview。

"Don"ttellUnclewhyIdidit,please­hethinksitwasforthesakeofcoolnessandlikesit,sotakenonotice。Theyareallusedtomenow,anddon"tmind,"saidMac,rovingabouttheroomasifratherashamedofhiswhimafterall。

"No,Iwon"t,butyoumustn"tmindifI"mnotassociableasusualforawhile。Inevercanbewithstrangers,andyoureallydoseemlikeone。

Thatwillbeapunishmentforyourwantoftasteandloveoforiginality,"

returnedRose,resolvedtopunishhimfortheslightputuponherbeloveduncle。

"Asyoulike。Iwon"ttroubleyoumuchanyway,forI"mgoingtobeverybusy。MaygotoL？thiswinter,ifUnclethinksbest,andthenmy"originality"

can"tannoyyou。"

"Ihopeyouwon"tgo。Why,Mac,I"mjustgettingtoknowandenjoyyou,andthoughtwe"dhaveanicetimethiswinterreadingsomethingtogether。

Mustyougo？"AndRoseseemedtoforgethisstrangeness,assheheldhimstillbyonebuttonwhileshetalked。

"Thatwouldbenice。ButIfeelasifImustgo­myplansareallmade,andI"vesetmyheartonit,"answeredMac,lookingsoeagerthatRosereleasedhim,sayingsadly:"Isupposeitisnaturalforyoualltogetrestlessandpushoff,butitishardformetoletyougooneaftertheotherandstayherealone。Charlieisgone,ArchieandStevearewrappedupintheirsweethearts,theboysaway,andonlyJamieleftto"playwithRose。""

"ButI"llcomeback,andyou"llbegladIwentifIbringyoumy­"

beganMacwithsuddenanimation,thenstoppedabruptlytobitehislips,asifhehadnearlysaidtoomuch。

"Yourwhat？"askedRosecuriously,forheneitherlookednoractedlikehimself。

"Iforgothowlongittakestogetadiploma,"hesaid,walkingawayagain。

"Therewillbeonecomfortifyougo­you"llseePhebeandcantellmeallabouther,forsheissomodest,shedoesn"thalfdoit。Ishallwanttoknowhowshegetson,ifsheisengagedtosingballadsintheconcertstheytalkoffornextwinter。Youwillwrite,won"tyou？"

"Oh,yes！Nodoubtofthat,"andMaclaughedlowtohimselfashestoopedtolookatthelittlePsycheonthemantelpiece。"Whataprettythingitis！"headdedsoberlyashetookitup。

"Becareful。UnclegaveittomelastNewYear,andI"mveryfondofit。SheisjustliftingherlamptoseewhatCupidislike,forshehasn"tseenhimyet,"saidRose,busyputtingherworktableinorder。

"YououghttohaveaCupidforhertolookat。Shehasbeenwaitingpatientlyawholeyear,withnothingbutabronzelizardinsight,"saidMacwiththehalf—shy,half—daringlookwhichwassonewandpuzzling。

"Cupidfledawayassoonasshewokehim,youknow,andshehadabadtimeofit。Shemustwaitlongertillshecanfindandkeephim。"

"Doyouknowshelookslikeyou？Hairtiedupinaknot,andaspiritualsortofface。Don"tyouseeit？"askedMac,turningthegracefullittlefiguretowardher。

"Notabitofit。IwonderwhomIshallresemblenext！I"vebeencomparedtoaFraAngelicoangel,SaintAgnes,andnow"Syke,"asAnnabeloncecalledher。"

"You"dseewhatImean,ifyou"deverwatchedyourownfacewhenyouwerelisteningtomusic,talkingearnestly,ormuchmoved,thenyoursoulgetsintoyoureyesandyouare­likePsyche。"

"Tellmethenexttimeyouseemeina"soulful"state,andI"lllookintheglass,forI"dliketoseeifitisbecoming,"saidRosemerrilyasshesortedhergayworsteds。"Yourfeetinthefull—growngrasses,Movedsoftasasoftwindblows;

YoupassedmeasAprilpasses,Withafacemadeoutofarose,"murmuredMacunderhisbreath,thinkingofthewhitefiguregoingupagreenslopeonesummerday;then,asifchidinghimselfforsentimentality,hesetPsychedownwithgreatcareandbegantotalkaboutacourseofsolidreadingforthewinter。

Afterthat,Rosesawverylittleofhimforseveralweeks,asheseemedtobemakingupforlosttimeandwasmoreoddandabsentthaneverwhenhedidappear。

Asshebecameaccustomedtothechangeinhisexternalappearance,shediscoveredthathewasalteringfastinotherwaysandwatchedthe"distinguished—lookinggentleman"withmuchinterest,sayingtoherself,whenshesawanewsortofdignityabouthimalternatingwithanunusualrestlessnessofmanner,andnowandthenatouchofsentiment,"Geniusissimmering,justasI

predicted。"

Asthefamilywereinmourning,therewerenofestivitiesonRose"stwenty—firstbirthday,thoughtheboyshadplannedallsortsofrejoicings。

Everyonefeltparticularlytendertowardtheirgirlonthatday,rememberinghow"poorCharlie"hadlovedher,andtheytriedtoshowitinthegiftsandgoodwishestheysenther。Shefoundhersanctumallaglowwithautumnleaves,andonhertablesomanyrareandprettythings,shequiteforgotshewasanheiressandonlyfelthowrichshewasinlovingfriends。

Onegiftgreatlypleasedher,thoughshecouldnothelpsmilingatthesourcefromwhenceitcame,forMacsentheraCupid­notthechubbychildwithafaceofnaughtymerriment,butaslender,wingedyouthleaningonhisunstrungbow,withabrokenarrowathisfeet。Apoem,"ToPsyche,"

camewithit,andRosewasmuchsurprisedatthebeautyofthelines,for,insteadofbeingwitty,complimentary,orgay,therewassomethingnoblerthanmeresentimentinthem,andthesweetoldfablelivedagaininlanguagewhichfitlypaintedthemaidenSoullookingforaLoveworthytopossessit。

Rosereadthemoverandoverasshesatamongthegoldandscarletleaveswhichglorifiedherlittleroom,andeachtimefoundnewdepthandbeautyinthem,lookingfromthewordsthatmademusicinhereartothelovelyshapesthatspokewiththeirmutegracetohereye。Thewholethingsuitedherexactly,itwassodelicateandperfectinitsway,forshewastiredofcostlygiftsandvaluedverymuchthisproofofhercousin"stasteandtalent,seeingnothinginitbutanaffectionatedesiretopleaseher。

Alltherestdroppedinatintervalsthroughthedaytosayalovingword,andlastofallcameMac。RosehappenedtobealonewithDulce,enjoyingasplendidsunsetfromherwesternwindow,forOctobergaveherchildabeautifulgoodnight。

Roseturnedaroundasheenteredand,puttingdownthelittlegirl,wenttohimwiththeeveningredshiningonherhappyfaceasshesaidgratefully:"DearMac,itwassolovely！Idon"tknowhowtothankyouforitinanywaybutthis。"And,drawingdownhistallhead,shegavehimthebirthdaykissshehadgivenalltheothers。

Butthistimeitproducedasingulareffect,forMacturnedscarlet,thengrewpale,andwhenRoseaddedplayfully,thinkingtorelievetheshynessofsoyoungapoet,"Neveragainsayyoudon"twritepoetry,orcallyourversesrubbish­Iknewyouwereagenius,andnowI"msureofit,"hebrokeout,asifagainsthiswill:"No。Itisn"tgenius,itis­love！"Then,assheshrankalittle,startledathisenergy,headded,withaneffortatself—controlwhichmadehisvoicesoundstrange:

"Ididn"tmeantospeak,butIcan"tsufferyoutodeceiveyourselfso。

Imusttellthetruth,andnotletyoukissmelikeacousinwhenIloveyouwithallmyheartandsoul！"

"Oh,Mac,don"tjoke！"criedRose,bewilderedbythissuddenglimpseintoaheartshethoughtsheknewsowell。

"I"minsolemnearnest,"heansweredsteadily,insuchaquiettonethat,butforthepaleexcitementofhisface,shemighthavedoubtedhiswords。"Beangry,ifyouwill。Iexpectit,forIknowitistoosoontospeak。Ioughttowaitforyears,perhaps,butyouseemedsohappyIdaredtohopeyouhadforgotten。"

"Forgottenwhat？"askedRosesharply。

"Charlie。"

"Ah！YouallwillinsistonbelievingthatIlovedhimbetterthanI

did！"shecried,withbothpainandimpatienceinhervoice,forthefamilydelusiontriedherverymuchattimes。

"Howcouldwehelpit,whenhewaseverythingwomenmostadmire？"saidMac,notbitterly,butasifhesometimeswonderedattheirwantofinsight。

"Idonotadmireweaknessofanysort­Icouldneverlovewithouteitherconfidenceorrespect。Domethejusticetobelievethat,forI"mtiredofbeingpitied。"

Shespokealmostpassionately,beingmoreexcitedbyMac"srepressedemotionthanshehadeverbeenbyCharlie"smosttouchingdemonstration,thoughshedidnotknowwhy。

"Buthelovedyouso！"beganMac,feelingasifabarrierhadsuddenlygonedownbutnotdaringtoventureinasyet。

"Thatwasthehardpartofit！ThatwaswhyItriedtolovehim,whyIhopedhewouldstandfastformysake,ifnotforhisown,andwhyI

founditsosadsometimesnottobeabletohelpdespisinghimforhiswantofcourage。Idon"tknowhowothersfeel,but,tome,loveisn"tall。

Imustlookup,notdown,trustandhonorwithmywholeheart,andfindstrengthandintegritytoleanon。Ihavehaditsofar,andIknowIcouldnotlivewithoutit。"

"Youridealisahighone。Doyouhopetofindit,Rose？"Macasked,feeling,withthehumilityofagenuinelove,thathecouldnotgiveherallshedesired。

"Yes,"sheanswered,withafacefullofthebeautifulconfidenceinvirtue,theinstinctivedesireforthebestwhichsomanyofuslosetoosoon,tofindagainafterlife"sgreatlessonsarewelllearned。"Idohopetofindit,becauseItrynottobeunreasonableandexpectperfection。

Smileifyouwill,butIwon"tgiveupmyheroyet,"andshetriedtospeaklightly,hopingtoleadhimawayfromamoredangeroustopic。

"You"llhavetolookalongwhile,I"mafraid,"andalltheglowwasgoneoutofMac"sface,forheunderstoodherwishandknewhisanswerhadbeengiven。

"IhaveUncletohelpme,andIthinkmyidealgrewoutofmyknowledgeofhim。HowcanIfailtobelieveingoodness,whenheshowsmewhatitcanbeanddo？"

"It"snouseformetosayanymore,forIhaveverylittletooffer。

IdidnotmeantosayawordtillIearnedarighttohopeforsomethinginreturn。Icannottakeitback,butIcanwishyousuccess,andIdo,becauseyoudeservetheverybest。"AndMacmovedasifhewasgoingawaywithoutmorewords,acceptingtheinevitableasmanfullyashecould。

"Thankyou­thatmakesmefeelveryungratefulandunkind。IwishIcouldansweryouasyouwantmetofor,indeed,dearMac,I"mveryfondofyouinmyownway,"andRoselookedupwithsuchtenderpityandfrankaffectioninherface,itwasnowonderthepoorfellowcaughtatarayofhopeand,brighteningsuddenly,saidinhisownoddway:"Couldn"tyoutakemeontrialwhileyouarewaitingforatruehero？Itmaybeyearsbeforeyoufindhim;meantime,youcouldbepracticingonmeinwaysthatwouldbeusefulwhenyougethim。"

"Oh,Mac！WhatshallIdowithyou？"exclaimedRose,socuriouslyaffectedbythisverycharacteristicwooingthatshedidnotknowwhethertolaughorcry,forhewaslookingatherwithhisheartinhiseyes,thoughhispropositionwasthequeerestevermadeatsuchatime。

"Justgoonbeingfondofmeinyourownway,andletmeloveyouasmuchasIlikeinmine。I"lltrytobesatisfiedwiththat。"Andhetookbothherhandssobeseechinglythatshefeltmoreungratefulthanever。

"No,itwouldnotbefair,foryouwouldlovethemostand,iftheherodidappear,whatwouldbecomeofyou？"

"IshouldresembleUncleAlecinonethingatleast­fidelity,formyfirstlovewouldbemylast。"

ThatwentstraighttoRose"sheart,andforaminuteshestoodsilent,lookingdownatthetwostronghandsthatheldherssofirmlyyetsogently,andthethoughtwentthroughhermind,"Musthe,too,besolitaryallhislife？Ihavenodearloverasmymotherhad,whycannotImakehimhappyandforgetmyself？"

Itdidnotseemveryhard,andsheownedthat,evenwhileshetoldherselfthatcompassionwasnoequivalentforlove。Shewantedtogiveallshecould,andkeepasmuchofMac"saffectionasshehonestlymight,becauseitseemedtogrowmoresweetandpreciouswhenshethoughtofputtingitaway。

"YouwillbelikeUncleinhappierwaysthanthat,Ihope,foryou,too,musthaveahighidealandfindherandbehappy,"shesaid,resolvingtobetruetothevoiceofconscience,notbeswayedbytheimpulseofthemoment。

"Ihavefoundher,butIdon"tseeanyprospectofhappiness,doyou？"heaskedwistfully。

"DearMac,Icannotgiveyoutheloveyouwant,butIdotrustandrespectyoufromthebottomofmyheart,ifthatisanycomfort,"beganRose,lookingupwitheyesfullofcontritionforthepainherreplymustgive。

Shegotnofurther,however,forthoselastwordswroughtamarvelouschangeinMac。Droppingherhands,hestooderect,asifinspiredwithsuddenenergyandhope,whileoverhisfacetherecameabrave,brightlook,whichforthemomentmadehimanoblerandcomeliermanthaneverhandsomePrincehadbeen。

"Itisacomfort！"hesaid,inatoneofgratitudethattouchedherverymuch。"Yousaidyourlovemustbefoundedonrespect,andthatyouhavegivenme­whycanInotearntherest？I"mnothingnow,buteverythingispossiblewhenoneloveswithallhisheartandsoulandstrength。

Rose,Iwillbeyourheroifamortalmancan,eventhoughIhavetoworkandwaitforyears。I"llmakeyouloveme,andbegladtodoit。

Don"tbefrightened。I"venotlostmywits­I"vejustfoundthem。I

don"taskanything­I"llneverspeakofmyhope,butitisnousetostopme。Imusttryit,andIwillsucceed！"

Withthelastwords,utteredinaringingvoicewhilehisfaceglowed,hiseyesshone,andhelookedasifcarriedoutofhimselfbythepassionthatpossessedhim,Macabruptlylefttheroom,likeoneeagertochangewordstodeedsandbeginhistaskatonce。

Rosewassoamazedbyallthisthatshesatdowntremblingalittle,notwithfearoranger,butafeelinghalfpleasure,halfpain,andasenseofsomenewpower­subtle,strong,andsweet­thathadcomeintoherlife。ItseemedasifanotherMachadtakentheplaceoftheoneshehadknownsolong­anardent,ambitiousman,readyforanyworknowthatthemagicalmomenthadcomewheneverythingseemspossibletolove。

Ifhopecouldworksuchamarvelouschangeforamoment,couldnothappinessdoitforalifetime？Itwouldbeanexcitingexperimenttotry,shethought,rememberingthesuddenilluminationwhichmadethatfamiliarfacebothbeautifulandstrange。

Shecouldnothelpwonderinghowlongthisunsuspectedsentimenthadbeengrowinginhisheartandfeltperplexedbyitspeculiardemonstration,forshehadneverhadaloverlikethisbefore。Ittouchedandflatteredher,nevertheless­andshecouldnotbutfeelhonoredbyalovesogenuineandgenerous,foritseemedtomakeamanofMacallatonce,andamanlyman,too,whowasnotdauntedbydisappointmentbutcould"hopeagainsthope"andresolvetomakeherlovehimifittookyearstodoit。

Therewasthecharmofnoveltyaboutthissortofwooing,andshetriedtoguesshowhewouldsetaboutit,feltcurioustoseehowhewouldbehavewhennexttheymet,andwashalfangrywithherselffornotbeingabletodecidehowsheoughttoact。Themoreshethought,themorebewilderedshegrew,forhavingmadeuphermindthatMacwasagenius,itdisturbedallherplanstofindhimalover,andsuchanardentone。Asitwasimpossibletopredictwhatwouldcomenext,shegaveuptryingtoprepareforitand,tiredwithvainspeculations,carriedDulceofftobed,wishingshecouldtuckawayherlovetroublesasquietlyandcomfortablyasshedidhersleepylittlecharge。