第13章

Rosestoodstill,appalledbythissuddenknowledgeofhowmuchgreatertheevilwasthanshehaddreamed。Whatoughtshetodo？Gowithhercousin,andbysodoingtacitlypledgeherselfashiscompaniononthatlongerjourneyforwhichhewasasyetsopoorlyequipped？Bothheartandconscienceprotestedagainstthissostronglythatsheputthethoughtaway。Butcompassionpleadedforhimtenderly,andthespiritofself—sacrifice,whichmakeswomenlovetogivemorethantheyreceive,causedhertofeelasifinameasurethisman"sfatelayinherhands,tobedecidedforgoodorillthroughher。Howshouldshebetruebothtohimandtoherself？

Beforethisquestioncouldbeanswered,hewasbackagain,lookingasifhehadlefthiscarebehindhim,forhismoodsvariedlikethewind。

Herattitude,asshestoodmotionlessandalonewithdowncastface,wassounlikethecheerfulcreaturewhocametomeethimanhourago,itfilledhimwithself—reproach,and,comingup,hedrewonehandthroughhisarm,saying,assheinvoluntarilyfollowedhim,"Youmustnotstandstill。Forgetmyheroicsandanswermyquestion。Willyougowithus,Rose？"

"Notnow­thatisaskingtoomuch,Charlie,andIwillpromisenothing,becauseIcannotdoithonestly,"sheanswered,sofirmlythatheknewappealwasuseless。

"AmItogoalone,then,leavingallIcareforbehindme？"

"No,takeyourmotherwithyou,anddoyourbesttoreuniteyourparents。

Youcouldnotgiveyourselftoabettertask。"

"Shewon"tgowithoutyou。"

"Ithinkshewillifyouholdfasttoyourresolution。Youwon"tgivethatup,Ihope？"

"No­Imustgosomewhere,forIcan"tstayhere,anditmayaswellbeIndia,sincethatpleasesFather,"answeredCharliedoggedly。

"Itwillmorethanyoucanimagine。Tellhimallthetruth,andseehowgladhewillbetohelpyou,andhowsincerelyhewillrespectyouforwhatyou"vedone。"

"Ifyourespectme,Idon"tcaremuchabouttheopinionofanyoneelse,"

answeredCharlie,clingingwithalover"spertinacitytothehopethatwasdearest。

"Ishall,ifyougomanfullyawayanddothedutyyouoweyourfatherandyourself。"

"AndwhenI"vedoneit,mayIcomebacktoberewarded,Rose？"heasked,takingpossessionofthehandonhisarmasifitwasalreadyhis。

"IwishIcouldsaywhatyouwantmeto。ButhowcanIpromisewhenIamnotsureofanything？Idon"tloveyouasIought,andperhapsInevershall­sowhypersistinmakingmebindmyselfinthisway？Begenerous,Charlie,anddon"taskit,"imploredRose,muchafflictedbyhispersistence。

"Ithoughtyoudidloveme­itlookedverylikeitamonthago,unlessyouhaveturnedcoquette,andIcan"tquitebelievethat,"heansweredbitterly。

"Iwasbeginningtoloveyou,butyoumademeafraidtogoon,"

murmuredRose,tryingtotellthetruthkindly。

"Thatcursedcustom！Whatcanamandowhenhishostessaskshimtodrinkwinewithher？"AndCharlielookedasifhecouldhavecursedhimselfevenmoreheartily。

"Hecansay"no。""

"Ican"t。"

"Ah,that"sthetrouble！Youneverlearnedtosayiteventoyourself,andnowitissohard,youwantmetohelpyou。"

"Andyouwon"t。"

"Yes,Iwill,byshowingyouthatIcansayittomyself,foryoursake。"AndRoselookedupwithafacesofulloftendersorrowhecouldnotdoubtthewordswhichbothreproachedandcomfortedhim。

"Mylittlesaint！Idon"tdeserveonehalfyourgoodnesstome,butIwill,andgoawaywithoutonecomplainttodomybest,foryoursake,"

hecried,touchedbyhergriefandstirredtoemulationbytheexampleofcourageandintegrityshetriedtosethim。

HereKittyandSteveboredownuponthem;and,obeyingtheimpulsetoputcarebehindthem,whichmakesitpossibleforyoungheartstoacheoneminuteanddancethenext,RoseandCharliebanishedtheirtroubles,joinedinthesportthatsoonturnedthelonelylittlebayintoaballroom,andenjoyedthesplendorsofawintersunsetforgetfulofseparationandCalcutta。Chapter15。Chapter15。15ALASFORCHARLIE！Inspiteofmuchinternalrebellion,Charlieheldfasttohisresolution,andAuntClara,findingallpersuasionsvain,gaveinandinastateofchronicindignationagainsttheworldingeneralandRoseinparticular,preparedtoaccompanyhim。Thepoorgirlhadahardtimeofitand,butforheruncle,wouldhavefaredstillworse。HewasasortofshielduponwhichMrs。Clara"slamentations,reproaches,andirateglancesfellunavailinglyinsteadofwoundingtheheartagainstwhichtheywereaimed。

Thedayspassedveryquicklynow,foreveryoneseemedanxioustohavethepartingoverandpreparationswentonrapidly。Thebighousewasmadereadytoshutupforayearatleast,comfortsforthelongvoyagelaidin,andfarewellvisitspaid。ThegeneralactivityandexcitementrendereditimpossibleforCharlietoleadthelifeofanartistichermitanylongerandhefellintoarestlessconditionwhichcausedRosetolongforthedepartureoftheRajahwhenshefeltthathewouldbesafe,forthesefarewellfestivitiesweredangeroustoonewhowasjustlearningtosay"no。"

"Halfthemonthsafelygone。Ifwecanonlygetwellovertheselastweeks,agreatweightwillbeoffmymind,"thoughtRoseasshewentdownonewild,wetmorningtowardtheendofFebruary。

Openingthestudydoortogreetheruncle,sheexclaimed,"Why,Archie！"

thenpauseduponthethreshold,transfixedbyfear,forinhercousin"swhitefaceshereadthetidingsofsomegreataffliction。

"Hush！Don"tbefrightened。ComeinandI"lltellyou,"hewhispered,puttingdownthebottlehehadjusttakenfromthedoctor"smedicinecloset。

Roseunderstoodandobeyed,forAuntPlentywaspoorlywithherrheumatismanddependedonhermorningdoze。

"Whatisit？"shesaid,lookingabouttheroomwithashiver,asifexpectingtoseeagainwhatshesawthereNewYear"snight。Archiewasalone,however,and,drawinghertowardthecloset,answeredwithanevidentefforttobequitecalmandsteady­"Charlieishurt！Unclewantsmoreetherandthewidebandagesinsomedrawerorother。Hetoldme,butI

forget。Youkeepthisplaceinorder­findthemforme。Quick！"

Beforehehaddone,Rosewasatthedrawer,turningoverthebandageswithhandsthattrembledastheysearched。

"Allnarrow！Imustmakesome。Canyouwait？"And,catchingupapieceofoldlinen,shetoreitintowidestrips,adding,inthesamequicktone,asshebegantorollthem,"Now,tellme。"

"Icanwait­thosearenotneededjustyet。Ididn"tmeananyoneshouldknow,youleastofall,"beganArchie,smoothingoutthestripsastheylayacrossthetableandevidentlysurprisedatthegirl"snerveandskill。

"Icanbearit­makehaste！Ishemuchhurt？"

"I"mafraidheis。Unclelookssober,andthepoorboysuffersso,I

couldn"tstay,"answeredArchie,turningstillwhiteraboutthelipsthatneverhadsohardataletotellbefore。

"Yousee,hewenttotownlasteveningtomeetthemanwhoisgoingtobuyBrutus­"

"AndBrutusdidit？Iknewhewould！"criedRose,droppingherworktowringherhands,asifsheguessedtheendingofthestorynow。

"Yes,andifhewasn"tshotalreadyI"ddoitmyselfwithpleasure,forhe"sdonehisbesttokillCharlie,"mutteredCharlie"smatewithagrimlook,thengaveagreatsighandaddedwithavertedface,"Ishouldn"tblamethebrute,itwasn"thisfault。Heneededafirmhandand­"Hestoppedthere,butRosesaidquickly:"Goon。Imustknow。"

"Charliemetsomeofhisoldcronies,quitebyaccident;therewasadinnerparty,andtheymadehimgo,justforagood—bye,theysaid。Hecouldn"trefuse,anditwastoomuchforhim。Hewouldcomehomealoneinthestorm,thoughtheytriedtokeephim,ashewasn"tfit。Downbythenewbridge­thathighembankment,youknow­thewindhadputthelanternout­heforgot­orsomethingscaredBrutus,andallwentdowntogether。"

ArchiehadspokenfastandbrokenlybutRoseunderstoodandatthelastwordhidherfacewithalittlemoan,asifshesawitall。

"Drinkthisandnevermindtherest,"hesaid,dashingintothenextroomandcomingbackwithaglassofwater,longingtobedoneandaway,forthissortofpainseemedalmostasbadasthathehadleft。

Rosedrank,butheldhisarmtightly,ashewouldhaveturnedaway,sayinginatoneofcommandhecouldnotdisobey:"Don"tkeepanythingback­tellmetheworstatonce。"

"Weknewnothingofit,"hewentonobediently。"AuntClarathoughthewaswithme,andnoonefoundhimtillearlythismorning。Aworkmanrecognizedhimandhewasbroughthome,deadtheythought。IcameforUncleanhourago。Charlieisconsciousnow,butawfullyhurt,andI"mafraidfromthewayMacandUnclelookedatoneanotherthat­Oh！Thinkofit,Rose！Crushedandhelpless,aloneintherainallnight,andIneverknew,Ineverknew！"

Withthat,poorArchiebrokedownentirelyand,flinginghimselfintoachair,laidhisfaceonthetable,sobbinglikeagirl。Rosehadneverseenamancrybefore,anditwassounlikeawoman"sgentlergriefthatitmovedherverymuch。Puttingbyherownanguish,shetriedtocomforthisand,goingtohim,lifteduphisheadandmadehimleanonher,forinsuchhoursasthiswomenarethestronger。Itwasaverylittletodo,butitdidcomfortArchie,forthepoorfellowfeltasiffatewasveryharduponhimjustthen,andinthisfaithfulbosomhecouldpourhisbriefbutpatheticplaint。

"Phebe"sgone,andnowifCharlie"staken,Idon"tseehowIcanbearit！"

"Phebewillcomeback,dear,andletushopepoorCharlieisn"tgoingtobetakenyet。Suchthingsalwaysseemworstatfirst,I"veheardpeoplesay,socheerupandhopeforthebest,"answeredRose,seekingforsomecomfortablewordstosayandfindingveryfew。

Theytookeffect,however,forArchiedidcheeruplikeaman。Wipingawaythetearswhichhesoseldomshedthattheydidnotknowwheretogo,hegotup,gavehimselfalittleshake,andsaidwithalongbreath,asifhehadbeenunderwater:"NowI"mallright,thankyou。Icouldn"thelpit­theshockofbeingwakedsuddenlytofindthedearoldfellowinsuchapitifulstateupsetme。Ioughttogo­aretheseready？"

"Inaminute。TellUncletosendformeifIcanbeofanyuse。Oh,poorAuntClara！Howdoesshebearit？"

"Almostdistracted。ItookMothertoher,andshewilldoallthatanybodycan。HeavenonlyknowswhatAuntwilldoif­"

"Andonlyheavencanhelpher,"addedRoseasArchiestoppedatthewordshecouldnotutter。"Nowtakethem,andletmeknowoften。"

"Youbravelittlesoul,Iwill。"AndArchiewentawaythroughtherainwithhissadburden,wonderinghowRosecouldbesocalmwhenthebelovedPrincemightbedying。

Alongdarkdayfollowed,withnothingtobreakitsmelancholymonotonyexceptthebulletinsthatcamefromhourtohourreportinglittlechangeeitherforbetterorforworse。RosebrokethenewsgentlytoAuntPlentyandsetherselftothetaskofkeepinguptheoldlady"sspirits,for,beinghelpless,thegoodsoulfeltasifeverythingwouldgowrongwithouther。Atduskshefellasleep,andRosewentdowntoorderlightsandfireintheparlor,withteareadytoserveatanymoment,forshefeltsuresomeofthemenwouldcomeandthatacheerfulgreetingandcreaturecomfortswouldsuitthembetterthantears,darkness,anddesolation。

PresentlyMacarrived,sayingtheinstantheenteredtheroom:"Morecomfortable,Cousin。"

"Thankheaven！"criedRose,unclaspingherhands。Thenseeinghowwornout,wet,andwearyMaclookedashecameintothelight,sheaddedinatonethatwasacordialinitself,"Poorboy,howtiredyouare！Comehere,andletmemakeyoucomfortable。"

"Iwasgoinghometofreshenupabit,forImustbebackinanhour。

Mothertookmyplace,soIcouldbespared,andcameoff,asUnclerefusedtostir。"

"Don"tgohome,forifAuntyisn"tthereitwillbeverydismal。StepintoUncle"sroomandrefresh,thencomebackandI"llgiveyouyourtea。

Letme,letme！Ican"thelpinanyotherway,andImustdosomething,thiswaitingissodreadful。"

Herlastwordsbetrayedhowmuchsuspensewastryingher,andMacyieldedatonce,gladtocomfortandbecomforted。Whenhecameback,lookingmuchrevived,atemptinglittleteatablestoodbeforethefireandRosewenttomeethim,sayingwithafaintsmile,assheliberallybedewedhimwiththecontentsofacologneflask:"Ican"tbearthesmellofether­itsuggestssuchdreadfulthings。"

"Whatcuriouscreatureswomenare！Archietoldusyouborethenewslikeahero,andnowyouturnpaleatawhiffofbadair。Ican"texplainit,"musedMacashemeeklyenduredthefragrantshowerbath。

"NeithercanI,butI"vebeenimagininghorrorsalldayandmademyselfnervous。Don"tletustalkaboutit,butcomeandhavesometea。"

"That"sanotherqueerthing。Teaisyourpanaceaforallhumanills­yetthereisn"tanynourishmentinit。I"dratherhaveaglassofmilk,thankyou,"saidMac,takinganeasychairandstretchinghisfeettothefire。

Shebroughtittohimandmadehimeatsomething;then,asheshuthiseyeswearily,shewentawaytothepianoand,havingnohearttosing,playedsoftlytillheseemedasleep。Butatthestrokeofsixhewasupandreadytobeoffagain。

"Hegavemethat。Takeitwithyouandputsomeonhishair。Helikesit,andIdosowanttohelpalittle,"shesaid,slippingtheprettyflagonintohispocketwithsuchawistfullookMacneverthoughtofsmilingatthisveryfemininerequest。

"I"lltellhim。IsthereanythingelseIcandoforyou,Cousin？"heasked,holdingthecoldhandthathadbeenservinghimsohelpfully。

"Onlythis­ifthereisanysuddenchange,promisetosendforme,nomatteratwhathouritis。Imustsay"good—bye""。

"Iwillcomeforyou。But,Rose,Iamsureyoumaysleepinpeacetonight,andIhopetohavegoodnewsforyouinthemorning。"

"Blessyouforthat！Comeearly,andletmeseehimsoon。Iwillbeverygood,andIknowitwillnotdohimanyharm。"

"Nofearofthat。Thefirstthinghesaidwhenhecouldspeakwas"TellRosecarefully,"andasIcameawayheguessedwhereIwasgoingandtriedtokisshishandintheoldway,youknow。"

MacthoughtitwouldcheerhertohearthatCharlierememberedher,butthesuddenthoughtthatshemightneverseethefamiliarlittlegestureanymorewasthelastdropthatmadeherfullheartoverflow,andMacsawthe"hero"ofthemorningsinkdownathisfeetinapassionoftearsthatfrightenedhim。Hetookhertothesofaandtriedtocomforther,butassoonasthebittersobbingquietedshelookedupandsaidquitesteadily,greatdropsrollingdownhercheeksthewhile:"Letmecry­itiswhatIneed,andIshallbeallthebetterforitbyandby。GotoCharlienowandtellhimIsaidwithallmyheart,"Goodnight！""

"Iwill！"AndMactrudgedaway,marvelinginhisturnatthecuriouslyblendedstrengthandweaknessofwomankind。

ThatwasthelongestnightRoseeverspent,butjoycameinthemorningwiththeearlymessage:"Heisbetter。Youaretocomebyandby。"ThenAuntPlentyforgotherlumbagoandarose;AuntMyra,whohadcometohaveasocialcroak,tookoffherblackbonnetasifitwouldnotbeneededatpresent,andthegirlmadereadytogoandsay"Welcomeback,"notthehard"Good—bye。"

Itseemedverylongtowait,fornosummonscametillafternoon,thenherunclearrived,andatthefirstsightofhisfaceRosebegantotremble。

"Icameformylittlegirlmyself,becausewemustgobackatonce,"

hesaidasshehurriedtowardhimhatinhand。

"I"mready,sir。"Butherhandsshookasshetriedtotietheribbons,andhereyesneverleftthefacethatwasfulloftenderpityforher。

Hetookherquicklyintothecarriageand,astheyrolledaway,saidwiththequietdirectnesswhichsoothessuchagitationbetterthananysympatheticdemonstration:"Charlieisworse。Ifeareditwhenthepainwentsosuddenlythismorning,butthechiefinjuriesareinternalandonecannevertellwhatthechancesare。Heinsiststhatheisbetter,buthewillsoonbegintofail,Ifear,becomeunconscious,andslipawaywithoutmoresuffering。Thisisthetimeforyoutoseehim,forhehassethisheartonit,andnothingcanhurthimnow。Mychild,itisveryhard,butwemusthelpeachotherbearit。"

Rosetriedtosay,"Yes,Uncle"bravely,butthewordswouldnotcome,andshecouldonlyslipherhandintohiswithalookofmutesubmission。

Helaidherheadonhisshoulderandwentontalkingsoquietlythatanyonewhodidnotseehowwornandhaggardhisfacehadgrownwithtwodaysandanightofsharpanxietymighthavethoughthimcold。

"Jessiehasgonehometorest,andJaneiswithpoorClara,whohasdroppedasleepatlast。I"vesentforSteveandtheotherboys。Therewillbetimeforthemlater,buthesobeggedtoseeyounow,Ithoughtitbesttocomewhilethistemporarystrengthkeepshimup。Ihavetoldhimhowitis,buthewillnotbelieveme。Ifheasksyou,answerhonestlyandtrytofithimalittleforthissuddenendingofsomanyhopes。"

"Howsoon,Uncle？"

"Afewhours,probably。Thistranquilmomentisyours­makethemostofitand,whenwecandonomoreforhim,we"llcomfortoneanother。"

Macmettheminthehall,butRosehardlysawhim。Shewasconsciousonlyofthetaskbeforeherand,whenheruncleledhertothedoor,shesaidquietly,"Letmegoinalone,please。"

Archie,whohadbeenhangingoverthebed,slippedawayintotheinnerroomassheappeared,andRosefoundCharliewaitingforherwithsuchahappyface,shecouldnotbelievewhatshehadheardandfounditeasytosayalmostcheerfullyasshetookhiseagerhandinbothofhers:"DearCharlie,I"msogladyousentforme。Ilongedtocome,butwaitedtillyouwerebetter。Yousurelyare？"sheadded,asasecondglanceshowedtohertheindescribablechangewhichhadcomeuponthefacewhichatfirstseemedtohavebothlightandcolorinit。

"Unclesaysnot,butIthinkheismistaken,becausetheagonyisallgone,andexceptforthisoddsinkingnowandthen,Idon"tfeelsomuchamiss,"heansweredfeeblybutwithsomethingoftheoldlightnessinhisvoice。

"YouwillhardlybeabletosailintheRajah,Ifear,butyouwon"tmindwaitingalittlewhilewenurseyou,"saidpoorRose,tryingtotalkonquietly,withherheartgrowingheaviereveryminute。

"IshallgoifI"mcarried！I"llkeepthatpromise,thoughitcostsmemylife。Oh,Rose！Youknow？They"vetoldyou？"And,withasuddenmemoryofwhatbroughthimthere,hehidhisfaceinthepillow。

"Youbrokenopromise,forIwouldnotletyoumakeone,youremember。

Forgetallthat,andletustalkaboutthebettertimethatmaybecomingforyou。"

"Alwayssogenerous,sokind！"hemurmured,withherhandagainsthisfeverishcheek;then,lookingup,hewentoninatonesohumblycontriteitmadehereyesfillwithslow,hottears。

"Itriedtofleetemptation­Itriedtosay"no,"butIamsopitiablyweak,Icouldn"t。Youmustdespiseme。Butdon"tgivemeupentirely,forifIlive,I"lldobetter。I"llgoawaytoFatherandbeginagain。"

Rosetriedtokeepbackthebitterdrops,buttheywouldfall,tohearhimstillspeakhopefullywhentherewasnohope。Somethinginthemuteanguishofherfaceseemedtotellhimwhatshecouldnotspeak,andaquickchangecameoverhimashegraspedherhandtighter,sayinginasharpwhisper:"HaveIreallygottodie,Rose？"

Heronlyanswerwastokneeldownandputherarmsabouthim,asifshetriedtokeepdeathawayalittlelonger。Hebelieveditthen,andlaysostill,shelookedupinamoment,fearingsheknewnotwhat。

ButCharlieboreitmanfully,forhehadthecouragewhichcanfaceagreatdangerbravely,thoughnotthestrengthtofightabosomsinandconquerit。Hiseyeswerefixed,asiftryingtolookintotheunseenworldwhitherhewasgoing,andhislipsfirmlysetthatnowordofcomplaintshouldspoiltheproofhemeanttogivethat,thoughhehadnotknownhowtolive,hedidknowhowtodie。ItseemedtoRoseasifforonebriefinstantshesawthemanthatmighthavebeenifearlytraininghadtaughthimhowtorulehimself;andthefirstwordsheutteredwithalongsigh,ashiseyecamebacktoher,showedthathefeltthefailureandowneditwithpatheticcandor。

"Betterso,perhaps;bettergobeforeIbringanymoresorrowtoyouandshametomyself。I"dliketostayalittlelongerandtrytoredeemthepast;itseemssowastednow,butifIcan"t,don"tgrieve,Rose。I"mnolosstoanyone,andperhapsitistoolatetomend。"

"Oh,don"tsaythat！Noonewillfindyourplaceamongus­wenevercanforgethowmuchwelovedyou,andyoumustbelievehowfreelyweforgiveaswewouldbeforgiven,"criedRose,steadiedbythepaledespairthathadfallenonCharlie"sfacewiththosebitterwords。

""Forgiveusourtrespasses！"Yes,Ishouldsaythat。Rose,I"mnotready,itissosudden。WhatcanIdo？"hewhispered,clingingtoherasifhehadnoanchorexceptthecreaturewhomhelovedsomuch。

"Unclewilltellyou­Iamnotgoodenough­Icanonlyprayforyou。"Andshemovedasiftocallinthehelpsosorelyneeded。

"No,no,notyet！Staybyme,darling­readsomethingthere,inGrandfather"soldbook,someprayerforsuchasI。Itwilldomemoregoodfromyouthananyministeralive。"

Shegotthevenerablebook­giventoCharliebecauseheborethegoodman"sname­and,turningtothe"PrayerfortheDying,"readitbrokenlywhilethevoicebesideherechoednowandthensomewordthatreprovedorcomforted。

"Thetestimonyofagoodconscience。""Bythesadnessofhiscountenancemayhisheartbemadebetter。""Christianpatienceandfortitude。""Leavetheworldinpeace。""Amen。"

Therewassilenceforalittle;thenRose,seeinghowwanhelooked,saidsoftly,"ShallIcallUnclenow？"

"Ifyouwill。Butfirst­don"tsmileatmyfoolishness,dear­I

wantmylittleheart。Theytookitoff­pleasegiveitbackandletmekeepitalways,"heansweredwiththeoldfondnessstrongasever,evenwhenhecouldshowitonlybyholdingfastthechildishtrinketwhichshefoundandhadgivenhim­theoldagateheartwiththefadedribbon。

"Putiton,andneverletthemtakeitoff,"hesaid,andwhensheaskediftherewasanythingelseshecoulddoforhim,hetriedtostretchouthisarmstoherwithalookwhichaskedformore。

Shekissedhimverytenderlyonlipsandforehead,triedtosay"good—bye,"

butcouldnotspeak,andgropedherwaytothedoor。Turningforalastlook,Charlie"shopefulspiritroseforamoment,asifanxioustosendherawaymorecheerful,andhesaidwithashadowoftheoldblithesmile,afeebleattemptatthefamiliarfarewellgesture:"Tilltomorrow,Rose。"

AlasforCharlie！Histomorrownevercame,andwhenshesawhimnext,helaytherelookingsosereneandnoble,itseemedasifitmustbewellwithhim,forallthepainwaspast;temptationended;doubtandfear,hopeandlove,couldnomorestirhisquietheart,andinsolemntruthhehadgonetomeethisFather,andbeginagain。Chapter16。Chapter16。16GOODWORKSTheRajahwasdelayedawhile,andwhenitsailedpoorMrs。Clarawasonboard,foreverythingwasready。Allthoughtshehadbettergotocomfortherhusband,andsinceherboydiedsheseemedtocareverylittlewhatbecameofher。So,withfriendstocheerthelongvoyage,shesailedaway,aheavyheartedwoman,yetnotquitedisconsolate,forsheknewhermourningwasexcessivelybecomingandfeltsurethatStephenwouldnotfindheralteredbyhertrialsasmuchasmighthavebeenexpected。

Thennothingwasleftofthatgayhouseholdbuttheemptyrooms,silenceneverbrokenbyablithevoiceanymore,andpicturesfullofpromise,butallunfinished,likepoorCharlie"slife。

TherewasmuchmourningforthebonnyPrince,butnoneedtotellofitexceptasitaffectedRose,foritiswithherwehavemosttodo,theothercharactersbeingofsecondaryimportance。

Whentimehadsoothedthefirstshockofsuddenloss,shewassurprisedtofindthememoryofhisfaultsandfailings,shortlifeandpiteousdeath,grewdim,asifakindlyhandhadwipedouttherecordandgivenhimbacktoherinthelikenessofthebrave,brightboyshehadloved,notasthewayward,passionateyoungmanwhohadlovedher。

Thiscomfortedherverymuch,andfoldingdownthelastblottedleafwherehisnamewaswritten,shegladlyturnedbacktoreopenandrereadthehappierchapterswhichpaintedtheyouthfulknightbeforehewentouttofallinhisfirstbattle。NoneofthebitternessoflovebereavedmarredthismemoryforRose,becauseshefoundthatthewarmersentiment,justbuddinginherheart,haddiedwithCharlieandlaycoldandquietinhisgrave。Shewondered,yetwasglad,thoughsometimesaremorsefulpangsmoteherwhenshediscoveredhowpossibleitwastogoonwithouthim,feelingalmostasifaburdenhadbeenliftedoff,sincehishappinesswastakenoutofherhands。Thetimehadnotyetcomewhentheknowledgethataman"sheartwasinherkeepingwouldmaketheprideandjoyofherlife,andwhileshewaitedforthatmomentsheenjoyedthelibertysheseemedtohaverecovered。

Suchbeingherinwardstate,itmuchannoyedhertoberegardedasabrokenheartedgirlandpitiedforthelossofheryounglover。Shecouldnotexplaintoalltheworld,soletitpass,andoccupiedhermindwiththegoodworkswhichalwaysliereadytobetakenupandcarriedon。Havingchosenphilanthropyasherprofession,shefeltthatitwashightimetobeginthetasktoolongneglected。

Herprojectswereexcellent,butdidnotprosperasrapidlyasshehoped,for,havingtodealwithpeople,notthings,unexpectedobstacleswereconstantlyarising。The"HomeforDecayedGentlewomen,"astheboysinsistedoncallinghertwonewlyrepairedhouses,startedfinelyanditwasapleasantsighttoseethecomfortableroomsfilledwithrespectablewomenbusyattheirvarioustasks,surroundedbythedecenciesandmanyofthecomfortswhichmakelifeendurable。But,presently,Rosewasdisturbedtofindthatthegoodpeopleexpectedhertotakecareoftheminawayshehadnotbargainedfor。Buffum,heragent,wasconstantlyreportingcomplaints,newwants,andgeneraldiscontentiftheywerenotattendedto。Thingswereveryneglected,waterpipesfrozeandburst,drainsgotoutoforder,yardswereinamess,andrentsbehind—hand。Worstofall,outsiders,insteadofsympathizing,onlylaughedandsaid,"Wetoldyouso,"whichisamostdiscouragingremarktoolderandwiserworkersthanRose。

UncleAlec,however,stoodbyherstaunchlyandhelpedheroutofmanyofherwoesbygoodadviceandanoccasionalvisitofinspection,whichdidmuchtoimpressuponthedwellerstherethefactthat,iftheydidnotdotheirpart,theirleaseswouldbeshortones。

"Ididn"texpecttomakeanythingoutofit,butIdidthinktheywouldbegrateful,"saidRoseononeoccasionwhenseveralcomplaintshadcomeinatonceandBuffumhadreportedgreatdifficultyincollectingthelowrents。

"Ifyoudothisthingforthesakeofthegratitude,thenitisafailure­butifitisdonefortheloveofhelpingthosewhoneedhelp,itisasuccess,forinspiteoftheirworryeveryoneofthesewomenfeelwhatprivilegestheyenjoyandvaluethemhighly,"saidDr。Alecastheywenthomeafteroneoftheseunsatisfactorycalls。

"Thentheleasttheycandoistosay"thankyou。"I"mafraidIhavethoughtmoreofthegratitudethanthework,butifthereisn"tany,I

mustmakeupmymindtogowithout,"answeredRose,feelingdefraudedofherdue。

"Favorsoftenseparateinsteadofattractingpeoplenearertooneanother,andI"veseenmanyafriendshipspoiltbytheobligationbeingallononeside。Can"texplainit,butitisso,andI"vecometotheconclusionthatitisashardtogiveintherightspiritasitistoreceive。Puzzleitout,mydear,whileyouarelearningtodogoodforitsownsake。"