第11章

Thereisnouse,letmesayhere,inaddressingtomelettersmarked"personal,""private,""confidential,"andsoforth,askingmehowI

cametoknowwhathappenedincertainconversationsofwhichIshallgiveapartialaccount。Ifthereisaverysensitivephonographlyingabouthereandthereinunsuspectedcorners,thatmightaccountforsomepartofmyrevelations。IfDelilah,whosehearingisofalmostsupernaturaldelicacy,reportstomewhatsheoverhears,itmightexplainapartofthemystery。IdonotwanttoaccuseDelilah,butayoungpersonwhoassuresmeshecanhearmywatchtickinginmypocket,whenIaminthenextroom,mightundoubtedlytellmanysecrets,ifsodisposed。NumberFiveisprettynearlyomniscient,andsheandIareonthebesttermswitheachother。

TheseareallthehintsIshallgiveyouatpresent。

TheTeacupsofwhomtheleasthasbeenheardatourtablearetheTutorandtheMusician。TheTutorisamodestyoungman,keptdownalittle,Ithink,bythepresenceofolderpersons,liketheProfessorandmyself。Ihavemethimseveraltimes,oflate,walkingwithdifferentladyTeacups:oncewiththeAmericanAnnex;twicewiththeEnglishAnnex;oncewiththetwoAnnexestogether;oncewithNumberFive。

IhavementionedthefactthattheTutorisapoetasamonghisclaimstoourattention。ImustaddthatIdonotthinkanytheworseofhimforexpressinghisemotionsandexperiencesinverse。

Forthoughrhymingisoftenabadsigninayoungman,especiallyifheisalreadyoutofhisteens,therearethosetowhomitisasnatural,onemightalmostsayasnecessary,asitistoayoungbirdtofly。Onedoesnotcaretoseebarnyardfowlstumblingaboutintryingtousetheirwings。Theyhaveapairofgood,stoutdrumsticks,andhadbetterkeeptothem,forthemostpart。Butthatfeelingdoesnotapplytoyoungeagles,oreventoyoungswallowsandsparrows。TheTutorisbynomeansoneofthoseignorant,silly,conceitedphrase—tinklers,wholiveonthemusicoftheirownjinglingsyllablesandtheflatteryoftheirfoolishfriends。I

thinkNumberFivemustappreciatehim。Heissincere,warmhearted,——

hispoetryshowsthat,——notinhastetobefamous,andhelookstomeasifheonlywantedlovetosteadyhim。Withoneofthosetwoyounggirlsheoughtcertainlytobecaptivated,ifheisnotalready。

TwicewalkingwiththeEnglishAnnex,Imethim,andtheyweresodeeplyabsorbedinconversationtheyhardlynoticedme。HehasbeentalkingoverthematterwithNumberFive,whoisjustthekindofpersonforaconfidante。

"IknowIfeelverylonely,"hewassaying,"andIonlywishIfeltsurethatIcouldmakeanotherpersonhappy。MylifewouldbetransfiguredifIcouldfindsuchaone,whomIcouldlovewellenoughtogivemylifetoher,——forher,ifthatwereneedful,andwhofeltanaffinityforme,ifanyonecould。"

"AndwhynotyourEnglishmaiden？"saidNumberFive。

"WhatmakesyouthinkIcaremoreforherthanforherAmericanfriend？"saidtheTutor。

"Why,haven"tImetyouwalkingwithher,anddidn"tyoubothseemgreatlyinterestedinthesubjectyouwerediscussing？Ithought,ofcourse,itwassomethingmoreorlesssentimentalthatyouweretalkingabout。"

"Iwasexplainingthat"encliticde"inBrowning"sGrammarian"sFuneral。Idon"tthinktherewasanythingverysentimentalaboutthat。Sheisaninquisitivecreature,thatEnglishgirl。Sheisveryfondofaskingmequestions,——infact,bothofthemare。Thereisonecuriousdifferencebetweenthem:theEnglishgirlsettlesdownintoheranswersandisquiet;theAmericangirlisneversatisfiedwithyesterday"sconclusions;sheisalwaysreopeningoldquestionsinthelightofsomenewfactorsomenovelidea。IsupposethatpeoplebredfromchildhoodtoleantheirbacksagainstthewalloftheCreedandthechurchcatechismfindithardtositupstraightontherepublicanstool,whichobligesthemtostiffentheirownbacks。

Whichofthesetwogirlswouldbethesafestchoiceforayoungman？

IshouldreallyliketohearwhatansweryonwouldmakeifI

consultedyouseriously,withaviewtomyownchoice,——onthesuppositionthattherewasafairchancethateitherofthemmightbewon。"

"Theoneyouareinlovewith,"answeredNumberFive。

"Butwhatifitwereacaseof"HowhappycouldIbewitheither"？

Whichoffersthebestchanceofhappiness,——amarriagebetweentwopersonsofthesamecountry,oramarriagewhereoneofthepartiesisofforeignbirth？Everythingelsebeingequal,whichisbestforanAmericantomarry,anAmericanoranEnglishgirl？Weneednotconfinethequestiontothosetwoyoungpersons,butputitmoregenerally。"

"Therearereasonsonbothsides,"answeredNumberFive。"IhaveoftentalkedthismatteroverwithTheDictator。Thisisthewayhespeaksaboutit。Englishbloodisapttotellwellonthestockuponwhichitisengrafted。Overandoveragainhehasnoticedfinelygrownspecimensofhumanbeings,andoninquiryhasfoundthatoneorbothoftheparentsorgrandparentswereofBritishorigin。Thechancesarethatthedescendantsoftheimportedstockwillbeofaricherorganization,moreflorid,moremuscular,withmellowervoices,thanthenativewhosebloodhasbeenunmingledwiththatofnewemigrantssincetheearliercolonialtimes。——SotalksTheDictator。——ImyselfthinktheAmericanwillfindhisEnglishwifeconcentratesherselfmorereadilyandmoreexclusivelyonherhusband,——fortheobviousreasonthatsheisobligedtolivemainlyinhim。Irememberhearinganoldfriendofmyearlydayssay,"Awomandoesnotbeartransplanting。"Itdoesnotdototrusttheseoldsayings,andyettheyalmostalwayshavesomefoundationintheexperienceofmankind,whichhasrepeatedthemfromgenerationtogeneration。Happyisthemarriedwomanofforeignbirthwhocansaytoherhusband,asAndromachesaidtoHector,afterenumeratingallthedearrelativesshehadlost,"Yetwhilemyhectorstillsurvives,IseeMyfather,mother,brethren,allinthee！"

Howmanyasorrowingwife,exiledfromhernativecountry,dreamsofthemothersheshallseenomore！Howmanyawidow,inastrangeland,wishesthatherpoor,worn—outbodycouldbelaidamongherkinsfolk,inthelittlechurchyardwheresheusedtogatherdaisiesinherchildhood！Ittakesagreatdealoflovetokeepdownthe°

climbingsorrow"thatswellsupinawoman"sthroatwhensuchmemoriesseizeuponher,inhermomentsofdesolation。Butifaforeign—bornwomandoeswillinglygiveupallforaman,andneverlooksbackward,likeLot"swife,sheisaprizethatitisworthrunningarisktogain,——thatis,ifshehasthemakingofagoodwomaninher;andafewyearswillgofartowardsnaturalizingher。"

TheTutorlistenedtoNumberFivewithmuchapparentinterest。"Andnow,"hesaid,"whatdoyouthinkofhercompanion？"

"Acharminggirlforamanofaquiet,easytemperament。Thegreattroubleiswithhervoice。Itispitchedafullnotetoohigh。Itisaggressive,disturbing,andwouldwearoutanervousmanwithouthiseverknowingwhatwasthematterwithhim。AgoodmanycrazyNorthernpeoplewouldrecovertheirreasoniftheycouldliveforayearortwoamongtheblacksoftheSouthernStates。Butthepenetrating,perturbingqualityofthevoicesofmanyofourNorthernwomenhasagreatdealtoanswerforinthewayofdeterminingloveandfriendship。Yourememberthatdearfriendofourswholeftusnotlongsince？Ifthereweremorevoiceslikehers,theworldwouldbeadifferentplacetolivein。Idonotbelieveanymanorwomanevercamewithintherangeofthosesweet,tranquiltoneswithoutbeinghushed,captivated,entrancedImightalmostsay,bytheircalming,soothinginfluence。Canyounotimaginethetonesinwhichthosewords,"Peace,bestill,"werespoken？Suchwastheeffectofthevoicetowhichbutafewweeksagowewerelistening。Itishardtobelievethatithasdiedoutofhumanconsciousness。Cansuchavoicebesparedfromthatworldofhappinesstowhichwefondlylookforward,wherewelovetodream,ifwedonotbelievewithassuredconviction,thatwhateverisloveliestinthisourmortalconditionshallbewithusagainasanundyingpossession？YourEnglishfriendhasaveryagreeablevoice,round,mellow,cheery,andherarticulationischarming。Otherthingsbeingequal,Ithinkyou,whoare,perhaps,oversensitive,wouldlivefromtwotothreeyearslongerwithherthanwiththeother。Isupposeamanwholivedwithinhearingofamurmuringbrookwouldfindhislifeshortenedifasawmillweresetupwithinearshotofhisdwelling。"

"AndsoyouadvisemetomakelovetotheEnglishgirl,doyou？"

askedtheTutor。

NumberFivelaughed。Itwasnotaloudlaugh,sheneverlaughednoisily;itwasnotaveryheartylaugh;theideadidnotseemtoamusehermuch。

"No,"shesaid,"Iwon"ttaketheresponsibility。PerhapsthisisacaseinwhichthetruereadingofGay"slinewouldbeHowhappycouldIbewithneither。

ThereareseveralyoungwomenintheworldbesidesourtwoAnnexes。"

IquestionwhethertheTutorhadaskedthosequestionsveryseriously,andIdoubtifNumberFivethoughthewasverymuchinearnest。

OneofTheTeacupsremindedmethatIhadpromisedtosaysomethingofmyanswerstocertainquestions。SoIbeganatonce:

Ihavegiventhenameofbrain—tapperstotheliteraryoperativeswhoaddresspersonswhosenamesarewellknowntothepublic,askingtheiropinionsortheirexperiencesonsubjectswhichareatthetimeofgeneralinterest。Theyexpectaliterarymanorascientificexperttofurnishthemmaterialsforsymposiaandsimilararticles,tobeusedbythemfortheirownspecialpurposes。Sometimestheyexpecttopayfortheinformationfurnishedthem;atothertimes,thehonorofbeingincludedinalistofnotedpersonageswhohavereceivedsimilarrequestsisthoughtsufficientcompensation。Theobjectwithwhichthebrain—tapperputshisquestionsmaybeapurelybenevolentandentirelydisinterestedone。SuchwastheobjectofsomeofthosequestionswhichIhavereceivedandanswered。Thereareothercases,inwhichthebrain—tapperisactingmuchasthosepersonsdowhostopaphysicianinthestreettotalkwithhimabouttheirliversorstomachs,orotherinternalarrangements,insteadofgoingtohisofficeandconsultinghim,expectingtopayforhisadvice。Othersaremorelikethosebusywomenwho,havingthegenerousintentionofmakingahandsomepresenttotheirpastor,ataslittleexpenseasmaybe,sendtoalltheirneighborsandacquaintancesforscrapsofvariousmaterials,outofwhichtheimposing"bedspread"orcounterpaneistobeelaborated。

Thatisallverywellsolongasoldpiecesofstuffarealltheycallfor,butitisadifferentmattertoaskforclippingsoutofnewanduncutrollsofcloth。Soitisonethingtoaskanauthorforlibertytouseextractsfromhispublishedwritings,anditisaverydifferentthingtoexpecthimtowriteexpresslyfortheeditor"sorcompiler"spieceofliterarypatchwork。

Ihavereceivedmanyquestionswithinthelastyearortwo,someofwhichIamwillingtoanswer,butprefertoansweratmyowntime,inmyownway,throughmycustomarychannelofcommunicationwiththepublic。IhopeIshallnotbemisunderstoodasimplyinganyreproachagainsttheinquirerswho,inordertogetatfactswhichoughttobeknown,applytoallwhomtheycanreachforinformation。Theirinquisitivenessisnotalwaysagreeableorwelcome,butweoughttobegladthattherearemousingfact—hunterstoworryuswithqueriestowhich,forthesakeofthepublic,weareboundtogiveourattention。Letmebeginwithmybrain—tappers。

Andfirst,asthepapershavegivenpublicitytothefactthatI,TheDictatorofthistea—table,havereachedtheageofthreescoreyearsandtwenty,IamrequestedtogiveinformationastohowImanagedtodoit,andtoexplainjusthowtheycangoanddolikewise。IthinkIcanlaydownafewrulesthatwillhelpthemtothedesiredresult。

Thereisnocertaintyinthesebiologicalproblems,buttherearereasonableprobabilitiesuponwhichitissafetoact。

Thefirstthingtobedoneis,someyearsbeforebirth,toadvertiseforacoupleofparentsbothbelongingtolong—livedfamilies。

Especiallyletthemothercomeofaraceinwhichoctogenariansandnonagenariansareverycommonphenomena。Therearepracticaldifficultiesinfollowingoutthissuggestion,butpossiblytheforethoughtofyourprogenitors,orthatconcurrenceofcircumstanceswhichwecallaccident,mayhavearrangedthisforyou。

Donotthinkthatarobustorganizationisanywarrantoflonglife,northatafrailandslightbodilyconstitutionnecessarilymeansscantylengthofdays。Manyastrong—limbedyoungmanandmanyabloomingyoungwomanhaveIseenfailinganddroppingawayinorbeforemiddlelife,andmanyadelicateandslightlyconstitutedpersonoutlivingtheathletesandthebeautiesoftheirgeneration。

Whethertheexcessivedevelopmentofthemuscularsystemiscompatiblewiththebestconditionofgeneralhealthis,Ithink,morethandoubtful。Themusclesaregreatspongesthatsuckupandmakeuseoflargequantitiesofblood,andtheotherorgansmustbeliabletosufferforwantoftheirshare。

OneoftheSevenWiseMenofGreeceboiledhiswisdomdownintotwowords,——NOTHINGTOOMUCH。Itisarulewhichwillapplytofood,exercise,labor,sleep,and,inshort,toeverypartoflife。Thisisnotsoverydifficultamatterifonebeginsingoodseasonandformsregularhabits。ButwhatifIshouldlaydowntherule,Becheerful;takeallthetroublesandtrialsoflifewithperfectequanimityandasmilingcountenance？Admirabledirections！Yourfriend,thecurly—hairedblonde,withfloridcomplexion,roundcheeks,thebestpossibledigestionandrespiration,thestomachofanostrichandthelungsofapearl—diver,findsitperfectlyeasytocarrythemintopractice。You,ofleadencomplexion,withblackandlankhair,lean,hollow—eyed,dyspeptic,nervous,finditnotsoeasytobealwayshilariousandhappy。Thetruthisthatthepersonsofthatbuoyantdispositionwhichcomesalwaysheraldedbyasmile,asayachtdrivenbyafavoringbreezecarriesawreathofsparklingfoambeforeher,arebornwiththeirhappinessreadymade。Theycannothelpbeingcheerfulanymorethantheirsaturninefellow—mortalcanhelpseeingeverythingthroughthecloudhecarrieswithhim。Igiveyoutheprecept,then,Becheerful,forjustwhatitisworth,asI

wouldrecommendtoyoutobesixfeet,oratleastfivefeetten,instature。Youcannotsettlethatmatterforyourself,butyoucanstandupstraight,andgiveyourfivefeetfiveits——fullvalue。

Youcanhelpalongalittlebywearinghigh—heeledshoes。Soyoucandosomethingtoencourageyourselfinserenityofaspectanddemeanor,keepingyourinfirmitiesandtroublesinthebackgroundinsteadofmakingthemthestapleofyourconversation。Thispieceofadvice,iffollowed,maybeworthfromthreetofiveyearsofthefourscorewhichyouhopetoattain。

If,ontheotherhand,insteadofgoingaboutcheerilyinsociety,makingthebestofeverythingandasfaraspossibleforgettingyourtroubles,youcanmakeupyourmindtoeconomizeallyourstoresofvitalenergy,tohoardyourlifeasamiserhoardshismoney,youwillstandafairchanceoflivinguntilyouaretiredoflife,——

fortunateifeverybodyisnottiredofyou。

Oneofmyprescriptionsforlongevitymaystartleyousomewhat。Itisthis:Becomethesubjectofamortaldisease。Lethalfadozendoctorsthumpyou,andkneadyou,andtestyouineverypossibleway,andrendertheirverdictthatyouhaveaninternalcomplaint;theydon"tknowexactlywhatitis,butitwillcertainlykillyoubyandby。Thenbidfarewelltotheworldandshutyourselfupforaninvalid。Ifyouarethreescoreyearsoldwhenyoubeginthismodeoflife,youmayveryprobablylasttwentyyears,andthereyouare,——anoctogenarian。Inthemeantime,yourfriendsoutsidehavebeendroppingoff,oneafteranother,untilyoufindyourselfalmostalone,nursingyourmortalcomplaintasifitwereyourbaby,huggingitandkeptalivebyit,——iftoexististolive。Whohasnotseencaseslikethis,——amanorawomanshuttinghimselforherselfup,visitedbyadoctororasuccessionofdoctors（Irememberthatonce,inmyearlierexperience,Iwasthetwenty—seventhphysicianwhohadbeenconsulted）,alwaystakingmedicine,untileverybodywasremindedofthatimpatientspeechofarelativeofoneoftheseinvalidvampireswholiveonthebloodoftired—outattendants,"Idowishshewouldgetwell——orsomething"？Personswhoareshutupinthatway,confinedtotheirchambers,sometimestotheirbeds,haveaverysmallamountofvitalexpenditure,andwearoutverylittleoftheirlivingsubstance。Theyarelikelampswithhalftheirwickspickeddown,andwillcontinuetoburnwhenotherlampshaveusedupalltheiroil。Aninsuranceofficemightmakemoneybytakingnorisksexceptonlivesofpersonssufferingfrommortaldisease。ItisonthisprincipleofeconomizingthepowersoflifethataveryeminentAmericanphysician,——Dr。WeirMitchell,amanofgenius,——hasfoundedhistreatmentofcertaincasesofnervousexhaustion。

WhathaveIgottosayabouttemperance,theuseofanimalfood,andsoforth？Thesearequestionsaskedme。Naturehasprovedawiseteacher,asIthink,inmyowncase。TheolderIgrow,thelessuseImakeofalcoholicstimulants。Infact,Ihardlymeddlewiththematall,exceptaglassortwoofchampagneoccasionally。Ifindthatbyfarthebestborneofalldrinkscontainingalcohol。Idonotsupposemyexperiencecanbethefoundationofauniversalrule。Dr。

Holyoke,wholivedtobeahundred,usedhabitually,inmoderatequantities,amixtureofcider,water,andrum。Ithink,asonegrowsolder,lessfood,especiallylessanimalfood,isrequired。

Butoldpeoplehavearighttobeepicures,iftheycanaffordit。

Thepleasuresofthepalateareamongthelastgratificationsofthesensesallowedthem。Webeginlifeaslittlecannibals,——feedingonthefleshandbloodofourmothers。Werangethroughallthevegetableandanimalproducts,ofnature,andIsuppose,ifthesecondchildhoodcouldreturntothefoodofthefirst,itmightproveawholesomediet。

WhatdoIsaytosmoking？Icannotgrudgeanoldmanhispipe,butI

thinktobaccooftendoesagooddealofharmtothehealth,——totheeyesespecially,tothenervoussystemgenerally,producingheadache,palpitation,andtrembling。Imyselfgaveitupmanyyearsago。

Philosophicallyspeaking,Ithinkself—narcotizationandself—

alcoholizationareratherignoblesubstitutesforundisturbedself—

consciousnessandunfetteredself—control。

Hereisanotherofthosebrain—tappingletters,ofsimilarcharacter,whichIhavenoobjectiontoansweringatmyowntimeandintheplacewhichbestsuitsme。Asthequestionsmustbesupposedtobeaskedwithapurelyscientificandphilanthropicpurpose,itcanmakelittledifferencewhenandwheretheyareanswered。Formyself,I

preferourowntea—tabletothesymposiatowhichIamofteninvited。

Idonotquarrelwiththosewhoinvitetheirfriendstoabanquettowhichmanystrangersareexpectedtocontribute。Itisaveryeasyandpleasantwayofgivinganentertainmentatlittlecostandwithnoresponsibility。Somebodyhasbeenwritingtomeabout"OatmealandLiterature,"andsomebodyelsewantstoknowwhetherIhavefoundcharacterinfluencedbydiet;alsowhether,inmyopinion,oatmealispreferabletopieasanAmericannationalfood。

Inanswertothesequestions,IshouldsaythatIhavemybeliefsandprejudices;butifIwerepressedhardformyproofsoftheircorrectness,Ishouldmakebutapoorshowinthewitness—box。MostassuredlyIdobelievethatbodyandmindaremuchinfluencedbythekindoffoodhabituallydependedupon。Iampersuadedthatatooexclusivelyporcinedietgivesabristlycharactertothebeardandhair,whichisborrowedfromtheanimalwhosetissuesthesestiff—

beardedcompatriotsofourshavetoolargelyassimilated。Icanneverstrayamongthevillagepeopleofourwindycapeswithoutnowandthencominguponahumanbeingwholooksasifhehadbeensplit,salted,anddried,likethesalt—fishwhichhasbuiltuphisaridorganism。Ifthebodyismodifiedbythefoodwhichnourishesit,themindandcharacterverycertainlywillbemodifiedbyitalso。

Weknowenoughoftheircloseconnectionwitheachothertobesureofthat,withoutanystatisticalobservationstoproveit。

Doyoureallywanttoknow"whetheroatmealispreferabletopieasanAmericannationalfood"？IsupposethebestanswerIcangivetoyourquestionistotellyouwhatismyownpractice。Oatmealinthemorning,asanarchitectlaysabedofconcretetoformabaseforhissuperstructure。PiewhenIcangetit;thatis,ofthegenuinesort,forIamnotpatrioticenoughtothinkveryhighlyofthearticlenamedaftertheFatherofhisCountry,whowasfirstinwar,firstinpeace,——notfirstinpies,accordingtomystandard。

Thereisaveryoddprejudiceagainstpieasanarticleofdiet。Itiscommontoheareveryformofbodilydegeneracyandinfirmityattributedtothisparticularfavoritefood。Iseenoreasonorsenseinit。Mr。Emersonbelievedinpie,andwasalmostindignantwhenafellow—travellerrefusedthesliceheofferedhim。"Why,Mr。________,"saidbe,"whatispiemadefor！"IfeveryGreenMountainboyhasnoteatenathousandtimeshisweightinapple,pumpkin,squash,andmincepie,callmeadumpling。AndColonelEthanAllenwasoneofthem,——EthanAllen,who,astheyusedtosay,couldwrenchofftheheadofawroughtnailwithhisteeth。

Ifyoumeantokeepaswellaspossible,thelessyouthinkaboutyourhealththebetter。Youknowenoughnottoeatordrinkwhatyouhavefounddoesnotagreewithyou。Yououghttoknowenoughnottoexposeyourselfneedlesslytodraughts。Ifyoutakea"constitutional,"walkwiththewindwhenyoucan,andtakeaclosedcaragainstitifyoucangetone。Walkingagainstthewindisoneofthemostdangerouskindsofexposure,ifyouaresensitivetocold。ButexceptafewsimplerulessuchasIhavejustgiven,letyourhealthtakecareofitselfsolongasitbehavesdecently。Ifyouwanttobesurenottoreachthreescoreandtwenty,getalittleboxofhomoeopathicpelletsandalittlebookofhomeopathicprescriptions。Ihadapoorfriendwhofellintothatway,andbecameatlastaregularHahnemaniac。Heleftaboxofhislittlejokers,whichatlastcameintomyhands。Thepoorfellowhadcultivatedsymptomsasotherpeoplecultivaterosesorchrysanthemums。Whataluxuryofchoicehisimaginationpresentedtohim！Whenonewatchesforsymptoms,everyorganinthebodyisreadytoputinitsclaim。Byandbyarealillnessattackedhim,andtheboxoflittlepelletswasshutup,toministertohisfanciedevilsnolonger。

Letmetellyouonething。IthinkifpatientsandphysicianswereinthehabitofrecognizingthefactIamgoingtomention,bothwouldbegainers。ThelawIrefertomustbefamiliartoallobservingphysicians,andtoallintelligentpersonswhohaveobservedtheirownbodilyandmentalconditions。Thisisthecurveofhealth。Itisamistaketosupposethatthenormalstateofhealthisrepresentedbyastraighthorizontalline。Independentlyofthewell—knowncauseswhichraiseordepressthestandardofvitality,thereseemstobe,——IthinkImayventuretosaythereis,——arhythmicundulationintheflowofthevitalforce。The"dynamo"

whichfurnishestheworkingpowersofconsciousnessandactionhasitsannual,itsmonthly,itsdiurnalwaves,evenitsmomentaryripples,inthecurrentitfurnishes。Therearegreaterandlessercurvesinthemovementofeveryday"slife,——aseriesofascendinganddescendingmovements,aperiodicitydependingontheverynatureoftheforceatworkinthelivingorganism。Thuswehaveourgoodseasonsandourbadseasons,ourgooddaysandourbaddays,lifeclimbinganddescendinginlongorshortundulations,whichIhavecalledthecurveofhealth。

>Fromthisfactspringagreatproportionoftheerrorsofmedicalpractice。Onitarebasedthedelusionsofthevariousshadowysystemswhichimposethemselvesontheignorantandhalf—learnedpublicasbranchesor"schools"ofscience。Aremedytakenatthetimeoftheascentinthecurveofhealthisfoundsuccessful。Thesameremedytakenwhilethecurveisinitsdownwardmovementprovesafailure。

Solongasthisbiologicallawexists,solongthecharlatanwillkeephisholdontheignorantpublic。Solongasitexists,thewisestpractitionerwillbeliabletodeceivehimselfabouttheeffectofwhathecallsandlovestothinkarehisremedies。Long—

continuedandsagaciousobservationwilltosomeextentundeceivehim;butwereitnotforthehappyillusionthathisuselessorevendeleteriousdrugsweredoinggoodservice,manyapractitionerwouldgiveuphiscallingforoneinwhichhecouldbemorecertainthathewasreallybeingusefultothesubjectsofhisprofessionaldealings。

Formyself,Ishouldpreferaphysicianofasanguinetemperament,whohadafirmbeliefinhimselfandhismethods。Idonotwonderatallthatthepublicsupportawholecommunityofpretenderswhoshowtheportraitsofthepatientstheyhave"cured。"Thebestphysicianswilltellyouthat,thoughmanypatientsgetwellundertheirtreatment,theyrarelycureanybody。Ifyouaretoldalsothatthebestphysicianhasmanymorepatientsdieonhishandsthantheworstofhisfellow—practitioners,youmayaddthesetwostatementstoyourbundleofparadoxes,andiftheypuzzleyouIwillexplainthematsomefuturetime。

[Itakethisopportunityofcorrectingastatementnowgoingtheroundsofthemedicalandprobablyotherperiodicals。In"TheJournaloftheAmericanMedicalAssociation,"datedApril26,1890,publishedatChicago,Iamreported,inquotationmarks,assaying,"Givemeopium,wine,andmilk,andIwillcurealldiseasestowhichfleshisheir。"

Inthefirstplace,IneversaidIwillcure,orcancure,orwouldorcouldcure,orhadcuredanydisease。Myveneratedinstructor,Dr。JamesJackson,taughtmenevertousethatexpression。Curomeans,Itakecareof,heusedtosay,andinthatsense,ifyoumeannothingmore,itisproperlyemployed。So,intheamphitheatreoftheEcoledeMedecine,IusedtoreadthewordsofAmbroisePare,Jelepansay,Dieuleguarist。"（Idressedhiswound,andGodcuredhim。）Next,Iamnotinthehabitoftalkingabout"thediseasestowhichfleshisheir。"Theexpressionhasbecomerathertoofamiliarforrepetition,andbelongstotherhetoricofotherlatitudes。And,lastly,Ihavesaidsomeplainthings,perhapssomesharpones,abouttheabuseofdrugsandthelimitednumberofvitallyimportantremedies,butIamnotsoignorantlypresumptuousastomakethefoolishstatementfalselyattributedtome。]