第7章

Theeconomistsandcalculatorsmighthereinterposewithagreatdealofreason;for，indeed，therewasnoreasonwhyanationshouldimpoverishitselftodohonortothememoryofanindividualforwhom，afterall，itcanfeelbutaqualifiedenthusiasm:butitsurelymighthaveemployedthelargesumvotedforthepurposemorewiselyandgenerously，andrecordeditsrespectforNapoleonbysomeworthyandlastingmemorial，ratherthanhaveerectedyonderthousandvainheapsoftinsel，paint，andplaster，thatarealreadycrackingandcrumblinginthefrost，atthreedaysold。

Scarcelyoneofthestatues，indeed，deservestolastamonth:someareodiousdistortionsandcaricatures，whichnevershouldhavebeenallowedtostandforamoment。Ontheverydayofthefete，thewindwasshakingthecanvaspedestals，andtheflimsywood—workhadbeguntogapeandgiveway。Atalittledistance，tobesure，youcouldnotseethecracks;andpedestalsandstatuesLOOKEDlikemarble。Atsomedistance，youcouldnottellbutthatthewreathsandeaglesweregoldembroidery，andnotgiltpaper——thegreattricolorflagsdamask，andnotstripedcalico。Onewouldthinkthattheseshamsplendorsbetokenedshamrespect，ifonehadnotknownthatthenameofNapoleonisheldinrealreverence，andobservedsomewhatofthecharacterofthenation。Realfeelingstheyhave，buttheydistortthembyexaggeration;realcourage，whichtheyrenderludicrousbyintolerablebraggadocio;andIthinktheaboveofficialaccountofthePrincedeJoinville"sproceedings，ofthemannerinwhichtheEmperor"sremainshavebeentreatedintheirvoyagetothecapital，andofthepreparationsmadetoreceivehiminit，willgivemydearMissSmithsomemeansofunderstandingthesocialandmoralconditionofthisworthypeopleofFrance。

III。

ONTHEFUNERALCEREMONY。

ShallItellyou，mydear，thatwhenFrancoiswokemeataveryearlyhouronthiseventfulmorning，whilethekeenstarswerestillglitteringoverhead，ahalf—moon，assharpasarazor，beaminginthefrostysky，andawickednorthwindblowing，thatblewthebloodoutofone"sfingersandfrozeyourlegasyouputitoutofbed;——

shallItellyou，mydear，thatwhenFrancoiscalledme，andsaid，"V"lavot"cafe，MonsieurTitemasse，buvez—le，tiens，ilesttoutchaud，"Ifeltmyself，afterimbibingthehotbreakfast，socomfortableunderthreeblanketsandamackintosh，thatforatleastaquarterofanhournomaninEuropecouldsaywhetherTitmarshwouldorwouldnotbepresentattheburialoftheEmperorNapoleon。

Besides，mydear，thecold，therewasanotherreasonfordoubting。

DidtheFrenchnation，ordidtheynot，intendtoofferupsomeofusEnglishovertheimperialgrave？Andwerethegamestobeconcludedbyamassacre？ItwassaidinthenewspapersthatLordGranvillehaddespatchedcircularstoalltheEnglishresidentinParis，beggingthemtokeeptheirhomes。TheFrenchjournalsannouncedthisnews，andwarneduscharitablyofthefateintendedforus。HadLordGranvillewritten？Certainlynottome。OrhadhewrittentoallEXCEPTME？AndwasITHEVICTIM——thedoomedone？——

tobeseizeddirectlyIshowedmyfaceintheChampsElysees，andtorninpiecesbyFrenchPatriotismtothefranticchorusofthe"Marseillaise？"Dependonit，Madam，thathighandlowinthiscityonTuesdaywerenotaltogetherattheirease，andthatthebravestfeltnosmalltremor！Andbesureofthis，thatashisMajestyLouisPhilippetookhisnightcapoffhisroyalheadthatmorning，heprayedheartilythathemight，atnight，putitoninsafety。

Well，asmycompanionandIcameoutofdoors，beingboundfortheChurchoftheInvalides，forwhichaDeputyhadkindlyfurnisheduswithtickets，wesawtheveryprettiestsightofthewholeday，andIcan"trefrainfrommentioningittomydear，tender—heartedMissSmith。

InthesamehousewhereIlive（butaboutfivestoriesnearertheground）lodgesanEnglishfamily，consistingof——1。Agreat—

grandmother，ahale，handsomeoldladyofseventy，theverybest—

dressedandneatestoldladyinParis。2。Agrandfatherandgrandmother，tolerablyyoungtobearthattitle。3。Adaughter。

And4。Twolittlegreat—grand，orgrandchildren，thatmaybeoftheageofthreeandone，andbelongtoasonanddaughterwhoareinIndia。Thegrandfather，whoisasproudofhiswifeashewasthirtyyearsagowhenhemarried，andpayshercomplimentsstilltwiceorthriceinaday，andwhenheleadsherintoaroomlooksroundatthepersonsassembled，andsaysinhisheart，"Here，gentlemen，hereismywife——showmesuchanotherwomaninEngland，"——

thisgentlemanhadhiredaroomontheChampsElysees，forhewouldnothavehiswifecatchcoldbyexposinghertothebalconiesintheopenair。

WhenIcametothestreet，Ifoundthefamilyassembledinthefollowingorderofmarch:——

——No。1，thegreat—grandmotherwalkingdaintilyalong，supportedbyNo。3，hergranddaughter。

——AnursecarryingNo。4junior，whowassoundasleep:andahugebasketcontainingsaucepans，bottlesofmilk，parcelsofinfants"

food，certaindimitynapkins，achild"scoral，andalittlehorsebelongingtoNo。4senior。

——Aservantbearingabasketofcondiments。

——No。2，grandfather，spickandspan，cleanshaved，hatbrushed，whitebuckskingloves，bamboocane，browngreat—coat，walkingasuprightandsolemnasmaybe，havinghisladyonhisarm。

——No。4，senior，withmottledlegsandatartancostume，whowasfriskingaboutbetweenhisgrandpapa"slegs，whoheartilywishedhimathome。

"Mydear，"hisfaceseemedtosaytohislady，"Ithinkyoumighthaveleftthelittlethingsinthenursery，forweshallhavetosqueezethroughaterriblecrowdintheChampsElysees。"

Theladywasgoingoutforaday"spleasure，andherfacewasfullofcare:shehadtolookfirstafterheroldmotherwhowaswalkingahead，thenafterNo。4juniorwiththenurse——hemightfallintoallsortsofdanger，wakeup，cry，catchcold;nursemightslipdown，orheavenknowswhat。Thenshehadtolookherhusbandintheface，whohadgonetosuchexpenseandbeensokindforhersake，andmakethatgentlemanbelieveshewasthoroughlyhappy;and，finally，shehadtokeepaneyeuponNo。4senior，who，asshewasperfectlycertain，wasaboutintwominutestobelostforever，ortrampledtopiecesinthecrowd。

TheseeventstookplaceinaquietlittlestreetleadingintotheChampsElysees，theentryofwhichwehadalmostreachedbythistime。Thefourdetachmentsabovedescribed，whichhadbeenstragglingalittleintheirpassagedownthestreet，closedupattheendofit，andstoodforamomenthuddledtogether。No。3，MissX——，beganspeakingtohercompanionthegreat—grandmother。

"Hush，mydear，"saidthatoldlady，lookingroundalarmedatherdaughter。"SPEAKFRENCH。"Andshestraightwaybegannervouslytomakeaspeechwhichshesupposedtobeinthatlanguage，butwhichwasasmuchlikeFrenchasIroquois。Thewholesecretwasout:youcouldreaditinthegrandmother"sface，whowasdoingallshecouldtokeepfromcrying，andlookedasfrightenedasshedaredtolook。

ThetwoelderladieshadsettledbetweenthemthattherewasgoingtobeageneralEnglishslaughterthatday，andhadbroughtthechildrenwiththem，sothattheymightallbemurderedincompany。

Godblessyou，Owomen，moist—eyedandtender—hearted！Inthosegentlesillytearsofyoursthereissomethingtouchesone，betheyneversofoolish。Idon"tthinkthereweremanysuchnaturaldropsshedthatdayasthosewhichjustmadetheirappearanceinthegrandmother"seyes，andthenwentbackagainasiftheyhadbeenashamedofthemselves，whilethegoodladyandherlittletroopwalkedacrosstheroad。Thinkhowhappyshewillbewhennightcomes，andtherehasbeennomurderofEnglish，andthebroodisallnestledunderherwingssoundasleep，andsheislyingawakethankingGodthatthedayanditspleasuresandpainsareover。

Whilstwewereconsideringthesethings，thegrandfatherhadsuddenlyelevatedNo。4senioruponhisleftshoulder，andIsawthetartanhatofthatyounggentleman，andthebamboocanewhichhadbeentransferredtohim，highovertheheadsofthecrowdontheoppositesidethroughwhichthepartymoved。

Afterthislittleprocessionhadpassedaway——youmaylaughatit，butuponmywordandconscience，MissSmith，Isawnothinginthecourseofthedaywhichaffectedmemore——afterthislittleprocessionhadpassedaway，theothercame，accompaniedbygun—