第1章
Therearetwokindsofclocks。Thereistheclockthatisalwayswrong，andthatknowsitiswrong，andgloriesinit；andthereistheclockthatisalwaysright——exceptwhenyourelyuponit，andthenitismorewrongthanyouwouldthinkaclock_could_beinacivilizedcountry。
Irememberaclockofthislattertype，thatwehadinthehousewhenIwasaboy，routingusallupatthreeo"clockonewinter"smorning。
Wehadfinishedbreakfastattenminutestofour，andIgottoschoolalittleafterfive，andsatdownonthestepoutsideandcried，becauseIthoughttheworldhadcometoanend；everythingwassodeath-like！
Themanwhocanliveinthesamehousewithoneoftheseclocks，andnotendangerhischanceofheavenaboutonceamonthbystandingupandtellingitwhathethinksofit，iseitheradangerousrivaltothatoldestablishedfirm，Job，orelsehedoesnotknowenoughbadlanguagetomakeitworthhiswhiletostartsayinganythingatall。
Thegreatdreamofitslifeistolureyouonintotryingtocatchatrainbyit。Forweeksandweeksitwillkeepthemostperfecttime。
Iftherewereanydifferenceintimebetweenthatclockandthesun，youwouldbeconvinceditwasthesun，nottheclock，thatwantedseeingto。Youfeelthatifthatclockhappenedtogetaquarterofasecondfast，ortheeighthofaninstantslow，itwouldbreakitsheartanddie。
Itisinthisspiritofchild-likefaithinitsintegritythat，onemorning，yougatheryourfamilyaroundyouinthepassage，kissyourchildren，andafterwardwipeyourjammymouth，pokeyourfingerinthebaby"seye，promisenottoforgettoorderthecoals，waveatlastfondadieuwiththeumbrella，anddepartfortherailway-station。
Ineverhavebeenquiteabletodecide，myself，whichisthemoreirritatingtoruntwomilesatthetopofyourspeed，andthentofind，whenyoureachthestation，thatyouarethree-quartersofanhourtooearly；ortostrollalongleisurelythewholeway，anddawdleaboutoutsidethebooking-office，talkingtosomelocalidiot，andthentoswaggercarelesslyontotheplatform，justintimetoseethetraingoout！
Asfortheotherclassofclocks——thecommonoralways-wrongclocks——theyareharmlessenough。Youwindthemupattheproperintervals，andonceortwiceaweekyouputthemrightand"regulate"
them，asyoucallit（andyoumightjustaswelltryto"regulate"aLondontom-cat）。Butyoudoallthis，notfromanyselfishmotives，butfromasenseofdutytotheclockitself。Youwanttofeelthat，whatevermayhappen，youhavedonetherightthingbyit，andthatnoblamecanattachtoyou。
Sofaraslookingtoitforanyreturnisconcerned，thatyouneverdreamofdoing，andconsequentlyyouarenotdisappointed。Youaskwhatthetimeis，andthegirlreplies：
"Well，theclockinthedining-roomsaysaquarterpasttwo。"
Butyouarenotdeceivedbythis。Youknowthat，asamatteroffact，itmustbesomewherebetweennineandtenintheevening；and，rememberingthatyounoticed，asacuriouscircumstance，thattheclockwasonlyfortyminutespastfour，hoursago，youmildlyadmireitsenergiesandresources，andwonderhowitdoesit。
Imyselfpossessaclockthatforcomplicatedunconventionalityandlight-heartedindependence，could，Ishouldthink，givepointstoanythingyetdiscoveredinthechronometricalline。Asameretime-piece，itleavesmuchtobedesired；but，consideredasaself-actingconundrum，itisfullofinterestandvariety。
Iheardofamanoncewhohadaclockthatheusedtosaywasofnogoodtoanyoneexcepthimself，becausehewastheonlymanwhounderstoodit。Hesaiditwasanexcellentclock，andonethatyoucouldthoroughlydependupon；butyouwantedtoknowit——tohavestudieditssystem。Anoutsidermightbeeasilymisledbyit。
"Forinstance，"hewouldsay，"whenitstrikesfifteen，andthehandspointtotwentyminutespasteleven，Iknowitisaquartertoeight。"
Hisacquaintanceshipwiththatclockmustcertainlyhavegivenhimanadvantageoverthecursoryobserver！
Butthegreatcharmaboutmyclockisitsreliableuncertainty。Itworksonnomethodwhatever；itisapureemotionalist。Onedayitwillbequitefrolicsome，andgainthreehoursinthecourseofthemorning，andthinknothingofit；andthenextdayitwillwishitweredead，andbehardlyabletodragitselfalong，andlosetwohoursoutofeveryfour，andstopaltogetherintheafternoon，toomiserabletodoanything；andthen，gettingcheerfuloncemoretowardevening，willstartoffagainofitsownaccord。
Idonotcaretotalkmuchaboutthisclock；becausewhenItellthesimpletruthconcerningit，peoplethinkIamexaggerating。
Itisverydiscouragingtofind，whenyouarestrainingeverynervetotellthetruth，thatpeopledonotbelieveyou，andfancythatyouareexaggerating。Itmakesyoufeelinclinedtogoandexaggerateonpurpose，justtoshowthemthedifference。IknowIoftenfeeltemptedtodosomyself——itismyearlytrainingthatsavesme。
Weshouldalwaysbeverycarefulnevertogivewaytoexaggeration；itisahabitthatgrowsuponone。
Anditissuchavulgarhabit，too。Intheoldtimes，whenpoetsanddry-goodssalesmenweretheonlypeoplewhoexaggerated，therewassomethingcleverand_distingue_aboutareputationfor"atendencytoover，ratherthantounder-estimatethemerebaldfacts。"Buteverybodyexaggeratesnowadays。Theartofexaggerationisnolongerregardedasan"extra"inthemodernbillofeducation；itisanessentialrequirement，heldtobemostneedfulforthebattleoflife。
Thewholeworldexaggerates。Itexaggerateseverything，fromtheyearlynumberofbicyclessoldtotheyearlynumberofheathensconverted——intothehopeofsalvationandmorewhiskey。Exaggerationisthebasisofourtrade，thefallow-fieldofourartandliterature，thegroundworkofoursociallife，thefoundationofourpoliticalexistence。Asschoolboys，weexaggerateourfightsandourmarksandourfathers"debts。Asmen，weexaggerateourwares，weexaggerateourfeelings，weexaggerateourincomes——excepttothetax-collector，andtohimweexaggerateour"outgoings"；weexaggerateourvirtues；
weevenexaggerateourvices，and，beinginrealitythemildestofmen，pretendwearedare-devilscamps。
Wehavesunksolownowthatwetryto_act_ourexaggerations，andtoliveuptoourlies。Wecallit"keepingupappearances；"andnomorebitterphrasecould，perhaps，havebeeninventedtodescribeourchildishfolly。
Ifwepossessahundredpoundsayear，dowenotcallittwo？Ourlardermaybelowandourgratesbechill，butwearehappyifthe"world"（sixacquaintancesandapryingneighbor）givesuscreditforonehundredandfifty。And，whenwehavefivehundred，wetalkofathousand，andtheall-importantandbeloved"world"（sixteenfriendsnow，andtwoofthemcarriage-folks！）agreethatwereallymustbespendingsevenhundred，oratallevents，runningintodebtuptothatfigure；butthebutcherandbaker，whohavegoneintothematterwiththehousemaid，knowbetter。
Afterawhile，havinglearnedthetrick，welaunchoutboldlyandspendlikeIndianPrinces——orrather_seem_tospend；forweknow，bythistime，howtopurchasetheseemingwiththeseeming，howtobuytheappearanceofwealthwiththeappearanceofcash。Andthedearoldworld——Beelzebubblessit！foritishisownchild，sureenough；thereisnomistakingthelikeness，ithasallhisfunnylittleways——gathersround，applaudingandlaughingatthelie，andsharinginthecheat，andgloatingoverthethoughtoftheblowthatitknowsmustsoonerorlaterfallonusfromtheThor-likehammerofTruth。
Andallgoesmerryasawitches"frolic——untilthegraymorningdawns。
Truthandfactareold-fashionedandout-of-date，myfriends，fitonlyforthedullandvulgartoliveby。Appearance，notreality，iswhatthecleverdoggraspsatinthesecleverdays。Wespurnthedull-brownsolidearth；webuildourlivesandhomesinthefair-seemingrainbow-landofshadowandchimera。