第8章
"""Themcontoomeliousremarkstothelady，"hesaystomygrandfather，"lowersyouinmyesteemalot。An"whilethewayyoubreaksupthatsetteewiththeRoarin"Wolverinegoessometowardsreestablishin"you，stillIshallnotlookonyouasthegentI
takesyoufor，ontilyouseeksthisyereinjuredfemalean"
crawfishesonthatp"isen-takin"bluff。"
""Somygrandfathergoesoutondeckwheretheladyisstillsobbin"
an"hangin"onthecaptain"sneckliketheloopofarope，an"
apol"gizes。Thentheladytakesabrace，acceptsthemcontritions，an"putsitupforherpartthatshecanseemygrandfather"sashore-enoughgentan"asonofchivalry；an"withthattheriotwindsupplumbpleasantall"round。"
""IfImaycomeromancin"inyere，"saysDocPeets，sorto"breakin"
intotheplayatthisp"int，"withainterruption，IwantstosaythatIregyardsthisasaveryprettynarratif，an"requeststhedrinksoncttotheColonel"sgrandfather。"Wedrinksaccordin"，an"
theColonelresoomes。
""MygrandfathercomesbackfromthisyereexpeditiondowntheOhioamostvoylentJacksonman。An"he"strootohisfaithasaadherenttoJacksonthroughtimeswhentheClayfolksgetsthatintemp"ratetheyhunts"emwithdogs。Theoldgentwaswont，asIsu"gests，toregalemychildishy"earswiththestoryofwhathesuffers，Hetellshowhegoespirootin"offamongthefarmersinthebackcounties；sleepin"onhuskbeds，tillthebed-ropescutsplumbthroughan"marksoutachecker-boardonhisframethatwouldstayformonths。Oncehe"ssleepin"inaloft，an"allofasuddenaboutdaybreaktheoldgenthearsasquallthatmightynearlocoeshim，it"ssoclostan"turrible。Heboilsoutontheflooran"beginstoclawonhisduds，allowin"，bein"he"sonlyhalfawakethata-way，thatit"sapasselofthemmurderin"ClayWhigswho"scometocrawlhishumpforshore。Butshe"safalsealarm。It"sonlyaDom"nickroosterwho"sbeenperchedallnightonmygrandfather"swristwherehisarmsticksoutenbed，an"who"sdonecrowedawholelot，asishishabitwhenheglintsthecomin"day。It"sthemsorto"thingsthatsendsashudderthroughyou，an"showswhatthatoldpatriotsuffersforhisfaith。
""Butmygrandfatherkeepsonprevailin"alonginthemviewsontilhejestconquershiscountyan"carriesherforJackson。Shore!hehastroubleatthepolls，an"troubleintheconventions。Buthepersists；an"he"sthatdomineerin"an"dogmatictheyatlastnotonlygiveshimhisway，butcomesrackin"alongwithhim。Inthelastconvention，henacherallyherdsthingsintoacorner，an"
thar"sonlyfortyvotesag"inhimatthefinish。Mygrandfatherallerssayswhenrelatin"ofittomelongafterwards:
"""An"grandsonWillyum，fivegallonsmoreofrumwouldhavemadethatconventionyoonanimous。
""Butwhathe"pstheoldgentmosttowardsthelast，isaj"intdebatehehaswithSpenceWitherspoon，whichbeginswithreecrim"nationsan"windsupwiththeguns。Also，itleavesthisyereaggravatin"Witherspoonlessawholelot。
"""Wasn"tyou-allfornullification，an"ain"tyounowforJacksonan"theunion？"asksthisyereinsultin"Witherspoon。"Didn"tyoumakeaCalhounspeechoveronMinkRuntwoyearsago，an"ain"tyouatthisbarbecue，to-day，consoomin"burgooan"shoutin"forOldHickory？"
"""Whatyou-allstatesistroo，"saysmygrandfather。"Butmypartyturns，an"Iturnswithit。You-allcan"tloseJackSterett。Hecanturnsoquicktheheelsofhismoccasinswillbeinfront。"
"""Whichthemtalentsofyoursforchange，"saysWitherspoon，"remindsmeapowerfullotofthestoryofhowJedgeChinngivesBillHatfield，theblacksmith，thatBerkshiresuckin"pig。
""An"whateveristhatstory？"asksmygrandfather，beginnin"toloosenhisbowie-knifeinitssheath。
"""Takeyourpawsoffthatoldbutcherofyour"n，"returnsthispesterin"Witherspoon，"an"I"lltellthestory。Butyou"vegottoquittriflin"withthat"leven-inchknifeontilI"mplumbthrough，orI"llfoolyouupalotan"jestwon"ttellit。"
""Tharuponmygrandfathertakeshishandoffentheknife-haft，an"
Witherspoonbranchesforth:
"""WhenIrecallshowthisoncompromisin"outlaw，"p"intin"tomygrandfather，"talksforCalhounan"nullificationoveronMinkRun，an"todayisyereshoutin"inarum-soddenwayfortheunionan"
AndyJackson，asIobservesyeretofore，itshoreremindsmeofthestoryofhowJedgeChinngiveBillHatfieldthatBerkshireshoat。
"Sendoveroneofyourniggerswithabasketan"lethimgetone，Bill，"saysJedgeChinn，who"sbeentellin"Hatfieldaboutthepigs。
Neytday，Billmountshisniggerboy，Dick，onamule，withabasketonhisarm，an"DicklinesoutforJedgeChinn"sfortofetchawaythatlittlehawg。Dickputshiminthebasket，climbsontohismule，an"goesteeterin"outforhome。Onthewayback，DickstopsatHickman"stavern。Whilehe"spourin"inagillofcornjooce，awagwho"spresentsubtractsthepigan"putsinoneofoldHickman"sblackNoofoundlandpups。WhenDickgetshometoBillHatfield"s，Billtakesonelookatthepup，breaksthebigrasponDick"shead，throwstheforehammerathim，an"bidshimgobacktoJedgeChinnan"tellhimthathe，Bill，willsallyoverthefirstdulldayan"
p"isenhiscattlean"burnhisbarns。Dicktakesthebasketfullofdogonhisarm，an"goesp"intin"forJedgeChinn。Nacherally，DickstopsatHickman"stavernsoastomollifyhisfeelin"swiththatred-eye。Thisyerewaggetsinag"inontheplay，subtractsthepupan"restoresthelittlehawgawholelot。WhenDickgetstoJedgeChinn，heonfoldstotheJedgetouchin"themtransformationsfrompigtopup。"Pshaw!"saystheJedge，who"soneofthempos"tivesharpsthatnoghosttalesisgoin"toshake；"pshaw!BillHatfield"sgettin"tobealoonatic。ItellshimthelasttimeIhasmyhossshodthatifhekeepsonpourin"downthatHickmanwhiskey，he"llshorelydie，an"beginbydyin"atthetop。TheseyereilloosionsofhisshowsIdrivesthecenter。"ThentheJedgeoncoversthebasketan"turnsoutthelittlehawg。WhenniggerDickseeshim，hefallsonhisknees。"I"machu"chmember，MarseJedge，"
saysDick，"an"you-allbelieveswhatIsays。Thatanamile"sconjured，Jedge。Iseeshimyerean"Iseeshimthar；an"，Jedge，he"seitherpigorpup，whicheverwayhelikes。"
"""An"，ladiesan"gents，"concloodesthisWitherspoon，makin"aincriminatin"gestureso"stoincloodemygrandfatherthata-way；
"whenIreflectsonthisonblushin"turncoat，JackSterett，asI
statesprior，itmakesmethinkofhowJedgeChinnlavishesthatBerkshireshoatonblacksmithBillHatfield。Confessin"thataforetimehe"sanullificationpigonMinkRun，hesetsyereatthisbarbecuean"withoutcolorofshamedeclar"shimse"faunionpup。
MisterCha"rman，allIcansayis，itshorebeatssquinchowls!"
""Asthestoryisfinished，thetroocewhichbindsmygrandfatherends，an"hepullshisbowie-knifean"chasesthisWitherspoonfromtherostrum。He"dhadhisdetractor"sskelprightthar，butthecha"rmanan"otherleadin"speritsinterferes，an"insistsonthemresentmentsofmygrandfather"sfindin"theusualchannelintheirexpression。Witherspoon，who"sgotonanewblanketcoat，allowshewon"tfightnonewithknivesastheycutsan"sp"ilesyourclothes；
hesaysheprefersriflesan"fiftypacesforhis。Mygrandfather，who"stheeasiestgenttogetalongwithinmattersofmeredetail，isagree"ble；an"asneitherhimnorWitherspoonhasbroughttheirweepons，thetwovicepres"dents，who"sgoin"toactasseconds——thepres"dentbymootualconsentdealin"thegameasreferee——rummagesaboutair"borrysabraceofLooeyvilleriflesfrommembersoftheBlackB"arGleeClub——they"rethebarytonean"tenor——an"mygrandfatheran"thescandal-mongerin"Witherspoonisstoodup。
"""Gents，"saysthepres"dent，"thewordswillbe，"Fire-one-two-
three-stop。"It"sincumbentonyou-alltoblazeawayanywherebetweenthewords"Fire"an""Stop"。Mypartin"injunctionsis，"Mayheavendefendtheright，"an"beshorean"seeyourhindsightsasyouonhooksyourguns。"
""Attheword，mygrandfatheran"Witherspoonrespondspromptan"
gay。Witherspoonovershoots，whilemygrandfatherplantshisleadinamongWitherspoon"sidees，an"thatracontoorquitsKaintuckyfortheotherworldwithoutamurmur。
"""Iregyardsthiseventasavict"ryforJacksonan"principle，"
saysmygrandfather，ashe"scalledontoproceedwithhisoration，"an"I"dliketosayinthatconnection，ifHenryClaywillcounthisspoonswhenhenextcomessneakin"homefromWashin"ton，he"llfindhe"sshortSpenceWitherspoon。""
""Yourgrandfather"satroohumorist，"saysTexasThompson，asColonelSterettpausesinthemrecitalsofhistoreachthebottle；
"Ilooksonthatlastwitticismofhisasplumbapt。"
""Mygrandfather，"resoomesColonelSterett，afterbein"refreshed，"isasfulloffunasmoney-musk，an"whenthataudiencegetsontothejokeinitscompleteness，themerrimentiswideanyooniversal。
It"sthehitofthebarbecue；an"inthisway，littlebylittle，mygrandfatherwinshisneighborstohisbeliefs，ontilhe"sgotthecommoonityallstretchedan"hawgtied，an"brandshertriumphantforGen"ralJackson。"
""An"doesyourownpapfollowinthefootprintsofhisoldgent，asaconvincin"an"determinedstatesmanthata-way？"asksDocPeets。
"No，"saysColonelSterett，"myownpersonalparentsimmersdownawholelotcomparedtomygrandfather。Hedon"ttakehispol"ticssomuchtoheart；hisdemocracyain"tsovirulentan"don"tstrikein。
Hisonlyfirmstandonquestionsofstate，asIrelatestheotherday，iswhenheinsistsonbein"nootraldoorin"thelatewar。I
explainshowhetalksfederalan"thinksreb，an"manages，thata-
way，topromoteadecentaverage。
""Hisnootrality，however，don"tincloodethefam"lynone。MybrotherJeff——an"Ineverbeholdsahaughtiersperit-goessquanderin"offwithMorganatthefirstbooglecall，"""ThatraidofMorgan"s，"saysEnright，hiseyebrightenin"，"isplumbfullofdashan"fire。"""Shore，"saystheColonel，"plumbfullofdashan"
fire。ButJefftellsmeofitlater，footbyfoot，fromthetimetheycrossestheriverintoInjeanny，tilltheycomessquatterin"
acrossatBlennerhasset"sIslandintoKaintuckyag"in，all"Isadly，thoughfrankly，admitsitlookslikeitpossessessomeelementsofachicken-stealin"expeditionalso。Jeffsaysheneverseessomanyfolkssincere，an"withtheirmindsmadeup，ashimall"Morganan"
therestoftheBlooGrasschivalryencountersoilthatcroosade。
Thar"sanuprisin"ofthepeasantry，Jeffsays，whereevertheygoes；
an"thenclodspursoocsJeffan"theothers，fromstarttofinish，withhoesan"rakesan"mattocksan"clothes-polesan"puddin"-
sticksan"otherbarbarousan"obsoletearms，an"neverletsupontilJeffan"Morganall"theirgallantcomradesisag"insafeinthearmsoftheirKaintuckybrethren。
Theirstayinanygivenspotistroolybrief。
ThattownofCincinnatimakesupabundleofmoneybigenoughtochokeacowtogive"emasaransom；butJeffan"Morganneverdohearofitforyears。Theygoesbysoplumbswifttheydon"tgetnotice；an"theyfadesawayinthedistancesofasttheykeepsaheadofthenews。However，theygetsbacktoKaintuckysafean"coveredwithdustan"gloryinevenparts；an"asforJeffspeshul，astheharvestofhisvalor，hereportshimse"ftheownerofaone-sixthinterestinasleighwhichhiman"fiveofhisindomitablecompanionshasdonedrugacrosstheriverontheirreturn。Buttheydon"tlingeroverthistrophy；dootycalls"em，sotheystoresthesleighinabarnan"ridesawaytofurtherhonors。
""WeneverdohearofJeffnoneallthroughthatwarbutonce。Afterhe"sj"inedStonewallJackson，Irecallshowhesendshomesixhundreddollarsinconfed"ratemoneywithalettertomyfather。Itrunslikethis:
IncampwithStonewallJackson。
RespectedSir:
Theslavewhobearsthiswillgiveyoufrommeatreasureofsixhundreddollars。Idesirethatyoupaythetavernandwhatevercreditorsofmineyoufind。Toowedebtsdoesnotcomportwiththehonorofacavalier，andIproposetosilenceallbaseclamorsonthathead。Iremain，mostveneratedsir，Yourstocommand，JeffersonSterett。
""That"sthelastwe-allhearsofmysens"tivean"high-speritedbrotherontilafterMisterLeesurrenders。It"sonemornin"whenJeffcomeshome，an"themannerofhisreturnshorelydisplayshisnobilityofsoul，thata-way，asondiscouragedan"ondimmed。Noone"slookin"forJeffpartic"lar，whenIhearsasteamboatwhistleforourlandin"。I，bein"asIamfulloftheontamedcur"osityofyooth，goescurvin"outtoseewhat"sup。Ihearsthepilotgivetheengineerthebellstosetherback。onthesta"boardwheel，an"thenonboth。Theboatcomesdriftin"in。Astagin"isletdown，anwiththetreadofaconquerorwhoshouldcomeashorebutmybrotherJeff!
Thar"snothin"inhishands；heain"tgotnothin"withhimthatheain"twearin"。An"allhehasonisaoldwoolhat，ahick"ryshirt，graytrousers，an"apairofcopper-rivetshoesasredasabayhoss。Ashestrikesthebank，Jeffturnsan"sweepsthescenewiththeeyeofaeagle。Thentakin"abogussilverwatchoutenhispocket，hew"irlsheroverhisheadbytheleatherstringan"letshergooutintotheriver，ker-chunk!
"""WhichIentersintothisyererebellion，"saysJeff，flashin"aproud，highglanceonmewhereIstandswonderin"，"withoutnothin"，an"Iproposestoreturnwithhonorontarnished，an"asporeasI
goesin。"
""Asmean"Jeffreepairsuptothehouse，Inotesthemostrenegade-lookin"niggerfollowin"behind。
"""Whoever"sdisyerenigger？"Iasks。
"""He"smyvalet，"saysJeff。
""Myarm"saheaptooslight，"goesonColonelSterett，followin"asmalllibation，"tostrikeablowfortheconfed"racy，butmysoulisshorelyinthecause。Idoestrytoj"ine，final，an"isonlysavedtharfrom，an"fromwhatwould，ondoubted，havebeenmycertaindeath，byarebgen"ralnamedWheeler。Hedon"tmeantodoit；she"sinadvertentsofarashe"sconcerned；buthesavesmejestthesame。
An"settin"yereasIbe，enjoyin"thefriendshipan"esteemofyou-
allcitizensofWolfville，Ifeelsmorean"morethedebtofgratitoodeIowesthatgallantofficeran"man。"
""HoweverdoesthisGen"ralWheelersaveyou？"asksDanBoggs。
"WhichI"mshoreeagertohear。"
""Thetaleissimple，"respondstheColonel，"an"it"satribootetothatbravecommanderwhichI"mallersreadytopay。It"sinthemiddleyearsofthewar，an"I"mgoin"toschoolinavillagewhichliesbackfromtheriver，an"isabouttwentymilesfrommyancestralhome。Thar"sastockadeintheplacewhichsomeinvadin"
Yankshasbuilt，an"thar"sabouttwentyof"eminside，sorto"
givin"orderstothevillagean"makin"itspatrioticinhabitantseithermarchormarktime，whicheverchancestobetheirYankeecaprices。
""AsatrooSouthernyooth，whofeelsforhisstrugglin"country，I
loathesthemYankeestothelimit，an"hasnomoreusefor"emthanHugginshasforatemp"rancelecturer。
""Onedayatroopofrebcavalryjumpsintothevillage，an"
stampedestheseyereinvadersplumboffthescene。Wegetsthenewsuptotheschool，an"adjournsinabunchtocomedowntownan"
cel"bratethesuccessoftheSouthernarms。AsIarrivesatthefieldofcarnage，arebcavalrymanisswingin"outenthesaddle。Hethrowsthebridleofhishosstome。
"""Seeyere，Bud，"hesays，"holdmyhossaminutewhileIseesifIcan"tburnthisstockade。"
""Istandstharwhiletherebfussesawaywithsomepinesplintersan"lightwood，strugglin"toinaug"rateaholycaust。Hecan"tmakethelandin"；themtimbersistoogreen，thata-way。
""WhileI"mstandin"thar，lendin"myse"ftothisyereconflagratoryenterprise，Ihappenstocastmyeyesoveronthehillsamilebackfromthevillage，an"I"mshockedawholelottoobservethememinencesan"summitsisbloowithYankeescomin"。NowI"mamightycarefulboy，an"Idon"tallownonetoletaragin"clanjamfreyofthemLincolnhirelingscaperuponmewhileI"mholdin"arebboss。
SoIcallstothisyereincendiarytrooperwherehe"sblowin"an"
experimentin"an"stillfailin"withthemflames。
"""Secesh!"Ishouts；"oh，you-allsecesh!You"damightysightbettercomegetyourhoss，orthemYankswho"sbulgin"alongoveryonder"llspreadyourhideonthefence。"
""ThisrebtakesalookattheYanks，an"thencomesan"getshishoss。Ashegathersupthebridlereinan"swingsintothesaddle，amadthirsttofight，diean"bleedformycountryseizesme，an"I
grabsthereb"shossbythebitsan"detainshim。
"""Say，Mister，"Ipleads，"whycan"tyou-alltakemewithyou？"
"""Whichyou"realottooyoung，son，"saysthereb，takin"anothersize-upoftheYanks。
"""Iain"tsoyoungasIlooks，"Iargues；"I"mjestsmallofmyage。"
"""Now，Ireckonsthat"sso，"saysthereb，beamin"onmeapprovin"，"an"you"relikewisemightypeart。ButI"lltellyou，Bud，youain"tgotnohoss。"
"""That"snothin"，"Iresponds；"whichifyou-allwillonlygetmeagun，Icanstealahoss，thata-way，inthefirstmile。"
""Seein"mesoreadywiththemargyments，an"sodeadpertinacioustogo，thisyeretrooperbeginstoactoneasy，likehisresolootiongetsshooksome。Atlasthegriddshisteethtogetherlikehismind"smadeup。
"""Lookyere，boy，"hesays，"doyouknowwhoourGen"ralis？"
"""No，"Isays，"Idon"t。"
"""Well，"saysthereb，asheshoveshisfeetdeepinthestirrups，an"settlesinhissaddlelikehe"sgoin"tomakesometime；"well，he"saragin"an"onfetteredmaverick，namedWheeler；an"fromthewayhegoesskallyhootin""round，he"sgoin"togetusallkilledorcapturedbeforeeverwegetsback，an"Idon"twantnochil"enonmyhands。"""Withthatthisyeresoldieryanksthebridleoutenmygrasp，clapsthesteelintohishoss"sflanks，an"leavesmelikeabulletfromagun。Formypart，Istandstharsaved；saved，asI
says，bythatGen"ralWheeler"srepootationwithhismen。""
CHAPTERXVII。
OldManEnright"sLove。
"Son，I"mgettin"plumbalarmedaboutmyse"f，"observedtheOldCattleman，aswedrewtogetherforourusualtalk。"I"vebeensorto"cog"tatin"tharof，an"IbeginstoallowI"mamightysighttoogarrulousthata-way。Thisyereconversationhabitisshoregrowin"
onme，an"，ifIdon"twatchout，I"mgoin"tobeabiggertalkerthanoldVanceGroggins，"
"WasGrogginsagreatconversationist？"Iasked。
"DoesthisyereVanceGrogginsconverse？WhichIwishIhasstoredbyapintoflickerforeverythin"Vancesays!ItwouldbealongspellbeforeeverI"mdriventogoransackin""roundtofindoneofthemlife-savin"stations，calledbycommonconsent，a"s"loon!"
ThisVancedon"tdonothin"buttalk；he"sgotthatmuchtosay，itgetsinhisway。Vancecomesmightyclosttogettin"aheaptheworstofitoncemerelyonaccountofthempowersofcommoonication。
"Yousee，thisyereVanceisabroke-downsport，an"isdealin"
faro-bankforJessJenkinsoverontheCanadian。An"Vancejestcan"tresisttakin"partineveryconversationthat"sstarted。Lettwogentsacrossthelayoutgotoexchangin"views，orswappin"
observations，an"youcangamblethatVancecomesjimmin"alongin。
An"Vanceisallerstellin"abouthisbrotherAbe。Doesagentmentionthathebrandseighthundredcalvesthatspringround-up，VancecutsinwiththebluffthathisbrotherAbebrandstwelvehundred；doesasportsu"gestthatheseesapartywinfourthousanddollarsag"inmonteorrouletteorfaroorsomesechamoosement，VancegetstharpromptwithsomeranikaboorelationsofatimewhenhisbrotherAbegoesag"instWhiteyBobatWichita，makesakillin"
ofoversixtythousanddollars，an"breaksthebank。
""MybrotherAbe，"saysthisyerescand"lousVancethata-way，"jestnacherallywinsthekyarpetsoffWhiteyBob"sfloor。"
"Son，it"ssimpleegreegiousthewaythisVancecarriesoninthemfoolrev"lationstouchin"hisbrotherAbe。
"Itgetsso，final，thatapasselofsportslodgescomplaintswithJenkins。"What"stheuse!"saysthemmaddenedsportstoJenkins。
"ThisVancedon"tdealfaro-bank；hejestdon"tdonothin"buttalk。
Tharwesets，ourbetsonthelayout，an"wedon"tgetnoaction。
ThisVancewon"tdealakyardforfearwedon"thearaboutthatbrotherAbeGrogginsofhis"n。"
"ThemcriticismsmakesJenkinsplentyquer"lous。HeroundsVanceupan"currieshimawholelot。ThenhetellsVancetopullhisfreight；hedon"twanthimtodealfaro-bankforhimnomore。
"Atthis，Vanceturnsplumbpiteous，an"asksJenkinsnottothrowhimloose，thata-way。An"hepromisestore-organizean"alterhissystem。"Iknowsmyfailin"s，"saysVanceaheapmournful。"Youdon"thavetocome"roundtauntin"mewith"em；I"mdeadonto"emmyse"f。I"mtoofrankan"I"mtoosociable；I"mtoopronetoregalemyfellowgentswithleafsfrommyexperience；an"Irealize，aswellasyoudo，Jenk，it"swrong。Shorely，I"venorighttostopinthemiddleofadealtotellastoryan"forcethehopesan"fears，nottosaythefortunes，ofahalf-dozenintensesports，an"someof"emintheholeatthat，towaittillIgetsthrough!Iknowitain"tright，Jenk；butIpromisesyou，ifyou"llletmegobehindtheboxag"into-night，onthehonorofakyardsharp，you-allwillneverhearayelpoutenmefromsodatohock。An"that"swhatever!"
""Itain"tnotalonethatyoutalksforever，"remonstratesJenkins；
"butit"sthemfrightfulliesyoutells。Whichthey"reenoughtoonsettleagent"splay，tosaynothin"ofrunnin"thereskofraisin"ahoodooan"queerin"mybank。ButItriesyouoncemore，Vance；onlygetitstraight:Soshoreaseveryoutakestoonloadin"
onthecompanyoneofthemexaggerationsaboutthatfelonAbe，I
won"tsay"Go，"I"lljestonlimberan"burnthemoccasinsoffyouwithmygun。"
"It"sthatverynight；Vancehasbeendealin"thegameformightylikelyit"sthreehours，an"noonegetsaverbalriseoutenhimmore"nifhe"sagravenimage。Vanceisgettin"proudofhimse"f，an"Jenkins，whocomesprowlin""roundthegameattimes，beginstoreckonmebbyVance"lldo。AllgoeswellontilapartyletsflysomehyperboleaboutatavernhestrikesinLittleRock，whichforsizean"extensifcharacteristicslaysoveranythin"onearthlikeasummer"scloud。
""Youthinksso？"saysVance，stoppin"thedeal，an"leanin"aelbowonthebox，whilehegoesprojectin"towardsthecountenanceoftheLittleRockpartywiththeforefingerofhisotherhand，kindo"
claimin"hisattention。"Youthinksso!Iallowsnowyou-allreckonsthatforahotel，thisyereLittleRockedificeistheoldhe-coon!
Letmetellyousomethin":MybrotherAbegoesouttooneofthembathin"camps，sweptbyoceanbreezes，onthePacificslope，an"youshouldshorelyoughterbeholdthejointheslamsup!Pards，thar"smorethantwothousandroomsinthatwickeyup!It"s"levenhundredan"twelvefoothigh，fourthousandtwohundredan"fifty-fourfootlong，an"——"It"shereporeVancecatchesJenkins"eyeglarin"onhimhardan"remorseless——"an"twentyfootwide，"saysVance，aheaphurried，dashin"thekyardsoutenthebox。"Fivelose，jackwin，"
concloodesVanceconfoosedly，makin"ahastychangeofsubjects。
"Yes，indeed!"andtheoldgentlemanlookedthoughtfullyacrossthelawnashewounduphistaleoftheunfortunateGroggins，"Yes，indeedIfIkeepsontalkin"away，I"llbecomealaughin"-stock，sameasthatlocoedVance!Thar"sonematterthatallersimbuesmewithaheapofrespectfordeefan"dumbfolks；whichtheyshorelydokeepthingstothemse"fsawholelot。"
ItwasfifteenminutesbeforeIcouldconvincemyfriendthathisWolfvillestoriesinnosortdiminishedhisdignity。Also，I
remindedhimofapromisetoonedaytellmeofEnright"soneaffairoflove；plainlyhisbondinthatshouldbefulfilled。Atlasthegaveway，andaftercommandingthecomingofafavoriteandhighlyrefreshingbeverage，heldforthasfollows:
"It"sneverbeenmybeliefs，"hesaid，"thatSamEnrightwouldhavedippedintothemoldloveconcernsofhisifhe"dbeenhimse"f。
Enright"ssickatthetime。Shore!heain"tsicktothep"intofbein"downinhisblankets，an"isstillmeanderin""roundthecampasdootydictatesorhisinterestcalls，buthe"splentyailin"jestthesame。Thar"stheroodimentsofadispootebetweenDocPeetsan"
Enrightastowhyhishealththattimeisboggin"down。Peetsputsitupit"saover-accoomulationofalkali；Enrightallowsit"sbecausehe"sbornsolongago。Peetshashisway，however，bein"ascientistthata-way，an"takespossessionofthecase。
"No，itain"tthemmaladiesthatsoweakensEnrighthelapsesintoconfidencesabouthisearlylove；butyousee，son，Peetsstopshisnose-paint；won"tlethimdrinksomuchasadrop；an"bein"cutoffshortonnourishmentlikeIsays，itmakesEnright——atleastsoI
allersfiggers——somechildishan"light-headed。That"sright；youremovethatgoodoldValleyTanfromthemenuofapartywho"sbeenadherin"an"referrin"toityearafteryearformightylikelyallhisdays，an"itsorto"takesthestiffenin"outenhisdignityalot；hebeginstoonbendan"waxeasyan"confidenshul。Isseemsthenlikehegoesaboutcravin"countenancean"support。An"downondermybelt，itstrikesmeatthetime，an"itshorestrikesmeyet，thatravishin"thecanteenfromEnright，nacherallyenfeebleshiman"setshimtotalkin"antellin"ofpastdays。Oh，hedon"tkeepupthisyereonhealthfulabstinenceforever。Peetsdeclar"sEnrightremovedfromdanger，an"askshimtodrink，himse"f，insideoftwoweeks。
""Whereagent，"saysPeets，elab"ratin"thisyeretheeryofnotdrinkin"none，"hasbeencrookin"hiselbowconstant，an"thengoeswrong，bodily，it"sagreatplaytostophisnose-paintabrupt。It"sashocktohim，sameasaextraaceinapokerdeck；an"whenagent"isill，shocksiswhatheneeds。"
""Butletmesaveyaboutthis，"saysDanBoggs，who"sallersaheapinquis"tivean"searchin"afterknowledge；"doyou-allimposethisonwontedsobrietyasapenalty，ordoyoumaketheplaymeedic"nal？"
Meedic"nal，"saysPeets。"Inextremecases，sobrietyisplentycooratif。"
"DoesEnrightbowtoDocPeets"demandsaboutnowhiskeythata-way？
Son，Peetsisplumbinex"rableaboutthempreescriptionsofhis。Helooksonthemildestargymentag"in"emaspersonalaffronts。Peetsisthemostimmov"blesharp，medical，thateverIcrossesupwith；
an"whenitcomestothempreescriptions，therecklessestsportinArizonalaysdownhishand。
"OnceIknowsPeetstopassonthefailin"conditionofatenderfootwho"sbunkedinan"allowshe"lldiealotovertotheO。K。
Restauraw。Peetsdecidesthisyereshorthornneedsabstinencefromlicker。Peetsbreaksthenewstotheonhappyvictim，an"putshimonwatertillthecrisisshallbepast。Also，PeetsnotifiedtheRedLightnottoheedanyrequestsofthispartyinrespectstosaidnose-paint。
"Itturnsoutthissickperson，bonin"forlickerasisplumbnacheral，forgetshimse"fasagentan"sorto"reckonshe"llgetfraudulentwithPeets。Hefiggershe"lljestcomeInjunin"intotheRedLight，quilhimse"faboutafewdrinkssurreptitious，an"thengotrackin"backtohisblankets，an"DocPeetsnonethewiser。So，likeIsays，thisyereillpersonfrontssoftlyuptotheRedLightbaran"callsforValleyTan。
"BlackJack，thebarkeep，don"tknowthispartyfromacross-L
steer；hegetsthemmandatesfromPeets，butitneverdoesstrikeBlackJackthatthisyereisthedyin"sportalloodedto。Indarknessthata-way，BlackJacktossesaglassonthebaran"shovesthebottle。Itshorelookslikethatfailin"shorthornisgoin"toquitwinner，themrecooperatifs。
"But，son，he"sinterrupted。He"sfilledhisglass——an"he"sbeenplentyfreeaboutit——an"standstharwiththebottleinhishand，whentwogunsbark，an"onebulletsmashestheglassan"theotherthebottlewherethispersonisholdin"it。No，thisartillerypracticedon"tstampedemenone；I"mplumbawareit"sDocPeets"
derringersfromthego-off。Peetsstandsinthedoor，oneofhislittlepup-gunsineachhand。
""WhichIlikesyouraplomb!"saysBlackJacktoPeets，asheswabsoffthebarinapeevishway。"ImakesitmyboastthatI"mthebest-nacheredbarkeepbetweentheColoradoan"theRioGrande，an"
yetI"mfreetoconfess，sechplayschafesme。MayIask，"an"BlackJackstopswipin"thebaran"turnsonPeetsplumbp"lite，"whatyourideeisinthusshootin"yourwayintoacommercialaffairinwhichyouhasnointerest？"
""Thisycrebibulouspersonismypatient，"saysPeets，aheaphaughty。"Ipreescribesnolicker；an"thempreescriptionsisgoin"
tobefilled，youbet!ifIhastofill"emwithagun。Whateverdoyou-allreckonamedicalpractitioneris？Doyoufiggerhe"saMexican，an"thathisdiagnosises，thata-way，don"tgo？Inotifiesyouthismornin"asIstandsyeregettin"mythirddrink，thatifthisoutcastcomestrackin"inwithdemandsfornose-paint，torememberhe"ssickan"throwhimoutonhishead。An"yere"showI"mobeyed!"
"Which，ofcourse，thisexplainsthingstoBlackJack，an"heseeshisinadvertences。Hecomesoutfrombehindthebartowherethissickmaverickhasdonefaintedintheconfoosion，an"collarshiman"setshimonachar。
""Doc，"saysBlackJack，whenhe"sgotthewiltedgentplantedfirman"safe，"Itendersmyregrets。Havin"neitherbrandsnory"earmarkstoguideby，Ineverrecognizesthispersonasyourinvalidatall；nonewhatever。I"dshorebentagunonhiman"
harassedhimbackintohislair，asyourequests，ifIsuspectshisidentity。ToshowI"monthesquar"，Doc，I"lldothispartyanyvoylence，evenatthislatehour，whichyouthinkwillmakeamends。"
""Yourapol"gyisaccepted，"saysPeets，butstillhaughty；"I
descernshowyougetsmaladroitthrougherrorsoverwhichyouhasnocontrol。Astothisperson，who"ssofullofstealthycunnin"，he"sallright。Solongashedon"tgetnolicker，novoylenceiscalledforinhiscase。"An"withthatPeetsconductshispatient，who"scometoag"in，backtohisreservation。
"ButIonbucklesthisafternoontotellyou-allaboutOldManEnright"searlylove，an"ifIaimstomakethetripbeforethemooncomesup，Ibetterhitthetrailofthemreminiscencesan"nofurtherdelays。
"It"sinthebackroomoftheNewYorkStorewherethecasksbe，an"
Enright，onwhosenervesan"speritsPeets"preescriptionsof"nolicker"hasbeenfeedin"fortwofulldays，sitstharsorto"
fidgin"withhisfingersan"movin"hisfeetinawaywhichshowshe"saheaponaige。Thar"samelancholysettlesonusall，aswecamps"roundoncratesan"shoeboxesan"silentlysympathizeswithEnrighttoseehimsoredooced。Atlastthegrandoldchiefstartsintotalkwithoutquestionsorrequests。
""Ifyou-alldon"tmind，"saysEnright，"I"llletgoahandfulofmem"riestouchin"myyooth。Thar"snothin"likemaladiestomakeagentsentimental，onlessitbegettin"shotuporcutupwithbulletsorbowies；an"theseyerevisitations，whichPeetsthinksisalkalian"Iholdsistheburdensofthemyearsofmine，shoreleavesmeplumbromantic。
"WhichI"vebeenthinkin"allday，betweentimeswhenI"mthinkin"
oflicker，ofPollyHawks；an"I"llsayrightyereshe"smyfirstan"onlylove。She"safineyoungfemale，isPolly——tallasasaplin"，withaarmonherlikeacant-hook。Pollycanliftan"hangupasideofbeef，an"isasgoodastwohandsatalog-rollin"。
""Thisyere"sbackinoldTennesseeonthebanksoftheCumberland。
It"saboutsixyearsfollowin"ontheMexicanwar，an"I"mshotup"ardsintothesemblancesofaman。MyaffectionsforPollyhastheirbeginnin"sinacoon-huntintowhichb"arsan"dogsgetscommingledinpainfulprofoosion。
""Iain"tthewonderofaweekwithariflenow，sinceI"moldan"
dim，butthemtimesontheCumberlandIhasfameassech。More"nonce，ag"instthebestthereisineithertheCumberlandortheTennesseebottoms，orontheridgebetween，I"vewonasgoodas，sayfirst，secondandfifthquartersinashootforthebeef。"
""Whateverdoyou-allcallafifthquarterofbeef？"asksDanBoggs。
"FourquartersisallI"meverabletocounttotheanamile。"
""It"syoothan"inexperience，"saysEnright，"thatpromptsthemqueries。Thefifthquarteristhehidean"tallow；an"alsothar"sasixthquarter，thesamebein"thebulletsinthestumpwhichmakesthetarget，an"whichisdugoutawholelot，leadbein"plentyinfrequentinthemdaysI"mdreamin"of。
""AsI"msayin"，whenDanlamsloosethemthickheadquestions，I"marenownedshot，an"myweaknessishuntin"b"ars。Ifinds"eman"
kills"emthateasy，Ithinksthar"snothin"intheworldbutb"ars。
An"whenIain"thuntin"b"ars，I"mlayin"fordeer；an"whenI
ain"tlayin"fordeer，I"msquawkin"turkeys；an"whenIain"tsquawkin"turkeys，I"moutnightswithapasselofmisfitdogsI
harbors，ashakin"upthesceneryforraccoons。Altogether，I"msomebusyasyou-allmaywellinfer。
""OnenightI"mcoonhuntin"。ThedogstreesoveronRapidRun。WhenIarrives，thewholepackiscirkled"roundthebaseofabigbeech，singin"；myoldAndrewJacksondogleadin"thechoirwiththeair，an"myThomasBentondoggrowlin"bass，whiletheotherswarbleswhatpartstheywill，indiscrim"nate。
""Nacherally，thedogscan"tclimbthetreenone，an"Ihastomakethatplaymyse"f。Ilaysdownmygun，an"shucksmybeltsan"knife，an"goesswarmin"upthebeech。It"sshorelyateediousenterprise，an"someroughbesides。Thatbeechseemsasfullofspikesan"
thornsasahoneylocust——itsasorto"porkypineofatree。
""WhichIworksmylaceratedwayintothelowerbranches，an"then，glancesupag"inthefirmamentstolocatethecoon。Heain"tvis"blenone；he"shigherupan"theleavesan"breshhideshim。IgoesontillI"mtwentyfootfromtheground；thenIlooksupag"in，""Gents，itain"tnocoon；it"sab"ar，blackaspaintan"asbigasabaggagewagon。Heain"ttwofootabovemetoo；an"thesightofhim，settin"tharlikeablackbaleofcotton，an"hisnearness，an"
partic"larlyafewterseremarksheletsdrop，comesmightyclosttoastonishin"metodeath。Ithinksofmygun；an"thenIletsgoallboltstogoan"getit。Shore，Ifallsoutenthetree；tharain"tnotimetodescendslowan"dignified。
""AsIcomescrashin"alongthroughthembeechboughs，itinculcatesamisonderstandin"amongthedogs。AndrewJackson，ThomasBentonan"
theothersisconvokedaboutthattreeonapurelycoontheery。Theyexpectsmetoknockthecoondownto"em。Theyshorelydonotexpectmetocometumblin"nonemyse"f。IttharforebefallsthatwhenI
makesmydebooamong"em，themcanines，blindedan"besottedasI
saywiththoughtsofcoon，prouncesuponmeinabody。Everydogrendsoffaspecimentofme。Theydon"tbitetwice；theyperceivesbythetastethatitain"tnocoonan"desists。
""WhichIdon"treckontheirworryin"mewouldhavebecomeacontinyoousperformancenohow；formean"thedogsishardlytangledupthata-way，whenwe"reinterferedwithbytheb"ar。LooksliketheexampleIsetsisinfectious；forwhenIletsgo，theb"arletsgo；an"Ihardlyhitsthegroundan"becomestheragin"centerofinteresttoAndrewJackson，ThomasBentonan"themothers，whentheb"arisdownonallofusliketheoldCumberlandonasandbardoorin"aspringrise。Ishoreregyardshisadventthata-wayasthedayofjedgment。
""No，wedon"tcorralhim。Theb"arsimplyr"arsbacklongenoughtoputAndrewJacksonan"ThomasBentonintomournin"，an"thengoesscuttlin"offthroughthebusheslikethegraceofheaventhroughacamp-meetin"。Asformyse"f，Ilaysthar；an"whatbetweendogan"
b"aran"thefallIgets，I"mascompletelyathingofthepastaseverfindsrefoogeinthatstripoftimber。AsnearasImakesoutbyfeelin"ofmyse"f，Iain"tfittomakegourdsoutof。Ofcourse，she"samistakeonthepartofthedogs，an"plumbaccidentalasfarastheb"ar"sconcerned；butitshorecrumplesmeupasentirelyasifthisyereoutfitofanamilesplotstheplayforamonth。
""Withthelastflickerofmyfailin"strength，Icrawlstomyoldgent"steepeean"istookin。An"youshoreshouldhaveheardthelanguageofthathouseholdwhentheyseesthefullan"awfulextentthemdogsan"thatb"arlaysmewaste。WhichI"mlayedupeightweeks。
""Myoldgentgoesgrumblin"offinthemornin"，an"roundsupoldAuntTillyHawkstonurseme。OldAuntTillylivesoveronthePaintedPost，an"isplumblearnedinyarbsan"sechasInjunturnips，opydeldock，live-forever，skoke-berryroots，jinsonan"
whitewoodbark。An"sotheyropesupAuntTillyHawksan"tellshertorideherdonmywoundsan"dislocations。
""ButI"mplumbweakan"nervousan"can"tstandAuntTillynone。
Sheain"tgotnoupperteeth，sameasacow，herfaceiswrinkledlikeaburntboot，an"shedipssnuff。Moreover，shegivesmethehorrorsbyallerssingin"inaquaverin"way""Harkfromthetombsadolefulsound，Miney"earsattendthecry。
Yelivin"mencomeviewthegroundWhereyoushallshortlylie。
""AuntTillysoundsaheaplikeatea-kettlewhenshe"srenderin"
thisyeremadrigal，an"that，an"thewords，an"alltherest，makesmegloomyan"dejected。I"mshorepinin"awayondertheseyeremaligninflooences，whenmyoldgentnotesIain"trecooperatin"，an"soheguessesthecause；an"withthathegivesAuntTillyalay-off，an"tellshertosendalongherniecePollytotakeherplace，""Thar"saencouragin"difference。Pollyisbigan"stronglikeI
states；buthereyesislikestars，an"she"sasfullofsweetnessasabeetreeorabar"lofm"lasses。SoPollycampsdownbymycouchofpainan"beginsdallyin"soothin"lywithmyheatedbrow。I
commencesrecoverin"fromthemattacksofb"arsan"dogsinstanter。
""ThisyerePollyHawksain"tnonenewtome。Ineverco"tsher；butImeetsherfrequentatbarnraisin"san"quiltin"s，whichallerswindsupinadance；an"inthemgamesan"merriments，sechas"bowin"tothewittiest，kneelin"totheprettiest，an"kissin"theoneyoulovesthebest，"ImorethanonceregyardsPollyasanalloorin"formofhoomanhollyhock，an"selectsher。Butthar"snoflushofburnin"love；nothin"norethanthemamiableformalitieswhichbefitstheo"casion。
""WhilethisyerePollyisnursin"me，however，shetakesonadifferentattitoodeawholelot。ItlookslikeIbeginstoneedherpermanent，an"everytimeIsetsmyeyesonherIfeelsassoftasb"ar"sgrease。It"sshorelylove；thatPollyHawksisassweetan"
lusciousasaroastapple。"
""Isshefortroosolovely？"asksFaroNell，who"sbeenhangin"
ontoEnright"swords。
""Frankly，Nellie，"saysEnright，sorto"pinchin"downhisbluff；
"nowthatI"mca"meran"mybloodiscool，thisyerePollydon"tseemsoplumbprismatic。Still，Imustsay，she"splentyradiant。"
""Doesyou-all，"saysDanBoggs，"putthisyerePollyinnom"nationtobeyourwifewhileyou"requiledupsick？"
""No，IdefersthemofferstomomentswhenI"mmorerobust，"saysEnright。
""Youshoreoughterrodeatherwhileyou"resickthata-way，"
remonstratesBoggs。"That"sthetimetosetyourstackdown。Femalesiseasymovedtopity，an"，asI"veheared——forI"venothin"togoby，personal，sinceI"mnevermarriedan"isneversicknone——isaheapmorepronetowedagentwho"ssick，thanwhenhe"swellalot。"
""Iholdsthemdoctrinesmyse"f，"observesEnright；"however，I
don"tdescendonPollywithnoprop"sitions，neitherthennorfinal，asyou-allshallhear，Dan，ifyou"llonlyholdyourse"fdown。No，I
continyoosonlovin"Pollytomyse"fthata-way，ontilI"mabletogopokin"aboutoncrutches；an"then，asthar"snomoreneedofherministrations，PollylinesoutforoldAuntTilly"scabinag"in。
""It"satthisyerejuncturethingshappenswhichsorto"
complicatesthendreamsofmine。WhileIain"tbeensayin"nothin"，an"hasbeenplumbreticentastomyfeelin"s，jestthesame，bylookoract，ormebbyit"sasigh，Itipsoffmyhand。Itain"tnotimebeforealltheneighborsisawareofmyloveforPollyHawks。
Also，thisPollyhasaloverwhoitlookslikehasbeenco"tin"her，an"bringin"herminkpeltsan"wildturkeysindeescrim"nate，formonths。IneverdohearofthisgentontilI"mcripplin""roundonthemstiltsofcrutches；an"thenIain"tinformedofhimnoneonlyafterhe"sinformedofme。
""Thar"sameasleylittlelimberjawofapartywhosenameisIkeSparks；thisIkeisallersrunnin"abouttellin"thingsan"settin"
trapstocapturetroubleforotherfolks。Ikeisaorneryanamile——
littlean"furtif——meanenoughtosuckaigs，an"cunnin"enoughtohidetheshells。Hehateseverybody，thisIkedoes；an"he"sassuspiciousasBillJohnson"sdog，whichlastisthatdoubtfulan"
suspiciousheshorewalkssidewaysallhislifeforfearsomeone"sgoin"tokickhim。Thislow-downIkeimpartstoPolly"sotherloveraboutthestateofmyfeelin"s；an"thenitain"tnotimewhenI
getsnoticeofthissport"sexistence。
""It"sinthelickerroomofthetavernatPineKnot，towhichscenesI"vescrambledonthemcrutchesoneevenin"，wherethispartyfirstmeetsupwithmeinperson。He"sabig，tallcitizenwithlanky，longha"r，an"isdressedinablankethuntin"shirtan"hasacoon-skincapwiththetailhangin"overhislefty"ear。Also，hepacksaHawkinsrifle，bulletsaboutfortytothepound。Formyse"f，Idon"tgetentrancednonewiththisperson"slooks，an"asIain"tfit，physical，fornoskrimmage，Ihastosingplumblow。
""Thar"sabandofussettin""roundwhenthisloverofPolly"sshowsinthedoor，drinkin"an"warblin"thatentertainin"ditty，whichgoes:"
"""Tharsitsadog，byabarndoor，An"Bingoishisname，O!
An"Bingoishisname。"
""AsPolly"sotherbeaucomesin，weceasesthisrefrain。Hepitcheshisrifletothelandlordoverthebar，an"callsforaBaldfacewhiskeytoddy。Hetakesfourorfivedrinks，contemplatin"usmeanwhileaheapdisdainful。Thenhearcheshisback，bendshiselbows，beginsawar-song，an"goesdancin"stiff-laiglikeaInjun，infrontofthebar。Thisishowthisextravagantpartysings。It"swhatColonelSterett，yere，towhomIrepeatsitformer，calls"blanketverse。"
"""Letallthesonsofmenb"arwitness!"singsthisgent，ashegoesskatin"stiff-laigaboutinaringlikeIrelates，armsbent，an"backarched；"letallthesonsofmenb"arwitness；an"
speshullyletacowerin"varmint，namedSamEnright，sizemeupan"
shudder!I"mthemakerofdesertsan"thewall-eyedharbingerofdesolation!I"mkintorattlesnakesonmymother"sside；I"mkingofalltheeaglesan"fullbrothertotheb"ars!I"mthebloo-eyedlynxofWhiskeyCrossin"，an"Iweighsfourthousandpounds!I"mahe-
steamboat；I"veputacrimpinacat-a-mountwithnothin"butmylivin"hands!Ibrokeafull-grownallagatoracrossmyknee，torehimasunderan"showeredhisshrinkin"fragmentsoverafullsectionofland!Ihuggedacinnamonb"artodeath，an"madeagrizzlypleadformercy!Who"llcomegougewithme？Who"llcomebitewithme？
Who"llcomeputhisknucklesinmyback？I"mWeasel-eye，thedeadshot；I"mtheblood-drinkin"，skelp-t"arin"，knife-plyin"demonofSunflowerCreek!Theflashofmyglancewilldeadenawhiteoak，an"
myscreechinangerwillbackthepantherplumboffhisnatifheath!
I"maslayeran"aslaughterer，an"Icooksan"eatsmydead!IcanwadetheCumberlandwithoutwettin"myse"f，an"Idrinksoutenthespringwithouttouchin"theground!I"maswinge-cat；butIwarnsyounottobemisledbymylooks!I"maflyin"bison，an"
deevastationridesuponmybreath!Whoop!whoop!whoopee!I"mthePurpleBlossomofGinghamMountain，an"whereisthatsonofthunderwho"lltryan"nipmeinthebud!Whoop!whoopee!I"myeretofightordrinkwithanysport；anyoneorboth!Whoopee!Whereisthestatelystagtostamphishooforraphisantlerstomyproclamations!Whereisthatboundin"buck!Whoopee!whoop!whoop!"
""ThenthisyerevociferousPurpleBlossompausesforbreath；butkeepsuphisstilt-laigdance，considerin"memeanwhilewithhiseye，plentybaleful。We-allonourpartsisviewin"himoveraheaprespectful，an"ain"tretortin"aword。Thenhebeginsag"inwithayelpthatwouldstampedeafieldofcorn。
"""WhoistharlovelierthanPollyHawks!"heshouts。"Showmethefemalemoreentrancin"，an"letmedropdeadatherfeet!WhoislovelierthanPollyHawks，thesweetheartofFlyin"Bison，theonchainedtornadoofthehills!FeastyourgazeonPollyHawks；herbeautywouldmelttheheartofNacher!I"mthePurpleBlossomofGinghamMountain；PollyHawksshallmarryan"followmetomywigwam!Herbedshallbeofb"ar-skins；herfoodshallbeyearlin"
venison，an"wildhoneyfromthetree!Hergownshallbepanther"speltsfringed"roundwithwolf-tailsan"eagles"claws!Sheshallbeltherse"fwitharattlesnake，an"herSundaybonnetshallbeaswarmofbees!WhenIkissheritsoundslikethecrackofawhip，an"Iwouldn"tpartwithherfortwentycows!Wewillwedan"
pop"latetheearthwithterror!Whereisthesooicidewho"llstandinmyway？"
""Atthisp"intthePurpleBlossomleavesoffdancin"an"frontsuptome，personal。
"""Whoopee!"hesays；"saythatyoudon"tlovethegirlan"I"llgiveyouonehundreddollarsbeforeIspillsyourlife!"
""Which，ofcourse，alltheseyeremoosicalan"terpshicoreenpreeliminariesmeanssimplysomuchwarbetweenmean"thissperitedbeauofPolly"s，toseewho"llownthelady"sheart。IexplainsthatI"mnotjestthenfitforcombat，sufferin"asIbefromthatoverabundanceofdogan"b"ar。ThePurpleBlossomisplumbp"lite，an"sayshedon"thungertowhipnocripples。Thenhenamesadaytwomonthsawaywhenheallowshe"llshoredescendfromGinghamMountain，meltmedownan"runmeintocandlestoburnattheweddin"ofhiman"PollyHawks。Thenwedrinkstogether，allfraternal，an"hegivesmeachewoftobaccooutenabox，madeoftheheadofabaldeagle，intokenofamity，thata-way。
""ButthatrumpusbetweenthePurpleBlossoman"meneverdoescomeoff；an"themritesovermean"Pollyisindef"nitelypostponed。Thefactis，Ihastoleavealot。Istartsouttocommitajoke，an"itturnsoutacrime；an"soIgoesstreakin"itfromthescenesofmyyoothfulfrolicsforsaferstampin"grounds。
""It"smebbysixweeksfollowin"themdeclarationsofthePurpleBlossom。It"sco"tdayatWar-whoopCrossin"，an"theJedgean"
everylaw-sharponthatcircuitcomestrailin"intocamp。ThisyereoutfitofWarwhoopisspeshulfretfulag"installformsofgamblin"。
WhereforetheJedge，an"thestate"sattorney，an"mebbyfiveotherspeculators，atnightadjournstothecabinofaflat-boatwhichistiedupatthefootofthelevee，so"stheycandivertthemse"fswithalittledraw-pokerwithoutshockin"thehamletan"gettin"
themse"fsarrestedan"finedsome。
""It"sgonetoaboutfourthdrinktimeaftersupper，an"I"mromancin"about，tryin"tofiggerouthowI"mtowinPolly，whenasI"mwaltzin"alongthelevee——I"mplumbalone，an"thetownitse"fhasturnedintoitsblankets——Igetssightofthisyerepokerfestivalragin"inthecabin。Thartheybe，antein"，goin"itblind，straddlin"，raisin"beforethedraw，bluffin"，an"bettin"，an"
havin"thetimeoftheirc"reers。
""It"sthespringflood，an"theoldCumberlandisbank-fullan"
stilla-risin"。Theflatboatissoftlyraisin"an"fallin"onthesobbin"tide。It"sthenthemjocularimpulsesseizesme，thata-way；
an"Istoopsan"castsoffheroneline，an"thatflatboatswimssilentlyawayonthebosomoftheriver。Thesportsinsideknowsnothin"an"guessesless，an"theirgayetyswellsonwithoutahitch。
""It"sthreeo"clockan"JedgeFinn，who"swonaboutahundredan"
sixtydollars，realizesit"sallthemoneyintheoutfit，an"getscoldfeetplentyprompt。Hemurmurssomethin"abouttellin"theoldladyFinnhe"dbeinearly，an"shovesbackamidstthescoffsan"
jeersofthelosers。ButthegoodoldJedgedon"tmind，an"openin"
thedoor，hegoesoutintothenightan"thedark，an"carefullypickshiswayoverboardintofortyfootofwater。TheyelltheJedgeemitsashemakeshislittleholeintheCumberlandisthefirstnewsthemkyardsharpsgetsthatthey"reafloatawholelot。
""Itain"tnopush-overrescooin"JedgeFinnthattime。Theonehundredan"sixtyisinMexicanmoney，an"he"sgotapoundortwoofitsinkeredabouthisoldframeineverypocket；sohegoestothebottomlikeakagofnails。
""Buttheyworkshard，an"atlastfisheshimout，an"rollshimoverabar"ltogetthewateran"themoneyoutenhim。Whichondersechtreatment，theJedgedisgorgesboth，an"atlastcomestoatriflean"isfedwhiskeywithaspoon。
""Havin"savedtheJedge，theothersturnslooseavolleyofyellsthatshorelyscaresupthemechoesfaran"wide。Itwakesupalittleoldtugthat"stiedinDeadNiggerBend，an"shefiresupan"
pushesforthtotheirrelief。Thetughauls"embacktoWarwhoopforseventydollars，whichispaidoutoftherescooedtreasureofJedgeFinn，thesamebein"declar"dsalvagebythembanditshe"sbeenplayin"with。
""It"stwoo"clockintheafternoonwhenthatbandofgamblerspullsupag"inatWarwhoop，an"they"reshorelyasaddenedpartyastheyfilesashore。Thevillageistharinafrownin"an"resentfulbodytoarrest"emforthemvoylations，whichisaccordin"done。
""Atthesametime，Iregyardstheplayasthefunniest，ondoubted，that"severbeenevolvedinTennessee；butmymoodchangesassubsequenteventsassoomesasomberface。OldJedgeFinngoesfumin"
aboutlikeawrongedlion，an"therestisashotaselectiondayinahornet"snest。Pards，I"maMexican!iftheydon"tindictmeforpiracyonthehighseas，an"pledgetheirwordstoseemehangedbeforeeverco"tadjourns。
""Thatletsmeout，rightthar!Iseesthesymptomsofmyonpop"larityinadvance，an"don"tprocrastinatenone。Igoessailin"overthedividetotheTennessee，downtheTennesseetotheOhio，downtheOhiototheMississippi，downtheMississippitotheArkansaw，uptheArkansawtoLittleRock；an"tharIpauses，exhaustedshore，butsafeasamurdererinGeorgia。WhichIneverdoesgobackforplumbtenyears。
""Nacherally，becauseofthisyereexodus，ImissesmyengagementswiththePurpleBlossom；alsothemnuptialsIplotsaboutPollyHawks，suffersthekyboshawholelot。However，Isurvives，an"
Pollysurvives；shean"thePurpleBlossomhooksupamonthlater，an"Ilearnssincetheyshorehasoffspringsenoughtopackaprimaryorstartapublicschool。It"salloverlongago，an"I"mgladthekyardsfallsastheydo。Still，asIintimates，thar"sthemmomentsofromancetoridemedown，whenIremembersmyoneloneloveaffairwithPollyHawks，thebeautyofthePaintedPost。"
"Enrightpauses，an"we-allsetsstillamomentoutofrespectstotheoldchief。AtlastDanBoggs，who"salwaysbubblin"thata-way，speaksup:
""WhichI"mshoresorry，"saysDan，"youdon"tfetchthemoosicofthatPurpleBlossom"swar-songWest。Ideemsthatamightyexcellentlay，an"wouldadmiretolearnitan"singitsomemyse"f。I"dshoregooveran"carolittoRedDog；itwouldredoocethemdrunkardstofrenzy。""