第4章
"ButthisyereyoungMoonisobduratean"goesoveran"giveshimse"ftotheagent，whoputsituphe"llsendhimtoPrescotttobetriedinco"tforbeefin"themule-thiefApachethata-way。
"Shore!itturnsoutjestasCaptainMoonsays。Beforethey"dgoneahalfmile，themwardsofthegov"ment，asIoncehearsabigchieffromWashin"toncall"em，takesthenephyfromthisyerefallaciousagentan"byfourthdrinktimethatmornin"，orwhenit"sbeensun-
upthreehours，thatnephyisnothin"butamem"ry。
"Howdotheykillhim？Inafashionwhich，fromthecoigneyourApacheviewsthings，does"emproud。Thatnephyisimmolatedasfollows:Theyropeshimout，wristan"ankle，withfourlariats；
pegshimoutlikehe"sahidethey"regoin"todry。Thar"sabiganthillcloseathand；it"swithreferencetothisyereantcolonythatthenephyisstakedout。InthreehoursfromthetunethemantsgetsthewordfromtheApaches，they"vedoneeatthenephyup，an"thelastvestitchofhimplumbdisappearswiththelastant，asthelatterresoomeshislaborsondertheearth。
"Why，shore!theseyereants"lleatfolks。Theyre-yardssechreepastsasfestivals，an"seasonsofreelaxationfromthesternerdootiesofaant。IrecallsoncehowwelosesLocoedCharlie，whichdementedpartyIb"lieveImentionstoyouprior。ThisyereCharlietakesadayofffromwherehe"sworkin"——atleasthecallsitlabor——
atthestagecorrals，an"goescurvin"overtoRedDog。Charlietanksuponthewhiskeyofthathamlet，comparedtowhichtheworstnose-painteversoldinWolfvilleisnectar。Theypalmsoffmebbyit"saquartofthisjooceonCharlie，an"thenhep"intsoutforWolfville。
"That"sthelastoftheporedrunkard。Hisponyisnickcrin"aboutthecorralgates，pleadin"withthemulesinsidetoopen"em，inthemornin"，butnosignorsmokeofLocoedCharlie。An"heneverdoesshowupnomore。
"Ifit"sEnrightorCherokeeHall，oranyvalyooedcitizen，tharwouldhaveissooedforthawarparty，an"RedDogwouldhavebeensackedan"burnedbutwhatthemissin"gentwouldhavebeenturnedout。Butit"sdifferentaboutLocoedCharlie。Hehadn"tthatholdonthepop"larheart；didn"tfillsechaplaceinthegen"raleye；an"
so，barrin"awordortwoofwonder，overtheirdrinkattheRedLight，Idon"treckonnowtheWolfvillefolksdisturbsthemse"fspartic"laraboutthecampbein"shyCharlie。
"It"stheseconddaywhenateamster，trackin"overfromRedDog，developeswhat"sleftofLocoedCharlie。Hefallsoffhishoss，withthatloadofRedDogwhiskey，an"everynotionorideeorsensationabsolootelyeffaced。An"whereCharlielosesis，hefallsbyaanthill。Yes；theyshorelytakesCharliein。Thar"snothin"leftofhimwhentheteamsterlocatestheremainder，buthisclothes，hisspursan"his"natomy。Ther"argyardofthemantshaslongsinceretiredwiththefinalfragmentsofLocoedCharlie。"You-allmighto"seenthestory。ColonelSterettwritesitupintheCoyote，an"headsit，"HungerisaTerribleThing。"ThissotCharliecomin"tohisdeaththata-wayputsaawfulscareoverHugginsan"OldMonte。Itreforms"emformore"ntwohours。Huggins，whoisallersfrontin"upasonewhopossessespublicsperit，triestolookplumbdignifiedaboutit，an"remarkstoDaveTuttintheNewYorkStoreashowhethinksweoughterthrowinaroundan"buildamonumenttoLocoedCharlie。Daveallowsthat，whilehe"swithHugginsinthemprojecks，hewantstoaddamonumenttotheants。Thefoundersoftheschemesorto"
splittin"atthego-inthata-way，itdon"tgetnofurther，an"themonumenttoLocoedCharlie，asaenterprise，bogsdown。ButtocontinyooonthetrailofCaptainMoon。
"Mooncomesrumblin"intoWolfville，over-doomebbyit"stwoweeks，bringin"bothteams。Thar-uponherelatesthemoutrages。Thar"sbutonethought，thatagenthaslivedtoolong。
""Ifhewastheusualcommonformoffelon，"saysEnright，"ondoubted——foritwouldbetheirdooty——thevig"lancecommitteelocaltothempartswouldstringhimup。Butthatain"tpossible；
thisyeremiscreantisagov"mentofficialan"wearsthegov"mentbrand，an"eventheStranglers，ofwhatevercommoonity，ain"tstrongenough，an"wouldn"tbejestifiedinstackin"inag"inthegov"ment。
CaptainMoon"sonlyshowisafeud。Heoughtercaperoveran"，asprivateaspossible，arrogatetohimse"ftheskelpofthisyereagentwhoabandonshisrelatiftothemhostiles。"
"WolfvillelistenstoCaptainMoon"shist"ryofhiswrongs；butasidefromthemeloocidationsofEnright，nogentsaysmuch。Thar"ssomegameswheretroop"litenessconsistsinsayin"nothin"an"
knowin"less。ButthemostcarelesshandincampcanseethatMoon"saimin"atreprisals。
"ThisCurlyBenistrackin"aboutWolfvilleatthetime。Curlyain"twhatyou-allwouldcallaelevatedcharacter。He"sarustlerofcattle，an"asmugglerofMexicangoods，an"Curlyan"theYoonitedStatesmarshalshashadmoreturn-upsthanone。ButCurlyisdeadgame；an"sofar，hemanagestoeitherout-luckorout-shootthemmagistrates；an"，asIsays，whenMooncomeswanderin"inthattimemournin"forhisnephy，Curlyhasbeenprojectin"aboutcampforlikeit"saweek。
"Moonsorto"roominatesontheplay，upan"down，foradayorso，makin"outaplan。Hedon"twanttogobackhimse"f；theagentknowshim，an"themInjunsknowshim，an"it"sevenmoney，ifhecomespokin"intotheirbailiwick，they"lltumbletohiserrant。Insechevents，they"reshoredootocorralhiman"givethemantsanotherholiday。It"stheantpartthatgivesporeCaptainMoonachill。
""I"lltakeachanceonabowieknife，"saysMoontoDanBoggs，——
Dan，bein"asympatheticgentan"takin"nacherallytofolksintrouble，hasMoon"sconfidencefromthejump；"I"lltakeachanceonabowieknife；an"asforagun，Isimplycourtstheresk。Butthenantsdazzlesme——Ilaydowntoants，an"Ilooksonitasnodisgracetoagenttosayso。"""Antsshorelydosoundpoignant，"
admitsDan，"speshullythembigblackan"redantsthathasstingerslikehornetsan"pincherslikebugs。Sechinsecks，armedtotheteethastheybe，an"laidouttofightbothwaysfromthemiddle，islikewisetoomanyforme。Iwouldrefoosebattlewith"emmyse"f。"
"Itain"tlongbeforeCaptainMoonan"CurlyBenisseenconfidin"
an"conferrin"withoneanother，an"drinkin"bythemse"fs，an"noonehastobetoldthatMoon"smakin"negotiationswithCurlytorideoveran"downtheagent。TheideeispecooliarlygratefultoWolfville。Itstandstowinnomatterhowthekyardslayinthebox。
IfCurlyfetchestheagentflutterin"fromhislimb，thar"sonemiscreantlessinArizona，iftheagentgetsthedropan"putsoutCurlyBen，itcomesforthjestthesame。It"sthecamp"stheerythat，inallthatentitles"emtodeath，thecasestandshossan"
hossbetweentheagentan"CurlyBen。
""An"iftheybothgetsdowned，it"sawhip-saw，wewinbothways；"
saysCherokeeHall，an"therestofusfilesawayournose-paintinsilentassenttharwith。"ItcomesoutlaterthatMoonagreestogiveCurlyBenfifteenhundreddollarsan"apony，ifhe"llgooveran"
killofftheagent。CurlyBensaystheprop"sitionisthepleasantestthinghehearssinceheleavesthePanhandletenyearsbefore，an"soheacceptsfivehundreddollarsan"thepony——thesamebein"thenacherofpaymentsinadvance——an"goesclatterin"
offupthecanyononeevenin"onhismissionofjestice。An"thenwehearsnomoreofCurlyBenforaboutamonth。Noonemarvelsnoneatthis，however，asdownin"anygivengentisaprop"sitionwhichinworkin"outislikelytoinvolvedelays。
"Oneday，withunruffledbrowan"anairallcarelessan"free，CurlyBenridesintoWolfvillean"beginsorderin"whiskeyattheRedLightbeforehe"shardlycl"arofthesaddle。Tharain"tnobodyincamp，fromDocPeetstoMissisRucker，butwhat"seagertoknowthefinishofCurly"sexpedition，butofcourseeverybodyhobbleshisfeelin"sinthembehalfs。It"sCaptainMoon"sfooneral，an"heoughterhaveafirst，oninterruptedsay。MooncomesuptoCurlyBenwhereCurlyiscuttin"thealkalidustoutenhisthroatattheRedLightbar。
""Didyougethim？"Moonasksafterafewp"litepreeliminaries。
"Didyoubringbackhisha"ran"y"earslikeweagrees？"
""Haveyou-allgottheotherthousandready，"saysCurlyBen。"intheeventIdo？"
""Rightyereinmywar-bags，"saysMoon，"awaitin"tomakegoodforyourtinean"talentan"troubleinrevengin"myporenephy"sdeemisebywayoftheminsecks。"An"Moonslapshispocketaslocatin"thedinero。
""Well，Idon"tgethim，"saysCurlyBenca"mly，settin"hisglassonthebar。
"Thar"sapauseofmebbytwominutes，doorin"whichMoonlookscloudy，asthoughhedon"tlikethewaythekyardsiscomin"；CurlyBen，onhispart，issmilin"likewhatHugginscalls"oneofhissongstresses"overintheBirdCageOp"ryHouse。Afterabit，Moonresoomestheminvestigations。
""Don"tIgiveyoufourstacksofredsan"apony，"hesays，"toreepairtothatmurdereran"floor-managehisobsequies？An"don"tI
promiseyoueightstacksmorewhenyoureportswiththatoutcast"sy"earsan"ha"r，asshowin"goodfaith？"
""C"rrect；everyword，"saysCurlyBen，lightin"aseegyaranthenleanin"hiselbowsonthebar，aheaponmoved。
""WhichIwouldadmiretoknow，then，"saysMoon，an"hiseyesisgettin"littlean"hard，"whyyou-alldon"tmadegoodthemcompacts。"
""Well，I"llonfoldthereasonsan"makeitasplainan"cl"aran"
convincin"asaspadeflush，"saysCurlyBen。"WhenIgetstothisyerevictimofours，Ifindshimtobeamightyprofoosean"lavishformofsport。ThemomentI"mfinishedexplainin"tohimmymission，an"jestasIonlimbersmysix-shootertogethimwherehelives，heoffersmefivethousanddollarstocomebackyerean"killyou。
Nacherally，afterthat，mean"thisyeresubjectofourplottakesafewdrinks，talksitover，an"yereIbe。"
""Butwhatbeyouaimin"todo？"asksMoon。
""Whatbeyouaimin"todo？"respondsCurlyBen。AsIstates，he"sshorethemostornerycoyote!
""Idon"tonderstand，"saysMoon。
""Whyit"sasobv"ous，"retortsCurlyBen，"astheFenceRailbrand，an"thattakesupthewholesideofacow。Thequestionnowis，doyouraisethisyeregent？HeraisesyouasIexplains；nowdoyouquit，ortilthim，say，athousandbetter？"
""An"supposeIdon"t？"saysMoon，sorto"figgerin"foramomentorso。"Whatdoyoureckonnowwouldbeyournextmove？"
""Tharwouldbebutonethingtodo，"saysCurlyBenmightyplacid；
"I"dshorelytakehim。Iwouldproceedwithyourdestructionatonce，an"returntothisagentgentan"acceptthatfivethousanddollarhonorariumheoffers。"
"CurlyBenis"bad"plumbthrough，an"thesights，astheysaysinthepicturesquelanguageoftheSouthwest，hasbeenfiledfromhisgunsformanyyears。Whichthislastisrunnin"inMoon"sheadwhilehetalkswithhisdisgustin"emmissary。Moonain"touttotakechancesongettin"theworstofit。An"tharfore，Moonatoncewaxescunnin"awholelot。
""I"maporeman，"hesays，`butifittakesthemteamsofmine，tothelasttirean"thelasthoof，I"vegottohavethisagent"sha"ran"y"ears。YoucamparoundtheRedLightawhile，Curly，tillIgoovertotheNewYorkStorean"seeaboutmoremoney。I"llbebackwhileyou"relayin"outanotherdrink。"
"Nowit"snottothecreditofCurly，asacrim"nalwhoputsthoughtintohislabors，thatheletsCaptainMoonturnhisflanktheeasywayhedoes。ItdisplaysCurlyaslackin"aheapinmil"tarygenius。
Idon"tpresoometoexplainit；an"it"sallsodeadonnacheralatthisjuncturethattheonlys"lootionI"mcap"bleofgivin"itisthatit"spreedestinatedthata-way。CurlynotonlyletsMoonwalkoff，whichafterhehangsupthatbluffabouttakin"themtermsoftheagent"sismightyirreg"lar，buthe"sthatobtoosehesitsdowntoplaykyards，whilehe"swaitin"，withhisbacktothedoor。Why!
it"slikesooicide!
"Moongoesouttohiswagonsan"gets，an"buckleson，hisguns。
Quick，crafty，briskasacatan"withnomorenoise，Mooncomeswalkin"intotheRedLightdoor。HeseesCurlywherehesitsatseven-up，withhisbackturnedtowardshim。
""Oneforjack!"saysCurly，turnin"thatfav"ritekyard。Moonsorto"driftstohisr"ar。
""Bang!"saysMoon"spistol，an"Curlyfallsfor"ardsontothetable，an"thenontothefloor，thebulletplumbthroughhishead，asIinformsyou。
"CurlyBenneverhastheshadowofatip，he"soutoftheRedLightan"intotheregionsbeyond，likesnappin"yourthumban"finger。
It"sassharpasthebuckofapony，he"sMoon"smeatinaminute。
"No，thar"snothin"forWolfvilletodo。Moon"sjestified。Whichhisplayistheonetrailout，foruptothatp"intwhereMoononhookshisguns，Curlyain"tdonenothin"toputhiminreachoftheStranglers。Committeesofvig"lance，thata-way，likeshore-enoughco"ts，can"tpreventcrime，theyonlypunishit，an"uptowhereMoongetsdecisiveaction，thar"snoopenin"bywhichtheStranglerscouldcutinonthedeal。Yes，Enrightconveneshiscommitteean"
goesthroughthemotionsoftryin"Moon。Theydoesthistopreserveappearances，butofcoursetheythrowsMoonloose。An"asthar"sreasons，asanygentcansee，whynoonecarestohavethestoryasitis，bemadeasubjectofinvidiousgossipinRedDog，an"otheroutfitsenviousofWolfville，atEnright"ssuggestion，theStranglersbasestheacquittalofMoononthefactthatCurlyBendeloodesMoon"ssister，backintheStates，an"thendesertsher。
MooncutsthetrailofthebasesedoocerinWolfville，an"gathershiminaccordin"，an"asabrotherpreyedonbyhissister"swrongsisshorelyexpectedtodo。"
"ButCurlyBenneverdidmisleadMoon"ssister，didhe？"Iasked，fortheconfidentfashionwhere-withmyoldfriendreeledoffthefindingofWolfville"svigilancecommittee，andthereasons，almostimposedonme。
"Whichyoucanbetthelimit，"heobservedfiercely，ashepreparedtogointothehotel，"whichyoucangothelimitopen，son，Curlyain"tnonetoogood。"
CHAPTERIX
ColonelSterett"sReminiscences"An"whoisColonelWilliamGreeneSterett，youasks？"repeatedtheOldCattleman，withsomeindignantelevationofvoice。"He"sthefounderoftheCoyote，Wolfville"sfirstnewspaper；isascultivatedagentthata-wayasacquireshisnose-paintattheRedLight"sbar；
an"comesofasgoodaKaintuckyfam"lyaseverdistilsitsownwhiskeyorlosesitsmoneyonahoss。Son，Itellsyouthisprior。"
Thislastreproachfully。
"No，ColonelSterettain"toldnone——notwhatyou-allwouldcallaged。Whenhecomesweavin"intoWolfvillethattime，IreckonsnowColonelSterettismightylikelyabouttwenty-oddyearsyoungerthanme，an"atthattimeIshowsaboutfiftyringsonmyhorns。Asforeddication，he"sshoreaevenbreakwithDocPeets，an"asIremarksfrequent，InevercallsthehandofthatgentinArizonawhoforalib"ralenlightenmentisbullsnakestorattlesnakeswithPeets。
"Speakin"aboutwhoColonelSterettis，heonfoldshispedigreeinfulloneevenin"whenwe"reallsorto"self-herdedintheNewYorkStore。Whichhisstoryisaproudone，an"I"majedgebecausecominasIdofromTennesseemyse"f，nacherallyIsaveysallaboutKaintucky。Thar"sthreegradesoffolksinKaintucky，thesamebein"
contingententireonwhereaboutsthemfolksiscamped。Thar"stheBlooGrassdeestrict，thePennyr"yaldeestrict，an"thePurchase。
TheBlooGrassfolksisthe"ristocrats，whilethemlow-flungtrashfromthePurchaseisaheapplebeian。ThePennyr"yaloutfitiskindo"hesitatin""roundbetweenabalkan"abreak-downinbetweentheothertwo，an"ispart"ristocraticthata-wayan"partmud。AsforColonelSterett，he"spurestrainBlooGrass，an"heshowsit。I"llsaythisfortheColonel，an"itshorelyknitsmetohimfromthefirst，hecouldtakeabiggerdrinkofwhiskeywithoutsugarorwaterthaneverIseesagenttakeinmylife。
"ThattimeIalloodsto，whenColonelSterettvouchsafesthemrecollections，we-allisinther"arwareroomoftheNewYorkStorewherethewhiskeybar"lsbe，samplin"someValleyTanthat"sjestbeenfreightedin。Asshe"snewgoods，thatValleyTan，an"asourtrooviewstouchin"itsmeritsisimportanttothecamp，we"retestin"thebeverageplentyfreean"copious。Noexpertgentcangiveopinionsworthawhitechipconcernin"nosepaintshorto"sixdrinks，an"wewasn"touttomakenoerrorsinourfindin"saboutthatValleyTan。So，asIrelates，we"reallmebbysomefivedrinkstothegood，an"atlastthetalk，whichhasstrayedoverintothehighgrassan"isgettin"awholelottoolearnedan"profoundformostoftheherdtocutinon，settlesdownbetweenDocPeetsanColonelSterettasbein"theonlytwosportsabletoprotecttheirplaytharin。
"An"youcangoasfarasyoulikeonit，"saystheColoneltoPeets，"I"mplumbwisean"fullconcernin"thetransmigrationofsouls。Igivesitmyheartybeliefs。IcancountagentupthemomentIlooksathim；alsoIknowsexactlywhatheisbeforehe"sahoomanbein"。"
""That"transmigration"thata-way，"whispersDanBoggstoCherokeeHall，"ain"tnofoolofaword。I"llpranceoveran"pullitonRedDogto-morry。Whichit"sshoredootostrike"emdumb。"
""Nowyere"sHoppin"Harry，"goesontheColonelp"intin"toathin，blacklittlefelonwithlongha"rlikeapony，who"sstrayedoverfromTucson；"Igivesitoutcold，meanin"tharbynooffencetoourTucsonfriend——IgivesitoutcoldthatHoppin"Harryusedtobeat"rant"ler。First，"continyoostheColonel，stackin"Harryupmightyscientificwithhisopticjestshowin"overhisglass，"firstI
allowshe"satoad。Notahornedtoad，whichisavalyooedbeastan"
hasamission；butoneoftheseyereorneryformsoftoadswhichinfeststheEast。Thislastreptileisvulgar-sluggish，aanamileoffewifanyvirchoos；whilethehornedtoad，socalled，comerightdowntocases，ain"tnotoadnohow。It"safalsebrand，an"hedon"tbelongwiththetoadherdatall。Thehornedtoadisalizard——abroadkindo"lizard；an"asforbein"sluggish，youlethimhavesomethingonhismindspeshul，an"he"llshoregocareerin"aboutplumbswift。Moreover，hedon"thop，yourhornedtoaddon"t，likethemEasterntoads；hestandsuponhistoesan"paces——he"swhatwe-allcallsontheOhioRiverbackinmychildhood"ssunnyhours，"aside-wheeler。"Also，he"sgotatail。An"asforsperit，letmetellyouthis:——IhasahornedtoadwhereI"mcampedoverbytheTresHermanas，whereI"mdeer-huntin"。Iwinsthattoad"slovefromthejumpwithhunksofbreadan"salthossan"kindreddel"cacies。
Hedotesonme。Whentimehangsheavy，Ientertainsmyse"fwithadooelbetweenAugustus——Augustusbein"thehornedtoad"sname——，an"
aemptysardineboxforwhichheentertainsresentments。
"""Layforhim，Augustus!"I"dsay，atthesameinstantbattin"himinthenosewiththebox。
""Ofcourse，Augustusain"tgotsaveyenoughtorealizeIdoesit。
Heallowsit"stheboxthata-waymakin"malev"lentbluffsathim。
An"say，pards，itwouldhavemadeyouproudofyourcountryan"itsstarryflagtoseeAugustusarchhimse"fforwaronthemo"casions。
""NotthatAugustusismalignantorevildisposed，nacheral。No，sir；I"veyettomeetupwiththetoadwhohashissimple，even，gen"roustemperorlovin"heart；astrustfultoo，Augustusis，asthebabejestborn。Butlikeallnoblenachers，Augustusissensitive，an"heregyardsthembatsinthenoseasinsults。AsI
says，you-allshouldhaveseenhim!He"dpoisehimse"fonhistoes，erectthehornonhisnose，sameasoneoftheseyererhinocerosesofholywrit，an"thenthewayAugustushooksan"harassesthatoffensivesardineboxaboutthecampisalessontofolks。"
""Where"sthisyereAugustusnow？"asksDanBoggs，who"sgotallwroppedupintheColonel"snarratifs。
""Petered，"saystheColonel，an"thar"sfeelin"sinhistones；
"poreAugustuscashesin。He"sfollowin"meaboutonemornin"
watchin"mehookup——wewasgettin"readytomovecamp——an"allinadvertentIbacksthewagonontoAugustus。Thehindwheelgoessquar"overhiman"flattensAugustusoutcomplete。Hedieswithhiseyesfixedonme，an"hislookssaysasplainaslanguage，"Cheerup，Colonel!Thisyerecontreetempsdon"tchangemyaffections，forIknowsit"samisdeal。"You-allcangambleIdon"tdonothin"morethatdaybutmourn。"
""WhichIshouldshorelysayso!"saysDanBoggs，an"hisvoiceisshakin"；"a-losin"ofagiftedhornedtoadlikeAugustus!I"da-
howledlikeawolf。"
""ButasI"msayin"，"resoomestheColonel，aftercomfortin"himse"fwithaboutfourfingers；"speakin"ofthetransmigrationofsouls，I
goesoffwrongaboutHoppin"Harrythattime。Itakesit，heusedtobeoneoftheseyereEasterntoadsonaccountofhisgait。ButI"merroneous。Harry，whoislittlean"spryan"fullofp"isenthata-
way，usedtobeat"rant"ler。Anygentwho"lltakethetroubletorecalloneofthesehairy，hoppin"t"rant"lerspiderswhojumpssidewaysatyou，fullofragean"venom，isboundtoberemindedpartic"larofHoppin"Harry。"
""Whatdidyou-allusetobeyourse"f，Colonel？"asksEnright，whonoticesthatHoppin"Harryisbeginnin"tobristlesome，likeheain"tpleasednonewiththeseyererevelations。"Whatforaanamilewasyoubeforeyou"reahooman？"
""Iwasagood-nacheredhoss，"saystheColonelmightyconfidentan"
prompt；"I"magood-nacheredhossinacountryneighborhood，an"
everybodyridesmethatwantsto。However，Iallowswebettershiftthesubjectsome。Ifwe-alltalksabouttheseyereinsectsan"
reptilesalittlelonger，Hugginsoverthar——whoseoneweaknessishe"stoofrankwithan"putstoomuchconfidenceinhislicker——willhaveanotheroneofthemattacksofsecondsight，whichPeetscureshimofthattime，an"commenceseein"amultitoodofheinousvisions。"
""Ofcourse，"saysEnright，plumbp"lite，"ofcourse，Colonel，Icantellawholelotaboutyourfam"lybyjestlookin"atyou；
partic"larwhereasatpresentyou"reabouttendrinksahead；stillthar"snothin"givesmemorepleasurethanhearin"aboutthesirefromthecolt；an"ifyouwon"treceiveitresentful，I"daskyouastoyourfolksbackinKaintuck。"
""Asyou-allknows，"observesColonelSterett，"IwasfoaledinKaintucky；an"Imustadd，Ineverrecallsthatjestlycel"bratedcommonwealthwith-outasigh。Itsglories，sechastheywasbeforethewar，isfastdepartin"away。Inmyyooth，tharisnothin"butanobilityinKaintucky；leastwiseintheBlooGrasscountry，whereofI"maemanation。Webredhossesan"cattle，an"madewhiskeyan"
playedkyards，an"theblackfolksdoesthework。Wedescendsintonothin"solowaslaborinthemhalcyondays。Oursocialexistenceismadeupofweddin"s，infaresan"visitin""round；an"lifeintheBlooGrassisapleasantroundofchickenfixin"san"flourdoin"sfromoneChristmastoanother。"
""Sechdeescriptions，"remarksEnrightwithemotionan"drawin"thebackofhishandacrosshiseyes，"bringsbackmyyearlin"daysingoodoldTennessee。We-allisaheaplikeyouKaintucks，downourway。Wewasaroode，exyooberantoutfit；butmanlyan"sincere。It"stroolyaregionwheremenismen，asthatsportcommontoourneckoftimberknownas"thefirsteyeoutforaquartofwhiskey"
testifiestoample。Thar"smyolddad!Icanseehimyet，"an"yereEnrightcloseshiseyessomeecstatic。"Hewasashoreman。Hestoodahundred-footwithoutaknotorlimb；couldwrastleorrunorjump，an"wasgoodtocuta4-bitpieceatonehundredyards，offhand，withhisold8-squar"rifle。Henevershootssquirrels，myfatherdon"t；hebarks"em。An"fortoseetheskincracked，orsomuchasadropofbloodononeof"em，whenhepicksitup，wouldhavemortifiedtheoldgenttodeath。"
""Kaintuckytoahair，"assentedtheColonel，wholistenstoEnrightplentyraptthata-way。"An"thingsissoArcadian!Ifagenthasahouroffan"feelsfriendlyan"likeminglin"withhiskind，allhedoesissa"nteroveran"ringthetownbell。Nacherally，thecommoonityletsgoitsgripan"comestroopin"upallspraddledout。
Itdon"tknowifit"safire，itdon"tknowifit"safight，itdon"tknowifit"sabirth，itdon"tknowifit"sahossrace，itdon"tknowifit"sadrink；an"itdon"tcare。Thecommoonitykeepsitse"fframedupperpetyooaltoenjoyanyoneofthefive，an"
tharforeatthesaidsummonscomestroopin"，asIsay。""MygrandfatheristhefirstSterettwhoinvadesKaintucky，an"mynotionisthatheconiescurvin"inwithHarrod，Kenton，Boonean"
SimonGirty。Nooneknowswhereverdoeshecomefrom；an"noone"sgotthesandtoask，he"sthatdeadhaughtyan"reserved。Formyse"f，I"mnotfreightedtothegyardswithdetailstouchin"onmygrandfather；hepassesinhischipswhenmebbyI"mtenyearsold，an"theonlythingsabouthimI"mshoreofasachild，isthathe"sthegreatestmanonearthan"ownsallthelandsouthoftheOhioriver。
""ThisyeregrandfatherI"mtalkin"of，"continyoostheColonelafterag"inrefreshin"himse"fwithsometwentydrops，"livesinabighouseonabluffover-lookin"theOhio，an"callshisplace"TheHill。"Upacrossoneofthebigstonechimleysiscarved"JohnSterett，"thata-way；whichImentionsthesameasgoin"toshowheain"tafeardnoneofbein"followed，an"thatwhereverhedoescomep"intin"outfrom，thar"snorewardofferedforhisreturn。"
""Iain"tsoshoreneither，"interjectsTexasThompson。"Hemighthaveshiftedthecutan"changedhisname。Sechfeatsisfrequentdown"roundLaredowhereIhailsfrom，an"noquestionsasked。"
""Upontheroofofhisranch，"goesontheColonel，forhe"ssoimmersedinthemmem"rieshedon"thearTexaswhereheringsinhistheeries，"upontheroofmygrandfatherhasabigbell，an"theropeisbroughtdownan"fetchedthroughaaugerholeinthesideofthehouse，sohecanlayinbedifhefeelslikeit，an"ringthisyeretocsinofhiswhilesominded。An"youcanbetheshorelyringsher!Manyatimean"oftasachildaboutmymother"sknees，thesoundofthatringin"comesfloatin"touswheremyfatherhashishousefourmilesfurtherdowntheriver。Onsecho"casionsI"dupan"ask:
"""Whateveristhisyereringin"？"
"""Hesh，mychild!"mymotherwouldsay，smotherin"mymouthwithherhand，hervoicesinkin"toawhisper，forastheheadoftheHouseofSterett，everyoneofthetribeisplumbscaredofmygrandfatheran"mentionshimwithawe。"Hesh，mychild，"saysmymotherlikeIrelates，"that"syourgrandfatherringin"hisbell。"
""An"fromcalf-timetobeef-time，fromthefirstkyardoutoftheboxdowntotheturn，nooneeverknowswhymygrandfatherdoesringit，forhe"stooonbendin"totellofhisownaccord，an"asI
statesprior，nooneonearthhasgotnervean"forceofcharacterenoughtoaskhim。
""Myownfather，whosenameisthesameasmine，bein"WillyumGreeneSterett，istheoldestofmygrandfather"schil"en。He"sastern，quietgent，an"allusyoung-onesiswonttostephighan"
softlywheneverhe"spesterin""round。Herespectsnobodyexceptmygrandfather，fearsnothin"butgettin"outoflicker。
""Likemygrandfatherupat"TheHill，"myfatherdevotesallhistalentstoraisin"runnin"hosses，an"theoldfaunwouldhavebeenaheaplonesomeifthar"sfewerthanthreehundredheadanickerin"
aboutthebarnsan"pastures。Shore!wehasslavestoo；wehasniggerstoastand-still。
""AsIlookr"arwardtothemdaysofmyinfancy，Ibringstomindastaggerin"blowthatneighborhoodreceives。Astern-wheelersinksabouttwohundredyardsoffourlandin"withonethousandbar"lsofwhiskeyonboard。Whenthenewsofthatwhiskeycomesflyin"inland，itain"tacaseofindividyooalsnorneighborhoods，butwholecountiescomesstampedin"totherescoo。It"snouse；theboatbogsrightdowninthesand；inlessthananhourhersmokestackisonderwater。Allweevergetsfromthewrackisthebell，thesamenowadornin"aPresbyter"anchurchan"summonin"folkstothemservices。Itellsyou，gents，thethoughtsofthatWillowRun，an"
wenotabletosavesomuchasaquartofit，putsacrimpinthatcommoonitytheyain"tyetoutlived。It"mostdrives"emcrazy；theywalksthembanksformonthsa-wringin"theirhandsan"wishin"theimpossible。"
""Isanyonedrowned？"asksFaroNell，whocomesin，amomentbefore，an"asusualplantsherse"fclosttoCherokeeHall。"Istharanywomenorchildrenaboard？"
""Nell，"saystheColonel，"Iapol"gizesformyignorance，butI"mboundtoconfessIdon"tknow。Thar"snooneknows。Theawfulfactofthemonethousandbar"lsofWillowRunperishin"beforeourveryeyes，swallowsupallelse，an"minordetailsgetslostintheshufflean"stayslostforalltime。It"saturriblejolttothegeneralsensibilities，an"anygentwho"llgobacktharyetan"lookhardinthefacesofthempeople，canseetracesofthatc"lamity。
""Asachild，"resoomestheColonel，"I"mromanticawholelot。I"mcarriedawaybymusic。Myfav"riteairsis"Smith"sMarch，"an"
"CeaseAwhileClarion；ClarionWildan"Shrill。"Ieitherwantssomethingwithasobinit"like"CeaseAwhile，"orIdesiresWarwithallherhorrors，sameasagentgetsdisheduptohimin"Smith"sMarch。"
""Also，IreadsScott"s"Ivanhoe，"ainlongstobeacroosader，an"
slayPaynims。IusedtolieonthebankbytheoldOhio，an"shetmyeyesag"inthebrightnessofthesky，an"figgeronthemsetbackswe"dmeteouttoaPayaimifonlywemighttreeoneonceinoldKaintucky。WhichthatSaracenwouldhaveshorelybecomethebasisofsomeceremonies!
""MostlikeIwasaboutthirteenyearsoldwhentheConfederacydeclar"sherse"fanation，electsJeffDavisPresident，an"frontsupfortrouble。Formyse"fIconcedesnow，thoughIsorto"smothersmyfeelin"sonthatp"intatthetime，seein"we-allcouldlookrightoverintothestateofOhio，saidstatebein"heatedlyinimicaltorebellionan"pawin"fortroublean"rappin"itshornsag"inthetreesatthemereidee；formyse"f，Isay，InowconcedesthatIwasheartan"soulwiththeSouthinthemonhappyruptures。I
breathedan"livedwithbutoneambition，whichistotearthisdevotedcountryintwointhemiddlean"leavethefragmentsthata-
way，inoppositefields。Myfather，stern，ca"m，c"llected，don"tsharethevoylenceofmysentiments。Hetookthemiddleag"intheendsforhis。Theattitoodeofourstateisthatofnootrality，an"
myfatherdeclar"dfornootralitylikewise。Mygrandfatherisdeadatthetime，sohisexampleslosttous；butmyfather，sorto"
projectin""roundforp"sition，decidesitwouldbeonfairinhimtothrowtheweightofhisvalortoeitherside，sohestandsapathandonthatembroglio，declineskyards，an"asIstatesisnootral。
WhichIknowhe"snootralbyonething:
"""Willyum，"he"dsaythata-waywhenhe"dnoticemeorganizin"togodowntothevillage；"Willyum，"he"dsay。"ifanybodyasksyouwhatyoube，an"speshulifanyofthemYankeesasksyou，youtell"emthatyou"reUnion，butyourememberyou"resecesh。"
""TheSterettfam"ly，ondoubted，isthesmartestfam"lyintheSouth。MybrotherJeff，whoisfiveyearsolderthanme，givesproofsofthis，partic"lar。It"sJeffwhoinventsthatenterpriseinfishin"，whichforidleness，profitan"pastime，ain"tneverbeenequalledsincetheflood，called"Juggin"forCats。"It"sJeff，too，oncewhenheupsan"jinesthechurch，an"istharafterpreyedonwiththefactthatthechurchowestwohundreddollars，andthatitlookslikenobodycaresatwo-bitpieceaboutitexceptjesthim，whohiresamerry-go-round——oneoftheseyerecontraptionswithwoodenhosses，an"ahewgagplayin"toonesinthecenter——fromCincinnati，setsherupontheGreeninfrontofthechurch，makestheantetencents，an"paysoffthechurchdebtintwomonthswiththerevenoostharof。
""AsIsitsyere，arelatin"ofthemexploits，"an"ColonelSteretttipsthecanteenforanotherhooker，"asIsitsyere，gents，allfreean"sociablewithwhat"s，barnone，thefinestbodyofgentsthateveryanksacorkordrainsabottle，I"veseenthenobilityofKaintucky——theBlooGrassVere-de-Veres——rideuponabloodhoss，hitchthecrittertothefence，an"throwawayafortunebuckin"
Jeff"smerry-go-roundwiththemwoodensteeds。It"sasIsays:thatsanctooaryisplumboutofdebtan"onvelvet——hasabankrollbigenoughtostoppera2-gallonjugwith——ineightweeksfromthetimeJeffonfurlshislay-outan"opensuphisgame。"
"Thar"sonething，"suddenlyobservedmyagedcompanion，asheeyedmenarrowly，pausingintheinterestingColonelSterett"srelationconcerninghisfamily，andbecomingdoublyimpressivewithanupliftedfore-finger，"thar"sonethingIdesiresyoutofullygrasp。AsIreelsoffthisyerechronicle，you-allisnottoconsidermeasrepeatin"theColonel"swordsexact。Iain"tgiftedliketheColonel，an"myEnglishain"tamarkertohis。TheColonelcarriesthelanguagequiledupan"hangin"atthesaddlehornofhisintelligence，likeacowpuncherdoeshislariat。An"whenhe"sgotreadytoropean"throwafactortwo，youshouldoughterseehimtakeherdownan"gotowork。Hornorneckoranyfootyousays；
it"sallonetotheColonel。Bigorlittleloop，inthebreshorintheopen，it"sacinchtheColonelfastenseverytimehethrowshisverbalrope。Thefacthe"safterthata-way，isshoretheColonel"s。
DocPeetsinformsmeprivatethatColonelSterettisthegreatestartist，oral，ofwhichhis"tryrecordsthebrand，an"youcangobrokeonPeets"sknowin"。An"thar"sothertest"mony。
""Idon"tlaydownmyhand，"saysTexasThompson，onetimewhenhiman"meisalone，"toanygentbetweentheRioGrandean"theOregon，onsizin"upaconversation。An"I"llimparttoyou，holdin"nothin"
back，thattheColonelisshorelythelimit。Merelytolisten，isanembarrassmentofgoodthings，likeopenin"afive-handjack-potonaace-full。Hecanevenout-talkmyformerwife，theColonelcan，an"
thatesteemableladypackstherecordasaconversationistinLaredoforfiveyearsbeforeIleaves。She"sadmittedlytheshorestshotwithhermouthonthatrange。Talkin"atamark，orinaction，allyouhastodoisgivetheladythedistancean"letherfixhersightsonce，an"she"llstandthar，withoutarest，an"slamobservationafterobservationintothebull"seyetillyou"llbeabashed。An"yet，comparedtotheColonelyere，thatladystutters!"
"Butnowtoresoome，"saidmyfriendwhenhehadsufficientlycometotherescueofColonelSterettandgivenhimhisproperplaceinmyestimation；"we"lltakeupthethreadoftheColonel"sremarkswhereIleavesoff。
""Mygrandfather，"saystheColonel，"isagentofiron-boundhabits。Hehashisroolesan"henevertransgresses"em。Thefirstfivedaysoftheweek，helimitshimse"ftofifteendrinksperdiem；
Saturdayherideseightmilesdowntothevillage，castsasiderestraints，an"goesthedistance；Sundayhedevotestomeditations。
""Thar"stimeswhenIinclinestothenotionthatmygrandfatherpossessespartic"laraptitoodesforstrongdrink。ThisI"llsaywithoutnothoughtsofboastin"，he"stheonelonegentwhereofI
hasaknowledge，whocangiveathree-ringdebauchonderonecanvasinoneevenin"。AsIstates，mygrandfather，reg"lareverySaturdaymornin"，ridesdowntotheCenter，fourmilesbelowourhouse，an"
beginstocrookhiselbow，keepin"noaccountsan"permittin"nocompunctions。This，iftheoldgentisfeelin"fitan"likely，keepsupaboutsixhours"atwhichepock，mygrandfatherisbeginnin"tofeellikehislaigsisaburdenan"walkin"alostart。That"swherethepop"lacegetsaction。Theonlookers，whentheynoteshowmyancestor"slaigsthata-wayisattemptin"toassoomethesoopremedirectionofaffairs，sorto"c"llectshiman"putshiminthesaddle。Settin"tharonhishoss，mygrandfatherisallright。Hiscenterofgrav"tyisshiftedan"locatedmoretohisadvantage。I
esteemsitoneofthemevidencesofasooperiordesignintheyooniverse，an"aplainproofthatthingsdon"tcomebychance，thatlongafteragentcan"twalknone，he"splumbabletoride。
""Oncemygrandfatherissafeinhissaddle，asIrelates，he"sdue——
himan"hishoss，thislastbein"anonusualsagaciousbeastwhichecallshis"Saturdayhoss"——tolingeraboutthestreets，an"
collab"ratewiththepublicformebbyfivemoredrinks；followin"
whichlastlibations，hegoesrackin"offfor"TheHill。"
""UpatourhouseonSaturdays，myfatherallersthrowsaskirmishlineofniggersacrosstheroad，withorderstocapturemygrandfatherashecomesromancin"along。An"themfaithfulservitorsneverfails。Theyswarmsdownonmygrandfather，searcheshimoutofthesaddlean"packshimexultin"lyan"lovin"lyintocamp。
""Oncemygrandfatherisplantedinacha"r，withacoupleofminionsoneachsidetosteadythedeal，theothersbeginstolineouttofetchreestoratifs。I"mtoolittletotakeatrickmyse"f，an"Icanrememberhowonthemimpressifoccasions，Iwouldstandan"lookathim。I"dthinktomyse"f——Iwasmebbyeightatthetime，——"He"sondoubtedthegreatestmanonearth，butmy!howblurredheis!"
""WhichasIstatesyeretofore，theSterettsystemisthepatriarchalsystem，an"onean"allweyieldsdeferencetomygrandfatherastheonchallengedchiefofthetribe。To"llustratethis:Onedaymyfather，who"sbeentryin"outatwo-year-oldonourlittleoldquarter-miletrack，startsforTheHill，takin"mean"aniggerjockey，an"a-leadin"ofthesaidtwo-year-oldraceralong。
Oncewearrivesatmygrandfather"s，myfatherleavesusallstandin"intheyardandreepairsintothehouse。Thenextminutehiman"mygrandfathercomesout。Theydon"tsaynothin"，butmygrandfathergoesalloverthetwo-year-oldwitheyesan"handformightylikelytenminutes。Atlasthestraightensupan"turnsonmyfatherwithafaceloadedtothemuzzlewithrage。
"""WillyumGreeneSterett，"hesays，conferrin"onmyparenthisfullname，thesamebein"aheapominous；"WillyumGreeneSterett，you"vebroughtthatthingtoTheHilltobeatmyGolddust。"
"""Yes，"saysmyfather，mightysteady，"an"I"llgorightoutonyourtracknow，father，an"letthatblackboyridehiman"I"llgambleyouallathousanddollarsthatthattwo-year-oldbeatsGolddust。"
"""WillyumGreeneSterett，"saysmygrandfather，lookin"atmyfatheran"beginnin"tobile，"I"veputupwithaheapfromyou。Youwasowdaciousasachild，worthlessasayooth，an"aspend-thriftasayoungmangrown；an"ascoreoftimesI"vepaidyourdebtsaswasmydootyastheheadoftheHouseofSterett。Butyoureservesitforyourforty-ninthyear，an"whenI"minmyseventy-ninthyear，toperformyourcrownin"outrage。You"vebroughtthatthingtoTheHilltobeatmyGolddust。Nowletmetellyousomethin"，an"it"llbewateronyourwheelawholelot，togiveheedtothatIsays。Yougetontoyourhoss，an"yougetyourchildWillyumontohishoss，an"yougetthatniggerboyontohishoss，an"yougetoffthisHill。An"asyougo，letmegiveyouthiswarnin"。Ifyou-allevermakesamoccasintrackinthemudofmypremisesag"in，I"llfillyoufullofbuckshot。"
""An"asIsays，toshowthevenerationinwhichmygrandfatherisheld，thar"snotanotheryeepouto"anyofus。Withmyfatherinthelead，wefilesoutforhome；an"tharaftertheeepisodeisnevermentioned。
""An"now，"saysColonelSterctt，"aswe-allisaboutequippedtoreportjoodiciouslyastothemeritsofthespeshulcaskofValleyTanwe"vebeensamplin"，I"llbringmynarratiftotheclosin"
chaptersinthelifeofthisgrandoldman。Thar"sthistobeobserved:TheSterettfam"lyiseminentfortwothings:itgetseverythingitneeds；an"itnevergetsittillitneedsit。Doesitneedagun，orahoss，oradrink，theSterettfam"lyproceedswiththeround-up。Itbefallsthatwhenmygrandfatherpasseshiseightiethyear，hedecidesthatheneedsreligion。
"""It"sabouttime，"hesays，"formetobeginlayin"upatreasureabove。I"mgoin"oneighty-onean"myluckcan"tlastforever。"
""Somygrandfatherhesetsupinbedan"heperoosesthemscripturesforfourmonths。Itellyou，gents，heshorelysearchesthatholybookawholelot。An"thenheputsituphe"llbebaptized。Also，thathe"llenterdownintothewateran"riseupoutofthewaterlikeit"sblazonedinthemtexts。
""Seein"she"sJanyooaryatthetime，withtwofootofsnowontheground，itlookslikemygrandfatherwillhavetopostponethemrites。Buthecouldn"tbebluffed。Mygrandfatherreachesoutofbedan"heringsthatbellItellsyou-allof，an"proceedstoconvenehisniggers。Hecommands"emtocutdownabigwhitewoodtreethatlivesdowninthebottoms，hollowoutthebuttlogforatrough，an"
haulherupalongsidether"arveranda。
""Foraweekthar"saincessant"chip!chop!"oftheaxes；an"thenwithsixyokeofsteers，thetroughisbroughtintocamp。It"slongenoughan"wideenoughan"deepenoughtoswimacolt。
""Thedayforthebaptizin"isset，an"theSterettfam"lycomestrackin"in。Thar"stwohundredof"em，corralcount。Thewholeoutfitstands"roundwhilethewaterisheatin"fortocliptheoldgent。Myfather，whoisthedep"tychiefan"nextincommand，istyrannizin"aboutan"assoomin"todealthegame。"Thar"sabigfireatwhichthey"reheatin"therockswherewithtoraisethetemperatoorofthewater。ThefireisonderthepersonalchargeofafaithfuloldniggernamedBen。Whenoneofthemstonesisredhot，Bentakestwosticksfortongsan"dropsitintothetrough。Thar"sabilean"abuzzan"ageyserofsteam，an"nowan"thentherockexplodesalotan"sendsthewaterspoutin"totheeaves。It"sallplentythrillin"，youcanbet!"Myfather，asIstates，ispervadin"
about，soclothedwithdignity，bein"aftermygrandfatherthenextchickenontheroost，thatyoucan"tgetnearenoughtohimtoborryaplugoftobacco。Onceinawhilehe"dshaseeupan"stickhishandinthewater。Itwouldbetoohot，mebby。"""Yere，youBen!"he"droar。"Whatbeyouaimin"at？Doyou-allwanttokilltheoldmanDoyouthinkyou"rescaldin"ahawg？""ThenthisyereBen；wouldgetconscience-strickenan"pourinabar"lortwoofcoldwater。Inaminutemyfatherwouldtestitag"inan"say:
"""Ben，youshorelyarefailin"inyourintellects。Yerethisisascoldasice；you"llgivetheoldmanachill。""Final，however，thewaterisdeclar"dright，an"thenoutcomesabraceofniggers，packin"mygrandfatherinablanket，withthepreacherpreevail。inoverallasoffishulfloor-managerofthefestiv"ties。That"showitends:mygrandfatherisbaptizedan"getsreligioninhiseighty-
firstyear，A。D。；an"twodayslaterhesetsinhischips，shoveshischa"rbackan"goesshoutin"home。
"""BeIcertainofheaven？"hesaystothepreacher，whenhe"sdowntotheturn。"BeIwinneraccordin"toyourroolesan"tenets？"
"""Yourplaceisprovided，"saysthepreacher，thata-way。"""Ifit"sasgoodaplaceasoldKaintucky，theyshorelyain"tgoin"tohavenofussnortroublewithme，an"that"swhatever!"""
CHAPTERX。
HowtheDumbManRode。
"Now，Idon"treckonnone，"remarkedtheOldCattlemanwithaconfidentialair，"thisyeredumbman"incidenteverarisestomymindag"in，ifitain"tforagentwhosetrailIcutswhileI"mprojectin""roundthepost-officeforletters。
"It"sthismornin"，an"I"mgettin"letters，asIstates，whenI
catchesthisoldpartysorto"beamin"onmefrankan"free，likehe"sshoreafriendlyInjun。Atlasthesa"ntersoveran"remarks，"Whateverisyourcallin"，pard？"orsomesechbluffasthat。"I
seeshe"sgoodpeoplefastenough；stillIallowsasmall，briefjoltmebbydoeshiregood。
""Well，"Isays，intendin"tolethimknowI"malivean"wakefulthata-way；"well，whatevermycallin"is，atleastitain"tbeennopartofmybringin"uptoletmerestrangersstrollintothecorralan"cinchasaddleontomeforaconversationalcanter，jestbecausethey"redisp"sitionedthata-way。""Nooffencemeant，"saystheoldparty，an"Iobserveshegrowsredan"ashamedplumbuptohiswhiteha"r。"Excuseme，amigo，"Isays，handin"outmypaw，whichheseizesallradiantan"soon，"Iain"tintendin"nothin"blunt，nortoslamnodooronbetteracquaintance，butwhenyou——allropesatmeaboutwhatyoureferstoasmy"callin""thattime，Iain"tjestlookin"forastrangertotakesechinterestinme，an"I"mstartledintobein"onp"lite。Itharforetendersregrets，an"，startin"allover，stateswithoutreservethatI"macowman。"An"now，"I
retorts，further，"merelytoplaymyhandout，an"notthatIlookstotakeatrickatall，letmeaskwhatpursootsdoyoup"intoutonasapretextforlivin"？"
""Me？"saystheoldparty，stabbin"athisshirtbosomwithhisthumb；"me？I"mascientist。"""Whichthenewsisexhilaratin"an"
interestin"，"Isays；"shakeag"in!Ifthar"sonethin-Iregyardshigh，it"sascientist。Whateverpartic"larwagon-trackdoyou-allfollowoff，mayIask？""It"sthenthisoldgentan"Ila"nchesintoagen"raldiscussionondertheheadofmes"lancousbusiness，I
reckons，an"lieputsituphislongsuit，ashecallsit，is`moralepidemics。"Hesayshe"swroteonebookonto"em，an"sw"ar:；he"llwriteanotherifnobodyheadshimoff；thesamebein"on-likely。AsheseeshowI"minterested，theoldsportsetsdownan"laysitouttomehowsentimentsgoesinherdsan"droves，sameasweatheran"
thingslikethat。""Onedayyourollsoutinthemornin"，"thisoldgentdeclar"s，`an"tharyoureadshoweverybodycommitssooicide。
Thensomeotherdayit"smurder，thenrobbery，an"ag"in，thewholeround-upgoestoholdin"themchurchmeetin"san"gettin"religion。
Them"swaves；moralepidemics，"hesays。
"Whichthisdon"tlooksoegreegiousnoneasastatement，neither，an"soafterpow-wowin"alot，allcomplacentan"genial，Itellstheoldgenthe"sgotagoodgame，an"Ithinksmyse"fhissystemhasp"ints。Atthis，headmitshe"sflattered；an"then，aswe"regettin"totheendsofourlariats，wetipsoursombrerostoeachotheran"letsitgoatthat。To-morryhe"sgoin"toconferonmehisbook；whichImeanstoreadit，an"thenI"llsaveymoreabouthislittleplay。
"But，"continuedmyfriend，warmwithhisnewphilosophy，"thisyereisallpreelim"nary，an"bringsmebacktowhatIremarksatthejump；thatwhatthatoldgenturgesrecallsthisdumban"deefmanincident；whichitsorto"backshisplay。It"satimewhenapasselofusgetsovercomebywavesofsentimentthata-way，an"notonlyturnsahoss-thieflooseentire，afterthefelon"sdonebeenrundown，butBoggswaxesthatsloppyhelavishesahossan"saddleontohim；likewisesympathy，an"wisheshimluck。
"Thewholeracket"sthatonnacheralIneverdoesquitwonderin"
aboutit；butnowthisoldsciencesharpexpoundshistheoryof"moralepidemics，"itgetscl"aredupinmymind，an"Ireckons，ashesays，it"sshorelyoneofthemwaves。
"Tellthestory？Thar"snothin"muchtosaidyarn，onlytheonpreecedentedleeniencywherewithwewindsitup。Inthefirstplace，Idon"tknowwhatthishoss-thief"snameis，forhe"splumdeefan"dumb，an"ain"tsayin"aword。Iseeshimhoverin""round，butIdon"tsaynothin"tohim。Iobserveshimonceortwicewritethingstofolkshehastotalkwithonapieceofpaper，butit"stooslowaracketforme，toomuchlikeconversin"byfreightthata-way，an"Ideclinestostandinonit。Idon"tliketowritewellenoughtogoopenin"acorrespondencewithstrangerswho"sdeefan"
dumb。
"Whenhefirstdawnsonthecamp，hehasmoney，moderateatleast，an"hegetsinonpoker，an"stud，an"otherdeviceswhichisopenan"common；an"gentswho"swithhimatthetimesayshehasalevelnotionofhands，an"inthelongrun，mebby，amassesalittlewealth。
"WhileIain"tpayin"muchheedtohim，Idoheartowardsthelastofhisstayashowhegoesbrokeag"instfaro-bank。Butasgentsoftengoesbrokeag"instfaro-bank，an"as，introoth，Itastessechreversesonceortwicemyse"f，theinformationdon"texcitemenoneatthetime，norlateron。
"It"smightylikelysomelittlespacesincethisdumbpersonhitscamp，an"thar"sanoutfitofusramblin""roundintheRedLight，which，sotospeak，istheWolfvilleClub，an"killin"timebytalkin"。DaveTuttan"TexasThompsonisholdin"forthateachotherontheefficacyofpray"r，an"thebalanceofusisbein"edified。
"ItlookslikeTexashasbeentellin"ofaMexicanheseeslynchedatLaredoonetime，an"howatendergentringsinsomeorisonsbeforeevertheyswingshimoff。Texasobjectstothempray"rsan"
brands"emashypocrisies。Ashappensfrequent——forbothispowerfuldebatersthata-way——DaveTuttlockshornswithTexas，an"theybothprances"roundoratoricalateachothermightyentertainin"。
""Nowyougentsonderstand，"saysTexasThompson，"Iain"tsayin"awordaboutthempray"rsasmeresupplications。I"myeretostateI
regyards"emasexcellent，an"thar"sgentsatthattimepresentwho"sexpertsinsechappealsan"whoknowswhatprayin"is，whoallowsthatforfervency，bottoman"speed，theyshorelymakestherecordforwhatyoumightcalloff-handpray"rsinSouthernTexas。
Tharain"tapreachershortofWacoorDallascouldhaveturnedasmoothertrick。ButwhatIcomplainsofis，it"sonconsistent。"
""Howeverisprayin"thata-wayonconsistent，I"dshorelyliketoknow？"saysTutt，stackin"inag"inTexasplentyscornful。
""Why，thisa-way，"saysTexas。"Yere"sagentwhoassembleswithhispeerstohangaMexican。Asafirstflashoutenthebox，heputsupastrongpray"rtalktogetthiscrim"nalbytheheavenlygate。
Now，whateverdoyoureckonasaintwhoknowshisbusinessisgoin"
tosaytothat？YerestandsthisconceitedLaredopartyrecommendin"
foradmissiononhighaMexicanhe"she"pin"tolynchasnotgoodenoughforTexas。Ifthempowersaboveain"tallowin"thatprayin"
party"sgothisnervewithhim，theyain"tgivin"thecasethestudywhichisshoreitsdoo。"
""WhichIdon"tknow!"saysTutt。"Idon"tacceptthemviewsnohow。
Prayin"islikegoin"blindinpoker。Allyoudoishopeawholelot。Iftheangelstakesstockinyourapplications，wellan"good。
Iftheydon"t，youcangambleyourspursthey"replentyabletoprotectthemse"fs。Allyoucandoisfilethemsupplications。Theangelslets"emgoorturns"emdownaccordin"。Now，IholdsthatthisLaredosportwhopraysthattimedoesright。Thar"snothin"
likeashowdown；an"hisplay，sincehevolunteerstorideherdontheGreaser"ssoul，istodoallheknows，an"winoutifhecan。"
""That"swhatever!"saysDanBoggs，who"slistenin"fullofinterest，an"whoallowshe"llbuttinonthetalk。"Ij"ineswithTuttinthis。Mynotionis，whenitcomesagent"sturntopray，lethimpray，an"notgopesterin"himse"fwithvainsurmisesastohowit"sgoin"tostrikethemhostsonhigh。Youcanwageryouain"tgoin"toride"roundOmnipotencenone。Youcandrawuptothelayoutoflife，an"fromthecradletothegrave，you"llnotpickupnosleepersonProvidencethata-way。Now，once，whenI"moveracrosstheMogallonPlateau，I——"
"ButweneverdoeshearwhathappenstoBoggsthattimeoveracrosstheMogallonPlateau；forwhenhe"sthatfaralong，oneoftheniggersfromthecorralcomesscurryin"upan"asksTexasThompsondoeshelendhispintoponyanhourbacktothepartywho"sdeefan"
dumb。
""WhichIshorelydon"t，"saysTexas。"Youdon"taimtotellmenonehe"sdonegotawaywithmypintohoss？"
"Theniggersayshedoes。Heannouncesthatmebbyanhourbefore，thispartycomesovertothecorral，makesamotionortwowithhishands，cinchesthehullontothepinto，an"linesoutforthenortheastontheSilverCitytrail。He"sbeenplumboutensightformore"nhalfanhour。
""WhichIlikesthat!"saysTexasThompson。"Forbroad，open-air，noon-dayhoss-stealin"，Ioffersevenmoneythisdumbgent"senterpriseisentitledtotheredticket。"
"Whichweain"tstandin"thartalkin"long。Ifthar"sonereformtowhichtheentireWestdevotesitse"f，it"sbreakin"peopleofthishabitofhoss-stealin"。Itain"tnotimewhenfourofusisoffonthedumbparty"strail，an"halfofthatisconsoomedintakin"adrink。
"WhyeverbegentsintheWestsosotag"inhoss-thieves？Son，youabidesinaregionatoncepop"lousan"fertile。Butifyouwastoputinthreemonthsonacactusdesert，withwaterholesfiftymilesapart，itwouldbegintoglimmeronyouastowhatitmeanstofindyourse"fafoot。Itwouldcomeoveryoulikealandslidethatthepartywhostealsyourhosswouldhaveimprovedyourconditioninlifeaheapifhe"dplayedhishandoutbyshootin"aholethroughyourheart。
"No，Iain"tinnosechhurrytohangpeopleforstandin"inonsomekillin"。Thar"stwosidestoakillin"；an"ifdeceasedisframedupwithagunallreg"laratthetime，itgoesalongwaytowardexculpatin"ofthesportwhooutliveshim。Buttharain"tonlyonesidetohoss-stealin"，an"thesoonertheparty"sstrunguporplugged，thesoonerthar"savict"ryfortheright。
"AsIremarks，itain"ttwominuteswhenthar"sfourofusgoneswarmin"offafterthedumbmanwho"sgotTexasThompson"spintopony。Fromthetracks，heain"tmakin"noplaytothrowusoff，forhemaintainsastraight-awayrundowntheSilverCitytrail，an"
neverleavesitordoublesonce。
"Runnin"ofthedumbmandowndon"tturnoutnoarduoustask。It"sdoomainly，however，becausethepintosticksacactusthorninitshoofan"goeslameinlesstimetharafterthanittakestoturnajack。
""Handsup，"saysTexas，gettin"thedropasweswingsuponthedeefan"dumbfoogitive。
"Butthar"snoneedofsechpreecautions，asthedumbpartyain"tpackin"noweepons——notsomuchasaknife。
"Thar"snothin"tosay，notalktomake，whenwetakeshim。Texasheftshimoutenthesaddlean"ropeshiselbowsbehindwithalariat。
""Whatdoyou-allsu"gest，gents？"saysTexas。"Is"posenowthedeecorouswayistogoonwiththisyereaggressivean"energeticpersontothempinontreesahead，an"hanghimsome？"
""Whichthar"snodoubtsfloatin"inanybody"smindonthatsubject，"saysDanBoggs，"butI"dshoreadmiretoknowwhothispartyis，an"wherehe"sheadin"to。Idislikestostretchtheneckofstrangersthata-way；an"ifthar"sanygent，now，whocanaskthisyerepersonwhoheis，an"whathe"sgottosay，I"dtakeitasafavor，personal，ifhe"dbeginmakin"oftheneededmotions。""Buttharain"tnoneofuscaninstitootethemgestures；an"whenthedumbman，onhisside，putsupafewbluffswithhisfingers，it"saheaptoocomplicatedforusasameansofmakin"statements。""I
shorecouldn"ttell，"saysDaveTutt，ashesetswatchin"thedumbman"splay，"whetherhe"scallin"usnamesoraskin"forwhiskey。"
""Whichifwe"dthoughttobringsomestationery，"saysTexas，afterwe-allgoesthroughourwar-bagsinvain，"wemightopensomesuccessfulnegotiationswiththisperson。Asitis，however，we"replumbupag"instit，an"Ireckon，Boggs，he"llhavetohangwithoutyouan"himbein"formallyintrodooced。"""Jestthesame，Iwishes，"
saysDaveTutt，"thatDocPeetsorEnrightwasalong。They"dshoredigsomethin"outenthiscitizen。"""Mebbyhe"sgotpapersinhiswamus，"saysBoggs，"whichonfoldsconcernin"him。Gothroughhim，Texas，anyhow:"AllTexascanfindonthedumbmanisoneletter；
thepostmark:whenwecomestodecipherthesame，showsheonlygetsitthatmornin"。Besidesthisyeresinglemissifthata-way，tharain"tascrapofnothin"elsetohim；noryetnowealth。
""Telluswhat"sintheletter，"saysTexas，turnin"thedocumentovertoBoggs。"Readherout，Dan；I"dplaythehand，butIhastorideherdontheculprit。"
""Ican"treadit，"saysBoggs，handin"thenotetoTutt；"Ican"treadreadin"，letalonewritin"。ButI"mfreetosay，evenwithouthearin"thatdocumentnone，thatIshorelyhesitatestostringthispartyup。Bein"tongueless，an"nothearin"alickmore"nadders，somehowhekeepsappealin"tomelikehe"slocoed。"
""Whichifyoueverhasthepleasuretoplaysomepokerwithhim，"
saysTutt，asheonfoldsthepaper，"likeIdothreenightsago，youwouldn"tbeannoyin"yourse"fabouthisbein"locoed。Ifindshimplentydeepan"wary，nottosayplumbcrafty。Anotherthing，it"splainhenotonlygetsletters，butwe-allseeshimwriteabouthisdrinkstoBlackJack，theRedLightbarkeep，an"sim"larplays。"
"Bythistime，Tutt"sgottheletteropen，an"isgettin"readytoread。Thedumbman"sbeenstandin"tharallthetime，withhisarmsropedbehindhim，an"lookin"likehopehasdied；an"alsolikeheain"tcarin"muchaboutitneither。WhenTuttturnsopentheletter，Inoticesthetearskindo"startinhiseyes，sameasifhe"ssomeaffectedsentimental。
""Whichthisyerecommoonicationisplentybrief，"saysTutt，asherumshiseyeoverit。"She"sdated"CasaGrande，"an"readsasfollows，towit:
""DearBen:Myraisdyin"；comeatonce。A。"""Now，whoeverdoyoureckonthisyereMyrais？"asksTutt，lookin""round。"she"scashin"
in，that"sobvious；an"I"mputtin"itupshe"smightylikelyawifeorsomethin"ofthisyeredumbparty。"""That"sit，"saysBoggs。"HegetsthiswordthatMyra"sgoin"overthebigdivide，an"bein"he"sgonebrokeentireonfaro-bank，heplungesovertothecorralan"
rustlesThompson"shoss。Ondersechcircumstances，Iain"tnoneshorehe"srespons"ble。Itake-ittharain"tmuchdoubtbutMyra"shiswifethata-way，inwhicheventmyideeisheonlyborrysThompson"spinto。Whichnacherally，asIfreelyconcedes，thislastdependsonMyra"sbein"hiswife。"""Oh，notnecessarily，"saysTexasThompson；"thar"saheapofwiveswhodon"tjestifyhosstealiil"alittlebit。NowIplaysitopen，Myra"sthisdumbgent"smother，an"onsechatheeryan"thatalone，Iremovesthelariatfromhisarmsan"throwshimloose。Butdon"ttrytorunnowifebluffonme；I"vebeenthroughthewifequestionwithablazin"
pine-knotinmyhand，an"thar"snothin"worthwhileconcealedtharin。"""WhichIadoptstheainendiricnt，"saysBoggs，"an"onsecondthought，IstringsmychipswithTexas，thatthisyereMyra"shismother。I"vegotthemoneythatsaysso。"""Atanyrate，"saysTutt，"fromallIsees，Ireckonsit"sthegeneralnotionthatwecallsthisthingadraw。Wecan"taffordtogomakin"apreecedentofhangin"agentforhoss-stealin"who"sonlydoin"hisbesttobepresentatthisMyra"sfooneral，whoevershemaybe。It"saheapdisgustin"，however，thatwecan"topenupatalkwiththisparty。
WhichInownotesbytheaddresshisnameisMcIntyre。""An"soitturnsoutthatinnotime，fromfourgentswho"sdeadsettohangthisdumbmanasaboss-thief，weturnsintoasympatheticoutfitwhichisdiggin"holesforhisescape。Italldovetailsinwithwhatmyscientistsaysthismornin"aboutthemmoralepidemics，"an"
thingsgoin"thata-wayinwaves。For，afterall，MyraornoMyra，thisyeredumbmanstealsthatpintohoss。"However，whetherit"srightorwrong，weturnsthedumbmanfree。Notonlythat，butBoggsgetsoutofthesaddlean"giveshimhisponytopursoothemrambleswith。""Igivesittohimbecauseit"sthebestponyintheoutfit，"
saysBoggs，lookin"savageatus，asheputsthebridleinthedumbgent"shands。"Itcanrunlikeaantelope，thatponycan；an"that"swhyIdonatesittothisdumbparty。Oncehe"sstarted，evenifwe-
allchangesourmoods，he"sshorean"safeawayforgood。Moreover，agentwhosemother"sdyin"，can"thavetoogoodahoss。Ifhedon"tsteponnomorecactus，an"halfrides，he"sdootogochargin"intoCasaGrandebeforetheylosesMyra，easy。""
CHAPTERXI。
HowPrinceHatGotHelp。
"Comeyere，youboyTorn。"ItwastheOldCattlemanaddressinghisblacksatellite。"Stampedeuptotheirroomsofminean"fetchmemyhat；theonewiththesnakeskinband。Myheadain"tfeelin"nonetoowell，owin"tothebarkeepofthishostelrychangin"mydrinks，an"
thatrattlesnakebandoughterabsorbthemachesan"clar"fymyroominationsaheap。Now，vamos!"hecontinued，asTomseemedtohesitate，"thebigStetsonwiththesnakeskinontoit。
"An"howbeyoustackin"upyours"ef？"observedtheoldgentleman，turningtomeashisdarkagentvanishedinquestofhead-bear。
"Whichyoushorelylooksaswornan"wearyasacalfjestbranded。
It"lldoyougoodtowalkalot；bettercomewithme。Isorto"
orig"natesthenotionthatI"llgoswarmin"aboutpermiscusthismornin"forahourorso，ancirk"latemyblood，an"you-alliswelcometoattachyourse"ftothescheme。Thar"snothin"likeexercise，thata-way，asGriefMudlowallowswhenheurgeshiswifetotakeinwashin"。You"vedoneheardofGriefMudlow，thelaziestmaverickinTennessee？"
IgavemywordthatnotsomuchasarumorofthepersonMudlowhadreachedme。Myfriendexpressedsurprise。ItwasnowthattheblackboyTomcameupwiththedesiredhat。Tommadehisapproachwithaqueerbackwardandforwardshuffle，crooningtohimselfthewhile:
"Raincomewetme，suncomedryme。
Takekeer，whiteman，don"tcomenighme。""Stopthatdouble-
shufflin"an"wingdancin"，"remonstratedtheoldgentlemanseverely，ashetookthehatandfixeditonhishead。"Idon"twantnofrivolitiesan"merry-makin"s"roundme。Whichyou"realwaysjumpin"an"dancin"likeoneoftheseyeresnapjackbugs。Iain"taimin"atpompousnessnone，butthar"sasobrietygoeswiththemyearsofminewhichIproposestomaintainifIhastodoitwithablacksnakewhip。Soyou-allboyTom，youlookoutawholelot!I"mgoin"tobreakyouofthemhurdy-gurdytendencies，ifIhastomakeyouwearhobblesan"fralethedudsoffyourbackbesides。"
Tomsmiledtoothfully，yetinconfidentfashion，asonewhoknowshismasterandisnotafraid。
"SoyouneverhearsofGriefMudlow？"hecontinued，aswestrolledabroadonourwalk。"Ireckonsmebbyyouhas，fortheyshoreputsGriefintoabookonce，commemoratin"ofhislaziness。Howlazyishe？Well，son，hecouldbeatMexicansan"let"emdeal。He"sraisedawayoffcast，overamongtheknobsofoldKnoxCounty，Griefis，an"he"sthatlazyhehastoleaveitonaccountofthehills。