第8章
"Goodweatherfortheapple-blossoms。"
"Youbeatus；butwhenyouplaywithMonsieurdeValoisyouneverdootherwise。"
"Howmuchdidhewin？"
"Well，to-night，threeorfourfrancs；heneverloses。"
"True；anddon"tyouknowtherearethreehundredandsixty-fivedaysayear？Atthatpricehisgainsarethevalueofafarm。"
"Ah!whathandswehadto-night!"
"Hereyouareathome，monsieurandmadame，howluckyyouare，whilewehavehalfthetowntocross!"
"Idon"tpityyou；youcouldaffordacarriage，anddispensewiththefatigueofgoingonfoot。"
"Ah，monsieur!wehaveadaughtertomarry，whichtakesoffonewheel，andthesupportofoursoninPariscarriesoffanother。"
"Youpersistinmakingamagistrateofhim？"
"Whatelsecanbedonewithayoungman？Besides，there"snoshameinservingtheking。"
Sometimesadiscussiononcidersandflax，alwayscouchedinthesameterms，andreturningatthesametimeofyear，wascontinuedonthehomewardway。Ifanyobserverofhumancustomshadlivedinthisstreet，hewouldhaveknownthemonthsandseasonsbysimplyoverhearingtheconversations。
Onthisoccasionitwasexclusivelyjocose；forduBousquier，whochancedtomarchaloneinfrontofthegroups，washummingthewell-
knownair，——littlethinkingofitsappropriateness，——"Tenderwoman!
hearthewarbleofthebirds，"etc。Tosome，duBousquierwasastrongmanandamisjudgedman。Eversincehehadbeenconfirmedinhispresentofficebyaroyaldecree，MonsieurduRoncerethadbeeninfavorofduBousquier。Toothersthepurveyorseemeddangerous，——amanofbadhabits，capableofanything。Intheprovinces，asinParis，menbeforethepubliceyearelikethatstatueinthefineallegoricaltaleofAddison，forwhichtwoknightsonarrivingnearitfought；foronesawitwhite，theothersawitblack。Then，whentheywerebothofftheirhorses，theysawitwaswhiteonesideandblacktheother。
Athirdknightcomingalongdeclareditred。
Whenthechevalierwenthomethatnight，hemademanyreflections，asfollows:——
"ItishightimenowtospreadarumorofmymarriagewithMademoiselleCormon。Itwillleakoutfromthed"Esgrignonsalon，andgostraighttothebishopatSeez，andsogetroundthroughthegrandvicarstothecurateofSaint-Leonard"s，whowillbecertaintotellittotheAbbeCouturier；andMademoiselleCormonwillgettheshotinherupperworks。TheoldMarquisd"EsgrignonshallinvitetheAbbedeSpondetodinner，soastostopallgossipaboutMademoiselleCormonifIdecideagainsther，oraboutmeifsherefusesme。Theabbeshallbewellcajoled；andMademoiselleCormonwillcertainlynotholdoutagainstavisitfromMademoiselleArmande，whowillshowherthegrandeurandfuturechancesofsuchanalliance。Theabbe"spropertyisundoubtedlyasmuchasthreehundredthousand；herownsavingsmustamounttomorethantwohundredthousand；shehasherhouseandPrebaudetandfifteenthousandfrancsayear。AwordtomyfriendtheComtedeFontaine，andIshouldbemayorofAlenconto-morrow，anddeputy。Then，onceseatedontheRightbenches，weshallreachthepeerage，shouting，"Cloture!""Ordre!""
AssoonasshereachedhomeMadameGransonhadalivelyargumentwithherson，whocouldnotbemadetoseetheconnectionwhichexistedbetweenhisloveandhispoliticalopinions。Itwasthefirstquarrelthathadevertroubledthatpoorhousehold。
CHAPTERVI
FINALDISAPPOINTMENTANDITSFIRSTRESULT
Thenextday，MademoiselleCormon，packedintotheoldcarriolewithJosette，andlookinglikeapyramidonavastseaofparcels，droveuptherueSaint-BlaiseonherwaytoPrebaudet，whereshewasovertakenbyaneventwhichhurriedonhermarriage，——anevententirelyunlookedforbyeitherMadameGranson，duBousquier，MonsieurdeValois，orMademoiselleCormonhimself。Chanceisthegreatestofallartificers。
ThedayafterherarrivalatPrebaudet，shewasinnocentlyemployed，abouteighto"clockinthemorning，inlistening，asshebreakfasted，tothevariousreportsofherkeeperandhergardener，whenJacquelinmadeaviolentirruptionintothedining-room。
"Mademoiselle，"hecried，outofbreath，"Monsieurl"abbesendsyouanexpress，thesonofMereGrosmort，withaletter。TheladleftAlenconbeforedaylight，andhehasjustarrived；heranlikePenelope!Can"tIgivehimaglassofwine？"
"Whatcanhavehappened，Josette？Doyouthinkmyunclecanbe——"
"Hecouldn"twriteifhewere，"saidJosette，guessinghermistress"sfears。
"Quick!quick!"criedMademoiselleCormon，assoonasshehadreadthefirstlines。"TellJacquelintoharnessPenelope——Getready，Josette；
packupeverythinginhalfanhour。Wemustgobacktotown——"
"Jacquelin!"calledJosette，excitedbythesentimentshesawonhermistress"sface。
Jacquelin，informedbyJosette，cameintosay，——
"But，mademoiselle，Penelopeiseatingheroats。"
"Whatdoesthatsignify？Imuststartatonce。"
"But，mademoiselle，itisgoingtorain。"
"Thenweshallgetwet。"
"Thehouseisonfire!"mutteredJosette，piquedatthesilencehermistresskeptastothecontentsoftheletter，whichshereadandreread。
"Finishyourcoffee，atanyrate，mademoiselle；don"texciteyourblood；justseehowredyouare。"
"AmIred，Josette？"shesaid，goingtoamirror，fromwhichthequicksilverwaspeeling，andwhichpresentedherfeaturestoherupsidedown。
"Goodheavens!"thoughtMademoiselleCormon，"supposeIshouldlookugly!Come，Josette；come，mydear，dressmeatonce；IwanttobereadybeforeJacquelinhasharnessedPenelope。Ifyoucan"tpackmythingsintime，Iwillleavethemhereratherthanloseasingleminute。"
IfyouhavethoroughlycomprehendedthepositivemonomaniatowhichthedesireofmarriagehadbroughtMademoiselleCormon，youwillshareheremotion。TheworthyuncleannouncedinthissuddenmissivethatMonsieurdeTroisville，oftheRussianarmyduringtheEmigration，grandsonofoneofhisbestfriends，wasdesirousofretiringtoAlencon，andaskedhis，theabbe"shospitality，onthegroundofhisfriendshipforhisgrandfather，theVicomtedeTroisville。
Theoldabbe，alarmedattheresponsibility，entreatedhisniecetoreturninstantlyandhelphimtoreceivethisguest，anddothehonorsofthehouse；fortheviscount"sletterhadbeendelayed，andhemightdescenduponhisshouldersthatverynight。
AfterreadingthismissivecouldtherebeaquestionofthedemandsofPrebaudet？Thekeeperandthegardener，witnessestoMademoiselleCormon"sexcitement，stoodasideandawaitedherorders。Butwhen，asshewasabouttoleavetheroom，theystoppedhertoaskforinstructions，forthefirsttimeinherlifethedespoticoldmaid，whosawtoeverythingatPrebaudetwithherowneyes，said，totheirstupefaction，"Dowhatyoulike。"Thisfromamistresswhocarriedheradministrationtothepointofcountingherfruits，andmarkingthemsoastoordertheirconsumptionaccordingtothenumberandconditionofeach!
"IbelieveI"mdreaming，"thoughtJosette，asshesawhermistressflyingdownthestaircaselikeanelephanttowhichGodhasgivenwings。
Presently，inspiteofadrivingrain，MademoiselleCormondroveawayfromPrebaudet，leavingherfactotumswiththereinsontheirnecks。
JacquelindarednottakeuponhimselftohastentheusuallittletrotofthepeaceablePenelope，who，likethebeautifulqueenwhosenameshebore，hadanappearanceofmakingasmanystepsbackwardasshemadeforward。Impatientwiththepace，mademoiselleorderedJacquelininasharpvoicetodriveatagallop，withthewhip，ifnecessary，tothegreatastonishmentofthepoorbeast，soafraidwassheofnothavingtimetoarrangethehousesuitablytoreceiveMonsieurdeTroisville。Shecalculatedthatthegrandsonofheruncle"sfriendwasprobablyaboutfortyyearsofage；asoldierjustfromservicewasundoubtedlyabachelor；andsheresolved，heruncleaiding，nottoletMonsieurdeTroisvillequittheirhouseintheconditionheenteredit。ThoughPenelopegalloped，MademoiselleCormon，absorbedinthoughtsofhertrousseauandthewedding-day，declaredagainandagainthat
Jacquelinmadenowayatall。ShetwistedaboutinthecarriolewithoutreplyingtoJosette"squestions，andtalkedtoherselflikeapersonwhoismentallyrevolvingimportantdesigns。
ThecarrioleatlastarrivedinthemainstreetofAlencon，calledtherueSaint-BlaiseattheendtowardMontagne，butnearthehotelduMoreittakesthenameoftheruedelaPorte-de-Seez，andbecomestherueduBercailasitenterstheroadtoBrittany。IfthedepartureofMademoiselleCormonmadeagreatnoiseinAlencon，itiseasytoimaginetheuproarcausedbyhersuddenreturnonthefollowingday，inapouringrainwhichbeatherfacewithoutherapparentlymindingit。Penelopeatafullgallopwasobservedbyeveryone，andJacquelin"sgrin，theearlyhour，theparcelsstuffedintothecarrioletopsy-turvy，andtheevidentimpatienceofMademoiselleCormonwereallnoted。
ThepropertyofthehouseofTroisvillelaybetweenAlenconandMortagne。Josetteknewthevariousbranchesofthefamily。AworddroppedbymademoiselleastheyenteredAlenconhadputJosetteonthescentoftheaffair；andadiscussionhavingstartedbetweenthem，itwassettledthattheexpecteddeTroisvillemustbebetweenfortyandforty-twoyearsofage，abachelor，andneitherrichnorpoor。
MademoiselleCormonbeheldherselfspeedilyVicomtessedeTroisville。
"Andtothinkthatmyuncletoldmenothing!thinksofnothing!
inquiresnothing!That"smyuncleallover。He"dforgethisownnoseifitwasn"tfastenedtohisface。"
Haveyouneverremarkedthat，undercircumstancessuchasthese，oldmaidsbecome，likeRichardIII。，keen-witted，fierce，bold，promissory，——ifonemaysousetheword，——and，likeinebriateclerks，nolongerinaweofanything？
ImmediatelythetownofAlencon，speedilyinformedfromthefartherendoftheruedeSaint-BlaisetothegateofSeezofthisprecipitatereturn，accompaniedbysingularcircumstances，wasperturbedthroughoutitsviscera，bothpublicanddomestic。Cooks，shopkeepers，streetpassengers，toldthenewsfromdoortodoor；thenceitrosetotheupperregions。Soonthewords:"MademoiselleCormonhasreturned!"
burstlikeabombshellintoallhouseholds。AtthatmomentJacquelinwasdescendingfromhiswoodenseat(polishedbyaprocessunknowntocabinet-makers)，onwhichheperchedinfrontofthecarriole。Heopenedthegreatgreengate，roundatthetop，andclosedinsignofmourning；forduringMademoiselleCormon"sabsencetheeveningassembliesdidnottakeplace。ThefaithfulinvitedtheAbbedeSpondetotheirseveralhouses；andMonsieurdeValoispaidhisdebtbyinvitinghimtodineattheMarquisd"Esgrignon"s。Jacquelin，havingopenedthegate，calledfamiliarlytoPenelope，whomhehadleftinthemiddleofthestreet。Thatanimal，accustomedtothisproceeding，turnedinofherself，andcircledroundthecourtyardinamannertoavoidinjuringtheflower-bed。Jacquelinthentookherbridle，andledthecarriagetotheportico。
"Mariette!"criedMademoiselleCormon。
"Mademoiselle!"exclaimedMariette，whowasoccupiedinclosingthegate。
"Hasthegentlemanarrived？"
"No，mademoiselle。"
"Where"smyuncle？"
"Heisatchurch，mademoiselle。"
JacquelinandJosettewerebythistimeonthefirststepoftheportico，holdingouttheirhandstomanoeuvretheexitoftheirmistressfromthecarrioleasshepulledherselfupbythesidesofthevehicleandclungtothecurtains。Mademoisellethenthrewherselfintotheirarms；becauseforthelasttwoyearsshedarednotriskherweightontheironstep，affixedtotheframeofthecarriagebyahorriblemechanismofclumsybolts。
WhenMademoiselleCormonreachedtheleveloftheporticoshelookedabouthercourtyardwithanairofsatisfaction。
"Come，come，Mariette，leavethatgatealone；Iwantyou。"
"There"ssomethinginthewind，"whisperedJacquelin，asMariettepassedthecarriole。
"Mariette，whatprovisionshaveyouinthehouse？"askedMademoiselleCormon，sittingdownonthebenchinthelongantechamberlikeapersonovercomewithfatigue。
"Ihaven"tanything，"repliedMariette，withherhandsonherhips。
"MademoiselleknowsverywellthatduringherabsenceMonsieurl"abbedinesouteveryday。YesterdayIwenttofetchhimfromMademoiselleArmande"s。"
"Whereishenow？"
"Monsieurl"abbe？Why，atchurch；hewon"tbeinbeforethreeo"clock。"
"Hethinksofnothing!heoughttohavetoldyoutogotomarket。
Mariette，goatonce；andwithoutwastingmoney，don"tspareit；getallthereisthatisgoodanddelicate。Gotothediligenceofficeandseeifyoucansendforpates；andIwantshrimpsfromtheBrillante。
Whato"clockisit？"
"Aquartertonine。"
"Goodheavens!Mariette，don"tstoptochatter。Thepersonmyuncleexpectsmayarriveatanymoment。Ifwehadtogivehimbreakfast，whereshouldwebewithnothinginthehouse？"
MarietteturnedbacktoPenelopeinalather，andlookedatJacquelinasifshewouldsay，"MademoisellehasputherhandonahusbandTHIS
time。"
"Now，Josette，"continuedtheoldmaid，"letusseewherewehadbetterputMonsieurdeTroisvilletosleep。"
Withwhatjoyshesaidthewords，"PutMonsieurdeTroisville"
(pronouncedTreville)"tosleep。"Howmanyideasinthosefewwords!
Theoldmaidwasbathedinhope。
"Willyouputhiminthegreenchamber？"
"Thebishop"sroom？No；that"stoonearmine，"saidMademoiselleCormon。"Allverywellformonseigneur；he"sasaintlyman。"
"Givehimyouruncle"sroom。"
"Oh，that"ssobare；itisactuallyindecent。"
"Well，then，mademoiselle，whynotarrangeabedinyourboudoir？Itiseasilydone；andthere"safire-place。Moreaucancertainlyfindinhiswareroomsabedtomatchthehangings。"
"Youareright，Josette。GoyourselftoMoreau；consultwithhimwhattodo；Iauthorizeyoutogetwhatiswanted。Ifthebedcouldbeputupto-nightwithoutMonsieurdeTroisvilleobservingit(incaseMonsieurdeTroisvillearriveswhileMoreauishere)，Ishouldlikeit。IfMoreauwon"tengagetodothis，thenImustputMonsieurdeTroisvilleinthegreenroom，althoughMonsieurdeTroisvillewouldbesoveryneartome。"
Josettewasdepartingwhenhermistressrecalledher。
"Stop!explainthemattertoJacquelin，"shecried，inaloudnervoustone。"TellHIMtogotoMoreau；Imustbedressed!FancyifMonsieurdeTroisvillesurprisedmeasIamnow!andmyunclenotheretoreceivehim!Oh，uncle，uncle!Come，Josette；comeanddressmeatonce。"
"ButPenelope？"saidJosette，imprudently。
"AlwaysPenelope!Penelopethis，Penelopethat!IsPenelopethemistressofthishouse？"
"Butsheisallofalather，andshehasn"thadtimetoeatheroats。"
"Thenletherstarve!"criedMademoiselleCormon；"providedImarry，"
shethoughttoherself。
Hearingthesewords，whichseemedtoherlikehomicide，Josettestoodstillforamoment，speechless。Then，atagesturefromhermistress，sheranheadlongdownthestepsoftheportico。
"Thedevilisinher，Jacquelin，"werethefirstwordssheuttered。
ThusallthingsconspiredonthisfatefuldaytoproducethegreatsceniceffectwhichdecidedthefuturelifeofMademoiselleCormon。
Thetownwasalreadytopsy-turvyinmind，asaconsequenceofthefiveextraordinarycircumstanceswhichaccompaniedMademoiselleCormon"sreturn；towit，thepouringrain；Penelopeatagallop，inalather，andblown；theearlyhour；theparcelshalf-packed；andthesingularairoftheexcitedoldmaid。ButwhenMariettemadeaninvasionofthemarket，andboughtallthebestthings；whenJacquelinwenttotheprincipalupholstererinAlencon，twodoorsfromthechurch，insearchofabed，——therewasmatterforthegravestconjectures。Theseextraordinaryeventswerediscussedonallsides；theyoccupiedthemindsofeveryone，evenMademoiselleArmandeherself，withwhomwasMonsieurdeValois。WithintwodaysthetownofAlenconhadbeenagitatedbysuchstartlingeventsthatcertaingoodwomenwereheardtoremarkthattheworldwascomingtoanend。Thislastnews，however，resolveditselfintoasinglequestion，"WhatishappeningattheCormons？"
TheAbbedeSponde，adroitlyquestionedwhenheleftSaint-Leonard"stotakehisdailywalkwiththeAbbeCouturier，repliedwithhisusualkindlinessthatheexpectedtheVicomtedeTroisville，anoblemanintheserviceofRussiaduringtheEmigration，whowasreturningtoAlencontosettlethere。Fromtwotofiveo"clockaspeciesoflabialtelegraphywentonthroughoutthetown；andalltheinhabitantslearnedthatMademoiselleCormonhadatlastfoundahusbandbyletter，andwasabouttomarrytheVicomtedeTroisville。Somesaid，"Moreauhassoldthemabed。"Thebedwassixfeetwideinthatquarter；itwasfourfeetwideatMadameGranson"s，intherueduBercail；butitwasreducedtoasimplecouchatMonsieurduRonceret"s，whereduBousquierwasdining。Thelesserbourgeoisiedeclaredthatthecostwaselevenhundredfrancs。Butgenerallyitwasthoughtthat，astothis，rumorwascountingthechickensbeforetheywerehatched。InotherquartersitwassaidthatMariettehadmadesucharaidonthemarketthatthepriceofcarphadrisen。AttheendoftherueSaint-Blaise，Penelopehaddroppeddead。Thisdeceasewasdoubtedinthehouseofthereceiver-general；butatthePrefectureitwasauthenticatedthatthepoorbeasthadexpiredassheturnedintothecourtyardofthehotelCormon，withsuchvelocityhadtheoldmaidflowntomeetherhusband。Theharness-maker，wholivedatthecorneroftheruedeSeez，wasboldenoughtocallatthehouseandaskifanythinghadhappenedtoMademoiselleCormon"scarriage，inordertodiscoverwhetherPenelopewasreallydead。FromtheendoftherueSaint-BlaisetotheendoftherueduBercail，itwasthenmadeknownthat，thankstoJacquelin"sdevotion，Penelope，thatsilentvictimofhermistress"simpetuosity，stilllived，thoughsheseemedtobesuffering。
AlongtheroadtoBrittanytheVicomtedeTroisvillewasstatedtobeayoungersonwithoutapenny，fortheestatesinPerchebelongedtotheMarquisdeTroisville，peerofFrance，whohadchildren；themarriagewouldbe，therefore，anenormouspieceofluckforapooremigre。Thearistocracyalongthatroadapprovedofthemarriage；
MademoiselleCormoncouldnotdobetterwithhermoney。ButamongtheBourgeoisie，theVicomtedeTroisvillewasaRussiangeneralwhohadfoughtagainstFrance，andwasnowreturningwithagreatfortunemadeatthecourtofSaint-Petersburg；hewasaFOREIGNER；oneofthoseALLIESsohatedbytheliberals；theAbbedeSpondehadslylynegotiatedthismarriage。AllthepersonswhohadarighttocalluponMademoiselleCormondeterminedtodosothatveryevening。
Duringthistransurbanexcitement，whichmadethatofSuzannealmostaforgottenaffair，Mademoisellewasnotlessagitated；shewasfilledwithavarietyofnovelemotions。Lookingabouthersalon，dining-
room，andboudoir，cruelapprehensionstookpossessionofher。A
speciesofdemonshowedherwithasneerherold-fashionedluxury。Thehandsomethingsshehadadmiredfromheryouthupshesuddenlysuspectedofageandabsurdity。Inshort，shefeltthatfearwhichtakespossessionofnearlyallauthorswhentheyreadoveraworktheyhavehithertothoughtproofagainsteveryexactingorblasecritic: