第3章
"Yes，sir。"
"Youknewit？"
"Yes。"
"Youknewit!andyouactuallysatthereandpermittedthemtogoonwithoutawordofreproof!"
"Ididn"tthinktheyweredoinganyharm。"
"Anyharm!Why，lookthere!Justlookatthatcarpet，andsee-
wasthereeveranythinglikeitinaChristianhousebefore？Nowonderyourroomisnotfitforapigsty-nowonderyourpupilsareworsethanalitterofpigs!-nowonder-oh!Ideclare，itputsmequitepastmypatience"andhedeparted，shuttingthedoorafterhimwithabangthatmadethechildrenlaugh。
"Itputsmequitepastmypatiencetoo!"mutteredI，gettingup；
and，seizingthepoker，Idasheditrepeatedlyintothecinders，andstirredthemupwithunwontedenergy；thuseasingmyirritationunderpretenceofmendingthefire。
Afterthis，Mr。Bloomfieldwascontinuallylookingintoseeiftheschoolroomwasinorder；and，asthechildrenwerecontinuallylitteringthefloorwithfragmentsoftoys，sticks，stones，stubble，leaves，andotherrubbish，whichIcouldnotpreventtheirbringing，orobligethemtogatherup，andwhichtheservantsrefusedto"cleanafterthem，"Ihadtospendaconsiderableportionofmyvaluableleisuremomentsonmykneesuponthefloor，inpainsfullyreducingthingstoorder。OnceItoldthemthattheyshouldnottastetheirsuppertilltheyhadpickedupeverythingfromthecarpet；Fannymighthaveherswhenshehadtakenupacertainquantity，MaryAnnwhenshehadgatheredtwiceasmany，andTomwastoclearawaytherest。Wonderfultostate，thegirlsdidtheirpart；butTomwasinsuchafurythatheflewuponthetable，scatteredthebreadandmilkaboutthefloor，struckhissisters，kickedthecoalsoutofthecoal-pan，attemptedtooverthrowthetableandchairs，andseemedinclinedtomakeaDouglas-larderofthewholecontentsoftheroom:butIseizeduponhim，and，sendingMaryAnntocallhermamma，heldhim，inspiteofkicks，blows，yells，andexecrations，tillMrs。Bloomfieldmadeherappearance。
"Whatisthematterwithmyboy？"saidshe。
Andwhenthematterwasexplainedtoher，allshedidwastosendforthenursery-maidtoputtheroominorder，andbringMasterBloomfieldhissupper。
"Therenow，"criedTom，triumphantly，lookingupfromhisviandswithhismouthalmosttoofullforspeech。"Therenow，MissGrey!
youseeI"vegotmysupperinspiteofyou:andIhaven"tpickedupasinglething!"
Theonlypersoninthehousewhohadanyrealsympathyformewasthenurse；forshehadsufferedlikeafflictions，thoughinasmallerdegree；asshehadnotthetaskofteaching，norwasshesoresponsiblefortheconductofhercharge。
"Oh，MissGrey!"shewouldsay，"youhavesometroublewiththemchilder!"
"Ihave，indeed，Betty；andIdaresayyouknowwhatitis。"
"Ay，Idoso!ButIdon"tvexmyselfo"er"emasyoudo。
Andthen，yousee，Ihit"emaslapsometimes:andthemlittle"uns-
Igives"emagoodwhippingnowandthen:there"snothingelsewilldofor"em，aswhattheysay。Howsoever，I"velostmyplaceforit。"
"Haveyou，Betty？Iheardyouweregoingtoleave。"
"Eh，blessyou，yes!Missisgavemewarningathreewiksin"。
ShetoldmeaforeChristmashowitmudbe，ifIhit"emagain；butI
couldn"tholdmyhandoff"ematnothing。IknownothowYOUdo，forMissMaryAnn"sworsebythehalfnorhersisters!"
chapter05
CHAPTERV-THEUNCLE
BESIDEStheoldlady，therewasanotherrelativeofthefamily，whosevisitswereagreatannoyancetome-thiswas"UncleRobson，"Mrs。Bloomfield"sbrother；atall，self-sufficientfellow，withdarkhairandsallowcomplexionlikehissister，anosethatseemedtodisdaintheearth，andlittlegreyeyes，frequentlyhalf-
closed，withamixtureofrealstupidityandaffectedcontemptofallsurroundingobjects。Hewasathick-set，strongly-builtman，buthehadfoundsomemeansofcompressinghiswaistintoaremarkablysmallcompass；andthat，togetherwiththeunnaturalstillnessofhisform，showedthatthelofty-minded，manlyMr。
Robson，thescornerofthefemalesex，wasnotabovethefopperyofstays。Heseldomdeignedtonoticeme；and，whenhedid，itwaswithacertainsuperciliousinsolenceoftoneandmannerthatconvincedmehewasnogentleman:thoughitwasintendedtohaveacontraryeffect。ButitwasnotforthatIdislikedhiscoming，somuchasfortheharmhedidthechildren-encouragingalltheirevilpropensities，andundoinginafewminutesthelittlegoodithadtakenmemonthsoflabourtoachieve。
FannyandlittleHarrietheseldomcondescendedtonotice；butMaryAnnwassomethingofafavourite。Hewascontinuallyencouraginghertendencytoaffectation(whichIhaddonemyutmosttocrush)，talkingaboutherprettyface，andfillingherheadwithallmannerofconceitednotionsconcerningherpersonalappearance(whichI
hadinstructedhertoregardasdustinthebalancecomparedwiththecultivationofhermindandmanners)；andIneversawachildsosusceptibleofflatteryasshewas。Whateverwaswrong，ineitherherorherbrother，hewouldencouragebylaughingat，ifnotbyactuallypraising:peoplelittleknowtheinjurytheydotochildrenbylaughingattheirfaults，andmakingapleasantjestofwhattheirtruefriendshaveendeavouredtoteachthemtoholdingraveabhorrence。
Thoughnotapositivedrunkard，Mr。Robsonhabituallyswallowedgreatquantitiesofwine，andtookwithrelishanoccasionalglassofbrandyandwater。Hetaughthisnephewtoimitatehiminthistotheutmostofhisability，andtobelievethatthemorewineandspiritshecouldtake，andthebetterhelikedthem，themorehemanifestedhisbold，andmanlyspirit，androsesuperiortohissisters。Mr。Bloomfieldhadnotmuchtosayagainstit，forhisfavouritebeveragewasginandwater；ofwhichhetookaconsiderableportioneveryday，bydintofconstantsipping-andtothatIchieflyattributedhisdingycomplexionandwaspishtemper。
Mr。RobsonlikewiseencouragedTom"spropensitytopersecutethelowercreation，bothbypreceptandexample。Ashefrequentlycametocourseorshootoverhisbrother-in-law"sgrounds，hewouldbringhisfavouritedogswithhim；andhetreatedthemsobrutallythat，poorasIwas，Iwouldhavegivenasovereignanydaytoseeoneofthembitehim，providedtheanimalcouldhavedoneitwithimpunity。Sometimes，wheninaverycomplacentmood，hewouldgoa-birds"-nestingwiththechildren，athingthatirritatedandannoyedmeexceedingly；as，byfrequentandperseveringattempts，I
flatteredmyselfIhadpartlyshownthemtheevilofthispastime，andhoped，intime，tobringthemtosomegeneralsenseofjusticeandhumanity；buttenminutes"birds"-nestingwithuncleRobson，orevenalaughfromhimatsomerelationoftheirformerbarbarities，wassufficientatoncetodestroytheeffectofmywholeelaboratecourseofreasoningandpersuasion。Happily，however，duringthatspring，theynever，butonce，gotanythingbutemptynests，oreggs-beingtooimpatienttoleavethemtillthebirdswerehatched；
thatonce，Tom，whohadbeenwithhisuncleintotheneighbouringplantation，camerunninginhighgleeintothegarden，withabroodoflittlecallownestlingsinhishands。MaryAnnandFanny，whomIwasjustbringingout，rantoadmirehisspoils，andtobegeachabirdforthemselves。"No，notone!"criedTom。"They"reallmine；uncleRobsongavethemtome-one，two，three，four，five-
youshan"ttouchoneofthem!no，notone，foryourlives!"
continuedhe，exultingly；layingthenestontheground，andstandingoveritwithhislegswideapart，hishandsthrustintohisbreeches-pockets，hisbodybentforward，andhisfacetwistedintoallmannerofcontortionsintheecstasyofhisdelight。
"Butyoushallseemefettle"emoff。Myword，butIWILLwallop"em？SeeifIdon"tnow。Bygum!butthere"sraresportformeinthatnest。"
"But，Tom，"saidI，"Ishallnotallowyoutotorturethosebirds。
Theymusteitherbekilledatonceorcarriedbacktotheplaceyoutookthemfrom，thattheoldbirdsmaycontinuetofeedthem。"
"Butyoudon"tknowwherethatis，Madam:it"sonlymeanduncleRobsonthatknowsthat。"
"Butifyoudon"ttellme，Ishallkillthemmyself-muchasI
hateit。"
"Youdaren"t。Youdaren"ttouchthemforyourlife!becauseyouknowpapaandmamma，anduncleRobson，wouldbeangry。Ha，ha!
I"vecaughtyouthere，Miss!"
"IshalldowhatIthinkrightinacaseofthissortwithoutconsultinganyone。Ifyourpapaandmammadon"thappentoapproveofit，Ishallbesorrytooffendthem；butyouruncleRobson"sopinions，ofcourse，arenothingtome。"
Sosaying-urgedbyasenseofduty-attheriskofbothmakingmyselfsickandincurringthewrathofmyemployers-Igotalargeflatstone，thathadbeenrearedupforamouse-trapbythegardener；then，havingoncemorevainlyendeavouredtopersuadethelittletyranttoletthebirdsbecarriedback，Iaskedwhatheintendedtodowiththem。Withfiendishgleehecommencedalistoftorments；andwhilehewasbusiedintherelation，Idroppedthestoneuponhisintendedvictimsandcrushedthemflatbeneathit。
Loudweretheoutcries，terribletheexecrations，consequentuponthisdaringoutrage；uncleRobsonhadbeencomingupthewalkwithhisgun，andwasjustthenpausingtokickhisdog。Tomflewtowardshim，vowinghewouldmakehimkickmeinsteadofJuno。
Mr。
Robsonleantuponhisgun，andlaughedexcessivelyattheviolenceofhisnephew"spassion，andthebittermaledictionsandopprobriousepithetsheheapeduponme。"Well，youAREagood"un!"exclaimedhe，atlength，takinguphisweaponandproceedingtowardsthehouse。"Damme，buttheladhassomespunkinhim，too。
Curseme，ifeverIsawanoblerlittlescoundrelthanthat。He"sbeyondpetticoatgovernmentalready:byGod!hedefiesmother，granny，governess，andall!Ha，ha，ha!Nevermind，Tom，I"llgetyouanotherbroodto-morrow。"
"Ifyoudo，Mr。Robson，Ishallkillthemtoo，"saidI。
"Humph!"repliedhe，andhavinghonouredmewithabroadstare-
which，contrarytohisexpectations，Isustainedwithoutflinching-heturnedawaywithanairofsupremecontempt，andstalkedintothehouse。Tomnextwenttotellhismamma。Itwasnotherwaytosaymuchonanysubject；but，whenshenextsawme，heraspectanddemeanourweredoublydarkandchilled。Aftersomecasualremarkabouttheweather，sheobserved-"Iamsorry，MissGrey，youshouldthinkitnecessarytointerferewithMasterBloomfield"samusements；hewasverymuchdistressedaboutyourdestroyingthebirds。"
"WhenMasterBloomfield"samusementsconsistininjuringsentientcreatures，"Ianswered，"Ithinkitmydutytointerfere。"
"Youseemedtohaveforgotten，"saidshe，calmly，"thatthecreatureswereallcreatedforourconvenience。"
Ithoughtthatdoctrineadmittedsomedoubt，butmerelyreplied-
"Iftheywere，wehavenorighttotormentthemforouramusement。"
"Ithink，"saidshe，"achild"samusementisscarcelytobeweighedagainstthewelfareofasoullessbrute。"
"But，forthechild"sownsake，itoughtnottobeencouragedtohavesuchamusements，"answeredI，asmeeklyasIcould，tomakeupforsuchunusualpertinacity。""Blessedarethemerciful，fortheyshallobtainmercy。""
"Oh!ofcourse；butthatreferstoourconducttowardseachother。"
""Themercifulmanshowsmercytohisbeast，""Iventuredtoadd。
"IthinkYOUhavenotshownmuchmercy，"repliedshe，withashort，bitterlaugh；"killingthepoorbirdsbywholesaleinthatshockingmanner，andputtingthedearboytosuchmiseryforamerewhim。"
Ijudgeditprudenttosaynomore。ThiswasthenearestapproachtoaquarrelIeverhadwithMrs。Bloomfield；aswellasthegreatestnumberofwordsIeverexchangedwithheratonetime，sincethedayofmyfirstarrival。
ButMr。RobsonandoldMrs。BloomfieldwerenottheonlyguestswhosecomingtoWellwoodHouseannoyedme；everyvisitordisturbedmemoreorless；notsomuchbecausetheyneglectedme(thoughI
didfeeltheirconductstrangeanddisagreeableinthatrespect)，asbecauseIfounditimpossibletokeepmypupilsawayfromthem，asIwasrepeatedlydesiredtodo:Tommusttalktothem，andMaryAnnmustbenoticedbythem。Neithertheonenortheotherknewwhatitwastofeelanydegreeofshamefacedness，orevencommonmodesty。Theywouldindecentlyandclamorouslyinterrupttheconversationoftheirelders，teasethemwiththemostimpertinentquestions，roughlycollarthegentlemen，climbtheirkneesuninvited，hangabouttheirshouldersorrifletheirpockets，pulltheladies"gowns，disordertheirhair，tumbletheircollars，andimportunatelybegfortheirtrinkets。
Mrs。Bloomfieldhadthesensetobeshockedandannoyedatallthis，butshehadnotsensetopreventit:sheexpectedmetopreventit。ButhowcouldI-whentheguests，withtheirfineclothesandnewfaces，continuallyflatteredandindulgedthem，outofcomplaisancetotheirparents-howcouldI，withmyhomelygarments，every-dayface，andhonestwords，drawthemaway？I
strainedeverynervetodoso:bystrivingtoamusethem，I
endeavouredtoattractthemtomyside；bytheexertionofsuchauthorityasIpossessed，andbysuchseverityasIdaredtouse，I
triedtodeterthemfromtormentingtheguests；andbyreproachingtheirunmannerlyconduct，tomakethemashamedtorepeatit。Buttheyknewnoshame；theyscornedauthoritywhichhadnoterrorstobackit；andasforkindnessandaffection，eithertheyhadnohearts，orsuchastheyhadweresostronglyguarded，andsowellconcealed，thatI，withallmyefforts，hadnotyetdiscoveredhowtoreachthem。
Butsoonmytrialsinthisquartercametoaclose-soonerthanI
eitherexpectedordesired；foronesweeteveningtowardsthecloseofMay，asIwasrejoicinginthenearapproachoftheholidays，andcongratulatingmyselfuponhavingmadesomeprogresswithmypupils(asfarastheirlearningwent，atleast，forIHAD
instilledSOMETHINGintotheirheads，andIhad，atlength，broughtthemtobealittle-averylittle-morerationalaboutgettingtheirlessonsdoneintimetoleavesomespaceforrecreation，insteadoftormentingthemselvesandmealldaylongtonopurpose)，Mrs。Bloomfieldsentforme，andcalmlytoldmethatafterMidsummermyserviceswouldbenolongerrequired。Sheassuredmethatmycharacterandgeneralconductwereunexceptionable；butthechildrenhadmadesolittleimprovementsincemyarrivalthatMr。Bloomfieldandshefeltittheirdutytoseeksomeothermodeofinstruction。Thoughsuperiortomostchildrenoftheiryearsinabilities，theyweredecidedlybehindtheminattainments；theirmannerswereuncultivated，andtheirtempersunruly。Andthissheattributedtoawantofsufficientfirmness，anddiligent，perseveringcareonmypart。
Unshakenfirmness，devoteddiligence，unweariedperseverance，unceasingcare，weretheveryqualificationsonwhichIhadsecretlypridedmyself；andbywhichIhadhopedintimetoovercomealldifficulties，andobtainsuccessatlast。Iwishedtosaysomethinginmyownjustification；butinattemptingtospeak，Ifeltmyvoicefalter；andratherthantestifyanyemotion，orsufferthetearstooverflowthatwerealreadygatheringinmyeyes，Ichosetokeepsilence，andbearalllikeaself-convictedculprit。
ThuswasIdismissed，andthusIsoughtmyhome。Alas!whatwouldtheythinkofme？unable，afterallmyboasting，tokeepmyplace，evenforasingleyear，asgovernesstothreesmallchildren，whosemotherwasassertedbymyownaunttobea"verynicewoman。"
Havingbeenthusweighedinthebalanceandfoundwanting，Ineednothopetheywouldbewillingtotrymeagain。Andthiswasanunwelcomethought；forvexed，harassed，disappointedasIhadbeen，andgreatlyasIhadlearnedtoloveandvaluemyhome，Iwasnotyetwearyofadventure，norwillingtorelaxmyefforts。IknewthatallparentswerenotlikeMr。andMrs。Bloomfield，andIwascertainallchildrenwerenotliketheirs。Thenextfamilymustbedifferent，andanychangemustbeforthebetter。Ihadbeenseasonedbyadversity，andtutoredbyexperience，andIlongedtoredeemmylosthonourintheeyesofthosewhoseopinionwasmorethanthatofalltheworldtome。
chapter06
CHAPTERVI-THEPARSONAGEAGAIN
FORafewmonthsIremainedpeaceablyathome，inthequietenjoymentoflibertyandrest，andgenuinefriendship，fromallofwhichIhadfastedsolong；andintheearnestprosecutionofmystudies，torecoverwhatIhadlostduringmystayatWellwoodHouse，andtolayinnewstoresforfutureuse。Myfather"shealthwasstillveryinfirm，butnotmateriallyworsethanwhenIlastsawhim；andIwasgladIhaditinmypowertocheerhimbymyreturn，andtoamusehimwithsinginghisfavouritesongs。
Noonetriumphedovermyfailure，orsaidIhadbetterhavetakenhisorheradvice，andquietlystayedathome。Allweregladtohavemebackagain，andlavishedmorekindnessthaneveruponme，tomakeupforthesufferingsIhadundergone；butnotonewouldtouchashillingofwhatIhadsocheerfullyearnedandsocarefullysaved，inthehopeofsharingitwiththem。Bydintofpinchinghere，andscrapingthere，ourdebtswerealreadynearlypaid。Maryhadhadgoodsuccesswithherdrawings；butourfatherhadinsisteduponHERlikewisekeepingalltheproduceofherindustrytoherself。Allwecouldsparefromthesupplyofourhumblewardrobeandourlittlecasualexpenses，hedirectedustoputintothesavings"-bank；saying，weknewnothowsoonwemightbedependentonthataloneforsupport:forhefelthehadnotlongtobewithus，andwhatwouldbecomeofourmotheranduswhenhewasgone，Godonlyknew!
Dearpapa!ifhehadtroubledhimselflessabouttheafflictionsthatthreatenedusincaseofhisdeath，Iamconvincedthatdreadedeventwouldnothavetakenplacesosoon。Mymotherwouldneversufferhimtoponderonthesubjectifshecouldhelpit。
"Oh，Richard!"exclaimedshe，ononeoccasion，"ifyouwouldbutdismisssuchgloomysubjectsfromyourmind，youwouldliveaslongasanyofus；atleastyouwouldlivetoseethegirlsmarried，andyourselfahappygrandfather，withacantyolddameforyourcompanion。"
Mymotherlaughed，andsodidmyfather:buthislaughsoonperishedinadrearysigh。
"THEYmarried-poorpennilessthings!"saidhe；"whowilltakethemIwonder!"
"Why，nobodyshallthatisn"tthankfulforthem。Wasn"tI
pennilesswhenyoutookme？andyouPRETENDED，atleast，tobevastlypleasedwithyouracquisition。Butit"snomatterwhethertheygetmarriedornot:wecandeviseathousandhonestwaysofmakingalivelihood。AndIwonder，Richard，youcanthinkofbotheringyourheadaboutourPOVERTYincaseofyourdeath；asifTHATwouldbeanythingcomparedwiththecalamityoflosingyou-
anafflictionthatyouwellknowwouldswallowupallothers，andwhichyououghttodoyourutmosttopreserveusfrom:andthereisnothinglikeacheerfulmindforkeepingthebodyinhealth。"
"Iknow，Alice，itiswrongtokeeprepiningasIdo，butIcannothelpit:youmustbearwithme。"
"IWON"Tbearwithyou，ifIcanalteryou，"repliedmymother:
buttheharshnessofherwordswasundonebytheearnestaffectionofhertoneandpleasantsmile，thatmademyfathersmileagain，lesssadlyandlesstransientlythanwashiswont。
"Mamma，"saidI，assoonasIcouldfindanopportunityofspeakingwithheralone，"mymoneyisbutlittle，andcannotlastlong；ifI
couldincreaseit，itwouldlessenpapa"sanxiety，ononesubjectatleast。IcannotdrawlikeMary，andsothebestthingIcoulddowouldbetolookoutforanothersituation。"
"Andsoyouwouldactuallytryagain，Agnes？"
"Decidedly，Iwould。"
"Why，mydear，Ishouldhavethoughtyouhadhadenoughofit。"
"Iknow，"saidI，"everybodyisnotlikeMr。andMrs。Bloomfield-
"
"Someareworse，"interruptedmymother。
"Butnotmany，Ithink，"repliedI，"andI"msureallchildrenarenotliketheirs；forIandMarywerenot:wealwaysdidasyoubidus，didn"twe？"
"Generally:butthen，Ididnotspoilyou；andyouwerenotperfectangelsafterall:Maryhadafundofquietobstinacy，andyouweresomewhatfaultyinregardtotemper；butyouwereverygoodchildrenonthewhole。"
"IknowIwassulkysometimes，andIshouldhavebeengladtoseethesechildrensulkysometimestoo；forthenIcouldhaveunderstoodthem:buttheyneverwere，fortheyCOULDnotbeoffended，norhurt，norashamed:theycouldnotbeunhappyinanyway，exceptwhentheywereinapassion。"
"Well，iftheyCOULDnot，itwasnottheirfault:youcannotexpectstonetobeaspliableasclay。"
"No，butstillitisveryunpleasanttolivewithsuchunimpressible，incomprehensiblecreatures。Youcannotlovethem；
andifyoucould，yourlovewouldbeutterlythrownaway:theycouldneitherreturnit，norvalue，norunderstandit。But，however，evenifIshouldstumbleonsuchafamilyagain，whichisquiteunlikely，Ihaveallthisexperiencetobeginwith，andI
shouldmanagebetteranothertime；andtheendandaimofthispreambleis，letmetryagain。"
"Well，mygirl，youarenoteasilydiscouraged，Isee:Iamgladofthat。But，letmetellyou，youareagooddealpalerandthinnerthanwhenyoufirstlefthome；andwecannothaveyouunderminingyourhealthtohoardupmoneyeitherforyourselforothers。"
"MarytellsmeIamchangedtoo；andIdon"tmuchwonderatit，forIwasinaconstantstateofagitationandanxietyalldaylong:
butnexttimeIamdeterminedtotakethingscoolly。"
Aftersomefurtherdiscussion，mymotherpromisedoncemoretoassistme，providedIwouldwaitandbepatient；andIlefthertobroachthemattertomyfather，whenandhowshedeemeditmostadvisable:neverdoubtingherabilitytoobtainhisconsent。
Meantime，Isearched，withgreatinterest，theadvertisingcolumnsofthenewspapers，andwroteanswerstoevery"WantedaGoverness"
thatappearedatalleligible；butallmyletters，aswellasthereplies，whenIgotany，weredutifullyshowntomymother；andshe，tomychagrin，mademerejectthesituationsoneafteranother:thesewerelowpeople，theseweretooexactingintheirdemands，andthesetooniggardlyintheirremuneration。
"Yourtalentsarenotsuchaseverypoorclergyman"sdaughterpossesses，Agnes，"shewouldsay，"andyoumustnotthrowthemaway。Remember，youpromisedtobepatient:thereisnoneedofhurry:youhaveplentyoftimebeforeyou，andmayhavemanychancesyet。"
Atlength，sheadvisedmetoputanadvertisement，myself，inthepaper，statingmyqualifications，&；c。
"Music，singing，drawing，French，Latin，andGerman，"saidshe，"arenomeanassemblage:manywillbegladtohavesomuchinoneinstructor；andthistime，youshalltryyourfortuneinasomewhathigherfamilyinthatofsomegenuine，thoroughbredgentleman；forsucharefarmorelikelytotreatyouwithproperrespectandconsiderationthanthosepurse-proudtradespeopleandarrogantupstarts。Ihaveknownseveralamongthehigherrankswhotreatedtheirgovernessesquiteasoneofthefamily；thoughsome，Iallow，areasinsolentandexactingasanyoneelsecanbe:fortherearebadandgoodinallclasses。"
Theadvertisementwasquicklywrittenanddespatched。Ofthetwopartieswhoansweredit，butonewouldconsenttogivemefiftypounds，thesummymotherbademenameasthesalaryIshouldrequire；andhere，Ihesitatedaboutengagingmyself，asIfearedthechildrenwouldbetooold，andtheirparentswouldrequiresomeonemoreshowy，ormoreexperienced，ifnotmoreaccomplishedthanI。Butmymotherdissuadedmefromdecliningitonthataccount:
Ishoulddovastlywell，shesaid，ifIwouldonlythrowasidemydiffidence，andacquirealittlemoreconfidenceinmyself。I
wasjusttogiveaplain，truestatementofmyacquirementsandqualifications，andnamewhatstipulationsIchosetomake，andthenawaittheresult。TheonlystipulationIventuredtopropose，wasthatImightbeallowedtwomonths"holidaysduringtheyeartovisitmyfriends，atMidsummerandChristmas。Theunknownlady，inherreply，madenoobjectiontothis，andstatedthat，astomyacquirements，shehadnodoubtIshouldbeabletogivesatisfaction；butintheengagementofgovernessessheconsideredthosethingsasbutsubordinatepoints；asbeingsituatedintheneighbourhoodofO-，shecouldgetmasterstosupplyanydeficienciesinthatrespect:but，inheropinion，nexttounimpeachablemorality，amildandcheerfultemperandobligingdispositionwerethemostessentialrequisities。
Mymotherdidnotrelishthisatall，andnowmademanyobjectionstomyacceptingthesituation；inwhichmysisterwarmlysupportedher:but，unwillingtobebalkedagain，Ioverruledthemall；
and，havingfirstobtainedtheconsentofmyfather(whohad，ashorttimepreviously，beenapprisedofthesetransactions)，Iwroteamostobligingepistletomyunknowncorrespondent，and，finally，thebargainwasconcluded。
ItwasdecreedthatonthelastdayofJanuaryIwastoenteruponmynewofficeasgovernessinthefamilyofMr。Murray，ofHortonLodge，nearO-，aboutseventymilesfromourvillage:aformidabledistancetome，asIhadneverbeenabovetwentymilesfromhomeinallthecourseofmytwentyyears"sojournonearth；andas，moreover，everyindividualinthatfamilyandintheneighbourhoodwasutterlyunknowntomyselfandallmyacquaintances。Butthisrendereditonlythemorepiquanttome。Ihadnow，insomemeasure，gotridoftheMAUVAISEHONTEthathadformerlyoppressedmesomuch；therewasapleasingexcitementintheideaofenteringtheseunknownregions，andmakingmywayaloneamongitsstrangeinhabitants。InowflatteredmyselfIwasgoingtoseesomethingintheworld:Mr。Murray"sresidencewasnearalargetown，andnotinamanufacturingdistrict，wherethepeoplehadnothingtodobuttomakemoney；hisrankfromwhatIcouldgather，appearedtobehigherthanthatofMr。Bloomfield；and，doubtless，hewasoneofthosegenuinethorough-bredgentrymymotherspokeof，whowouldtreathisgovernesswithdueconsiderationasarespectablewell-
educatedlady，theinstructorandguideofhischildren，andnotamereupperservant。Then，mypupilsbeingolder，wouldbemorerational，moreteachable，andlesstroublesomethanthelast；theywouldbelessconfinedtotheschoolroom，andnotrequirethatconstantlabourandincessantwatching；and，finally，brightvisionsmingledwithmyhopes，withwhichthecareofchildrenandthemeredutiesofagovernesshadlittleornothingtodo。Thus，thereaderwillseethatIhadnoclaimtoberegardedasamartyrtofilialpiety，goingforthtosacrificepeaceandlibertyforthesolepurposeoflayingupstoresforthecomfortandsupportofmyparents:thoughcertainlythecomfortofmyfather，andthefuturesupportofmymother，hadalargeshareinmycalculations；andfiftypoundsappearedtomenoordinarysum。Imusthavedecentclothesbecomingmystation；Imust，itseemed，putoutmywashing，andalsopayformyfourannualjourneysbetweenHortonLodgeandhome；butwithstrictattentiontoeconomy，surelytwentypounds，orlittlemore，wouldcoverthoseexpenses，andthentherewouldbethirtyforthebank，orlittleless:whatavaluableadditiontoourstock!Oh，Imuststruggletokeepthissituation，whateveritmightbe!bothformyownhonouramongmyfriendsandforthesolidservicesImightrenderthembymycontinuancethere。
chapter07
CHAPTERVII-HORTONLODGE
THE31stofJanuarywasawild，tempestuousday:therewasastrongnorthwind，withacontinualstormofsnowdriftingonthegroundandwhirlingthroughtheair。Myfriendswouldhavehadmedelaymydeparture，butfearfulofprejudicingmyemployersagainstmebysuchwantofpunctualityatthecommencementofmyundertaking，Ipersistedinkeepingtheappointment。
Iwillnotinflictuponmyreadersanaccountofmyleavinghomeonthatdarkwintermorning:thefondfarewells，thelong，longjourneytoO-，thesolitarywaitingsininnsforcoachesortrains-forthereweresomerailwaysthen-and，finally，themeetingatO-withMr。Murray"sservant，whohadbeensentwiththephaetontodrivemefromthencetoHortonLodge。Iwilljuststatethattheheavysnowhadthrownsuchimpedimentsinthewayofbothhorsesandsteam-engines，thatitwasdarksomehoursbeforeIreachedmyjourney"send，andthatamostbewilderingstormcameonatlast，whichmadethefewmiles"spacebetweenO-andHortonLodgealongandformidablepassage。Isatresigned，withthecold，sharpsnowdriftingthroughmyveilandfillingmylap，seeingnothing，andwonderinghowtheunfortunatehorseanddrivercouldmaketheirwayevenaswellastheydid；andindeeditwasbutatoilsome，creepingstyleofprogression，tosaythebestofit。Atlengthwepaused；and，atthecallofthedriver，someoneunlatchedandrolledbackupontheircreakinghingeswhatappearedtobetheparkgates。Thenweproceededalongasmootherroad，whence，occasionally，Iperceivedsomehuge，hoarymassgleamingthroughthedarkness，whichItooktobeaportionofasnow-cladtree。
Afteraconsiderabletimewepausedagain，beforethestatelyporticoofalargehousewithlongwindowsdescendingtotheground。
Irosewithsomedifficultyfromunderthesuperincumbentsnowdrift，andalightedfromthecarriage，expectingthatakindandhospitablereceptionwouldindemnifymeforthetoilsandhardshipsoftheday。Agentlemanpersoninblackopenedthedoor，andadmittedmeintoaspacioushall，lightedbyanamber-colouredlampsuspendedfromtheceiling；heledmethroughthis，alongapassage，andopeningthedoorofabackroom，toldmethatwastheschoolroom。Ientered，andfoundtwoyoungladiesandtwoyounggentlemen-myfuturepupils，Isupposed。Afteraformalgreeting，theeldergirl，whowastriflingoverapieceofcanvasandabasketofGermanwools，askedifIshouldliketogoupstairs。
I
repliedintheaffirmative，ofcourse。
"Matilda，takeacandle，andshowherherroom，"saidshe。
MissMatilda，astrappinghoydenofaboutfourteen，withashortfrockandtrousers，shruggedhershouldersandmadeaslightgrimace，buttookacandleandproceededbeforemeupthebackstairs(along，steep，doubleflight)，andthroughalong，narrowpassage，toasmallbuttolerablycomfortableroom。ShethenaskedmeifIwouldtakesometeaorcoffee。IwasabouttoanswerNo；
butrememberingthatIhadtakennothingsinceseveno"clockthatmorning，andfeelingfaintinconsequence，IsaidIwouldtakeacupoftea。Sayingshewouldtell"Brown，"theyoungladydeparted；andbythetimeIhaddivestedmyselfofmyheavy，wetcloak，shawl，bonnet，&；c。，amincingdamselcametosaytheyoungladiesdesiredtoknowwhetherIwouldtakemyteaupthereorintheschoolroom。UnderthepleaoffatigueIchosetotakeitthere。Shewithdrew；and，afterawhile，returnedagainwithasmalltea-tray，andplaceditonthechestofdrawers，whichservedasadressing-table。Havingcivillythankedher，IaskedatwhattimeIshouldbeexpectedtoriseinthemorning。
"Theyoungladiesandgentlemenbreakfastathalf-pasteight，ma"am，"saidshe；"theyriseearly；but，astheyseldomdoanylessonsbeforebreakfast，Ishouldthinkitwilldoifyourisesoonafterseven。"
Idesiredhertobesokindastocallmeatseven，and，promisingtodoso，shewithdrew。Then，havingbrokenmylongfastonacupofteaandalittlethinbreadandbutter，Isatdownbesidethesmall，smoulderingfire，andamusedmyselfwithaheartyfitofcrying；afterwhich，Isaidmyprayers，andthen，feelingconsiderablyrelieved，begantoprepareforbed。Findingthatnoneofmyluggagewasbroughtup，Iinstitutedasearchforthebell；
andfailingtodiscoveranysignsofsuchaconvenienceinanycorneroftheroom，Itookmycandleandventuredthroughthelongpassage，anddownthesteepstairs，onavoyageofdiscovery。
Meetingawell-dressedfemaleontheway，ItoldherwhatIwanted；
butnotwithoutconsiderablehesitation，asIwasnotquitesurewhetheritwasoneoftheupperservants，orMrs。Murrayherself:
ithappened，however，tobethelady"s-maid。Withtheairofoneconferringanunusualfavour，shevouchsafedtoundertakethesendingupofmythings；andwhenIhadre-enteredmyroom，andwaitedandwonderedalongtime(greatlyfearingthatshehadforgottenorneglectedtoperformherpromise，anddoubtingwhethertokeepwaitingorgotobed，orgodownagain)，myhopes，atlength，wererevivedbythesoundofvoicesandlaughter，accompaniedbythetrampoffeetalongthepassage；andpresentlytheluggagewasbroughtinbyarough-lookingmaidandaman，neitherofthemveryrespectfulintheirdemeanourtome。Havingshutthedoorupontheirretiringfootsteps，andunpackedafewofmythings，Ibetookmyselftorest；gladlyenough，forIwaswearyinbodyandmind。
Itwaswithastrangefeelingofdesolation，mingledwithastrongsenseofthenoveltyofmysituation，andajoylesskindofcuriosityconcerningwhatwasyetunknown，thatIawokethenextmorning；feelinglikeonewhirledawaybyenchantment，andsuddenlydroppedfromthecloudsintoaremoteandunknownland，widelyandcompletelyisolatedfromallhehadeverseenorknownbefore；orlikeathistle-seedborneonthewindtosomestrangenookofuncongenialsoil，whereitmustlielongenoughbeforeitcantakerootandgerminate，extractingnourishmentfromwhatappearssoalientoitsnature:if，indeed，itevercan。Butthisgivesnoproperideaofmyfeelingsatall；andnoonethathasnotlivedsucharetired，stationarylifeasmine，canpossiblyimaginewhattheywere:hardlyevenifhehasknownwhatitistoawakesomemorning，andfindhimselfinPortNelson，inNewZealand，withaworldofwatersbetweenhimselfandallthatknewhim。
IshallnotsoonforgetthepeculiarfeelingwithwhichIraisedmyblindandlookedoutupontheunknownworld:awide，whitewildernesswasallthatmetmygaze；awasteofDesertstossedinsnow，Andheavyladengroves。
Idescendedtotheschoolroomwithnoremarkableeagernesstojoinmypupils，thoughnotwithoutsomefeelingofcuriosityrespectingwhatafurtheracquaintancewouldreveal。Onething，amongothersofmoreobviousimportance，Ideterminedwithmyself-ImustbeginwithcallingthemMissandMaster。Itseemedtomeachillingandunnaturalpieceofpunctiliobetweenthechildrenofafamilyandtheirinstructoranddailycompanion；especiallywheretheformerwereintheirearlychildhood，asatWellwoodHouse；buteventhere，mycallingthelittleBloomfieldsbytheirsimplenameshadbeenregardedasanoffensiveliberty:astheirparentshadtakencaretoshowme，bycarefullydesignatingthemMASTERandMISS
Bloomfield，&；c。，inspeakingtome。Ihadbeenveryslowtotakethehint，becausethewholeaffairstruckmeassoveryabsurd；butnowIdeterminedtobewiser，andbeginatoncewithasmuchformandceremonyasanymemberofthefamilywouldbelikelytorequire:and，indeed，thechildrenbeingsomucholder，therewouldbelessdifficulty；thoughthelittlewordsMissandMasterseemedtohaveasurprisingeffectinrepressingallfamiliar，open-heartedkindness，andextinguishingeverygleamofcordialitythatmightarisebetweenus。
AsIcannot，likeDogberry，finditinmyhearttobestowallmytediousnessuponthereader，Iwillnotgoontoborehimwithaminutedetailofallthediscoveriesandproceedingsofthisandthefollowingday。Nodoubthewillbeamplysatisfiedwithaslightsketchofthedifferentmembersofthefamily，andageneralviewofthefirstyearortwoofmysojournamongthem。
Tobeginwiththehead:Mr。Murraywas，byallaccounts，ablustering，roystering，countrysquire:adevotedfox-hunter，askilfulhorse-jockeyandfarrier，anactive，practicalfarmer，andaheartyBONVIVANT。Byallaccounts，Isay；for，exceptonSundays，whenhewenttochurch，Ineversawhimfrommonthtomonth:unless，incrossingthehallorwalkinginthegrounds，thefigureofatall，stoutgentleman，withscarletcheeksandcrimsonnose，happenedtocomeacrossme；onwhichoccasions，ifhepassednearenoughtospeak，anunceremoniousnod，accompaniedbya"Morning，MissGrey，"orsomesuchbriefsalutation，wasusuallyvouchsafed。Frequently，indeed，hisloudlaughreachedmefromafar；andoftenerstillIheardhimswearingandblasphemingagainstthefootmen，groom，coachman，orsomeotherhaplessdependant。
Mrs。Murraywasahandsome，dashingladyofforty，whocertainlyrequiredneitherrougenorpaddingtoaddtohercharms；andwhosechiefenjoymentswere，orseemedtobe，ingivingorfrequentingparties，andindressingattheverytopofthefashion。Ididnotseehertilleleveno"clockonthemorningaftermyarrival；whenshehonouredmewithavisit，justasmymothermightstepintothekitchentoseeanewservant-girl:yetnotso，either，formymotherwouldhaveseenherimmediatelyafterherarrival，andnotwaitedtillthenextday；and，moreover，shewouldhaveaddressedherinamorekindandfriendlymanner，andgivenhersomewordsofcomfortaswellasaplainexpositionofherduties；butMrs。
Murraydidneithertheonenortheother。Shejuststeppedintotheschoolroomonherreturnfromorderingdinnerinthehousekeeper"sroom，bademegood-morning，stoodfortwominutesbythefire，saidafewwordsabouttheweatherandthe"ratherrough"
journeyImusthavehadyesterday；pettedheryoungestchild-aboyoften-whohadjustbeenwipinghismouthandhandsonhergown，afterindulginginsomesavourymorselfromthehouse-
keeper"sstore；toldmewhatasweet，goodboyhewas；andthensailedout，withaself-complacentsmileuponherface:thinking，nodoubt，thatshehaddonequiteenoughforthepresent，andhadbeendelightfullycondescendingintothebargain。Herchildrenevidentlyheldthesameopinion，andIalonethoughtotherwise。
Afterthisshelookedinuponmeonceortwice，duringtheabsenceofmypupils，toenlightenmeconcerningmydutiestowardsthem。
Forthegirlssheseemedanxiousonlytorenderthemassuperficiallyattractiveandshowilyaccomplishedastheycouldpossiblybemade，withoutpresenttroubleordiscomforttothemselves；andIwastoactaccordingly-tostudyandstrivetoamuseandoblige，instruct，refine，andpolish，withtheleastpossibleexertionontheirpart，andnoexerciseofauthorityonmine。Withregardtothetwoboys，itwasmuchthesame；onlyinsteadofaccomplishments，IwastogetthegreatestpossiblequantityofLatingrammarandValpy"sDelectusintotheirheads，inordertofitthemforschool-thegreatestpossiblequantityatleastWITHOUTtroubletothemselves。Johnmightbea"littlehigh-
spirited，"andCharlesmightbealittle"nervousandtedious-"
"Butatallevents，MissGrey，"saidshe，"IhopeYOUwillkeepyourtemper，andbemildandpatientthroughout；especiallywiththedearlittleCharles；heissoextremelynervousandsusceptible，andsoutterlyunaccustomedtoanythingbutthetenderesttreatment。Youwillexcusemynamingthesethingstoyou；forthefactis，Ihavehithertofoundallthegovernesses，eventheverybestofthem，faultyinthisparticular。Theywantedthatmeekandquietspirit，whichSt。Matthew，orsomeofthem，saysisbetterthantheputtingonofapparel-youwillknowthepassagetowhichIallude，foryouareaclergyman"sdaughter。
ButIhavenodoubtyouwillgivesatisfactioninthisrespectaswellastherest。Andremember，onalloccasions，whenanyoftheyoungpeopledoanythingimproper，ifpersuasionandgentleremonstrancewillnotdo，letoneoftheotherscomeandtellme；forIcanspeaktothemmoreplainlythanitwouldbeproperforyoutodo。
Andmakethemashappyasyoucan，MissGrey，andIdaresayyouwilldoverywell。"
IobservedthatwhileMrs。Murraywassoextremelysolicitousforthecomfortandhappinessofherchildren，andcontinuallytalkingaboutit，sheneveroncementionedmine；thoughtheywereathome，surroundedbyfriends，andIanalienamongstrangers；andIdidnotyetknowenoughoftheworld，nottobeconsiderablysurprisedatthisanomaly。
MissMurray，otherwiseRosalie，wasaboutsixteenwhenIcame，anddecidedlyaveryprettygirl；andintwoyearslonger，astimemorecompletelydevelopedherformandaddedgracetohercarriageanddeportment，shebecamepositivelybeautiful；andthatinnocommondegree。Shewastallandslender，yetnotthin；perfectlyformed，exquisitelyfair，thoughnotwithoutabrilliant，healthybloom；
herhair，whichsheworeinaprofusionoflongringlets，wasofaverylightbrownincliningtoyellow；hereyeswerepaleblue，butsoclearandbrightthatfewwouldwishthemdarker；therestofherfeaturesweresmall，notquiteregular，andnotremarkablyotherwise:butaltogetheryoucouldnothesitatetopronounceheraverylovelygirl。IwishIcouldsayasmuchformindanddispositionasIcanforherformandface。
YetthinknotIhaveanydreadfuldisclosurestomake:shewaslively，light-hearted，andcouldbeveryagreeable，withthosewhodidnotcrossherwill。Towardsme，whenIfirstcame，shewascoldandhaughty，theninsolentandoverbearing；but，onafurtheracquaintance，shegraduallylaidasideherairs，andintimebecameasdeeplyattachedtomeasitwaspossibleforHERtobetooneofmycharacterandposition:forsheseldomlostsight，forabovehalfanhouratatime，ofthefactofmybeingahirelingandapoorcurate"sdaughter。Andyet，uponthewhole，Ibelievesherespectedmemorethansheherselfwasawareof；becauseIwastheonlypersoninthehousewhosteadilyprofessedgoodprinciples，habituallyspokethetruth，andgenerallyendeavouredtomakeinclinationbowtoduty；andthisIsay，not，ofcourse，incommendationofmyself，buttoshowtheunfortunatestateofthefamilytowhichmyserviceswere，forthepresent，devoted。TherewasnomemberofitinwhomIregrettedthissadwantofprinciplesomuchasMissMurrayherself；notonlybecauseshehadtakenafancytome，butbecausetherewassomuchofwhatwaspleasantandprepossessinginherself，that，inspiteofherfailings，Ireallylikedher-whenshedidnotrousemyindignation，orrufflemytemperbyTOOgreatadisplayofherfaults。These，however，I