第1章

ALLtruehistoriescontaininstruction；though，insome，thetreasuremaybehardtofind，andwhenfound，sotrivialinquantity，thatthedry，shrivelledkernelscarcelycompensatesforthetroubleofcrackingthenut。Whetherthisbethecasewithmyhistoryornot，Iamhardlycompetenttojudge。Isometimesthinkitmightproveusefultosome，andentertainingtoothers；buttheworldmayjudgeforitself。Shieldedbymyownobscurity，andbythelapseofyears，andafewfictitiousnames，Idonotfeartoventure；andwillcandidlylaybeforethepublicwhatIwouldnotdisclosetothemostintimatefriend。

MyfatherwasaclergymanofthenorthofEngland，whowasdeservedlyrespectedbyallwhoknewhim；and，inhisyoungerdays，livedprettycomfortablyonthejointincomeofasmallincumbencyandasnuglittlepropertyofhisown。Mymother，whomarriedhimagainstthewishesofherfriends，wasasquire"sdaughter，andawomanofspirit。Invainitwasrepresentedtoher，thatifshebecamethepoorparson"swife，shemustrelinquishhercarriageandherlady"s-maid，andalltheluxuriesandeleganciesofaffluence；

whichtoherwerelittlelessthanthenecessariesoflife。A

carriageandalady"s-maidweregreatconveniences；but，thankheaven，shehadfeettocarryher，andhandstoministertoherownnecessities。Aneleganthouseandspaciousgroundswerenottobedespised；butshewouldratherliveinacottagewithRichardGreythaninapalacewithanyothermanintheworld。

Findingargumentsofnoavail，herfather，atlength，toldtheloverstheymightmarryiftheypleased；but，insodoing，hisdaughterwouldforfeiteveryfractionofherfortune。Heexpectedthiswouldcooltheardourofboth；buthewasmistaken。Myfatherknewtoowellmymother"ssuperiorworthnottobesensiblethatshewasavaluablefortuneinherself:andifshewouldbutconsenttoembellishhishumblehearthheshouldbehappytotakeheronanyterms；whileshe，onherpart，wouldratherlabourwithherownhandsthanbedividedfromthemansheloved，whosehappinessitwouldbeherjoytomake，andwhowasalreadyonewithherinheartandsoul。Soherfortunewenttoswellthepurseofawisersister，whohadmarriedarichnabob；andshe，tothewonderandcompassionateregretofallwhoknewher，wenttoburyherselfinthehomelyvillageparsonageamongthehillsof。Andyet，inspiteofallthis，andinspiteofmymother"shighspiritandmyfather"swhims，IbelieveyoumightsearchallEnglandthrough，andfailtofindahappiercouple。

Ofsixchildren，mysisterMaryandmyselfweretheonlytwothatsurvivedtheperilsofinfancyandearlychildhood。I，beingtheyoungerbyfiveorsixyears，wasalwaysregardedasTHEchild，andthepetofthefamily:father，mother，andsister，allcombinedtospoilme-notbyfoolishindulgence，torendermefractiousandungovernable，butbyceaselesskindness，tomakemetoohelplessanddependent-toounfitforbuffetingwiththecaresandturmoilsoflife。

MaryandIwerebroughtupinthestrictestseclusion。Mymother，beingatoncehighlyaccomplished，wellinformed，andfondofemployment，tookthewholechargeofoureducationonherself，withtheexceptionofLatin-whichmyfatherundertooktoteachus-sothatweneverevenwenttoschool；and，astherewasnosocietyintheneighbourhood，ouronlyintercoursewiththeworldconsistedinastatelytea-party，nowandthen，withtheprincipalfarmersandtradespeopleofthevicinity(justtoavoidbeingstigmatizedastooproudtoconsortwithourneighbours)，andanannualvisittoourpaternalgrandfather"s；wherehimself，ourkindgrandmamma，amaidenaunt，andtwoorthreeelderlyladiesandgentlemen，weretheonlypersonsweeversaw。Sometimesourmotherwouldamuseuswithstoriesandanecdotesofheryoungerdays，which，whiletheyentertainedusamazingly，frequentlyawoke-inME，atleast-asecretwishtoseealittlemoreoftheworld。

Ithoughtshemusthavebeenveryhappy:butsheneverseemedtoregretpasttimes。Myfather，however，whosetemperwasneithertranquilnorcheerfulbynature，oftenundulyvexedhimselfwiththinkingofthesacrificeshisdearwifehadmadeforhim；andtroubledhisheadwithrevolvingendlessschemesfortheaugmentationofhislittlefortune，forhersakeandours。Invainmymotherassuredhimshewasquitesatisfied；andifhewouldbutlaybyalittleforthechildren，weshouldallhaveplenty，bothfortimepresentandtocome:butsavingwasnotmyfather"sforte。Hewouldnotrunindebt(atleast，mymothertookgoodcareheshouldnot)，butwhilehehadmoneyhemustspendit:

helikedtoseehishousecomfortable，andhiswifeanddaughterswellclothed，andwellattended；andbesides，hewascharitablydisposed，andlikedtogivetothepoor，accordingtohismeans:

or，assomemightthink，beyondthem。

Atlength，however，akindfriendsuggestedtohimameansofdoublinghisprivatepropertyatonestroke；andfurtherincreasingit，hereafter，toanuntoldamount。Thisfriendwasamerchant，amanofenterprisingspiritandundoubtedtalent，whowassomewhatstraitenedinhismercantilepursuitsforwantofcapital；butgenerouslyproposedtogivemyfatherafairshareofhisprofits，ifhewouldonlyentrusthimwithwhathecouldspare；andhethoughthemightsafelypromisethatwhateversumthelatterchosetoputintohishands，itshouldbringhimincent。percent。

Thesmallpatrimonywasspeedilysold，andthewholeofitspricewasdepositedinthehandsofthefriendlymerchant；whoaspromptlyproceededtoshiphiscargo，andprepareforhisvoyage。

Myfatherwasdelighted，sowereweall，withourbrighteningprospects。Forthepresent，itistrue，wewerereducedtothenarrowincomeofthecuracy；butmyfatherseemedtothinktherewasnonecessityforscrupulouslyrestrictingourexpendituretothat；so，withastandingbillatMr。Jackson"s，anotheratSmith"s，andathirdatHobson"s，wegotalongevenmorecomfortablythanbefore:thoughmymotheraffirmedwehadbetterkeepwithinbounds，forourprospectsofwealthwerebutprecarious，afterall；andifmyfatherwouldonlytrusteverythingtohermanagement，heshouldneverfeelhimselfstinted:buthe，foronce，wasincorrigible。

WhathappyhoursMaryandIhavepassedwhilesittingatourworkbythefire，orwanderingontheheath-cladhills，oridlingundertheweepingbirch(theonlyconsiderabletreeinthegarden)，talkingoffuturehappinesstoourselvesandourparents，ofwhatwewoulddo，andsee，andpossess；withnofirmerfoundationforourgoodlysuperstructurethantherichesthatwereexpectedtoflowinuponusfromthesuccessoftheworthymerchant"sspeculations。Ourfatherwasnearlyasbadasourselves；onlythatheaffectednottobesomuchinearnest:expressinghisbrighthopesandsanguineexpectationsinjestsandplayfulsallies，thatalwaysstruckmeasbeingexceedinglywittyandpleasant。Ourmotherlaughedwithdelighttoseehimsohopefulandhappy:butstillshefearedhewassettinghishearttoomuchuponthematter；

andonceIheardherwhisperasshelefttheroom，"Godgranthebenotdisappointed!Iknownothowhewouldbearit。"

Disappointedhewas；andbitterly，too。Itcamelikeathunder-

claponusall，thatthevesselwhichcontainedourfortunehadbeenwrecked，andgonetothebottomwithallitsstores，togetherwithseveralofthecrew，andtheunfortunatemerchanthimself。

I

wasgrievedforhim；Iwasgrievedfortheoverthrowofallourair-builtcastles:but，withtheelasticityofyouth，Isoonrecoveredtheshook。

Thoughricheshadcharms，povertyhadnoterrorsforaninexperiencedgirllikeme。Indeed，tosaythetruth，therewassomethingexhilaratingintheideaofbeingdriventostraits，andthrownuponourownresources。Ionlywishedpapa，mamma，andMarywereallofthesamemindasmyself；andthen，insteadoflamentingpastcalamitieswemightallcheerfullysettoworktoremedythem；

andthegreaterthedifficulties，theharderourpresentprivations，thegreatershouldbeourcheerfulnesstoendurethelatter，andourvigourtocontendagainsttheformer。

Marydidnotlament，butshebroodedcontinuallyoverthemisfortune，andsankintoastateofdejectionfromwhichnoeffortofminecouldrouseher。IcouldnotpossiblybringhertoregardthematteronitsbrightsideasIdid:andindeedIwassofearfulofbeingchargedwithchildishfrivolity，orstupidinsensibility，thatIcarefullykeptmostofmybrightideasandcheeringnotionstomyself；wellknowingtheycouldnotbeappreciated。

Mymotherthoughtonlyofconsolingmyfather，andpayingourdebtsandretrenchingourexpenditurebyeveryavailablemeans；butmyfatherwascompletelyoverwhelmedbythecalamity:health，strength，andspiritssankbeneaththeblow，andheneverwhollyrecoveredthem。Invainmymotherstrovetocheerhim，byappealingtohispiety，tohiscourage，tohisaffectionforherselfandus。Thatveryaffectionwashisgreatesttorment:

itwasforoursakeshehadsoardentlylongedtoincreasehisfortune-itwasourinterestthathadlentsuchbrightnesstohishopes，andthatimpartedsuchbitternesstohispresentdistress。Henowtormentedhimselfwithremorseathavingneglectedmymother"sadvice；whichwouldatleasthavesavedhimfromtheadditionalburdenofdebt-hevainlyreproachedhimselfforhavingbroughtherfromthedignity，theease，theluxuryofherformerstationtotoilwithhimthroughthecaresandtoilsofpoverty。Itwasgallandwormwoodtohissoultoseethatsplendid，highly-accomplishedwoman，oncesocourtedandadmired，transformedintoanactivemanaginghousewife，withhandsandheadcontinuallyoccupiedwithhouseholdlaboursandhouseholdeconomy。Theverywillingnesswithwhichsheperformedtheseduties，thecheerfulnesswithwhichsheboreherreverses，andthekindnesswhichwithheldherfromimputingthesmallestblametohim，wereallpervertedbythisingeniousself-tormentorintofurtheraggravationsofhissufferings。Andthusthemindpreyeduponthebody，anddisorderedthesystemofthenerves，andtheyinturnincreasedthetroublesofthemind，tillbyactionandreactionhishealthwasseriouslyimpaired；andnotoneofuscouldconvincehimthattheaspectofouraffairswasnothalfsogloomy，soutterlyhopeless，ashismorbidimaginationrepresentedittobe。

Theusefulponyphaetonwassold，togetherwiththestout，well-fedpony-theoldfavouritethatwehadfullydeterminedshouldenditsdaysinpeace，andneverpassfromourhands；thelittlecoach-

houseandstablewerelet；theservantboy，andthemoreefficient(beingthemoreexpensive)ofthetwomaid-servants，weredismissed。Ourclothesweremended，turned，anddarnedtotheutmostvergeofdecency；ourfood，alwaysplain，wasnowsimplifiedtoanunprecedenteddegree-exceptmyfather"sfavouritedishes；

ourcoalsandcandleswerepainfullyeconomized-thepairofcandlesreducedtoone，andthatmostsparinglyused；thecoalscarefullyhusbandedinthehalf-emptygrate:especiallywhenmyfatherwasoutonhisparishduties，orconfinedtobedthroughillness-thenwesatwithourfeetonthefender，scrapingtheperishingemberstogetherfromtimetotime，andoccasionallyaddingaslightscatteringofthedustandfragmentsofcoal，justtokeepthemalive。Asforourcarpets，theyintimewerewornthreadbare，andpatchedanddarnedeventoagreaterextentthanourgarments。Tosavetheexpenseofagardener，MaryandI

undertooktokeepthegardeninorder；andallthecookingandhouseholdworkthatcouldnoteasilybemanagedbyoneservant-

girl，wasdonebymymotherandsister，withalittleoccasionalhelpfromme:onlyalittle，because，thoughawomaninmyownestimation，Iwasstillachildintheirs；andmymother，likemostactive，managingwomen，wasnotgiftedwithveryactivedaughters:

forthisreason-thatbeingsocleveranddiligentherself，shewasnevertemptedtotrustheraffairstoadeputy，but，onthecontrary，waswillingtoactandthinkforothersaswellasfornumberone；andwhateverwasthebusinessinhand，shewasapttothinkthatnoonecoulddoitsowellasherself:sothatwheneverIofferedtoassisther，Ireceivedsuchanansweras-"No，love，youcannotindeed-there"snothinghereyoucando。Goandhelpyoursister，orgethertotakeawalkwithyou-tellhershemustnotsitsomuch，andstaysoconstantlyinthehouseasshedoes-

shemaywelllookthinanddejected。"

"Mary，mammasaysI"mtohelpyou；orgetyoutotakeawalkwithme；shesaysyoumaywelllookthinanddejected，ifyousitsoconstantlyinthehouse。"

"Helpmeyoucannot，Agnes；andIcannotgooutwithYOU-Ihavefartoomuchtodo。"

"Thenletmehelpyou。"

"Youcannot，indeed，dearchild。Goandpractiseyourmusic，orplaywiththekitten。"

Therewasalwaysplentyofsewingonhand；butIhadnotbeentaughttocutoutasinglegarment，andexceptplainhemmingandseaming，therewaslittleIcoulddo，eveninthatline；fortheybothassertedthatitwasfareasiertodotheworkthemselvesthantoprepareitforme:andbesides，theylikedbettertoseemeprosecutingmystudies，oramusingmyself-itwastimeenoughformetositbendingovermywork，likeagravematron，whenmyfavouritelittlepussywasbecomeasteadyoldcat。Undersuchcircumstances，althoughIwasnotmanydegreesmoreusefulthanthekitten，myidlenesswasnotentirelywithoutexcuse。

Throughallourtroubles，Ineverbutonceheardmymothercomplainofourwantofmoney。AssummerwascomingonsheobservedtoMaryandme，"Whatadesirablethingitwouldbeforyourpapatospendafewweeksatawatering-place。Iamconvincedthesea-airandthechangeofscenewouldbeofincalculableservicetohim。Butthen，yousee，there"snomoney，"sheadded，withasigh。Webothwishedexceedinglythatthethingmightbedone，andlamentedgreatlythatitcouldnot。"Well，well!"saidshe，"it"snousecomplaining。Possiblysomethingmightbedonetofurthertheprojectafterall。Mary，youareabeautifuldrawer。Whatdoyousaytodoingafewmorepicturesinyourbeststyle，andgettingthemframed，withthewater-coloureddrawingsyouhavealreadydone，andtryingtodisposeofthemtosomeliberalpicture-dealer，whohasthesensetodiscerntheirmerits？"

"Mamma，IshouldbedelightedifyouthinktheyCOULDbesold；andforanythingworthwhile。"

"It"sworthwhiletrying，however，mydear:doyouprocurethedrawings，andI"llendeavourtofindapurchaser。"

"IwishIcoulddosomething，"saidI。

"You，Agnes!well，whoknows？Youdrawprettywell，too:

ifyouchoosesomesimplepieceforyoursubject，Idaresayyouwillbeabletoproducesomethingweshallallbeproudtoexhibit。"

"ButIhaveanotherschemeinmyhead，mamma，andhavehadlong，onlyIdidnotliketomentionit。"

"Indeed!praytelluswhatitis。"

"Ishouldliketobeagoverness。"

Mymotherutteredanexclamationofsurprise，andlaughed。Mysisterdroppedherworkinastonishment，exclaiming，"YOUagoverness，Agnes!Whatcanyoubedreamingof？"

"Well!Idon"tseeanythingsoVERYextraordinaryinit。

Idonotpretendtobeabletoinstructgreatgirls；butsurelyIcouldteachlittleones:andIshouldlikeitsomuch:Iamsofondofchildren。Doletme，mamma!"

"But，mylove，youhavenotlearnedtotakecareofYOURSELFyet:

andyoungchildrenrequiremorejudgmentandexperiencetomanagethanelderones。"

"But，mamma，Iamaboveeighteen，andquiteabletotakecareofmyself，andotherstoo。YoudonotknowhalfthewisdomandprudenceIpossess，becauseIhaveneverbeentried。"

"Onlythink，"saidMary，"whatwouldyoudoinahousefullofstrangers，withoutmeormammatospeakandactforyou-withaparcelofchildren，besidesyourself，toattendto；andnoonetolooktoforadvice？Youwouldnotevenknowwhatclothestoputon。"

"Youthink，becauseIalwaysdoasyoubidme，Ihavenojudgmentofmyown:butonlytryme-thatisallIask-andyoushallseewhatIcando。"

Atthatmomentmyfatherenteredandthesubjectofourdiscussionwasexplainedtohim。

"What，mylittleAgnesagoverness!"criedhe，and，inspiteofhisdejection，helaughedattheidea。

"Yes，papa，don"tYOUsayanythingagainstit:Ishouldlikeitsomuch；andIamsureIcouldmanagedelightfully。"

"But，mydarling，wecouldnotspareyou。"Andatearglistenedinhiseyeasheadded-"No，no!afflictedasweare，surelywearenotbroughttothatpassyet。"

"Oh，no!"saidmymother。"Thereisnonecessitywhateverforsuchastep；itismerelyawhimofherown。Soyoumustholdyourtongue，younaughtygirl；for，thoughyouaresoreadytoleaveus，youknowverywellwecannotpartwithYOU。"

Iwassilencedforthatday，andformanysucceedingones；butstillIdidnotwhollyrelinquishmydarlingscheme。Marygotherdrawingmaterials，andsteadilysettowork。Igotminetoo；butwhileIdrew，Ithoughtofotherthings。Howdelightfulitwouldbetobeagoverness!Togooutintotheworld；toenteruponanewlife；toactformyself；toexercisemyunusedfaculties；totrymyunknownpowers；toearnmyownmaintenance，andsomethingtocomfortandhelpmyfather，mother，andsister，besidesexoneratingthemfromtheprovisionofmyfoodandclothing；toshowpapawhathislittleAgnescoulddo；toconvincemammaandMarythatIwasnotquitethehelpless，thoughtlessbeingtheysupposed。Andthen，howcharmingtobeentrustedwiththecareandeducationofchildren!Whateverotherssaid，IfeltIwasfullycompetenttothetask:theclearremembranceofmyownthoughtsinearlychildhoodwouldbeasurerguidethantheinstructionsofthemostmatureadviser。Ihadbuttoturnfrommylittlepupilstomyselfattheirage，andIshouldknow，atonce，howtowintheirconfidenceandaffections:howtowakenthecontritionoftheerring；howtoemboldenthetimidandconsoletheafflicted；howtomakeVirtuepracticable，Instructiondesirable，andReligionlovelyandcomprehensible-

Delightfultask!

Toteachtheyoungideahowtoshoot!

Totrainthetenderplants，andwatchtheirbudsunfoldingdaybyday!

Influencedbysomanyinducements，Ideterminedstilltopersevere；

thoughthefearofdispleasingmymother，ordistressingmyfather"sfeelings，preventedmefromresumingthesubjectforseveraldays。Atlength，again，Imentionedittomymotherinprivate；and，withsomedifficulty，gothertopromisetoassistmewithherendeavours。Myfather"sreluctantconsentwasnextobtained，andthen，thoughMarystillsighedherdisapproval，mydear，kindmotherbegantolookoutforasituationforme。Shewrotetomyfather"srelations，andconsultedthenewspaperadvertisements-herownrelationsshehadlongdroppedallcommunicationwith:aformalinterchangeofoccasionalletterswasallshehadeverhadsincehermarriage，andshewouldnotatanytimehaveappliedtotheminacaseofthisnature。Butsolongandsoentirehadbeenmyparents"seclusionfromtheworld，thatmanyweekselapsedbeforeasuitablesituationcouldbeprocured。

Atlast，tomygreatjoy，itwasdecreedthatIshouldtakechargeoftheyoungfamilyofacertainMrs。Bloomfield；whommykind，primauntGreyhadknowninheryouth，andassertedtobeaverynicewoman。Herhusbandwasaretiredtradesman，whohadrealizedaverycomfortablefortune；butcouldnotbeprevailedupontogiveagreatersalarythantwenty-fivepoundstotheinstructressofhischildren。I，however，wasgladtoacceptthis，ratherthanrefusethesituation-whichmyparentswereinclinedtothinkthebetterplan。

Butsomeweeksmorewereyettobedevotedtopreparation。Howlong，howtediousthoseweeksappearedtome!Yettheywerehappyonesinthemain-fullofbrighthopesandardentexpectations。

WithwhatpeculiarpleasureIassistedatthemakingofmynewclothes，and，subsequently，thepackingofmytrunks!Buttherewasafeelingofbitternessminglingwiththelatteroccupationtoo；andwhenitwasdone-whenallwasreadyformydepartureonthemorrow，andthelastnightathomeapproached-asuddenanguishseemedtoswellmyheart。Mydearfriendslookedsosad，andspokesoverykindly，thatIcouldscarcelykeepmyeyesfromoverflowing:butIstillaffectedtobegay。IhadtakenmylastramblewithMaryonthemoors，mylastwalkinthegarden，androundthehouse；Ihadfed，withher，ourpetpigeonsforthelasttime-theprettycreaturesthatwehadtamedtopecktheirfoodfromourhands:Ihadgivenafarewellstroketoalltheirsilkybacksastheycrowdedinmylap。Ihadtenderlykissedmyownpeculiarfavourites，thepairofsnow-whitefantails；Ihadplayedmylasttuneontheoldfamiliarpiano，andsungmylastsongtopapa:notthelast，Ihoped，butthelastforwhatappearedtomeaverylongtime。And，perhaps，whenIdidthesethingsagainitwouldbewithdifferentfeelings:circumstancesmightbechanged，andthishousemightneverbemysettledhomeagain。Mydearlittlefriend，thekitten，wouldcertainlybechanged:shewasalreadygrowingafinecat；andwhenIreturned，evenforahastyvisitatChristmas，would，mostlikely，haveforgottenbothherplaymateandhermerrypranks。Ihadrompedwithherforthelasttime；andwhenIstrokedhersoftbrightfur，whileshelaypurringherselftosleepinmylap，itwaswithafeelingofsadnessI

couldnoteasilydisguise。Thenatbed-time，whenIretiredwithMarytoourquietlittlechamber，wherealreadymydrawerswereclearedoutandmyshareofthebookcasewasempty-andwhere，hereafter，shewouldhavetosleepalone，indrearysolitude，assheexpressedit-myheartsankmorethanever:IfeltasifI

hadbeenselfishandwrongtopersistinleavingher；andwhenI

kneltoncemorebesideourlittlebed，IprayedforablessingonherandonmyparentsmoreferventlythaneverIhaddonebefore。

Toconcealmyemotion，Iburiedmyfaceinmyhands，andtheywerepresentlybathedintears。Iperceived，onrising，thatshehadbeencryingtoo:butneitherofusspoke；andinsilencewebetookourselvestoourrepose，creepingmorecloselytogetherfromtheconsciousnessthatweweretopartsosoon。

Butthemorningbroughtarenewalofhopeandspirits。Iwastodepartearly；thattheconveyancewhichtookme(agig，hiredfromMr。Smith，thedraper，grocer，andtea-dealerofthevillage)mightreturnthesameday。Irose，washed，dressed，swallowedahastybreakfast，receivedthefondembracesofmyfather，mother，andsister，kissedthecat-tothegreatscandalofSally，themaid-

shookhandswithher，mountedthegig，drewmyveilovermyface，andthen，butnottillthen，burstintoafloodoftears。Thegigrolledon；Ilookedback；mydearmotherandsisterwerestillstandingatthedoor，lookingafterme，andwavingtheiradieux。

I

returnedtheirsalute，andprayedGodtoblessthemfrommyheart:

wedescendedthehill，andIcouldseethemnomore。

"It"sacoldishmornin"foryou，MissAgnes，"observedSmith；"andadarksome"untoo；butwe"shappengettoyonspotaforetherecomemuchraintosignify。"

"Yes，Ihopeso，"repliedI，ascalmlyasIcould。

"It"scomedagoodsuplastnighttoo。"

"Yes。"

"Butthiscoldwindwillhappenkeepitoff。"

"Perhapsitwill。"

Hereendedourcolloquy。Wecrossedthevalley，andbegantoascendtheoppositehill。Asweweretoilingup，Ilookedbackagain；therewasthevillagespire，andtheoldgreyparsonagebeyondit，baskinginaslantingbeamofsunshine-itwasbutasicklyray，butthevillageandsurroundinghillswereallinsombreshade，andIhailedthewanderingbeamasapropitiousomentomyhome。WithclaspedhandsIferventlyimploredablessingonitsinhabitants，andhastilyturnedaway；forIsawthesunshinewasdeparting；andIcarefullyavoidedanotherglance，lestI

shouldseeitingloomyshadow，liketherestofthelandscape。

chapter02

CHAPTERII-FIRSTLESSONSINTHEARTOFINSTRUCTION

ASwedrovealong，myspiritsrevivedagain，andIturned，withpleasure，tothecontemplationofthenewlifeuponwhichIwasentering。ButthoughitwasnotfarpastthemiddleofSeptember，theheavycloudsandstrongnorth-easterlywindcombinedtorenderthedayextremelycoldanddreary；andthejourneyseemedaverylongone，for，asSmithobserved，theroadswere"veryheavy"；andcertainly，hishorsewasveryheavytoo:itcrawledupthehills，andcreptdownthem，andonlycondescendedtoshakeitssidesinatrotwheretheroadwasatadeadleveloraverygentleslope，whichwasrarelythecaseinthoseruggedregions；sothatitwasnearlyoneo"clockbeforewereachedtheplaceofourdestination。

Yet，afterall，whenweenteredtheloftyirongateway，whenwedrovesoftlyupthesmooth，well-rolledcarriage-road，withthegreenlawnoneachside，studdedwithyoungtrees，andapproachedthenewbutstatelymansionofWellwood，risingaboveitsmushroompoplar-groves，myheartfailedme，andIwisheditwereamileortwofartheroff。ForthefirsttimeinmylifeImuststandalone:

therewasnoretreatingnow。Imustenterthathouse，andintroducemyselfamongitsstrangeinhabitants。Buthowwasittobedone？True，Iwasnearnineteen；but，thankstomyretiredlifeandtheprotectingcareofmymotherandsister，Iwellknewthatmanyagirloffifteen，orunder，wasgiftedwithamorewomanlyaddress，andgreatereaseandself-possession，thanIwas。Yet，ifMrs。Bloomfieldwereakind，motherlywoman，Imightdoverywell，afterall；andthechildren，ofcourse，Ishouldsoonbeateasewiththem-andMr。Bloomfield，Ihoped，Ishouldhavebutlittletodowith。

"Becalm，becalm，whateverhappens，"Isaidwithinmyself；andtrulyIkeptthisresolutionsowell，andwassofullyoccupiedinsteadyingmynervesandstiflingtherebelliousflutterofmyheart，thatwhenIwasadmittedintothehallandusheredintothepresenceofMrs。Bloomfield，Ialmostforgottoanswerherpolitesalutation；anditafterwardsstruckme，thatthelittleIdidsaywasspokeninthetoneofonehalf-deadorhalf-asleep。Thelady，too，wassomewhatchillyinhermanner，asIdiscoveredwhenIhadtimetoreflect。Shewasatall，spare，statelywoman，withthickblackhair，coldgreyeyes，andextremelysallowcomplexion。

Withduepoliteness，however，sheshowedmemybedroom，andleftmetheretotakealittlerefreshment。Iwassomewhatdismayedatmyappearanceonlookingintheglass:thecoldwindhadswelledandreddenedmyhands，uncurledandentangledmyhair，anddyedmyfaceofapalepurple；addtothismycollarwashorridlycrumpled，myfrocksplashedwithmud，myfeetcladinstoutnewboots，andasthetrunkswerenotbroughtup，therewasnoremedy；sohavingsmoothedmyhairaswellasIcould，andrepeatedlytwitchedmyobduratecollar，Iproceededtoclompdownthetwoflightsofstairs，philosophizingasIwent；andwithsomedifficultyfoundmywayintotheroomwhereMrs。Bloomfieldawaitedme。

Sheledmeintothedining-room，wherethefamilyluncheonhadbeenlaidout。Somebeefsteaksandhalf-coldpotatoesweresetbeforeme；andwhileIdineduponthese，shesatopposite，watchingme(asIthought)andendeavouringtosustainsomethinglikeaconversation-consistingchieflyofasuccessionofcommonplaceremarks，expressedwithfrigidformality:butthismightbemoremyfaultthanhers，forIreallycouldNOTconverse。Infact，myattentionwasalmostwhollyabsorbedinmydinner:notfromravenousappetite，butfromdistressatthetoughnessofthebeefsteaks，andthenumbnessofmyhands，almostpalsiedbytheirfive-hours"exposuretothebitterwind。Iwouldgladlyhaveeatenthepotatoesandletthemeatalone，buthavinggotalargepieceofthelatterontomyplate，Icouldnotbesoimpoliteastoleaveit；so，aftermanyawkwardandunsuccessfulattemptstocutitwiththeknife，ortearitwiththefork，orpullitasunderbetweenthem，sensiblethattheawfulladywasaspectatortothewholetransaction，Iatlastdesperatelygraspedtheknifeandforkinmyfists，likeachildoftwoyearsold，andfelltoworkwithallthelittlestrengthIpossessed。Butthisneededsomeapology-withafeebleattemptatalaugh，Isaid，"MyhandsaresobenumbedwiththecoldthatIcanscarcelyhandlemyknifeandfork。"

"Idaresayyouwouldfinditcold，"repliedshewithacool，immutablegravitythatdidnotservetore-assureme。

Whentheceremonywasconcluded，sheledmeintothesitting-roomagain，wheresherangandsentforthechildren。

"Youwillfindthemnotveryfaradvancedintheirattainments，"

saidshe，"forIhavehadsolittletimetoattendtotheireducationmyself，andwehavethoughtthemtooyoungforagovernesstillnow；butIthinktheyarecleverchildren，andveryapttolearn，especiallythelittleboy；heis，Ithink，thefloweroftheflock-agenerous，noble-spiritedboy，onetobeled，butnotdriven，andremarkableforalwaysspeakingthetruth。Heseemstoscorndeception"(thiswasgoodnews)。"HissisterMaryAnnwillrequirewatching，"continuedshe，"butsheisaverygoodgirluponthewhole；thoughIwishhertobekeptoutofthenurseryasmuchaspossible，assheisnowalmostsixyearsold，andmightacquirebadhabitsfromthenurses。Ihaveorderedhercribtobeplacedinyourroom，andifyouwillbesokindastooverlookherwashinganddressing，andtakechargeofherclothes，sheneedhavenothingfurthertodowiththenurserymaid。"

IrepliedIwasquitewillingtodoso；andatthatmomentmyyoungpupilsenteredtheapartment，withtheirtwoyoungersisters。

MasterTomBloomfieldwasawell-grownboyofseven，withasomewhatwiryframe，flaxenhair，blueeyes，smallturned-upnose，andfaircomplexion。MaryAnnwasatallgirltoo，somewhatdarklikehermother，butwitharoundfullfaceandahighcolourinhercheeks。ThesecondsisterwasFanny，averyprettylittlegirl；Mrs。Bloomfieldassuredmeshewasaremarkablygentlechild，andrequiredencouragement:shehadnotlearnedanythingyet；

butinafewdays，shewouldbefouryearsold，andthenshemighttakeherfirstlessoninthealphabet，andbepromotedtotheschoolroom。TheremainingonewasHarriet，alittlebroad，fat，merry，playfulthingofscarcelytwo，thatIcovetedmorethanalltherest-butwithherIhadnothingtodo。

ItalkedtomylittlepupilsaswellasIcould，andtriedtorendermyselfagreeable；butwithlittlesuccessIfear，fortheirmother"spresencekeptmeunderanunpleasantrestraint。They，however，wereremarkablyfreefromshyness。Theyseemedbold，livelychildren，andIhopedIshouldsoonbeonfriendlytermswiththem-thelittleboyespecially，ofwhomIhadheardsuchafavourablecharacterfromhismamma。InMaryAnntherewasacertainaffectedsimper，andacravingfornotice，thatIwassorrytoobserve。Butherbrotherclaimedallmyattentiontohimself；

hestoodboltuprightbetweenmeandthefire，withhishandsbehindhisback，talkingawaylikeanorator，occasionallyinterruptinghisdiscoursewithasharpreprooftohissisterswhentheymadetoomuchnoise。

"Oh，Tom，whatadarlingyouare!"exclaimedhismother。"Comeandkissdearmamma；andthenwon"tyoushowMissGreyyourschoolroom，andyournicenewbooks？"

"Iwon"tkissYOU，mamma；butIWILLshowMissGreymyschoolroom，andmynewbooks。"

"AndMYschoolroom，andMYnewbooks，Tom，"saidMaryAnn。

"They"reminetoo。"

"They"reMINE，"repliedhedecisively。"Comealong，MissGrey-

I"llescortyou。"

Whentheroomandbookshadbeenshown，withsomebickeringsbetweenthebrotherandsisterthatIdidmyutmosttoappeaseormitigate，MaryAnnbroughtmeherdoll，andbegantobeveryloquaciousonthesubjectofitsfineclothes，itsbed，itschestofdrawers，andotherappurtenances；butTomtoldhertoholdherclamour，thatMissGreymightseehisrocking-horse，which，withamostimportantbustle，hedraggedforthfromitscornerintothemiddleoftheroom，loudlycallingonmetoattendtoit。Then，orderinghissistertoholdthereins，hemounted，andmademestandfortenminutes，watchinghowmanfullyheusedhiswhipandspurs。Meantime，however，IadmiredMaryAnn"sprettydoll，andallitspossessions；andthentoldMasterTomhewasacapitalrider，butIhopedhewouldnotusehiswhipandspurssomuchwhenherodearealpony。

"Oh，yes，Iwill!"saidhe，layingonwithredoubledardour。"I"llcutintohimlikesmoke!Eeh!myword!butheshallsweatforit。"

Thiswasveryshocking；butIhopedintimetobeabletoworkareformation。

"Nowyoumustputonyourbonnetandshawl，"saidthelittlehero，"andI"llshowyoumygarden。"

"AndMINE，"saidMaryAnn。

Tomliftedhisfistwithamenacinggesture；sheutteredaloud，shrillscream，rantotheothersideofme，andmadeafaceathim。

"Surely，Tom，youwouldnotstrikeyoursister!IhopeIshallNEVERseeyoudothat。"

"Youwillsometimes:I"mobligedtodoitnowandthentokeepherinorder。"

"Butitisnotyourbusinesstokeepherinorder，youknow-thatisfor-"

"Well，nowgoandputonyourbonnet。"

"Idon"tknow-itissoverycloudyandcold，itseemslikelytorain；-andyouknowIhavehadalongdrive。"

"Nomatter-youMUSTcome；Ishallallowofnoexcuses，"repliedtheconsequentiallittlegentleman。And，asitwasthefirstdayofouracquaintance，IthoughtImightaswellindulgehim。ItwastoocoldforMaryAnntoventure，soshestayedwithhermamma，tothegreatreliefofherbrother，wholikedtohavemealltohimself。

Thegardenwasalargeone，andtastefullylaidout；besidesseveralsplendiddahlias，thereweresomeotherfineflowersstillinbloom:butmycompanionwouldnotgivemetimetoexaminethem:

Imustgowithhim，acrossthewetgrass，toaremotesequesteredcorner，themostimportantplaceinthegrounds，becauseitcontainedHISgarden。Thereweretworoundbeds，stockedwithavarietyofplants。Inonetherewasaprettylittlerose-tree。

I

pausedtoadmireitslovelyblossoms。

"Oh，nevermindthat!"saidhe，contemptuously。"That"sonlyMARY

ANN"Sgarden；look，THISismine。"

AfterIhadobservedeveryflower，andlistenedtoadisquisitiononeveryplant，Iwaspermittedtodepart；butfirst，withgreatpomp，hepluckedapolyanthusandpresentedittome，asoneconferringaprodigiousfavour。Iobserved，onthegrassabouthisgarden，certainapparatusofsticksandcorn，andaskedwhattheywere。

"Trapsforbirds。"

"Whydoyoucatchthem？"

"Papasaystheydoharm。"

"Andwhatdoyoudowiththemwhenyoucatchthem？"

"Differentthings。SometimesIgivethemtothecat；sometimesI

cuttheminpieceswithmypenknife；butthenext，Imeantoroastalive。"

"Andwhydoyoumeantodosuchahorriblething？"

"Fortworeasons:first，toseehowlongitwilllive-andthen，toseewhatitwilltastelike。"

"Butdon"tyouknowitisextremelywickedtodosuchthings？

Remember，thebirdscanfeelaswellasyou；andthink，howwouldyoulikeityourself？"

"Oh，that"snothing!I"mnotabird，andIcan"tfeelwhatIdotothem。"

"Butyouwillhavetofeelitsometime，Tom:youhaveheardwherewickedpeoplegotowhentheydie；andifyoudon"tleaveofftorturinginnocentbirds，remember，youwillhavetogothere，andsufferjustwhatyouhavemadethemsuffer。"

"Oh，pooh!Ishan"t。PapaknowshowItreatthem，andheneverblamesmeforit:hesaysitisjustwhatHEusedtodowhenHE

wasaboy。Lastsummer，hegavemeanestfullofyoungsparrows，andhesawmepullingofftheirlegsandwings，andheads，andneversaidanything；exceptthattheywerenastythings，andImustnotletthemsoilmytrousers:endUncleRobsonwastheretoo，andhelaughed，andsaidIwasafineboy。"

"Butwhatwouldyourmammasay？"

"Oh，shedoesn"tcare!shesaysit"sapitytokilltheprettysingingbirds，butthenaughtysparrows，andmice，andrats，ImaydowhatIlikewith。Sonow，MissGrey，youseeitisNOTwicked。"

"Istillthinkitis，Tom；andperhapsyourpapaandmammawouldthinksotoo，iftheythoughtmuchaboutit。However，"I