第2章

Andsinceoursystemisneverthelesstopackthemallintothesamehouseandpretendthattheyarehappy，andthatthisparticularsortofhappinessisthefoundationofvirtue，itisfoundthatindiscussingfamilylifeweneverspeakofactualadultsoractualchildren，orofrealitiesofanysort，butalwaysofidealssuchasTheHome，aMother"sInfluence，aFather"sCare，FilialPiety，Duty，Affection，FamilyLife，etc。etc。，whicharenodoubtverycomfortingphrases，butwhichbegthequestionofwhatahomeandamother"sinfluenceandafather"scareandsoforthreallycometoinpractice。

Howmanyhoursaweekofthetimewhenhischildrenareoutofbeddoestheordinarybread-winningfatherspendinthecompanyofhischildrenoreveninthesamebuildingwiththem?Thehomemaybeathieves"kitchen，themotheraprocuress，thefatheraviolentdrunkard；orthemotherandfathermaybefashionablepeoplewhoseetheirchildrenthreeorfourtimesayearduringtheholidays，andthennotoftenerthantheycanhelp，livingmeanwhileindailyandintimatecontactwiththeirvaletsandlady"s-maids，whoseinfluenceandcareareoftendominantinthehousehold。Affection，asdistinguishedfromsimplekindliness，mayormaynotexist:whenitdoesiteitherdependsonqualitiesinthepartiesthatwouldproduceitequallyiftheywereofnokintooneanother，oritisamoreorlessmorbidsurvivalofthenursingpassion；foraffectionbetweenadults(iftheyarereallyadultinmindandnotmerelygrown-upchildren)andcreaturessorelatively

selfishandcruelaschildrennecessarilyarewithoutknowingitormeaningit，cannotbecallednatural:infacttheevidenceshewsthatitiseasiertolovethecompanyofadogthanofacommonplacechildbetweentheagesofsixandthebeginningsofcontrolledmaturity；forwomenwhocannotbeartobeseparatedfromtheirpetdogssendtheirchildrentoboardingschoolscheerfully。Theymaysayandevenbelievethatinallowingtheirchildrentoleavehometheyaresacrificingthemselvesfortheirchildren"sgood；butthereareveryfewpetdogswhowouldnotbethebetterforamonthortwospentelsewherethaninalady"slaporroastingonadrawingroomhearthrug。Besides，toallegethatchildrenarebettercontinuallyawayfromhomeistogiveupthewholepopularsentimentaltheoryofthefamily；yetthedogsarekeptandthechildrenarebanished。

ChildFanciersThereis，however，agooddealofspuriousfamilyaffection。Thereistheclannishnessthatwillmakeadozenbrothersandsisterswhoquarrelfuriouslyamongthemselvescloseuptheirranksandmakecommoncauseagainstabrother-in-laworasister-in-law。Andthereisastrongsenseofpropertyinchildren，whichoftenmakesmothersandfathersbitterlyjealousofallowinganyoneelsetointerferewiththeirchildren

whomtheymaynonethelesstreatverybadly。Andthereisanextremelydangerouscrazeforchildrenwhichleadscertainpeopletoestablishorphanagesandbabyfarmsandschools，seizinganypretextforfillingtheirhouseswithchildrenexactlyassomeeccentricoldladiesandgentlemenfilltheirswithcats。Insuchplacesthechildrenarethevictimsofallthecapricesofdotingaffectionandalltheexcessesoflasciviouscruelty。Yetthepeoplewhohavethismorbidcrazeseldomhaveanydifficultyinfindingvictims。Parentsandguardiansaresoworriedbychildrenandsoanxioustogetridofthemthatanyonewhoiswillingtotakethemofftheirhandsiswelcomedandwhitewashed。TheverypeoplewhoreadwithindignationofSqueersandCreakleinthenovelsofDickensarequitereadytohandovertheirownchildrentoSqueersandCreakle，andtopretendthatSqueersandCreaklearemonstersofthepast。ButreadtheautobiographyofStanleythetraveller，orsitinthecompanyofmentalkingabouttheirschool-days，andyouwillsoonfindthatfiction，whichmust，ifitistobesoldandread，stopshortofbeingpositivelysickening，darenottellthewholetruthaboutthepeopletowhomchildrenarehandedoveroneducationalpretexts。NotverylongagoaschoolmasterinIrelandwasmurderedbyhisboys

andforreasonswhichwerenevermadepublicitwasatfirstdecidednottoprosecutethemurderers。Yetallthesefloggingschoolmastersandorphanagefiendsandbabyfarmersare"loversofchildren。"Theyarereallychildfanciers(likebirdfanciersordogfanciers)byirresistiblenaturalpredilection，neverhappyunlesstheyaresurroundedbytheirvictims，andalwayscertaintomaketheirlivingbyacceptingthecustodyofchildren，nomatterhowmanyalternativeoccupationsmaybeavailable。Andbearinmindthattheyareonlytheextremeinstancesofwhatiscommonlycallednaturalaffection，apparentlybecauseitisobviouslyunnatural。

Thereallynaturalfeelingofadultsforchildreninthelongprosaicintervalsbetweenthemomentsofaffectionateimpulseisjustthatfeelingthatleadsthemtoavoidtheircareandconstantcompanyasaburdenbeyondbearing，andtopretendthattheplacestheysendthemtoarewellconducted，beneficial，andindispensabletothesuccessofthechildreninafterlife。Thetruecryofthekindmotherafterherlittlerosaryofkissesis"Runaway，darling。"Itisnicerthan"Holdyournoise，youyoungdevil；oritwillbetheworseforyou"；

butfundamentallyitmeansthesamething:thatifyoucompelanadultandachildtoliveinoneanother"scompanyeithertheadultorthechildwillbemiserable。Thereisnothingwhateverunnaturalorwrongorshockinginthisfact；andthereisnoharminitifonlyitbesensiblyfacedandprovidedfor。Themischiefthatitdoesatpresentisproducedbyoureffortstoignoreit，ortosmotheritunderaheapofsentimentalliesandfalsepretences。

ChildhoodasaStateofSinUnfortunatelyallthisnonsensetendstoaccumulateaswebecomemoresympathetic。Inmanyfamiliesitisstillthecustomtotreatchildhoodfranklyasastateofsin，andimpudentlyproclaimthemonstrousprinciplethatlittlechildrenshouldbeseenandnotheard，andtoenforceasetofprisonrulesdesignedsolelytomakecohabitationwithchildrenasconvenientaspossibleforadultswithoutthesmallestregardfortheinterests，eitherremoteorimmediate，ofthechildren。Thissystemtendstoproduceatough，ratherbrutal，stupid，unscrupulousclass，withafixedideathatallenjoymentconsistsinundetectedsinning；andincertainphasesofcivilizationpeopleofthiskindareapttogettheupperhandofmoreamiableandconscientiousracesandclasses。Theyhavetheferocityofachaineddog

andareproudofit。Buttheendofitisthattheyarealwaysinchains，evenattheheightoftheirmilitaryorpoliticalsuccess:theywineverythingonconditionthattheyareafraidtoenjoyit。Theircivilizationsrestonintimidation，whichissonecessarytothemthatwhentheycannotfindanybodybraveenoughtointimidatethemtheyintimidatethemselvesandliveinacontinualmoralandpoliticalpanic。Intheendtheygetfoundoutandbullied。Butthatisnotthepointthatconcernsushere，whichis，thattheyareinsomerespectsbetterbroughtupthanthechildrenofsentimentalpeoplewhoarealwaysanxiousandmiserableabouttheirdutytotheirchildren，andwhoendbyneithermakingtheirchildrenhappynorhavingatolerablelifeforthemselves。Aselfishtyrantyouknowwheretohave，andhe(orshe)atleastdoesnotconfuseyouraffections；butaconscientiousandkindlymeddlermayliterallyworryyououtofyoursenses。Itisfortunatethatonlyveryfewparentsarecapableofdoingwhattheyconceivetheirdutycontinuouslyorevenatall，andthatstillfeweraretoughenoughtorideroughshodovertheirchildrenathome。

SchoolButpleaseobservethelimitation"athome。"Whatprivateamateurparentalenterprisecannotdomaybedoneveryeffectivelybyorganizedprofessionalenterpriseinlargeinstitutionsestablishedforthepurpose。Anditistosuchprofessionalenterprisethatparentshandovertheirchildrenwhentheycanaffordit。Theysendtheirchildrentoschool；andthereis，onthewhole，nothingonearthintendedforinnocentpeoplesohorribleasaschool。Tobeginwith，itisaprison。Butitisinsomerespectsmorecruelthanaprison。

Inaprison，forinstance，youarenotforcedtoreadbookswrittenbythewardersandthegovernor(whoofcoursewouldnotbewardersandgovernorsiftheycouldwritereadablebooks)，andbeatenorotherwisetormentedifyoucannotremembertheirutterlyunmemorablecontents。

Intheprisonyouarenotforcedtositlisteningtoturnkeysdiscoursingwithoutcharmorinterestonsubjectsthattheydontunderstandanddontcareabout，andarethereforeincapableofmakingyouunderstandorcareabout。Inaprisontheymaytortureyourbody；

buttheydonottortureyourbrains；andtheyprotectyouagainstviolenceandoutragefromyourfellowprisoners。Inaschoolyouhavenoneoftheseadvantages。Withtheworld"sbookshelvesloadedwithfascinatingandinspiredbooks，theverymannasentdownfromHeaventofeedyoursouls，youareforcedtoreadahideousimposturecalledaschoolbook，writtenbyamanwhocannotwrite:abookfromwhichnohumanbeingcanlearnanything:abookwhich，thoughyoumaydecipherit，youcannotinanyfruitfulsenseread，thoughtheenforcedattemptwillmakeyouloathethesightofabookalltherestofyourlife。Withmillionsofacresofwoodsandvalleysandhillsandwindandairandbirdsandstreamsandfishesandallsortsofinstructiveandhealthythingseasilyaccessible，orwithstreetsandshopwindowsandcrowdsandvehiclesandallsortsofcitydelightsatthedoor，youareforcedtosit，notinaroomwithsomehumangraceandcomfortorfurnitureanddecoration，butinastalledpoundwithalotofotherchildren，beatenifyoutalk，beatenifyoumove，beatenifyoucannotprovebyansweringidioticquestionsthatevenwhenyouescapedfromthepoundandfromtheeyeofyourgaoler，youwerestillagonizingoverhisdetestableshambooksinsteadofdaringtolive。

Andyourchildishhatredofyourgaolerandfloggerisnothingtohisadulthatredofyou；forheisaslaveforcedtoendureyoursocietyforhisdailybread。Youhavenoteventhesatisfactionofknowinghowyouaretorturinghimandhowheloathesyou；andyougiveyourselfunnecessarypainstoannoyhimwithfurtivetricksandspitefuldoingofforbiddenthings。Nowonderheissometimesprovokedtofiendishoutburstsofwrath。Nowondermenofdownrightsense，likeDrJohnson，admitthatundersuchcircumstanceschildrenwillnotlearnanythingunlesstheyaresocruellybeatenthattheymakedesperateeffortstomemorizewordsandphrasestoescapeflagellation。Itisaghastlybusiness，quitebeyondwords，thisschooling。

AndnowIhearcriesofprotestarisingallround。Firstmyownschoolmasters，ortheirghosts

askingwhetherIwascruellybeatenatschool?No；butthenIdidnotlearnanythingatschool。DrJohnson"sschoolmasterpresumablydidcareenoughwhetherSamlearnedanythingtobeathimsavagelyenoughtoforcehimtolamehismind——forJohnson"sgreatmind_was_lamed——bylearninghislessons。Noneofmyschoolmastersreallycaredarap(orperhapsitwouldbefairertothemtosaythattheiremployersdidnotcarearapandthereforedidnotgivethemthenecessarycaningpowers)whetherIlearntmylessonsornot，providedmyfatherpaidmyschoolingbill，thecollectionofwhichwastherealobjectoftheschool。ConsequentlyI

didnotlearnmyschoollessons，havingmuchmoreimportantonesinhand，withtheresultthatIhavenotwastedmylifetriflingwithliteraryfoolsintavernsasJohnsondidwhenheshouldhavebeenshakingEnglandwiththethunderofhisspirit。Myschoolingdidmeagreatdealofharmandnogoodwhatever:itwassimplydraggingachild"ssoulthroughthedirt；butIescapedSqueersandCreaklejustasIescapedJohnsonandCarlyle。Andthisiswhathappenstomostofus。Wearenoteffectivelycoercedtolearn:westaveoffpunishmentasfaraswecanbylyingandtrickeryandguessingandusingourwits；andwhenthisdoesnotsufficewescribbleimpositions，orsufferextraimprisonments——"keepingin"wasthephraseinmytime——orletamasterstrikeuswithacaneandfallbackonourprideatbeingabletohearitphysically(henotbeingallowedtohitustoohard)

tooutfacethedishonorweshouldhavebeentaughttodieratherthanendure。Andsoidlenessandworthlessnessontheonehandandapretenceofcoercionontheotherbecameadespicableroutine。Ifmyschoolmastershadbeenreallyengagedineducatingmeinsteadofpainfullyearningtheirbreadbykeepingmefromannoyingmyelderstheywouldhaveturnedmeoutoftheschool，tellingmethatIwasthoroughlydisloyaltoit；thatIhadnointentionoflearning；thatI

wasmockinganddistractingtheboyswhodidwishtolearn；thatIwasaliarandashirkerandaseditiouslittlenuisance；andthatnothingcouldinjuremeincharacteranddegradetheiroccupationmorethanallowingme(muchlessforcingme)toremainintheschoolundersuchconditions。Butinordertogetexpelled，itwasnecessarycommitacrimeofsuchatrocitythattheparentsofotherboyswouldhavethreatenedtoremovetheirsonssoonerthanallowthemtobeschoolfellowswiththedelinquent。Icanrememberonlyonecaseinwhichsuchapenaltywasthreatened；andinthatcasetheculprit，aboarder，hadkissedahousemaid，orpossibly，beingahandsomeyouth，beenkissedbyher。Shedidnotkissme；andnobodyeverdreamtofexpellingme。Thetruthwas，aboymeantjustsomuchayeartotheinstitution。Thatwaswhyhewaskeptthereagainsthiswill。Thatwaswhyhewaskepttherewhenhisexpulsionwouldhavebeenanunspeakablereliefandbenefitbothtohisteachersandhimself。

Itmaybearguedthatiftheuncommercialattitudehadbeentaken，andallthedisloyalwastersandidlersshewnsternlytothedoor，theschoolwouldnothavebeenemptied，butfilled。Butsohonestanattitudewasimpossible。Themastersmusthavehatedtheschoolmuchmorethantheboysdid。Justasyoucannotimprisonamanwithoutimprisoningawardertoseethathedoesnotescape，thewarderbeingtiedtotheprisonaseffectuallybythefearofunemploymentandstarvationastheprisonerisbytheboltsandbars，sothesepoorschoolmasters，withtheirsmallsalariesandlargeclasses，wereasmuchprisonersaswewere，andmuchmoreresponsibleandanxiousones。

Theycouldnotimposetheheroicattitudeontheiremployers；norwouldtheyhavebeenabletoobtainplacesasschoolmastersiftheirhabitshadbeenheroic。Forthebestofthemtheiremploymentwasprovisional:theylookedforwardtoescapingfromitintothepulpit。

Theablestandmostimpatientofthemwereoftensoirritatedbytheawkward，slow-witted，slovenlyboys:thatis，theonesthatrequiredspecialconsiderationandpatienttreatment，thattheyventedtheirirritationonthemruthlessly，nothingbeingeasierthantoentraporbewildersuchaboyintogivingapretextforpunishinghim。

MyScholasticAcquirementsTheresults，asfarasIwasconcerned，werewhatmighthavebeenexpected。MyschoolmadeonlythethinnestpretenceofteachinganythingbutLatinandGreek。WhenIwentthereasaverysmallboyI

knewagooddealofLatingrammarwhichIhadbeentaughtinafewweeksprivatelybymyuncle。WhenIhadbeenseveralyearsatschoolthissameuncleexaminedmeanddiscoveredthatthenetresultofmyschoolingwasthatIhadforgottenwhathehadtaughtme，andhadlearntnothingelse。Tothisday，thoughIcanstilldeclineaLatinnounandrepeatsomeoftheoldparadigmsintheoldmeaninglessway，becausetheirrhythmstickstome，IhaveneveryetseenaLatininscriptiononatombthatIcouldtranslatethroughout。OfGreekI

candecipherperhapsthegreaterpartoftheGreekalphabet。Inshort，Iam，astoclassicaleducation，anotherShakespear。IcanreadFrenchaseasilyasEnglish；andunderpressureofnecessityI

canturntoaccountsomescrapsofGermanandalittleoperaticItalian；buttheseIwasnevertaughtatschool。Instead，Iwastaughtlying，dishonorablesubmissiontotyranny，dirtystories，ablasphemoushabitoftreatingloveandmaternityasobscenejokes，hopelessness，evasion，derision，cowardice，andalltheblackguard"sshiftsbywhichthecowardintimidatesothercowards。AndifIhadbeenaboarderatanEnglishpublicschoolinsteadofadayboyatanIrishone，Imighthavehadtoaddtothese，deepershamesstill。

SchoolmastersofGeniusAndnow，ifIhavereducedtheghostsofmyschoolmasterstomelancholyacquiescenceinallthis(whicheverybodywhohasbeenatanordinaryschoolwillrecognizeastrue)，Ihavestilltomeetthemuchmoresincereprotestsofthehandfulofpeoplewhohaveanaturalgeniusfor"bringingup"children。IshallbeaskedwithkindlyscornwhetherIhaveheardofFroebelandPestalozzi，whetherIknowtheworkthatisbeingdonebyMissMasonandtheDottoressaMontessorior，bestofallasIthink，theEurythmicsSchoolofJacquesDalcrozeatHelleraunearDresden。JacquesDalcroze，likePlato，believesinsaturatinghispupilswithmusic。Theywalktomusic，playtomusic，worktomusic，obeydrillcommandsthatwouldbewilderaguardsmantomusic，thinktomusic，livetomusic，getsoclearheadedaboutmusicthattheycanmovetheirseverallimbseachinadifferentmetreuntiltheybecomecomplicatedlivingmagazinesofcrossrhythms，and，whatismore，makemusicforotherstodoallthesethingsto。Strangerstill，thoughJacquesDalcroze

likeallthesegreatteachers，isthecompletestoftyrants，knowingwhatisrightandthathemustandwillhavethelessonjustsoorelsebreakhisheart(notsomebodyelse"s，observe)，yethisschoolissofascinatingthateverywomanwhoseesitexclaims"Oh，whywasInottaughtlikethis!"andelderlygentlemenexcitedlyenrolthemselvesasstudentsanddistractclassesofinfantsbytheirdesperateendeavorstobeattwoinabarwithonehandandthreewiththeother，andstartoffonearnestwalksroundtheroom，takingtwostepsbackwardwheneverMonsieurDalerozecallsout"Hop!"Ohyes:Iknowallaboutthesewonderfulschoolsthatyoucannotkeepchildrenorevenadultsoutof，andtheseteacherswhomtheirpupilsnotonlyobeywithoutcoercion，butadore。AndifyouwilltellmeroughlyhowmanyMasonsandMontessorisandDalcrozesyouthinkyoucanpickupinEuropeforsalariesoffromthirtyshillingstofivepoundsaweek，Iwillestimateyourchancesofconvertingyourmillionsoflittlescholastichellsintolittlescholasticheavens。

Ifyouareadistressedgentlewomanstartingtomakealiving，youcanstillopenalittleschool；andyoucaneasilybuyasecondhandbrassplateinscribedPESTALOZZIANINSTITUTEandnailittoyourdoor，thoughyouhavenomoreideaofwhoPestalozziwasandwhatheadvocatedorhowhediditthanthemanagerofahotelwhichbeganasaHydropathichasofthewatercure。OryoucanbuyacheaperplateinscribedKINDERGARTEN，andimagine，orleaveotherstoimagine，thatFroebelisthegoverninggeniusofyourlittle_creche_。NodoubtthenewbrassplatesarebeinginscribedMontessoriInstitute，andwillbeusedwhentheDotteressaisnolongerwithusbyalltheMrsPipchinsandMrsWilfersthroughoutthisunhappyland。

Iwillgofurther，andadmitthatthebrassplatesmaynotallbefrauds。IwilltellyouthatoneofmyfriendswasledtogenuineloveandconsiderableknowledgeofclassicalliteraturebyanIrishschoolmasterwhomyouwouldcallahedgeschoolmaster(hewouldnotbeallowedtoteachanythingnow)andthatittookfouryearsofHarrowtoobliteratethatknowledgeandchangetheloveintoloathing。

Anotherfriendofminewhokeepsaschoolinthesuburbs，andwhodeeplydeploresmy"prejudiceagainstschoolmasters，"hasofferedtoacceptmychallengetotellhispupilsthattheyareasfreetogetupandgooutoftheschoolatanymomentastheirparentsaretogetupandgooutofatheatrewheremyplaysarebeingperformed。EvenamongmyownschoolmastersIcanrecollectafewwhoseclassesinterestedme，andwhomIshouldcertainlyhavepesteredforinformationandinstructionifIcouldhavegotintoanydecenthumanrelationshipwiththem，andiftheyhadnotbeencompelledbytheirpositiontodefendthemselvesascarefullyagainstsuchadvancesasagainstfurtiveattemptstohurtthemaccidentallyinthefootballfieldorsmashtheirhatswithaclodfrombehindawall。Buttheserarecasesactuallydomoreharmthangood；fortheyencourageustopretendthatallschoolmastersarelikethat。Ofwhatuseisittousthattherearealwayssomewheretwoorthreeteachersofchildrenwhosespecificgeniusfortheiroccupationtriumphsoverourtyrannoussystemandevenfindsinititsopportunity?Forthatmatter，itispossible，ifdifficult，tofindasolicitor，orevenajudge，whohassomenotionofwhatlawmeans，adoctorwithaglimmeringofscience，anofficerwhounderstandsdutyanddiscipline

andaclergymanwithaninklingofreligion，thoughtherearenothinglikeenoughofthemtogoround。Buteventhefewwho，likeIbsen"sMrsSolness，have"ageniusfornursingthesoulsoflittlechildren"arelikeangelsforcedtoworkinprisonsinsteadofinheaven；andevenatthattheyaremostlyunderpaidanddespised。ThatfriendofminewhowentfromthehedgeschoolmastertoHarrowoncesawaschoolmasterrushfromanelementaryschoolinpursuitofaboyandstrikehim。Myfriend，notconsideringthattheunfortunatemanwasprobablygoadedbeyondendurance，smotetheschoolmasterandblackenedhiseye。Theschoolmasterappealedtothelaw；andmyfriendfoundhimselfwaitingnervouslyintheHammersmithPoliceCourttoanswerforhisbreachofthepeace。Inhisanxietyheaskedapoliceofficerwhatwouldhappentohim。"Whatdidyoudo?"saidtheofficer。"Igaveamanablackeye"saidmyfriend。"Sixpoundsifhewasagentleman:twopoundsifhewasnt，"saidtheconstable。"Hewasaschoolmaster"saidmyfriend。"Twopounds"saidtheofficer；andtwopounds

itwas。Thebloodmoneywaspaidcheerfully；andIhaveeversinceadvisedelementaryschoolmasterstoqualifythemselvesintheartofself-defence，astheBritishConstitutionexpressesournationalestimateofthembyallowingustoblackenthreeoftheireyesforthesamepriceasoneofanordinaryprofessionalman。HowmanyFroebelsandPestalozzisandMissMasonsandDoctoressMontessoriswouldyoubelikelytogetonthesetermseveniftheyoccurredmuchmorefrequentlyinnaturethantheyactuallydo?

No:Icannotbeputoffbythenewsthatoursystemwouldbeperfectifitwereworkedbyangels。Idonotadmititevenatthat，justasIdonotadmitthatiftheskyfellweshouldallcatchlarks。ButI