第7章
Alowvoice，withagoodturnofexpression，andsweetcadenceattheendofit，begg"dforatwelve-souspiecebetwixtthem，fortheloveofheaven。Ithoughtitsingularthatabeggarshouldfixthequotaofanalms-andthatthesumshouldbetwelvetimesasmuchaswhatisusuallygiveninthedark-Theybothseemedastonishedatitasmuchasmyself-Twelvesous!saidone-Atwelve-souspiece!saidtheother，-andmadenoreply。
Thepoormansaid，heknewnothowtoasklessofladiesoftheirrank；andbow"ddownhisheadtotheground。
Poo!saidthey，-wehavenomoney。
Thebeggarremainedsilentforamomentortwo，andrenew"dhissupplication-
Donot，myfairyoungladies，saidhe，stopyourgoodearsagainstme-Uponmyword，honestman!saidtheyounger，wehavenochange-ThenGodblessyou，saidthepoorman，andmultiplythosejoyswhichyoucangivetootherswithoutchange!-I
observedtheeldersisterputherhandintoherpocket-I"llsee，saidshe，ifIhaveasous。Asous!givetwelve，saidthesupplicant；Naturehasbeenbountifultoyou，bebountifultoapoorman-
Iwouldfriend，withallmyheart，saidtheyounger，ifIhadit。
Myfaircharitable!saidhe，addressinghimselftotheelder，-
whatisitbutyourgoodnessandhumanitywhichmakesyourbrighteyessosweet，thattheyoutshinethemorningeveninthisdarkpassage?andwhatwasitwhichmadetheMarquisdeSanterreandhisbrothersaysomuchofyoubothastheyjustpassedby?
Thetwoladiesseemedmuchaffected；andimpulsively，atthesametimetheybothputtheirhandsintotheirpocket，andeachtookoutatwelve-souspiece。
Thecontestbetwixtthemandthepoorsupplicantwasnomore；-itwascontinuedbetwixtthemselves，whichofthetwoshouldgivethetwelve-souspieceincharity；-and，toendthedispute，theybothgaveittogether，andthemanwentaway。
THERIDDLEEXPLAINED。PARIS。
ISTEPPEDhastilyafterhim:itwastheverymanwhosesuccessinaskingcharityofthewomenbeforethedoorofthehotelhadsopuzzledme；-andIfoundatoncehissecret，oratleastthebasisofit:-"twasflattery。
Deliciousessence!howrefreshingartthoutoNature!howstronglyareallitspowersandallitsweaknessesonthyside!howsweetlydostthoumixwiththeblood，andhelpitthroughthemostdifficultandtortuouspassagestotheheart!
Thepoorman，ashewasnotstraiten"dfortime，hadgivenithereinalargerdose:"tiscertainhehadawayofbringingitintoalessform，forthemanysuddencaseshehadtodowithinthestreets:buthowhecontrivedtocorrect，sweeten，concentre，andqualifyit，-Ivexnotmyspiritwiththeenquiry；-itisenoughthebeggargainedtwotwelve-souspieces-andtheycanbesttelltherest，whohavegainedmuchgreatermattersbyit。
PARIS。
WEgetforwardsintheworld，notsomuchbydoingservices，asreceivingthem；youtakeawitheringtwig，andputitintheground；andthenyouwaterit，becauseyouhaveplantedit。
MonsieurleCountdeB-，merelybecausehehaddonemeonekindnessintheaffairofmypassport，wouldgoonanddomeanother，thefewdayshewasatParis，inmakingmeknowntoafewpeopleofrank；andtheyweretopresentmetoothers，andsoon。
IhadgotmasterofmySECRETjustintimetoturnthesehonourstosomelittleaccount；otherwise，asiscommonlythecase，Ishouldhavedinedorsupp"dasingletimeortworound，andthen，byTRANSLATINGFrenchlooksandattitudesintoplainEnglish，Ishouldpresentlyhaveseen，thatIhadholdoftheCOUVERT(3)ofsomemoreentertainingguest；andincourseshouldhaveresignedallmyplacesoneafteranother，merelyupontheprinciplethatIcouldnotkeepthem-Asitwas，thingsdidnotgomuchamiss。
IhadthehonourofbeingintroducedtotheoldMarquisdeB-:indaysofyorehehadsignalizedhimselfbysomesmallfeatsofchivalryintheCOURD"AMOUR，andhaddress"dhimselfouttotheideaoftiltsandtournamentseversince-TheMarquisdeB-
wish"dtohaveitthoughttheaffairwassomewhereelsethaninhisbrain。"HecouldliketotakeatriptoEngland，"andaskedmuchoftheEnglishladies-Staywhereyouare，Ibeseechyou，MonsieurleMarquis，saidI-LESMESSIEURSANGLOIScanscarcegetakindlookfromthemasitis-TheMarquisinvitedmetosupper。
MonsieurP-，thefarmer-general，wasjustasinquisitiveaboutourtaxes。Theywereveryconsiderable，heheard-Ifweknewbuthowtocollectthem，saidI，makinghimalowbow。
IcouldneverhavebeeninvitedtoMons。P-"sconcertsuponanyotherterms。
IhadbeenmisrepresentedtoMadamedeQ-asanESPRIT-MadamedeQ-wasanESPRITherself:sheburntwithimpatiencetoseeme，andhearmetalk。Ihadnottakenmyseat，beforeIsawshedidnotcareasouswhetherIhadanywitorno；-Iwasletin，tobeconvincedshehad。IcallheaventowitnessIneveronceopenedthedoorofmylips。
MadamedeV-vow"dtoeverycreatureshemet-"Shehadneverhadamoreimprovingconversationwithamaninherlife。"
TherearethreeepochasintheempireofaFrenchwoman-Sheiscoquette，-thendeist，-thenDEVOTE:theempireduringtheseisneverlost，-sheonlychangeshersubjectswhenthirty-fiveyearsandmorehaveunpeopledherdominionoftheslavesoflove，shere-
peoplesitwithslavesofinfidelity，-andthenwiththeslavesofthechurch。
MadamedeV-wasvibratingbetwixtthefirstofthoseepochas:thecolouroftherosewasfadingfastaway；-sheoughttohavebeenadeistfiveyearsbeforethetimeIhadthehonourtopaymyfirstvisit。
Sheplacedmeuponthesamesofawithher，forthesakeofdisputingthepointofreligionmoreclosely-InshortMadamedeV-toldmeshebelievednothing-ItoldMadamedeV-itmightbeherprinciple，butIwassureitcouldnotbeherinteresttoleveltheoutworks，withoutwhichIcouldnotconceivehowsuchacitadelasherscouldbedefended；-thattherewasnotamoredangerousthingintheworldthanforabeautytobeadeist；-thatitwasadebtIowedmycreednottoconcealitfromher；-thatIhadnotbeenfiveminutessatuponthesofabesideher，butIhadbeguntoformdesigns；-andwhatisit，butthesentimentsofreligion，andthepersuasiontheyhadexcitedinherbreast，whichcouldhavecheck"dthemastheyroseup?
Wearenotadamant，saidI，takingholdofherhand；-andthereisneedofallrestraints，tillageinherowntimestealsinandlaysthemonus-Butmydearlady，saidI，kissingherhand，-"tistoo-toosoon。
IdeclareIhadthecreditalloverParisofunpervertingMadamedeV-SheaffirmedtoMonsieurD-andtheAbbeM-，thatinonehalfhourIhadsaidmoreforrevealedreligion，thanalltheirEncyclopaediahadsaidagainstit-IwaslisteddirectlyintoMadamedeV-"sCOTERIE；-andsheputofftheepochaofdeismfortwoyears。
IrememberitwasinthisCOTERIE，inthemiddleofadiscourse，inwhichIwasshowingthenecessityofaFIRSTcause，whentheyoungCountdeFaineanttookmebythehandtothefarthestcorneroftheroom，totellmemySOLITAIREwaspinn"dtoostraightaboutmyneck-ItshouldbePLUSBADINANT，saidtheCount，lookingdownuponhisown；-butaword，MonsieurYorick，TOTHEWISE-
AndFROMTHEWISE，MonsieurleCount，repliedI，makinghimabow，-ISENOUGH。
TheCountdeFaineantembracedmewithmoreardourthaneverIwasembracedbymortalman。
ForthreeweekstogetherIwasofeveryman"sopinionImet-
PARDI!CEMONSIEURYORICKAAUTANTD"ESPRITQUENOUSAUTRES-IL
RAISONNEBIEN，saidanother-C"ESTUNBONENFANT，saidathird-
AndatthispriceIcouldhaveeatenanddrankandbeenmerryallthedaysofmylifeatParis；but"twasadishonestRECKONING；-I
grewashamedofit-Itwasthegainofaslave；-everysentimentofhonourrevoltedagainstit；-thehigherIgot，themorewasI
forceduponmyBEGGARLYSYSTEM；-thebettertheCOTERIE，-themorechildrenofArt；-Ilanguish"dforthoseofNature:andonenight，afteramostvileprostitutionofmyselftohalfadozendifferentpeople，Igrewsick，-wenttobed；-order"dLaFleurtogetmehorsesinthemorningtosetoutforItaly。
MARIA。MOULINES。
INEVERfeltwhatthedistressofplentywasinanyoneshapetillnow，-totravelitthroughtheBourbonnois，thesweetestpartofFrance，-intheheydayofthevintage，whenNatureispouringherabundanceintoeveryone"slap，andeveryeyeisliftedup，-ajourney，througheachstepofwhichMusicbeatstimetoLABOUR，andallherchildrenarerejoicingastheycarryintheirclusters:topassthroughthiswithmyaffectionsflyingout，andkindlingateverygroupbeforeme，-andeveryoneofthemwaspregnantwithadventures-
Justheaven!-itwouldfilluptwentyvolumes；-andalas!Ihavebutafewsmallpagesleftofthistocrowditinto，-andhalfofthesemustbetakenupwiththepoorMariamyfriend，Mr。Shandy，metwithnearMoulines。
Thestoryhehadtoldofthatdisorderedmaidaffectedmenotalittleinthereading；butwhenIgotwithintheneighbourhoodwhereshelived，itreturnedsostrongintothemind，thatIcouldnotresistanimpulsewhichpromptedmetogohalfaleagueoutoftheroad，tothevillagewhereherparentsdwelt，toenquireafterher。
"Tisgoing，Iown，liketheKnightoftheWoefulCountenanceinquestofmelancholyadventures。ButIknownothowitis，butIamneversoperfectlyconsciousoftheexistenceofasoulwithinme，aswhenIamentangledinthem。
Theoldmothercametothedoor；herlookstoldmethestorybeforesheopen"dhermouth-Shehadlostherhusband；hehaddied，shesaid，ofanguish，forthelossofMaria"ssenses，aboutamonthbefore-Shehadfearedatfirst，sheadded，thatitwouldhaveplunder"dherpoorgirlofwhatlittleunderstandingwasleft；-
but，onthecontrary，ithadbroughthermoretoherself:-still，shecouldnotrest-Herpoordaughter，shesaid，crying，waswanderingsomewhereabouttheroad。
WhydoesmypulsebeatlanguidasIwritethis?andwhatmadeLaFleur，whoseheartseem"donlytobetunedtojoy，topassthebackofhishandtwiceacrosshiseyes，asthewomanstoodandtoldit?
Ibeckonedtothepostiliontoturnbackintotheroad。
WhenwehadgotwithinhalfaleagueofMoulines，atalittleopeningintheroadleadingtoathicket，IdiscoveredpoorMariasittingunderapoplar。Shewassittingwithherelbowinherlap，andherheadleaningononesidewithinherhand:-asmallbrookranatthefootofthetree。
IbidthepostiliongoonwiththechaisetoMoulines-andLaFleurtobespeakmysupper；-andthatIwouldwalkafterhim。
Shewasdress"dinwhite，andmuchasmyfrienddescribedher，exceptthatherhairhungloose，whichbeforewastwistedwithinasilknet-Shehadsuperaddedlikewisetoherjacket，apalegreenriband，whichfellacrosshershouldertothewaist；attheendofwhichhungherpipe-Hergoathadbeenasfaithlessasherlover；
andshehadgotalittledoginlieuofhim，whichshehadkepttiedbyastringtohergirdle:asIlookedatherdog，shedrewhimtowardsherwiththestring-"Thoushaltnotleaveme，Sylvio，"saidshe。Ilook"dinMaria"seyesandsawshewasthinkingmoreofherfatherthanofherlover，orherlittlegoat；
for，assheutter"dthem，thetearstrickleddownhercheeks。
Isatdownclosebyher；andMarialetmewipethemawayastheyfell，withmyhandkerchief-Ithensteep"ditinmyown，-andtheninhers，-andtheninmine，-andthenIwip"dhersagain；-
andasIdidit，Ifeltsuchundescribableemotionswithinme，asI
amsurecouldnotbeaccountedforfromanycombinationsofmatterandmotion。
IampositiveIhaveasoul；norcanallthebookswithwhichmaterialistshavepester"dtheworldeverconvincemetothecontrary。
MARIA。
WHENMariahadcomealittletoherself，Iask"dherifsherememberedapalethinpersonofaman，whohadsatdownbetwixtherandhergoatabouttwoyearsbefore?Shesaidshewasunsettledmuchatthattime，butremembereditupontwoaccounts:-
thatillasshewas，shesawthepersonpitiedher；andnext，thathergoathadstolenhishandkerchief，andshehadbeathimforthetheft；-shehadwash"dit，shesaid，inthebrook，andkeptiteversinceinherpockettorestoreittohimincasesheshouldeverseehimagain，which，sheadded，hehadhalfpromisedher。Asshetoldmethis，shetookthehandkerchiefoutofherpockettoletmeseeit；shehadfoldeditupneatlyinacoupleofvineleaves，tiedroundwithatendril；-onopeningit，IsawanS。
markedinoneofthecorners。
Shehadsincethat，shetoldme，stray"dasfarasRome，andwalk"droundSt。Peter"sonce，-andreturn"dback；-thatshefoundherwayaloneacrosstheApennines；-hadtravell"doverallLombardy，withoutmoney，-andthroughtheflintyroadsofSavoywithoutshoes:-howshehadborneit，andhowshehadgotsupported，shecouldnottell；-butGODTEMPERSTHEWIND，saidMaria，TOTHE
SHORNLAMB。
Shornindeed!andtothequick，saidI:andwastthouinmyownland，whereIhaveacottage，Iwouldtaketheetoit，andshelterthee:thoushouldsteatofmyownbreadanddrinkofmyowncup；-
IwouldbekindtothySylvio；-inallthyweaknessesandwanderingsIwouldseekaftertheeandbringtheeback；-whenthesunwentdownIwouldsaymyprayers:andwhenIhaddonethoushouldstplaythyeveningsonguponthypipe，norwouldtheincenseofmysacrificebeworseacceptedforenteringheavenalongwiththatofabrokenheart!
Naturemeltedwithinme，asIutter"dthis；andMariaobserving，asItookoutmyhandkerchief，thatitwassteep"dtoomuchalreadytobeofuse，wouldneedsgowashitinthestream-Andwherewillyoudryit，Maria?saidI-I"lldryitinmybosom，saidshe:-
"twilldomegood。
Andisyourheartstillsowarm，Maria?saidI。
Itouch"duponthestringonwhichhungallhersorrows:-shelook"dwithwistfuldisorderforsometimeinmyface；andthen，withoutsayinganything，tookherpipeandplay"dherservicetotheVirgin-ThestringIhadtouchedceasedtovibrate；-inamomentortwoMariareturnedtoherself，-letherpipefall，-androseup。
Andwhereareyougoing，Maria?saidI-Shesaid，toMoulines-
Letusgo，saidI，together-Mariaputherarmwithinmine，andlengtheningthestring，toletthedogfollow，-inthatorderweenter"dMoulines。
MARIA。MOULINES。
THOUGHIhatesalutationsandgreetingsinthemarket-place，yet，whenwegotintothemiddleofthis，Istopp"dtotakemylastlookandlastfarewellofMaria。
Maria，thoughnottall，wasneverthelessofthefirstorderoffineforms:-afflictionhadtouchedherlookswithsomethingthatwasscarceearthly；-stillshewasfeminine；-andsomuchwasthereaboutherofallthattheheartwishes，ortheeyelooksforinwoman，thatcouldthetracesbeeverwornoutofherbrain，andthoseofElizaoutofmine，sheshouldNOTONLYEATOFMYBREADAND
DRINKOFMYOWNCUP，butMariashouldlieinmybosom，andbeuntomeasadaughter。
Adieu，poorlucklessmaiden!-Imbibetheoilandwinewhichthecompassionofastranger，ashejourneyethonhisway，nowpoursintothywounds；-theBeing，whohastwicebruisedthee，canonlybindthemupforever。
THEBOURBONNNOIS。
THEREwasnothingfromwhichIhadpaintedoutformyselfsojoyousariotoftheaffections，asinthisjourneyinthevintage，throughthispartofFrance；butpressingthroughthisgate，ofsorrowtoit，mysufferingshavetotallyunfittedme。Ineverysceneoffestivity，IsawMariainthebackgroundofthepiece，sittingpensiveunderherpoplar；andIhadgotalmosttoLyonsbeforeIwasabletocastashadeacrossher-
DearSensibility!sourceinexhaustedofallthat"spreciousinourjoys，orcostlyinoursorrows!thouchainestthymartyrdownuponhisbedofstraw-and"tisthouwholift"sthimuptoHeaven!-
EternalFountainofourfeelings!-"tishereItracethee-andthisisthy"DIVINITYWHICHSTIRSWITHINME；"-notthat，insomesadandsickeningmoments，"MYSOULSHRINKSBACKUPONHERSELF，AND
STARTLESATDESTRUCTION；"-merepompofwords!-butthatIfeelsomegenerousjoysandgenerouscaresbeyondmyself；-allcomesfromthee，great-greatSENSORIUMoftheworld!whichvibrates，ifahairofourheadsbutfallsupontheground，intheremotestdesertofthycreation-Touch"dwiththee，EugeniusdrawsmycurtainwhenIlanguish-hearsmytaleofsymptoms，andblamestheweatherforthedisorderofhisnerves。Thougiv"staportionofitsometimestotheroughestpeasantwhotraversesthebleakestmountains；-hefindsthelaceratedlambofanother"sflock-ThismomentIbeholdhimleaningwithhisheadagainsthiscrook，withpiteousinclinationlookingdownuponit!-Oh!hadIcomeonemomentsooner!itbleedstodeath!-hisgentleheartbleedswithit-
Peacetothee，generousswain!-Iseethouwalkestoffwithanguish，-butthyjoysshallbalanceit；-for，happyisthycottage，-andhappyisthesharerofit，-andhappyarethelambswhichsportaboutyou!
THESUPPER。
ASHOEcomingloosefromtheforefootofthethill-horse，atthebeginningoftheascentofmountTaurira，thepostiliondismounted，twistedtheshoeoff，andputitinhispocket；astheascentwasoffiveorsixmiles，andthathorseourmaindependence，Imadeapointofhavingtheshoefastenedonagain，aswellaswecould；
butthepostilionhadthrownawaythenails，andthehammerinthechaiseboxbeingofnogreatusewithoutthem，Isubmittedtogoon。
Hehadnotmountedhalfamilehigher，when，comingtoaflintypieceofroad，thepoordevillostasecondshoe，andfromoffhisotherforefoot。Ithengotoutofthechaiseingoodearnest；andseeingahouseaboutaquarterofamiletothelefthand，withagreatdealtodoIprevaileduponthepostiliontoturnuptoit。
Thelookofthehouse，andofeverythingaboutit，aswedrewnearer，soonreconciledmetothedisaster-Itwasalittlefarm-
house，surroundedwithabouttwentyacresofvineyard，aboutasmuchcorn；-andclosetothehouse，ononeside，wasaPOTAGERIE
ofanacreandahalf，fullofeverythingwhichcouldmakeplentyinaFrenchpeasant"shouse；-and，ontheotherside，wasalittlewood，whichfurnishedwherewithaltodressit。ItwasabouteightintheeveningwhenIgottothehouse-soIleftthepostiliontomanagehispointashecould；-and，formine，Iwalkeddirectlyintothehouse。
Thefamilyconsistedofanoldgrey-headedmanandhiswife，withfiveorsixsonsandsons-in-law，andtheirseveralwives，andajoyousgenealogyoutofthem。
Theywereallsittingdowntogethertotheirlentil-soup；alargewheatenloafwasinthemiddleofthetable；andaflagonofwineateachendofitpromisedjoythroughthestagesoftherepast:-
"twasafeastoflove。
Theoldmanroseuptomeetme，andwitharespectfulcordialitywouldhavemesitdownatthetable；myheartwassetdownthemomentIenter"dtheroom；soIsatdownatoncelikeasonofthefamily；andtoinvestmyselfinthecharacterasspeedilyasI
could，Iinstantlyborrowedtheoldman"sknife，andtakinguptheloaf，cutmyselfaheartyluncheon；and，asIdidit，Isawatestimonyineveryeye，notonlyofanhonestwelcome，butofawelcomemix"dwiththanksthatIhadnotseem"dtodoubtit。
Wasitthis?ortellme，Nature，whatelseitwasthatmadethismorselsosweet，-andtowhatmagicIoweit，thatthedraughtI
tookoftheirflagonwassodeliciouswithit，thattheyremainuponmypalatetothishour?
Ifthesupperwastomytaste，-thegracewhichfolloweditwasmuchmoreso。
THEGRACE。
WHENsupperwasover，theoldmangaveaknockuponthetablewiththehaftofhisknife，tobidthemprepareforthedance:themomentthesignalwasgiven，thewomenandgirlsranaltogetherintoabackapartmenttotieuptheirhair，-andtheyoungmentothedoortowashtheirfaces，andchangetheirsabots；andinthreeminuteseverysoulwasreadyuponalittleesplanadebeforethehousetobegin-Theoldmanandhiswifecameoutlast，andplacingmebetwixtthem，satdownuponasofaofturfbythedoor。
Theoldmanhadsomefiftyyearsagobeennomeanperformeruponthevielle，-andattheagehewasthenof，touch"ditwellenoughforthepurpose。Hiswifesungnowandthenalittletothetune，-thenintermitted，-andjoin"dheroldmanagain，astheirchildrenandgrand-childrendancedbeforethem。
Itwasnottillthemiddleoftheseconddance，when，fromsomepausesinthemovements，whereintheyallseemedtolookup，I
fanciedIcoulddistinguishanelevationofspiritdifferentfromthatwhichisthecauseortheeffectofsimplejollity。Inaword，IthoughtIbeheldRELIGIONmixinginthedance:-but，asI
hadneverseenhersoengaged，Ishouldhavelook"duponitnowasoneoftheillusionsofanimaginationwhichiseternallymisleadingme，hadnottheoldman，assoonasthedanceended，said，thatthiswastheirconstantway；andthatallhislifelonghehadmadeitarule，aftersupperwasover，tocallouthisfamilytodanceandrejoice；believing，hesaid，thatacheerfulandcontentedmindwasthebestsortofthankstoheaventhatanilliteratepeasantcouldpay，-
Oralearnedprelateeither，saidI。
THECASEOFDELICACY。
WHENyouhavegainedthetopofMountTaurira，yourunpresentlydowntoLyons:-adieu，then，toallrapidmovements!"Tisajourneyofcaution；anditfaresbetterwithsentiments，nottobeinahurrywiththem；soIcontractedwithavoiturintotakehistimewithacoupleofmules，andconvoymeinmyownchaisesafetoTurin，throughSavoy。
Poor，patient，quiet，honestpeople!fearnot:yourpoverty，thetreasuryofyoursimplevirtues，willnotbeenviedyoubytheworld，norwillyourvalleysbeinvadedbyit-Nature!inthemidstofthydisorders，thouartstillfriendlytothescantinessthouhastcreated:withallthygreatworksaboutthee，littlehastthoulefttogive，eithertothescytheortothesickle；-buttothatlittlethougrantestsafetyandprotection；andsweetarethedwellingswhichstandsoshelter"d。
Lettheway-worntravellerventhiscomplaintsuponthesuddenturnsanddangersofyourroads，-yourrocks，-yourprecipices；-
thedifficultiesofgettingup，-thehorrorsofgettingdown，-
mountainsimpracticable，-andcataracts，whichrolldowngreatstonesfromtheirsummits，andblockhisroadup-ThepeasantshadbeenalldayatworkinremovingafragmentofthiskindbetweenSt。MichaelandMadane；and，bythetimemyvoituringottotheplace，itwantedfulltwohoursofcompletingbeforeapassagecouldanyhowbegain"d:therewasnothingbuttowaitwithpatience；-"twasawetandtempestuousnight；sothatbythedelay，andthattogether，thevoiturinfoundhimselfobligedtoputupfivemilesshortofhisstageatalittledecentkindofaninnbytheroadside。
Iforthwithtookpossessionofmybedchamber-gotagoodfire-
order"dsupper；andwasthankingheavenitwasnoworse，whenavoiturearrivedwithaladyinitandherservantmaid。
Astherewasnootherbed-chamberinthehouse，thehostess，-
withoutmuchnicety，ledthemintomine，tellingthem，assheusher"dthemin，thattherewasnobodyinitbutanEnglishgentleman；-thatthereweretwogoodbedsinit，andaclosetwithintheroomwhichheldanother。Theaccentinwhichshespokeofthisthirdbed，didnotsaymuchforit；-however，shesaidtherewerethreebedsandbutthreepeople，andshedurstsay，thegentlemanwoulddoanythingtoaccommodatematters-Ileftnottheladyamomenttomakeaconjectureaboutit-soinstantlymadeadeclarationthatIwoulddoanythinginmypower。
Asthisdidnotamounttoanabsolutesurrenderofmybed-chamber，Istillfeltmyselfsomuchtheproprietor，astohavearighttodothehonoursofit；-soIdesiredtheladytositdown，-
pressedherintothewarmestseat，-calledformorewood，-
desiredthehostesstoenlargetheplanofthesupper，andtofavouruswiththeverybestwine。
Theladyhadscarcewarm"dherselffiveminutesatthefire，beforeshebegantoturnherheadback，andgivealookatthebeds；andtheoftenershecasthereyesthatway，themoretheyreturn"dperplexd；-Ifeltforher-andformyself:forinafewminutes，whatbyherlooks，andthecaseitself，Ifoundmyselfasmuchembarrassedasitwaspossibletheladycouldbeherself。
Thatthebedsweweretolieinwereinoneandthesameroom，wasenoughsimplybyitselftohaveexcitedallthis；-butthepositionofthem，fortheystoodparallel，andsoveryclosetoeachotherasonlytoallowspaceforasmallwickerchairbetwixtthem，renderedtheaffairstillmoreoppressivetous；-theywerefixedupmoreovernearthefire；andtheprojectionofthechimneyononeside，andalargebeamwhichcross"dtheroomontheother，formedakindofrecessforthemthatwasnowayfavourabletothenicetyofoursensations:-ifanythingcouldhaveaddedtoit，itwasthatthetwobedswerebothofthemsoverysmall，astocutusofffromeveryideaoftheladyandthemaidlyingtogether；whichineitherofthem，couldithavebeenfeasible，mylyingbesidethem，thoughathingnottobewish"d，yettherewasnothinginitsoterriblewhichtheimaginationmightnothavepass"doverwithouttorment。
Asforthelittleroomwithin，itoffer"dlittleornoconsolationtous:"twasadamp，coldcloset，withahalfdismantledwindow-
shutter，andwithawindowwhichhadneitherglassnoroilpaperinittokeepoutthetempestofthenight。Ididnotendeavourtostiflemycoughwhentheladygaveapeepintoit；soitreducedthecaseincoursetothisalternative-Thattheladyshouldsacrificeherhealthtoherfeelings，andtakeupwiththeclosetherself，andabandonthebednextminetohermaid，-orthatthegirlshouldtakethecloset，&c。，&c。
TheladywasaPiedmonteseofaboutthirty，withaglowofhealthinhercheeks。ThemaidwasaLyonoiseoftwenty，andasbriskandlivelyaFrenchgirlasevermoved-Thereweredifficultieseveryway，-andtheobstacleofthestoneintheroad，whichbroughtusintothedistress，greatasitappearedwhilstthepeasantswereremovingit，wasbutapebbletowhatlayinourwaysnow-Ihaveonlytoadd，thatitdidnotlessentheweightwhichhunguponourspirits，thatwewerebothtoodelicatetocommunicatewhatwefelttoeachotherupontheoccasion。
Wesatdowntosupper；andhadwenothadmoregenerouswinetoitthanalittleinninSavoycouldhavefurnish"d，ourtongueshadbeentiedup，tillnecessityherselfhadsetthematliberty；-buttheladyhavingafewbottlesofBurgundyinhervoiture，sentdownherFILLEDECHAMBREforacoupleofthem；sothatbythetimesupperwasover，andwewereleftalone，wefeltourselvesinspiredwithastrengthofmindsufficienttotalk，atleast，withoutreserveuponoursituation。Weturn"diteveryway，anddebatedandconsidereditinallkindsoflightsinthecourseofatwohours"negotiation；attheendofwhichthearticlesweresettledfinallybetwixtus，andstipulatedforinformandmannerofatreatyofpeace，-andIbelievewithasmuchreligionandgoodfaithonbothsidesasinanytreatywhichhasyethadthehonourofbeinghandeddowntoposterity。
Theywereasfollow:-
First，astherightofthebed-chamberisinMonsieur，-andhethinkingthebednexttothefiretobethewarmest，heinsistsupontheconcessiononthelady"ssideoftakingupwithit。
Granted，onthepartofMadame；withaproviso，Thatasthecurtainsofthatbedareofaflimsytransparentcotton，andappearlikewisetooscantytodrawclose，thattheFILLEDECHAMBREshallfastenuptheopening，eitherbycorkingpins，orneedleandthread，insuchmannerasshallbedeem"dasufficientbarrieronthesideofMonsieur。
2dly。ItisrequiredonthepartofMadame，thatMonsieurshallliethewholenightthroughinhisROBEDECHAMBRE。
Rejected:inasmuchasMonsieurisnotworthaROBEDECHAMBRE；hehavingnothinginhisportmanteaubutsixshirtsandablacksilkpairofbreeches。
Thementioningthesilkpairofbreechesmadeanentirechangeofthearticle，-forthebreecheswereacceptedasanequivalentfortheROBEDECHAMBRE；andsoitwasstipulatedandagreedupon，thatIshouldlieinmyblacksilkbreechesallnight。
3dly。Itwasinsisteduponandstipulatedforbythelady，thatafterMonsieurwasgottobed，andthecandleandfireextinguished，thatMonsieurshouldnotspeakonesinglewordthewholenight。
Granted；providedMonsieur"ssayinghisprayersmightnotbedeemedaninfractionofthetreaty。
Therewasbutonepointforgotinthistreaty，andthatwasthemannerinwhichtheladyandmyselfshouldbeobligedtoundressandgettobed；-therewasbutonewayofdoingit，andthatI
leavetothereadertodevise；protestingasIdoit，thatifitisnotthemostdelicateinnature，"tisthefaultofhisownimagination，-againstwhichthisisnotmyfirstcomplaint。
Now，whenweweregottobed，whetheritwasthenoveltyofthesituation，orwhatitwas，Iknownot；butsoitwas，Icouldnotshutmyeyes；Itriedthisside，andthat，andturn"dandturn"dagain，tillafullhouraftermidnight；whenNatureandpatiencebothwearingout，-O，myGod!saidI-
Youhavebrokethetreaty，Monsieur，saidthelady，whohadnomoresleptthanmyself-Ibegg"dathousandpardons-butinsisteditwasnomorethananejaculation。Shemaintained"twasanentireinfractionofthetreaty-Imaintaineditwasprovidedforintheclauseofthethirdarticle。
Theladywouldbynomeansgiveupherpoint，thoughsheweaken"dherbarrierbyit；forinthewarmthofthedispute，Icouldheartwoorthreecorkingpinsfalloutofthecurtaintotheground。
Uponmywordandhonour，Madame，saidI，-stretchingmyarmoutofbedbywayofasseveration-
(Iwasgoingtohaveadded，thatIwouldnothavetrespassedagainsttheremotestideaofdecorumfortheworld)；-
ButtheFILLEDECHAMBREhearingtherewerewordsbetweenus，andfearingthathostilitieswouldensueincourse，hadcreptsilentlyoutofhercloset，anditbeingtotallydark，hadstolensoclosetoourbeds，thatshehadgotherselfintothenarrowpassagewhichseparatedthem，andhadadvancedsofarupastobeinalinebetwixthermistressandme:-
SothatwhenIstretch"doutmyhandIcaughtholdoftheFILLEDE。