第4章
Butifshebeblameless:
andif,contumaciousandresentful,sheharshlyrefusesto"condone";if,withblindself-willandarrogance,shehastheindecenthardihoodtoresist,andcomplain。IfshewailandworryforJUSTICE,andtalkofthemotherwholoved——thefatherwhosheltered——thebrotherwhowillprotecther,——andinsistonbeing"separated"fromyouandyourmistress,——then,mypoorfriend,Ifearwemustdosomething;butwewilldoaslittleaspossible:wewillgiveher(what,inpointoffact,youhavealreadygivenher),"theWoman"sDivorce";——leavetoremainALONE。Alone——marriedtoyourname。Nevertoknowtheprotectionofthisnominalhusband——northejoysoffamily——northeevery-daycompanionshipofarealhome。Nevertofeelorshowpreferenceforanyfriendnotofherownsex;thoughtempted,perhaps,byafeelingnoblerthanpassion;gratitudeforgenerouspity,thathaslightenedthePage58
drearydays。Tobeslandered,tormented,insulted;tofindtheworld,andtheworld"slaw,astheLordChancellortrulyobserves,utterlyindifferenttoherwrongsorherhusband"ssin;andthroughallthistoleadachaste,unspotted,patient,cheerfullife;withoutanger,withoutbitterness;andwithmeekrespectforthoseEnglishedictswhich,withaperverseparodyonScripture,pronouncethat"itisnotgoodforMANtobealone,"——butextremelygoodforwoman。Hardthatahusbandshouldnotdivorceanadulterouswife!Hardthatheshouldnotforma"purerconnection!"
Hard(thoughhehasacareerandoccupationoutofhisownhome),thatasecondchanceofdomestichappinessshouldnotagaingreethim!——Butnottheleasthardthathisweakerpartner,elevated,accordingtoMrGladstone,toanequalitywithhim,sincetheChristianadvent,——she,whoifshehasnotahomehasnothing——shouldbeleftstrandedandwreckedonthebarrensands,atthefootoftheworld"simpassiveandimpassablerocks。
"Oh!sheoughttohavecondoned:
sheoughttohavebeenquiet:herfriendsoughttohavehusheditallup。"——Perhaps。
Butthereisoneothercontingency:thereisthecontingencythatPage59
thewomanmaysay:"WouldIhadbeenindeedasinneranddivorced,ratherthanlivethislifeoftorment,injustice,andmockery!"Wildwords:terriblesinfulwords:aretheynot?Abad,shockingwomantosayso;nothingofthesaintandmartyrinhercomposition。ButalsoabadlawIthink。Abad,wickedlaw,whichmakesitutterlyindifferentwhethershecanorcannotclaimtobeaninnocentwoman:andwhetherherhusbandisorisnotabadworthlessman。
Eitherletmenrenouncetheprivilegeofdivorce,andtheassertionthatmarriageisadissolublecontract,——orallowtheweakerpartythatrefugefromintolerablewrong,whichtheyclaimasamatterofnecessityforthemselves。TheEcclesiasticallaw,whichdeniesthedissolubilityofmarriages,isintelligible,(thoughnotsointelligiblehow,thatbeingthecase,ecclesiasticsre-marrypersonsdivorcedbyparliament)。AndtheScotchlaw,whichreversestheecclesiasticallaw,andmakesmarriagedissolubleforbothsexesandallclasses,isintelligible。
ButtheLordChancellor"sBill,whichdeniestothepoorwhatitgivestotherich——andgrantstothehusbandwhatitrefusestothewife——isnotintelligibleofanyprincipleofjustice。
Page60
Indenyingwomentheequalclaim,whicheventheEcclesiasticalCourtsadmit,asfarastheyadmitanydivorce,LordCranworthassertshimselftobewiserthanLordEldon,——wiserthanLordThurlow,——andwiser(whichisverypossible)thanLordRosslyn;forthosethreedeceasedChancellors,ononeandthesameoccasion,agreedthattheprincipleonwhichsuchclaimoughttobeadmittedwassimplythis:wheretherewasanimpossibilityofreconciliation。
Itistruethattheparticularcaseonwhichthatdebatetookplace,wasacaseofincest。ItwasthefirstinstanceofadivorcebillpassedinEnglandonthepetitionofthewife;intheyear1801;inthecaseofMrAddison,whohadlivedwiththesisterofhiswife。ButthegeneralargumentwasnotlimitedtothatonecrimebyLordThurlow;andifithadbeen,whatnewconfusionistoarise,ifthebillnowpending,forMarriagewithaDeceasedWife"sSister,shouldbecomelaw?IsLordCranworth"sexceptionnolongertodeservethatdistinction?Orisittoremainincestifcombinedwithadultery;andceasetobeincestwhencombinedwithmarriage?Whatistobetherule?
LordThurlowdidnotattempttoclassify,(asLordCranworthhasdone,)whatshouldbeheldPage61
tobeunendurablewrong;hesaidmerely,thathehadbeenexcitedbythebilltoexaminethewholesubjectofdivorce,andthathewasoftheopiniontheremedywasnotconfinedtothehusband。Thattheprincipleshouldbe,——theimpossibilityofreconciliation。Hesaid,——"Whydoyougranttothehusbandadivorcefortheadulteryofthewife?Becauseheoughtnottoforgive;andseparationisinevitable。Wherethewifecannotforgive,——andseparationisinevitablebyreasonofthecrimeofthehusband,——thewifeisentitledtothelikeremedy。Whyshouldshebecondemned,forHIScrime,tospendtherestofherdaysintheunheard-of-situation,ofbeingneithervirgin,wife,norwidow?"
ThespeechofLordThurlowconvertedLordEldon;theprinciplewasadmittedbyall;andtheBillofDivorcewasgrantedtothecomplainingwife。
Itisimpossiblepreviouslytodefinealimitforunendurablewrong,thoughitbepossibletojudgeacasewhenheard。BytheScotchlaw,desertionisheldtobeasufficientcause;byseveralofthecountrieswhichfollowtheoldRomanlaw,causesofpersonaldisgustordislike;thismaybeerringonthecontraryside,andgivingtoogreatfacilityfordivorce;butonPage62
noprincipleofcommonsensecanitbefitthatthereshouldexistcasesofwronginwhichthelawcannotjudge,forthatsetsalimittothepossibilityofjustice。
Solongasahusbandisnotguiltyofincest,——awife,(accordingtoLordsCranworthandCampbell),hasnothingtocomplainofwhichshemightnot"condone。"YetGodknowsitseemsdifficulttoimaginewhatshadeoftorment,insult,orinjury,couldbeaddedtowhathasbeenenduredinmyowncase。Ihavelearnedthelawrespectingwomen,piece-meal,bysufferingfromeveryoneofitsdefectsofprotection。Imarriedveryyoung,andmymarriagewasanunhappyone。Myfamilyinterferedearnestlyandfrequentlyinmybehalf:andasforme,Iforgaveandresented——resentedandforgave——tillatlengthI
leftmyhusband"sformysister"shouse。Hewrotethen,adjuringmetopardonhim;beseechingme,byallthatwasholy,"nottocrushhim,"but"totrusttohim,"toreturn!Hesaidhe"knelttomeforpardon"!
Hewrotetomyfamilyintheextremestandmostexaggeratedtermsofsubmission。
HesaidhewasgladPage63
theyhadavengedmeandscornedhim,andhevowedtotreatmekindlyforthefuture。Tomylastinginjury,——(evennowIwillnotwrite,tomylastingregret),——I"condoned。"IknewIwasnotmyselffaultless;Iwasdeeplytouchedbyhisimploringphrases;andIreturnedtothehomeandthehusbandIhadabjured。Myfamily,however,didnotchoosetoresumetermsofintimacywithhim;andhequarrelledwithmeonthataccount。Iinsistedonmyrighttotakemychildrentomybrother"shouse,thoughmybrotherwouldnotreceivehim。ThosechildrenwerekidnappedwhileIwaswithmysister,andsentbymyhusbandtoawomanwhohassincelefthimmoney,andofwhomheknewIhadtheworstopinion。
Atthattimethelawwas,(andIthankGodIbelieveIwasgreatlyinstrumentalinchangingthatlaw),thatamanmighttakechildrenfromthemotheratanyage,andwithoutanyfaultoroffenceonherpart。Therehadbeenaninstanceinwhichthehusbandseizedandcarriedawayasucklinginfant,ashiswifesatenursingitinherownmother"shouse。Another,inwhichthehusbandbeinghimselfinprisonfordebt,gavehiswife"slegitimatechildtothewomanhecohabitedwith。Athird(inwhichthepartiesPage64
wereofhighrank),wherethehusbanddesertedhiswife;claimedthebabebornafterhisdesertion(havingalreadyhisotherchildren);
andlefthertolearnitsdeathfromthenewspapers!Afourth,inwhichthehusbandlivingwithamistress,andtravellingwithherunderhiswife"sname,thelatterappealedforaseparationtotheEcclesiasticalCourt;
andtheadulteroushusband,torevengehimself,claimedfromherhisthreeinfantgirls。Inallthesecases,andinallothercases,theclaimofthefatherwasheldtobeindisputable。Therewasnolawthentohelpthemother,asthereisnolawnowtohelpthewife。Theblamelessnessofthemothersignifiednothinginthosedays,astheblamelessnessofthewifesignifiesnothinginthispresentday。Thefatherpossessedpreciselytherightthehusbandstillpossesses——namely,todoexactlywhathepleased。
MrNorton,then,tookmylittlechildren(agedtwo,four,andsixyears);
andItracedthemtothehouseofthatvilewoman,whothreatenedtogiveme"tothepolice"whenIwentthereandclaimedthem。
Itwasnottillsixweeksafterthestealingofmychildren,——afteralong,angrycorrespondence——andafterhavingattemptedtoconditionthat"ifmyfamilywouldretractallthathadbeensaidPage65
againsthim,hewouldretractallhehadsaidagainstme"——thatMrNortontookhighergroundthanhisrealcauseofanger,——andappearedbeforetheworldinthecharacterof"aninjuredhusband。"HebroughtanactionagainstLordMelbourne;whowasinnowayconnectedwithourquarrel;
whohadbeenamostkindfriendtous;andwithwhom,thelasttimeIhadeverseenhiminmyhome,——myhusbandwasonthebestpossibleterms,endeavouringtoprocurefromhimaloanofmoney!Theinfamousopportunityaffordedtounscrupulousmen,intheEnglish"ActionforDamages"(whichLordStLeonard"shaslatelytermeda"disgracetothecountry"——"astigmaonthelawofEngland,"——"anactionwhichshocksone"ssenseofwhatisright")
wassuggestedasatemptationandabait。LordMelbournedeclaredthat,sofarasMrNortonwasconcerned,hebelievedtheactiontobebroughtentirelyasameansofobtainingmoney。And,astothepersonswhowereknowntohaveinstigatedtheproceedings,heconsidereditwasapoliticalplotonthepartofasmallsectionoftheTories,toruinhimasPrimeMinister。AndIknowthatinthisopinionyourMajesty"sUncle,KingWilliamIV。,entirelyconcurred。
Page66
LordMelbourneneverforamomentsupposedMrNortonwasreallyjealousofhim;butscornfullywrotetomethus,——ofmyhusband,——"YououghttoknowhimbetterthanIdo,andmustdoso。ButyouseemtometobehardlyawarewhataGNOMEheis。Inmyopinionhehassomehoworothermadethiswholemattersubservienttohispecuniaryinterest。"
IdonotknowwhatpecuniaryadvantageconsentingtobringthelosttrialobtainedforMrNorton:thoughifhehadwonit,certainlythe"damages"wouldhavebeenexcessive;LordMelbournebeingrepresentedbyMrNorton"scounsel,asaprofligateoldgrandee,whohadcomeintothishappyhome,toseducetheyouthfulandbelovedmotherofMrNorton"sthreeinfantchildren。Idonotknow,Isay,whatbasebargainmayhavebeenmadeaboutit,asLordMelbourneconjecturedtherewas;butthisIbelieve,thatbutfortheschemetooustLordMelbourneasaMinister,andthefeasibilityofanactionfor"damages,"thisquarrelwithmyhusbandmighthavebeenarranged——asotherdisputeshadbeen,equallybitter。
Atthetrial,itwasprovedthatthewitnessesforthe"injuredhusband"hadreceivedmoney,Page67
andhadactuallyresidedtillthetimeofthetrialatthecountry-seatofLordGrantley,MrNorton"selderbrother。Thejurylistenedwithincredulityanddisgusttotheevidence;andwithoutrequiringtohearasinglewitnessforLordMelbourne,orleavingthejury-box,theyinstantlygavetheirverdictagainstMrNorton:averdictwhichwasreceivedwithcheerswhichthejudgecouldnotsuppress:sovehementwastheexpressionofpubliccontemptandindignation。
MrDavidLeahythusdescribedthefeelingofthetime:——"Alltheworld——whatevertheirpoliticsmaybe,orwhatevertheiropinionsaboutthediscretionofthebehaviourofalloreitherofthethreeprincipalparties——mustacknowledgethatthethreeprincipalwitnesseswereperjuredandsuborned。Ihavespokenwithalmosteverypersonpresent,andthereexistsaperfectunanimityuponthispoint。"
Afterthetrialwasover,MrNortonnotifiedtomethatmyfamilymightsupportme,orthatImightwriteformybread;andthatmychildrenwerebylawathissoledisposal。
Andhere,again,MONEYwashisavowedmotive;forhefirstaffirmedthattheresidenceoftheseinfantswithmemightmakehimliableforthedebtsofmyhousehold;andthen,thatPage68
"others"onwhomhehimselfdepended,wouldnotpermithimtosendbackhischildren,asitwouldappeartojustifyme,andsoprovethetrialamockery。
Hisowncounsel,SirJohnBayley,gavethisaccountinapublishedletterlastyear:——"IfoundMrsNortonanxiousonlyononepoint,andnearlybroken-heartedaboutit;namely,therestorationofherchildren。Shetreatedherpecuniaryaffairsasamatterofperfectindifference,andleftmetoarrangethemwithMrNortonasIthoughtfit。Ifoundherhusband,onthecontrary,anxiousONLYaboutthepecuniaryarrangement,andsoobviouslymakingtheloveofthemotherforheroffspringameansofbarterandbargain,thatIwrotetohimIcouldbe"nopartytoanyarrangementwhichmadeMoneythepriceofMrsNorton"sfairandhonourableaccesstoherchildren。"Ifoundthetakingawayofthosechildrenhadbeentherealgroundofquarrel,andthatnotonlyMrNortonthrewtheblameofthesubsequenttrialonhisadvisors,anddeclaredthatthetrialwasbrought"againsthisjudgment,"
butthatoneofhisangriestgroundsofcomplaintagainsthiswifewas,thatshehadsaidshe"neverwouldreturntohim;"……Ifound,underMrNorton"sownhandwriting,Page69
confessionsofthegrossestpersonalviolencetowardshiswife……
MrNortonadmittedtomehisfirmbeliefofhiswife"sinnocenceofthechargehehadbroughtagainstherandLordMelbourne……Iconsiderthereneverwasamoredeeply-injuredwoman,andthathisconducttohercertainlyhadbeenmarkedby"thegrossestcruelty,injustice,andinconsistency,"
thateveranymandisplayed。"
Oneofmychildrenwasafterwardskilled,forwantofthecommonestcareamotherwouldhavegiventoherhousehold。MrNortonallowedthischildtolieillaweekbeforehesenttotellmehewasdying;and,whenIarrived,Ifoundthepoorlittlecreaturealreadyinhiscoffin。
Whenitwasnotacaseofdeath,Iwasnotallowedtohearatall。Once,whentheywereill,Iwrotetoasknewsofthem;andmyownletterwasrefoldedandsentbacktome。
Thathusband,whosepetitionforpardonhadtouchedmesoeasily,neverpitiedme。WhatIsufferedrespectingthosechildren,Godknows,andHeonly:whatIendured,andyetlivedpast,——ofpain,exasperation,helplessness,anddespair,undertheevillawwhichsufferedanyman,forvengeanceorforinterest,totakebabychildrenfromthemother,Ishallnoteventrytoexplain。Page70
Ibelievemenhavenomorenotionofwhatthatanguishis,thantheblindhaveofcolours;andIblessGodthatatleastminewasoneofthecaseswhichcalledattentiontothestateofthelawasitthenexisted。
AftertheactionagainstLordMelbourne(inwhich,accordingtothepreposterousEnglishcode,I
couldhavenopersonaldefence,noranymeansofshowinghowIhadbeentreatedasawife):IconsultedcounselwhetherIcouldnotnowdivorcemyhusband:whetheradivorce"byreasonofcruelty"mightnotbepleadedforme;andIlaidbeforemylawyersthemanyinstancesofviolence,injustice,andill-usage,ofwhichthetrialwasbutthecrowningexample。IwasthentoldthatnodivorceIcouldobtainwouldbreakmymarriage;thatIcouldnotpleadcrueltywhichIhadforgiven;
thatbyreturningtoMr。NortonIhad"condoned"allIcomplainedof。IwasanENGLISHWIFE,andformetherewasnopossibilityofredress。Theanswerwasalwaysthesame。TheLAW"HaveInoremedy?"——"NoremedyinLAW。TheLAWcandonothingforyou:yourcaseisoneofsingular,ofincrediblehardship;butthereisnopossiblewayinwhichtheLAWcouldassistyou。"ItriedtheEdinburghlawyers。
Iin-Page71
quirediftheycouldnotprovemymarriageaScotchone,allMrNorton"spropertybeinginScotland,hisfatheraScotchBaronofExchequer,andhismotherofaScotchfamily,——butwithoutsuccess。
Whenthewomandied,towhommychildrenhadbeensent,MrNortonproposedtometo"forgive"thepublictrial,andreturntohim(showinghowmuchhehadbelieveditsaccusations。)Ireceivedfromhimamostextraordinarynote,sayingthatheconsideredourdifferences"capableofadjustment,"andhopedIwouldmeethimalone,inanemptyhouse,No。1,Berkeley-street,wherehewouldwaitforme。Ireceivedthiscommunicationwithdoubtanddistrust。
Themeasuresadoptedtowardsme,intheefforttogetridofme,hadbeensostrange,thatIwasafraidtomeetmyhusband"alone,inanemptyhouse。"ButIagreed,onhispetition,tocometohisownhouse。Hethenbesoughtmeoncemore"toforgetthepast"andreturnhome。Helaidtheblameofallthathadhappened,onhisfriendsandadvisers;saidthetrialwasagainsthiswillandjudgment,andthathelonged"totakemetohisheartagain。"Hesentnotesalmostdailytomyhouse。Thoselettersbegan,"MyCarry,""MydearCarry,"Page72
andweresigned"Yoursaffectionately。"Twoofthem(inallusiontomyfearofmeetinghim)boretheplayfulsignatureof"GREENACRE,"——thenameofamanwhohadbeenrecentlyhung,forenticingawomantohishousebypromisingmarriage,andthenmurderingandcuttingherintopieces。
Thisplannedreconciliationdidnottakeplace。MrNorton"ssisterinformedhimthatIdidnotintend"honestly"toreturntohim。ThatisthatIdidnotintendtoremaininmyhome。ThatIwouldgobackforatriumph;formyreputationandmychildren;butnottostay。Renewedbitterdisputestookplace,andmychildrenweredeliveredovertohissister。
ItcostMrNortonnothing,toreverttothehypocriticalpretencehehadadoptedintheactionofdamages。He,whohadjustwrittenthosecoaxingletterssignedGreenacre,——whohadjustbeggedhiswifeto"meethiminanemptyhouse,"andtrytoarrangesoastooutwitthosewhohadbeenhis"advisers,"——leapednimblyupagaintothepedestalfromwhichhehaddescended,andresumedtheattitudeofan"injuredhusband。"Actually,thenextstepaftertheGREENACREletters,wastoadvertisemeintheEnglishnewspapers;MrNortonbeing,IPage73
believe,theonlymanofhisownrankinlifewhoeverresortedtothatmeasure。
WhenIsawthiswonderfulinsultgazettedbythehusbandwhohadjustbeenwooingmyreturn:——"Whereason30thMarch,1830,mywife,CarolineElizabethSarah,leftme,herfamily,andhome,andhathfromthenceforthcontinuedtoliveseparateandapartfromme,"&;c。,——IagaininquiredifIhad"noremedy?"None。Onlymybrother"ssolicitorsweredirectedtopublishacounteradvertisement,declaringthewholeofwhatMrNortonhadstatedwasfalse。
Afterwards,SirJohnBayley(MrNorton"sowncounsel)submittedhisletterstoLordWynford(whohadbeenMrNorton"sguardian)。LordWynfordexpressedhimselfinthestrongestandmostcontemptuoustermswithrespecttohisformerward;andfinally——fortheexpresspurposeofbeingshowntoMrNorton——hewrotethefollowingnote(theoriginalofwhichisinmypossession)——
"MyDearBayley,"Ihavebeenthinkingofthecorrespondenceyoureadtomethismorning。IamconvincedthatGeorgeNortoncanhavenodefencePage74
totheactions,andthathisdefendingthemwillbeattendedWITH
LOSSOFCHARACTER,aswellasgreatexpense。Heshouldagreetothearrangementthatyoupropose,oranyotherthatcanbemade。IwillwritetoGrantleytotellhimthatIhaveadvisedasettlementonANYterms。"
"Faithfullyyours,"WYNFORD。"
MrNortonhadgivenhispledgedwordinwriting,tohiscounselandreferee,toabidebyanydecisionhemightcometo。Hebrokehisword,refusedtoabidebyhiswrittenpledge,andactuallyhadtheeffronterytocomplainofhisletters"havingbeenshewn"!TowhichSirJohnBayleybluntlyreplied,thatifhewasdoingwhatwasrightandhonestbyme,"itwasastonishingheshouldsodreaditsbeingknown。"
Atlength,afterIhadremainedfortwoyearswithoutafarthingofsupportfrommyhusband;dependentonmyfamily;oneofmycreditorsbroughtanactionagainstMrNorton;
whooncemoreundertook——(beingtheaggressor)——topretendtobetheaggrieved。
OncemoreI,also,struggledtoprove,undertheblessedEnglishlaw,whatweretherealfactsofthecase。MyPage75
husbandhimselfhaspublished,thereasonofmynon-success。HereareMrNorton"sprintedwords:——"LordAbinger,whotriedthecause,uponasuggestionofmycounsel"(SirFitzroyKelly),"thatSirJohnBayleyhadbeenmyadvocateandreferee,REFUSEDTOHEARHISEVIDENCE。"