第4章
stationtoreporthisproceedings。Hecouldhavetakenherdirectly；buthisobjectwas，ifpossible，totraceoutthemanwhowassupposedtohavecommittedtherobbery。Thenheheardofthediscoveryofthebrooch；andconsequentlydidnotcaretoreturn。
Norahslepttilleventhesummereveningbegantoclosein。Thenup。Someonewasatthedoor。ItwouldbeMr。Frank；andshedizzilypushedbackherruffledgreyhair，whichhadfallenoverhereyes，andstoodlookingtoseehim。Instead，therecameinMr。
Openshawandapoliceman。
"ThisisNorahKennedy，"saidMr。Openshaw。
"O，sir，"saidNorah，"Ididnottouchthebrooch；indeedIdidnot。
O，sir，Icannotlivetobethoughtsobadlyof；"andverysickandfaint，shesuddenlysankdownontheground。Tohersurprise，Mr。
Openshawraisedherupverytenderly。Eventhepolicemanhelpedtolayheronthesofa；and，atMr。Openshaw"sdesire，hewentforsomewineandsandwiches；forthepoorgauntwomanlaytherealmostasifdeadwithwearinessandexhaustion。
"Norah!"saidMr。Openshaw，inhiskindestvoice，"thebroochisfound。ItwashangingtoMrs。Chadwick"sgown。Ibegyourpardon。
MosttrulyIbegyourpardon，forhavingtroubledyouaboutit。Mywifeisalmostbroken-hearted。Eat，Norah，——or，stay，firstdrinkthisglassofwine，"saidhe，liftingherhead，pouringalittledownherthroat。
Asshedrank，sherememberedwhereshewas，andwhoshewaswaitingfor。ShesuddenlypushedMr。Openshawaway，saying，"O，sir，youmustgo。Youmustnotstopaminute。Ifhecomesbackhewillkillyou。"
"Alas，Norah!Idonotknowwho"he"is。Butsomeoneisgoneawaywhowillnevercomeback:someonewhoknewyou，andwhomIamafraidyoucaredfor。"
"Idon"tunderstandyou，sir，"saidNorah，hermaster"skindandsorrowfulmannerbewilderingheryetmorethanhiswords。ThepolicemanhadlefttheroomatMr。Openshaw"sdesire，andtheytwowerealone。
"YouknowwhatImean，whenIsaysomeoneisgonewhowillnevercomeback。Imeanthatheisdead!"
"Who?"saidNorah，tremblingallover。
"ApoormanhasbeenfoundintheThamesthismorning，drowned。"
"Didhedrownhimself?"askedNorah，solemnly。
"Godonlyknows，"repliedMr。Openshaw，inthesametone。"Yournameandaddressatourhouse，werefoundinhispocket:that，andhispurse，weretheonlythings，thatwerefounduponhim。Iamsorrytosayit，mypoorNorah；butyouarerequiredtogoandidentifyhim。"
"Towhat?"askedNorah。
"Tosaywhoitis。Itisalwaysdone，inorderthatsomereasonmaybediscoveredforthesuicide——ifsuicideitwas。Imakenodoubthewasthemanwhocametoseeyouatourhouselastnight。Itisverysad，Iknow。"Hemadepausesbetweeneachlittleclause，inordertotryandbringbackhersenses；whichhefearedwerewandering——sowildandsadwasherlook。
"MasterOpenshaw，"saidshe，atlast，"I"veadreadfulsecrettotellyou——onlyyoumustneverbreatheittoanyone，andyouandI
musthideitawayforever。Ithoughttohavedoneitallbymyself，butIseeIcannot。Yonpoorman——yes!thedead，drownedcreatureis，Ifear，Mr。Frank，mymistress"sfirsthusband!"
Mr。Openshawsatedown，asifshot。Hedidnotspeak；but，afterawhile，hesignedtoNorahtogoon。
"Hecametometheothernight——when——Godbethanked——youwereallawayatRichmond。Heaskedmeifhiswifewasdeadoralive。Iwasabrute，andthoughtmoreofourallcominghomethanofhissoretrial:spokeoutsharp，andsaidshewasmarriedagain，andverycontentandhappy:Iallbutturnedhimaway:andnowheliesdeadandcold!"
"Godforgiveme!"saidMr。Openshaw。
"Godforgiveusall!"saidNorah。"Yonpoormanneedsforgivenessperhapslessthananyoneamongus。Hehadbeenamongthesavages——
shipwrecked——Iknownotwhat——andhehadwrittenletterswhichhadneverreachedmypoormissus。"
"Hesawhischild!"
"Hesawher——yes!Itookhimup，togivehisthoughtsanotherstart；forIbelievedhewasgoingmadonmyhands。Icametoseekhimhere，asImorethanhalfpromised。MymindmisgavemewhenI
heardhehadnevercomein。O，sirIitmustbehim!"
Mr。Openshawrangthebell。Norahwasalmosttoomuchstunnedtowonderatwhathedid。Heaskedforwritingmaterials，wrotealetter，andthensaidtoNorah:
"IamwritingtoAlice，tosayIshallbeunavoidablyabsentforafewdays；thatIhavefoundyou；thatyouarewell，andsendheryourlove，andwillcomehometo-morrow。YoumustgowithmetothePoliceCourt；youmustidentifythebody:Iwillpayhightokeepname；anddetailsoutofthepapers。
"Butwhereareyougoing，sir?"
Hedidnotanswerherdirectly。Thenhesaid:
"Norah!Imustgowithyou，andlookonthefaceofthemanwhomI
havesoinjured，——unwittingly，itistrue；butitseemstomeasifIhadkilledhim。Iwilllayhisheadinthegrave，asifheweremyonlybrother:andhowhemusthavehatedme!IcannotgohometomywifetillallthatIcandoforhimisdone。ThenIgowithadreadfulsecretonmymind。Ishallneverspeakofitagain，afterthesedaysareover。Iknowyouwillnot，either。"Heshookhandswithher:andtheynevernamedthesubjectagain，theonetotheother。
NorahwenthometoAlicethenextday。Notawordwassaidonthecauseofherabruptdepartureadayortwobefore。Alicehadbeenchargedbyherhusbandinhisletternottoalludetothesupposedtheftofthebrooch；soshe，implicitlyobedienttothosewhomshelovedbothbynatureandhabit，wasentirelysilentonthesubject，onlytreatedNorahwiththemosttenderrespect，asiftomakeupforunjustsuspicion。
NordidAliceinquireintothereasonwhyMr。Openshawhadbeenabsentduringhisuncleandaunt"svisit，afterhehadoncesaidthatitwasunavoidable。Hecameback，graveandquiet；and，fromthattimeforth，wascuriouslychanged。Morethoughtful，andperhapslessactive；quiteasdecidedinconduct，butwithnewanddifferentrulesfortheguidanceofthatconduct。TowardsAlicehecouldhardlybemorekindthanhehadalwaysbeen；buthenowseemedtolookuponherassomeonesacredandtobetreatedwithreverence，aswellastenderness。Hethroveinbusiness，andmadealargefortune，onehalfofwhichwassettleduponher。
Longyearsaftertheseevents，——afewmonthsafterhermotherdied，Ailsieandher"father"(asshealwayscalledMr。Openshaw)drovetoacemeteryalittlewayoutoftown，andshewascarriedtoacertainmoundbyhermaid，whowasthensentbacktothecarriage。
Therewasahead-stone，withF。W。andadate。Thatwasall。
Sittingbythegrave，Mr。Openshawtoldherthestory；andforthesadfateofthatpoorfatherwhomshehadneverseen，heshedtheonlytearssheeversawfallfromhiseyes。
***
"Amostinterestingstory，allthrough，"Isaid，asJarberfoldedupthefirstofhisseriesofdiscoveriesintriumph。"Astorythatgoesstraighttotheheart——especiallyattheend。But"——Istopped，andlookedatTrottle。
Trottleenteredhisprotestdirectlyintheshapeofacough。
"Well!"Isaid，beginningtolosemypatience。"Don"tyouseethatIwantyoutospeak，andthatIdon"twantyoutocough?"
"Quiteso，ma"am，"saidTrottle，inastateofrespectfulobstinacywhichwouldhaveupsetthetemperofasaint。"Relative，Ipresume，tothisstory，ma"am?"
"Yes，Yes!"saidJarber。"Byallmeansletushearwhatthisgoodmanhastosay。"
"Well，sir，"answeredTrottle，"IwanttoknowwhytheHouseoverthewaydoesn"tlet，andIdon"texactlyseehowyourstoryanswersthequestion。That"sallIhavetosay，sir。"
Ishouldhavelikedtocontradictmyopinionatedservant，atthatmoment。But，excellentasthestorywasinitself，Ifeltthathehadhitontheweakpoint，sofarasJarber"sparticularpurposeinreadingitwasconcerned。
"Andthatiswhatyouhavetosay，isit?"repeatedJarber。"I
enterthisroomannouncingthatIhaveaseriesofdiscoveries，andyoujumpinstantlytotheconclusionthatthefirstoftheseriesexhaustsmyresources。HaveIyourpermission，dearlady，toenlightenthisobtuseperson，ifpossible，byreadingNumberTwo?"
"Myworkisbehindhand，ma"am，"saidTrottle，movingtothedoor，themomentIgaveJarberleavetogoon。
"Stopwhereyouare，"Isaid，inmymostperemptorymanner，"andgiveMr。Jarberhisfairopportunityofansweringyourobjectionnowyouhavemadeit。
Trottlesatdownwiththelookofamartyr，andJarberbegantoreadwithhisbackturnedontheenemymoredecidedlythanever。
GOINGINTOSOCIETY
Atoneperiodofitsreverses，theHousefellintotheoccupationofaShowman。Hewasfoundregisteredasitsoccupier，ontheparishbooksofthetimewhenherentedtheHouse，andtherewasthereforenoneedofanycluetohisname。But，hehimselfwaslesseasytobefound；for，hehadledawanderinglife，andsettledpeoplehadlostsightofhim，andpeoplewhoplumedthemselvesonbeingrespectablewereshyofadmittingthattheyhadeverknownanythingofhim。Atlast，amongthemarshlandsneartheriver"slevel，thatlieaboutDeptfordandtheneighbouringmarket-gardens，aGrizzledPersonageinvelveteen，withafacesocutupbyvarietiesofweatherthathelookedasifhehadbeentattooed，wasfoundsmokingapipeatthedoorofawoodenhouseonwheels。Thewoodenhousewaslaidupinordinaryforthewinter，nearthemouthofamuddycreek；andeverythingnearit，thefoggyriver，themistymarshes，andthesteamingmarket-gardens，smokedincompanywiththegrizzledman。Inthemidstofthissmokingparty，thefunnel-chimneyofthewoodenhouseonwheelswasnotremiss，buttookitspipewiththerestinacompanionablemanner。
OnbeingaskedifitwerehewhohadoncerentedtheHousetoLet，GrizzledVelveteenlookedsurprised，andsaidyes。ThenhisnamewasMagsman?Thatwasit，TobyMagsman——whichlawfullychristenedRobert；butcalledintheline，fromainfant，Toby。TherewasnothingaginTobyMagsman，hebelieved?Iftherewassuspicionofsuch——mentionit!
Therewasnosuspicionofsuch，hemightrestassured。But，someinquiriesweremakingaboutthatHouse，andwouldheobjecttosaywhyheleftit?
Notatall；whyshouldhe?Heleftit，alongofaDwarf。
AlongofaDwarf?
Mr。Magsmanrepeated，deliberatelyandemphatically，AlongofaDwarf。
MightitbecompatiblewithMr。Magsman"sinclinationandconveniencetoenter，asafavour，intoafewparticulars?
Mr。Magsmanenteredintothefollowingparticulars。
Itwasalongtimeago，tobeginwith；——aforelotteriesandadealmorewasdoneawaywith。Mr。Magsmanwaslookingaboutforagoodpitch，andheseethathouse，andhesaystohimself，"I"llhaveyou，ifyou"retobehad。Ifmoney"llgetyou，I"llhaveyou。"
Theneighbourscutuprough，andmadecomplaints；butMr。Magsmandon"tknowwhattheyWOULDhavehad。Itwasalovelything。Firstofall，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheGiant，inSpanishtrunksandaruff，whowashimselfhalftheheighthofthehouse，andwasrunupwithalineandpulleytoapoleontheroof，sothathisEdwascoevalwiththeparapet。Then，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheAlbinalady，showingherwhiteairtotheArmyandNavyincorrectuniform。Then，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheWildIndianascalpinamemberofsomeforeignnation。Then，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicterofachildofaBritishPlanter，seizedbytwoBoaConstrictors——notthatWEneverhadnochild，nornoConstrictorsneither。Similarly，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheWildAssofthePrairies——notthatWEneverhadnowildasses，norwouldn"thavehad"ematagift。Last，therewasthecanvass，representinthepicteroftheDwarf，andlikehimtoo(considerin)，withGeorgetheFourthinsuchastateofastonishmentathimasHisMajestycouldn"twithhisutmostpolitenessandstoutnessexpress。ThefrontoftheHousewassocoveredwithcanvasses，thattherewasn"tasparkofdaylightevervisibleonthatside。"MAGSMAN"SAMUSEMENTS，"fifteenfootlongbytwofoothigh，ranoverthefrontdoorandparlourwinders。ThepassagewasaArbourofgreenbaizeandgardenstuff。Abarrel-organperformedthereunceasing。Andastorespectability，——ifthreepenceain"trespectable，whatis?
But，theDwarfistheprincipalarticleatpresent，andhewasworththemoney。HewaswroteupasMAJORTPSCHOFFKI，OFTHEIMPERIAL
BULGRADERIANBRIGADE。Nobodycouldn"tpronouncethename，anditneverwasintendedanybodyshould。Thepublicalwaysturnedit，asaregularrule，intoChopski。InthelinehewascalledChops；
partlyonthataccount，andpartlybecausehisrealname，ifheeverhadanyrealname(whichwasverydubious)，wasStakes。
Hewasaun-commonsmallman，hereallywas。Certainlynotsosmallashewasmadeouttobe，butwhereISyourDwarfasis?Hewasamostuncommonsmallman，withamostuncommonlargeEd；andwhathehadinsidethatEd，nobodyeverknowedbuthimself:evensupposinhimselftohaveevertookstockofit，whichitwouldhavebeenastiffjobforevenhimtodo。
Thekindestlittlemanasnevergrowed!Spirited，butnotproud。
WhenhetravelledwiththeSpottedBaby——thoughheknowedhimselftobeanat"ralDwarf，andknowedtheBaby"sspotstobeputuponhimartificial，henursedthatBabylikeamother。Youneverheerdhimgiveaill-nametoaGiant。HeDIDallowhimselftobreakoutintostronglanguagerespectintheFatLadyfromNorfolk；butthatwasanaffairofthe"art；andwhenaman"s"arthasbeentrifledwithbyalady，andthepreferencegivtoaIndian，heain"tmasterofhisactions。
Hewasalwaysinlove，ofcourse；everyhumannat"ralphenomenonis。
Andhewasalwaysinlovewithalargewoman；IneverknowedtheDwarfascouldbegottoloveasmallone。Whichhelpstokeep"emtheCuriositiestheyare。
Onesing"lerideahehadinthatEdofhis，whichmusthavemeantsomething，oritwouldn"thavebeenthere。Itwasalwayshisopinionthathewasentitledtoproperty。Heneverwouldputhisnametoanything。Hehadbeentaughttowrite，bytheyoungmanwithoutarms，whogothislivingwithhistoes(quiteawritingmasterHEwas，andtaughtscoresintheline)，butChopswouldhavestarvedtodeath，aforehe"dhavegainedabitofbreadbyputtinghishandtoapaper。Thisisthemorecurioustobearinmind，becauseHEhadnoproperty，norhopeofproperty，excepthishouseandasarser。WhenIsayhishouse，Imeanthebox，paintedandgotupoutsidelikeareg"larsix-roomer，thatheusedtocreepinto，withadiamondring(orquiteasgoodtolookat)onhisforefinger，andringalittlebelloutofwhatthePublicbelievedtobetheDrawing-roomwinder。AndwhenIsayasarser，ImeanaChaneysarserinwhichhemadeacollectionforhimselfattheendofeveryEntertainment。Hiscueforthat，hetookfromme:"Ladiesandgentlemen，thelittlemanwillnowwalkthreetimesroundtheCairawan，andretirebehindthecurtain。"Whenhesaidanythingimportant，inprivatelife，hemostlywounditupwiththisformofwords，andtheywasgenerallythelastthinghesaidtomeatnightaforehewenttobed。
HehadwhatIconsiderafinemind——apoeticmind。Hisideasrespectinhispropertynevercomeuponhimsostrongaswhenhesatuponabarrel-organandhadthehandleturned。Arterthewibrationhadrunthroughhimalittletime，hewouldscreechout，"Toby，I
feelmypropertycoming——grindaway!I"mcountingmyguineasbythousands，Toby——grindaway!Toby，Ishallbeamanoffortun!I
feeltheMintajinglinginme，Toby，andI"mswellingoutintotheBankofEngland!"Suchistheinfluenceofmusiconapoeticmind。
Notthathewaspartialtoanyothermusicbutabarrel-organ；onthecontrary，hatedit。
HehadakindofaeverlastinggrudgeaginthePublic:whichisathingyoumaynoticeinmanyphenomenonsthatgettheirlivingoutofit。Whatriledhimmostinthenaterofhisoccupationwas，thatitkephimoutofSociety。Hewascontiniwallysaying，"Toby，myambitionis，togointoSociety。ThecurseofmypositiontowardsthePublicis，thatitkeepsmehoutofSociety。Thisdon"tsignifytoalowbeastofaIndian；hean"tformedforSociety。Thisdon"tsignifytoaSpottedBaby；HEan"tformedforSociety——Iam。"
NobodynevercouldmakeoutwhatChopsdonewithhismoney。Hehadagoodsalary，downonthedrumeverySaturdayasthedaycameround，besideshavingtherunofhisteeth——andhewasaWoodpeckertoeat——butallDwarfsare。Thesarserwasalittleincome，bringinghiminsomanyhalfpencethathe"dcarry"emforaweektogether，tiedupinapocket-handkercher。Andyetheneverhadmoney。Anditcouldn"tbetheFatLadyfromNorfolk，aswasoncesupposed；becauseitstandstoreasonthatwhenyouhaveaanimositytowardsaIndian，whichmakesyougrindyourteethathimtohisface，andwhichcanhardlyholdyoufromGoosinghimaudiblewhenhe"sgoingthroughhisWar-Dance——itstandstoreasonyouwouldn"tunderthemcircumstancesdepriveyourself，tosupportthatIndianinthelapofluxury。
Mostunexpected，themysterycomeoutonedayatEghamRaces。ThePublicwasshyofbeinpulledin，andChopswasringinhislittlebelloutofhisdrawing-roomwinder，andwassnarlintomeoverhisshoulderashekneeleddownwithhislegsoutattheback-door——forhecouldn"tbeshovedintohishousewithoutkneelingdown，andthepremiseswouldn"taccommodatehislegs——wassnarlin，"Here"sapreciousPublicforyou；whytheDevildon"ttheytumbleup?"whenamaninthecrowdholdsupacarrier-pigeon，andcriesout，"Ifthere"sanypersonhereashasgotaticket，theLottery"sjustdrawed，andthenumberashascomeupforthegreatprizeisthree，seven，forty-two!Three，seven，forty-two!"IwasgivinthemantotheFuriesmyself，forcallingoffthePublic"sattention——forthePublicwillturnaway，atanytime，tolookatanythinginpreferencetothethingshowed"em；andifyoudoubtit，get"emtogetherforanyindiwidualpurposeonthefaceoftheearth，andsendonlytwopeopleinlate，andseeifthewholecompanyan"tfarmoreinterestedintakinparticularnoticeofthemtwothanofyou——
Isay，Iwasn"tbestpleasedwiththemanforcallinout，andwasn"tblessinhiminmyownmind，whenIseeChops"slittlebellflyoutofwinderataoldlady，andhegetsupandkickshisboxover，exposinthewholesecret，andhecatchesholdofthecalvesofmylegsandhesaystome，"Carrymeintothewan，Toby，andthrowapailofwaterovermeorI"madeadman，forI"vecomeintomyproperty!"
Twelvethousandoddhundredpound，wasChops"swinnins。Hehadboughtahalf-ticketforthetwenty-fivethousandprize，andithadcomeup。Thefirstusehemadeofhisproperty，was，tooffertofighttheWildIndianforfivehundredpoundaside，himwithapoisoneddarnin-needleandtheIndianwithaclub；buttheIndianbeinginwantofbackerstothatamount，itwentnofurther。
Arterhehadbeenmadforaweek——inastateofmind，inshort，inwhich，ifIhadlethimsitontheorganforonlytwominutes，I
believehewouldhavebust——butwekeptheorganfromhim——Mr。Chopscomeround，andbehavedliberalandbeautifultoall。Hethensentforayoungmanheknowed，ashadawerygenteelappearanceandwasaBonnetatagaming-booth(mostrespectablebroughtup，fatherhavinbeenimminentintheliverystablelinebutunfort"nateinacommercialcrisis，throughpaintinaoldgray，ginger-bay，andsellinhimwithaPedigree)，andMr。ChopssaidtothisBonnet，whosaidhisnamewasNormandy，whichitwasn"t:
"Normandy，I"magoinintoSociety。Willyougowithme?"
SaysNormandy:"DoIunderstandyou，Mr。Chops，tohintimatethatthe"oleoftheexpensesofthatmovewillbebornebyyourself?"
"Correct，"saysMr。Chops。"AndyoushallhaveaPrincelyallowancetoo。"
TheBonnetliftedMr。Chopsuponachair，toshakehandswithhim，andrepliedinpoetry，withhiseyesseeminglyfulloftears:
"Myboatisontheshore，Andmybarkisonthesea，AndIdonotaskformore，ButI"llGo:-alongwiththee。"
TheywentintoSociety，inachayandfourgrayswithsilkjackets。
TheytooklodgingsinPallMall，London，andtheyblazedaway。
InconsequenceofanotethatwasbroughttoBartlemyFairintheautumnofnextyearbyaservant，mostwonderfulgotupinmilk-
whitecordsandtops，IcleanedmyselfandwenttoPallMall，oneeveningappinted。Thegentlemenwasattheirwinearterdinner，andMr。Chops"seyeswasmorefixedinthatEdofhisthanIthoughtgoodforhim。Therewasthreeof"em(incompany，Imean)，andI
knowedthethirdwell。Whenlastmet，hehadonawhiteRomanshirt，andabishop"smitrecoveredwithleopard-skin，andplayedtheclarionetallwrong，inabandataWildBeastShow。
Thisgenttookonnottoknowme，andMr。Chopssaid:"Gentlemen，thisisaoldfriendofformerdays:"andNormandylookedatmethroughaeye-glass，andsaid，"Magsman，gladtoseeyou!"——whichI"lltakemyoathhewasn"t。Mr。Chops，togithimconvenienttothetable，hadhischaironathrone(muchoftheformofGeorgetheFourth"sinthecanvass)，buthehardlyappearedtometobeKingthereinanyotherpintofview，forhistwogentlemenorderedaboutlikeEmperors。TheywasalldressedlikeMay-Day——gorgeous!——AndastoWine，theyswaminallsorts。
Imadetheroundofthebottles，firstseparate(tosayIhaddoneit)，andthenmixed"emalltogether(tosayIhaddoneit)，andthentriedtwoof"emashalf-and-half，andthent"othertwo。
Altogether，Ipassedapleasinevenin，butwithatendencytofeelmuddled，untilIconsidereditgoodmannerstogetupandsay，"Mr。
Chops，thebestoffriendsmustpart，Ithankyouforthewarietyofforeigndrainsyouhavestoodso"ansome，Ilookstowardsyouinredwine，andItakesmyleave。"Mr。Chopsreplied，"Ifyou"lljusthitchmeoutofthisoveryourrightarm，Magsman，andcarrymedown-stairs，I"llseeyouout。"IsaidIcouldn"tthinkofsuchathing，buthewouldhaveit，soIliftedhimoffhisthrone。HesmeltstrongofMaideary，andIcouldn"thelpthinkingasIcarriedhimdownthatitwaslikecarryingalargebottlefullofwine，witharaytheruglystopper，agooddealoutofproportion。
WhenIsethimonthedoor-matinthehall，hekepmeclosetohimbyholdingontomycoat-collar，andhewhispers:
"Iain"t"appy，Magsman。"
"What"sonyourmind，Mr。Chops?"
"Theydon"tusemewell。Theyan"tgratefultome。Theyputsmeonthemantel-piecewhenIwon"thaveinmoreChampagne-wine，andtheylocksmeinthesideboardwhenIwon"tgiveupmyproperty。"
"Getridof"em，Mr。Chops。"
"Ican"t。We"reinSocietytogether，andwhatwouldSocietysay?"
"ComeoutofSociety!"saysI。
"Ican"t。Youdon"tknowwhatyou"retalkingabout。WhenyouhaveoncegoneintoSociety，youmustn"tcomeoutofit。"
"Thenifyou"llexcusethefreedom，Mr。Chops，"weremyremark，shakingmyheadgrave，"Ithinkit"sapityyoueverwentin。"
Mr。ChopsshookthatdeepEdofhis，toasurprisinextent，andslappedithalfadozentimeswithhishand，andwithmoreWicethanIthoughtwereinhim。Then，hesays，"You"reagoodfellow，butyoudon"tunderstand。Good-night，goalong。Magsman，thelittlemanwillnowwalkthreetimesroundtheCairawan，andretirebehindthecurtain。"ThelastIseeofhimonthatoccasionwashistryin，ontheextremestwergeofinsensibility，toclimbupthestairs，onebyone，withhishandsandknees。They"dhavebeenmuchtoosteepforhim，ifhehadbeensober；buthewouldn"tbehelped。
Itwarn"tlongafterthat，thatIreadinthenewspaperofMr。
Chops"sbeingpresentedatcourt。Itwasprinted，"Itwillberecollected"——andI"venoticedinmylife，thatitissuretobeprintedthatitWILLberecollected，wheneveritwon"t——"thatMr。
Chopsistheindividualofsmallstature，whosebrilliantsuccessinthelastStateLotteryattractedsomuchattention。"Well，Isaystomyself，SuchisLife!Hehasbeenanddoneitinearnestatlast。HehasastonishedGeorgetheFourth!
(Onaccountofwhich，Ihadthatcanvassnew-painted，himwithabagofmoneyinhishand，apresentinittoGeorgetheFourth，andaladyinOstrichFeathersfallininlovewithhiminabag-wig，sword，andbucklescorrect。)
ItooktheHouseasisthesubjectofpresentinquiries——thoughnotthehonourofbeinacquainted——andIrunMagsman"sAmusementsinitthirteenmonths——sometimesonething，sometimesanother，sometimesnothinparticular，butalwaysallthecanvassesoutside。Onenight，whenwehadplayedthelastcompanyout，whichwasashycompany，throughitsrainingHeavenshard，Iwastakinapipeintheonepairbackalongwiththeyoungmanwiththetoes，whichIhadtakenonforamonth(thoughheneverdrawed——exceptonpaper)，andIheardakickinatthestreetdoor。"Halloa!"Isaystotheyoungman，"what"sup!"Herubshiseyebrowswithhistoes，andhesays，"I
can"timagine，Mr。Magsman"——whichhenevercouldimaginenothin，andwasmonotonouscompany。
Thenoisenotleavinoff，Ilaiddownmypipe，andItookupacandle，andIwentdownandopenedthedoor。Ilookedoutintothestreet；butnothincouldIsee，andnothinwasIawareof，untilI
turnedroundquick，becausesomecreeturrunbetweenmylegsintothepassage。TherewasMr。Chops!
"Magsman，"hesays，"takeme，ontheoldterms，andyou"vegotme；
ifit"sdone，saydone!"
Iwasallofamaze，butIsaid，"Done，sir。"
"Donetoyourdone，anddoubledone!"sayshe。"Haveyougotabitofsupperinthehouse?"
Bearininmindthemsparklinwarietiesofforeigndrainsaswe"dguzzledawayatinPallMall，Iwasashamedtoofferhimcoldsassagesandgin-and-water；buthetook"embothandtook"emfree；
havinachairforhistable，andsittindownatitonastool，likeholdtimes。I，allofamazeallthewhile。
Itwasarterhehadmadeacleansweepofthesassages(beef，andtothebestofmycalculationstwopoundandaquarter)，thatthewisdomaswasinthatlittlemanbegantocomeoutofhimlikeprespiration。
"Magsman，"hesays，"lookuponme!Youseeaforeyou，OneashasbothgoneintoSocietyandcomeout。"
"O!YouAREoutofit，Mr。Chops?Howdidyougetout，sir?"
"SOLDOUT!"sayshe。YouneversawthelikeofthewisdomashisEdexpressed，whenhemadeuseofthemtwowords。
"MyfriendMagsman，I"llimparttoyouadiscoveryI"vemade。It"swallable；it"scosttwelvethousandfivehundredpound；itmaydoyougoodinlife——Thesecretofthismatteris，thatitain"tsomuchthatapersongoesintoSociety，asthatSocietygoesintoaperson。"
Notexactlykeepinupwithhismeanin，Ishookmyhead，putonadeeplook，andsaid，"You"rerightthere，Mr。Chops。"
"Magsman，"hesays，twitchinmebytheleg，"Societyhasgoneintome，tothetuneofeverypennyofmyproperty。"