第1章

Itwasasoft,reposefulsummerlandscape,aslovelyasadream,andaslonesomeasSunday.Theairwasfullofthesmellofflowers,andthebuzzingofinsects,andthetwitteringofbirds,andtherewerenopeople,nowagons,therewasnostiroflife,nothinggoingon.Theroadwasmainlyawindingpathwithhoof-printsinit,andnowandthenafainttraceofwheelsoneithersideinthegrass——wheelsthatapparentlyhadatireasbroadasone"shand.

Presentlyafairslipofagirl,abouttenyearsold,withacataractofgoldenhairstreamingdownoverhershoulders,camealong.Aroundherheadsheworeahoopofflame-redpoppies.ItwasassweetanoutfitaseverIsaw,whattherewasofit.Shewalkedindolentlyalong,withamindatrest,itspeacereflectedinherinnocentface.Thecircusmanpaidnoattentiontoher;didn"tevenseemtoseeher.Andshe——shewasnomorestartledathisfantasticmake-upthanifshewasusedtohislikeeverydayofherlife.Shewasgoingbyasindifferentlyasshemighthavegonebyacoupleofcows;butwhenshehappenedtonoticeme,THENtherewasachange!Upwentherhands,andshewasturnedtostone;hermouthdroppedopen,hereyesstaredwideandtimorously,shewasthepictureofastonishedcuriositytouchedwithfear.Andthereshestoodgazing,inasortofstupefiedfascination,tillweturnedacornerofthewoodandwerelosttoherview.Thatsheshouldbestartledatmeinsteadofattheotherman,wastoomanyforme;Icouldn"tmakeheadortailofit.Andthatsheshouldseemtoconsidermeaspectacle,andtotallyoverlookherownmeritsinthatrespect,wasanotherpuzzlingthing,andadisplayofmagnanimity,too,thatwassurprisinginonesoyoung.Therewasfoodforthoughthere.Imovedalongasoneinadream.

Asweapproachedthetown,signsoflifebegantoappear.Atintervalswepassedawretchedcabin,withathatchedroof,andaboutitsmallfieldsandgardenpatchesinanindifferentstateofcultivation.Therewerepeople,too;brawnymen,withlong,coarse,uncombedhairthathungdownovertheirfacesandmadethemlooklikeanimals.Theyandthewomen,asarule,woreacoarsetow-linenrobethatcamewellbelowtheknee,andarudesortofsandal,andmanyworeanironcollar.Thesmallboysandgirlswerealwaysnaked;butnobodyseemedtoknowit.Allofthesepeoplestaredatme,talkedaboutme,ranintothehutsandfetchedouttheirfamiliestogapeatme;butnobodyevernoticedthatotherfellow,excepttomakehimhumblesalutationandgetnoresponsefortheirpains.

Inthetownweresomesubstantialwindowlesshousesofstonescatteredamongawildernessofthatchedcabins;thestreetsweremerecrookedalleys,andunpaved;troopsofdogsandnudechildrenplayedinthesunandmadelifeandnoise;hogsroamedandrootedcontentedlyabout,andoneofthemlayinareekingwallowinthemiddleofthemainthoroughfareandsuckledherfamily.Presentlytherewasadistantblareofmilitarymusic;itcamenearer,stillnearer,andsoonanoblecavalcadewoundintoview,gloriouswithplumedhelmetsandflashingmailandflauntingbannersandrichdoubletsandhorse-clothsandgildedspearheads;andthroughthemuckandswine,andnakedbrats,andjoyousdogs,andshabbyhuts,ittookitsgallantway,andinitswakewefollowed.

Followedthroughonewindingalleyandthenanother,——andclimbing,alwaysclimbing——tillatlastwegainedthebreezyheightwherethehugecastlestood.Therewasanexchangeofbugleblasts;thenaparleyfromthewalls,wheremen-at-arms,inhauberkandmorion,marchedbackandforthwithhalberdatshoulderunderflappingbannerswiththerudefigureofadragondisplayeduponthem;andthenthegreatgateswereflungopen,thedrawbridgewaslowered,andtheheadofthecavalcadesweptforwardunderthefrowningarches;andwe,following,soonfoundourselvesinagreatpavedcourt,withtowersandturretsstretchingupintotheblueaironallthefoursides;andallaboutus.thedismountwasgoingon,andmuchgreetingandceremony,andrunningtoandfro,andagaydisplayofmovingandinterminglingcolors,andanaltogetherpleasantstirandnoiseandconfusion.

AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur"sCourt-Chapter2Chapter2-KingArthur"sCourtTHEmomentIgotachanceIslippedasideprivatelyandtouchedanancientcommonlookingmanontheshoulderandsaid,inaninsinuating,confidentialway:

"Friend,domeakindness.Doyoubelongtotheasylum,orareyoujustonavisitorsomethinglikethat?"

Helookedmeoverstupidly,andsaid:

"Marry,fairsir,meseemeth——"

"Thatwilldo,"Isaid;"Ireckonyouareapatient."

Imovedaway,cogitating,andatthesametimekeepinganeyeoutforanychancepassengerinhisrightmindthatmightcomealongandgivemesomelight.IjudgedIhadfoundone,presently;soIdrewhimasideandsaidinhisear:

"IfIcouldseetheheadkeeperaminute——onlyjustaminute——"

"Pritheedonotletme."

"LetyouWHAT?"

"HINDERme,then,ifthewordpleasetheebetter.Thenhewentontosayhewasanunder-cookandcouldnotstoptogossip,thoughhewouldlikeitanothertime;foritwouldcomforthisverylivertoknowwhereIgotmyclothes.Ashestartedawayhepointedandsaidyonderwasonewhowasidleenoughformypurpose,andwasseekingmebesides,nodoubt.

Thiswasanairyslimboyinshrimp-coloredtightsthatmadehimlooklikeaforkedcarrot,therestofhisgearwasbluesilkanddaintylacesandruffles;andhehadlongyellowcurls,andworeaplumedpinksatincaptiltedcomplacentlyoverhisear.Byhislook,hewasgood-natured;byhisgait,hewassatisfiedwithhimself.Hewasprettyenoughtoframe.

Hearrived,lookedmeoverwithasmilingandimpudentcuriosity;saidhehadcomeforme,andinformedmethathewasapage.

"Go"long,"Isaid;"youain"tmorethanaparagraph."

Itwasprettysevere,butIwasnettled.However,itneverphazedhim;

hedidn"tappeartoknowhewashurt.Hebegantotalkandlaugh,inhappy,thoughtless,boyishfashion,aswewalkedalong,andmadehimselfoldfriendswithmeatonce;askedmeallsortsofquestionsaboutmyselfandaboutmyclothes,butneverwaitedforananswer——alwayschatteredstraightahead,asifhedidn"tknowhehadaskedaquestionandwasn"texpectinganyreply,untilatlasthehappenedtomentionthathewasborninthebeginningoftheyear513.

Itmadethecoldchillscreepoverme!Istoppedandsaid,alittlefaintly:

"MaybeIdidn"thearyoujustright.Sayitagain——andsayitslow.

Whatyearwasit?"

"513."

"513!Youdon"tlookit!Come,myboy,Iamastrangerandfriendless;

behonestandhonorablewithme.Areyouinyourrightmind?"

Hesaidhewas.

"Aretheseotherpeopleintheirrightminds?"

Hesaidtheywere.

"Andthisisn"tanasylum?Imean,itisn"taplacewheretheycurecrazypeople?"

Hesaiditwasn"t.

"Well,then,"Isaid,"eitherIamalunatic,orsomethingjustasawfulhashappened.Nowtellme,honestandtrue,whereamI?"

"INKINGARTHUR"SCOURT."

Iwaitedaminute,toletthatideashudderitswayhome,andthensaid:

"Andaccordingtoyournotions,whatyearisitnow?"

"528——nineteenthofJune."

Ifeltamournfulsinkingattheheart,andmuttered:"Ishallneverseemyfriendsagain——never,neveragain.Theywillnotbebornformorethanthirteenhundredyearsyet."

Iseemedtobelievetheboy,Ididn"tknowwhy.SOMETHINGinmeseemedtobelievehim——myconsciousness,asyoumaysay;butmyreasondidn"t.

Myreasonstraightwaybegantoclamor;thatwasnatural.Ididn"tknowhowtogoaboutsatisfyingit,becauseIknewthatthetestimonyofmenwouldn"tserve——myreasonwouldsaytheywerelunatics,andthrowouttheirevidence.ButallofasuddenIstumbledontheverything,justbyluck.Iknewthattheonlytotaleclipseofthesuninthefirsthalfofthesixthcenturyoccurredonthe21stofJune,A.D.528,O.S.,andbeganat3minutesafter12noon.IalsoknewthatnototaleclipseofthesunwasdueinwhattoMEwasthepresentyear——i.e.,1879.So,ifIcouldkeepmyanxietyandcuriosityfromeatingtheheartoutofmeforforty-eighthours,Ishouldthenfindoutforcertainwhetherthisboywastellingmethetruthornot.

Wherefore,beingapracticalConnecticutman,Inowshovedthiswholeproblemclearoutofmymindtillitsappointeddayandhourshouldcome,inorderthatImightturnallmyattentiontothecircumstancesofthepresentmoment,andbealertandreadytomakethemostoutofthemthatcouldbemade.Onethingatatime,ismymotto——andjustplaythatthingforallitisworth,evenifit"sonlytwopairandajack.Imadeupmymindtotwothings:ifitwasstillthenineteenthcenturyandIwasamonglunaticsandcouldn"tgetaway,Iwouldpresentlybossthatasylumorknowthereasonwhy;andif,ontheotherhand,itwasreallythesixthcentury,allright,Ididn"twantanysofterthing:Iwouldbossthewholecountryinsideofthreemonths;forIjudgedIwouldhavethestartofthebest-educatedmaninthekingdombyamatterofthirteenhundredyearsandupward.I"mnotamantowastetimeaftermymind"smadeupandthere"sworkonhand;

soIsaidtothepage:

"Now,Clarence,myboy——ifthatmighthappentobeyourname——I"llgetyoutopostmeupalittleifyoudon"tmind.Whatisthenameofthatapparitionthatbroughtmehere?"

"Mymasterandthine?ThatisthegoodknightandgreatlordSirKaytheSeneschal,fosterbrothertoourliegetheking."

"Verygood;goon,tellmeeverything."

Hemadealongstoryofit;butthepartthathadimmediateinterestformewasthis:HesaidIwasSirKay"sprisoner,andthatintheduecourseofcustomIwouldbeflungintoadungeonandleftthereonscantcommonsuntilmyfriendsransomedme——unlessIchancedtorot,first.

Isawthatthelastchancehadthebestshow,butIdidn"twasteanybotheraboutthat;timewastooprecious.Thepagesaid,further,thatdinnerwasaboutendedinthegreathallbythistime,andthatassoonasthesociabilityandtheheavydrinkingshouldbegin,SirKaywouldhavemeinandexhibitmebeforeKingArthurandhisillustriousknightsseatedattheTableRound,andwouldbragabouthisexploitincapturingme,andwouldprobablyexaggeratethefactsalittle,butitwouldn"tbegoodformformetocorrecthim,andnotoversafe,either;andwhenIwasdonebeingexhibited,thenhoforthedungeon;buthe,Clarence,wouldfindawaytocomeandseemeeverynowandthen,andcheermeup,andhelpmegetwordtomyfriends.

Getwordtomyfriends!Ithankedhim;Icouldn"tdoless;andaboutthistimealackeycametosayIwaswanted;soClarenceledmeinandtookmeofftoonesideandsatdownbyme.

Well,itwasacuriouskindofspectacle,andinteresting.Itwasanimmenseplace,andrathernaked——yes,andfullofloudcontrasts.Itwasvery,verylofty;soloftythatthebannersdependingfromthearchedbeamsandgirdersawayuptherefloatedinasortoftwilight;therewasastone-railedgalleryateachend,highup,withmusiciansintheone,andwomen,clothedinstunningcolors,intheother.Thefloorwasofbigstoneflagslaidinblackandwhitesquares,ratherbatteredbyageanduse,andneedingrepair.Astoornament,therewasn"tany,strictlyspeaking;

thoughonthewallshungsomehugetapestrieswhichwereprobablytaxedasworksofart;battle-pieces,theywere,withhorsesshapedlikethosewhichchildrencutoutofpaperorcreateingingerbread;withmenontheminscalearmorwhosescalesarerepresentedbyroundholes——sothattheman"scoatlooksasifithadbeendonewithabiscuit-punch.Therewasafireplacebigenoughtocampin;anditsprojectingsidesandhood,ofcarvedandpillaredstonework,hadthelookofacathedraldoor.Alongthewallsstoodmen-at-arms,inbreastplateandmorion,withhalberdsfortheironlyweapon——rigidasstatues;andthatiswhattheylookedlike.

InthemiddleofthisgroinedandvaultedpublicsquarewasanoakentablewhichtheycalledtheTableRound.Itwasaslargeasacircusring;

andarounditsatagreatcompanyofmendressedinsuchvariousandsplendidcolorsthatithurtone"seyestolookatthem.Theyworetheirplumedhats,rightalong,exceptthatwheneveroneaddressedhimselfdirectlytotheking,heliftedhishatatriflejustashewasbeginninghisremark.

Mainlytheyweredrinking——fromentireoxhorns;butafewwerestillmunchingbreadorgnawingbeefbones.Therewasaboutanaverageoftwodogstooneman;andthesesatinexpectantattitudestillaspentbonewasflungtothem,andthentheywentforitbybrigadesanddivisions,witharush,andthereensuedafightwhichfilledtheprospectwithatumultuouschaosofplungingheadsandbodiesandflashingtails,andthestormofhowlingsandbarkingsdeafenedallspeechforthetime;butthatwasnomatter,forthedog-fightwasalwaysabiggerinterestanyway;themenrose,sometimes,toobserveitthebetterandbetonit,andtheladiesandthemusiciansstretchedthemselvesoutovertheirbalusterswiththesameobject;andallbrokeintodelightedejaculationsfromtimetotime.

Intheend,thewinningdogstretchedhimselfoutcomfortablywithhisbonebetweenhispaws,andproceededtogrowloverit,andgnawit,andgreasethefloorwithit,justasfiftyotherswerealreadydoing;andtherestofthecourtresumedtheirpreviousindustriesandentertainments.

Asarule,thespeechandbehaviorofthesepeopleweregraciousandcourtly;andInoticedthattheyweregoodandseriouslistenerswhenanybodywastellinganything——Imeaninadog-fightlessinterval.Andplainly,too,theywereachildlikeandinnocentlot;tellingliesofthestateliestpatternwithamostgentleandwinningnaivety,andreadyandwillingtolistentoanybodyelse"slie,andbelieveit,too.Itwashardtoassociatethemwithanythingcruelordreadful;andyettheydealtintalesofbloodandsufferingwithaguilelessrelishthatmademealmostforgettoshudder.

Iwasnottheonlyprisonerpresent.Thereweretwentyormore.Poordevils,manyofthemweremaimed,hacked,carved,inafrightfulway;andtheirhair,theirfaces,theirclothing,werecakedwithblackandstiffeneddrenchingsofblood.Theyweresufferingsharpphysicalpain,ofcourse;

andweariness,andhungerandthirst,nodoubt;andatleastnonehadgiventhemthecomfortofawash,oreventhepoorcharityofalotionfortheirwounds;yetyouneverheardthemutteramoanoragroan,orsawthemshowanysignofrestlessness,oranydispositiontocomplain.Thethoughtwasforceduponme:"Therascals——THEYhaveservedotherpeoplesointheirday;itbeingtheirownturn,now,theywerenotexpectinganybettertreatmentthanthis;sotheirphilosophicalbearingisnotanoutcomeofmentaltraining,intellectualfortitude,reasoning;itismereanimaltraining;theyarewhiteIndians."

AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur"sCourt-Chapter3Chapter3-KnightsoftheTableRoundMAINLYtheRoundTabletalkwasmonologues——narrativeaccountsoftheadventuresinwhichtheseprisonerswerecapturedandtheirfriendsandbackerskilledandstrippedoftheirsteedsandarmor.Asageneralthing——asfarasIcouldmakeout——thesemurderousadventureswerenotforaysundertakentoavengeinjuries,nortosettleolddisputesorsuddenfallingsout;no,asaruletheyweresimplyduelsbetweenstrangers——duelsbetweenpeoplewhohadneverevenbeenintroducedtoeachother,andbetweenwhomexistednocauseofoffensewhatever.ManyatimeIhadseenacoupleofboys,strangers,meetbychance,andsaysimultaneously,"Icanlickyou,"

andgoatitonthespot;butIhadalwaysimagineduntilnowthatthatsortofthingbelongedtochildrenonly,andwasasignandmarkofchildhood;

butherewerethesebigboobiesstickingtoitandtakingprideinitclearupintofullageandbeyond.Yettherewassomethingveryengagingaboutthesegreatsimple-heartedcreatures,somethingattractiveandlovable.

Theredidnotseemtobebrainsenoughintheentirenursery,sotospeak,tobaitafish-hookwith;butyoudidn"tseemtomindthat,afteralittle,becauseyousoonsawthatbrainswerenotneededinasocietylikethat,andindeedwouldhavemarredit,hinderedit,spoileditssymmetry——perhapsrendereditsexistenceimpossible.

Therewasafinemanlinessobservableinalmosteveryface;andinsomeacertainloftinessandsweetnessthatrebukedyourbelittlingcriticismsandstilledthem.AmostnoblebenignityandpurityreposedinthecountenanceofhimtheycalledSirGalahad,andlikewiseintheking"salso;andtherewasmajestyandgreatnessinthegiantframeandhighbearingofSirLauncelotoftheLake.

TherewaspresentlyanincidentwhichcenteredthegeneralinterestuponthisSirLauncelot.Atasignfromasortofmasterofceremonies,sixoreightoftheprisonersroseandcameforwardinabodyandkneltonthefloorandlifteduptheirhandstowardtheladies"galleryandbeggedthegraceofawordwiththequeen.Themostconspicuouslysituatedladyinthatmassedflower-bedoffeminineshowandfineryinclinedherheadbywayofassent,andthenthespokesmanoftheprisonersdeliveredhimselfandhisfellowsintoherhandsforfreepardon,ransom,captivity,ordeath,assheinhergoodpleasuremightelect;andthis,ashesaid,hewasdoingbycommandofSirKaytheSeneschal,whoseprisonerstheywere,hehavingvanquishedthembyhissinglemightandprowessinsturdyconflictinthefield.

Surpriseandastonishmentflashedfromfacetofacealloverthehouse;

thequeen"sgratifiedsmilefadedoutatthenameofSirKay,andshelookeddisappointed;andthepagewhisperedinmyearwithanaccentandmannerexpressiveofextravagantderision——

"SirKAY,forsooth!Oh,callmepetnames,dearest,callmeamarine!

Intwiceathousandyearsshalltheunholyinventionofmanlaboratoddstobegetthefellowtothismajesticlie!"

EveryeyewasfastenedwithsevereinquiryuponSirKay.Buthewasequaltotheoccasion.Hegotupandplayedhishandlikeamajor——andtookeverytrick.Hesaidhewouldstatethecaseexactlyaccordingtothefacts;hewouldtellthesimplestraightforwardtale,withoutcommentofhisown;"andthen,"saidhe,"ifyefindgloryandhonordue,yewillgiveituntohimwhoisthemightiestmanofhishandsthateverbareshieldorstrakewithswordintheranksofChristianbattle——evenhimthatsitteththere!"andhepointedtoSirLauncelot.Ah,hefetchedthem;itwasarattlinggoodstroke.ThenhewentonandtoldhowSirLauncelot,seekingadventures,somebrieftimegoneby,killedsevengiantsatonesweepofhissword,andsetahundredandforty-twocaptivemaidensfree;

andthenwentfurther,stillseekingadventures,andfoundhim(SirKay)

fightingadesperatefightagainstnineforeignknights,andstraightwaytookthebattlesolelyintohisownhands,andconqueredthenine;andthatnightSirLauncelotrosequietly,anddressedhiminSirKay"sarmorandtookSirKay"shorseandgathimawayintodistantlands,andvanquishedsixteenknightsinonepitchedbattleandthirty-fourinanother;andalltheseandtheformerninehemadetoswearthataboutWhitsuntidetheywouldridetoArthur"scourtandyieldthemtoQueenGuenever"shandsascaptivesofSirKaytheSeneschal,spoilofhisknightlyprowess;andnowherewerethesehalfdozen,andtherestwouldbealongassoonastheymightbehealedoftheirdesperatewounds.

Well,itwastouchingtoseethequeenblushandsmile,andlookembarrassedandhappy,andflingfurtiveglancesatSirLauncelotthatwouldhavegothimshotinArkansas,toadeadcertainty.

EverybodypraisedthevalorandmagnanimityofSirLauncelot;andasforme,Iwasperfectlyamazed,thatoneman,allbyhimself,shouldhavebeenabletobeatdownandcapturesuchbattalionsofpracticedfighters.

IsaidasmuchtoClarence;butthismockingfeatherheadonlysaid:

"AnSirKayhadhadtimetogetanotherskinofsourwineintohim,yehadseentheaccomptdoubled."

Ilookedattheboyinsorrow;andasIlookedIsawthecloudofadeepdespondencysettleuponhiscountenance.Ifollowedthedirectionofhiseye,andsawthataveryoldandwhite-beardedman,clothedinaflowingblackgown,hadrisenandwasstandingatthetableuponunsteadylegs,andfeeblyswayinghisancientheadandsurveyingthecompanywithhiswateryandwanderingeye.Thesamesufferinglookthatwasinthepage"sfacewasobservableinallthefacesaround——thelookofdumbcreatureswhoknowthattheymustendureandmakenomoan.

"Marry,weshallhaveitaagain,"sighedtheboy;"thatsameoldwearytalethathehathtoldathousandtimesinthesamewords,andthatheWILLtelltillhedieth,everytimehehathgottenhisbarrelfullandfeelethhisexaggeration-milla-working.WouldGodIhaddiedorIsawthisday!"

"Whoisit?"

"Merlin,themightyliarandmagician,perditionsingehimforthewearinessheworkethwithhisonetale!Butthatmenfearhimforthathehaththestormsandthelightningsandallthedevilsthatbeinhellathisbeckandcall,theywouldhavedughisentrailsoutthesemanyyearsagotogetatthattaleandsquelchit.Hetellethitalwaysinthethirdperson,makingbelieveheistoomodesttoglorifyhimself——maledictionslightuponhim,misfortunebehisdole!Goodfriend,pritheecallmeforevensong."

Theboynestledhimselfuponmyshoulderandpretendedtogotosleep.

Theoldmanbeganhistale;andpresentlytheladwasasleepinreality;

soalsowerethedogs,andthecourt,thelackeys,andthefilesofmen-at-arms.

Thedroningvoicedronedon;asoftsnoringaroseonallsidesandsupporteditlikeadeepandsubduedaccompanimentofwindinstruments.Someheadswereboweduponfoldedarms,somelaybackwithopenmouthsthatissuedunconsciousmusic;thefliesbuzzedandbit,unmolested,theratsswarmedsoftlyoutfromahundredholes,andpatteredabout,andmadethemselvesathomeeverywhere;andoneofthemsatuplikeasquirrelontheking"sheadandheldabitofcheeseinitshandsandnibbledit,anddribbledthecrumbsintheking"sfacewithnaiveandimpudentirreverence.Itwasatranquilscene,andrestfultothewearyeyeandthejadedspirit.

Thiswastheoldman"stale.Hesaid:

"RightsothekingandMerlindeparted,andwentuntilanhermitthatwasagoodmanandagreatleech.Sothehermitsearchedallhiswoundsandgavehimgoodsalves;sothekingwastherethreedays,andthenwerehiswoundswellamendedthathemightrideandgo,andsodeparted.Andastheyrode,Arthursaid,Ihavenosword.Noforce*,saidMerlin,herebyisa[*FootnotefromM.T.:Nomatter.]swordthatshallbeyoursandI

may.Sotheyrodetilltheycametoalake,thewhichwasafairwaterandbroad,andinthemidstofthelakeArthurwaswareofanarmclothedinwhitesamite,thatheldafairswordinthathand.Lo,saidMerlin,yonderisthatswordthatIspakeof.Withthattheysawadamselgoinguponthelake.Whatdamselisthat?saidArthur.ThatistheLadyofthelake,saidMerlin;andwithinthatlakeisarock,andthereinisasfairaplaceasanyonearth,andrichlybeseen,andthisdamselwillcometoyouanon,andthenspeakyefairtoherthatshewillgiveyouthatsword.

AnonwithalcamethedamseluntoArthurandsalutedhim,andheheragain.

Damsel,saidArthur,whatswordisthat,thatyonderthearmholdethabovethewater?Iwoulditweremine,forIhavenosword.SirArthurKing,saidthedamsel,thatswordismine,andifyewillgivemeagiftwhenIaskityou,yeshallhaveit.Bymyfaith,saidArthur,Iwillgiveyouwhatgiftyewillask.Well,saidthedamsel,goyeintoyonderbargeandrowyourselftothesword,andtakeitandthescabbardwithyou,andI

willaskmygiftwhenIseemytime.SoSirArthurandMerlinalight,andtiedtheirhorsestotwotrees,andsotheywentintotheship,andwhentheycametotheswordthatthehandheld,SirArthurtookitupbythehandles,andtookitwithhim.Andthearmandthehandwentunderthewater;andsotheycameuntothelandandrodeforth.AndthenSirArthursawarichpavilion.Whatsignifiethyonderpavilion?Itistheknight"spavilion,saidMerlin,thatyefoughtwithlast,SirPellinore,butheisout,heisnotthere;hehathadowithaknightofyours,thathightEgglame,andtheyhavefoughttogether,butatthelastEgglamefled,andelsehehadbeendead,andhehathchasedhimeventoCarlion,andweshallmeetwithhimanoninthehighway.Thatiswellsaid,saidArthur,nowhaveIasword,nowwillIwagebattlewithhim,andbeavengedonhim.

Sir,yeshallnotso,saidMerlin,fortheknightiswearyoffightingandchasing,sothatyeshallhavenoworshiptohaveadowithhim;also,hewillnotlightlybematchedofoneknightliving;andthereforeitismycounsel,lethimpass,forheshalldoyougoodserviceinshorttime,andhissons,afterhisdays.Alsoyeshallseethatdayinshortspaceyeshallberightgladtogivehimyoursistertowed.WhenIseehim,Iwilldoasyeadviseme,saidArthur.ThenSirArthurlookedonthesword,andlikeditpassingwell.Whetherlikethyoubetter,saidMerlin,theswordorthescabbard?Melikethbetterthesword,saidArthur.Yearemoreunwise,saidMerlin,forthescabbardisworthtenofthesword,forwhileyehavethescabbarduponyouyeshallneverlosenoblood,beyeneversosorewounded;therefore,keepwellthescabbardalwayswithyou.

SotheyrodeintoCarlion,andbythewaytheymetwithSirPellinore;

butMerlinhaddonesuchacraftthatPellinoresawnotArthur,andhepassedbywithoutanywords.Imarvel,saidArthur,thattheknightwouldnotspeak.Sir,saidMerlin,hesawyounot;forandhehadseenyouyehadnotlightlydeparted.SotheycameuntoCarlion,whereofhisknightswerepassingglad.Andwhentheyheardofhisadventurestheymarveledthathewouldjeopardhispersonsoalone.Butallmenofworshipsaiditwasmerrytobeundersuchachieftainthatwouldputhispersoninadventureasotherpoorknightsdid."

AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur"sCourt-Chapter4Chapter4-SirDinadantheHumoristITseemedtomethatthisquaintliewasmostsimplyandbeautifullytold;

butthenIhadhearditonlyonce,andthatmakesadifference;itwaspleasanttotheotherswhenitwasfresh,nodoubt.

SirDinadantheHumoristwasthefirsttoawake,andhesoonrousedtherestwithapracticaljokeofasufficientlypoorquality.Hetiedsomemetalmugstoadog"stailandturnedhimloose,andhetorearoundandaroundtheplaceinafrenzyoffright,withalltheotherdogsbellowingafterhimandbatteringandcrashingagainsteverythingthatcameintheirwayandmakingaltogetherachaosofconfusionandamostdeafeningdinandturmoil;atwhicheverymanandwomanofthemultitudelaughedtillthetearsflowed,andsomefelloutoftheirchairsandwallowedonthefloorinecstasy.Itwasjustlikesomanychildren.SirDinadanwassoproudofhisexploitthathecouldnotkeepfromtellingoverandoveragain,toweariness,howtheimmortalideahappenedtooccurtohim;andasisthewaywithhumoristsofhisbreed,hewasstilllaughingatitaftereverybodyelsehadgotthrough.Hewassosetupthatheconcludedtomakeaspeech——ofcourseahumorousspeech.IthinkIneverheardsomanyoldplayed-outjokesstrungtogetherinmylife.Hewasworsethantheminstrels,worsethantheclowninthecircus.Itseemedpeculiarlysadtosithere,thirteenhundredyearsbeforeIwasborn,andlistenagaintopoor,flat,worm-eatenjokesthathadgivenmethedrygripeswhenI

wasaboythirteenhundredyearsafterwards.Itaboutconvincedmethatthereisn"tanysuchthingasanewjokepossible.Everybodylaughedattheseantiquities——butthentheyalwaysdo;Ihadnoticedthat,centurieslater.However,ofcoursethescofferdidn"tlaugh——Imeantheboy.No,hescoffed;therewasn"tanythinghewouldn"tscoffat.HesaidthemostofSirDinadan"sjokeswererottenandtherestwerepetrified.Isaid"petrified"wasgood;asIbelieved,myself,thattheonlyrightwaytoclassifythemajesticagesofsomeofthosejokeswasbygeologicperiods.

Butthatneatideahittheboyinablankplace,forgeologyhadn"tbeeninventedyet.However,Imadeanoteoftheremark,andcalculatedtoeducatethecommonwealthuptoitifIpulledthrough.Itisnousetothrowagoodthingawaymerelybecausethemarketisn"tripeyet.

NowSirKayaroseandbegantofireuponhishistory-millwithmeforfuel.Itwastimeformetofeelserious,andIdid.SirKaytoldhowhehadencounteredmeinafarlandofbarbarians,whoallworethesameridiculousgarbthatIdid——agarbthatwasaworkofenchantment,andintendedtomakethewearersecurefromhurtbyhumanhands.Howeverhehadnullifiedtheforceoftheenchantmentbyprayer,andhadkilledmythirteenknightsinathreehours"battle,andtakenmeprisoner,sparingmylifeinorderthatsostrangeacuriosityasIwasmightbeexhibitedtothewonderandadmirationofthekingandthecourt.Hespokeofmeallthetime,intheblandestway,as"thisprodigiousgiant,"and"thishorriblesky-toweringmonster,"and"thistuskedandtalonedman-devouringogre",andeverybodytookinallthisboshinthenaivestway,andneversmiledorseemedtonoticethattherewasanydiscrepancybetweenthesewateredstatisticsandme.HesaidthatintryingtoescapefromhimIsprangintothetopofatreetwohundredcubitshighatasinglebound,buthedislodgedmewithastonethesizeofacow,which"all-tobrast"themostofmybones,andthensworemetoappearatArthur"scourtforsentence.Heendedbycondemningmetodieatnoononthe21st;andwassolittleconcernedaboutitthathestoppedtoyawnbeforehenamedthedate.

Iwasinadismalstatebythistime;indeed,IwashardlyenoughinmyrightmindtokeeptherunofadisputethatsprungupastohowIhadbetterbekilled,thepossibilityofthekillingbeingdoubtedbysome,becauseoftheenchantmentinmyclothes.Andyetitwasnothingbutanordinarysuitoffifteen-dollarslopshops.Still,Iwassaneenoughtonoticethisdetail,towit:manyofthetermsusedinthemostmatter-offactwaybythisgreatassemblageofthefirstladiesandgentlemeninthelandwouldhavemadeaComancheblush.Indelicacyistoomildatermtoconveytheidea.However,Ihadread"TomJones,"and"RoderickRandom,"andotherbooksofthatkind,andknewthatthehighestandfirstladiesandgentlemeninEnglandhadremainedlittleornocleanerintheirtalk,andinthemoralsandconductwhichsuchtalkimplies,clearuptoahundredyearsago;infactclearintoourownnineteenthcentury——inwhichcentury,broadlyspeaking,theearliestsamplesoftherealladyandrealgentlemandiscoverableinEnglishhistory——orinEuropeanhistory,forthatmatter——maybesaidtohavemadetheirappearance.SupposeSirWalter,insteadofputtingtheconversationsintothemouthsofhischaracters,hadallowedthecharacterstospeakforthemselves?WeshouldhavehadtalkfromRebeccaandIvanhoeandthesoftladyRowenawhichwouldembarrassatrampinourday.However,totheunconsciouslyindelicateallthingsaredelicate.

KingArthur"speoplewerenotawarethattheywereindecentandIhadpresenceofmindenoughnottomentionit.

Theyweresotroubledaboutmyenchantedclothesthattheyweremightilyrelieved,atlast,whenoldMerlinsweptthedifficultyawayforthemwithacommon-sensehint.Heaskedthemwhytheyweresodull——whydidn"titoccurtothemtostripme.InhalfaminuteIwasasnakedasapairoftongs!Anddear,dear,tothinkofit:Iwastheonlyembarrassedpersonthere.Everybodydiscussedme;anddiditasunconcernedlyasifIhadbeenacabbage.QueenGueneverwasasnaivelyinterestedastherest,andsaidshehadneverseenanybodywithlegsjustlikeminebefore.ItwastheonlycomplimentIgot——ifitwasacompliment.

FinallyIwascarriedoffinonedirection,andmyperilousclothesinanother.Iwasshovedintoadarkandnarrowcellinadungeon,withsomescantremnantsfordinner,somemoldystrawforabed,andnoendofratsforcompany.

AConnecticutYankeeinKingArthur"sCourt-Chapter5Chapter5-AnInspirationIWASsotiredthatevenmyfearswerenotabletokeepmeawakelong.

WhenInextcametomyself,Iseemedtohavebeenasleepaverylongtime.Myfirstthoughtwas,"Well,whatanastonishingdreamI"vehad!

IreckonI"vewakedonlyjustintimetokeepfrombeinghangedordrownedorburnedorsomethingI"llnapagaintillthewhistleblows,andthenI"llgodowntothearmsfactoryandhaveitoutwithHercules."

ButjustthenIheardtheharshmusicofrustychainsandbolts,alightflashedinmyeyes,andthatbutterfly,Clarence,stoodbeforeme!Igaspedwithsurprise;mybreathalmostgotawayfromme.

"What!"Isaid,"youhereyet?Goalongwiththerestofthedream!

scatter!"

Butheonlylaughed,inhislight-heartedway,andfelltomakingfunofmysorryplight.

"Allright,"Isaidresignedly,"letthedreamgoon;I"minnohurry."

"Pritheewhatdream?"

"Whatdream?Why,thedreamthatIaminArthur"scourt——apersonwhoneverexisted;andthatIamtalkingtoyou,whoarenothingbutaworkoftheimagination."

"Oh,la,indeed!andisitadreamthatyou"retobeburnedto-morrow?