第7章
Hisvanityandhislazinesswerealikeinvincible.Hebelievedhimselfamiracleoflearningaswellasaperfectthief,andphysicaltoilwasthesole`lay"forwhichheprofessednocapacity.Forawhilehecorrectedthepressforaprinter,andheroundlyassertsthathisknowledgeofliteratureandofforeigntonguesrenderedhiminvaluable.ItwasvanityagainthatinducedhimtoasserthisinnocencewhenhewaslaggedforsovulgaracrimeasstealingawipefromatradesmaninChanceryLane.AtthemomentofarresthewasonhiswaytopurchasebasecoinfromaWhitechapelbit-faker:but,despitehisnefariouserrand,heisrighteouslywrathfulatwhatheassertswasanunjustconviction,andhenceforthheassumedthecrownofmartyrdom.Hisfirstandlastambitionduringtheintervalsoffreedomwasgentility,andsolongashewasnotatworkhelivedthelifeofarespectablegrocer.AlthoughthecasualCyprianflitsacrosshispage,hepursuedtheoneflameofhislifeforthegoodmotive,andheaffectstobeaverymodelofdomesticity.Thesentimentofpietyalsowasstronguponhim,andifhedidnot,liketheillustriousPeace,prayforhisjailer,herivalledthePrisonOrdinaryincomfortingthecondemned.Haditonlybeenhisfatetodieonthegallows,howunctuoushadbeenhiscroak!
Thetextofhis`Memoirs"havingbeenedited,itisscarcepossibletodefinehisliterarytalent.Thebook,asitstands,isanexcellentpieceofnarrative,butitlosessomewhatbythepretenceofstyle.Theman"sinvulnerableconceitpreventedanabsolutefrankness,andthereislittleenoughhilaritytocorrecttheacidsentimentandtheintolerablevowsofrepentance.Again,thoughheknowshissubject,andcanpatterflashwiththebest,hisincorrigiblerespectabilityleadshimtoapethemannerofaGrubStreethack,andtobanishtoavocabularythosepearlsofslangwhichmighthaveaddedvigourandlustretohissomewhattiresomepage.However,thethiefcannotescapehisinevitabledefects.Thevanity,theweakness,thesentimentalityofthosewhoarebornbeastsofprey,yethavethefacultyofdepredationonlyhalf-developed,arethefoesoftruth,anditiswelltorememberthattheautobiographyofarascalistaintedatitssource.Acongenialpickpocket,equippedwiththeself-knowledgeandthecandourwhichwouldenablehimtorecognisehimselfanoutlawandjusticehisenemyratherthananinstrumentofmalice,wouldproveaNapoleonratherthanaVaux.Sothatwemuste"enacceptourNewgateCalendarwithitsmanyfaultsuponitshead,andbecontent.
Forittakesamanofgeniustowriteabook,andthethiefwhoturnsauthorcommonlyinhabitsaparadiseofthesecond-rate.
GEORGEBARRINGTON
GEORGEBARRINGTON
ASCaptainHindwasmasteroftheroad,GeorgeBarringtonwas(andremainsforever)theabsolutemonarchofpickpockets.
Thoughtheart,supersedingthecuttingofpurses,hadbeenpractisedwithcourageandaddressforhalfacenturybeforeBarringtonsawthelight,itwashisownincomparablegeniusthatraisedthieveryfromthedangerousvalleyofexperiment,andsetit,secureandhonoured,uponthemountainheightofperfection.
Toanaturalhabitofdepredation,which,beingamanofletters,hewaswonttojustify,headdedasurenessofhand,afertilityofresource,arecklessnessofcouragewhichdrovehiscontemporariestoanamazedrespect,andfromwhichnonebutthePhilistinewillwithholdhisadmiration.Anaccidentdiscoveredhistasteandtalent.Atschoolheattemptedtokillacompanion——theoneactofviolencewhichsulliesastrangelygentlecareer;andoutragedattheaffrontofaflogging,hefledwithtwelveguineasandagoldrepeaterwatch.Avulgartheftthis,andnopresageoffuturegreatness;yetitprovesthefearlessgreed,thecontemptofprivateproperty,whichmarkaswithastigmathetemperamentoftheprig.Hisfacultydidnotrustlongforlackofuse,andatDrogheda,whenhewasbutsixteen,heencounteredonePrice,halfbarnstormer,halfthief.
Forthwithheembracedthetwinprofessions,andintheinterludeofmoreseriouspursuitsisreportedtohavemadearespectableappearanceasJaffierinVenicePreserved.ForawhilehedreamedofDruryLaneandglory;butanattachmentforMissEgerton,theBelvideratohisownJaffier,wasmorecostlythanthebarnsofLondonderrywarranted,and,withPriceforacolleague,hesetforthonatourofrobbery,merelyinterruptedthroughtwentyyearsbyafewperiodsofenforcedleisure.
Hisyouth,indeed,washisgoldenage.Forfouryearshepractisedhisart,chilledbynoshadowofsuspicion,andhisimmunitywasdueaswelltohisexcellentbearingastohissleightofhand.Inoneofthecountlesschap-bookswhichdishonourhisfame,heisunjustlyaccusedofrelyingforhiseffectsuponanelaborateapparatus,halfknife,halfscissors,wherewithtoripthepocketsofhisvictims.Themerebackbitingofenvy!Anartistictriumphwasneverwonsavebylegitimatemeans;andtheherowhoplunderedtheDulceofL——ratRanelagh,whoemptiedthepocketsofhisacquaintancewithoutfearofexposure,whoallbutcarriedoffthepricelesssnuff-boxofCountOrloff,mostassuredlyfollowedhiscraftinfullsimplicityandwithaproperscornofclumsyartifice.Athisfirstappearancehewasthemaster,sumptuouslyapparelled,withPriceforvalet.AtDublinhisbirthandqualitywereneverquestioned,andwhenhemadeadescentuponLondonitwasincompanywithCaptainW.H——n,whoremainedforyearshisloyalfriend.HevisitedBrightonasthechosencompanionofLordFerrersandthewickedLordLyttelton.Hismannersandlearningwerealikeirresistible.Thoughthepickingofpocketswastheartandinterestofhislife,hewasontermsofeasyfamiliaritywithlightliterature,andheconsiderednotoiltoowearisomeifonlyhisconversationmightdazzlehisvictims.Twomaximshecharactereduponhisheart:theone,nevertorunalargeriskforasmallgain;theother,nevertoforgetthecarriageanddictionofagentleman.
Heneverstoopedtopilfer,untilexposureanddecayhadweakenedhishand.InhisfirstweekatDublinhecarriedoff
Hekeptacommonplacebook!Waseversuchthriftinathief?
Whateverimagesorthoughtsflashedthroughhisbrain,heseizedthemonpaper,even`amidstthejollityofatavern,orinthewarmthofaninterestingconversation."Wasitthenstrangethathetriumphedasamanoffashionableandculturedleisure?HewouldvisitRanelaghwiththemostdistinguished,andturnawhilefromepigramandjesttoemptythepocketofarichacquaintance.Andeverwithsotactfulacertainty,withsofinearestraintoftheemotions,thatsuspicionwaspreposterous.Tocataloguehisexploitsissuperfluous,yetletitberecordedthatoncehewenttoCourt,habitedasaclergyman,andcamehomethericherforadiamondorder,LordC——"sproudestdecoration.
EventheassaultuponPrinceOrloffwasnoblyplanned.
Barringtonhadpreciseintelligenceofthemarvelloussnuff-box——
theEmpress"sowngifttoherlover;heknewalsohowhemightmeetthePrinceatDruryLane;hehadevendiscoveredthatthePrinceforsafetyhidthejewelinhisvest.ButthePrincefeltthePrig"shanduponthetreasure,andgaveaninstantalarm.
Over-confidence,maybe,oratooliberaldinnerwasthecauseoffailure,andBarrington,surroundedinamoment,wasspeedilyinthelock-up.Itwasthefirstrebuffthattheherohadreceived,andstraightwayhistactandingenuitylefthim.Theevidencewasfaulty,theprosecutiondeclined,andnaughtwasnecessaryforescapesavepresenceofmind.Evenfriendswerestaunch,andhadBarringtontoldhiscustomarylie,hischaracterhadgoneunsullied.Yethavingposedforhisfriendsasastudentofthelaw,atBowStreethemustneedsdeclarehimselfadoctor,andtheneedlessdiscrepancyruinedhim.Thoughheescapedthegallows,therewasanendtothediversionsofintellectandfashion;ashediscoveredwhenhevisitedtheHouseofLordstohearanappeal,andBlackRodejectedhimatthepersuasionofMr.G.Asyetunusedtoinsult,hethreatenedviolenceagainsttheaggressor,andfindingnobailhewassentonhisfirstimprisonmenttotheBridewellinTothillFields.
Rapid,indeed,wasthedescent.Atthefirstgripofadversity,heforgothischerishedprinciples,andtwoyearslatertheloftiestandmostelegantgentlementhateverpickedapocketwasattheHulks——forrobbingaharlotatDruryLane!Henceforth,hisinsolenceandartistrydeclined,and,thoughtothelasttherewereintervalsofgrandeur,hespentthebetterpartoffifteenyearsinthecommissionofcrimes,whoseverylittlenesscondemnedthem.AtlastanexilefromSt.James"sandRanelagh,hewasforcedintoasocietywhichstillfurtherdegradedhim.
Hithertohehadshunnedthesocietyofprofessedthieves;inhisgoldenyouthhehadscornedtoshelterhimintheflashkens,whichwerethenaturalharboursofpickpockets.Butnow,sayshisbiographer,hebegantoseekevilcompany,and,thevictimofhisownfame,foundsafetyonlyinobsceneconcealment.
AttheHulksherecoveredsomethingofhisdignity,anddiscretionrenderedhisfirstvisitbriefenough.Evenwhenhewascommittedonasecondoffence,andhadattemptedsuicide,hewasstillirresistible,andhewasdischargedwithseveralyearsofimprisonmenttorun.But,intruth,hewasbornforhonouranddistinction,andcommonactions,commoncriminals,wereintheenddistastefultohim.Inhisheydayhestoopednofurtherthantoemploysuchfencesasmightprofitablydisposeofhisbooty,andthetwopartnersofhismisdeedswerebothremarkable.
James,theearlieraccompliceaffectedclericalattire,andin1791`waslivinginaWestphalianmonastery,towhichhesomeyearsagoretired,inanenviablestateofpeaceandpenitence,respectedforhistalents,andlovedforhisamiablemanners,bywhichheisdistinguishedinaneminentdegree."Theotherruffian,Lowebyname,wasknowntohisownBloomsburySquareforaphilanthropicandculturedgentleman,yetonlysuicidesavedhimfromthegallows.AndwhileBarringtonwaswiseinthechoiceofhisservants,hismannersdroveevenstrangerstoadmiration.Policemenandprisonerswerealikeanxioustodohimhonour.Oncewhenheneededmoneyforhisowndefence,hisbrotherthieves,whomhehadevershunnedanddespised,collected
ButitwasnotuntilthepickpocketsetoutforBotanyBaythathetookfulladvantageofhisgentlemanlybearing.Tothrust`Mr."Barringtonintotheholdwasplainlyimpossible,eventhoughtransportationforsevenyearswashispunishment.
Whereforehewasadmittedtotheboatswain"smess,wasallowedasmuchbaggageasafirst-classpassenger,anddoubtlessbeguiledthevoyage(forothers)withtheinformationofawell-storedmind.Byaninspirationofluckhecheckedamutiny,holdingthequarter-deckagainstamobofruffianswithnoweaponbutamarline-spike.Andhereafter,ashetellsyouinhis`VoyagetoNewSouthWales,"hewasaccordedthefullestlibertytocomeorgo.Hevisitedmanyaforeignportwiththeofficersoftheship;hepackedahundrednote-bookswithtriteandsuperfluousobservations;heposed,inbrief,asthecaptainoftheshipwithoutresponsibility.ArrivedatPortJackson,hewasacclaimedahero,andreceivedwithobsequioussolicitudebytheGovernor,whopromisedthathis`futuresituationshouldbesuchaswouldrenderhisbanishmentfromEnglandaslittleirksomeaspossible."ForthwithhewasappointedhighconstableofParamatta,and,likeVautrin,whomighthavetakentheyouthfulBarringtonforanotherRastignac,heendedhisdaysthehonourablecustodianoflessfortunateconvicts.Or,asabroadsideballadhasit,HeleftoldDrury"sflashpurlieus,Toturnatlastacopper.
Neverdidhereverttohisancientpractice.Ifinhisyouthhehadlivedthedouble-lifewithaneffronteryandelegancewhichBrodiehimselfneverattained,henceforthhiscareerwassingleinitsinnocence.Hebecameapriginthelessharmfulandmoreoffensivesense.Aftertheorthodoxfashionheendearedhimselftoallwhoknewhim,andruledParamattawithanequableseverity.Havingcultivatedthehumanitiesforthebasepurposesofhistrade,henowdevotedhimselftoliteraturewithanenergyofdulness,becoming,asitwere,aliberaleducationpersonified.Hisearliereffortshadbeeninverse,andyouwonderthatnoenterprisingpublisherhadventuredonalimitededition.TimewashecomposedanodetoLight,andoncerecoveringfromafevercontractedatBallyshannon,headdressedafewburninglinestoHygeia:
Hygeia!thouwhoseeyesdisplayThelustreofmeridianday;
andsoonforendlesscouplets.Then,hadhenotcelebratedinimmortalversehisloveforMissEgerton,untimelydrownedinthewatersoftheBoyne?Butnow,asbecametheConstableofParamatta,hechosethesternermedium,andfolloweduphis`VoyagetoNewSouthWales"withseveralexceedingtriteandvaluablehistories.
HismostambitiousworkwasdedicatedinperiodsofunctuouspietytohisMajestyKingGeorgeIII.,andthebook"sfirstsentenceischaracteristicofhismethodandsensibility:`Incontemplatingtheorigin,rise,andfallofnations,themindisalternatelyfilledwithamixtureofsacredpainandpleasure."
Wouldyoureadfurther?ThenyouwillfindFaunaandFlora,twingoddessesofineptitude,flittingacrossthepage,unreadableasageographicaltreatise.HisfirstmasterpiecewastranslatedintoFrench,annoVI.,andthetranslatorapologisesthatwarwithEnglandalonepreventsthecompilationofasuitablebiography.Waseverthieftreatedwithsograveaconsideration?
ThenanotherworkwasprefacedbytheRightHon.WilliamEden,andallwere`embellishedwithbeautifulcolouredplates,"andranthroughseveraleditions.Onceonlydidhereturntopoetry,thefavouredmediumofhisyouth,andhereturnedtowriteanimperishableline.Eventhenhispedantrypersuadedhimtorenouncetheauthorship,andtodisparagetheachievement.TheoccasionwastheopeningofatheatreatSydney,whereinthepartsweresustainedbyconvicts.Thecostofadmissiontothegallerywasoneshilling,paidinmoney,flour,meat,orspirits.
TheplaywasentitledTheRevengeandtheHotel,andBarringtonprovidedtheprologue,whichforonepassageisforevermemorable.Thusitruns:
Fromdistantclimes,o"erwidespreadseas,wecome,Thoughnotwithmucheclatorbeatofdrum;
Truepatriotswe,forbeitunderstood,Weleftourcountryforourcountry"sgood.
Noprivateviewsdisgracedourgenerouszeal,Whaturgedourtravelswasourcountry"sweal;
Andnonewilldoubt,butthatouremigrationHasprovedmostusefultotheBritishnation.
`Weleftourcountryforourcountry"sgood."Thatline,thrownfortuitouslyintofourhundredpagesofsolidprose,hasemergedtobecomethecommonpossessionofFleetStreet.Itistheman"sonetitletoliteraryfame,forspurningthethievishpracticeheknewsowell,hewasrighteouslyindignantwhenTheLondonSpywasfathereduponhim.Thoughheemptiedhiscontemporary"spocketsofmanythousands,heenrichedtheDictionaryofQuotationswithoneline,whichwillberepeatedsolongasthereishumanhandtowieldapen.And,iftheHighConstableofParamattawastediouslyrespectable,GeorgeBarrington,thePrig,wasamanofgenius.
THESWITCHER
ANDGENTLEMANHARRY
I
THESWITCHER
THESWITCHER
DAVIDHAGGARTwasbornatCanonmills,withnoricherbirthrightthanthievishfingersandalefthandofsurpassingactivity.
Thesonofagamekeeper,hegrewupalong-legged,red-headedcallant,lurkinginthesombreshadowoftheCowgate,orliketheyoungSirWalter,championingtheAuldTownagainsttheNewontheslopesofArthur"sSeat.Kippingwashisearlysin;butthesportsman"sinstinct,bornofhisfather"strade,wassostrongwithinhim,thathepinchedafightingcockbeforehewasbreeched,andriskedthenooseforhorse-stealingwhenmarblesshouldhaveengrossedhisboyishfancy.Turbulentandlawless,hebitterlyresentedtheintolerablerestraintofatranquillife,and,atlast,inthehopeofalargerliberty,heenlistedforadrummerintheNorfolkMilitia,stationedatthemomentinEdinburghCastle.Abrief,insubordinateyear,misspentinhiscountry"sservice,provedhimhopelessofdiscipline:heclaimedhisdischarge,andhenceforthhewasfreetofollowtheonecraftforwhichnatureandhisownambitionhadmouldedhim.
LikeChatterton,likeRimbaud,Haggartcameintothefullpossessionofhistalentwhilestillachild.ABarringtonoffourteen,hekneweveryturnandtwistofhiscraft,beforeheescapedfromschool.Hisyouthfulnecessitiesweremunificentlysuppliedbyfaciledepredation,andtheonlyhindrancetoimmediatericheswashisignoranceofflashkenswherehemightfencehisplunder.Meanwhilehepaintedhissoulblackwithwickedness.SuchhoursashecouldsnatchfromtheprofitableconductofhistradehedevotedtotheausteredebaucheryofLeithortheGoldenAcre.Thoughheknewnottheseductionofwhisky,hemissedneveradancenoraraffle,joiningthefrolicsofprigsandcalletsincompleteforgetfulnessoftheshortercatechism.Invainthekirkcomparedhimtoa`bottleinthesmoke";invaintheministerwhisperedofhellandthegallows;
hishearthardened,ashisfingersgrewagile,andwhen,atsixteen,helefthisfather"shouseforasportinglife,hehadnothisequalinthethreekingdomsforcunningandcourage.
HisfirstaccomplicewasBarneyM"Guire,who——untilafourteenstretchsenthimtoBotanyBay——playedClytustoDavid"sAlexander,anditwasatPortobelloRacesthattheirbrilliantpartnershipbegan.HithertoHaggarthadworkedbystealth;hehadtrackedhisbootyunderthecloudofnight.Nowwasthemomenttoprovehisprowessintheeyeofday,tobreakwithapastwhichhealreadydeemedignoble.Hisheartleapedwiththeoccasion:hetackledhisadventurewiththehot-headenergyofanewmember,bigwithhismaidenspeech.Thevictimwaschoseninaninstant:abacker,whosegoodfortunehadbrokenthebookmakers.Therewasnothiefonthecoursewhodidnotwait,inhungryappetence,thesportsman"sdescentfromthestand;yetthenoviceoutstrippedthemall.`Igotthefirstdiveathiskeek-cloy,"hewritesinhissimple,heroicstyle,`andwassoeageronmyprey,thatIpulledoutthepocketalongwiththemoney,andnearlyupsetthegentleman."Asteadybrainsavedhimfromtheconsequenceofano"erbuoyantenthusiasm.ThenoteswerepassedtoBarneyinaflash,andwhenthesportsmanturneduponhisassailant,Haggart"shandswereempty.
Thereuponfollowedaninfiniteseriesofbrilliantexploits.
WithBarneytoaid,heplunderedtheBorderlikeareiver.HestrippedtheyeomenofTweedsidewithaferocitywhichshouldhaveavengedthedisgraceofFlodden.MorethanonceheransackedEcclefechan,thoughitisunlikelythatheemptiedtheleanpocketofThomasCarlyle.TherewasnotagafffromNewcastletotheTaywhichhedidnothauntwithsedulousperseverance;norwasheconfrontedwithfailure,untilhisfigurebecameauniversalterror.Hiscommonmethodwastopriceahorse,andwhilethedealershowedBarneytheanimal"steeth,Haggartwouldslipundertheupliftedarm,andeasetheblockheadofhisblunt.Arrogantinhisskill,delightedwithhismanifoldtriumphs,Haggartledalifeofunbrokenprosperityunderthebriskairofheaven,and,despitetheriskofhisprofession,heremainedtwoyearsastrangertopovertyandimprisonment.Hisworstmishapwastosliphisforksintoanemptypocket,ortoencounterinhiscupsamilvaderinghorse-
dealer;buthisjoyswerefreeandfrank,whileheexultedinhissuccesswithaboyishglee.`IwasneverhappierinallmylifethanwhenIfingeredallthismoney,"heexclaimswhenhehadcapturedthecomfortableprizeoftwohundredpounds.AndthenhewouldmakemerryatNewcastleorYork,forgettingtheknowingonesforawhile,goingabroadinwhitecapeandtops,andflickinghisleglikeagentlemanwithadandywhip.ButatlastBarneyandawaywardambitionpersuadedhimtodeserthispropercraftforthegreaterhazardofcrackingacrib,andthushewasinvolvedinhisultimateruin.Heincurredandhedeservedtheuntowardfateofthosewhooverlooktheirtalents"limitation;
andwhenthismasterofpickpocketsfollowedBarneythroughthewindowofasecludedhouseupontheYorkRoad,hemightalreadyhavefeltthenoosetighteningathisneck.Theimmediaterewardofthisbungledattackwasthirtypounds,buttwodayslaterhewascommittedwithBarneytotheDurhamAssizes,whereheexchangedtheobscurityoftheperfectcraftsmanforthenotorietyofthedangerousgaol-bird.
Forthemoment,however,herecoveredhisfreedom:breakingprison,hestraightwayconveyedafiddlesticktohiscomrade,andinatwinklingwasatNewcastleagain,pickinguppurseswelllinedwithgold,androbbingthebumpkinsoftheirscoutsandchats.Butthetimeofsecuritywasoverpast.Markedandsuspicious,hebegantofearthesolitudeofthecountry;heleftthehorse-fairforthecity,andsoughtinthebudging-kensofEdinburghthesecrecyimpossibleonthehill-side.Aclumsyexperimentinshop-liftingdoubledhisdanger,andmorethanoncehesawtheinsideofthepolice-office.Henceforth,hewasfreeofthefamily;heloafedintheShirra-Brae;heknewtheflashhousesofLeithandtheGrassmarket.WithJeanJohnston,theblowenofhischoice,hesmearedhishandswiththesqualorofpettytheft,andthedrunkenrecklessnesswherewithheswaggereditabroadhastenedhisapproachingdownfall.
Withaperpetualanxietytoavoidthenippershisartistrydwindled.Thelefthand,invincibleontheCheviots,seemednobetterthanabunchofthumbsinthenarrowwaysofEdinburgh;
andafterinnumerablemisadventuresHaggartwassafelylodgedinDumfriesgaol.Nosoonerwashelockedwithinhiscellthanhisrestlessbrainplannedagenerousescape.Hewouldwinlibertyforhisfellowsaswellasforhimself,andafterabriefcouncilamurderousplotwasframedandexecuted.AstoneslunginahandkerchiefsentMorrin,thegaoler,tosleep;thekeysfoundonhimopenedthemassydoors;andHaggartwasfreewitharewardsetuponhishead.Theshockoftheenterpriserestoredhismagnanimity.Neverdidhedisplayafinerbraverythaninthisspiritedraceforhislife,andthoughthreecountieswerearousedhedoubledandduckedtosuchpurposethatheoutstrippedJohnRichardsonhimselfwithallhisbloodhounds,andtwodayslatermarchedintoCarlisledisguisedinthestolenragsofapotato-bogle.
DuringthefewmonthsthatremainedtohimoflifeheembarkeduponaveritableOdyssey:hescouredScotlandfromtheBordertoSt.Andrews,andfinallycontrivedajourneyoverseatoIreland,wherehemadethenameofDanielO"Brienaterrortowell-doers.
Insolentandcareless,helurchedfromprisontoprison;nowitwasArmaghthatheldhim,nowDownpatrick,untilatlasthewasthrustonageneralchargeofvagabondageandill-companyintoKilmainham,whichhassinceharbouredmanyalessvaliantadventurerthanDavidHaggart.Heretheculminatingdisgraceovertookhim:hewasdetectedintheprisonyardbyhisancientenemy,JohnRichardson,ofDumfries,whodraggedhimbacktoScotlandheavilyshackledandchargedwithmurder.Sonimblehadheprovedhimselfinextrication,thathiscaptorssecuredhimwithpitilessseverity;roundhiswaisthecarriedanironbelt,wheretowerepadlockedthechains,clankingathiswristsandankles.Thustorturedandhelpless,hewasfed`likeasuckingturkeyinBedlam";buthissorrowsvanished,andhisdyingcouragerevivedatsightofthetorchlightprocession,whichsetforthfromDumfriestogreethisreturn.
Hiscoachwashustledbyamob,thousandsstrong,eagertocatchsightofHaggarttheMurderer,andthoughthespotwhereheslewMorrinwaslikefirebeneathhispassingfeet,hecarriedtohiscellaheartandabrainaflamewithgratifiedvanity.Hisguiltbeingpatent,reprievewasashopelessasacquittal,andaftertheassuredcondemnationhespenthislastfewdayswithwhatprofithemightinreligiousandliteraryexercises.Hecomposedamemoir,whichisamodelofitskind;sodiligentlydidhemakehissoul,thathecouldappearonthescaffoldinachastenedspiritofprayerfulgratitude;and,beinganeminentscoundrel,heseemedapropersubjectfortheministrationsofMr.GeorgeCombe.`ThatistheonethingIdidnotknowbefore,"heconfessedwithanengagingmodesty,whenhisbumpsweresqueezed,andyethewasmorethanamatchfortheamiablephrenologist,whoseignoranceofmankindpersuadedhimtobelievethatanilliteratefeloncouldknowhimselfandanalysehischaracter.
Hischaracterescapedhiscriticsasitescapedhimself.TimewaswhenGeorgeBorrow,thatotherpicaroon,surprisedtheyouthfulDavid,thinkingofWillieWallaceupontheCastleRock,andLavengro"sromanticmemorytransformedtheraw-bonedpickpocketintoamonumentalhero,wholackednothingsaveavasttheatretoproduceavasteffect.HewasaTamerlane,robbedofhisopportunity;avaliantwarrior,wholookedinvainforabattlefield;amarauderwhoclimbedthescaffoldnotforthemagnitude,butforthelittlenessofhissins.ThusBorrow,incompletemisunderstandingoftherascal"squalities.
Now,Haggart"sambitionwasascircumscribedashisability.Hedied,ashewasborn,anexpertcly-faker,whoseachievementsinsleightofhandareasyetunparalleled.Hadtheworldbeenonevastbreastpockethisfish-hookfingerswouldhaveturneditinsideout.Butitwasnothistomountathrone,oroverthrowadynasty.`Myforks,"heboasted,`areequallylong,andtheyneverfailme."Thatisatoncethereasonandthejustificationofhistriumph.Bornwithaconsummateartistrytinglingathisfinger-tips,howshouldheescapethecompulsionofagloriousdestiny?Withoutfumblingorfailurehediscoveredthesinglecraftforwhichfortunehadframedhim,andhepursueditwithacourageandanindustrywhichgavehimnotakingdom,butfameandbooty,exceedingevenhisgreedyaspiration.NoTamerlanehe,questingforacontinent,butDavidHaggart,themanwiththelongforks,happyifhesnatchedhisneighbour"spurse.
Beforeallthingsherespectedtheprofessionwhichhislefthandmadeinevitable,andwhichhepursuedwithunconquerablepride.
Norinhisinspiredyouthwasplunderhissoleambition:hecultivatedthegardenofhisstylewiththenaturalzealoftheartist;hefrowneduponthebunglerwithaloftycontempt.
Hismaterialsweresimplicityitself:hisforks,whichwerealwayswithhim,andanother"swell-filledpocket,since,sensibleofdanger,hecarednottoriskhisneckforapursethatdidnotcontainsomuchaswould`sweetenagrawler."Atitsbest,hismethodwasalwayswitty——thatisthesinglewordwhichwillcharacteriseit——wittyasapieceofHeine"sprose,andasdangerous.Hewouldrunoveraman"spocketswhilehespokewithhim,returningwhathechosetodiscardwithoutthelightestbreathofsuspicion.`Agoodworkman,"hiscontemporariescalledhim;andtheythoughtitashameforhimtobeidle.Moreover,hedidnotblunderunconsciouslyuponhistriumph;hetackledthetradeinsofineaspiritofanalysisthathemighthavebeentheveryAristotleofhisscience.`Thekeek-cloy,"hewrote,inhishintstoyoungsportsmen,`iseasilypicked.Ifthenotesareinthelongfoldjusttipthemtheforks;butifthereisapurseoropenmoneyinthecase,youmustlinkit."Thebreast-pocket,ontheotherhand,isaseverertest.`Pickingthesuckissometimesakittlejob,"
againthephilosopherspeaks.`Ifthecoatisbuttoneditmustbeopenedbyslippingpast.Thenbringthelildownbetweentheflapofthecoatandthebody,keepingyoursparearmacrossyourman"sbreast,andsoslipittoacomrade;thenabusethefellowforjostlingyou."
Notonlydidhemasterthetraditionofthievery;hevauntedhisoriginalitywiththefamiliarcomplacenceofthescoundrel.
Forgettingthatitwasbyburglarythathewasundone,heexplainsforhispublicglorificationthathewaswonttoenterthehousesofLeithbyforcingthesmallwindowabovetheouterdoor.Thisartifice,hisvanitygrumbles,isnowcommon;buthewouldhavealltheworldunderstandthatitwashisowninvention,andhemurmurswiththepedantryoftheconvictedcriminalthatitisnowsetforthforthebetterprotectionofhonestcitizens.Nolessadmirableinhisowneyeswasthatotherartificewhichinducedhimtoconcealsuchnotesashemanagedtofilchinthecollarofhiscoat.Thusheeludedthevigilanceofthepolice,whichsearcheditspreyinthosedayswithasorrylackofcunning.Intruth,Haggart"switswereasnimbleashisfingers,andheseldomfailedtorenderaprofitableaccountofhistalents.Hebeguiledoneofhissojournsingaolbymanufacturingtinderwherewithtolighttheprisoners"pipes,anditisnotastonishingthathewonageneralpopularity.InIreland,whentheconstableswouldtakehimforaScot,heansweredinhighTipperary,andsavedhisskinforawhilebyabroguewhichwouldnothaveshamedamodernpatriot.
Butquickaswerehiswits,hisvanityalwaysoutstrippedthem,andnoheroeverbraggedofhisachievementswithaloudereffrontery.
Nowallyouramblersinmourninggo,Fortheprinceoframblersislyinglow,Andallyoumaidensthatlovethegame,Putonyourmourningveilsagain.
ThushecelebratedhisdownfallinaballadthathasthetrueNewgatering,andverilyinhisowneyeshewasaherowhocarriedtothescaffoldadauntlessspiritunstainedbytreachery.
Hebelievedhimselfanadeptinallthearts;asasquireofdamesheheldhimselfpeerless,andheassuredtheineffableCombe,whorecordedhisflippantutterancewithacredulousrespect,thathehadsacrificedhecatombsofinnocentvirginstohisimportunatelust.Proseandversetrickledwithequalfacilityfromhispen,andhisbiographyisamasterpiece.
Writteninthepedlar"sFrenchasitwasmisspokeninthehellsofEdinburgh,itisanarrativeofuncommonsimplicityanddirectness,marrednowandagainbysuchsuperfluousreflectionsasarethenaturalresultofthievishsentimentality.Hetellshistalewithoutparaphraseoradornment,andtheworthyWritertotheSignet,whopreparedtheworkforthePress,wouldhaveaskedthreetimesthespacetorecordone-halftheadventures.
`Isunkuponitwithmyforksandbroughtitwithme";`Weobtainedthirty-threepoundsbythisaffair"——istherenotthestalwartflavouroftheepicintheseplain,unvarnishedsentences?
Hisotheraccomplishmentsarepallidinthelightofhisbrilliantlefthand.Once,atDerry——heattendedacock-
fight,andbeguiledanintervalbyemptyingthepocketsofaluckybookmaker.Anexpert,whowatchedtheexploitinadmiration,couldnotwithholdacompliment.`YouaretheSwitcher,"heexclaimed;`sometakeall,butyouleavenothing."
AnditisastheSwitcherthatHaggartkeepshismemorygreen.
II
GENTLEMANHARRY
GENTLEMANHARRY
`DAMNyeboth!stop,orIwillblowyourbrainsout!"ThusitwasthatHarrySimmsgreetedhisvictims,provinginaphrasethattheheroicageoftherumpadwasnomore.ForgottenthedebonaircourtesyofClaudeDuval!Forgottenthelightningwit,theswiftreparteeoftheincomparableHind!Nolongerwasthehightoby-gloaka`gentleman"oftheroad;hewasabutcher,ifnotabeggar,onhorseback;abraggartwithoutthecouragetopullatrigger;aswashbuckler,obliviousofthatancientstylewhichconvertedthemiseryofsurrenderintoaprivilege.YetHarrySimms,thesupremeadventurerofhisage,wasnotwithoutdistinction;hislitheformandhishard-riddenhorsewerethecommondreadofEngland;hisactivitywasrewardedwithaprincelytreasure;andifhismethodwerelackinginurbanity,theexcuseisthathedancednottothebrilliantmeasureoftheCavaliers,butlimpedtotheclumsyfiddle-scrapingoftheearlyGeorges.
AtEton,whereatoo-indulgentgrandmotherhadplacedhim,heransackedthedesksofhisschool-fellows,andavengedabirchingbyemptyinghismaster"spockets.Whereforehelostthehopeofapoliteeducation,andinsteadofproceedingwithaclerklydignitytoKing"sCollege,intheUniversityofCambridge,hewasignominiouslyapprenticedtoabreeches-maker.
Theonerestraintwasasirksomeastheother,andHarrySimmsabandonedtheneedle,ashehadscornedthegrammar,togouponthepad.ThoughhisearlycompanionswerescraggedatTyburn,thelight-fingeredrascalwasindifferenttotheirfate,andsquanderingsuchbootyasfelltohisshare,hebravely`turnedout"formore.TottenhamCourtFairwasthetheatreofhischildishexploits,andtherehegainedsomelittleskillinthepickingofpockets.Butaspellofbadtradebroughthimtopoverty,andheattemptedtoreplenishanemptypocketbythechildishexpedientofathreateningletter.
Theplanwasconceivedandexecutedwithafutilitywhichensuredaninstantcapture.Thebunglerchoseastrangerathaphazard,commandinghim,underpenaltyofdeath,tolayfiveguineasuponaguninTowerWharf;theguineaswerecunninglydeposited,andtherascal,caughtwithhishanduponthebooty,wascommittedtoNewgate.Youth,andtheintercessionofhisgrandmother,procuredarelease,unjustifiedbytheinfamousstupidityofthetrick.Itsveryclumsinessshouldhavesenthimoversea;anditiswonderfulthatfromabeginningofsolittlepromise,heshouldhaveclimbedeventhefirstslopesofgreatness.However,thememoryofgaolforcedhimtoabriefinterludeofhonesty;