A Book of Scoundrels

第5章

ThusScotlandbecamealandofdread;themostrestlessmanwithinherbordershardlydaretravelbeyondhisbyre.Thelawwaspowerlessagainstthisindomitablescourge,andtherewardofathousandmarkswouldhavebeenofferedinvain,hadnotGilderoy"scrueltyestrangedhismistress.Thistraitress——PegCunninghamwashername——lessforavaricethaninrevengeformanyinsultsandinfidelities,atlastbetrayedhermaster.

Havingdecoyedhimtoherhouse,sheadmittedfiftyarmedmen,andthusimaginedafullatonementforherunnumberedwrongs.

ButGilderoywastriumphanttothelast.Instantlysuspectingthetreacheryofhismistress,heburstintoherbed-chamber,and,thatshemightnotenjoythepriceofblood,rippedherupwithahanger.Thenheturneddefiantuponthearmyarrayedagainsthim,andkilledeightmenbeforetheotherscapturedhim.

Disarmedafteradesperatestruggle,hewasloadedwithchainsandcarriedtoEdinburgh,wherehewasstarvedforthreedays,andthenhangedwithouttheformalityofatrialonagibbet,thirtyfeethigh,setupintheGrassmarket.EventhenScotland"svengeancewasunsatisfied.Thebody,cutdownfromitsfirstgibbet,washunginchainsfortyfeetaboveLeithWalk,whereitcreakedandgibberedasawarningtoevildoersforhalfacentury,untilatlasttheinhabitantsofthatrespectablequarterpetitionedthatGilderoy"sbonesshouldceasetorattle,andthattheyshouldenjoythepeaceimpossibleforhisjinglingskeleton.

Gilderoywasnodrawing-roomscoundrel,novillainofschoolgirlromance.Hefeltremorseaslittleashefeltfear,andtherewasnocrimefromwhosecommissionheshrank.Beforehisdeathheconfessedtothirty-sevenmurders,andbraggedthathehadlongsincelostcountofhisrobberiesandrapes.Somethingmustbeabatedforboastfulness.Butafteralldeductionthereremainsataleofcrimethatisunsurpassed.Hismostadmirablyartisticqualityishiscompleteconsistence.Hewasaruffianfinishedandrotund;hemadenoconcession,hebetrayednoweakness.Thoughheneverpreachedasermonagainstthehumanrace,hepractisedabrutalitywhichmighthaveproceededfromagospelofhate.Hesparedneitherfriendsnorrelatives,andhemurderedhisownmotherwithaslightaheartashesentastrangewidowofAberdeentoherdeath.Hisskillisundoubted,andheprovedbythedisciplineofhisbandthathewasnotwithoutsometalentofgeneralship.Butheowedmuchofhissuccesstohisphysicalstrength,andtothetemperament,whichneverknewthescandalofhesitancyordread.

Abornmarauder,hedevotedhislifetohistrade;and,despitehistravelsinFranceandSpain,heenjoyedfewintervalsofmerriment.Eventhehumour,whichprovedhisredemption,wasasdourandgrimasScotlandcanfurnishathergrimmes:anddourest.Hereisaspecimenwillserveaswellasanother:threeofGilderoy"sganghadbeenhangedaccordingtothesentenceofacertainLordofSession,andtheChieftain,forhisownvengeanceandtheintimidationofjustice,resolveduponanexemplarypunishment.HewaylaidtheLordofSession,emptiedhispockets,killedhishorses,brokehiscoachinpieces,andhavingboundhislackeys,drownedtheminapond.Thiswasbutthepreludeofrevenge,forpresently(andhereisthetouchofhumour)hemadetheLordofSessionrideatdeadofnighttothegallows,whereonthethreemalefactorswerehanging.Onearmofthecrossbeamswasstilluntenanted.`Bymysoul,mon,"criedGilderoytotheLordofSession,`asthisgibbetisbuilttobreakpeople"scraigs,andisnotuniformwithoutanother,Imuste"enhangyouuponthevacantbeam."AndstraightwaytheLordofSessionswunginthemoonlight,andGilderoyhadcrackedhisblackandsolemnjoke.

ThissenseoffunisthesingletraitwhichrelievesthecolossalturpitudeofGilderoy.And,thoughevenhisturpitudewasmelodramaticinitslackofbalance,itisaunityofcharacterwhichisthefoundationofhisgreatness.Hewasnofumbler,ledawayfromhispurposebythefirstdiversion;hisambitionwasclearbeforehim,andheneverfellbelowit.HedefiedScotlandforfifteenyears,washangedsohighthathepassedintoaproverb,andthoughhishandsome,sinisterfacemighthavemadewomenhisslaves,hewasneverbetrayedbypassion(orbyvirtue)

toanamiability.

SIXTEEN-STRINGJACK

THE`GreenPig"stoodinthesolitudeoftheNorthRoad.Itssimplefront,itsneatlybalancedwindows,curtainedwithwhite,gaveitanairofcomfortandtranquillity.Thesmokewhichcurledfromitshospitablechimneyspokeofwarmthandgoodfare.

Topassitwastospurnthelastchanceofabottleformanyawearymile,andtheprudenttravellerwouldalwaysrestanhourbyitsamplefireside,orgossipwithitsfantastichostess.

Now,thehostessofthelittleinnwasEllenRoach,friendandaccompliceofSixteen-StringJack,oncethemostfamouswomaninEngland,andstillafterawearystretchatBotanyBaythestrangestofcompanions,themostbuxomofspinsters.Herbeautywaselusiveeveninhertriumphantyouth,andmiddle-agehadneithersoftenedhertraitsnorrefinedherexpression.Herauburnhair,oncethegloryofCoventGarden,wasfadingtoawitheredgrey;shewasnevertallenoughtoendureanencroachingstoutnesswithequanimity;herdumpyfiguremadeyoumarvelatherpastsuccess;andhardshiphadfurrowedhercandidbrowintowrinkles.Butwhensheopenedherlipsshebecameinstantlyanimated.Withaglassbeforeheronthetable,shewouldprattlefranklyandengaginglyofthepast.Strangecitieshadsheseen;shehadfacedthedangersofanadventurouslifewithcalmnessandgoodtemper.AndyetBotanyBay,withitsattendanthorrors,wasalreadyfadingfromhermemory.Inimaginationshewasstillwithherincomparablehero,anditwashersolace,afterfifteenyears,tosingthepraiseandechotheperfectionsofSixteen-StringJack.

`HowwellIremember,"shewouldmurmur,asthoughunconsciousofheraudience,`theunhappydaywhenJackRannwasfirstarrested.

ItwasMay,andhecamebacktravel-stainedandwearyinthebrilliantdawn.Hehadstoppedaone-horseshaynearthenine-

milestoneontheHounslowRoad——everywordofhisconfessionisburntintomybrain——andhadtakenawatchandahandfulofguineas.Iwasgladenoughofthemoney,fortherewasnopennyinthehouse,andpresentlyIsentthemaid-servanttomakethebestbargainshecouldwiththewatch.Butthesillyjade,bythesaddestofmishaps,tookthetrinketstraighttotheverymanwhomadeit,andhe,suspectingatheft,hadusbotharrested.

EventhenJackmighthavebeensafe,hadnotthedevilpromptedmetospeakthetruth.Dismayedbythemagistrate,Iowned,wretchedwomanthatIwas,thatIhadreceivedthewatchfromRann,andintwohoursJackalsowasunderlockandkey.

Yet,whenweweresentfortrialImadewhatamendsIcould.I

declaredonoaththatIhadneverseenSixteen-StringJackinmylife;hisnamecametomylipsbyaccident;and,hectorastheywould,thelawyerscouldnotfrightenmetoanacknowledgment.

MeanwhileJack"sownbehaviourwasgrand.IwastheproudestwomaninEnglandasIstoodbyhissideinthedock.WhenyoucomparedhimwithSirJohnFielding,youdidnotdoubtforaninstantwhichwasthefinergentleman.AndwhatadandywasmyJack!Thoughhecametheretoanswerforhislife,hewasallribbonsandfurbelows.Hisironsweretiedupwiththedaintiestbluebows,andinthebreastofhiscoathecarriedabundleofflowersaslargeasabirch-broom.Hisneckquiveredinthenoose,yethewasnevercowedtocivility.`Iknownomoreofthematterthanyoudo,"hecriedindignantly,`norhalfsomuchneither,"andifthemagistratehadnotbeenanill-manneredoaf,hewouldnothavedaredtodisbelievemytrue-heartedJack.Thattimeweescapedwithwholeskins;andoffwewent,afterdinner,toVauxhall,whereJackwasmorenoticedthanthefiercestofthebloods,andwherehefilledtheheartofGeorgeBarringtonwithenvy.Norwasheidle,despitehisrecentescape:hebroughtawaytwowatchesandthreepursesfromtheGarden,sothatournecessitieswereamplysupplied.Ah,IshouldhavebeenhappyinthosedaysifonlyJackhadbeenfaithful.Buthehadarovingeyeandajoyoustemperament;andthoughhelovedmebetterthananyofthebaggagestowhomhepaidcourt,hewouldnotvisitmesooftenasheshould.Why,oncehewashustledofftoBowStreetbecausethewatchcaughthimclimbinginatDollFrampton"swindow.Andshe,theshamelessminx,gothimoffbydeclaringinopencourtthatshewouldbeproudtoreceivehimwheneverhewoulddeigntoringatherbell.Thatisthepenaltyoflovingagreatman:youmustneedssharehisaffectionwithasetofunworthywenches.YetJackwasalwayskindtome,andI

wasthechosencompanionofhispranks.

`NevercanIforgetthesplendidfigurehecutthatdayatBagniggeWells.Wehaddrivendowninourcoach,andalltheworldmarvelledatourmagnificence.Jackwasbraveinascarletcoat,atambourwaistcoat,andwhitesilkstockings.Fromthekneesofhisbreechesstreamedthestrings(eightateach),whencehegothisname,andashepluckedoffhislace-hatthedinner-tableroseathim.Thatwasamomentworthlivingfor,andwhen,afterhisfirstbottle,Jackrattledtheglasses,anddeclaredhimselfahighwayman,thewholecompanyshuddered.

``But,myfriends,""quothhe,``to-dayIammakingholiday,sothatyouhavenaughttofear.""Whenthewine"sin,thewit"sout,andJackcouldneverstayhishandfromthebottle.Themorehedrank,themorehebragged,until,thoroughlyfuddled,helostaringfromhisfinger,andchargedthemiscreantsintheroomwithstealingit.``However,""hiccuppedhe,``"tisamerenothing,worthapaltryhundredpounds——lessthanalazyevening"swork.SoI"llletthetriflingtheftpass.""ButthecowardswerenotcontentwithJack"sgenerosity,andseizinguponhim,theythrusthimneckandcropthroughthewindow.Theywereseventeentoone,thecraven-heartedloons;andIcouldbutleavethemarksofmynailsonthecheekoftheforemost,andfollowmyherointotheyard,wherewetookcoach,anddrovesulkilybacktoCoventGarden.

`Andyethewasnotalwaysinamadhumour;infact,Sixteen-

StringJack,forallhisgaiety,wasaproud,melancholyman.

Theshadowofthetreewasalwaysuponhim,andhewouldmakememiserablebytalkingofhiscertaindoom.``Ihaveahundredpoundsinmypocket,""hewouldsay;``Ishallspendthat,andthenIshan"tlastlong.""AndthoughIneverthoughthimserious,hisprophecycametrueenough.OnlyafewmonthsbeforetheendwehadvisitedTyburntogether.Withhisusualcarelessness,hepassedthelineofconstableswhowereonguard.

``Itisveryproper,""saidhe,inhisjauntiesttone,``thatI

shouldbeaspectatoronthismelancholyoccasion.""Andthoughnoneofthedullardstookhisjest,theyinstantlymadewayforhim.FormyJackwasalwaysagentleman,thoughhewasbredtothestable,andhisbitterestenemycouldnothavedeniedthathewashandsome.Hisopencountenancewasashonestastheday,andthebrowncurlsoverhisforeheadweremoreelegantthanthesmartestwig.Whereverhewenttheworlddidhimhonour,andmanyatimemyvanitywassorelywounded.Iwasaprettygirl,mindyou,thoughmytravelshavenotimprovedmybeauty;andI

hadmanyadmirersbeforeeverIpickedupJackRannatamasquerade.Why,therewasaTemplar,withtwothousandayear,whogavemeacarriageandservantswhileIstilllivedatthedressmaker"sinOxfordStreet,andIwasnotoutofmyteenswhentheoldJewinSt.MaryAxetookmeintokeeping.ButwhenJackwasby,Ihadnochanceofadmiration.Alltheeyeswereglueduponhim,andhispoordoxyhadtobecontentwithafurtivelookthrownoverastranger"sshoulder.AtBarnetraces,theyearbeforetheysentmeacrossthesea,wewerefollowedbyacrowdthelivelongday;andtrulyJack,inhisbluesatinwaistcoatlacedwithsilver,mighthavebeenapeer.Atanyrate,hehadnothisequalonthecourse,anditissmallwonderthatneverforamomentwerewelefttoourselves.

`Buthappinessdoesnotlastforever;onlytoooftenweweregravelledforlackofmoney,andJack,findinghispurseempty,coulddonaughtelsethanhireahackneyandtaketotheroadagain,whileIusedtolieawakelisteningtothewatchman"sraucousvoice,andprayingGodtosendbackmywarriorrichandscatheless.Sotimesgrewmoreandmoredifficult.Jackwouldstayawholenightupontheheath,andcomehomewithanemptypocketorabeggarlyhalfcrown.Andtherewasnothing,afterashabbycoatthathehatedhalfsomuchasasheriff"sofficer.``Learnalessoninpoliteness,""hesaidtooneofthewretcheswhodraggedhimofftotheMarshalsea.``WhenSirJohnFielding"speoplecomeaftermetheyusemegenteelly;theyonlyholdupafinger,beckonme,andIfollowasquietlyasalamb.

Butyoublusterandinsult,asthoughyouhadneverdealingswithgentlemen.""PoorJack,hewasofaproudstomach,andcouldnotabideinterference;yettheywouldneverlethimgofree.Andhewouldhavebeensohappyhadhebeenallowedhisownway.Topulloutarustypistolnowandagain,andtotakeapursefromatraveller——surelythesewereinnocentpleasures,andhenevermeanttohurtafellow-creature.Butforallhiskindnessofheart,forallhisloveofsplendourandfineclothes,theytookhimatlast.

`Andthistime,too,itwasawatchwhichwasourruin.HowoftendidIwarnhim:``Jack,""Iwouldsay,``takeallthemoneyyoucan.Guineastellnotale.Butleavethewatchesintheirowners"fobs.""Alas!hedidnotheedmywords,andthelastmanheeverstoppedontheroadwasthatpompousrascal,Dr.

Bell,thenchaplaintothePrincessAmelia.``Givemeyourmoney,""screamedJack,``andtakenonoticeorI"llblowyourbrainsout.""Andthedoctorgavehimallthathehad,themean-

spiriteddevil-dodger,anditwasnomorethaneighteenpence.

Nowwhatshouldamanofcouragedowitheighteenpence?SopoorJackwasforcedtoseizetheparson"swatchandtrinketsaswell,andthusitwasthatasecondtimewefacedtheBlindBeak.

WhenJackbroughthomethewatch,Iwasseizedwithashudderingpresentiment,andIwouldhavegiventheworldtothrowitoutofthewindow.ButIcouldnotbeartoseehimpinchedwithhunger,andhehadalreadytossedthedoctor"seighteenpencetoabeggarwoman.SoItrudgedofftothepawnbroker"s,togetwhatpriceI

could,andIbethoughtmethatnonewouldknowmeforwhatIwassofarawayasOxfordStreet.Butthemonsterbehindthecounterhadaquicksuspicion,thoughIswearIlookedasinnocentasababe;hediscoveredtheownerofthewatch,andinfamouslyfollowedmetomyhouse.

`Thenextdaywewerebotharrested,andoncemorewestoodinthehot,stiflingCourtoftheOldBailey.Jackwasradiantasever,theonespotofcolourandgaietyinthatclose,soddenatmosphere.WhenweweretakenfromBowStreetathousandpeopleformedourguardofhonour,andforamonthwewerethetwinwondersofLondon.Thelightestword,thefleetestsmileoftherenownedhighwayman,threwtheworldintoafitofexcitement,andaglimpseofRannwasworthaking"sransom.Icouldlookuponhimalldayfornothing!AndIknewwhatafeveroffearthrobbedbehindhismaskofhappycontempt.Yetbravelyheplayedthepartuntotheveryend.IfthetoastsofLondonweredeterminedtogazeathim,heassuredthemtheyshouldhaveapropersalvefortheireyes.Sohedressedhimselfasalight-heartedsportsman.Hiscoatandwaistcoatwereofpea-

greencloth;hisbuckskinbreecheswerespotlesslynew,andalltrickedoutwiththefamousstrings;hishatwasboundroundwithsilvercords;andeventheushersoftheCourtweretouchedtocourtesy.Hewouldwhispertome,aswestoodinthedock,``Cheerup,mygirl.IhaveorderedthebestsupperthatCoventGardencanprovide,andwewillmakemerryto-nightwhenthisfoolisholdjudgehasdonehisduty.""Thesupperwasnevereaten.Throughthewearyafternoonwewaitedforacquittal.Theautumnsunsankinhopelessgloom.Thewretchedlampstwinkledthroughthejadedairofthecourt-house.InanhourIlivedathousandyearsofmisery,andwhenthesentencewasread,thewordscarriednosensetomywitheredbrain.ItwasonlyinmycellIrealisedthatIhadseenJackRannforthelasttime;thathispea-greencoatwouldproveafinalandineffaceablememory.

`Alas!I,whohadneverbeenmarried,wasalreadyahempenwidow;

butIwastoohopelesslyheartbrokenformylover"sfatetothinkofmyownpaltryhardship.Ineversawhimagain.TheytoldmethathesufferedatTyburnlikeaman,andthathecounteduponarescuetotheveryend.Theytoldme(stillbitterernewstohear)thattwodaysbeforehisdeathheentertainedsevenwomenatsupper,andwasinthewildesthumour.Thisalmostbrokemyheart;itwasaninfidelitycommittedontheothersideofthegrave.But,poorJack,hewasagoodlad,andlovedmemorethanthemall,thoughhenevercouldbefaithfultome."Andthus,biddingthedrawerbringfreshglasses,EllenRoachwouldendherstory.Thoughshehadtolditahundredtimes,atthelastwordsatearalwayssparkledinhereye.Shelivedwithoutfriendandwithoutlover,faithfultothememoryofSixteen-

StringJack,whoforherwastheonlyrealityintheworldofshades.Hermiddle-agewasasdistantasheryouth.Thedressmaker"sinOxfordStreetwasasvagueadreamastheinhospitableshoreofBotanyBay.Soshewaitedontoawearyeld,proudofthe`GreenPig"s"well-orderedcomfort,prouderstillthatfortwoyearsshesharedthegloryofJackRann,andthatshedidnotdesertherhero,eveninhispunishment.

III

APARALLEL

(GILDEROYANDSIXTEEN-

STRINGJACK)

APARALLEL

(GILDEROYANDSIXTEEN-STRINGJACK)

THEIRclosestparallelisthenotorietywhichdoggedthemfromtheverydayoftheirdeath.Each,forhisownexploits,wasthemostfamousmanofhistime,thefavouriteofbroadsides,theprimeherooftheballad-mongers.Andeachowedhisfameasmuchtogoodfortuneastomerit,sincebothwereexcelledintheirgenerationbymoreskilfulscoundrels.IfGilderoywasunsurpassedinbrutality,hefellimmeasurablybelowHindinartistryandwit,normayhebecomparedtosuchaccomplishedhighwaymenasMullSackortheGoldenFarmer.Hismethodwasnotelevatedbyatouchofthegrandstyle.Hestampedalltherulesoftheroadbeneathhiscontemptuousfoot,andcarednotwhatenormityhecommittedinhisquestforgold.Yet,thoughhelivedinthetrueAugustanage,heyieldedtonooneofhisrivalsingloriousrecognition.So,too,JackRann,oftheSixteenStrings,wasanearcontemporaryofGeorgeBarrington.

Whilethatnimble-fingeredprigwasmakingabrilliantappearanceatVauxhall,andemptyingthepocketsofhisintimates,RannwasridingoverHounslowHeath,andflashinghispistolintheeyeofthewayfarer.TheveryyearinwhichJackdancedhislastjigatTyburn,BarringtonhadastonishedLondonbyafruitlessattempttostealPrinceOrloff"smiraculoussnuff-

box.AndnotevenEllenRoachherselfwouldhavedaredtoassertthatRannwasBarrington"sequalinsleightofhand.ButRannholdshisownagainstthebestofhiscraft,withanimperishablename,whileahostofmoredistinguishedcracksmenareexcludedevenfromtheNewgateCalendar.

Intruth,thereisonequalitywhichhasnaughttodowithartisticsupremacy;andinthisqualitybothRannandGilderoywererichbeyondtheirfellows.Theyknew(nonebetter)howtoimposeupontheworld.Hadtheirdesertsbeenevenlessthantheywere,theywouldstillhavebeenbravelynotorious.Itisacommonsuperstitionthatthetalentforadvertisementhasbutatransitoryeffect,thattimesetsallmenintheirproperplaces.

Nothingcanbemorefalse;forhewhohasoncedeclaredhimselfamongthegreatonesoftheearth,notonlyholdshispositionwhilehelives,butforcesanunreasoningadmirationuponthefuture.Thoughhedeclinesfromtheloftythrone,whereonhisownvanityandloveofpraisehavesethim,hestillstandsabovethemodestlevelwhichcontentsthegenuinelygreat.WhydoesEuripidesstillthrowashadowupontheworthierpoetsofhistime?Becausehehadthefacultyofdisplacement,becausehecouldcompeltheworldtoprofessaninterestnotonlyinhisworkbutinhimself.WhyisMichaelAngeloaloftierfigureinthehistoryofartthanDonatello,thesupremesculptorofhistime?BecauseDonatellohadnotthetemperwhichwouldbullyahundredpopes,andextractamagnificentadvertisementfromeachencounter.WhydoesShelleystillclaimalargershareoftheworld"sadmirationthanKeats,hisindubitablesuperior?BecauseShelleywasblessedorcursedwiththetrickofinterestingtheworldbytheaccidentsofhislife.

SobyasimilarfacultyGilderoyandJackRannhavekeptthemselvesandtheirachievementsinthelightofday.Hadtheylivedinthenineteenthcenturytheymighthavebeenthevendorsofpatentpills,orthechairmenofbubblecompanies.Whatevertradetheyhadfollowed,theirnameswouldhavebeenoneveryhoarding,theirwareswouldhavebeenpuffedineveryjournal.

Theyunderstoodtheartofpublicitybetterthananyoftheircontemporaries,andtheyarerememberednotbecausetheywerethebestthievesoftheirtime,butbecausetheyweredeterminedtointerestthepeopleintheirmisdeeds.Gilderoy"sbrutality,whichwasalwaystheatrical,ensuredaconstantremembrance,andtheloftygallowsaddedtohisrepute;whilethebrilliantinspirationofthestrings,whichdecoratedRann"sbreeches,wassufficienttoconquerdeath.HowshouldaherosinktooblivionwhohadchosenforhimselfsosplendidanameasSixteen-

StringJack?

Sofar,then,theirachievementisparallel.Andparallelalsoistheirtasteformelodrama.Eachemployedmeanstoogreatortooviolentfortheendinview.Gilderoyburnthousesandravishedwomen,whenhissoleobjectwastheacquisitionofmoney.Sixteen-StringJackterrifiedBagniggeWellswiththedreadfulannouncementthathewasahighwayman,whenhiskindly,stupidheartwouldhaveshrunkfromthesheddingofadropofblood.Sotheybothblusteredthroughtheworld,theoneindeed,theotherinword;andbothplayedtheirpartswithsolittlerefinementthattheyfrightenedthegroundlingstoatimidadmiration.Heretheresemblanceisatanend.IntheessentialsoftheirtradeGilderoywasaprofessional,Rannamereamateur.Theybothbullied;but,whileSixteen-StringJackwascontenttoshoutthreats,andpickuphalf-a-crown,Gilderoybreathedmurder,anddemandedavastransom.Onlyonceinhiscareerdidthe`disgracefulScotsman"becomegayanddebonair.

Onlyoncedidherelaxthetensionofhisfrown,andpickpocketswiththelightnessandfreedomofagentleman.ItwasonhisvoyagetoFrancethatheforgothisoldpolicyofarsonandpillage,andtrulytheCourtoftheGreatKingwasnottheplaceforhisrapaciouscruelty.JackRann,ontheotherhand,wouldhavetakenlifeasaprolongedjest,ifSirJohnFieldingandthesheriffshadnotcheckedhismirth.Hewasbutabunglerontheroad,withnomoreresourcethanhemighthavelearnedfromthecommonchap-book,orfromthedyingspeeches,hawkedinNewgateStreet.Buthehadafinetalentformerriment;helovednothingsowellasasmartcoatandaprettywoman.Thievingwasnopassionwithhim,butanecessity.HowcouldhedanceatamasqueradeorcourthisEllenwithanemptypocket?Sohetooktotheroadasthesoleprofessionofanidleman,andhebulliedhiswayfromHounslowtoEppinginsheerlightnessofheart.

Afterall,torobDr.Bellofeighteenpencewastheworkofasimpleton.Itwasaveryprettytastewhichexpresseditselfinapea-greencoatanddeathlessstrings;andRannwillkeepposterity"srespectratherfortheaccessoriesofhisartthanfortheartitself.Ontheotherhand,youcannotimagineGilderoyhabitedotherwisethaninblack;youcannotimaginethismonstrousmatricidetakingpleasureinthesmallereleganciesoflife.Fromfirsttolasthewasthesternandbeetle-browedmarauder,whowouldhavedespisedthefripperyofSixteen-StringJackasvehementlyashissuddenappearancewouldhavefrightenedthefoppishloverofEllenRoach.

Theirconductwithwomenissufficientindexoftheircharacter.

JackRannwastoogeneralaloverforfidelity.Buthewasamiable,eveninhisunfaithfulness;hewontheundyingaffectionofhisEllen;heneverstoodinthedockwithoutanosegaytiedupbyfairandnimblefingers;hewasattendedtoTyburnbyabevyofdistinguishedadmirers.Gilderoy,ontheotherhand,approachedwomeninaspiritofviolence.HisSadictemperdrovehimtokillthosewhomheaffectedtolove.Andhiscrueltywasamplyrepaid.WhileEllenRoachperjuredherselftosavethelover,towhosememorysheprofessedalifelongloyalty,itwasPegCunninghamwhowreakedhervengeanceinthebetrayalofGilderoy.Heremainedtruetohischaracter,whenherippedupthebellyofhisbetrayer.Thiswastheclosingactofhislife.

Rann,also,wasconsistent,eventothegallows.Thenightbeforehisdeathheentertainedsevenwomenatsupper,andoutlaughedthemall.Thecontrastisnotsoviolentasitappears.Theoneactismelodrama,theotherfarce.Andwhatisfarce,butmelodramainahappiershape?

THOMASPURENEY

THOMASPURENEY,ArchbishopamongOrdinaries,livedandpreachedintheheydayofNewgate.HiswasthegoodfortunetowitnessSheppard"sencounterwiththetopsman,andtoshrivethebatteredsoulofJonathanWild.Nordidhefalloneinchbelowhisopportunity.DesignedbyProvidencetoadministerafinalconsolationtotheevil-doer,hepermittednofalseambitiontodistracthistalent.Assomemenarebornforthegallows,sohewasborntothumpthecushionofaprisonpulpit;andhispeculiaraptitudewasrevealedtohimbeforehehadtimetospendhisstrengthinmistakenendeavour.

Forthirtyyearshissquat,stoutfigurewasamiablyfamiliartoallsuchasenjoyedtheLibertiesoftheJug.Forthirtyyearshismottlednoseandtherubicundityofhischeeksweretheineffaceableensignsofhisintemperance.Yettherewasagrimyhumourinhisforbiddingaspect.Thefustyblackcoat,whichsatilluponhisshamblingframe,wasallbesmirchedwithspilledsnuff,andtheleesofathousandquartpots.Thebandsofhisprofessionwereeverawryuponatatteredshirt.Hisancientwigscattereddustandpowderashewent,whileasinglebuckleofsometawdrymetalgavealookofodditytohisclumsy,slipshodfeet.Acaricatureofaman,heambledandchuckledandseizedtheeasypleasureswithinhisreach.Therewasneverasummer"sdaybuthecaughtuponhisbrowthefewfaintgleamsofsunlightthatpenetratedthegloomyyard.Hourafterhourhewouldsit,hisshortfingershardlylinkedacrosshisbelly,drinkinghiscupofale,andpuffingatahalf-extinguishedtobacco-pipe.Meanwhilehewouldreflectuponthosetriumphsoforatorywhichwerehissupremedelight.IfitfellonaMondaythathetooktheair,asmileofsatisfactionlituphisfat,loosefeatures,forstillheponderedtheeffectofyesterday"smasterpiece.OnSaturdaythegladexpectancyofto-morrowlenthimacertainjoyousdignity.Atothertimeshiseyelackedlustre,hisgesturebuoyancy,unlessindeedhewerecalledupontofollowthecarttoTyburn,ortocomposetheLastDyingSpeechofsomenotoriousmalefactor.

Preachingwasthemasterpassionofhislife.Itwasthepulpitthatreconciledhimtoexilewithinagreatcity,andpersuadedhimtotheenjoymentofroguishcompany.Thosetherewerewhodeemedhiscareerunfortunate;butasenseoffitnessmighthavecheckedtheirpity,anditwasonlyinhishoursofmaudlinconfidencethattheReverendThomasconfessedtodisappointment.

BornofrespectableparentsintheCountyofCambridgeshire,henurturedhisyouthupontheexploitsofJamesHindandtheGoldenFarmer.Hisboyishpleasurewastolieintheditch,whichboundedhisfather"sorchard,studyingthatnowforgottenmasterpiece,`There"snoJestlikeaTrueJest."Thenitwasthathefelt`immortallongingsinhisblood."Hewouldtaketotheroad,soheswore,andholduphisenemieslikeagentleman.

Once,indeed,hewassurprisedbytheclergymanoftheparishinacttoescapefromtherectorywithtwovolumesofsermonsandasilverflagon.Thedivinewasmindedtospeakseriouslytohimconcerningthedreadfulsinofrobbery,andhavingstrengthenedhimwithtextsandgoodcounsel,tosendhimforthunpunished.

`Thievingandcovetousness,"saidtheparson,`mustinevitablybringyoutothegallows.Ifyouwoulddieinyourbed,repentyouofyourevildoing,androbnomore."TheexhortationwasnotlostuponPureney,who,chastenedinspirit,straightlyprevaileduponhisfathertoenterhimapensioneratCorpusChristiCollegeintheUniversityofCambridge,thatatthepropertimehemighttakeorders.

AtCambridgehegatherednomoreknowledgethanwasnecessaryforhisprofession,andwastedsuchhoursasshouldhavebeengiventostudyindrinking,dicing,andevenlessreputablepleasures.

Yetrepentancewasalwayseasy,andheacceptedhisfirstcuracy,atNewmarket,withabraveheartandagoodhopefulness.

Fortunatewasthechoiceofthisearlycure.Hadhebeengentlyguidedattheoutset,whoknowsbuthemighthavelivedouthislifeinrespectableobscurity?ButNewmarketthen,asnow,wasatownofjollityanddissipation,andPureneyyieldedwithoutpersuasiontothepleasuresdeniedhiscloth.Therewaseverafiretoextinguishathisthroat,norcouldheveilhiswantoneyeatthesightofaprettywench.Againandagainthelustofpreachingurgedhimtorepent,yetheslidbackuponhispastgaiety,untilParsonPureneybecameabyword.DismissedfromNewmarketindisgrace,hewanderedthecountryupanddowninsearchofapulpit,butsoinfamousbecamethehabitofhislifethatonlyinprisoncouldhefindanaudiencefitandresponsive.

And,inthenick,thechaplaincyofNewgatefellvacant.Herewastheoccasiontotemperdissipationwithpiety,toindulgethetwofoldambitionofhislife.Whatmatteredit,ifwithintheprisonwallshedippedhisnosemoredeeplyintothepunch-bowlthanbecameadivine?Therascalswouldbutrespecthimthemoreforhisprowess,andknitmorecloselythebondofsympathy.

Besides,afterpreachingandpunchhebestlovedapenitent,andwhereintheworldcouldhefindsorichacropoferringsoulsripeforrepentanceasingaol?Henceforthhemightthreaten,bluster,andcajole.Ifamiabilityprovedfruitlesshewouldputcrueltytothetest,andterrifyhisvictimsbyaspiritedreferencetoHellandtothatBurningLaketheyweresosoontotraverse.Atlast,thoughthe,Ishallbesureofmyeffect,andtheprospectflatteredhisvanity.Intruth,hewonanimmediateandassuredsuccess.Likethecommonfileorcracksman,hefellintothehabitoftheplace,intriguingwithalltheclevernessofapractiseddiplomatist,andsettingonepartyagainsttheotherthathemightindueseasondecidethetrumperydispute.Thetrustedfriendofmanyadistinguishedprigandmurderer,hesointimatelymasteredtheslangandetiquetteoftheJug,thathewasappointedarbiterofallthosenicequestionsofhonourwhichagitatedthemorereputableamongthecross-coves.Butthesewerethediversionsofastrenuousmind,anditwasinthepulpitorintheclosetthattheReverendThomasPureneyrevealedhistruetalent.

Astheruffianhadasenseofdrama,sohewasdeterminedthathiswordsshouldscaldandbitethepenitent.WhenthecondemnedpewwasfullofaSundayhishappinesswascomplete.Nowhisdeepchestwouldhurlsalvoonsalvoofplatitudesagainstthesounding-board;nowhisvoice,loweredtoawhisper,wouldcoaxthehopelessprisonerstopreparetheirsouls.Inaparoxysmoffeignedangerhewouldcrushthecushionwithhisclenchedfist,orleaningoverthepulpitsideasthoughtoapproachthenearertohisvictims,wouldrollacoldandbittereyeuponthem,asofacatwatchingcagedbirds.Onefamousgesturewasirresistible,andheneveremployeditbutsomepoorruffianfellsenselesstothefloor.Hisstumpyfingerswouldfixanooseofairroundsomeimaginedneck,andsodevoutlywasthepantomimestudiedthatyoualmostheardthecreakoftheretreatingcartasthephantomculpritwasturnedoff.Buthisconductinthepulpitwasduetonoferocityoftemperament.Hemerelyexercisedhislegitimatecraft.SolongasNewgatesuppliedhimwithanenforcedaudience,solongwouldhethunderandblusteratthewrongdoeraccordingtolawandthedictatesofhisconscience.

Many,intruth,werehistriumphs,but,ashewouldmutterinhisgarrulousoldage,neverwashesosuccessfulasinthelastexhortationdeliveredtoMatthiasBrinsden.Now,MatthiasBrinsdenincontinentlymurderedhiswifebecausesheharbouredtooeageraloveofthebrandy-shop.Amodelhusband,hehadsparednopainsinhercorrection.Hehadfloggedherwithoutmercyandwithoutresult.Hisonedesignwastomakehiswifeobeyhim,which,astheScripturessay,allwivesshoulddo.Butthelustofbrandyovercamewifelyobedience,andBrinsden,hopingforthebest,wasconstrainedtocutaholeinherskull.

Thenextdayshewasasimpudentasever,untilMatthiasroseyetmorefiercelyinhiswrath,andtheshrewperished.ThenwasThomasPureney"sopportunity,andtheSundayfollowingthemiscreant"scondemnationhedelivereduntohimandseventeenothermalefactorsthemovingdiscoursewhichherefollows:

`Weshalltakeourtext,"gruffedtheOrdinary`FromoutthePsalms:``Bloodthirstyanddeceitfulmenshallnotliveouthalftheirdays.""Andfirstly,weshallexpoundtoyoutheheinoussinofmurder,whichisunlawful(1)accordingtotheNaturalLaws,(2)accordingtotheJewishLaw,(3)accordingtotheChristianLaw,proportionablystronger.ByNature"tisunlawfulas"tisinjuringSociety:as"tisrobbingGodofwhatisHisRightandProperty;as"tisdeprivingtheSlainofthesatisfactionofEating,Drinking,Talking,andtheLightoftheSun,whichitishisrighttoenjoy.Andespecially"tisunlawful,asitissendingaSoulnakedandunpreparedtoappearbeforeawrathfulandavengingDeitywithouttimetomakehisSoulcomposedlyortolistentothethoughtfulministrationsofone(likeourselves)soundlyversedinDivinity.BytheJewishLaw"tisforbidden,forisitnotwritten(Gen.ix.6):

``WhosoeversheddethMan"sBlood,byManhisBloodshallbeshed""?AndifanEyebegivenforanEye,aToothforaTooth,howshalltheMurdererescapewithhisdishonouredLife?"TisfurtherforbiddenbytheChristianLaw(proportionablystronger).

Butonthisheadwewouldspeaknoword,forwerenotyouall,O

miserableSinners,bornnotintheDarknessofHeathendom,butintheburningLightofChristianEngland?