第2章
IftheScoundrelmayclaimdistinctiononmanygrounds,hischaracterissingularlyuniform.Totheanthropologisthemightwellappearthesurvivalofasavagerace,andsavagealsoarehismanifoldsuperstitions.Heisacreatureoftimesandseasons.Hechoosestheoccasionofhisdeedswithasscrupulousacareasheexamineshisformidablecrowbarsandjemmies.Atcertainhourshewouldrefrainfromaction,thougheverycircumstancefavouredhissuccess:hewouldratherobeytherestrainingvoiceofawise,unreasoningwizardry,thanfillhispocketswiththegoldforwhichhishumansouliseverhungry.
Thereisnolawofmanhedaresnotbreakbutheshrinksinhorrorfromtheinfringementoftheunwrittenrulesofsavagery.
Thoughhemightcutathroatinself-defence,hewouldneverwalkunderaladder;andifthe13thfellonaFriday,hewouldstarvethatdayratherthanobtainaloafbythemethodhebestunderstands.Heconsultstheomenswithaspatientadivinationastheaugursofold;andsolongashecarriesanamuletinhispocket,thoughitbebutapebbleorapolishednut,heisfilledwithanirresistiblecourage.Forhimtheworstterrorofallistheevileye,andhewouldratherbehangedbyanunsuspectedjudgethanreceiveaneasystretchfromonewhoseglancehedarednotface.Andwhiletheanthropologistclaimshimforasavage,whosecivilisationhasbeenarrestedatbrotherhoodwiththeSolomonIslanders,thepoliticianmightpronouncehimatruecommunist,inthathehaspreservedawholesomecontemptofpropertyandciviclife.Thepedant,again,wouldfeelhisbumps,prescribeagentlecourseofbromide,andhopetocureallthesinsoftheworldbyamunicipalTurkishbath.Thewiseman,respectinghissuperstitions,iscontenttotakehimashefindshim,andtodeducehischaracterfromhisverycandidhistory,whichisunaffectedbypedantorpolitician.
Beforeallthings,heissanguine;hebelievesthatChance,thegreatgodofhisendeavour,fightsuponhisside.Whateverislackingto-day,to-morrow"senterprisewillfulfil,andifonlytheomensbefavourable,hefearsneitherdetectionnorthegallows.Hiscourageproceedsfromthissanguinetemperament,strengthenedbyshameandtraditionratherthanfromaself-
controlledmagnanimity;hehopesuntildespairisinevitable,andthenwalksfirmlytothegallows,thatnocomrademaysuspectthewhitefeather.Hisambition,too,istheambitionofthesavageorofthechild;hedespisessuchimmaterialadvantagesaspowerandinfluence,beingperfectlycontentifhehaveasmartcoatonhisbackandabottleofwineathiselbow.
Hewouldratherpickalockthanbatteraconstitution,andtheworldwouldbewelllost,ifheandhisdoxymightsurveytheruinincomfort.
Butifhisambitionbemodest,hisloveofnotorietyisboundless.Hemustbefamous,hisnamemustbeinthemouthsofmen,hemustbeimmortal(foraweek)inaroughwoodcut.Andthen,whatmattersithowsoontheend?Hisbraverieshavebeenhawkedinthestreet;hisprowesshassoldaSpecialEdition;heisthefirstofhisrace,untilaluckierrivaleclipseshim.
Thus,also,hisdandyismisinevitable:itisnotenoughforhimtocoverhisnakedness——hemustdress;andthoughhistasteissometimesunbridled,itisneverinsignificant.Indeed,hisbiographershaverecordedtheexpressionofhisfancyincoatsandsmall-clothesaspatientlyandenthusiasticallyastheyhaveapplaudedhiscourage.Andtrulytheloveofmagnificence,whichheshareswithallartists,issincereandcharacteristic.WhenanaccompliceofJonathanWild"srobbedLadyM——natWindsor,hisequipagecosthimfortypounds;andNanHerefordwasarrestedforshopliftingattheverymomentthatfourfootmenawaitedherreturnwithanelegantsedan-chair.
Hisvanitymakeshimbutaprudishlover,whodesirestowoolessthantobewooed;andatalltimesandthroughallmoodsheremainstheprimevalsentimentalist.Hewilldetachhislifeentirelyfromthecatchwordswhichpretendtogovernhisactions;
hewillsitandcroonthemostheartrendingdittiesincelebrationofhome-lifeandamother"slove,andthensetforthincontinentlyuponawell-plannederrandofplunder.Forallhisartistry,helacksbalanceasflagrantlyasapopularpoliticianoranadvancedjournalist.Thereforeitisthemoreremarkablethatinonepointhedisplaysacertaincaution:hebogglesatasuperfluousmurder.Forallhiscontemptofproperty,hestillpreservesarespectforlife,andtheleastsuspicionofunnecessarybrutalitysetsnotonlythelawbuthisownfellowsagainsthim.LikeallmenwhosegodisOpportunity,heisarecklessgambler;and,likeallgamblers,heismonstrouslyextravagant.Inbrief,heisatangleofpicturesquequalities,which,untilourowngeneration,wasincapableofnothingsavedulness.
TheBibleandtheNewgateCalendar——thesetwainwereGeorgeBorrow"sfavouritereading,andallsavethepsychologistandthepedantwillapplaudthepreference.Fortheannalsofthe`family"aredistinguishedbyanepicseverity,afearlessdirectnessofspeech,whichyouwillhardlymatchoutsidetheIliadortheChroniclesoftheKings.ButtheNewgateCalendardidnotspringready-madeintobeing:itistheresultofacuriousandgradualdevelopment.Thechap-bookscamefirst,withtheirboldtype,theircoarsepaper,andtheirclumsy,characteristicwoodcuts——thechap-books,whichnonecancontemplatewithoutanenchantedsentiment.Hereatlastyoucomeuponaliterature,whichhasbeenreadtopieces.Theveryrarityoftheslim,roughvolumes,provesthattheyhavebeenhandedfromonegreedyreadertoanother,untilthegreatlibrariesalonearerichenoughtoharbourthem.Theydonotboastthecarefuleleganceofafamouspress:manyofthemcamefromtheprinting-officeofacountrytown:yettheleasthasasimplicityandconcision,whichareunknowninthisageofpopularfiction.Eventheirlackofinventionisadmirable:asthesamewoodcutmightbeusedtorepresentGuy,EarlofWarwick,orthelasthighwaymanwhosufferedatTyburn,sothesameenterpriseisascribedwithadelightfulingenuousnesstoalltheheroeswhorodeabroadunderthestarstofilltheirpockets.
TheLifeandDeathofGamalielRatseydelightedEnglandin1605,andwastheexampleofafterages.Theanecdoteoftheroadwasalreadycrystallised,andhenceforththerobberwasunabletoactcontrarytothewillofthechap-book.Thustheregrewupafolk-loreofthievery:theveryinsistenceuponthesamemotivesuggeststhefairytale,and,asinthelegendsofeverycountry,thereisanidenticalelementwhichtheanthropologistscall`human";sointheannalsofadventurethereisasetofinvariableincidents,whicharetheessenceofthievery.Theindustrioushacks,towhomweowetheentertainmentofthechap-books,beingseedyparsonsorlawyers"
clerks,wereconsciousoftheirliterarydeficiencies:theypreferredtoobeytraditionratherthantoinventineptitudes.
Soyoumaytracethesamejest,thesameintriguethroughtheunnumberedlivesofthreecenturies.Andif,beingaphilosopher,youneglecttheobviousplagiarism,youmayinducefromthesesimilaritiesacunningtheoryconcerningtheuniformityofthehumanbrain.Buttheeasierexplanationis,asalways,themoresatisfactory;andthereislittledoubtthatinversatilitythethiefsurpassedhishistorian.
Hadthechap-booksstillbeenscatteredindisregardedcorners,theywouldhavebeenunknownormisunderstood.Happily,amanofgeniuscameinthenicktoconvertthemintoasvividandsparklingapieceofliteratureasthetimecouldshow.ThiswasCaptainAlexanderSmith,whoseLivesoftheHighwaymen,publishedin1719,wasproperlydescribedbyitsauthoras`thefirstimpartialpieceofthisnaturewhicheverappearedinEnglish."Now,CaptainSmithinheritedfromanamelessfathernootherpatrimonythanafierceloyaltytotheStuarts,andthesanguinetemperamentwhichviewsinhorrorawell-orderedlife.
Thoughamerefoundling,hemanagedtoacquiretherudiments,andhewasnotwhollyunletteredwhenateighteenhetooktotheroad.Hiscourage,fortifiedbyanintimateknowledgeofthegreattradition,wasrewardedbyanimmediatesuccess,andherapidlybecamethemasterofsomuchleisureasenabledhimtopursuehisstudieswithpleasureanddistinction.Whenhiscompanionsdamnedhimforamilksop,hewasloftilycontemptuous,consciousthatitwasnotinintelligencealonethathewastheirsuperior.WhiletheStuartswerethegodsofhisidolatry,whiletheRegicideswerethefiendsofhisfrankabhorrence,itwasfromtheElizabethansthathecaughtthesplendidvigourofhisstyle;andheowednotonlyhishistoricalsense,buthislivingEnglishtotheexampleofPhilemonHolland.Moreover,itistohisconstantglorythat,livingatatimethatpreferredaswelltoattenuatetheEnglishtongueastodegradetheprofessionofthehighway,henotonlyrodeabroadwithafearlesscourtesy,buthandledhisownlanguagewiththeforceandspiritofanearlierage.
Hewrotewiththeauthorityofcourageandexperience.A
hazardouscareerhaddrivenenvyandmalicefromhisdauntlessbreast.Thoughheconfessesadebttocertain`learnedandeminentdivinesoftheChurchofEngland,"heowedagreaterdebttohisownobservation,andheknew——nonebetter——howtorecognisewithenthusiasmthosedeedsofdaringwhichonlyhimselfhasrivalled.Amasterofetiquette,hedistributedapprovalandcensurewithimpartialhand;andhewasquicktocondemnthesmallestinfractionofanancientlaw.Norwasheinsensibletothedignityofhistory.Thebestmodelswerealwaysbeforehim.WithadmirablezealhestudiedthemannerofsuchmastersasThucydidesandTitusLiviusofPadua.Aboveall,herealisedtheimportanceofsettingappropriatespeechesinthemouthsofhischaracters;and,permittinghisheroestospeakforthemselves,heimpartedtohisworkanirresistibleairofrealityandgoodfaith.Hisstyle,alwaysstudied,wasneithertoolownortoohighforhissubject.Anill-balancedsentencewasashatefultohimasafoulthrustorastolenadvantage.
Abroadacraftsman,hecarriedintotheclosettheskillandenergywhichdistinguishedhimwhenthemoonwasontheheath.
Thoughnotborntotheartsofpeace,hewasdeterminedtoprovehisrespectforletters,andhismasterpieceisnolesspompousinmannerthanitisestimableintoneandsoundinreflection.
Hehandledslangasonewhoknewitslimitsandpossibilities,employingitnotforthesakeofeccentricity,buttogivethepropercolourandsparkletohispage;indeed,hisintimateacquaintancewiththevagabondsofspeechenabledhimtocompileadictionaryofPedlar"sFrench,whichhasbeenpilferedbyawholebattalionofimitators.Moreover,therewasnoneoftheproverbsofthepavement,thosefirstcousinsofslang,thatescapedhim;andheassumedallthelicenceofthegentleman-
collectorinthetreatmentofhislove-passages.
CaptainSmithtookthejustestviewofhissubject.
Forhimrobbery,inthestreetasonthehighway,wasthefinestofthearts,andhealwaysrevereditforitsownsakeratherthanforvulgarprofit.Though,todeceivethepublic,heabhorredvillainyinword,heneverconcealedhisadmirationindeedofa`highwaymanwhorobslikeagentleman."
`Thereisabeautyinalltheworksofnature,"heobservesinoneofhiswittiestexordia,`whichweareunabletodefine,thoughalltheworldisconvincedofitsexistence:soineveryactionandstationoflifethereisagracetobeattained,whichwillmakeamanpleasingtoallabouthimandsereneinhisownmind."Somethereare,hecontinues,whohaveplaced`thisbeautyinviceitself;otherwiseitishardlyprobablethattheycouldcommitsomanyirregularitieswithastronggustandanappearanceofsatisfaction."Notwithstandingthattheword`vice"isusedinitsconventionalsense,wehaveherethekeytoCaptainSmith"sposition.Hejudgedhisheroes"achievementswiththeintelligentimpartialityofaconnoisseur,andhepermittednootherprejudicethananunfailingloyaltytointerrupthisopinion.
ThoughhelovedgoodEnglishashelovedgoodwine,hewasneversohappyaswhen(inimagination)hewastyingthelegsofaRegicideunderthebellyofanass.Andwheninthemannerofabookseller"shackhecompiledaComicalandTragicalHistoryoftheLivesandAdventuresofthemostnotedBayliffs,adorationoftheRoyalistspersuadedhimtomisshischance.Sobraveaspiritashimselfshouldnothavelookedcomplacentlyupontheofficersofthelaw,buthesawintheglorificationofthebayliffanotherchanceofcastigatingtheRoundheads,andthushesetanhonorificcrownuponthebrowofman"snaturalenemy.`Theseunsanctifiedrascals,"wrotehe,`wouldrunintoanyman"sdebtwithoutpayinghim,andiftheircreditorswereCavalierstheythoughttheyhadasmuchrighttocheat"em,astheIsraeliteshadtospoiltheEgyptiansoftheirear-ringsandjewels."Alas!thebootwaseverontheotherleg;andyetyoucannotbutadmiretheCaptain"svaliantdeterminationtosacrificeprobabilitytohislegitimatehate.
Ofhisdecliningyearsanddeaththereisnorecord.Onelikestothinkofhimreleasedfromcare,andsurroundedbybooks,flowers,andthegoodthingsofthisearth.Nowandagain,maybe,hewouldmuseonthestirringdeedsofhisyouth,andmoreoftenhewouldputawaythememoryofactiontodelightinthemasterpiecewhichmadehimimmortal.Hewouldrecallwithpleasure,nodoubt,thereadypraiseofRichardSteele,hismostappreciativecritic,andsmilecontemptuouslyatthebasenessofhisfriendandsuccessor,CaptainCharlesJohnson.Now,thisingeniouswriterwaswonttoboast,whenthealeofFleetStreethadempurpledhisnose,thathewasthemostintrepidhighwaymanofthemall.`Onceuponatime,"hewouldshout,withanarrogantgesture,`IwasknownfromBlackheathtoHounslow,fromWaretoShooter"sHill."Andthetruthis,theonly`crime"heevercommittedwasplagiarism.Theself-assumedtitleofCaptainshouldhavedeceivednobody,forthebraggartneverstoleanythingmoredifficultofacquisitionthananotherman"swords.Hepickedbrains,notpockets;hecommittedthegreatersinandrannorisk.HehelpedhimselftotheadmirableinventionsofCaptainSmithwithoutapologyoracknowledgment,and,asthoughtolightenthedead-weightofhissin,heneverskippedanopportunityofmaligninghisvictim.AgainandagainintheveryacttostealhewilldeclarevaingloriouslythatCaptainSmith"sstoriesare`barefacedinventions."Butdoubtwasnochecktothehabitofplunder,andyouknewthatateveryreproach,expressed(sotosay)inself-defence,hepliedthescissorswiththegreaterenergy.Themostcunningtheftisthetagwhichadornsthetitle-pageofhisbook:
LittlevillainsoftsubmittofateThatgreatonesmayenjoytheworldinstate.
ThushequotesfromGay,andyouapplaudtheaptnessofthequotation,untilyoudiscoverthatalreadyitwasusedbySteeleinhisappreciationoftheheroicSmith!However,Johnsonhashisuses,andthosetowhomthemasterpieceofCaptainAlexanderisinaccessiblewillturnwithpleasuretotheGeneralHistoryofthelivesandadventuresofthemostFamousHighwaymen,Murderers,Street-Robbers,&c.,andwillfeelnoregretthatforoncetheyarereceivingstolengoods.
ThoughJohnsonfellimmeasurablybelowhispredecessorintalent,hemanifestlyexcelledhiminscholarship.AsojournattheUniversityhadsuppliedhimwithafineassortmentofLatintags,andhedelightedtoprovehiseruditionbythecitationoftheChronicles.Hadhepossessedasenseofhumour,hemighthavesmiledattheironyofcommittingatheftuponthehistorianofthieves.Buthewastoovainandtoopompoustosmileathisownweakness,andthushewouldpretendhimselfaventuresomehighwayman,abravewriter,andaprofoundscholar.Indeed,sofardidhispridecarryhim,thathewouldhavetheworldbelievehimthesameCharlesJohnson,whowroteTheGentlemanCullyandTheSuccessfulPyrate.Thuswithaboastfulchucklehewouldquote:
Johnson,whonowtosense,nownonsenseleaning,Meansnot,butblundersroundaboutameaningThus,ignoringtheinsult,hewouldplumehimselfafterhisdrunkenfashionthathe,too,wasanenemyofPope.
YetJohnsonhasremainedanexample.Fortheliteratureofscoundrelismisaspersistentinitsformasinitsfolk-lore.
AsHarman"sCaveat,whichfirstsawthelightin1566,servesasamodeltoanunbrokenseriesofsuchbooks,asTheLondonSpy,sofromJohnsoninduecourseweredevelopedtheNewgateCalendar,andthoseinnumerablerecords,whichthelatterhalfoftheEighteenthCenturyfurnishedusforth.ThecelebratedCalendarwasinitsoriginnothingmorethanalistofprisonersprintedinafolioslip.ButthereafteritbecametheMalefactor"sBloodyRegister,whichweknow.Itsplanandpurposeweretoimprovetheoccasion.Thethiefisnolongeresteemedforanartistorappraiseduponhismerits:heistheawfulwarning,whichshallleadthesinnertorepentance.
`Here,"saysthepreface,`thegiddythoughtlessyouthmayseeasinamirrorthefatalconsequencesofdeviatingfromvirtue";
herehemaytrembleatthediscoverythat`oftenthebesttalentsareprostitutedtothebasestpurposes."Butinspiteof`theproperreflectionsofthewholeaffair,"thefamousCalendardeservedthepraiseofBorrow.Thereisadirectnessinthenarration,whichcapturesallthoseforwhomlifeandliteraturearesomethingbetterthanpsychologicformul
Meanwhilethebroadsidehadenjoyedanunbrokenandprosperouscareer.UpanddownLondon,upanddownEngland,hurriedthePattererorFlyingStationer.Therewasnomurder,notheft,noconspiracy,whichdidnottempttheGutterMusetodoggerel.
ButitwasnotuntilJamesCatnachcameupfromAlnwicktoLondon(in1813),thatthetradereachedthetopofitsprosperity.Thevastsheets,whichhepublishedwiththeirscurvycouplets,andtheadmirablepicture,servinginitstimeforahundredexecutions,havenotlosttheirpowertofascinate.Theirsistheaspectoftheearlywoodcut;thecoarsetypeandthecatchpennyheadlinesareaperpetualdelight;asyouunfoldthem,yourcarekeepspacewithyouradmiration;andyoucannotfeelthemcracklebeneathyourhandwithoutenthusiasmandwithoutregret.Hewasnopedant——JemmyCatnach;andtheimageofhisruffianswascommonlyasfarfromportraiture,ashisverseswereremotefrompoetry.Butheputtogetherinaroughlyartisticshapethelastmurder,robbery,orscandaloftheday.Hismasterpieceswerefartoopopulartolive,andiftheyknewsovastacirculationas2,500,000theyarehardindeedtocomeby.
Andnowtheartiswellnighdead;thoughyoumaydiscoveraninfrequentsurvivalinacountrytown.ButhowshouldCatnach,werehealiveto-day,competewiththeSpecialEditionofaneveningprint?
ThedeclineoftheScoundrel,infact,hasbeenfollowedbythedisappearanceofchap-bookandbroadside.TheEducationAct,whichmadethecheapnovelanecessity,destroyedatablowtheliteratureofthestreet.Sincethehighwaymanwandered,fur-
coated,intotheCity,thepattererhaslosthisoccupation.
RobberyandmurderhavedegeneratedintoChinesepuzzles,whosesolutionisapleasantirritanttotheidlebrain.ThemisunderstandingofPoehasproducedavastpolyglotliterature,forwhichonewouldnotgiveinexchangeasinglechapterofCaptainSmith.VautrinandBillSykesarealreadydiscredited,anditisafalsereflectionofM.Dupin,whichdazzlestheeyeofamoralandunimaginativeworld.Yetthewisemansighsforthosefearlessdays,whenthebrilliantMacheathrodevizardeddownShooter"sHill,andpresentlysawhisexploitssetforth,withtheproperaccompanimentofarenownedandancientwoodcut,uponapennybroadside.
CAPTAINHIND
CAPTAINHIND
JAMESHIND,theMasterThiefofEngland,thefearlessCaptainoftheHighway,wasbornatChippingNortonin1618.Hisfather,asimplesaddler,hadsopooranappreciationofhisson"smagnanimity,thatheapprenticedhimtoabutcher;butHind"sdestinywastoembruehishandsinotherthanthebloodofoxen,andhehadnotlongenduredtherestraintofthiscommoncraftwhenfortyshillings,thegiftofhismother,purchasedhimanescape,andcarriedhimtriumphantandambitioustoLondon.
Eveninhisnegligentschooldayshehadfasteneduponafittingcareer.Abornadventurer,hesoughtonlyenterpriseandcommand:ifacommissioninthearmyfailedhim,thenhewouldriskhisneckupontheroad,levyinghisowntaxandimposinghisownconditions.Tooneofhisdauntlessresolutionanopportunityneedneverhavelacked;yetheowedhisfirstprefermenttoahappyaccident.Surprisedoneeveninginadrunkenbrawl,hewashustledintothePoultryCounter,andtheremadeacquaintanceoverafreshbottlewithRobertAllen,oneofthechiefroguesinthePark,andaruffian,whohadmasteredeverytrickinthegameofplunder.Adexterouscly-faker,anintrepidblade,Allenhadalsothekeenesteyeforuntestedtalent,andhedetectedHind"sshiningqualitiesafterthefirstglass.Nosoonerhadtheypaidthepriceofrelease,thanHindwasadmittedofhiscomrade"sgang;hetooktheoathoffealty,andbywayofwinninghisspurswasbidtoholdupatravelleronShooter"sHill.Grantedhischoiceofamount,hestraightwaytookthefinestinthestable,withthatkeenperceptionofhorse-fleshwhichneverdesertedhim,andheconfrontedhisfirstvictimintheliveliestofhumours.Therewasnofalterinhisvoice,nohintofinexperienceinhismanner,whenheshoutedthebattle-cry:`Standanddeliver!"Thehorseman,fearfulofhislife,instantlysurrenderedapurseoftensovereigns,astothemostpractisedassailantontheroad.WhereuponHind,withaflourishofancientcourtesy,gavehimtwentyshillingstobearhischarges.`This,"saidhe,`isforhandsalesake";andthustheypartedinmutualcomplimentandcontent.
Allenwasoverjoyedathisnovice"sprowess.`Didyounotsee,"
hecriedtohiscompanions,`howherobbedhimwithagrace?"
Andwelldidthetrooperdeservehiscaptain"scompliment,forhisartwasperfectfromthefirst.Inbraveryasingallantryheknewnorival,andheplunderedwithsoelegantastyle,thatonlyachurlishvictimcouldresenttheextortion.Hewouldassoonhaveturnedhisbackuponanenemyasdemandapurseuncovered.Foreverymanhehadaquip,foreverywomanacompliment;nordidheeverconcealthetruththatthemeanswereforhimasimportantastheend.Thoughhelovedmoney,hestillinsistedthatitshouldbeyieldedinfreedomandgoodtemper;
andwhileheemptiedmorecoachesthananymaninEngland,hewasneveratalossforadmirers.
UnderAllenheservedabrilliantapprenticeship.Enrolledasaservant,hespeedilysatatthemaster"srighthand,andhisnimblebrainsdevisedmanyaprettycampaign.Forawhilesuccessdoggedthehorse-hoofsofthegang;withwealthcameimmunity,andnotoneofthewarriorshadthemisfortunetolookoutupontheworldthroughagrate.Theyrobbedwithdignity,evenwithsplendour.Nowtheywoulddriveforthinacoachandfour,carryingwiththemawholearmouryofoffensiveweapons;
nowtheywouldtaketheroadapparelledasnoblemen,andattendedatadiscreetdistancebytheirproperservants.Butrecklessnessbroughttheinevitabledisaster;anditwasnolessapersonagethanOliverCromwellwhoovercamethehithertoinvincibleAllen.AhandfulofthegangattackedOliveronhiswayfromHuntingdon,butthemarauderswereoutmatched,andthemostofthemwereforcedtosurrender.Allen,takenred-handed,swungatTyburn;Hind,withhisbettermountanddefterhorsemanship,rodeclearaway.
Thelossofhisfriendwasalessonincaution,andhenceforthHindresolvedtofollowhiscraftinsolitude.Hehadembellishedhisnativetalentwithalltheinstructionthatotherscouldimpart,andhereflectedthathewhorodealoneneitherranriskofdiscoverynorhadanyneedtosharehisbooty.Thushebeganhiseasy,untrammelledcareer,makingtimeandspaceofnoaccountbyhisrapid,fearlessjourneys.NowhewasprancingthemoorsofYorkshire,nowhewasscouringtheplainbetweenGloucesterandTewkesbury,butwhereverherode,hehadapurseinhispocketandajestonhistongue.Torecallhisprowessistoridewithhim(infancy)undertheopenskyalongthefair,beatenroad;toputupwithhimatthebusy,whiteposthouse,todrinkunnumberedpintsofmulledsackwiththeround-belliedlandlord,toexchangeboastfulstoriesoverthehospitablefire,andtorideforthinthemorningwiththejoyousuncertaintyoftraveluponyou.Failurealonelayoutsidehisexperience,andhepresentlybecameatoncetheterrorandtheheroofEngland.
Notonlywashiscourageconspicuous;luckalsowashisconstantcompanion;andahappybewitchmentprotectedhimforthreeyearsagainstthepossibilityofharm.HehadbeenlyingatHatfield,attheGeorgeInn,andsetoutintheearlymorningforLondon.
Ashenearedthetown-gate,anoldbeldamebeggedanalmsofhim,andthoughHind,notlikingherill-favouredvisage,wouldhavespurredforward,thebeldame"sglitteringeyeheldhishorsemotionless.`Goodwoman,"criedHind,flingingheracrown,`Iaminhaste;prayletmepass."`Sir,"answeredthewitch,`threedaysIhaveawaitedyourcoming.Wouldyouhavemelosemylabournow?"AndwithHind"sassentthesphinxdeliveredhermessage:`CaptainHind,"saidshe,`yourlifeisbesetwithconstantdanger,andsincefromyourbirthIhavewishedyouwell,mypoorskillhasdevisedaperfectsafeguard."Withthisshegavehimasmallboxcontainingwhatmighthavebeenasundialorcompass.`Watchthisstar,"quothshe,`andwhenyouknownotyourroad,followitsguidance.Thusyoushallbepreservedfromeveryperilforthespaceofthreeyears.
Thereafter,ifyoustillhavefaithinmydevotion,seekmeagain,andIwillrenewthevirtueofthecharm."
Hindtooktheboxjoyfully;butwhenheturnedtomurmurawordofgratitude,thewitchstruckhisnag"sflankswithawhitewand,thehorseleaptvehementlyforward,andHindsawhisbenefactressnomore.Henceforth,however,awarningvoicespoketohimasplainlyasdidthedemontoSocrates;andhadhebutobeyedthebeldame"sadmonition,hemighthaveescapedaviolentdeath.ForhepassedthelastdayofthethirdyearatthesiegeofYoughal,where;deprivedofhappyguidance,hewasseriouslywounded,andwhencehepresentlyregainedEnglandtohisownundoing.
Solongashekepttotheroad,hislifewasonelongcomedy.
Hiswitandaddresswereinexhaustible,andfortuneneverfoundhimataloss.Hewouldavertsuspicionwiththetuneofapsalm,aswhen,habitedlikeapiousshepherd,hebrokeatraveller"sheadwithhiscrook,anddeprivedhimofhishorse.
Anearlyadventurewastoforceapot-valiantparson,whohaddrunkacuptoomuchatawedding,intoararelyfarcicalsituation.Hind,havingrobbedtwogentlemen"sservantsofaroundsum,wentamblingalongtheroaduntilheencounteredaparson.`Sir,"saidhe,`Iamcloselypursuedbyrobbers.You,Idareswear,willnotstandbyandseemeplundered."Beforetheparsoncouldprotest,hethrustapistolintohishand,andbadehimfireitatthefirstcomer,whileherodeofftoraisethecounty.Meanwhiletherifledtravellerscameupwiththeparson,who,straightway,mistakingthemforthieves,firedwithouteffect,andthen,ridingforward,flungthepistolinthefaceofthenearest.Thustheparsonoftheparishwasdraggedbeforethemagistrate,whileHind,beforehisdupecouldfurnishanexplanation,hadplacedmanyamilebetweenhimselfandhisadversary.
Thoughhecouldonoccasionshowacleanpairofheels,Hindwasneverlackinginvaliance;and,anotherday,meetingatravellerwithahundredpoundsinhispocket,hechallengedhimtofightthereandthen,stakedhisownhorseagainstthemoney,anddeclaredthatheshouldwinwhodrewfirstblood.`IfIamtheconqueror,"saidthemagnanimousCaptain,`Iwillgiveyoutenpoundsforyourjourney.Ifyouarefavouredoffortune,youshallgivemeyourservant"shorse."Thetermswereinstantlyaccepted,andintwominutesHindhadrunhisadversarythroughthesword-arm.ButfindingthathisvictimwasbutapoorsquiregoingtoLondontopayhiscomposition,henotonlyreturnedhismoney,butsoughthimoutasurgeon,andgavehimthebestdinnerthecountrysidecouldafford.
Thusitwashispleasuretoactasaprovidence,manyatimerobbingPetertopayPaul,andstrippingtheniggardthathemightindulgehisferventloveofgenerosity.Ofallusurersandbailiffshehadawholesomehorror,andmerrywastheprankwhichheplayedupontheextortionatemoney-lenderofWarwick.Ridingonaneasyreinthroughthetown,Hindheardatumultatastreetcorner,andinquiringthecause,wastoldthataninnkeeperwasarrestedbyathievishusurerforapaltrytwentypounds.
Dismounting,thisprovidenceinjack-bootsdischargedthedebt,cancelledthebond,andtooktheinnkeeper"sgoodsforhisownsecurity.Andthereuponovertakingtheusurer,`Myfriend!"heexclaimed,`Ilentyoulateasumoftwentypounds.Repayitatonce,orItakeyourmiserablelife."Theusurerwasobligedtoreturnthemoney,withanothertwentyforinterest,andwhenhewouldtakethelawoftheinnkeeper,wasshownthebonddulycancelled,andwasfloggedwellnightodeathforhispains.
SoHindrodetheworldupanddown,redressinggrievanceslikeanEasternmonarch,andrejoicingintheabasementoftheevildoer.
Norwasthespiritofhisadventureboundedbytheocean.
Morethanoncehecrossedtheseas;theHagueknewhim,andAmsterdam,thoughthesesomnolentcitiesgavesmalloccasionforthedisplayofhistalents.ItwasfromScillythathecrossedtotheIsleofMan,where,beingrecommendedtoLordDerby,hegainedhighfavour,andreceivedinexchangeforhisjestsacomfortablestipend.Hitherto,saidtheChronicles,thievingwasunknownintheisland.Amanmightwalkwhitherhewould,abagofgoldinonehand,aswitchintheother,andfearnodanger.
ButnosoonerhadHindappearedatDouglasthanhonestcitizenswerepilferedateveryturn.IndismaytheysoughttheprotectionoftheGovernor,whoinstantlysuspectedHind,andgallantlydisclosedhissuspicionstotheCaptain.`Mylord!"
exclaimedHind,ablushuponhischeek,`Iprotestmyinnocence;
butwillinglywillIsuffertheheaviestpenaltyofyourlawifI
amrecognisedforthethief."Thevictims,confrontedwiththeirrobber,knewhimnot,picturingtotheGovernoramonsterwithlonghairandunkemptbeard.Hind,acquittedwithapologies,fetchedfromhislodgingthedisguiseofperiwigandbeard.
`Theylaughwhowin!"hemurmured,andthusforcedforgivenessandachuckleevenfromhisjudges.
Asbecameagentleman-adventurer,CaptainHindwasstaunchinhisloyaltytohismurderedKing.Tostripthewealthywasalwaysreputable,buttorobaRegicidewasamasterpieceofwell-doing.
AferventzealtolightenCromwell"spockethadbroughttheillustriousAllentothegallows.ButHindwasnotonewhitabashed,andhewouldneverforegothechanceofanencounterwithhiscountry"senemies.HistreatmentofHughPetersinEnfieldChaceisamonghistriumphs.AtthefirstencounterthePresbyterianpluckedupcourageenoughtoopposehisadversarywithtexts.ToHind"scommandof`Standanddeliver!"dulyenforcedwithaloadedpistol,theineffablePetersrepliedwithox-eyesanctimoniouslyupturned:`Thoushaltnotsteal;lethimthatstole,stealnomore,"addingtheretoothervariationsoftheeighthcommandment.Hindimmediatelycounteredwithexhortationsagainsttheawfulsinofmurder,andrebukedtheblasphemyoftheRegicides,who,todefendtheirowninfamy,wouldwrestScripturefromitsmeaning.`Didyounot,Omonsterofimpiety,"mimickedHindinthepreacher"sownvoice,`pervertforyourownadvantagethewordsofthePsalmist,whosaid,``Bindtheirkingswithchains,andtheirnobleswithfettersofiron""?Moreover,wasitnotSolomonwhowrote:``Mendonotdespiseathief,ifhestealtosatisfyhissoulwhenheishungry""?AndisnotmysoulhungryforgoldandtheRegicides"
discomfiture?"Peterswasstillfumblingaftertextswhenthefinalargument:`Deliverthymoney,orIwillsendtheeoutoftheworld!"frightenedhimintosubmission,andthirtybroadpieceswereHind"sreward.
NotlongafterwardsheconfrontedBradshawnearSherborne,and,havingtakenfromhimapursefatwithJacobuses,hebadetheSergeantstanduncoveredwhilehedeliveredadiscourseupongold,thusshapedbytradition:`Ay,marry,sir,thisisthemetalthatwinsmyheartforever!Opreciousgold,IadmireandadoretheeasmuchasBradshaw,Prynne,oranyvillainofthesamestamp.Thisisthatincomparablemedicament,whichtherepublicanphysicianscallthewonder-workingplaster.Itistrulycatholicinoperation,andsomewhatakintotheJesuit"spowder,butmoreeffectual.Thevirtuesofitarestrangeandvarious;itmakesjusticedeafaswellasblind,andtakesoutspotsofthedeepesttreasonmorecleverlythancastle-soapdoescommonstains;italtersaman"sconstitutionintwoorthreedays,morethanthevirtuoso"stransfusionofbloodcandoinsevenyears.`Tisagreatalexiopharmick,andhelpspoisonousprinciplesofrebellion,andthosethatusethem.Itmiraculouslyexaltsandpurifiestheeyesight,andmakestraitorsbeholdnothingbutinnocenceintheblackestmalefactors.`Tisamightycordialforadecliningcause;itstiflesfactionorschism,ascertainlyastheitchisdestroyedbybutterandbrimstone.Inaword,itmakeswisemenfools,andfoolswisemen,andbothknaves.Theverycolourofthispreciousbalmisbrightanddazzling.Ifitbeproperlyappliedtothefist,thatisinadecentmanner,andacompetentdose,itinfalliblyperformsallthecureswhichtheevilsofhumanitycrave."Thushavingspoken,hekilledthesixhorsesofBradshaw"scoach,andwentcontemptuouslyonhisway.
ButhewasnotaCavaliermerelyinsympathy,norwashecontenttoprovehisloyaltybyrobbingRoundheads.He,too,wouldstrikeablowforhisKing,andheshowed,firstwiththeroyalarmyinScotland,andafterwardsatWorcester,whathedaredinarighteouscause.Indeed,itwashispartintheunhappybattlethatcosthimhislife,andthereisastrangeironyinthereflectionthat,ontheself-samedaywhereonSirThomasUrquhartlosthispreciousmanuscriptsinWorcester"skennels,theneckofJamesHindwasmaderipeforthehalter.Hiscapturewasduetotreachery.Towardstheendof1651hewaslodgedwithoneDenzys,abarber,overagainstSt.Dunstan"sChurchinFleetStreet.Maybehehadchosenhishiding-placeforitsneighbourhoodtoMollCutpurse"sownsanctuary.Butapackoftraitorsdiscoveredhim,andhalinghimbeforetheSpeakeroftheHouseofCommons,gothimcommittedforthwithtoNewgate.