第13章

Hehadnaturallyrepressedmuch,andsomerevulsionmighthavebeenexpectedinhimwhentheoccasionforrepressionwasgone.But,itwastheoldscaredlostlookthattroubledMr.Lorry;andthroughhisabsentmannerofclaspinghishead"anddrearilywanderingawayintohisownroomwhentheygotup-stairs,Mr.LorrywasremindedofDefargethewine-shopkeeper,andthestarlightride.

`Ithink,"hewhisperedtoMissPross,afteranxiousconsideration,`Ithinkwehadbestnotspeaktohimjustnow,oratalldisturbhim.ImustlookinatTellson"s;soIwillgothereatonceandcomebackpresently.Then,wewilltakehimarideintothecountry,anddinethere,andallwillbewell."

ItwaseasierforMr.LorrytolookinatTellson"s,thantolookoutofTellson"s.Hewasdetainedtwohours.Whenhecameback,heascendedtheoldstaircasealone,havingaskednoquestionoftheservant;goingthusintotheDoctorsrooms,hewasstoppedbyalowsoundofknocking.

`GoodGod!"hesaid,withastart.`What"sthat?"

MissPross,withaterrifiedface,wasathisear.`Ome,Ome!Allislost!"criedshe,wringingherhands.`WhatistobetoldtoLadybird?Hedoesn"tknowme,andismakingshoes!"

Mr.Lorrysaidwhathecouldtocalmher,andwenthimselfintotheDoctor"sroom.Thebenchwasturnedtowardsthelight,asithadbeenwhenhehadseentheshoemakerathisworkbefore,andhisheadwasbentdown,andhewasverybusy.

`DoctorManette.Mydearfriend,DoctorManette!"

TheDoctorlookedathimforamoment——halfinquiringly,halfasifhewereangryatbeingspokento——andbentoverhisworkagain.

Hehadlaidasidehiscoatandwaistcoat;hisshirtwasopenatthethroat,asitusedtobewhenhedidthatwork;andeventheoldhaggard,fadedsurfaceoffacehadcomebacktohim.Heworkedhard——impatiently——asifinsomesenseofhavingbeeninterrupted.

Mr.Lorryglancedattheworkinhishand,andobservedthatitwasashoeoftheoldsizeandshape.Hetookupanotherthatwaslyingbyhim,andaskedwhatitwas?

`Ayounglady"swalkingshoe,"hemuttered,withoutlookingup"`Itoughttohavebeenfinishedlongago.Letitbe."

`But,DoctorManette.Lookatme"

Heobeyed,intheoldmechanicallysubmissivemanner,withoutpausinginhiswork.

`Youknowme,mydearfriend?Thinkagain.Thisisnotyourproperoccupation.Think,dearfriend!"

Nothingwouldinducehimtospeakmore.Helookedup,foraninstantatatime,whenhewasrequestedtodoso;but,nopersuasionwouldextractawordfromhim.Heworked,andworked,andworked,insilence,andwordsfellonhimastheywouldhavefallenonanecholesswall,orontheair.TheonlyrayofhopethatMr.Lorrycoulddiscover,was,thathesometimesfurtivelylookedupwithoutbeingasked.Inthat,thereseemedafaintexpressionofcuriosityorperplexity——asthoughheweretryingtoreconcilesomedoubtsinhismind.

TwothingsatonceimpressedthemselvesonMr.Lorry,asimportantaboveallothers;thefirst,thatthismustbekeptsecretfromLucie;thesecondthatitmustbekeptsecretfromallwhoknewhim.InconjunctionwithMissPross,hetookimmediatestepstowardsthelatterprecaution,bygivingoutthattheDoctorwasnotwell,andrequiredafewdaysofcompleterest.Inaidofthekinddeceptiontobepractisedonhisdaughter,MissProsswastowrite,describinghishavingbeencalledawayprofessionally,andreferringtoanimaginaryletteroftwoorthreehurriedlinesinhisownhand,representedtohavebeenaddressedtoherbythesamepost.

Thesemeasures,advisabletobetakeninanycase,Mr.Lorrytookinthehopeofhiscomingtohimself.Ifthatshouldhappensoon,hekeptanothercourseinreserve;whichwas,tohaveacertainopinionthathethoughtthebest,ontheDoctor"scase.

Inthehopeofhisrecovery,andofresorttothisthirdcoursebeingtherebyrenderedpracticable,Mr.Lorryresolvedtowatchhimattentively,withaslittleappearanceaspossibleofdoingso.HethereforemadearrangementstoabsenthimselffromTellson"sforthefirsttimeinhislife,andtookhispostbythewindowinthesameroom.

Hewasnotlongindiscoveringthatitwasworsethanuselesstospeaktohim,since,onbeingpressed,hebecameworried.Heabandonedthatattemptonthefirstday,andresolvedmerelytokeephimselfalwaysbeforehim,asasilentprotestagainstthedelusionintowhichhehadfallen,orwasfalling.Heremained,therefore,inhisseatnearthewindow,readingandwriting,andexpressinginasmanypleasantandnaturalwaysashecouldthinkofthatitwasafreeplace.

DoctorManettetookwhatwasgivenhimtoeatanddrink,andworkedon,thatfirstday,untilitwastoodarktosee——workedon,halfanhourafterMr.Lorrycouldnothaveseen,forhislife,toreadorwrite.Whenheputhistoolsasideasuseless,untilmorning,Mr.Lorryroseandsaidtohim:

`Willyougoout?""

Helookeddownattheflooroneithersideofhimintheoldmanner,lookedupintheoldmanner,andrepeatedintheoldlowvoice:

`Out?"

`Yes;forawalkwithme.Whynot?"

Hemadenoefforttosaywhynot,andsaidnotawordmore.But,Mr.Lorrythoughthesaw,asheleanedforwardonhisbenchinthedusk,withhiselbowsonhiskneesandhisheadinhishands,thathewasinsomemistywayaskinghimself`Whynot?"Thesagacityofthemanofbusinessperceivedanadvantagehere,anddeterminedtoholdit.

MissProssandhedividedthenightintotwowatches,andobservedhimatintervalsfromtheadjoiningroom.Hepacedupanddownforalongtimebeforehelaydown;but,whenhedidfinallylayhimselfdown,hefellasleep.Inthemorning,hewasupbetimes,andwentstraighttohisbenchandtowork.

Onthissecondday,Mr.Lorrysalutedhimcheerfullybyhisname,andspoketohimontopicsthathadbeenoflatefamiliartothem.Hereturnednoreply,butitwasevidentthatheheardwhatwassaid,andthathethoughtaboutit,howeverconfusedly.ThisencouragedMr.LorrytohaveMissProssinwithherwork,severaltimesduringtheday;atthosetimes,theyquietlyspokeofLucie,andofherfatherthenpresent,preciselyintheusualmanner,andasiftherewerenothingamiss.Thiswasdonewithoutanydemonstrativeaccompaniment,notlongenough,oroftenenoughtoharasshim;anditlightenedMr.Lorry"sfriendlyhearttobelievethathelookedupoftener,andthatheappearedtobestirredbysomeperceptionofinconsistenciessurroundinghim.

Whenitfelldarkagain,Mr.Lorryaskedhimasbefore:

`DearDoctor,willyougoout?"

Asbefore,herepeated,`Out?"

`Yes;forawalkwithme.Whynot?"

Thistime,Mr.Lorryfeignedtogooutwhenhecouldextractnoanswerfromhim,and,afterremainingabsentforanhour,returned.Inthemeanwhile,theDoctorhadremovedtotheseatinthewindow,andhadsattherelookingdownattheplane-tree;but,onMr.Lorry"sreturn,heslippedawaytohisbench.

Thetimewentveryslowlyon,andMr.Lorry"shopedarkened,andhisheartgrewheavieragain,andgrewyetheavierandheaviereveryday.Thethirddaycameandwent,thefourth,thefifth.Fivedays,sixdays,sevendays,eightdays,ninedays.

Withahopeeverdarkening,andwithaheartalwaysgrowingheavierandheavier,Mr.Lorrypassedthroughthisanxioustime.Thesecretwaswellkept,andLuciewasunconsciousandhappy;buthecouldnotfailtoobservethattheshoemaker,whosehandhadbeenalittleoutatfirst,wasgrowingdreadfullyskilful,andthathehadneverbeensointentonhiswork,andthathishandshadneverbeensonimbleandexpert,asintheduskoftheninthevening.

CHAPTERXIX

AnOpinion

WORNoutbyanxiouswatching,Mr.Lorryfellasleepathispost.Onthetenthmorningofhissuspense,hewasstartledbytheshiningofthesunintotheroomwhereaheavyslumberhadovertakenhimwhenitwasdarknight.

Herubbedhiseyesandrousedhimself;buthedoubted,whenhehaddoneso,whetherhewasnotstillasleep.For,goingtothedooroftheDoctor"sroomandlookingin,heperceivedthattheshoemaker"sbenchandtoolswereputasideagain,andthattheDoctorhimselfsatreadingatthewindow.Hewasinhisusualmorningdress,andhisface(whichMr.Lorrycoulddistinctlysee),thoughstillverypale,wascalmlystudiousandattentive.

Evenwhenhehadsatisfiedhimselfthathewasawake,Mr.Lorryfeltgiddilyuncertainforsomefewmomentswhetherthelateshoemakingmightnotbeadisturbeddreamofhisown;for,didnothiseyesshowhimhisfriendbeforehiminhisaccustomedclothingandaspect,andemployedasusual;andwasthereanysignwithintheirrange,thatthechangeofwhichhehadsostronganimpressionhadactuallyhappened?

Itwasbuttheinquiryofhisfirstconfusionandastonishment,theanswerbeingobvious.Iftheimpressionwerenotproducedbyarealcorrespondingandsufficientcause,howcamehe,JarvisLorry,there?Howcamehetohavefallenasleep,inhisclothes,onthesofainDr.Manette"sconsulting-room,andtobedebatingthesepointsoutsidetheDoctor"sbedroomdoorintheearlymorning?

Withinafewminutes,MissProssstoodwhisperingathisside.Ifhehadhadanyparticleofdoubtleft,hertalkwouldofnecessityhaveresolvedit;buthewasbythattimeclearheaded,andhadnone.Headvisedthattheyshouldletthetimegobyuntiltheregularbreakfast-hour,andshouldthenmeettheDoctorasifnothingunusualhadoccurred.Ifheappearedtobeinhiscustomarystateofmind,Mr.Lorrywouldthencautiouslyproceedtoseekdirectionandguidancefromtheopinionhehadbeen,inhisanxiety,soanxioustoobtain.

MissProsssubmittingherselftohisjudgment,theschemewasworkedoutwithcare.Havingabundanceoftimeforhisusualmethodicaltoilette,Mr.Lorrypresentedhimselfatthebreakfast-hourinhisusualwhitelinen,andwithhisusualneatleg.TheDoctorwassummonedintheusualway,andcametobreakfast.

SofarasitwaspossibletocomprehendhimwithoutoversteppingthosedelicateandgradualapproacheswhichMr.Lorryfelttobetheonlysafeadvance,heatfirstsupposedthathisdaughter"smarriagehadtakenplaceyesterday.Anincidentalallusion,purposelythrownout,tothedayoftheweek,andthedayofthemonth,sethimthinkingandcounting,andevidentlymadehimuneasy.Inallotherrespects,however,hewassocomposedlyhimself,thatMr.Lorrydeterminedtohavetheaidhesought.Andthataidwashisown.

Therefore,whenthebreakfastwasdoneandclearedaway,andheandtheDoctorwerelefttogether,Mr.Lorrysaid,feelingly:

`MydearManette,Iamanxioustohaveyouropinion,inconfidence,onaverycuriouscaseinwhichIamdeeplyinterested;thatistosay,itisverycurioustome;perhaps,toyourbetterinformationitmaybelessso."

Glancingathishands,whichwerediscolouredbyhislatework,theDoctorlookedtroubled,andlistenedattentively.Hehadalreadyglancedathishandsmorethanonce.

`DoctorManette,"saidMr.Lorry,touchinghimaffectionatelyonthearm,`thecaseisthecaseofaparticularlydearfriendofmine.Praygiveyourmindtoit,andadvisemewellforhissake——andaboveall,forhisdaughter"s——hisdaughter"s,mydearManette."

`IfIunderstand,"saidtheDoctor,inasubduedtone,`somementalshock——?"

`Yes!"

`Beexplicit,"saidtheDoctor.`Sparenodetail."

Mr.Lorrysawthattheyunderstoodoneanother,andproceeded.

`MydearManette,itisthecaseofanoldandaprolongedshock,ofgreatacutenessandseveritytotheaffections,thefeelings,the——the——asyouexpressit——themind.Themind.Itisthecaseofashockunderwhichthesuffererwasbornedown,onecannotsayforhowlong,becauseIbelievehecannotcalculatethetimehimself,andtherearenoothermeansofgettingatit.Itisthecaseofashockfromwhichthesuffererrecovered,byaprocessthathecannottracehimself——asIonceheardhimpubliclyrelateinastrikingmanner.Itisthecaseofashockfromwhichhehasrecovered,socompletely,astobeahighlyintelligentman,capableofcloseapplicationofmind,andgreatexertionofbody,andofconstantlymakingfreshadditionstohisstockofknowledge,whichwasalreadyverylarge.But,unfortunately,therehasbeen"——hepausedaddtookadeepbreath——`aslightrelapse."

TheDoctor,inalowvoice,asked,`Ofhowlongduration?"

`Ninedaysandnights."

`Howdiditshowitself?Iinfer,"glancingathishandsagain,`intheresumptionofsomeoldpursuitconnectedwiththeshock?"

`Thatisthefact."

`Now,didyoueverseehim,"askedtheDoctor,distinctlyandcollectedly,thoughinthesamelowvoice,`engagedinthatpursuitoriginally?"

`Once."

`Andwhentherelapsefellonhim,washeinmostrespects——orinallrespects——ashewasthen?"

`Ithinkinallrespects."

`Youspokeofhisdaughter.Doeshisdaughterknowoftherelapse?"

`No.Ithasbeenkeptfromher,andIhopewillalwaysbekeptfromher.Itisknownonlytomyself,andtooneotherwhomaybetrusted."

TheDoctorgraspedhishand,andmurmured,`Thatwasverykind.Thatwasverythoughtful!"Mr.Lorrygraspedhishandinreturn,andneitherofthetwospokeforalittlewhile.

`Now,mydearManette,"saidMr.Lorry,atlength,inhismostconsiderateandmostaffectionateway,`Iamameremanofbusiness,andunfittocopewithsuchintricateanddifficultmatters.Idonotpossessthekindofinformationnecessary;Idonotpossessthekindofintelligence;Iwantguiding.ThereisnomaninthisworldonwhomIcouldsorelyforrightguidance,asonyou.Tellme,howdoesthisrelapsecomeabout?Istheredangerofanother?Couldarepetitionofitbeprevented?Howshouldarepetitionofitbetreated?Howdoesitcomeaboutatall?WhatcanIdoformyfriend?Nomanevercanhavebeenmoredesirousinhishearttoserveafriend,thanIamtoservemine,ifIknewhow.ButIdon"tknowhowtooriginate,insuchacase.Ifyoursagacity,knowledge,andexperience,couldputmeontherighttrack,Imightbeabletodosomuch;unenlightenedandundirected,Icandosolittle.Praydiscussitwithme;prayenablemetoseeitalittlemoreclearly,andteachmehowtobealittlemoreuseful."

DoctorManettesatmeditatingaftertheseearnestwordswerespoken,andMr.Lorrydidnotpresshim.

`Ithinkso"itprobable,"saidtheDoctor,breakingsilencewithaneffort,`thattherelapseyouhavedescribed,mydearfriend,wasnotquiteunforeseenbyitssubject."

`Wasitdreadedbyhim?"Mr.Lorryventuredtoask.

`Verymuch."Hesaiditwithaninvoluntaryshudder.

`Youhavenoideahowsuchanapprehensionweighsonthesufferer"smind,andhowdifficult——howalmostimpossible——itis,forhimtoforcehimselftoutteraworduponthetopicthatoppresseshim."

`Wouldhe,"askedMr.Lorry,`hesensiblyrelievedifhecouldprevailuponhimselftoimpartthatsecretbroodingtoanyone,whenitisonhim?"

`Ithinkso.Butitis,asIhavetoldyou,nexttoimpossible.Ievenbelieveit——insomecases——tobequiteimpossible."

`Now,"saidMr.Lorry,gentlylayinghishandontheDoctor"sarmagain,afterashortsilenceonbothsides,`towhatwouldyoureferthisattack?"

`Ibelieve,"returnedDoctorManette,`thattherehadbeenastrongandextraordinaryrevivalofthetrainofthoughtandremembrancethatwasthefirstcauseofthemalady.Someintenseassociationsofamostdistressingnaturewerevividlyrecalled,Ithink.Itisprobablethattherehadlongbeenadreadlurkinginhismind,thatthoseassociationswouldberecalled——say,undercertaincircumstances——say,onaparticularoccasion.Hetriedtopreparehimselfinvain;perhapstheefforttopreparehimselfmadehimlessabletobearit."

`Wouldherememberwhattookplaceintherelapse?"askedMr.Lorry,withnaturalhesitation.

TheDoctorlookeddesolatelyroundtheroom,shookhishead,andanswered,inalowvoice,`Notatall."

`Now,astothefuture,"hintedMr.Lorry.

`Astothefuture,"saidtheDoctor,recoveringfirmness,`Ishouldhavegreathope.AsitpleasedHeaveninitsmercytorestorehimsosoon,Ishouldhavegreathope.He;yieldingunderthepressureofacomplicatedsomething,longdreadedandlongvaguelyforeseenandcontendedagainst,andrecoveringafterthecloudhadburstandpassed,Ishouldhopethattheworstwasover."

`Well,well!That"sgoodcomfort.Iamthankful!"saidMr.Lorry.

`Iamthankful!"repeatedtheDoctor,bendinghisheadwithreverence.

`Therearetwootherpoints,"saidMr.Lorry,`onwhichIamanxioustobeinstructed.Imaygoon?

`Youcannotdoyourfriendabetterservice."TheDoctorgavehimhishand.

`Tothefirst,then.Heisofastudioushabit,andunusuallyenergetic;heapplieshimselfwithgreatardourtotheacquisitionofprofessionalknowledge,totheconductingofexperiments,tomanythings.Now,doeshedotoomuch?"

`Ithinknot.Itmaybethecharacterofhismind,tobealwaysinsingularneedofoccupation.Thatmaybe,inpart,naturaltoit;inpart,theresultofaffliction.Thelessitwasoccupiedwithhealthythings,themoreitwouldbeindangerofturningintheunhealthydirection.Hemayhaveobservedhimself,andmadethediscovery."

`Youaresurethatheisnotundertoogreatastrain?"

`IthinkIamquitesureofit."

`MydearManette,ifhewereoverworkednow"

`MydearLorry,Idoubtifthatcouldeasilybe.Therehasbeenaviolentstressinonedirection,anditneedsacounter-weight."

`Excuseme,asapersistentmanofbusiness.Assumingforamoment,thathewasoverworked;itwouldshowitselfinsomerenewalofthisdisorder?"

`Idonotthinkso.Idonotthink,"saidDoctorManettewiththefirmnessofself-conviction,`thatanythingbuttheonetrainofassociationwouldrenewit.Ithinkthat,hence-forth,nothingbutsomeextraordinaryjarringofthatchordcouldrenewit.Alterwhathashappened,andafterhisrecovery,Ifinditdifficulttoimagineanysuchviolentsoundingofthatstringagain.Itrust,andIalmostbelieve,thatthecircumstanceslikelytorenewitareexhausted."

Hespokewiththediffidenceofamanwhoknewhowslightathingwouldoversetthedelicateorganisationofthemind,andyetwiththeconfidenceofamanwhohadslowlywonhisassuranceoutofpersonalenduranceanddistress.Itwasnotforhisfriendtoabatethatconfidence.Heprofessedhimselfmorerelievedandencouragedthanhereallywas,andapproachedhissecondandlastpoint.Hefeltittobethemostdifficultofall;but,rememberinghisoldSundaymorningconversationwithMissPross,andrememberingwhathehadseeninthelastninedays,heknewthathemustfaceit.

`Theoccupationresumedundertheinfluenceofthispassingafflictionsohappilyrecoveredfrom,"saidMr.Lorry,clearinghisthroat,`wewillcall-Blacksmith"swork,Blacksmith"swork.Wewillsay,toputacaseandforthesakeofillustration,thathehadbeenused,inhisbadtime,toworkatalittleforge.Wewillsaythathewasunexpectedlyfoundathisforgeagain.Isitnotapitythatheshouldkeepitbyhim?"

TheDoctorshadedhisforeheadwithhishand,andbeathisfootnervouslyontheground.

`Hehasalwayskeptitbyhim,"saidMr.Lorry,withananxiouslookathisfriend.`Now,woulditnotbebetterthatheshouldletitgo?"

Still,theDoctor,withshadedforehead,beathisfootnervouslyontheground.

`Youdonotfinditeasytoadviseme?"saidMr.Lorry.

`Iquiteunderstandittobeanicequestion.AndyetIthink——"Andthereheshookhishead,andstopped.

`Yousee,"saidDoctorManette,turningtohimafteranuneasypause,`itisveryhardtoexplain,consistently,theinnermostworkingsofthispoorman"smind.Heonceyearnedsofrightfullyforthatoccupation,anditwassowelcomewhenitcame;nodoubtitrelievedhispainsomuch,bysubstitutingtheperplexityofthefingersfortheperplexityofthebrain,andbysubstituting,ashebecamemorepractised,theingenuityofthehands,fortheingenuityofthementaltorture;thathehasneverbeenabletobearthethoughtofputtingitquiteoutofhisreach.Evennow,whenIbelieveheismorehopefulofhimselfthanhehaseverbeen,andevenspeaksofhimselfwithakindofconfidence,theideathathemightneedthatoldemployment,andnotfindit,giveshimasuddensenseofterror,likethatwhichonemayfancystrikestotheheartofalostchild."

Helookedlikehisillustration,asheraisedhiseyestoMr.Lob"sface.`Butmaynot——mind!Iaskforinformation,asaploddingmanofbusinesswhoonlydealswithsuchmaterialobjectsasguineas,shillings,andbank-notes——maynottheretentionofthethinginvolvetheretentionoftheidea?Ifthethingweregone,mydearManette,mightnotthefeargowithit?Inshort,isitnotaconcessiontothemisgiving,tokeeptheforge?"

Therewasanothersilence.

`Yousee,too,"saidtheDoctor,tremulously,`itissuchanoldcompanion."

`Iwouldnotkeepit,"saidMr.Lorry,shakinghishead;forhegainedinfirmnessashesawtheDoctordisquieted.`Iwouldrecommendhimtosacrificeit.Ionlywantyourauthority.Iamsureitdoesnogood.Come!Givemeyourauthority,likeadeargoodman.Forhisdaughter"ssake,mydearManette!"

Verystrangetoseewhatastruggletherewaswithinhim!`Inhername,then,letitbedone;Isanctionit.But,Iwouldnottakeitawaywhilehewaspresent.Letitberemovedwhenheisnotthere;lethimmisshisoldcompanionafteranabsence."

Mr.Lorryreadilyengagedforthat,andtheconferencewasended.Theypassedthedayinthecountry,andtheDoctorwasquiterestored.Onthethreefollowingdaysheremainedperfectlywell,andonthefourteenthdayhewentawaytojoinLucieandherhusband.Theprecautionthathadbeentakentoaccountforhissilence,Mr.Lorryhadpreviouslyexplainedtohim,andhehadwrittentoLucieinaccordancewithit,andshehadnosuspicions.

Onthenightofthedayonwhichheleftthehouse,Mr.Lorrywentintohisroomwithachopper,saw,chisel,andhammer,attendedbyMissProsscarryingalight.There,withcloseddoors,andinamysteriousandguiltymanner,Mr.Lorryhackedtheshoemaker"sbenchtopieces,whileMissProssheldthecandleasifshewereassistingatamurder——orwhich,indeed,inhergrimness,shewasnounsuitablefigure.Theburningofthebody(previouslyreducedtopiecesconvenientforthepurpose)wascommencedwithoutdelayinthekitchenfire;andthetools,shoes,andleather,wereburiedinthegarden.Sowickeddodestructionandsecrecyappeartohonestminds,thatMr.LorryandMissPross,whileenragedinthecommissionoftheirdeedandintheremovalofitstraces,almostfelt,andalmostlooked,likeaccomplicesinahorriblecrime.

CHAPTERXX

APlea

WHENthenewly-marriedpaircamehome,thefirstpersonwhoappeared,toofferhiscongratulations,wasSydneyCarton.Theyhadnotbeenathomemanyhours,whenhepresentedhimself.Hewasnotimprovedinhabits,orinlooks,orinmanner;buttherewasacertainruggedairoffidelityabouthim,whichwasnewtotheobservationofCharlesDarnay.

HewatchedhisopportunityoftakingDarnayasideintoawindow,andofspeakingtohimwhennooneoverheard.

`Mr.Darnay,"saidCarton,`Iwishwemightbefriends."

`Wearealreadyfriends,Ihope."

`Youaregoodenoughtosayso,asafashionofspeech;hut,Idon"tmeananyfashionofspeech.Indeed,whenIsayIwishwemightbefriends,Iscarcelymeanquitethat,either."

CharlesDarnay——Aswasnatural——Askedhim,inallgood-humourandgood-fellowship,whathedidmean?

`Uponmylife,"saidCarton,smiling,`Ifindthateasiertocomprehendinmyownmind,thantoconveytoyours.However,letmetry.YourememberacertainfamousoccasionwhenIwasmoredrunkthan——thanusual?"

`Irememberacertainfamousoccasionwhenyouforcedmetoconfessthatyouhadbeendrinking."

`Irememberittoo.Thecurseofthoseoccasionsisheavyuponme,forIalwaysrememberthem.Ihopeitmaybetakenintoaccountoneday,whenalldaysareatanendforme!Don"tbealarmed;Iamnotgoingtopreach."

`Iamnotatallalarmed.Earnestnessinyouisanythingbutalarmingtome."

`Ah!"saidCarton,withacarelesswaveofhishand,asifhewavedthataway.`Onthedrunkenoccasioninquestion(oneofalargenumber,asyouknow),Iwasinsufferableaboutlikingyou,andnotlikingyou.Iwishyouwouldforgetit."

`Iforgotitlongago."

`Fashionofspeechagain!But,Mr.Darnay,oblivionisnotsoeasytome,asyourepresentittobetoyou.Ihavebynomeansforgottenit,andalightanswerdoesnothelpmetoforgetit."

`Ifitwasalightanswer,"returnedDarnay,`Ibegyourforgivenessforit.Ihadnootherobjectthantoturnaslightthing,which,tomysurprise,seemstotroubleyoutoomuch,aside.Ideclaretoyouonthefaithofagentleman,thatIhavelongdismisseditfrommymind.GoodHeaven,whatwastheretodismiss!HaveIhadnothingmoreimportanttoremember,inthegreatserviceyourenderedmethatday?"

`Astothegreatservice,"saidCarton,`Iamboundtoavowtoyou,whenyouspeakofitinthatway,thatitwasmereprofessionalclaptrap.Idon"tknowthatIcaredwhatbecameofyou,whenIrenderedIt——Mind!IsaywhenIrenderedit;Iamspeakingofthepast."

`Youmakelightoftheobligation,"returnedDarnay,`butIwillnotquarrelwithyourlightanswer."

`Genuinetruth,Mr.Darnay,trustme!Ihavegoneasidefrommypurpose;Iwasspeakingaboutourbeingfriends.Now,youknowme;youknowIamincapableofallthehigherandbetterflightsofmen.Ifyoudoubtit,askStryver,andhe"lltellyouso."

`Iprefertoformmyownopinion,withouttheaidofhis."

`Well!Atanyrateyouknowmeasadissolutedogwhohasneverdoneanygood,andneverwill."

`Idon"tknowthatyou"neverwill.""

`ButIdo,andyoumusttakemywordforit.Well!Ifyoucouldenduretohavesuchaworthlessfellow,andafellowofsuchindifferentreputation,comingandgoingatoddtimes,IshouldaskthatImightbepermittedtocomeandgoasaprivilegedpersonhere;thatImightberegardedasanuseless(andIwouldadd,ifitwerenotfortheresemblanceIdetectedbetweenyouandme),anunornamental,pieceoffurniture,toleratedforitsoldservice,andtakennonoticeof.IdoubtifIshouldabusethepermission.ItisahundredtooneifIshouldavailmyselfofitfourtimesinayear.Itwouldsatisfyme,Idaresay,toknowthatIhadit."

`Willyoutry?"

`ThatisanotherwayofsayingthatIamplacedonthefootingIhaveindicated.Ithankyou,Darnay.Imayusethatfreedomwithyourname?"

`Ithinkso,Carton,bythistime."

Theyshookhandsuponit,andSydneyturnedaway.Withinaminuteafterwards,hewas,toalloutwardappearance,asunsubstantialasever.

Whenhehasgone,andinthecourseofaneveningpassedwithMissPross,theDoctor,andMr.Lorry,CharlesDarnaymadesomementionofthisconversationingeneralterms,andspokeofSydneyCartonasaproblemofcarelessnessandrecklessness.Hespokeofhim,inshort,notbitterlyormeaningtobearharduponhim,butasanybodymightwhosawhimasheshowedhimself.

Hehadnoideathatthiscoulddwellinthethoughtsofhisfairyoungwife;but,whenheafterwardsjoinedherintheirownrooms,hefoundherwaitingforhimwiththeoldprettyliftingoftheforeheadstronglymarked.

`Wearethoughtfulto-night!"saidDarnay,drawinghisarmabouther.

`Yes,dearestCharles,"withherhandsonhisbreast,andtheinquiringandattentiveexpressionfixeduponhim;`weareratherthoughtfulto-night,forwehavesomethingonourmindto-night."

`Whatisit,myLucie?"

`Willyoupromisenottopressonequestiononme,ifIbegyounottoaskit?"

"WillIpromise?WhatwillInotpromisetomyLove?"

What,indeed,withhishandputtingasidethegoldenhairfromthecheek,andhisotherhandagainsttheheartthatbeatforhim!

`Ithink,Charles,poorMr.Cartondeservesmoreconsiderationandrespectthanyouexpressedforhimto-night."

`Indeed,myown?Whyso?"

`Thatiswhatyouarenottoaskme?ButIthink——Iknow——hedoes."

`Ifyouknowit,itisenough.Whatwouldyouhavemedo,myLife?"

`Iwouldaskyou,dearest,tobeverygenerouswithhimalways,andverylenientonhisfaultswhenheisnotby.Iwouldaskyoutobelievethathehasahearthevery,veryseldomreveals,andthattherearedeepwoundsinit.Mydear,Ihaveseenitbleeding."

`Itisapainfulreflectiontome,saidCharlesDarnay,quiteastounded,`thatIshouldhavedonehimanywrong.Ineverthoughtthisofhim."

`Myhusband,itisso.Ifearheisnottobereclaimed;thereisscarcelyahopethatanythinginhischaracterorfortunesisreparablenow.But,Iamsurethatheiscapableofgoodthings,gentlethings,evenmagnanimousthings."

Shelookedsobeautifulinthepurityofherfaithinthislostman,thatherhusbandcouldhavelookedatherasshewasforhours.

`And,OmydearestLove!"sheurged,clingingnearertohim,layingherheaduponhisbreast,andraisinghereyestohis,`rememberhowstrongweareinourhappiness,andhowweakheisinhismisery!"

Thesupplicationtouchedhimhome.`Iwillalwaysrememberit,dearHeart!IwillrememberitaslongasIlive."

Hebentoverthegoldenhead,andputtherosylipstohis,andfoldedherinhisarms.Ifoneforlornwandererthenpacingthedarkstreets,couldhaveheardherinnocentdisclosure,andcouldhaveseenthedropsofpitykissedawaybyherhusbandfromthesoftblueeyessolovingofthathusband,hemighthavecriedtothenight——andthewordswouldnothavepartedfromhislipsforthefirsttime——

`Godblessherforhersweetcompassion!"

CHAPTERXXI

EchoingFootsteps

AWONDERFULcornerforechoes,ithasbeenremarked,thatcornerwheretheDoctorlived.Everbusilywindingthegoldenthreadwhichboundherhusband,andherfather,andherself,andherolddirectressandcompanion,inalifeofquietbliss,Luciesatinthestillhouseinthetranquillyresoundingcorner,listeningtotheechoingfootstepsofyears.

Atfirst,thereweretimes,thoughshewasaperfectlyhappyyoungwife,whenherworkwouldslowlyfallfromherhands,andhereyeswouldbedimmed.For,therewassomethingcomingintheechoes,somethinglight,afaroff,andscarcelyaudibleyet,thatstirredherhearttoomuch.Flutteringhopesanddoubts——hope,ofaloveasyetunknowntoher:doubts,ofherremaininguponearth,toenjoythatnewdelight——dividedherbreast.Amongtheechoesthen,therewouldarisethesoundoffootstepsatherownearlygrave;andthoughtsofthehusbandwhowouldbeleftsodesolate,andwhowouldmournforhersomuch,swelledtohereyes,andbrokelikewaves.

Thattimepassed,andherlittleLucielayonherbosom.Then,amongtheadvancingechoes,therewasthetreadofhertinyfeetandthesoundofherprattlingwords.Letgreaterechoesresoundastheywould,theyoungmotheratthecradlesidecouldalwayshearthosecoming.Theycame,andtheshadyhousewassunnywithachild"slaugh,andtheDivinefriendofchildren,towhominhertroubleshehadconfidedhers,seemedtotakeherchildinHisarms,asHetookthechildofold,andmadeitasacredjoytoher.

Everbusilywindingthegoldenthreadthatboundthemalltogether,weavingtheserviceofherhappyinfluencethroughthetissueofalltheirlives,andmakingitpredominatenowhere,Lucieheardintheechoesofyearsnonebutfriendlyandsoothingsounds.Herhusband"sstepwasstrongandprosperousamongthem;herfather"sfirmandequal.Lo,MissPross,inharnessofstring,awakeningtheechoes,asanunrulycharger,whip-corrected,snortingandpawingtheearthundertheplane-treeinthegarden!

Evenwhenthereweresoundsofsorrowamongtherest,theywerenotharshnorcruel.Evenwhengoldenhair,likeherown,layinahaloonapillowroundthewornfaceofalittleboy,andhesaid,witharadiantsmile,`Dearpapaandmamma,Iamverysorrytoleaveyouboth,andtoleavemyprettysister;butIamcalled,andImustgo!"thosewerenottearsallofagonythatwettedhisyoungmother"scheek,asthespiritdepartedfromherembracethathadbeenentrustedtoit.Sufferthemandforbidthemnot.TheyseemyFather"sface.OFather,blessedwords!

Thus,therustlingofanAngel"swingsgotblendedwiththeotherechoes,andtheywerenotwhollyofearth,buthadinthemthatbreathofHeaven.Sighsofthewindsthatblewoveralittlegarden-tombweremingledwiththemalso,andbothwereaudibletoLucie,inahushedmurmur——likethebreathingofasummerseaasleepuponasandyshore——asthelittleLucie,comicallystudiousatthetaskofthemorning,ordressingadollathermother"sfootstool,chatteredinthetonguesoftheTwoCitiesthatwereblendedinherlife.

TheechoesrarelyansweredtotheactualtreadofSydneyCarton.Somehalf-dozentimesayear,atmost,heclaimedhisprivilegeofcominginuninvited,andwouldsitamongthemthroughtheevening,ashehadoncedoneoften.Henevercamethereheatedwithwine.Andoneotherthingregardinghimwaswhisperedintheechoes,whichhasbeenwhisperedbyalltrueechoesforagesandages.

Nomaneverreallylovedawoman,losther,andknewherwithablamelessthoughanunchangedmind,whenshewasawifeandamother,butherchildrenhadastrangesympathywithhim——aninstinctivedelicacyofpityforhim.Whatfinehiddensensibilitiesaretouchedinsuchacase,noechoestell;butitisso,anditwassohere.CartonwasthefirststrangertowhomlittleLucieheldoutherchubbyarms,andhekepthisplacewithherasshegrew.Thelittleboyhadspokenofhim,almostatthelast.`PoorCarton!Kisshimforme!"

Mr.Stryvershoulderedhiswaythroughthelaw,likesomegreatengineforcingitselfthroughturbidwater,anddraggedhisusefulfriendinhiswake,likeaboattowedastern.Astheboatsofavouredisusuallyinaroughplight,andmostlyunderwater,so,Sydneyhadaswampedlifeofit.But,easyandstrongcustom,unhappilysomucheasierandstrongerinhimthananystimulatingsenseofdesertordisgrace,madeitthelifehewastolead;andhenomorethoughtofemergingfromhisstateoflion"sjackal,thananyrealjackalmaybesupposedtothinkofrisingtobealion.Stryverwasrich;hadmarriedafloridwidowwithpropertyandthreeboys,whohadnothingparticularlyshiningaboutthembutthestraighthairoftheirdumplingheads.

Thesethreeyounggentleman,Mr.Stryver,exudingpatronageofthemostoffensivequalityfromeverypore,hadwalkedbeforehimlikethreesheeptothequietcornerinSoho,andhadofferedaspupilstoLucie"shusband:delicatelysaying,`Halloa!herearethreelumpsofbread-and-cheesetowardsyourmatrimonialpicnic,Darnay!"Thepoliterejectionofthethreelumpsofbread-and-cheesehadquitebloatedMr.Stryverwithindignation,whichheafterwardsturnedtoaccountinthetrainingoftheyounggentlemen,bydirectingthemtobewareoftheprideofBeggars,likethattutor-fellow.HewasalsointhehabitofdeclaimingtoMrs.Stryver,overhisfull-bodiedwine,ontheartsMrs.Darnayhadonceputinpracticeto`catch"him,andonthediamond-cut-diamondartsinhimself,madam,whichhadrenderedhim`nottobecaught."SomeofhisKing"sBenchfamiliars,whowereoccasionallypartiestothefull-bodiedwineandthelie,excusedhimforthelatterbysayingthathehadtolditsooften,thathebelievedithimself——whichissurelysuchanincorrigibleaggravationofanoriginallybadoffence,astojustifyanysuchoffender"sbeingcarriedofftosomesuitablyretiredspot,andtherehangedoutoftheway.

ThesewereamongtheechoestowhichLucie,sometimespensive,sometimesamusedandlaughing,listenedintheechoingcorner,untilherlittledaughterwassixyearsold.Howneartoherhearttheechoesofherchild"streadcame,andthoseofherowndearfather"s,alwaysactiveandself-possessed,andthoseofherdearhusband"s,neednotbetold.Nor,howthelightestechooftheirunitedhome,directedbyherselfwithsuchawiseandelegantthriftthatitwasmoreabundantthananywaste,wasmusictoher.Nor,howtherewereechoesallabouther,sweetinherears,ofthemanytimesherfatherhadtoldherthathefoundhermoredevotedtohimmarried(ifthatcouldbe)thansingle,andofthemanytimesherhusbandhadsaidtoherthatnocaresanddutiesseemedtodivideherloveforhimorherhelptohim,andaskedher`Whatisthemagicsecret,mydarling,ofyourbeingeverythingtoallofus,asiftherewereonlyoneofus,yetneverseemingtobehurried,ortohavetoomuchtodo?"

But,therewereotherechoes,fromadistance,thatrumbledmenacinglyinthecornerallthroughthisspaceoftime.Anditwasnow,aboutlittleLucie"ssixthbirthday,thattheybegantohaveanawfulsound,asofagreatstorminFrancewithadreadfulsearising.

Onanightinmid-July,onethousandsevenhundredandeighty-nine,Mr.Lorrycameinlate,fromTellson"s,andsathimselfdownbyLucieandherhusbandinthedarkwindow.Itwasahot,wildnight,andtheywereallthreeremindedoftheoldSundaynightwhentheyhadlookedatthelightningfromthesameplace.

`Ibegantothink,"saidMr.Lorry,pushinghisbrownwigback,`thatIshouldhavetopassthenightatTellson"s.Wehavebeensofullofbusinessallday,thatwehavenotknownwhattodofirst,orwhichwaytoturn.ThereissuchanuneasinessinParis,thatwehaveactuallyarunofconfidenceuponus!Ourcustomersoverthere,seemnottobeabletoconfidetheirpropertytousfastenough.ThereispositivelyamaniaamongsomeofthemforsendingittoEngland."

`Thathasabadlook,"saidDarnay.

`Abadlook,yousay,mydearDarnay?Yes,butwedon"tknowwhatreasonthereisinit.Peoplearesounreasonable!SomeofusatTellson"saregettingold,andwereallycan"tbetroubledoutoftheordinarycoursewithoutdueoccasion."

`Still,"saidDarnay,`youknowhowgloomyandthreateningtheskyis."

`Iknowthat,tobesure,"assentedMr.Lorry,tryingtopersuadehimselfthathissweettemperwassoured,andthathegrumbled,`butIamdeterminedtobepeevishaftermylongday"sbotheration.WhereisManette?"