第10章

`Come!"rejoinedStryver,laughingboastfully,`thoughIdon"tpreferanyclaimtobeingthesoulofRomance(forIhopeI,knowbetter),stillIamatenderersortoffellowthanyou.

`Youarealuckier,ifyoumeanthat."

`Idon"tmeanthat.ImeanIamamanofmore——more——"

`Saygallantry,whileyouareaboutit,"suggestedCarton.

`Well!I"llsaygallantry.MymeaningisthatIamaman,"saidStryver,inflatinghimselfathisfriendashemadethepunch,`whocaresmoretobeagreeable,Whotakesmorepainstobeagreeable,whoknowsbetterhowtobeagreeable,inawoman"ssociety,thanyoudo."

`Goon,"saidSydneyCarton.

`No;butbeforeIgoon,"saidStryver,shakinghisheadinhisbullyingway,`I"llhavethisoutwithyou.You"vebeenatDr.Manette"shouseasmuchasIhave,ormorethanIhave.Why,Ihavebeenashamedofyourmorosenessthere!Yourmannershavebeenofthatsilentandsullenandhang-dogkind,that,uponmylifeandsoul,Ihavebeenashamedofyou,Sydney!"

`Itshouldbeverybeneficialtoamaninyourpracticeatthebar,tobeashamedofanything,"returnedSydney;`yououghttobemuchobligedtome.

`YoushallnotgetoffinthatWay,"rejoinedStryver,shoulderingtherejoinderathim;`no,Sydney,it"smydutytotellyou——andItellyoutoyourfacetodoyougood——thatyouareadevilishill-conditionedfellowinthatsortofsociety.Youareadisagreeablefellow."

Sydneydrankabumperofthepunchhehadmade,andlaughed.

`Lookatme!"saidStryver,squaringhimself:`Ihavelessneedtomakemyselfagreeablethanyouhave,beingmoreindependentincircumstances.WhydoIdoit?"

`Ineversawyoudoityet,"mutteredCarton.

`Idoitbecauseit"spolitic;Idoitonprinciple.Andlookatme!Igeton."

`Youdon"tgetonwithyouraccountofyourmatrimonialintentions,"answeredCarton,withacarelessair;`Iwishyouwouldkeeptothat.Astome——willyouneverunderstandthatIamincorrigible?"

Heaskedthequestionwithsomeappearanceofscorn.

`Youhavenobusinesstobeincorrigible,"washisfriend"sanswer,deliveredinnoverysoothingtone.

`Ihavenobusinesstobe,atall,thatIknowof,"saidSydneyCarton.`Whoisthelady?"

`Now,don"tletmyannouncementofthenamemakeyouuncomfortable,Sydney,"saidMr.Stryver,preparinghimwithostentatiousfriendlinessforthedisclosurehewasabouttomake,`becauseIknowyoudon"tmeanhalfyousay;andifyoumeantitall,itwouldbeofnoimportance.Imakethislittlepreface,because,youoncementionedtheyoungladytomeinslightingterms.

`Idid?"

`Certainly;andinthesechambers."

SydneyCartonlookedathispunchandlookedathiscomplacentfriend;drankhispunchandlookedathiscomplacentfriend.

`Youmadementionoftheyoungladyasagolden-haireddoll.TheyoungladyisMissManette.Ifyouhadbeenafellowofanysensitivenessordelicacyoffeelinginthatkindofway,Sydney,Imighthavebeenalittleresentfulofyouremployingsuchadesignation;butyouarenot.Youwantthatsensealtogether;thereforeIamnomoreannoyedwhenIthinkoftheexpression,thanIshouldbeannoyedbyaman"sopinionofapictureofmine,whohadnoeyeforpictures:orofapieceofmusicofmine,whohadnoearformusic."

SydneyCartondrankthepunchatagreatrate;drankitbybumpers,lookingathisfriend.

`Nowyouknowallaboutit,Syd,"saidMr.Stryver.`Idon"tcareaboutfortune:sheisacharmingcreature,andIhavemadeupmymindtopleasemyself:onthewhole,IthinkIcanaffordtopleasemyself.Shewillhaveinmeamanalreadyprettywelloffandarapidlyrisingman,andamanofsomedistinction:itisapieceofgoodfortuneforher,butsheisworthyofgoodfortune.Areyouastonished?"

Carton,stilldrinkingthepunch,rejoined,`WhyshouldIbeastonished?"

`Youapprove?"

Carton,stilldrinkingthepunch,rejoined,`WhyshouldInotapprove?"`Well!"saidhisfriendStryver,`youtakeitmoreeasilythanIfanciedyouwould,andarelessmercenaryonmybehalfthanIthoughtyouwouldbe;though,tobesure,youknowwellenoughbythistimethatyourancientchumisamanofaprettystrongwill.Yes,Sydney,Ihavehadenoughofthisstyleoflife,withnootherasachangeiron"it;Ifeelthatitisapleasantthingforamantohaveahomewhenhefeelsinclinedtogotoit(whenhedoesn"t,hecanstayaway),andIfeelthatMissManettewilltellwellinanystation,andwillalwaysdomecredit.SoIhavemadeupmymind.Andnow,Sydney,oldboy,Iwanttosayawordtoyouaboutyourprospects.Youareinabadway,youknow;youreallyareinabadway.Youdon"tknowthevalueofmoney,youlivehard,you"llknockuponeofthesedays,andbeillandpoor;youreallyoughttothinkaboutanurse.

Theprosperouspatronagewithwhichhesaidit,madehimlooktwiceasbigashewas,andfourtimesasoffensive.

`Now,letmerecommendyou,"pursuedStryver,`tolookitintheface.Ihavelookeditintheface,inmydifferentway;lookitintheface,you,inyourdifferentway.Marry.Providesomebodytotakecareofyou.Nevermindyourhavingnoenjoymentofwomen"ssociety,norunderstandingofit,nortactforit.Findoutsomebody.Findoutsomerespectablewomanwithalittleproperty——somebodyinthelandladyway,orlodging-lettingway——andmarryher,againstarainyday.That"sthekindofthingforyou.Nowthinkofit,Sydney."

`I"llthinkofit,"saidSydney.

CHAPTERXII

TheFellowofDelicacy

MR.STRYVERhavingmadeuphismindtothatmagnanimousbestowalofgoodfortuneontheDoctor"sdaughter,resolvedtomakeherhappinessknowntoherbeforehelefttownfortheLongVacation.Aftersomementaldebatingofthepoint,hecametotheconclusionthatitwouldbeaswelltogetallthepreliminariesdonewith,andtheycouldthenarrangeattheirleisurewhetherheshouldgiveherhishandaweekortwobeforeMichaelmasTerm,orinthelittleChristmasvacationbetweenitandHilary.

Astothestrengthofhiscase,hehadnotadoubtaboutit,butclearlysawhiswayto"theverdict.Arguedwiththejuryonsubstantialworldlygrounds——theonlygroundseverworthtakingintoaccount——itwasaplaincase,andhadnotaweakspotinit.Hecalledhimselffortheplaintiff,therewasnogettingoverhisevidence,thecounselforthedefendantthrewuphisbrief,andthejurydidnoteventurntoconsider.Aftertryingit,Stryver,C.J.,wassatisfiedthatnoplainercasecouldbe.

Accordingly,Mr.StryverinauguratedtheLongVacationwithaformalproposaltotakeMissManettetoVauxhallGardens;thatfailing,toRanelagh;thatunaccountablyfailingtoo,itbehovedhimtopresenthimselfinSoho,andtheredeclarehisnoblemind.

TowardsSoho,therefore,Mr.SteershoulderedhiswayfromtheTemple,whilethebloomoftheLongVacation"sinfancywasstilluponit.AnybodywhohadseenhimprojectinghimselfintoSohowhilehewasyetonSaintDunstan"ssideofTempleBar,burstinginhisfull-blownwayalongthepavement,tothejostlementofallweakerpeople,mighthaveseenhowsafeandstronghewas.

HiswaytakinghimpastTellson"s,andhebothbankingatTellson"sandknowingMr.LorryastheintimatefriendoftheManettes,itenteredMr.Stryver"smindtoenterthebank,andrevealtoMr.LorrythebrightnessoftheSohohorizon.So,hepushedopenthedoorwiththeweakrattleinitsthroat,stumbleddownthetwosteps,gotpastthetwoancientcashiers,andshoulderedhimselfintothemustybackclosetwhereMr.Lorrysatatgreatbooksruledforfigures,withperpendicularironbarstohiswindowasifthatwereruledforfigurestoo,andeverythingunderthecloudswereasum.

`Halloa!"saidMr.Stryver.`Howdoyoudo?Ihopeyouarewell!"

ItwasStryver"sgrandpeculiaritythathealwaysseemedtoobigforanyplace,orspace.HewassomuchtoobigforTellson"s,thatoldclerksindistantcornerslookedupwithlooksofremonstrance,asthoughhesqueezedthemagainstthewall.TheHouseitself,magnificentlyreadingthepaperquiteinthefar-offperspective,lowereddispleased,asiftheStryverheadhadbeenbuttedintoitsresponsiblewaistcoat.

ThediscreetMr.Lorrysaid,inasampletoneofthevoicehewouldrecommendunderthecircumstances,`Howdoyoudo,Mr.Stryver?Howdoyoudo,sir?"andshookhands.Therewasapeculiarityinhismannerofshakinghands,alwaystobeseeninanyclerkatTellson"swhoshookhandswithacustomerwhentheHousepervadedtheair.Heshookinaself-abnegatingway,asonewhoshookforTellsonandCo.

`CanIdoanythingforyou,Mr.Stryver?"askedMr.Lorry,inhisbusinesscharacter.

`Why,no,thankyou;thisisaprivatevisittoyourself,Mr.Lorry;Ihavecomeforaprivateword."

`Ohindeed!"saidMr.Lorry,bendingdownhisear,whilehiseyestrayedtotheHouseafaroff.

`Iamgoing,"saidMr.Stryver,leaninghisarmsconfidentiallyonthedesk:whereupon,althoughitwasalargedoubleone,thereappearedtobenothalfdeskenoughforhim:`Iamgoingtomakeanofferofmyselfinmarriagetoyouragreeablelittlefriend,MissManette,Mr.Lorry."

Ohdearme!"criedMr.Lorry,rubbinghischin,andlookingathisvisitordubiously.

`Ohdearme,sir?"repeatedStryver,drawingback.

`Ohdearyou,sir?Whatmayyourmeaningbe,Mr.Lorry?"

`Mymeaning,"answeredthemanofbusiness,`is,ofcourse,friendlyandappreciative,andthatitdoesyouthegreatestcredit,and——inshort,mymeaningiseverythingyoucoulddesire.But——really,youknow,Mr.Stryver——"Mr.Lorrypaused,andshookhisheadathimintheoddestmanner,asifhewerecompelledagainsthiswilltoadd,internally,`youknowtherereallyissomuchtoomuchofyou!"

`Well!"saidStryver,slappingthedeskwithhiscontentioushand,openinghiseyeswider,andtakingalongbreath,`ifIunderstandyou,Mr.Lorry,I"llbehanged!"

Mr.Lorryadjustedhislittlewigatbothearsasameanstowardsthatend,andbitthefeatherofapen.

`D——nitall,sir!"saidStryver,staringathim,`amInoteligible?"

`Ohdearyes!Yes.Ohyes,you"reeligible!"saidMr.Lorry.`Ifyousayeligible,youareeligible."

`AmInotprosperous?"askedStryver.

`Oh!ifyoucometoprosperous,youareprosperous,"saidMr.Lorry.

`Andadvancing?"

`Ifyoucometoadvancing,youknow,"saidMr.Lorry,delightedtobeabletomakeanotheradmission,`nobodycandoubtthat."

`Thenwhatonearthisyourmeaning,Mr.Lorry?"demandedStryver,perceptiblycrestfallen.

`Well!IWereyougoingtherenow?"askedMr.Lorry.`Straight!"saidStryver,withaplumpofhisfistonthedesk.`ThenIthinkIwouldn"t,ifIwasyou."

`Why?"saidStryver.`Now,I"llputyouinacorner,"forensicallyshakingaforefingerathim.`Youareamanofbusinessandboundtohaveareason.Stateyourreason.

Whywouldn"tyougo?"

`Because,"saidMr.Lorry,`Iwouldn"tgoonsuchanobjectwithouthavingsomecausetobelievethatIshouldsucceed."

`D——nME!"criedStryver,`butthisbeatseverything."

Mr.LorryglancedatthedistantHouse,andglancedattheangryStryver.

`Here"samanofbusiness——amanofyears——amanofexperience——inaBank,"saidStryver;`andhavingsummedupthreeleadingreasonsforcompletesuccess,hesaysthere"snoreasonatall!Saysitwithhisheadon!"Mr.Stryverremarkedupontilepeculiarityasifitwouldhavebeeninfinitelylessremarkableifhehadsaiditwithhisheadoff.

`WhenIspeakofsuccess,Ispeakofsuccesswiththeyounglady;andwhenIspeakofcausesandreasonstomakesuccessprobable,Ispeakofcausesandreasonsthatwilltellassuchwiththeyounglady.Theyounglady,mygoodsir,"saidMr.Lorry,mildlytappingtheStryverarm,`theyounglady.Theyoungladygoesbeforeall."

`Thenyoumeantotellme,Mr.Lorry,"saidStryver,squaringhiselbows,`thatitisyourdeliberateopinionthattheyoungladyatpresentinquestionisamincingFool?"

`Notexactlyso.Imeantotellyou,Mr.Stryver,"saidMr.Lorry,reddening,`thatIwillhearnodisrespectfulwordOfthatyoungladyfromanylips;andthatifIknewanyman——whichIhopeIdonot——whosetastewassocoarse,andwhosetemperwassooverbearing,thathecouldnotrestrainhimselffromspeakingdisrespectfullyofthatyoungladyatthisdesk,notevenTellson"sshouldpreventmygivinghimapieceofmymind."

ThenecessityofbeingangryinasuppressedtonehadputMr.Stryver"sblood-vesselsintoadangerousstatewhenitwashisturntobeangry;Mr.Lorry"sveins,methodicalastheircoursescouldusuallybe,wereinnobetterstatenowitwashisturn.

`ThatiswhatImeantotellyou,sir,"saidMr.Lorry.`Praylettherebenomistakeaboutit."

Mr.Stryversuckedtileendofarulerforalittlewhileandthenstoodhittingatuneoutofhisteethwithit,which"probablygavehimthetoothache.Hebroketheawkwardsilencebysaying:

`Thisissomethingnewtome,Mr.Lorry.YoudeliberatelyadvisemenottogouptoSohoandoffermyself——myself,StryveroftheKing"sBenchbar?"

`Doyouaskmeformyadvice,Mr.Stryver?"

`Yes,Ido."

`Verygood.ThenIgiveit,andyouhaverepeateditcorrectly."

`AndallIcansayofitis,"laughedStryverwithavexedlaugh,`thatthis——ha,ha!——beatseverythingpast,present,andtocome."

`Nowunderstandme,"pursuedMr.Lorry.`Asamanofbusiness,Iamnotjustifiedinsayinganythingaboutthismatter,for,asamanofbusiness,Iknownothingofit.But,asanoldfellow,whohascarriedMissManetteinhisarms,whoisthetrustedfriendofMissManetteandofherfathertoo,andwhohasagreataffectionforthemboth,Ihavespoken.Theconfidenceisnotofmyseeking,recollect.Now,youthinkImaynotberight?"

`NotI!"saidStryver,whistling.`Ican"tundertaketofindthirdpartiesincommonsense;IcanonlyfinditformyselfIsupposesenseincertainquarters;yousupposemincingbread-and-butternonsense.It"snewtome,butyouareright,Idaresay."

`WhatIsuppose,Mr.Stryver,IclaimtocharacteriseformyselfAndunderstandme,sir,"saidMr.Lorry,quicklyflushingagain,`Iwillnot——notevenatTellson"s——haveitcharacterisedformebyanygentlemanbreathing."

`There!Ibegyourpardon!"saidStryver.

`Granted.Thankyou.Well,Mr.Stryver,Iwasabouttosay——itmightbepainfultoyoutofindyourselfmistaken,itmightbepainfultoDoctorManettetohavethetaskofbeingexplicitwithyou,itmightbeverypainfultoMissManettetohavethetaskofbeingexplicitwithyou.YouknowthetermsuponwhichIhavethehonourandhappinesstostandwiththefamily.Ifyouplease,committingyouinnoway,representingyouinnoway,Iwillundertaketocorrectmyadvicebytheexerciseofalittlenewobservationandjudgmentexpresslybroughttobearuponit.Ifyoushouldthenbedissatisfiedwithit,youcanbuttestitssoundnessforyourself;if,ontheotherhand,youshouldbesatisfiedwithit,anditshouldbewhatitnowis,itmayspareallsideswhatisbestspared.Whatdoyousay?"

`Howlongwouldyoukeepmeintown?"

`Oh!Itisonlyaquestionofafewhours.IcouldgotoSohointheevening,andcometoyourchambersafterwards."

`ThenIsayyes,"saidStryver:`Iwon"tgouptherenow,Iamnotsohotuponitasthatcomesto;Isayyes,andIshallexpectyoutolookinto-night.Good-morning."

ThenMr.StryverturnedandburstoutoftheBank,causingsuchaconcussionofaironhispassagethrough,thattostandupagainstitbowingbehindthetwocounters,requiredtheutmostremainingstrengthofthetwoancientclerks.

Thosevenerableandfeeblepersonswerealwaysseenbythepublicintheactofbowing,andwerepopularlybelieved,whentheyhadbowedacustomerout,stilltokeeponbowingintheemptyofficeuntiltheybowedanothercustomerin.

Thebarristerwaskeenenoughtodivinethatthebankerwouldnothavegonesofarinhisexpressionofopiniononanylesssolidgroundthanmoralcertainty.Unpreparedashewasforthelargepillhehadtoswallow,hegotitdown.`Andnow,"saidMr.Stryver,shakinghisforensicforefingerattheTempleingeneral,whenitwasdown,`mywayoutofthis,is,toputyouallinthewrong."

ItwasabitoftheartofanOldBaileytactician,inwhichhefoundgreatrelief.`Youshallnotputmeinthewrong,younglady,"saidMr.Stryver;`I"lldothatforyou."

Accordingly,whenMr.Lorrycalledthatnightaslateasteno"clock,Mr.Stryver,amongaquantityofbooksandpaperslitteredoutforthepurpose,seemedtohavenothinglessonhismindthanthesubjectofthemorning.HeevenshowedsurprisewhenhesawMr.Lorry,andwasaltogetherinanabsentandpreoccupiedstate.

`Well!"saidthatgood-naturedemissary,afterafullhalf-hourofbootlessattemptstobringhimroundtothequestion.`IhavebeentoSoho."

`ToSoho?"repeatedMr.Stryver,coldly.`Oh,tobesure!WhatamIthinkingof!"

`AndIhavenodoubt,"saidMr.Lorry,`thatIwasrightintheconversationwehad.Myopinionisconfirmed,andIreiteratemyadvice."

`Iassureyou,"returnedMr.Stryver,inthefriendliestway,`thatIamsorryforitonyouraccount,andsorryforitonthepoorfather"saccount.Iknowthismustalwaysbeasoresubjectwiththefamily;letussaynomoreaboutit."

`Idon"tunderstandyou,"saidMrLorry.

`Idaresaynot,"rejoinedStryver,noddinghisheadinasmoothingandfinalway;nomatter,nomatter."

`Butitdoesmatter,"Mr.Lorryurged.

`Noitdoesn"t;Iassureyouitdoesn"t.Havingsupposedthattherewassensewherethereisnosense,andalaudableambitionwherethereisnotalaudableambition,Iamwelloutofmymistake,andnoharmisdone.Youngwomenhavecommittedsimilarfolliesoftenbefore,andhaverepentedtheminpovertyandobscurityoftenbefore.Inanunselfishaspect,Iamsorrythatthethingisdropped,becauseitwouldhavebeenabadthingformeinaworldlypointofview;inaselfishaspect,Iamgladthatthethinghasdropped,becauseitwouldhavebeenabadthingformeinaworldlypointofview——itishardlynecessarytosayIcouldhavegainednothingbyit.Thereisnoharmatalldone.Ihavenotproposedtotheyounglady,and,betweenourselves,Iambynomeanscertain,onreflection,thatIevershouldhavecommittedmyselftothatextent.Mr.Lorry,youcannotcontrolthemincingvanitiesandgiddinessesofempty-headedgirls;youmustnotexpecttodoit,oryouwillalwayshedisappointed.

Now,praysaynomoreaboutit.Itellyou,Iregretitonaccountofothers,butIamsatisfiedonmyownaccount.AndIamreallyverymuchobligedtoyouforallowingmetosoundyou,andforgivingmeyouradvice;youknowtheyoungladybetterthanIdo;youwereright,itneverwouldhavedone.

Mr.Lorrywassotakenaback,thathelookedquitestupidlyatMr.Stryvershoulderinghimtowardsthedoor,withanappearanceofshoweringgenerosity,forbearance,andgoodwill,onhiserringhead."Makethebestofit,mydearsir,"saidStryver;`saynomoreaboutit;thankyouagainforallowingmetosoundyou;good-night!"Mr.Lorrywasoutinthenight,beforeheknewwherehewas.Mr.Stryverwaslyingbackonhissofa,winkingathisCeiling.

CHAPTERXIII

TheFellowofNoDelicacy

IFSydneyCartonevershoneanywhere,hecertainlynevershonethehouseofDoctorManette.Hehadbeenthereoften,duringawholeyear,andhadalwaysbeenthesamemoodyandmoroseloungerthere.Whenhecaredtotalk,hetalkedwell;but,thecloudofcaringfornothing,whichovershadowedhimwithsuchafataldarkness,wasveryrarelypiercedbythelightwithinhim.

Andyethedidcaresomethingforthestreetsthatenvironedthathouse,andforthesenselessstonesthatmadetheirpavements.Manyanighthevaguelyandunhappilywanderedthere,whenwinehadbroughtnotransitorygladnesstohim;manyadrearydaybreakrevealedhissolitaryfigurelingeringthere,andstilllingeringtherewhenthefirstbeamsofthesunbroughtintostrongrelief,removedbeautiesofarchitectureinspiresofchurchesandloftybuildings,asperhapsthequiettimebroughtsomesenseofbetterthings,elseforgottenandunattainable,intohismind.Oflate,theneglectedbedintheTempleCourthadknownhimmorescantilythinever;andoftenwhenhehadthrownhimselfuponitnolongerthanafewminutes,hehadgotupagain,andhauntedthatneighbourhood.

OnadayinAugust,whenMr.Stryver(afternotifyingtohisjackalthat`hehadthoughtbetterofthatmarryingmatter")hadcarriedhisdelicacyintoDevonshire,andwhenthesightandscentofflowersintheCitystreetshadsomewaifsofgoodnessinthemfortheworst,ofhealthforthesickliest,andofyouthfortheoldest,Sydney"sfeetstilltrodthosestones.Frombeingirresoluteandpurposeless,hisfeetbecameanimatedbyanintention,and,intheworkingoutofthatintention,theytookhimtotheDoctor"sdoor.

Hewasshownupstairs,andfoundLucieatherwork,alone.Shehadneverbeenquiteathereasewithhim,andreceivedhimwithsomelittleembarrassmentasheseatedhimselfnearhertable.But,lookingupathisfaceintheinterchangeofthefirstfewcommonplaces,sheobservedachangeinit.

`Ifearyouarenotwell,Mr.Carton!"

`No.ButthelifeIlead,MissManette,isnotconducivetohealth.Whatistobeexpectedoforby,suchprofligates?"

`Isitnot——forgiveme;Ihavebegunthequestiononmylips——apitytolivenobetterlife?"

`Godknowsitisashame!"

`Thenwhynotchangeit?"

Lookinggentlyathimagain,shewassurprisedandsaddenedtoseethatthereweretearsinhiseyes.Thereweretearsinhisvoicetoo,asheanswered:

`Itistoolateforthat.IshallneverbebetterthanIam.Ishallsinklower,andbeworse."

Heleanedanelbowonhertable,andcoveredhiseyeswithhishand.Thetabletrembledinthesilencethatfollowed.

Shehadneverseenhintsoftened,andwasmuchdistressed.Heknewhertobeso,withoutlookingather,andsaid:

`Prayforgiveme,MissManette.IbreakdownbeforetheknowledgeofwhatIwanttosaytoyou.Willyouhearme?"

`Ifitwilldoyouanygood,Mr.Carton,ifitwouldmakeyouhappier,itwouldmakemeveryglad!"

`Godblessyouforyoursweetcompassion!"

Heunshadedhisfaceafteralittlewhile,andspokesteadily.`Don"tbeafraidtohearme.Don"tshrinkfromanything

Isay.Iamlikeonewhodiedyoung.Allmylifemighthavebeen."

`No,Mr.Carton.Iamsurethatthebestpartofitmightstillbe;Iamsurethatyoumightbemuch,muchworthierofyourself."

`Sayofyou,MissManette,andalthoughIknowbetter——althoughinthemysteryofmyownwretchedheartIknowbetter——IshallneverforgetitI"

Shewaspaleandtrembling.Hecametoherreliefwithafixeddespairofhimselfwhichmadetheinterviewunlikeanyotherthatcouldhavebeenholden.

`Ifithadbeenpossible,MissManette,thatyoucouldhavereturnedtheloveofthemanyouseebeforeyou——self-flungaway,wasted,drunken,poorcreatureofmisuseasyouknowhimtobe——hewouldhavebeenconsciousthisdayandhour,inspiteofhishappiness,thathewouldbringyoutomisery,bringyoutosorrowandrepentance,blightyou,disgraceyou,pullyoudownwithhim.Iknowverywellthatyoucanhavenotendernessforme;Iaskfornone;Iameventhankfulthatitcannothe."

`Withoutit,canInotsaveyou,Mr.Carton?CanInotrecallyou——forgivemeagain!——toabettercourse?CanIinnowayrepayyourconfidence?Iknowthisisaconfidence,"shemodestlysaid,afteralittlehesitation,andinearnesttears,`Iknowyouwouldsaythistonooneelse.CanIturnittonogoodaccountforyourself,Mr.Carton?"

Heshookhishead.

`Tonone.No,MissManette,tonone.Ifyouwillhearmethroughaverylittlemore,allyoucaneverdoformeisdone.Iwishyoutoknowthatyouhavebeenthelastdreamofmysoul.InmydegradationIhavenotbeensodegradedbutthatthesightofyouwithyourfather,andofthishomemadesuchahomebyyou,hasstirredoldshadowsthatIthoughthaddiedoutofme.SinceIknewyou,IhavebeentroubledbyaremorsethatIthoughtwouldneverreproachmeagain,andhaveheardwhispersfromoldvoicesimpellingmeupward,thatIthoughtweresilentforever.Ihavehadunformedideasofstrivingafresh,beginninganew,shakingoffslothandsensuality,andfightingouttheabandonedfight.Adream,alladream,thatendsinnothing,andleavesthesleeperwherehelaydown,butIwishyoutoknowthatyouinspiredit."

`Willnothingofitremain?OMr.Carton,thinkagain!Tryagain!"

`No,MissManette;allthroughit,Ihaveknownmyselftobequiteundeserving.AndyetIhavehadtheweakness,andhavestilltheweakness,towishyoutoknowwithwhatasuddenmasteryyoukindledme,heapofashesthatIam,intofire——afire,however,inseparableinitsnaturefrommyself,quickeningnothing,lightingnothing,doingnoservice,idlyburningaway."

`Sinceitismymisfortune,Mr.Carton,tohavemoreunhappythanyouwerebeforeyouknewme——

`Don"tsaythat,MissManette,foryouwouldhavereclaimedme,ifanythingcould.Youwillnotbethecauseofmybecomingworse."

`Sincethestateofyourmindthatyoudescribe,is,atallevents,attributabletosomeinfluenceofmine——thisiswhatImean,ifIcanmakeitplain——canIusenoinfluencetoserveyou?HaveInopowerforgood,withyou,atall?"

`TheutmostgoodthatIamcapableofnow,MissManette,Ihavecomeheretorealise.Letmecarrythroughtherestofmymisdirectedlife,theremembrancethatIopenedmyhearttoyou,lastofalltheworld;andthattherewassomethingleftinmeatthistimewhichyoucoulddeploreandpity."

`WhichIentreatedyoutobelieve,againandagain,mostfervently,withallmyheart,wascapableofbetterthings,Mr.Carton!"

`Entreatmetobelieveitnomore,MissManette.Ihaveprovedmyself,andIknowbetter.Idistressyou;Idrawfasttoanend.Willyouletmebelieve,whenIrecallthisday,thatthelastconfidenceofmylifewasreposedinyourpureandinnocentbreast,andthatitliestherealone,andwillbesharedbynoone?"

`Ifthatwillbeaconsolationtoyou,yes."

`Notevenbythedearestoneevertobeknowntoyou?"

`Mr.Carton,"sheanswered,afteranagitatedpause,`thesecretisyours,notmine;andIpromisetorespectit."

`Thankyou.Andagain,Godblessyou."

Heputherhandtohislips,andmovedtowardsthedoor.`Beundernoapprehension,MissManette,ofmyeverresumingthisconversationbysomuchasapassingword.Iwillneverrefertoitagain.IfIweredead,thatcouldnotbesurerthanitishenceforth.Inthehourofmydeath,Ishallholdsacredtheonegoodremembrance——andshallthankandblessyouforit——thatmylastavowalofmyselfwasmadetoyou,andthatmyname,andfaults,andmiseriesweregentlycarriedinyourheart.Mayitotherwisebelightandhappy!"

Hewassounlikewhathehadevershownhimselftobe,anditwassosadtothinkhowmuchhehadthrownaway,andhowmuchheeverydaykeptdownandperverted,thatLucieManetteweptmournfullyforhimashestoodlookingbackather.

`Becomforted!"hesaid,`Iamnotworthsuchfeeling,MissManette.Anhourortwohence,andthelowcompanionsandlowhabitsthatIscornbutyieldto,willrendermelessworthsuchtearsasthose,thananywretchwhocreepsalongthestreets.BecomfortedBut,withinmyself,Ishallalwaysbe,towardsyou,whatIamnow,thoughoutwardlyIshallbewhatyouhaveheretoforeseenme.ThelastsupplicationbutoneImaketoyou,is,thatyouwillbelievethisofme."

`Iwill,Mr.Carton."

`Mylastsupplicationofall,isthis;andwithit,IwillrelieveyouofavisitorwithwhomIwellknowyouhavenothinginunison,andbetweenwhomandyouthereisanimpassablespace.Itisuselesstosayit,Iknow,butitrisesoutofmysoul.Foryou,andforanydeartoyou,Iwoulddoanything.Ifmycareerwereofthatbetterkindthattherewasanyopportunityorcapacityofsacrificeinit,Iwouldembraceanysacrificeforyouandforthosedeartoyou.Trytoholdmeinyourmind,atsomequiettimes,asardentandsincereinthisonething.Thetimewillcome,thetimewillnotbelongincoming,whennewtieswillbeformedaboutyou——tiesthatwillbindyouyetmoretenderlyandstronglytothehomeyousoadorn——thedearesttiesthatwillevergraceandgladdenyou.OMissManette,whenthelittlepictureofahappyfather"sfacelooksupinyours,whenyouseeyourownbrightbeautyspringingupanewatyourfeet,thinknowandthenthatthereisamanwhowouldgivehislife,tokeepalifeyoulovebesideyou!"Hesaid,`Farewell!"saidalast`Godblessyou!"andlefther.

CHAPTERXIV

TheHonestTradesman

TOtheeyesofMr.JeremiahCruncher,sittingonhisstoolinFleetStreetwithhisgrislyurchinbesidehim,avastnumberandvarietyofobjectsinmovementwereeverydaypresented.WhocouldsituponanythinginFleetStreetduringthebusyhoursoftheday,andnotbedazedanddeafenedbytwoimmenseprocessions,oneevertendingwestwardwiththesun,theotherevertendingeastwardfromthesun,bothevertendingtotheplainsbeyondtherangeofredandpurplewherethesungoesdown!

Withhisstrawinhismouth,Mr.Crunchersatwatchingthetwostreams,liketheheathenrusticwhohasforseveralcenturiesbeenondutywatchingonestream——savingthatJerryhadnoexpectationoftheireverrunningdry.Norwouldithavebeenanexpectationofahopefulkind,sinceBallpartofhisincomewasderivedfromthepilotageoftimidwomen(mostlyofafullhabitandpastthemiddleoflife)fromTellson"ssideofthetidestotheoppositeore.Briefassuchcompanionshipwasineveryseparateinstance,Mr.Cruncherneverfailedtobecomesointerestedtheladyastoexpressastrongdesiretohavethehonourdrinkingherverygoodhealth.Anditwasfromthegiftstoweduponhimtowardstheexecutionofthisbenevolentpurpose,thatherecruitedhisfinances,asjustnowobserved.

Timewas,whenapoetsatuponastoolinapublicplace,andmusedinthesightofmen.Mr.Cruncher,sittingonstoolinapublicplace,butnotbeingapoet,musedaslittleaspossible,andlookedabouthim.

Itfelloutthathewasthusengagedinaseasonwhencrowdswerefew,andbelatedwomenfew,andwhenhisaffairsingeneralweresounprosperousastoawakenastrongsuspicioninhisbreastthatMrs.Crunchermusthavebeen`flopping"insomepointedmanner,whenanunusualconcoursepouringdownFleetStreetwestward,attractedhisattention.Lookingthatway,Mr.Crunchermadeoutthatmekindoffuneralwascomingalong,andthattherewaspopularobjectiontothisfuneral,whichengendereduproar.

`YoungJerry,"saidMr.Cruncher,turningtohisoffspring,`it"saburyin"."

`Hooroar,father!"criedYoungJerry.

Theyounggentlemanutteredthisexultantsoundwithmysterioussignificance.Theeldergentlemantookthecrysoill,thathewatchedhisopportunity,andsmotetheyounggentlemanontheear.

`Whatd"yemean?Whatareyouhooroaringat?Whatdoyouwanttoconweytoyourownfather,youyoungRip?Thisboyisagettingtoomanyforme!"saidMr.Cruncher,surveyinghim.`Himandhishooroars.Don"tletmehearnomoreofyou,oryoushallfeelsomemoreofme.D"yehear?"

`Iwarn"tdoingnoharm,"YoungJerryprotested,rubbinghischeek.

`Dropitthen,"saidMr.Cruncher;`Iwon"thavenoneofyournoharms.Getatopofthatthereseat,andlookatthecrowd."

Hissonobeyed,andthecrowdapproached;theywerebawlingandhissingroundadingyhearseanddingymourningcoach,inwhichmourningcoachtherewasonlyonemourner,dressedinthedingytrappingsthatwereconsideredessentialtothedignityoftheposition.Thepositionappearedbynomeanstopleasehim,however,withanincreasingrabblesurroundingthecoach,deridinghim,makinggrimacesathim,andincessantlygroaningandcallingout:`Yah!Spies!Tst!Yaha!Spies!"withmanycomplimentstoonumerousandforcibletorepeat.

FuneralshadatalltimesaremarkableattractionforMr.Cruncher;healwaysprickeduphissenses,andbecameexcited,whenafuneralpassedTellson"s.Naturally,therefore,afuneralwiththisuncommonattendanceexcitedhimgreatly,andheaskedofthefirstmanwhoranagainsthim:

`Whatisit,brother?What"sitabout?"

`Idon"tknow,"saidtheman.`Spies!Yaha!Tst!Spies!"

Heaskedanotherman.`Whoisit?"

`Idon"tknow,"returnedtheman,clappinghishandstohismouthnevertheless,andvociferatinginasurprisingheatandwiththegreatestardour,`Spies!Yaha!Tst,tst!Spi-ies!"

Atlength,apersonbetterinformedonthemeritsofthecase,tumbledagainsthim,andfromthispersonhelearnedthatthefuneralwasthefuneralofOneRogerCly.

`WasHeaspy?"askedMr.Cruncher.

`OldBaileyspy,"returnedhisinformant.`YahaTst!Yah!OldBaileySpi-i-ies!"

`Why,tobesure!"exclaimedJerry,recallingtheTrialatwhichhehadassisted.`I"veseenhim.Dead,ishe?"

`Deadasmutton,"returnedtheother,`andcan"tbetoodead.Have`emout,thereSpies!Pull`emout,there!Spies!"

Theideawassoacceptableintheprevalentabsenceofanyidea,thatthecrowdcaughtitupwitheagerness,and,loudlyrepeatingthesuggestiontohave`emout,andtopullemout,mobbedthetwovehiclessocloselythattheycametoastop.Onthecrowd"sopeningthecoachdoors,theonemournerscuffledoutofhimselfandwasintheirhandsforamoment;buthewassoalert,andmadesuchgooduseofhistime,thatinanothermomenthewasscouringawayupabystreet,aftersheddinghiscloak,hat,longhatband,whitepockethandkerchief,andothersymbolicaltears.